defensive yoink i exposed a little gem to the woman at the well in hopes that it would strike up a key of honesty and friendliness instead, what do i get? stones thrown at me for everything. i guess the world hates honesty. that, or it can't handle the truth 010519 ... Joy Not admitting that you are aroused. 030824 ... misstree i want to be attracted. i really do. i have no reason not to be. i can think up excuses all i want, but really, the peachfish states its desires quite clearly. but the brain, not so much balks, as hits a numb spot. there's nothing there, no desire, only intellectual interest. i am always disappointed when their interest dies immediately and completely when i end the game, when i put across in maybeless terms that no, my brain is broken, as lovely as a good solid fuck would feel i'm not interested. i can't blame them, given the circumstances, but i feel the loss of a human connection to mating drives and directives, and it hurts, both because they feel it and i cause it. i wish i could want them. 061219 what's it to you? who go blather from