remote silentbob Well, now Louis knew he was going to die. As soon as he saw the horseman brandishing his great ax he knew it was over for him. But…maybe there was one more chance. He jumped out of the way right in the nick of time. Then he snatched out his Hyper- Remote which could do almost anything besides take him back to the Real World. He pushed the levers up to full blast then functioned the tiny monitor to the ax-bearing horseman and flipped the switch. The horseman exploded in a mass fury of flaming gas. Ever since he had been trapped in this odd universe that he kept flipping about from deadly planet to deadly planet, he had had more of an open mind for things. Like, what to do in case of an emergency with a horseman with an ax or a giant alien scorpion rattle snake. He had to do different things with his super-remote to get out of the jams of this universe. Like that trick he pulled with the horseman. Louis ran through the muck, hoping that was the major risk of this world. Suddenly….a giant creature of which he’d never known the likes of especially in this crazy universe leapt out from the mist. Louis didn’t know whether this was the end for him. All he could think about was that day he stepped into the mysterious little magic shop that was only up for a day before it went down again. He had stepped in and instead of a little bell ringing he heard a scream. He looked around and the man behind the counter said, "Don’t be afraid, child. I just need to know if there is someone in the shop while I’m in me back room." Louis nodded and looked around the shop. He saw bits and balls and strange little objects of which he’d never seen the likes of. He was especially interested in an ancient artifact which appeared to be just a simple box…except it was gold and had sacred bindings on it, with weird little designs and switches that might have opened up and been really cool when the shopkeeper said, "May I help you, child?" Louis was afraid. He’d never been more afraid in all his life. And what scared him worse was that he didn’t know why he was so scared. It was like that time…oh never mind. I’m babbling again. On with the story! "Uh…" he said. "No…I’m…only looking." The man nodded when he was done talking to him. Then the old shopkeeper asked, "Is there anything you’re looking for, any particular item that might worth something to you?" He shook his head to the shopkeeper and he said to Louis, "What do you like to do?" Watch TV naturally, what other American kid doesn’t like to watch TV? He told the shopkeeper this and the shopkeeper smiled and raised his arthritic hand and smiled as he went into the back room. "I’ve just the thing, me boy!" When he came out he sported the remote control which could do anything. Even get him into a big mess as big as the one he was in. He told Louis it would do anything for him. Like having supernatural powers only…with a machine. A remote control. Anyone who likes TV likes his remote control. And this didn’t only change the channel. After he paid the man $22.50 and a pack of "tabacki" he showed Louis what would happen if he pushed the little silver button. So Louis had pushed it and little did he know at the time that the shopkeeper had pushed the red button twice before pushing the silver button and so when Louis pushed the silver button he was transported to another dimension. And he didn’t know how to get out. So he had started randomly pushing buttons and he was flipping to different planets in the new universe. And soon the only way he could leave was if he performed a certain task. And sometimes it would be a hard task and sometimes it would be an easy task. He had started figuring out what would happen if you push this button…or that button while this switch is on and things like that. But he still didn’t know how to get home. And if he did get home he would have to get at least a couple of punches out of the little old shopkeeper. That’s why there wasn’t a no refund sign on the wall; he just killed you or made you disappear. And now he was facing this giant thing and all he knew was that it was getting closer. It started to rain. And the rains here were not water. They were blood. It rained blood and snowed ashes. Louis pushed a small black button between a green button and a greenish blue switch. A sword appeared in his hand. He fought the good fight with whatever it was and he soon flipped to the next world. It was Earth. He had flipped home. Every time he flipped he turned black and kind of faded out like a radio station or a TV channel. And he reappeared home. It was 74 degrees out and it was sunshiney and everything. It was beautiful. It was so great to be home. He ran into his house and lived with his family. He told them what had happened and they told him they had missed him. He said,"All I want to do now is kick the crap out of that little shopkeeper." His father bowed his head in shame. "I don’t know how to tell you this, son." He said. "That man packed up and moved out the same day he came in. The same day you disappeared." "Then I must find him! I will seek my life trying to find him until I get at least one good punch in!" he cried. "Well you’ll be searchin’ an awful long time because he was a seller of magic. He’s probably on one of those happy little planets in the other dimension you talked about." His sister said. 13 years later he moved into his little apartment uptown from the pet shop in Burbank. He was all settled in when he decided to peer out the window. He saw the little shop! It was called, "Magic in Little Treasures" or something unusually tacky like that. He dashed down the street and ran into the store. "Welcome back, child. I knew you’d make it." He said to Louis. "I know what you want." He handed Louis, now 27 with massive upper body strength, the little remote control. And that shopkeeper was almost dead when they carried him out. Louis could barely keep his fists down and the blood was everywhere! Later on he found out the little shopkeeper wasn’t pressing charges. He went back to his apartment when he suddenly felt uneasy. His skin was turning black and he was fading away. Suddenly he was on a dark, lava planet. He looked all over. Where was he? "Where am I?" he asked the first man he saw. "Where are you?" The man asked with a harsh voice. "You’re in Hell, boy." Someone faraway laughed maniacally. Why was he here? Then he knew. He had completed his task for that planet. And it was time to move on. The End 000721 ... Agent008 you know how far away that tv is? 010118 ... Zeke heard from a dream in the distance as with a seashell by the shore under my towel lieing down the surf tilts the land down in endless cycle of drift of soft grasses banging together 031117 what's it to you? who go blather from