penis
sage rhymes with venus, and not much else. 980827
...
big say hello to Mr. Happy 980902
...
daxle of all words for "it", I don't know why this one seems to be the most embarrasing 990416
...
stephen This penis the only one I have... 990502
...
David Curse or blessing? The only thing that defines masculinity. Am i a man without my penis? Does my size effect my self-worth? Sometimes i want to lop it rite off and watch my squirmy flesh hit the floor as i become a-sexual, niether man nor woman. Devote my life to a higher being that lets me lop off my penis and enters me through the gates of heaven. It's only an organ, not even an important like a lung or kidney. 990924
...
h8r i like to call my penis "the bad man." and during my collegiate years i was known to murmur to various young ladies...

"Make the bad man spit. Make the bad man spit."

They didn't think it was as funny as i did. 		990924
...
Renee Penises are ugly. 990924
...
fucker Pussy !!!!!!!
o- +o 		991104
...
erin Penises are very funny looking! 991109
...
PenisBoy
My Penis is large. 		991113
...
deion the smaller the penis the bigger the truck 991208
...
kari why the penis obsession. i find penis here with 12 comments and clitoris with one. i LIKE the clitoris. it's worthy of more attention. hop over to the clitoris for a while, baby. 991209
...
sink daddy mold grows between my toes.

i'm so glad i don't walk with my penis. 		991210
...
troy Penises are NOT ugly (Renee)! Although some are a bit deformed; -which admittedly makes those particutlar Penises a bit grotesque (but not any more-so than a loose&flabby vaginal-fold hanging out of a squating Porno Magazine Centerfold Model).
Calling people's body-parts UGLY is a very UGLY thing to do.
Classic Nude Sculpture considers the Human form beautiful. It doesn't attempt to cover-up the "ugly-parts" that uptight people (perhaps such as you?) find so offensive.
PENISES RULE!!! 		991229
...
meli A penis is tab B; it goes into slot A. Tab B enables tab B people to be able to pee unobtrusively wherever they want to.

I so envy that! Slot A people can't do it without their ass hanging out and looking absolutely undignified.

Penises are not ugly, but they can look kind of sad and shy sometimes. 		000105
...
Brad What are you talking about Sage...? Also rhymes with 'seen us' 'wean us' 'genus...' 000309
...
BoofPixie a kind of vulnerable, ridiculous thing. 000309
...
Q ? is the teaching of biology allowed in mississippi? 000310
...
AnrkySixD9 Confucious say: rub, rub squirt 000325
...
el chorizon women accuse men of thinking with their dicks...

hell, when i was younger...i let it think for me 		000430
...
iwanttolickyourclit Rubbing your your penis is masturbation.
Fingering is masturbation too.
Should they have different words? 		000506
...
marjorie penis!
the rallying cry is heard!
the troops charge!
"penis!" they cry
"penis!"
wasn't much of a war though. 		000520
...
WoNDERGIRL it's hard to pretend it's an ice cream cone
when it doesn't much taste like one 		000521
...
emily i wish i could have on--just for a day...i know it's lame, but i'm curious as to what it would be like.... 000602
...
not a perv. "k what a lovely subject "k you peverts!! bye!!! 000610
...
big heads wow~ok umm I have a big penis and I love it to death!!! Ha Ha & penises are not ugly they are infact insesual to manlyhood~they are gods greatest creation!!! (I'm not gay)I just find it so good feeling to rub it and shit like that!!! 000610
...
moonshine ugh, dont even wanna discuss this. I just got yelled at for making a bannana split, it was too BIG. Put it away , keep it away from me. 000611
...
stan Venus...what else would it rhyme with? 000804
...
stan And only the cleanest, leanest, penis for Venus! 000804
...
stan you'll never wean us off this subject 000804
...
stan and poor venus...she is not armed! 000804
...
kaskarkaminski (but hopefully kharmed) 000804
...
Zatumushgir Why am I reminded of Dangerous Beauty? *goes off to practice deep throating a bananna* 000831
...
mka mine's big enough 001113
...
j_blue big ones are fun, but not to do everything with...

normal is best, but i have heard girls prefer girth, but whatever 		001113
...
Barrett I believe it is best to say that yours is small. Therefore, no disappointment, only pleasant suprise. 001113
...
barnaclebill There was a midshipman from Kent,
Who's cock was so limber it bent.
To save him the trouble
He'd shove it in double.
So instead of cuming
He went! 		001113
...
j_blue nice limmerick, and good stratejy barrett. i think the best thing to do is be honest. i like it when people say its small though. 001113
...
Luke everything you ever wanted to know.... but were afraid to ask
http://www.the-penis.com 		001228
...
rain4erin I seriously think they are ugly why couldnt they be attractive or something 010118
...
peyton God gave man two heads, but only the blood to think with one at a time.

