oldephebe jane and i just can't believe you write with such passion thank you for your lack of inhibition for adding your self to bl_a_th_e_r i look forward to reading more of your work 030708 ... endless desire er yes, ditto. write more so i may have the honor of reading :) 030708 ... oldephebe umm i'm not really comfortable with exaltation or praise and yeah really not trying to sound falsly flattered here (struck stone gushing brightly) thanx i have been honored to have sipped your soul water streams, to have waded into these glorious realms of rhetoric i will write i will write you will write jane will write the spork will write mon will write ashmanzhou will write endless desire and jane will write we will all write and plait our streams together 030709 ... random blatherskite #33 how would one go about getting in touch with you? 030709 ... oldephebe umm you just did okay maybe i'm so completely obtuse that i can't fathom the implications of your question speak when spoken to i'm broken too bass CLAP! UMPH UMPH CLAP! i try to be rigorously reticent umph umph CLAP! then cymbal shimmer umph rimshot! repeat and rinse your query it's scary and maybe .... blah (rest) bass clap see i have this tendancy to be digressive it's agressive to hide the secrect throbbing places wha what so meet me here a minute to midnight and ah i'd say you just did and then i hid purring pleonasms and then i gather a disposable rain poncho i use it to protect myself from the spatter no past no pain so what's the matter some say put away your crying cloth stop sagging like a shack where's the bass where's the CLAP where's the cymbal shimmer there's an old ghost of my fallen youth shrieking in the corner of a fallen sky cue the haunting choral breaths more subtly now umph clap and bring the bossa nova whole notes of plaintive AAHH .. AAHH a quorum of tsks huddled i saw my innocence die a thousand times i'm a man made of misery you're probably better off not knowing me (shudders at the cliche) so i saw my innocece die a thousand times i intern it - it rises again i exhume it- it dies again i burn it - and then blame it on my friends so what was your question? no i really mean what was your question cause aren't we all getting in touch with one another right now? and yes - NOW - is relative all these temporal eddies plot points of perception i'm trying not to be a bitter captive to my brokeness i try really not be always with the furrowed brow but i carry the cloud (where is this estuary going?) so i guees i'll see you later in this page or in some other realm of blather and now ... warm light permeating everything 030709 ... oldephebe like i said sometimes i swing sometimes i miss for jane and E.D. you asked for more of the incontinence cue door closing 030709 ... endless desire mmmmm loves the smell of good poetry. 030709 ... oldephebe who are you random blatherskite 33? what name do you normally post or blathe under? wait am i being intrusive here? it's just my pinwheel pschedelic personality but still ... i'm curious have i read your blathes before? not unctiously asking but kind of intrigued but it would take a lot to breath on these slow dying embers. oldephebe abashedly inserts this parenthetical interposition: note all standard inferences to psychedelic should inhere except for the one suggesting psychosis - i'm an inocuous eccentric - relentless inner critic: okay really that was just totally superfluous and suggests a negative inference where none has neccessarily been made or will be made - random blatherskite 33 is now totally disabused of any inclination to "get in touch" with me oldephebe it's 4 o'clock in the morning and the air outside is dying i'm waiting for the dawn to dapple me anew i'm waiting for the lions empty roar in three hours i'll head out the door and try to look brave against the day its yawning maw there are so many things in me still unstirred and yet i wonder at the edges in the places in me i look askance at wake me up break me up inside the dying light in loves cathedral it's still there in me bits of broken glass every fucking time i b r e a t h where is my holy ardor now? where are my avowals to heaven where is my piety my enolbling invigorating faith can't you see my stigmata stop asking me what's the matter madness and hate run amok in the world where are my jaunty alliterations, where's the wit and the whimsy child of blight child of blight i've been saying that since the age of 12 diachotomy and i don't care if i didn't spell it right diurnal - two suns in the sky where are all my exhortations now? you pretty perfect petty little thing yeah i've got a penchant for p's let me scour out my mind with some really rigorous affirmations mend this tenement of death fold myself into a fetal prayer God will still find me He always does oh how sweetly i expire i am not sure if i am done or if th 030710 ... anonymoussixteen alright, dont worry, I lost my interest in emailing you or contacting you in any other way. peace 030710 ... oldephebe well i have to say i'm not relieved or crestfallen see i didn't really direct most of that at you or anyone else - most of my blathes kind of become unmoored and just begin their own journey most of that was like i said elswhere an enfilade of arrows hurled into my sighing heart see i've got my self esteem burnished to a retinal scarring brilliance - so i've got to do something to blunt my inordinate self confidence, look i hope you like what you read and i look forward to reading more of your stuff anonymous sixteen God i'm somewhat embarrassed because i really didn't expect anyone to read my crisis catharsis i just sprawled my spirit right out there ... time to extricate myself from this crucifix constriction more aggressivley positive affirmations to come hey look i'm being flippant and needlessly alliterative again warm light beggining to permeate e v e r y t h i n g AAAH an eclesiastical AAAH ... 030710 ... oldephebe for jane and endless desire or anyone else who might happen upon this blathe like i said sometimes i swing and sometimes i miss but i'm learning to trust what jane and endless and few others have kindly said ... 030710 ... . "*__*" 030714 ... oldephebe *growls a gray hymm to diminishing potentialities/possibilites* ..is fatalism a kind of fundamentalism for the age of dessiccated compassion? and is fatalism like inevitable in an age of an effete culture being propogated and slingshot out and masquerading as this kind of meta-culture? Are all the arguments we make against it's inexorable and ineluctable progression and then our eventual subsumation into its'lurid maw are they as impotent as say a gnat swimming on the surface of some pretty viscuous tang and trying to extricate itself from its cloying clinging clasp? Is this exodus away from ourselves into a vapid and vacuous exterior, does it presage the preparation of our aching empty hearts for some new plunderer to gyrate some new apostacy into our ears? Does the or this construct the apparatus we percieve as the physical universe beholden to all these rigorously researched and nearly quantified, substantiated laws - does that constitute our certainty, our faith in the forensic. ..not exactly having a crucible of faith thing here just musing .. 