i_don't_have_words jezabel my mind is so blinded by scarlet anticipations that even words won't come, they're hiding somewhere behind a velvet curtain, trembling, afraid that i will rend them and devour them in this frenzied quest. they're right; they should hide. each near miss leaves me raving, slavering, and the newest number in their endless procession has me half mad, eyes rolling, grins and snarls melding. hide yourselves away, little constructions. all i'll do right now is mutilate you for my own idle pleasure. 030915 ... endless desire so why do i bother? i don't mean to pollute i just want to be heard. that's so hard when you have nothing worth hearing. im so sorry. 031120 ... oldephebe jezebel sounds a lot like mtree kindred souls..or or is one an alter-ego of the other..? 031120 ... misstree it's spelled jezAbel. and i'll tell you the truth if you tell me a secret. any secret. 031121 ... oldephebe noted - jezAbel secrets? me? they're probably way too bland for the tomb of your ears..hit me up @ oldephebe@hotmail.com..if you feel like it.. peace... 031121 ... misstree i don't think you could do anything in a bland manner, 'phebe, you pretend at being oatmeal when really you're quite a complex grain... and a missive has been sent to your roost, m'lord, peruse at your whim. 031121 ... oldephebe yeah..i ah stand totally corrected..and thankyou for your gentle remonstrations with regard to the whole nominative derivation thing..i'll just keep mah mouth shut for a while..if i can..:) 031121 ... misstree if Our Lady of the Endless Chatter and Absolutely No Shame (me) can keep her mouth shut, so can you. ;) and i think the "a" is an accidental misspelling, but you'd have to ask jez... may just be something like my opinoin, a flagrant and stubborn misspelling... *shrug* 031121 ... oE where is Madame Jez these days? 031228 ... misstree she's been distracted by other things, but talked to her over the holidays, she's threatening to come around. 031228 ... misstree speak of the devil: poetry'jealousy 031228 ... jezabel yes, my beauty, i am about... there are times when i become shadow... but still i am here... i am suckling my own words, unwilling to share... yet... i smell gasoline... this is a good sign... sometimes the only way to set words free is to burn away what traps them... i am flattered that you remember me, and more so that you crave my presence... flattery is a wonderful way to draw me out, and timing's tricks seem to be conspiring in favor of such an outcome... i do indeed miss tracing my fingers across you, your reluctance is delicious fuel for an incendiary nature... we shall see what words come to warm their blood... and i am curious, my lovely tree, what exactly you told him... i see how you share the secrets of others hereabouts... and you know many that i guard... 031229 ... oldephebe i won't even pretend to have the words at this slice of time..slender crescent slice of night that is left..it is late..there is another here though madame jez that aspires to your throne of indegagitable (...)i'm fresh out of metaphores and adverbial modifiers..and if i don't feel it ir see it, then i don't write it..can't force the funk..anyway i'll check in with you tomorrow Madame jez..mtree didn't really get specific or any thing..so please do not vent your imperial ire upon her..but knowing the Tree she may intercept it as a prelude to intimacy or something...the first salvo int the dance.. peace and happy holidays jez.. 031229 ... jezabel if i were to chronicle each stolen gasp, each nearly secluded encounter, each hunt that has ended with gory feast, my fingers would wear to the bone and i would be left without time to continue creating stories and points of passion for me to perch on and squak my scenes to the empty air. instead i will say that my hands and my hips and my lips have been busier than my words, that i have been too busy feeling to shout over my shoulder tales to the bustling crowd, i have been busy hunting rather than writing travel guides. forgive. words come as they will, and sometimes, even i can't seduce them. 040102 ... oldephebe you know..it's intriguiging to me in a non-prurient way that..me all tied up in my quirks and rectitude feel such an affinity...?...or fondness towards this persona you've projected jez..i mean since we've never touched or talked..i can only say projection..i've no doubt you are an authentically passionate sensory dependant or one who thrives on sensory, tactile exchanges..the extroversion and charisma cultivates those kinds of appetites and predilictions..maybe..and i who am seriously doubting whether or not my heart and body will ever touch another..seriously..the diminishing horizions of that potential is rapidly receding..broken body and broken soul..so very much baggage.. whatever..but still.. in the world of flesh and bone i'd probably never venture further than the perfunctory hello or social nicities..(wich are tedious and abhorrent to me..my misanthropic tendencies..shame on me! he mimed sardonically)..so somehow in the blue i reach out past my neurosis and rigorously observed prohibitions and misconceptions and touch minds with a soul such as yourself..totally lost train of thought now..anyway.. 040106 ... H Incadenza Such a sad a broken bitter man. 040227 ... scarlet and fire and blood to each their element all artists are tortured by something 040227 ... ethereal you stole them. along with my passion. my care. my love. 040227 ... misstree i won't let myself. not yet. not until the cycle has spun to the proper place. and i tremble to think of what will erupt when they are unleashed, because i know that if it is proper, it will destroy me. 040227 ... shilohlives I have the beginings of thoughts...and the spirals of emotions...unfortunately, those spirals don't understand that they need to take shape. It is necessary for them to express themselves and let themselves by known...Unforunately my polution results in the conclusion that i don't have words for this... 040227 ... pete at least, i don't have my own words. just your words, your guitar in my mind, and kaplan talking about africa, livingstone talking about africa, speke, burton, and all the gang talking to me about africa... their words, your words, not mine. 040810 ... three words taken ive_lost_my_mind i_don't_have_words 050220 ... suicidalchinadoll just thoughts, and aches the memories sustain us for tonight perhaps the dawn will bring with her, more words for tomorrow. 080524 what's it to you? who go blather from