Just my two cents. :) 		010121
...
deb peyton peyton peyton

couldn't have put it better 		010121
...
beth Try saying "Penis" without smiling.....such a beautiful concept but "penis" doesn't do it justice! I think COCK suits that strong hard head just fine! 010208
...
beck uhhh.....im looking fo the mutha fuckin amy lase page i hear that she is hot like her grandma. or is it your mom. oh well it all smells the same. 010301
...
johnny west Exactly.
Penis comes between us/ween us/green puss.
Why the big fuss?
It's just a little floppy thing that spits.
But when you rub it, it sings! 		010308
...
mikey i love mine. i mean i REALLY LOVE mine. i LOOOOOOVE mine.

its good to me and im good to it.

i call mine "godzilla"..as a joke.

and no its not huge. mines average. in fact im secure enough to even do the unthinkable thing for a man. mines 6.5" and its perfectly round.well not "round".good girth maybe is the word? its straight! mines perfect for me. frankly id hate to be 5'7-5'8" and have some massive thing hanging around. 		010308
...
Robert Penis, what a penis, It drives me, leads me it's average, I swear I never measured. Uncut, cut. How long. How wide. 010407
...
johnny west A girl once asked me how large my penis was: "How large is it soft and how large is it hard?" I told her I had no idea. She handed me a ruler and asked me to measure myself in a washroom. I politely refused. She then asked me if I masturbated regularly. We continued like that in a circular fashion for quite some time. Size, Measure, Shower. Size, Measure, Shower. Ad nauseum.

"And what do you like to think of when you masturbate?" Seaweed, actually. That always perks me up. Or dried fruit. Either one. 		010407
...
dudl the other night on Saturday Night Live, one of the actresses screwed up a line that was supposed to be inuendo, saying "Peener" instead of "Weener" 010408
...
yoink who invented that word?
what if a desktop meant penis and penis was actually the word for a desktop?

peeing all the while 		010426
...
simon hey girls, dont u wanna to play with my penis, longest of sandiago? email me for real play .. freefire11@yahoo.com 010602
...
Josh the root to all happenis 010804
...
unhinged i feel like i will always be competeing with them for you. "there are only two men left on the earth that i would fuck." doesn't help that one of them is mike. so i'm head over heels in love with two people that fuck each other but don't want to have anything to do with me other than being friends. AAAAAHHHHHHHH

if i wasn't such a goddamn female libra. 		010804
...
Storm Seeing this page made me curious. I measured my little guy just now, to realize that its not really so little anymore. Not that, the last time, I checked up on it, it was little but it's, um, over average now. Im 16 I guess it needs to grow still but its 8 1/2 inches long. I'm really quite proud.
Yes sir, this is the type of thing that'll really get you happy, yes sir! 		010805
...
as who said that? 010901
...
unhinged "dude i know why girls turn lesbian. they get those fucking crooked penises and they never want to have anything to do with that every again so they figure they will go for the chicks that are sensitive AND know where their stuff is" 010902
...
yourmom another dirty word 010927
...
F. Brice Frankly, I was shocked with how freaking big it was. I could hardly open my mouth wide enough to get around it, and even when it was tickling my tonsils I still had to use my whole hand to work the shaft. Now THAT was a cock. Damn. It was thrilling to watch that guy masturbate.

Too bad he was such a lousy lay. 		010927
...
Toxic_Kisses Sage - Theres a road in my town called "Enis" 011011
...
translucent fuckin' a, im 15 and like 9 inches. imagine me when im like 20, im gonna me like 11 inches or so. hell yeah, something to look forward to. 011012
...
translucent i could grow 6 inches in a year... its conceivable... 011012
...
nanny a penis. ok. nice topic, i'll go with it. cover your virgin eyes (if they are indeed still virgin).

ok, i, being a bisexual woman, have this amazingly abnormal obsession with penis's. it's not like i'm a slut or anything, i just want to see them all the time. and i'm not just talking in porn either. up close, in front of me. who knows what might happen to it.

so i'm a bit concieted on this point, and not like ya'll wanted to know this. but i'll tell you anyways. i went down on this guy a couple weekends ago. i figure hell, if i can cum, so can he. lol. anyways.. and i've never really done that too much, cuz i have this mental block about blow_jobs. remember in middle school when you learned sex-ed, and they showed you the video's of how everything is supposed to be? well in the video i saw, the sperm had little snorkles and were smiling. now tell me. being 12 years old and seeing this, you've got to understand why i'm scared for life.

ok, back to where i was. so i went down on this guy, and i told him my three rules of me giving head. which would be....