030724 ... oldephebe well, I'm just all out of words for today and who cares? I liked most of what I read today. here's a random thread - never and I mean never concede or abdicate your sovreignity - never ever allow yourself to become the vassal to someones' vanity. *tips vintage maroon Phillies cap at Daf peace, be well 030806 ... oldephebe In the world of brick and mortar -Sometimes I feel like a Black phantom foraging for the light - and sometimes I'm just looking for something to kill the fire in my mind - and sometimes the Light finds me, in my sarcophagus of the sad - sometimes the light lays cold and dead upon me - opening every imperfection, an unflattering illumination - the house of Reason sometimes is a stifling place for me - the acoutrements of argumentation, the demagogues who erect these spectacular contrivances, and sometimes I catch myself engaged in this dishonest enterprise - sometimes I impale myself upon artifice - and then I hold my petulance up to the mirror - the searing clarity of conscience - buffets me back into sobriety, thrown from my spire, all a man has is his code -period I'm enjoying my brief time in blather - it's invigorating - it's an endless linguistic act or transaction. Read some pretty cool things today. "I paid for the little pink pill so why don't I feel any better?" heh heh superimpose the random it makes such sweet dissonance - yea what - ever And I mark each day with a black pebble. So he said "Doc do I meet the criterion for a perfectionists OCD or OPD?" And the Doctor his face fixed in that banal professional expression of withering tolerance - condescension, crossed his legs clad in courderoy, the real thick kind that makes that odd swish sound whenever he walks (briskly always briskly exuding that crisp and yet simultaneously detached professional demeanor - answers saying "Niether Ira your inherent sloveliness and your IQ hovering just around an unremarkable 99 pretty much excludes you from that esteemed classification of disorders" Blather! Blather! Blather! Mirabilia! Mirabilia! Mirabilia! Let ill will be absent from all our words - impossible later 030808 ... oldephebe nothing to really to add today there was a fire in my local movie theatre no one was hurt now i've got take this really circuitous root to get to a decent movie theatre read some really persuasive arguments today - no not the petty contentions of recent - I'm talking argument of a persons being, the holding forth of a single soul on the state of his/her heart - enjoyed most of it even a few blathes about dreams gave me a few goose bumps just waiting for this spate of insomnia to subside I'm discovering so many enchanting souls here in blather or at least enchanting projections of anonymous souls a side of a side of that hydra headed chimera we all carry inside of us hey, its too boring being pliant and simple, complexity and exasperating polarities of personhood a good thing never ever ever accept an external authority as your governing authority never ever allow anyone to dictate the terms of your argument with my mouth with my heart with my entire being I have shaped a new thing with each breath I have gouged it out of the air standing in the spiritual spaces of so many soul streams - drinking in their beautiful words - Boy do I love blather peace 030810 ... -> Dear oldephebe, I must confess that sometimes I don't read all of your blathes. What I do read I love, but sometimes it is too long for me and I cannot understand. Sometimes the words are long and I feel stupid for not getting it. (you've made me a big fan of dictionary.com) Your words are beautiful. They are honest, in a way most people would never dare to be. And it awes me that you have complimented things I've written. It is, better then so many things I could name. I can't write with the same passion and power that always floods your words, but I wanted to thank you for appreciating me and I wanted to let you know, that I am awed and inspired by you. A Blatherskite and all their pseudonyms 030828 ... oldephebe *oldephebe's slightly austistic heart is pricked by your beautiful words - and ah not really sure if my random discourses on the idosynacratic - and six degrees of solipstistic me can be called beautiful or powerful - geez i'm just striving to be coherent - and yeah my blathes are wow sometimes really long - i'm languishing in the land of of trying really hard not to be dissolved into wantoness, right now - began bumping into an old flame she of the intoxicating aura - i'm standing my ground though - trying to be as obtuse and opaque as possible when i run into her - wow so anyway - oh anonymous writer i will honour your psuedonym or privacy - if i praised your writing then it must have been beautiful - and it doesn't matter who you are, i just hope i ge the chance to read more of your shimmering soul streams -* ---------------------------------------- gee i switched from the third person to the first person - and again somewhere a legion of stringent grammarians is taping my likeness to a dart board and hurling finely hewed pins at my picture and punctuating each salvo with a litany of my egregious lapses - take that! improper use of semi colon, run on sentence! that's for shifting tense in mid-sentence - on and on it goes impaling my picture with pins - okay thank you so very much for your glowing words - sometimes i'm still really unsure if my words are reaching people - what with all the lurching through a sea of amber - um like i said to endless i think it's not so much about me or my words i your words to me say more about your heart - later ... 030828 ... pipedream *hugs oldephebe* 030829 ... endless desire makes me smile. 030829 ... i aint sayin makes me wish i were a fluffy grey cat so i could curl up on his lap and rest. 030902 ... unhinged i was reading something today that reminded me of you; how you write here it's my favorite book of poetry. everytime i read it has different meaning. everything in it is so universal and wonderful and timeless. and at times it's damn funny too. no matter what is my life at the moment that i read it, it is my life. and it always gives me new insights. yeah, it's my favorite. glare - a.r. ammons pick it up. i think you'll like it. 030903 ... oldephebe pipedream, endless, i ain't sayin', unhinged, um..your sentiments are acknowledged, don't feel particularly poetic or even worthy of having this miscellany and miasma that people call poetry or prose highlighted - i just can't seem to keep my mouth shut i guess - pipedream is a painter, a lyrical painter of the prose, her cognitive reach is really impressive, endless is a radiant flower, her young fire heart in full bloom - brilliance unadorned brilliance - she is capable of so much more in the years to come i am sure she will dazzle countless readers, i ain't sayin' well from the penumbra of her unknown identity she heaps praise upon my piles of ash - this is not faux modesty, i'm really confused sometimes as to what people sometimes see in my writing - it's so idiosyncratic - so self-obsessed, thankyou so much "i ain't sayin'" and unhinged - well, i certainly have enjoyed your sparkling streams - no filigree, no adornment just the infectious passion for her music - you all paint the canvas so lovely, it's a wonder that such beautiful hearts can exist in such a hard, and loveless world - it gives me hope sometimes to read all of your writing - but sometimes i feel so fugazi, feel like such a panzi at times when i read my writing - i say how can such things still live in my heart - when do i grow up and become the somber stoic man that my father was? ah oh well...faux modesty blech who needs it - there is a single thread, it's pretty frayed right now, my ragged tether to this land of breathless sighs - still waking up hollow and waiting for it to pass - how much more can be whelped, or written out of emptiness - hmm, and er hmm ..how to extricate a life, my spirit is a groaning ghost within me - okay not really anyones problem - .... ... .. 