critical anomalous critizen 050508 ... sugar swear im cynical 050919 ... zeke good enough is not good enough 050919 ... Syrope i was excited about the exercise until we opened the packets. the "work style assessment" results were all positive. no matter which set you fell into, it was all good things. i need someone to tell me what's wrong with me. how i can make me better. i'm sick of praise. i'm tired of everything i halfheartedly hand over being heralded as the best anyone has ever seen, and things i actually TRY on getting the same treatment. there should be a difference in the reactions when i try and when i don't, but there isn't. instead of convincing me i should be proud of myself, help me become something that i can't deny i should be proud of. i'm dreading my midyear review for a different reason than everyone else is. 080716 ... tourist Eventualy I Arrived At A Place Where I Didn't Care What Others Thought Of Me, Only What "I" Thought Of Me. And Then I Cut Myself A LOT Of Slack. 080717 ... Doar Small things like thinking about how your skin is regressing from your bones. It's the small scars, but also the biggest scars that could make a person critical of others, of an entity. it seems i am shrinking, bone mass is waning and while i am afraid i am strangely not afraid. i observe my body losing slowly, and yet i am not afraid. after all i have left here, i have had soo much time within my own mind that i am not afraid to let go, let go of all of it all. let death present itself. can't say that it is scarier than trying to face any of you. listening to this sweet guitar, i am unafraid. 101206 what's it to you? who go blather from