1. don't push
2. don't pull
3. don't cum in my mouth

easily put. ok, back to my point. so i did my thing, and being that i am not too expierenced in this area, and the fact that i'm well known for asking all the stupid and out in the open questions, i asked him

me "was it good?"
him "what?"
me "did you enjoy it?"
him "are you kidding?"
me "no, i don't think that i'm very good at it."
him "you just don't know."
........ ok, so now i'm thinking that i was the worst blowjob that he's ever had. so i say...
me "honestly, tell me what i can do to make it better."
him "that was the best blow job i've ever gotten, by far. you beat any other by leaps and bounds."

ok, so i was all concieted, and we talked about it for a while, and i ended up doing it again, just to make sure i knew what i was doing. lol.

ok, and i'm sure that no one read this whole thing, but that's why i have this obsession with penis's now. i want to be able to please them, to make them feel better. 		011114
...
nanny wow i wrote a lot! 011114
...
ilovepatsajak hahahaha that was funny 011115
...
inferiority_complex i miss his

it was nice, nicer then they usually are

i didnt know how bad they could get, but when you rob an experience of passion, it loses the attraction

god i miss his, i miss him 		011115
...
me my favorite treat =) 011124
...
ClairE Beth, I say penis all the time without smiling.

Although I love them.

Man, it's funny.

I also sometimes wish_I_had_a_penis. 		011127
...
ClairE I miss him, too, inferiority_complex. 011128
...
bzzmel i've started shouting out penis and other naughty words to my parents, they dont think it's as funny as i do. 011206
...
girl mmm.....penis
this is truely a goofy sounding word but an awesome organ..
ive noticed a pattern about then with body types and ive had several ppl agree here (but every once in a while there is an exception)
tall skinny boys TYPICALLY have very large penises
shorter broader boys TYPICALLY have small(er) penises
and the taller broad boys also have small(er) penises
i, personally like the larger penises but since they are rarer i prefer not to get too used to them, otherwise its harder to enjoy an average one.

..nanny, i liked your story...(i learned to do those things on a guy with a very large penis so now if i do it on an average size guy i seem much better at it because i can can do fun things that are harder to do to large ones)

...ok i NEED to stop talking ...i could write a book on my thoughts about penises

...like how i would like to have one for a day and pee wherever i like, and stuff

...yeah...im done now... 		011218
...
Fire&Roses i don't like the word at all. Of all the words there are this is my least favorite. I have only recently discovered them but i love it. I find it cute and i love the way it feels. I have decided it has all the requirements to make a great toy:
... it moves (it can move all by itself)
... it's soft (even erect it's not bony)
... when you push it's button it moves

Also recently I have discovered the blow job. Interestingly I like it. I have no idea why. I'm not sure how good I am at it, but I'm afraid to ask so it shall remain a mystery. 		011219
...
betherin isn't awfully nice to have a penis?
isn't frightfully good to have a dong?

Penis is ond of the funnest words to say!!!!!! 		020328
...
betherin ONE of the funnest words to say 020328
...
Fli on Peni So many penises *or is it peni?),
So little time..... 		020329
...
blown cherry You guys make me laugh!

I always find it kinda wierd when I touch a new one, they're all so different, but they're still fun to play with!

I was never particularly fond of the blow job til I met one particular boy... and then I could neve give enough.
I miss that, I seriously doubt there wil be anyone I'm so hungry to go down on again.



Aaah, I love Monty Python...
(thanks for reminding me betherin)




Penis Song (a.k.a. The Not Noël Coward Song)

THE PENIS SONG
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back. 		020329
...
kerry i hate that word!! 020330
...
gumbo for yo momma i say masturbate if you want but damn if you dont go blind when the jizz gets you in the eye. we squirt, you squirt! suck my big penis in a deep dank corner!ARG! 020427
...
"Ancient Pagan" See Blather's 'phallus' or 'phallic' section for some moralization of this spectacular spiritual/physical organ. There are statues of large penisis infront of medical buildings & anthropological assertions to be found in that Blather Section.

In Ancient Rome & Greece peni were believed to have positive spiritual & fortune-strengthening powers, thus hanging decorative metal peni over buildings and erecting public penis monuments were commonplace. Also in those cultures (as in most) nudity had a proper function & philosophy and was not considered wrong. How matters have degraded!