030903 ... oldephebe Boy, I've been feeling really lousy lately - went to the treasure of Light to be fed and wed back to the Love that saved my life. I left a few words from my favorite teacher of the Word. A true man of God without apparently any fleshly or ecclesiastical ambition apart from being a balm to hurting, hungry hearts, been a few months..been living on the fumes of a failing faith - went back to begin to be restored to life. Hope you find something in Wayne has words .. . 030904 ... User24 I always thought you were female. no matter! 030904 ... oldephebe yea well you're not the first to be wrong about my gender - sure won't be the last, how do you think i feel? Why do you think I keep using terms like diurnal, and diachotomy? How many times have I had a girl friend say "Boy you sure are in touch with your feminine side." I guess that's the place where all my music and poetry and great gasping geysers of overtly emotional prose come from - but if you read oldephebe and i just can't believe you'll see I refer to myself as a male many times as i prattle on about some tragic severing from a flaxen haired soul mate. But then that blathe page is really for the emotional types and probably would send a logical and cerebral fellow like yourself running for the door - aah whatever! I've got this other side too, and ah I'm as equally uncomfortable with that side as well - I can be peremptory, arrogant, sink my teeth deeply and swiftly into someones throat and reel in the tempests of testosterone and malice - and applaud my savagery my inhumanness - so I mostly keeep that side at bay with humility and a spiritual anchor - hey why do you think I do all this expectorating about egalitarianism, and tolerance, and grace, I'm trying to quell (and quite successfully) my darker impulses as well as encourage others never allow themselves to be bullied, even if it's done with discretion and gray gloves on I've got to find the medium ground, but until then, i prefer to be humble and empathic, to walk the gentle path to keep my darker side at bay and - couldn't respect myself if i allowed myself to disrespect another person more to come later - so sorry to have dissapointed you U-24 030904 ... User24 Well, when I first read your response, I sat for about a minute trying to work out whether you were having a go at me, or whether you were just musing in general; as I couldn't decide, I decided to write a response for both scenarios, though the second response is MUCH less heartfelt than it appears; It takes a lot to get me offended, and even then, I probally won't blow up at you. If you meant to snap at me, read response 2, if not, response 1 Response one: mm.. If I have, I didn't mean to offend, I was just saying that to me you seem more female, and I probally did know you were male, and had forgotten (I did read 'believe' when you posted it) so.. yeah.. peace! Response two: yea well, you're not the first to assume that because I'm logical and cerebral that I don't have any space for poetry and beauty, what was it Keats said? "Truth is beauty, beauty truth" I search for beauty, but I don't like being wrong, so I do it logically, it's not an all-or-nothing scenario, you know, science v religion, logic v negative capability I've got another side, too, the side that wrote 'life' and 'insane' the side that gave me my scars, and the side that rises up now and again to pull me down into it's world. If you'll notice the second line of my comment, copied here for your convenience "No Matter", you'll see that your gender didn't actually matter to me, I was just saying that that's how you came across; is it my fault that you've got an issue with people's interpretation of your gender? No, so don't give me that 'so sorry' bullshit, It was just a comment. 030904 ... User24 ok, no, ignore. excuse my semi-shittiness, sorry, response one is what I would say if blather had an undo. and i just can't be mean. 030904 ... oldephebe nah response one is the correct one - i pretty much deal it straight to poeple, so i was trying to pay you a compliment and be a little self deprecating at the same time - yea so response one is cool - i've never been really adept at playing games or wasting time with games or being amused by a manipulative or mischievous imagination - thanks for breaking it down though - sometimes it's kinda hard for me to figure out just what the heck i'm trying to say - and the whole thing about speaking about my dark side was just to explain the curious bent of my personality, and yeah i have major issues with it mainly because - i'd like to stop feeling everything so acutely - but i don't want to become some peremptory jerk either - in the work place i just play it off and become this cordial cerebral type - that way they don't touch me and I don't touch them - this is really way to long - especially with all the dashes and grammatical lapses - oh and ah i haven't read too much of keats and i'm horrible at quoting stuff but nice quote - OK man everything's cool..blibber! ... 030904 ... User24 cool, after I posted it I was worried you'd take offence, I'm glad you didn't. I hate Keats; he's far too wishy washy for me. you have a nice way with words. I read with interest the way you handle your personality, I can relate to it, I can't interact with people socially at all, mainly because I don't normally have any common ground with them, and any conversation I do start or engage in, I find I always end up taking to too high a level. People don't usually talk about politics or philosophy, and in fact most people shy away from intellectual topics, leading people to feel intimidated by my approach, which inevitably leads to 'deep' discussions, which people don't want to talk about (why not?) anyway, yeah, I get the feeling that you might experience the same sort of thing? if so, how do you deal with it? 030904 ... User24 oh, and blobber! 030904 ... i still aint sayin oldephebe, you claim that your writings are self-absorbed, but you seem to not realize that *everyone's* are... that's the only frame of reference that we have, is the self, and the unabashed clarity and nudity of soul that you present is part of why you are so widely adored. even through your hesitations, you shine bright, torrents of light. you mentioned in one post here the "tempests of testosterone and malice"... i have never seen evidence of such, and perhaps it is a peculiarity of my personality, but i wish i could glimpse it... perhaps evidence of release, a slip of control allowed when words are the only weapon. but perhaps for you such a slip would be too much. but also, the very reason for kitten wishes is because you seem so calm despite the torrents, so gentle, so open. if i were a kitten i would imagine you to be warm and caring, and my presence would anchor you to your chair so as not to disturb my purring slumber. and user24, as far as people's avoidance of deep discussions, i believe it's because to discuss something like that takes mental effort, and most people instincively avoid thinking too much (questions lead to more questions, and ignorance really is bliss if you don't know you're ignorant),. also because speaking deeper truths involves a baring of the soul that most people are very uncomfortable doing... as if you would laugh at their beliefs, their thoughts, or worse yet prove them wrong... that form of intellectual openness leaves one very vulnerable. sorry for the intrusion. 