melodrama Dack Rambo is my father That's all this place really is. Breeding ground for melodrama. But still, it's oddly comforting. 020421 ... Dafremen N.S. Huh? Well we´ll try to keep that same ¨like mama used to make¨ programming coming your way. Coming to you 3 days a week or so from a small hot cybercafe in Colonia Pancho Villa, Baja California, Mexico...all the online parody, fantasy and stupidity you could ever want, or at least so I say. Occasionally we´ll have guests on the show with THEIR take on what we have to say, ENJOY these specials, our budgeting doesn´t allow for many of them. We´ve been working on original digital artwork to keep you intrigued if not completely numb with boredom and if that isn´t commitment to YOU the blathing audience, I don´t know what is. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to come into your home 3 nights a week...it..)sniff(...is a great..)choke(...honor. Thank you)sob(. 020422 ... Dack Rambo is my father Oh, how I love sarcasm! Especially when I am intentionally (or rather, supposedly) trying to put something down and gripping about something I clearly imply I enjoy. Yes, sarcasm is a beautiful thing. 020422 ... unhinged why do i feel so upset that you aren't coming back? why am i reviewing everything in my mind like i do when i know it was the last time? the thought of seeing you from far away knowing that you were ignoring me made me sick. the thought of knowing i won't get to see you from far away makes me sad. 020422 ... Dafremen Ok chicklette, that's it. You're officially a masochist. (What to do with a Libran who can't find a partner who doesn't screw them both physically AND emotionally?) see also: INSIGHTS_INTO_LIBRA 020425 ... stork daddy what is love? sometimes it seems it is drinking our own tears, be they bitter or sweet, from the cupped palms of a stranger's hands. who knows how long we should survive. for me, i simply try each day to breathe in breathe out, say more hellos than goodbyes, hold each in my memory as i calmly, often unexpectedly walk away, as i become their horizon again. i often need you there, as a writer needs a thesaurus or a engineer a protactor, to provide the missing word or angle. but the rain washes over me, the sun dries out my skin like pottery and i am alone. i will never know enough to be satisfied. there may however be a point where i cannot hold anymore in, where i plead to start from the beginning, return to a garden where nothing seemed forbidden. do not listen to me, force me to change, let us share uncertainty. my love for you is kissing in the rain, it is kneeling on gravel, it is unintelligible churnings. i can see reasons for it, but it is not this which fires up within me, it is not this which casts dirt upon the blank page of reason, the real reasons force me to say things i'd never say, take drives i should let go on forever only in dreams. i cannot voice them, they are not my voice, they are as surpising to me as they must be to you. 030627 ... knotted meat my love for you is right here, it's in the rain, it's kneeling on gravel. it's stupid. but so's life. it's just having it now, let's have it now. 030716 ... celestias shadow something i lapse into far more often than i should. 031025 ... no reason i don't want it. but i need something to do. something new. surprising. 041005 ... dnell olem bellend 060225 ... re_alisma studying astrology, I came across the classic Leo dilemma summed very neatly: create theater, or live melodrama. Trust me, I rebelled at first to that because I truly thought there would be more options..... So, I'm a very sorry one for thinking that I could be a scientist with such a constitution.... there are other parts of me that scream scientist so I had quite a dilemma and this vaudevillian Internet mighta made it worse, compounding the "problem".... As time goes on I care less and less, and I start to plan out my next attempt at whatever it is that I'm after.... Also I'm trying to be a person of worth while all the regrouping takes place. I do try to make good on whatever problems have been caused! Yours Truly, to the extent that I can manage it, 110307 what's it to you? who go blather from