Also, why is the 'clitoris section' so seldom visited at Blather? 		020502
...
K.R. I want to pose a serious question and I want the next person to make an entry to answer it: Did Adolf Hitler have a penis? A panel of scientists and historians have held this to question: something to do with a secret boyhood circumcision gone wrong or something...but I don't fully understand. According to his housekeepers, who always checked his bedsheets, although Hitler's and Eva Braun's bedrooms were adjoined neither ever had sex together. I better check my library but does anyone out there know? Next 'blatherer' please anwser below: 020502
...
_m0ney_Herculitus so powerful and magnificent, i want to taste you, i want to remove all doubt, i want to run free in the window for everyone to see, the closet was so cramped, it was not me. penis set me free. 020508
...
_m0ney_Octane When i look at you it becomes obvious what i desire most. I tried selfishless to keep you out of my life, i tried to fit in with society, i tried so hard to deny that which i love so much. Only with the passing of time do i gain the strength and courage to accept you, and accept myself. I love you penis. 020508
...
_m0ney_d00rs Why do you demand such attention? it's not you that i respect, you are just the innocent messanger of my darkened desires. You take center stage and the glory, to me you are just a tool. You help me acheive my abrupt pleasure. The anus is my true hero, the anus rubs you in ways i never could. Do not dilute yourself with misinformation penis, you are not my hero. you are not my hero. 020508
...
US_Torment *steps up to the microphone*
I have an announcement to make. I'm asian and have a small penis *the room all claps their hands and nods* I used to deny this fact. "No , not I..i was an exception to being Asian with a small penis" I wanted to be like Jerome and Tyrone with their enormous members but i couldn't. I finally come before you all as i have come to the fact and realization that i am no longer ashamed of being small down there. I'm Asian have a small penis! My 2 inches of fury shall reign forever! 		020508
...
gatorbabe testes, testes. one two... three?! 020509
...
Syrope i dont understand the insecurities...i got over my breast insecurities a long time ago lol a naked breast is a good breast. guys dont really seem to care unless i cared and was all selfconscious (sp?). i'm happy with the ones i've come in contact with, and they were all strikingly different as far as length, girth, curve, etc go...if i like the guy i'm gonna like his cock. if i don't like him, i can be more judgemental. which is why my ex boyfriends should watch their backs...just kidding! :) 020612
...
J burn your penis in the microwave.
stick holes in it with a fork so it wont explode.bitch. 		020826
...
donald pagina one time this magazine wanted to write some fucked up article about how large my horsecock was..and i was like...what the fuck man thats MYYY horsecock. mind your own penis business. bitch! 020829
...
cresentwhench PENIS: Not just for breakfast anymore!!! YUMMY 020930
...
kdieh ? 021001
...
Zed I'm often told that the penis looks silly, or that it isn't very attractive.
I think that it is sad that the female body is worshipped by all while the male body is almost feared.
I saw a film the other day in a cinema and it had a brief shot of a penis in it. The audience fell about laughing - some of them embarassed women, others grown men probably laughing to prove they are not gay.
It is a shame that something as beautiful and natural as a naked body can cause such a reaction. 		021110
...
p2 you sound like
a master debator 		021111
...
jessicafletcher i love sex. i really could live on it as a healthy diet. 021210
...
megan i have a friend who has a penis and ovaries. he has boobs too. but he has all the masculine outer parts. he's one of the nicest people you'd ever meet. beat that ya'll. :) 021211
...
Arugula Red Ya want some humping? Some pumping? A thrash from the throbbin bag of blood? 021211
...
Neal Boortz It would seem that the Neal Boortz bobblehead doll has attracted the interest of a young Afghan girl in Kabul. Also, if you could see the enlarged picture you would note that his golf club is broken. Probably the work of the Taliban who outlawed golf and cancelled the PGA Tour stop in Afghanistan when they took over. 021212
...
pontifier I remind those around me to thank god as the say their prayers at night that I don't have a 10 inch penis. Because if I did, I would torment them to an early grave.

They would lose weight from loss of interest in food due to the constant image of my baseball bat sized penis in their face all day, everyday. When you think the day is done, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the wheel of your car, don't look up, because you will see the penis shaped clean spot left across your windshield, a silhouette where I last laid my 10 incher.

A man can settle an argument that the earth is flat by whipping out his 10 incher and taunting the opposed to the point of instant defeat. It's the be all end all of any disagreement. That being said, the pain one must endure sharing his soul with a 4 incher.

I'm not interested in deceiving you about the size of mine. It's a hair shy of the 6 inch marker, but like I said remember my penis in your prayers. 		021226
...
Kevin Beautiful, warm, soft & hard at the same time, and wet at the end if you give it attention long enough.