030904 ... oldephebe well yeah sometimes i feel slightly autistic - and um since i can't fake the funk i generally try to intuit some aspects of a co-workers or associates, or subordinates personality and try to speak on that common ground - but if the person is just a stuffed suit or a technician (a well educated person who is really good at what he/she went to college for but has no interests or aesthetic impulses or aptitude for empathy) those types without a soul i can't reach - usually i can reach people through my sense of humor, cuts across gender, class, ethnicity, and all that crap - since i don't drink -that kind of has me on the periphery socially because a lot of people go out for drinks after work - unless it's a jazz club - it's kinda not my thing - not really into stripclubs either so - ---------------------------------------- most people are so wasted from work that they don't want to get into anything they consider deep - they just want to talk about the latest reality TV program (or vomitfest as i call them - abhorrent!) but i'd say finding a common ground and steering the conversation towards them and getting a person to talk about themselves ('cause who doesn't like to talk about themself? that usually does the trick) but i think i used the wrong word in characterizing my at work persona - umm I don't see myself as some brain or anything - i'm a chameleon sort of i can slap on the old mba persona real quick with all the verbiage that stork daddy ranted about, all the tonalities and inflections and then change to fit another type of personality - really brisk professionalism yeah that's how i'd put it - but uh (and no i don't have an mba i only majored in management at the undergraduate level and my heart was so not in it woeful gpa - i switched colleges three times) so if i'm so inclined i just try to get the person talking about themselves on a one on one basis - later ... 030904 ... oldephebe okay i still ain't sayin - umm i should be complimenting YOU, beautiful beautiful prose - um..um..no one really sees any part of my so called dark side because I keep it sheathed, it's only reserved for critical situations - i don't like that part of me - and thank god i don't have to use it - and i'm not really a tough guy or anything, we all do what we gotta do - still not sure why all the praise..yeah that's my goal - to be gentle, to be discreet, to be implacable, to not let someone else dictate to me my emotional state..really uncomfortable accepting compliments but thankyou "i still ain't sayin" oh and User 24 thanx man - you have a clarity and a cogency to your writing i aspire to - later, ... 030904 ... User24 :) 030904 ... jane where do you live? if you don't mind my asking 030904 ... unhinged well i have been mistaken for a dude several times on the pages of blather...it happens i guess. and i was once offended slightly but now i just laugh. and you know pheb you sound just like ammons when you say your stuff is poetry cause he kind says the same thing kind of in the same running style that you do. and he's an old man now and glare is all the sparkling knowledge of life that an amazing old man poet can impart to the world. his novel-length poem 'garbage' is also excellent. i discovered it in a discount bookstore and was attracted by the picture...yes sadly enough when books are cheap i do judge them by their covers, and it was the first of many books of ammons i ever read. you brought life back into this place. and in the mushy mass of appreciation, i love you in this faceless but only with a name kind of way. 030904 ... unhinged isn't rather ggggrrrrrr 030904 ... oldephebe well.. i'm a little skittish about that kind of thing - 'cause i was actually stalked once by a woman who was used to getting her way - but philly or wyncote is my home - i think there are several referances in my postings about me tipping a vintage phillies cap to daf or misstree or endless or unhinged or stork daddy or jane or pipedream the lyrical pipedream, the eclectic pipedream, the spiritual pipedream - some guy with a lot of ?'s as his sobriquet - umm..yeah..and i would extend all those attributes heaped upon pipedream to just about every one i enjoy reading - boy did i run my mouth today.. ... 030904 ... oldephebe okay unhinged, more embarrassing words -um well i'm definately not wise or old -not a teenager though, even though i don't think parts of me will ever grow up - yeah i gotta check out this guy your talking about - unhinged you have a beautiful soul - all of you! and who cares whether i see it or not - one voice..one brush..we write to purge our chests of this black ore..so..thankyou so much unhinged, i think there are many people here who are truly gifted as writers - i thank god that i found this site - i was in a pretty dark place that night - still seeing the gray rainbows but ah yeah it's nice to be in the big blue.. 030904 ... unhinged i've worked a lot of my pain out on these blue pages. i think it's a wonderful and cheap form of therapy. a lot of therapists say you should write your feelings down to get them out anyways. blather and my $5 rock shows in youngstown...that was my therapy back in the good old days. and then i discovered weed. but i guess that's a different story. tell me if you like him (ammons). i surely do. i think he's wonderful. i think he would like it here too. 030909 ... oldephebe yea unhinged - finally was able to check some of this remarkable sages poetry out - I found the comparison between our two modes of thought or writing, an inordinate compliment - sort of like a crude chunk of featureless glass, with a smear emblazoned across its viscuous opacity and a finely hewed flawless diamond, but still.. yeah i could definately curl up with a book of this guys poetry and just read for hours..conjuring his effortless images and quasi-philosphic authorial interpositions his phantasmagoric shifts and yet it all threads together and yet beneath it all ..this undertow of wearied life, every word wrapped in wisdoms's sacerdotal robe and yet his voice is strangley contemporary despite his advanced years thankyou for introducing me to his work, i found a few of his poems on line still have to get the book(s) though later ... 030909 ... unhinged saying_saying_away in high school english class we were doing a poetry unit where you learn all the tools of writing poetry like allusion and alliteration and metaphor and simile and all that crap and then you take written poetry and dissect it (like i said already not my favorite thing in the world to do) and one day our teacher was absent so to keep us busy for the substitute our teacher assigned us to pick two of the six or so listed poems and analyze them. i could only find one i sort of liked and i didn't want to analyze it anyways and i was reading ammons at the time so i picked that poem and typed it up and handed it in as the other half of my assignment. (this was for the same english teacher that introduced me to plath) when i got the assignment back she wrote 'see me' at the bottom of the ammons poem and i was afraid she was going to kill me; she was a rather ruthless lady. instead she asked me where i found it and i thought i was going to faint from relief. analysis shmanalysis. blah. glare. get glare. that is probably close to the best one. 030910 ... olephebe unhinged - now i can understand the faint reverberations you sense between my beleagered bathos and the elegantly engineered finesse, artistry of ammons writings this guy marshalls the freight of an omnibus vocabulary and a well ordered mind to illuminate, suture an amalgam of otherwise unremarkable words, into brilliance, brilliance - and sagacity there are a few used book stores, he is like a virtuoso potter and the kiln, shaping ambrosia for the ear, language that sparkles wether it's exhumed from the page or spoken into the open air again thankyou for introducing this remarkable man and his writing to me what is the latest piece of music you've had the pleasure of playing? okay so i'm going to resume watching this lackluster episode of the now dated Deep Space Nine.. later, ... 