phallus
screwing for virginity i saw this word on pussy_eating_101 and i felt it should have its own page. 030130
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Syrope so yesterday we were analyzing this poem about a guy who dreams his "most mortal part" was turned into a vine...and how he crept and grew over this woman he's in love/lust with and he was reveling in touching her waist and her neck and thighs and her face, but when he got to the "parts that maids keep unespied" (something like that) he wakes up and finds himself "more like a stock than a vine." The catch is, that last line and the line before it were on the next page and i didn't even see them when i read it. so i'm thinking "what a cool poem" and imagining being taken over by an infatuated vine. then the prof starts talking about how the vine is really symbolic of a phallus. and now i really don't like the poem. the thought of a penis wrapping around me several times is just a little less romantic than a vine curling around me. 030131
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SICK ANNIHILATOR *WARNING: GRAPHIC EXPRESSION OF ANGER, DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE!*

CrazyFrog is bound and struggling on an industrial iron tube, tied there by thugs on hire. They have been paid and departed long before. The factory is outside town, abandoned and no one can hear us. I carefully pull at CrazyFrog's lower lip, he tries to bite, but I skewer his lip with a penknife. It slices thru the delicate amphibian flesh with surprising ease. He screams in pain but I ignore him. Hellbent on revenge I kneel before him and, without fanfare, dig my teeth into his puny genitalia like some animal. He howls and pisses in defence. I recommence but the Frog pisses some more. The process repeats but Froggie runs outta liquid. I tear into his genitals with demonic vengeance and rip, rip, rip, jerk and pull with evil frenzy. I rejoice in each crack and vibration of Crazy Frog's agonized body! I leave the phallus on but chew it up like a piece of !SQUID! as in sushi, spitting out the blood and fluids. After working away for forty minutes at the scrotum, my work is nearly done. I take out the same pocketknife and ram it into CrazyFrog's abdomen, twisting it and enjoying the display of pain. I walk out.

Crazy Frog is left to himself and his demise.

I do not collect the $50,000 reward but (personally) dedicate my act to the bounty hunter who never caught the frog. Now he's dead (died real slow n' sweet) in the abandoned factory. Hail to the Bounty Hunter! Death and Annihilation (no soul!) to the CrazyFrog! Glory to God for never giving him a soul!
050724
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stork daddy was that a mad libs? 050724
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