I'm a boy, I'm straight, and I have a GF.

But if you asked me, I'd make love to yours with my mouth for hours, and I'd swallow. And GOD I'd love it. 		021231
...
a *sings* one of these things is not like the other... 021231
...
stretch57 You can shake it,
you can tap it,
you can bang it on the wall!
But...
You never can get that last drop. 		030102
...
flipchrist Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore. 		030324
...
joe so long, so strong, down to get the friction on, so ladies 'yah' ladies 'yah' wanna get in my mercedes? 030412
...
niska yeah! 030412
...
quef

shaved

penis's

are attractive...... 		030514
...
Fire&Roses I have recently decided to change the word penis to the word SHMOOPIE.

Penis sounds odd wrinkled or deformed
while shmoopie sounds cute and fuzzy

I LIKE SHMOOPIES 		030608
...
Hornier than ever I wish i had gotten some when i could, no i yearn for some kind of friction, some kind of pleasure from below 030609
...
Isaac I hate my penis... it can be such a dick sometimes. 030923
...
ashamed im just 14 mine is only 4 1/2 inches. is this normal? its probly too short im sopposedly in the middle of puberty im overweight does being smart shorten its growth? so many questions so many insecurities only way to feel better by masterbating every day im pathetic i know but hey what are you going to do? 031112
...
jake uncontrolable 031118
...
thespacebetween shmoopie!!!!
ooo i love it
i hate penisis
(or is it penisi?)
but shmoopies on the other hand... 		031129
...
me you know, crooked penises may not look so hot, but sometimes are best for hitting the beloved g-spot. 031129
...
celestias shadow shmoopie is an excellent word. *mental note to self* Penis, on the other hand, is probably the most ridiculous word in the English language. I didn't say the thing itself was ridiculous (although I have never thought that they were the prettiest part of a guy's body), just the word.

Try yelling 'penis' sometime in a crowded room. My friend Elsa did this, kind of accidentally, in bio class last week. My teacher just stared at her as everyone burst out laughing. It was great. It's just such a funny word.

By the way, what IS the plural of 'penis'? I prefer to think that it is 'penii'. Don't correct me, I like it this way. 		031130
...
elsa A: hey elsa?

me: PENIS?

class: hahahha

teacher: *snicker* hey!

me: wait.. what? 		031207
...
Chris im 16 and i have a pretty small penis.
im kinda ashamed of it.
it is 4 inches. but hard it kinda gets up there.
ive never measured it but ibelieve it is around like 7 or 8
my penis rod is straight but the head is a little right
any girls have an opinion on crooked penii ?
any girls have an opinion on small penii ? 		031209
...
misstree of course i have an opinoin. plenty of those. opinion, though, are a little rarer.

crooked is no problem, and can be quite fun, depending on the degree and angle.

small can be a disadvantage, as can overly large... girth is more important than length by quite a bit, and motion the most important of all... with the proper person, it can be quite a boon, if you know how to ask the right questions the right way... ahem.

7 or 8 isn't bad, 6 is about average i believe. if you start getting below 4, well, you've got some compensating to do when you get a girl in bed, and once you get down to 2, she's going to spend the night doing nitrous and listening to the rocky_horror_picture_show soundtrack to relieve her boredom. 		031209
...
jonathon im a virgin and i never have recieved a blowjob yet. i was wondering. does one cum faster if he fisrt gets one or does it depend on the person? opinions greatly appreciated....thanks 031209
...
^*^Blatter^*^ Yum 031213
...
~me penis's make me horny lol 031216
...
reckless poet what my ex boyfriends lacked 031219
...
. . 031219
...
purevirgingirl im a virgin
does it hurt during sex? 		031229
...
pezlets such an ugly thing 040118
...
tel just a worm mis-spelt like denis 040119
...
dudeinanigloo The many different words for penis

dog, rod, cock, dick, dink, dong, dork, hose, meat, wang, wick, wire, penis (the politically correct form), prick, snake, shaft, member, pecker, salami, stiffy, wanker, wiener, willie, johnson, johnny, kubasaw, monster, sausage, schlong,.....

Some phrases for penis

Gallus maximus, hot dog, little guy, main vein, mighty rainstick, mr. happy, purple helmeted love warrior, trouser snake, wee-wee,...

If anyone thinks of any others, I would like the contributions. 		040119
...
who do you want me to be I love the way it feels throbbing in my mouth, each pulse feeling like a moment of anticipation. It becomes some foreign land of subtle textures aching to be explored
tasted
taunted
and left aching for more

building up currents of desire that are suddenly quenched with one fell swoop.
Working towards that soft explosion,
sucking every last drop from it.
It wilts before me and I feel his energy burning in my stomach and soaring up my spine.