030910 ... unhinged well, i'm playing all kinds of stuff right now and was just informed that i have to play viola this semester in quartet....i've played the viola before but only limitedly and not in the right clef; i was using the viola as a bass instrument in an early music ensemble and transposing bass clef onto it; basically i was pretending it was a cello. i HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO READ ALTO CLEF. so yeah, i'm freaking about that. today i played the first and fourth movements of tchaikovsky fourth symphony and the orchestra part to dvorak's cello concerto in orchestra and i've been working on viotti's 23rd violin concerto first movement and it looks like i'm about to get the viola part to schubert's a minor string quartet. yeah, i'm swimming in music right now. not to mention all the boring and dry technical exercises i've been working on on violin. *gasp* *sigh* i barely have time to breathe betweeen all that music to learn and two grad level 'academic' classes on music library bibliography and string pedagogy. and working as the orchestra bitch in the orchestra office. *gasp* *sigh* i'm glad you like ammons. he's been one of my favorites since i found him in high school. i might post a few of my more favorite sections from glare one of these days when i need to waste some of my time doing something non-music related. 030911 ... oldephebe ah unhinged, you take me back..i actually like the darker sound of the viola, though i've only heard a few people play its part with passion, there's a rich vein to mine there, especially in anything by Shubert, Brahms, Tchiakovsky et al. I like some of Prokofiev's mercurial musings, he really evokes the merciless gestalt of Russian winter's. Um and the whole alto clef thing, yea - instantaneuos transposition, i always sucked at that. I used to peruse books on arrangement to contend with scoring for and reading string parts. I really enjoy reading about your exploits, and yeah thank you again for adding ammons to my life, i do kind of see what i CAN be reading his virtuosic verbiage..i hope you have some time left over from your busy schedual to rest and recover and connect to those things that center you and moor your unique and talented spirit ... 030911 ... eyedream what I love about you is that you are maybe the kind of girl who loves certain words and dislikes others with no basis on meaning but only the sound and the shape of the letters which is to love and be passionate about words which is blather screams like a girl 030912 ... oldephebe..is ah..strangely chagrined yeah, i am extravagantly alliterative and SHOCK a guy. Do i really come off that effeminate or androgenous? I am a thrice engaged, divorced, happy heterosexual with a not so little mouth to feed. Do i really come off sounding ah not like a male? hmm this is a little troubling. Wait. Are you just yankin' my chain here? hmm and er hmmm well eyedream thankyou for the compliment, you're kinda right. sometimes i just choose words on how they sound or look (they have to fit contextually though) and then sometimes they just come gushing out that way..wait most of the time they just come gushing out in that peculiar way, i don't write this way anywhere else except in my spiral journals and maybe letters to close female friends. 'Cause my boys (what is the appropriate street jargon - crew?)would just kind of sneer and say "umm hey man..what you wrote?..a little fugazi chief." Maybe you're just pulling my leg with the whole mis-identifying gender thing - if not well then..hmm i wish i had your sense of cohesion and dialogue, but it seems that i was shaped to rant and get all overtly emotional and pine and pray and preach or something..You're an extremely talented woman ed i will look forward to eyedreamism VI ... 030912 ... eyedream Only because the word "boy" sounds plastic and artifical so I took the alternative that sounds like WHIRL. Take no offense, I've been doing it to literally everyone. 030912 ... oldephebe now slowly becoming one with the schwart *oldephebe looks askance at the screen, arches eyebrows and furrows brow and purses lips ..just an infinitessimal smirk, and then lowers arched eyebrow, but continues to furrow his brow..and then decides to thank ed for her charity* ..er harrumph..thanx.. *oldephebe then decides to purchace a few volumes of martial verse to "butch up" his prose, his brow is still furrowed, but not imperiously or anything, he's just non plussed* ... 030912 ... eyedream you aren't that feminine at all but effeminate... yes 030912 ... unhinged pheb, i like the darker sound of the viola too, but for a long time and maybe even just in the classical period, the poor viola got shafted as the inner voice that filled in the chords; by far not too interesting to play. important, but not interesting. last year i did fall in love with the viola and liked to rediscover all the solo bach written for violin by playing it on the viola. the way the character of those pieces changed in a deeper register was completely cool. and i have to admit that i find the violin whiny at best at times. the viola is a sadder instrument and that is why i love it. i love having a c string instead of an e string. but suprisingly, playing the viola really isn't at all like playing the violin even though it may look like it on the surface and i want to get the foundations of at least one instrument right which takes a lot of time and dedication that i don't have right now. but if i can pull off all this work this semester maybe i will be able to prove myself around here. finally. the schubert a minor quartet is a wonderful piece with a wonderful viola part. for a long time, i hated schubert for his 'classical' approach and his long-windedness but like a lot of other composers, he proves himself in his chamber music. but, i should be practicing right now. *sigh* 030912 ... misstree for what it's worth, at first i just wasn't sure if you were innie or outie plumbing, and didn't much care... kinda got the vague sense that you were older, but that's it... i remember there was some comment that made me think you were innie, and i was surprised, but then another comment confirmed that you were outie. not effeminate. androgynous. it's a good thing. 030912 ... eyedream how do you know when a group of violists is at your door? they never know when to come in giggles like a schoolgirl 030912 ... oldephebe unhinged - i love the way you invoke your own experience as an authorial implement to pen these amazing discourses - more on shubert and the viola to come..maybe..kind of in pneumatic mode now.. eyedream - what can i say? this is how my soul has been shaped, i'm learning to accept and understand it's uniqueness misstree - thankyou so much - i will not share here the number of affairs i've had with lipstick lesbians -'cause that would be way too wierd..or nah fagedaboudit - interesting though the susceptability of individual perceptions to subjective influences which arises in any encounter of the other..me? i'm a many faceted mirage..reflecting off of a highly glossed patina of a pantomine of parental expectation,.. or is it affected affections being exhumed? - what in the world was that..do not drag these people any further into your so long saga of the sad..so much for my recently acquired tomb of marshall verse.. later, really sorry to hear about john ritter though.. ... 