sadhana_of_mahamudra unhinged hum_hum_hum im drowning in the muck of this dark age but still i aspire to see your face dorje_trolo with the anger that cleanses all impurities the sword that cuts through all the bullshit hum_hum_hum with nothing left to count on drained of all hope because hope has proven futile to you i supplicate myself anger without hate powerful indeed hum_hum_hum 130727 ... unhinged every new moon every full moon two months running breathe_in breathe_out 130809 ... unhinged it is shifting things in me with regular practice 130824 ... unhinged i missed it yesterday for the first time in months. i went out, got dinner, went to the busstop, and then my cramps kicked me and i knew i would only focus on the pain so i turned around and went home 130906 ... unhinged harvest moon pisces moon the hair on my arms stood up tears came to my eyes supplication surrender daring renunciate separateness 130919 ... unhinged he came with me and he loved it. he wants to know when the next one is. leo moon seeker moon i might have found a good one. one that i can flex my self muscles with and see how they look. one that appreciates and even practices my spirituality with me. one that has told me he appreciates my imagination. we expand our heartminds together. what an awesome feeling. hum_hum_hum 140214 ... flowerock heartminds is a new word to me which I love. thanks for bringing it out of letters. 140214 ... unhinged you're_welcome but i cant take the credit. i got it from shiva_rea and her radiant_heart_yoga dvd 140215 ... unhinged protector_deity pagan - tibetan vajrayana new_moon_coming hum_hum_hum 140426 ... unhinged today is a full moon, full moon in cancer, very nurturing and overly sensitive. i am getting new_ink based on the sadhana today; cosmic incidence. the moon is on track to have sadhana practice coincide with monday nights for awhile which means i can actually go. everyday i find new avenues of my life that this practice has affected. everyday i am grateful to live in a place where i can practice with little to no impediment. as i delve into the lineage of this practice, i am awed and inspired by the sacrifice that spans millennia, that has allowed me to find my true self. that my intuition has always been strong and guided me to the right place at the right time. oh great guru thank you thank you thank you for giving me the strength to believe in myself finally completely i have no other need than your protection and guidance i will make it thank you 150104 ... unhinged this excerpt from the sadhana was the part that inspired me to practice it regularly. when i found this in a book of trungpa_rinpoche s poetry, it was titled supplication. maybe all sadhana practices have a supplication? Supplication O Karmapa, lord and knower of the three times, O Padmakara, father and protector of all beings, You transcend all coming and going. Understanding this, I call upon you --- Give thought to your only son. I am a credulous and helpless animal Who has been fooled by the mirage of duality. I have been fool enough to think that I posses my own projections, So now you, my father, are my only refuge, You alone can grasp the buddha state. The glorious copper-colored mountain is within my heart. Is not this pure and all-pervading naked mind your dwelling place? Although I live in the slime and much of the dark age, I still aspire to see it. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see it. The joy of spontaneous awareness, which is with me all the time, Is not this your smiling face, O Karma Padmakara? Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see it. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see it. At glorious Taktsang, in the cave Which can accommodate everything, Samsara and nirvana both, The heretics and bandits of hope and fear Are subdued and all experiences Are transformed into crazy wisdom. Is not this your doing, O Dorje Trolo? Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see your face. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see your face. The corpse, bloated with the eight worldly concerns, Is cut into pieces by the knife of detachment And served up as the feast of the great bliss. Is not this your doing, O Karma Pakshi? Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see your face. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see your face. In the boundless space of non meditation He who performs the great dance of mahamudra Puts a stop to thoughts So that all acts become the acts of the guru. Is not this your doing, O Tusum Khyenpa? Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see your face. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see your face. When the current of thoughts is self-liberated And the essence of dharma is known, Everything is understood And apparent phenomena Are all the books one needs. Is not this your doing, omniscient Mikyo Dorje? Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see your face. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see your face. The kingdom of no-dharma, free from concepts Is discovered within the heart. Here there is no hierarchy of different stages And the mind returns to its naked state. Is not this your doing, O Rangjung Dorje? Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see your face. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see your face. The father guru, the embodiment of all the siddhas, Is all-seeing and all-pervading. Wherever you look, his transparent body is there, And the power of his blessing can never be diminished. Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see his face. Although I stumble through the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see his face. Living, as I do, in the dark age, I am calling upon you, because I am trapped In this prison, without refuge or protector. The age of the three poisons has dawned And the three lords of materialism have seized power. This is the time of hell on earth; Sadness is always with us And unceasing depression fills our minds. The search for an external protector Has met with no success. The idea of a deity as an external being Has deceived us, led us astray. Counting on friends has brought nothing But sorrow and insecurity. So now I have no other refuge But you, Karma Pakshi, the lotus-born. Think of us poor, miserable wretches. With deep devotion and intense longing I supplicate you. The time has come for you to around yourself and do something. The tradition of meditation is waning And intellectual arguments predominate. We are drunk with spiritual pride And seduced by passion. The dharma is used for personal gain And the river of materialism has burst its banks. The materialistic outlook dominates everywhere And the mind is intoxicated with worldly concerns. Under such circumstances, how can you abandon us? The time has come when your son needs you. No material offering will please you So the only offering I can make Is to follow your example. hum_hum_hum 150104 ... unhinged oh this tat is beautiful 150104 ... lialei thank you. *wipes tears copying and keeping. 150530 ... unhinged you're_welcome imagine chanting it with a room full of people. the full moon is on tuesday. find a shambhala center near you and check their event calendar, if the sadhana_of_mahamudra is scheduled. check it out. i think it is transformative. 150530 ... NOW money is confusing some people believe money gives freedom it's not contributed to winning any war though. you need to invest your time and then request money later on. how about NOW? or shall i go through a difficult process trying to get a controversial book published and do it myself? please can i borrow some money though so i can go to France for a few months. 150531 ... get fucked. how you treat a person is reflective to yourself, if you speak to children as thought they are beneath you with no worldly experience, they aren't likely to stick around or even bother to visit you when you are old. 150531 ... amy in red maybe_she_thought_i'd_money 150531 ... amy in red blue jew The controversial book won't get published without anyone to believe in its writer, so write it for yourself . See? No money. There are other people and these people have to believe. No one will physically even verbalize that they believe in me, to talk about my experience. They say "you have to believe in yourself and do it first" the mean life approach. This means there is a very high chance no publishing, either, without the friend types and angel investors. So why write a whole book? Only for creativity's sake... People resort to ageism with children because they don't want to get beat up by their children who they need to provide food and shelters. Parents who treat adult children as know nothings lack imagination & are scared of the future, which does look scary, but these baby boomers, as always could try growing up and not obsessing about children for once. Everyone deserves to go to a foreign country! The thread was too beautiful and taken away to another country. 150531 ... dafremen good riddance. more likely: they will move back in with you and bitch to their friends that YOU are ruining THEIR life by continuing to breathe. 150531 ... unhinged class is really deepening my understanding charnel_ground compassion 151201 ... unhinged ok rinpoche i believe you there is power here the irritation runs deep these days as me and craig walked to his truck there were a few moments of calm i was attuned to the still point within i have been so angry recently that i wanted to break things but there was a moment of calm there is energy in this that is too hard to put into words 160111 ... unhinged no matter the sins of the leader, i will still respect and practice in my lineage 180807 ... unhinged i have avoided practice ever since we broke up....what is that pointing to? my fear of being wrong? my habit of isolation in the face of pain? hhhhmmmm hum_hum_hum 191109 what's it to you? who go blather from