When I go too long without it, the smell can drive me wild and I hunger for everything it has to offer. Each thrust, each throb, the way it glistens with the fluids of lust, and transforms before my very eyes.

It becomes an alter I sacrifice myself to and am reborn a goddess. 		040120
...
egger is blushing 040120
...
tuesdays demon i have this great obsession with my boyfriends penis, especially when i cant see it, but i know its rock hard. we were sitting in Chipotle and i was scratching his thigh, not even trying to make him hard, but i could see his dick pushing against his pants. he just looked at me and smiled.

when we're at my house, on the couch, watching television, i'll put his hands on my breasts and put my hands on his thighs and wait for him to grow. and when he does, i push my hand along the bulge and his eyes close and he kisses me and its so wonderful to know i've got that much power, just because of his penis. 		040121
...
dudeinanigloo Hey, its me again. Just submitting my revisedsecond list, which is about twice as long, and more organized this time!



Some Different Synonyms
for the Male “Organ”

3-letter words

• Dog
• Rod

4-letter words

• Cock
• Dick
• Dink
• Dong
• Dork
• Hose
• Knob
• Meat
• Tube
• Wang
• Wank
• Wick
• Wire

5-letter words

• Doink
• Penis (the politically correct form)
• Percy
• Prick
• Snake
• Shaft
• Thing

6-letter words

• Member
• Pecker
• Salami
• Stiffy
• Tadger
• Wanker
• Wiener
• Willie





7-letter words

• Johnson
• Kubasaw
• Monster
• Sausage
• Schlong

8-letters +

• Anaconda

Phrases

• Bad man
• Family tree
• Fifth limb
• Gallus maximus
• Hot dog
• John Thomas
• Little guy
• Long John
• Main vein
• Mighty rain-stick
• Millimetre Peter
• Mr. Happy
• Oscar meyer wiener
• Peter-Paul
• Piece of pork
• Purple-helmeted love warrior
• Tab A
• Third leg
• Trouser snake
• Wee-wee 		040121
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ellen cherry charles snipe 040126
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. penii 040213
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shine yum, my boyfriend 040214
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hmm your boyfriend is a penis? 040214
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noynat My penis has never seen a vag and im 21 years old. i just want a warm skin envelope for my weenus 040307
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dudeinanigloo This is yet another list from me, and it is now even longer.


3-letter words

• Dog
• Eel
• End
• Ham
• Key
• Lob
• Rat
• Rod
• Toy

4-letter words

• Beef
• Bone
• Club
• Cock
• Dick
• Ding
• Dink
• Dong
• Dork
• Dyck
• Fish
• Hose
• Knob
• Meat
• Pole
• Pork
• Post
• Root
• Tong
• Tool
• Tube
• Wand
• Wang
• Wank
• Wick
• Wire
• Whip
• Worm
• Yang

5-letter words

• Doink
• Frank
• Joint
• Lance
• Nippy
• Penis
• Percy
• Prick
• Snake
• Snipe
• Shaft
• Spout
• Staff
• Steak
• Stick
• Stump
• Thing

6-letter words

• Carrot
• Dingus
• Gadget
• Gooser
• Hammer
• Jigger
• Jimson
• Member
• Muscle
• Nimrod
• Noodle
• Pecker
• Pistol
• Python
• Ramrod
• Rocket
• Rubber
• Rudder
• Rupert
• Salami
• Spigot
• Stiffy
• Tadger
• Wanker
• Weenie
• Wiener
• Winkle
• Willie
7-letter words

• Baloney
• Chicken
• Flubber
• Johnson
• Kubasaw
• Lobster
• Monster
• Sausage
• Schlong
• Schmock
• Zubrick

8-letters +

• Anaconda
• Joystick
• Pendulum
• Quimstake
• Schvontz

Phrases

• Bad man
• Bearded blood sausage
• Big John
• Blue vein meat roll
• Coat hanger
• Cream stick
• Ding dong
• Family tree
• Fifth limb
• Fishing rod
• Gallus maximus
• Hot dog
• Jack-in-the-box
• John Thomas
• Life preserver
• Little guy
• Long John
• Magic wand
• Main vein
• Middle leg
• Mighty rain-stick
• Milk man
• Millimetre Peter
• Mr. Goodwrench
• Mr. Happy
• Oscar meyer wiener
• Pee-pee
• Peter-Paul
• Piece of pork
• Pride and joy
• Purple-helmeted love warrior
• Skin flute
• St. Peter
• Tab A
• Tally whacker
• Third leg
• Trouser snake
• Wee-wee
• Yard stick


Ever noticed that there are not nearly as many words for the female equivalent?