030912 ... unhinged yeah, i have to play in quartet tomorrow. dvorak. viola. CAN'T READ ALTO CLEF. DON'T HAVE A VIOLA YET. yeah.... 030916 ... Dafremen Cancer men are normally very loyal once they've chosen sides. Yes, they'll grumble, yes they'll bitch and pout and stomp back and forth up and down the hallway just loud enough so that you can hear it...but they're still on your side. Who's side are YOU on missy? But generally speaking, Cancer men bitch to themselves, for they are the more optimistic of the two Cancer sexes. Cancer men are doot-dootin de doot kinda guys and if you can't figure that our for a poker face, that's YOUR problem pal. How could they NOT notice your zip-and-roll imagination and your goofy sense of humor? (Unless you're one of those poor Crabs that was battered one time to many by trust in your youth. Then you could end up very grumpy and unapproachable. (I'd still give it a try, on a sunny day (or was it a rainy day that dries up the Cancerian thundercloud mood cycle. Most Cancer men are just about the opposite of Cancer females in every way...well in every way that they aren't alike. They both love security. Give em security, a home and some good food and that's true love, you've got a baby for life. Don't worry, though. There are few men as attentive to the people they love as Cancer men are. In astrology, we say...Cancer cares, and they DO. They care soooo deeply..they want to hold you and protect you and keep you safe from harm. Take you down to the Ice Cream Parlor every Sunday and order a hot fudge Tuesday. It's one of the reasons that Cancer people are so fond of yesterday..it's outcome is certain. Cancer likes the tried and true, the worn path and will take the footbridge, rather than chance the boat with the small leak. Cancer doesn't like surprises! Nice surprises are nice, but not until the surprise part wears off and the food, presents or fun begin! Cancer is tender, and YES, Cancer is very much a feminine sign. Cancer women are said in astrology to represent Motherhood, Home and Childhood Memories...Just like the Moon which rules Cancer. Many men can't cry. Cancer men can..but only if they're sure you won't make fun of them, or make them feel weak for doing so. Sympathy is Cancer's cure all. Cancer wants and needs healthy doses of sympathy and understanding (even if you don't understand at all..sympathy and chicken soup.) Most Cancer folks will give the same...and then some. By the way, just because Cancer men are in touch with their feminine side does NOT mean that they are effeminate, weak or sissies. On the contrary, short of Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn or Aries..there are few signs as capable in a fight as Cancer. Cancer people have a fuse that eventually goes off...then BLAM! They'll only take so much unfairness or cruelty before they snap. But most don't..Cancer men are such pleasant characters...moody, but in a goofy, rolling-along through the melancholy sort of way. They are strong, resistant, durable, loyal, nurturing, careful conservatives who LOVE to go on short trips...as long as home is waiting for them at the end of the trip. They are careful with money. The men and women are usualy VERY gifted with plants of all sorts. They are ABSOLUTELY dead hooked on their Mothers. If she treated Cancer badly, he'll reflect wistfully and tearfully upon childhood, but, if such is possible, look with renewed hope for Mama's love and nurturing touch at the end of some future's rainbow. Cancer folks, genuinely like anything tied to the past: History, Antiques, Museums, Grandma's House! Strangely enough, I've noticed a strange tendency to COLLECT things. Both the men and the women, but mainly the men. I'm not talking about a junk drawer...I'm talking about a FULL garage, living room, or den. Maybe a storage unit somewhere. Just something I noticed...that's all. They say Cancer people tend to like green more than any other color, followed by browns. They also tend to prefer silver jewlery for wearing to gold..although gold is just fine for gift giving and payment rendered. (Nothing beats good old reliable munny though.) Cancer wants your loyalty...your trust and trustworthiness and Cancer wants...more than anything..your patient, tender care. Give Cancer a few years instead of a few months if you're looking for a relationship. They mellow with familiarity and trust. Ok I've rambled enough. 030916 ... oldephebe not bad Daf - I'd say in general terms you pretty much hit babout 75% of the old moody crabs (this one) persona and the genesis of my many quirks. I'm really horrible with house plants, but give me a garden, just a nice plt of ground and I'd have mason jars filled by the end of the seaon. Like I said you got a gift. I'd be very interested in checking out your book once it's on the market. I guess I'll have to check out the whole Libra woman thing on my own eventually - I've been involved with two so far..and ah it was exasperating, boy they can be mercurial, and volatile, and really set in stone once they've made up their mind about something - but the emotional intimacy I've eperienced with them was just POW! totally intoxicating, unfathomed and ah yeah thanks again ... 030917 ... oldephebe sure likes his shubert unhinged - listening to some of beethovens darker works always makes me feel this augery of ill tidings, like trajedy spreading itself wide, thundering down the road to rip me a new rectum or something..yeah too graphic..wait they want you to play in a quartet tomorrow and they haven't assigned you viola yet? bogus..how are you supposed to get any kind of acclimation or intimacy with the instrument and its distinctive character, its tendencies, its color and temperaments..especially the exposure of an intimate ensemble as the quartet you will have to endure..I'm sure you're excellent musician but still you should have some time to get aquainted with the instrument first..geez..just play every thing sotto voice..just kidding..you're resilient, maybe your intuition will overide everything else and you'll find yourself utterly immersed in the cascades of the musical colluquoy..and now it's time to march blithely forward later, ... 030917 ... unhinged well no sotto_voce playing for me today because we didn't actually rehearse *sighofrelief* but i have practiced the viola for over two hours today and barely have the first movement learned. stupid alto clef... but it's one of the best quartets in the literature...the dvorak 'american' do do do do do do do do do....yeah it doesn't come out right in do (s). plus i have a tiny hand for the violin so playing the viola is quite a stretch. and then trying to pick up the violin again...yeah, it sucks. first rehearsal is friday so i think i will be okay for the first movement and my brain is slowly getting acclamated to the clef. alto clef is weird when you've been reading treble pretty much your entire musical life; that whole family of movable c clefs is weird. my early music prof used to say that musicians in the renaissance could read all clefs all the time...miopic 21st century conservatory training. but i'm suppposed to be doing bibliography work. daf--- thanks for that stuff about cancer boys. most of it pretty accurate about my last boy. and it makes me want to call him because i've heard he's not been doing too well lately. but that's a sticky web... yeah, i'm loving the viola even for the monster bruise it's leaving on my neck and collarbone. i find myself being converted. 