erin eternities are going by until u think of me ,pick up the phone and call ,god damnit!

*I always do this if he doesnt call or does its a test of if he loves me...i am pathetic*
Syrope don't try to look into my eyes
because i know you don't care...
when our eyes do meet, the anger in mine threatens to fall away and show you anyway. if i hurt, at least it means i still feel.
but i don't want you to see.
i'm not something for you to inspect and pronounce unfit. i don't need that - i do it enough.
staring at something nonjudgemental, and that might defend me for a change, like my fork...the melting ice cube in my glass...the tiny stenciled letters on my keyboard...anything but into your eyes, is the only way to be alright.
seeing me breakdown would mean too much to you. i refuse to let my pain be your entertainment.
girlnamedlover homeland insecurity 030216
no reason but i'm more secure about it

which helps fight it
and kill it

paradox of sorts

or just let it dissolve
and drown
in a pool of apathy
lunchy It’s killing me inside, the negative words in my brain. 031018
phil connotation 040324
bum bum olivia insecurity is my greatest fault, hands-downm because it leads to all the other ones. namely jealously, which is way up there.

i'm insecure about my body. my intelligence. my future. i don't think i'm good enough, so i hate this random girl that he knows just because he liked her before he liked me, because he talks about her a lot. the phrase "just friends" does nothing to soothe my overactive brain.

i hate being insecure. it messes school up, too. i never talk. this is no fun.

and yet sometimes i'm the most arrogant bitch around. i can't decide if it's a good thing that that seems to be the only side of me that some people notice.
jeudi I was feeling fine and strong and certain about myself. And then I overheard him talking to another woman and I went up in flames. He has no real idea of how far I fell in that moment. This has felt so good and I just hate this turn of events. He has been such a dear. So sweet, so strong, so funny, and I thought all mine. My baby.... 051214
megan just make me feel wanted
ItooktheirsmilesandImadethemmine. When we let go of the notion of others as a possession of our own. We rid ourselves of jealousy.

If we are jealous, it is because we perceive qualities in others, often imagined which we hold to be superior to our own.

See the qualities in yourself which are so much more to those important to you than any others could ever be, from anyone else.
hsg -feeling that something can be separated from you.

not to worry though: you can only lose bullshit.

"how do you deal with insecurity-", i once asked a friend. he says, im_secure_with_my_insecurity.
what's it to you?
who go