It's sad... 		040309
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dudeinanigloo Oh, and I feel your pain, noynat. I am 15 years old and am still a virgin. You can jack off all you want but it never comes close to sex. 040309
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floyd It's less complicated though. I'd like to feel what its like to have someone cum in my mouth. It would be so icky if it wasn't someone I was, oh no, in lust with. Thought i'd say love didn't ya. 040312
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floyd Vagina euphamisms

Just as many as many as ole peckerwood I imagine.

http://www.starma.com/penis/muffy/muffy.html 		040312
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kookaburra i am very upset that you dont have boner on your list (what is this world coming to?) however, if it was on your list and my old, old 14 year old eyes just missed it, then pardon me.

anyways, i think that it might be kinda nice to have a penis. not a little one, tho. how could you do anything if it was a inch long? could you pee?

is just wondering 		040314
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Virgin hey all i have an average penis. it is about 6 inches erect. it has a little curve to it. i was wondering if a girl would really care about this if she liked the guy or could it make or break a relationship?

input appreciated 		040329
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megan you're fine Virgin. a-ok
penises do not make or break relationships that deserve to last... they simply mmm reinforce them :) 		040329
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flickers of a heart beating back to life not surprisingly, this is one of the largest topics out here...

Men thinking with their dicks just end up with their head between their legs

my two cents 		040417
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www.blackandredparty.de.vu schwanz 040422
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dudeinanigloo Kookaburra,

The reason that I did not put "boner" on my extensive list is that it does not refer to the actual organ itself. It rather refers to a state that occurs when the subject is aroused, and blood is pumped into the shaft. I am also considering taking off some other words also.

But thanks for the input. 		040426
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dudeinanigloo Thanks everyone else for the contributions. 040426
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dudeinanigloo Oh, and to answer your second question:

Sex would be a problem if your end was only an inch long. It should be at least 4 inches (I've heard this from several girls), or else she won't have any fun.

Pissing would be a problem too if you had a one-incher. You wouldn't really be able to get a hold on it, and you would probably hit the seat a lot.

Mine is 6 inches, with a slight curve, so I think I won't have too many problems.

Hope that helps. 		040426
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dudeinanigloo Since this page is really full, I have put my up-to-date list at penis_list. Check it out! 040502
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girl like me the penis list is realllllly long 040502
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dudeinanigloo And it's getting longer... 040507
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dudeinanigloo Hey, a girl like me:

This is also the first word I blathed on! Weird huh?... 		040508
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EbilSPorkMonkey I got one word and that's EW! 040509
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EbilSporkMonkey I got one word and that's EWWWWW! 040509
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EbilSporkMonkey err i hate it when it does that 040516
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stuthegayboy006 fun fun 040523
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dudeinanigloo What you got against the penis, pork monkey? 040626
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creamylicious yum 040730
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ebilsporkmonkey i used to have something against penis but i posted this a while ago but now i don't have much against penis 040908
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poodle Nobody answered the Hitler post, so here goes. I researched this several years ago and the real question was NOT "Did Hitler have a cock?" It was whether he had only one ball. The British soldiers in WWII even had a derogatory song about it.
The research never answered the question definitively. Apparently the autopsy on Hitler got "lost" so we may never know. There are apparently no othr medical records around to prove the matter one way or another. 		040912
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deb his tends to
get me pregnant

not like its not fun
gettin there! 		040914
...
briar omg im reading all the sex related topics like sex masturbate vagina and im getting so turned on! does any of you guys want to have sex with a 13 year old new zealand girl? im looking up 'penis' on google images and omg. shit im shaking and my pussy is pulsing. oh man i need a guy to fuck me now! who wants to?
shit some of those cocks are big! its turnin me on so bad! 		041212
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thunderbuck ram Surely you gotta try harder than that for your sexual thrills Briar? The 'net is a poewerful beast that can indeed play tricks with the mind, but I'm really struggling to see you as anything other than a sweaty male, significantly older than 13, who gets turned on in a strange, worrying, and even frightening way through such posts. It's not a good thought, but still a bit less unacceptable than the sad thought of a real over-sexed under age girl trying to find her way in life and create some cheap thrills out of her sexual awakenings on here. 041213
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cheechy-chong girls seem to like my penis more when they r high... 041222
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question_mark It's christmas eve... if Santa cums down my chimney, I'm going to swallow.

