gasping
silentbob caught myself in a room with music playing. i hadn't heard those songs in months. i had thought to myself, 'if i play this album i will be sad.' then i thought, 'it has no effect on me now. i have overcome.' so i didn't play it for that reason.
but then i heard it behind a locked door. and i was breathing heavily. and i put my head between my legs. and it all came flooding back. sitting in that room, in that chair, legs up.
i was there. i smelled the way her breath smelt after kissing, replayed the movies in my head of what it was like when this song played, or that song played, and what i did and what i said.
and how i closed my eyes.
and pretended to disappear.
040611
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