030917 ... oldephebe play me into my pain play me into a bruise give me somethin' i can use *oldephebe shudders at this latest abhorrent indulgence of rhyme scream* ... 030917 ... User24 hey, karl (or was it ferret, I always get you mixed up?) just told me you'd asked a question on project2501, as you can probally tell, I don't check it often, so I've copied my reply here, too: thanks, well you'd have to buy some server space and a domain name (not too expensive) but make sure you're the tag holder of the domain if you buy it from someone (otherwise they technically own it, not you) you'd also need a programmer to create the buying/selling part, and a designer profecient with some graphics package, eg Photoshop, and ideally some html knowledge, too (too often do designers create impossible designs that are way too hard to turn into html) and finally, you'd need to ask your bank manager how you can recieve payment across the net (or you could use worldpay or paypal) and you'd need someone to cut the designs up into html At least, that's the ideal, you can get away with someone who knows Photoshop, Dreamweaver (ugh...) and a little html, and they could whack a site together to integrate into worldpay in a few hours best bet is to ask a small but respectable company, for instance, my company would probally have charged less than £600 for something simple like that (I say 'would have', as we don't generally take small jobs on any more, or if we do, we charge too high to make it worthwhile on your part (that's not to say we overcharge, it's just that running costs are higher)) :) email me if you want to talk more (you've more chance of a speedy reply) blahblahblah (anything you like) @project2501.plus.com 030918 ... oldephebe will do once i evaluate your cursory and yet astute reccomendations w/r/t the parameters of my needs thank you 030918 ... soft grey purring kitten i still wanna curl up in your lap and sleep. 031003 ... oldephebe umm.. 031003 ... Dafremen I wish you weren't quite so skittish, friend. There are so many things I've wanted to share with you that just cannot be played out on these pages. But see, I don't have an email or IM address where I can reach you. (A trust and security thing, I suppose.) Still, I am Cancer Moon and so my innermost nature is loyal and true and my insides are tender by nature and tender-ized from the constant poundings of crueler sorts..and I CARE..oh so deeply I do. My curs-ed, blessing this Cancer Moon. Just wanting and wishing to reach out, that's all. 031011 ... oE I WILL EMAIL YOU THE INFO..BUT WAIT WE HAVE EXCHANGED A FEW EMAILS..YOU CAN STILL USE the one that you already have. I'm on there every day. 031011 ... Dafremen I will look...I don't believe I recalled that email. Oh, and no, I wasn't requesting your birth information. Just an email address, that's all. I'd quite forgotten that I had one. (I can be a bit scatterbrained like that...not very Cancerian in that respect, I'm afraid.) Daf P.S. I never insist on personal information...that's why it's called personal information. : ) I will look for your email now. 031011 ... oldephebe Aight brah. 031011 ... Dafremen Was it an email in reference to the brick story? Otherwise, I'm afraid it's not here...and I save ALL of my emails..memories, reminiscence and what not.. Would you mind emailing me something simple? You know...like..."Here! Now get off of my back!" : ) 031011 ... a thimble in time oldephebe - I enjoy your many musings and longer meditations. 031013 ... alice musings. it's hard to write on a theme. though i've never met the author oldephebe i enjoyed the first paragraph of this stream. and now... i can't explain... i need to say the word movie 031013 ... realistic optimist hi oE. just dropped in to say that the nick oE makes me chuckle but not in a yummy way, cuz olde english is nasty. 031013 ... User24 I enjoy your intellectual prowess, it's increasing my vocabulary, a gift which has dwindled over the years, thankyou for re-introducing me to the beauty of words. 031013 ... oldephebe 'ey much props back to everyone and ..er movie? sorry i haven't got much to say..I'm still bummed over the Eagles' loss thankyou everyone..alice, a thimble in time, RO(yeah old english is even more turgid than my serpentine soliloquys) (sp?)..U-24 that really means a lot coming from someone i consider leagues ahead of me in some things..daf.. later ... 031013 ... User24 grins. 031013 ... Perplexlypuzzled Wee! Lots of stuff to read! Just sorry my eyes cannot keep up. Best wishes to all. 031013 ... User24 how old are you not that it really matters 031015 ... Perplexlypuzzled Hahaha .. Old enough to know better than to put it up for the world to see. my e-mail is perplexlypuzzled@yahoo.com. You're more than welcome to e-mail me and ask me there. 031015 ... someone expand on what you said earlier please. I need support. I can't give a name because, aside from the fact that, unfortunately, my pride prohibits it, this site is compromised, hence my anonymity. 031027 ... oldephebe my friend..and forgive my presumption..the sky is crying great drops of shale today..so..mercurial and maudlin Me is not in a state of mind to speak oracularly or even coherently on anything for the remainder of the day..please be patient..i will have something for you by tommorrow..could you elaborate on the vibe you're swimming in right now? ... 031027 ... cryptic speech pattern #84 fading dreams, brother oE, I'm losing sight of already distant goals. I get the feeling you know the score, perhaps some 'extrospection' would do me no harm, and make a pleasant change from the intro version I'm so used to. 031027 ... Death of a Rose good night rocky river brother (because you have no choice in the matter). 031027 ... someone see breaking_point for some crap poetry and a warped view into the extremity of my emotion at this point in time. 031027 ... oldephebe cryptic speech pattern#84, someone or whoever you are..I haven't forgotten your poignant question..i was avoiding responding to it because of all the sympathetic reverberations it would illicit..expect something here by tomorrow..or maybe i'll put it on doar's blathe page of existential musings.. ... later..heartbrother 031029 ... some bloke or other it's not as serious as I make out; that's half the problem - a glimmering of a problem appears in my mind, and I twist it into all sorts of futures that it *may* produce- never looking at the most likely outcome, I assume worst case scenario in all cases.. either way, (and now I sound downright rude) I wasn't looking for your opinion on my predicament, I was interested in your response over at i_am_searching_for_people_with_souls (031027) so I was looking for an expansion of that - but if you're not comfortable sharing more then that's fine, I can totally understand that - it's the reason I'm staying anonymous (though by my writing style you can probally guess who I am) phew. that was convoluted. 031029 ... oldephebe nah you don't sound rude you are just trying to clarify your position/statement ..only an insecure or overly sensitive person would interpret it as such..we all have to make our arguments toward clarity and understanding of the other.. I had a feeling that it wasn't quite clear what you were asking..i guess i didn't probe adequately for particulars..or maybe i'm a little obtuse..as for your true blather identity..it makes no difference to me..now i'll go to that page and the date you cited and see if i can speak on it...thank you for clarifying everything for me.. peace... 