By the way igloo dude, you forgot shmoopie on your list, I think i'm gonna use that.

I knew a guy with a beautiful shmoopie, i loved to give him head, he was the only guy I ever swallowed for, he was the only guy I ever allowed to cum. I miss him and his shmoopie. 		041224
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brautigan i enjoyed this thread. it also made me feel inadequate. it also made me feel empowered.

i am a man. according to many, i am a man without a penis. according to me, i do have one.

i was born female. at least, that's what it looked like. there was a vagina. there was also a teeny little penis that looked like a clitoris. so there was a girl's name and dresses and pink color-coding (to tell me apart from my twin brother, whom i looked just like). later, there were unwanted floppy breasts and blood and tears. i was a boy, damn it i was a boy, but like peter pan i'd never grow into a man. but i couldn't even be peter pan because my body, my grandmother, the world was telling me i couldn't be a boy.

i was a boy. and now i am a man. a transgendered man. female-to-male. two-spirited. a trans. . .man.

i look in the mirror now. the floppy breasts are gone (god bless surgery). my cheek is scratchy and blue-grey with stubble (god bless supportive doctors and injectable testosterone). the dresses are gone (though i look good in pink shirts). and i have a penis. not a surgically constructed penis. just my own penis, the tiny clit-penis, which heard the testosterone calling and sprang to life and grew out of my body, grew and swelled and stands up on its toes for my boyfriend. (yes, he's gay.)

it's two inches long when it's hard. some people would hear that and laugh. it doesn't pee. it doesn't ejaculate. but it swells and throbs and fills his mouth. he says my juice tastes like semen now. i am a man, and when i'm lazy i sit to pee. i am a man, and i can make his toes curl. i am a man because i know i am.

the penis doesn't make the man. 		041230
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question_mark rock on man! rock on. 050112
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Moonshine! you people sure do love penis don't you? :P Never mind, I do to. I don't have one, but I would very much like to (for more than one day) but I guess it's not that important, but I think alot of things look like a penis, even if they don't really look like penises. I came to this site searching for penis and another word, I can't remember what the other word was. But I like this site, and poems about penises. Why are people embarrsed about the word penis? I think it is the best word ever.. sometimes I just want to yell out "penis". This is a great site, again, though suspiciously like "everything2.com".. ok I'm going to shut up now. bye 050113
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-jess Mine really hurts right now. :| 050313
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quickdrying does exactly what it says on the tin. 050501
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y yo 050601
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matt where does the word penis come from any way? 050601
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cfork schniepel 050630
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Pagan Underweight Have you heard of Violent Jimmy's exploits trying to kill Crazy Frog? How can he be eliminating the same, single Crazy Frog over & over again? Are there apperently multiple Crazy Frogs, what the hell?
If you want to wast half-an-hour search on Google: 'Kill Crazy Frog.' Never has a ringtone stirred such a culture of hatred! I don't mind the other ringtone characters, their only cute with annoying voices and hackneyed songs; but Crazy Frog brings back all my irrational childhood hatred of FROGS! Not that I'd ever hurt one: I've volunteered in animal shelter & rescue programs! But why are those once forgotten adreneline rushes at the thought of killing a frog (thankfully now only Crazy Frog) coming back to me? Aaaaaargh!!
What is that tiny, dangling penis about anyway? I approve because, after anthropology class at USD, I saw through the lies of the nudity taboo in our culture. (Penis is no cause for shame, but cause for as much thought as arm, leg or brain!!!) Crazy Frog is a nudist but not an ideological nudist. He seems kind of extroverted to me and needs some Plato or counterpoint Lessons.
There is some real dark comedy out there about how to kill Crazy Frog. I hear somebody's even setting up a Crazy Frog porn gallery!?! What the heck? Bestialsadism?
I admit I do hate that Frog, even though his song is Catchy (only on TV not cell phones). Some African tribes have a tradition of wearing their enemies sun-dried phallus on their forehead as a victory token. If I had a shot gun I'd aim at that damn frog...right where it hurts! I'd shoot no more 'cause that's enough, even if he does run away!
Crazy Frog brings out my Dark Side 		050702
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fuck penis: phallus, dick, cock, peter, wang, weener, pee pee, rod, stick, ice cream cone, rocket ship, member, bratwurst, manhood, willy, sea slug, one-eyed snake, etc 060216
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freakyfreakinfreak i feel sorry for women... i love having a penis. mine is average.... 060731
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Mikhos One eyed trouser snake.

Approximate 7.5 inches full grown, rarely found in the wild. 		081016
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Doar scary!!!! 121216
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