031029 ... Death of a Rose just dropped in to post my bulletin board greeting....'skillzbrother' 031101 ... pipedream 'heartbrother' that's a pretty word, and a lovely thing to be. 031102 ... Bespeckled I want to see a picture of you. 040308 ... Bespeckled I want to see a picture of you. 040308 ... oldephebe god i am so neurotic i'd probably never get around to getting you one until i finish the professional site for the Autumn_Fire_CD_Project. Once that mercantile and preview site is up I will post a few pictures. Can't imagine why though anyone would at this point want a picture of me...but...whatever floats your boat.. ... 040310 ... white_wave whenever i see you name it makes think of "old phoebe". so for the longest time i thought you were a female. 040310 ... Toxic_Kisses Thank you for making me smile I realize it wasn’t intentional yet I think that’s why I liked it all the more again thank you 040310 ... oldephebe yeah white_wave - old ephebe = someone still riddled with echoes of post pubescent angst...i guess. TK - could you tell me what you were referring to? my memory is like a sieve sometimes..is this something recent? 040311 ... randomness brought to you by... the childs cries were an insistant and incessant series of high pitched shrieks of fury, gouging sharp sonic fissures into his really rigorously and Ohh..quite recently assembled reserve of patience - a Zen like non attached good will- so this young mans reservoir of parental acumen is severely tested, after he placates the baby with a prof-forma diaper change and some by the book tactile and auditory interface the now cherubic One settles back in the crib drifting somewhere between semi-consciousness and sleep *returns to winsome reverie of writing in diary sans the monacle* ... 040317 ... quotree "In promulgating your esoteric cogitations, or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable, philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness, a compact comprehensibleness, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations. Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and veracious vivacity, without rhodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolixity, psittaceous vacuity, ventriloquial verbosity and vaniloquent vapidity. Shun double-entendres, purient pscosity, and pestiferous profanity, obscurant or apparent." -Mark Twain i love ya, man. :) 040408 ... oldephebe *sets down Scotch - not the $65.00 a shot kind, laughs loudly into the wide empty room, his laughter lights the wick of his inebriated and now transient sense of euphoria, thereby resulting in hand fumbling with the decanter, ultimately knocking it over* I'll resist the temptation to ask if anyones got any scotchguard for my carpet. 040408 ... oldephebe Langue dans la joue 040408 ... pipers *is too busy laughing at quotree's lovely quote* 040409 ... oldephebe "quotree" - aw you dug up that little nugget just for me? I'm touched. I don't think my 2ply tissues will catch the surging tide building in the redenned rims of my eyes... *leaves to get some three ply Kleenex* 040410 ... randomrambler you truly are amazingly eloquent; pray; how did you become so? 040410 ... oldephebe yeah riiiiiight. Enjoy your saturday....eloquent? notme 040410 ... pipers nah, oE isn't eloquent. just wonderfully grandiosely verbal, that's all, in a would-make-the-Queen-smile kind of way. yeah. *puts burger king crown on oE's head* 040410 ... oldephebe Hey pd 040410 ... randomrambler i can wrap myself in your delicious vocabulary and dream delicate and poignant dreams.... i think you are eloquent thankyou for improving my day. 040410 ... oldephebe okay...thankyou..you're not so bad yourself... sometimes when the dark in me, tries to wrap itself around me, i hide in the cleft of rock and look for the face unqualified Love. I'm back from the end of my raggedy world, stumbling and spinning and finding those short-lived bursts of grace... time to go bathe my hands in the muses water again... ... 040410 ... oldephebe you're not TOO bad yourself :) 040410 ... u24 how are you? 040907 ... oE see: I_have_these_words how are YOU man? 041118 ... DannyH Please don't take this the wrong way Oldephebe, but having read quite a bit of your writing now I am fascinated by the massive divergence between your massive knowledge of vocabulary and your apparant unwillingness to create fully formed sentences. As a one time student of linguistics I'm fascinated by what sort of background could create writing of this type. So my questions are, how old are you and what sort of education have you had? 050712 ... oldephebe im scatter brained as far as the age i'm somewhere in between dafreman and dead the education? not so hot ... i'm incapable of coherence ... 050712 ... Chaos Unrealized A note from the door, it says: "Please call your nearest factory of poetry, a traveller in the mist, another doorway, makes things difficult without your prose." Reply to the advertised. 060705 ... deathofarose@gmail.com well oldephebe, it's time again to remember those lost in words, those that can't exclaim loud enough. It's been only a few lifetimes, since I've promulgulated (my lord & devious being) quite a few thoughts in your honour. E-mail me. 060906 ... somebody ?Donde fuiste, amigo? 060907 ... Keil You are the epitome of blather, a truly capable being of thought and word, intellect and stimulation. Your wit belies your more serious nature (on occation) and we laugh all the harder for it. We have all enjoyed your intensive soliloqies, just as we now enjoy celebrating them with you. Being a new member of blather at this time, I aspire to one day match the wisdom and experience you show in every blathe. You (although realizing it only every once in a while, if at all) are both an inspiration and a role model. This is also a tragedy for the realization comes to me that we value more our models than our role models. It is in this way that you were underappreciated. Still, even now, you remain so, for no one may even approach the resemblance of their true appreciation for your superb works. I wish to have a collection of all your blathes, so I will admit to stalking you more than a few times. I also admit I hardly posted for fear of disturbing the higher platform that you seen to tread upon. I believe we all need to "get well acquainted with our feminine side" as you afore mentioned. This holds true also with the opposing gender to stand firm when faced with opposing beliefs. Your lengthy posts are skipped by many, although they are the foremost of people who should be required to read. Now I relinquish this blathe back to the rest so that they too may show just how much we all admire and anticipate your poetry, prose, or whatever you wish to deem it as. Sincerely, 060907 ... Little Lost Riding Hood oldephebe my revered verbose playmate! How the devil are you? God I missed your tortured twisted and delicious monologues! I am back after 4 years - hope you are still around. Trying to find mistree too. 080206 ... Lemon_Soda I miss you. My vocabulary hasn't grown as much as I'd like without you. 080206 ... u25 i miss you too. i also want to know if you're a fan of frasier? your first order at cafe_blather reminds me muchly of niles. 080225 ... u24 you really do write beautifully, even if discerning your meaning requires some degree of effort from time to time, it is, on the whole, well worth it. 080504 ... u24 Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently: oldephebe@hotmail.com oh. 080504 ... Lemon_Soda COME BACK. 080812 what's it to you? who go blather from