warning typhoid This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly may be required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. May be too intense for some viewers. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Driver does not carry cash. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes, dealer prep, or delivery. Penalty for private use. Call toll free before digging. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. All models over 18 years of age. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Apply only to affected area. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Edited for television. No solicitors. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Decision of judges is final. This supersedes all previous notices. No other warranty expressed or implied. 000127 ... klairchen Warning: Some experts believe that the use of any keyboard may cause serious injury. Consult statement on the back of this keyboard. 000817 ... Sintina "Hi, this is Paige from Warning Systems Incorporated, I'm calling about the Chemical Stockpile Project at the Anniston Army Depot, our company is the one providing the warning radios that will go off is something happens down in Bynum or if there is a tornado sighted somewhere in Calhoun County. There's no cost for these radios at all, because they have been provided entirely by the government. If you would like more information or to schedule your installation, please call us back here at our Response Center, the number is 831-2354, that number again is 831-2354, Thank you for your time and have a good day." I say that five hundred times a day. That's what I do for a living. 010120 ... silentbob this is a public service announcement this is only a test greenday WARNING: Some experts don't really know how the information they know so much about relates to real people 010120 ... Laura Give me some damn time! I Work all fucking day and come home to this. I'm warning you, get the damn children quiet and the fucking house clean. I bring home the money that puts this roof over your head and the clothes on your back and you don't even appreciate it! Your lucky for what I give you. Your lucky you have my love. This is what loves all about. 010504 ... carden on a blow dryer: do not use while bathing 010504 ... florescent light mixing apples, chocolate milk, ice, cinnamon, honey, and sprinkles, does not, I repeat, DOES NOT make a good drink. 010618 ... birdmad snap without 010618 ... User24 Happy FUN BALL! -only $14.95- Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: Itching Vertigo Dizziness Tingling in extremities Loss of balance or coordination Slurred speech Temporary blindness Profuse sweating Heart palpitations If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration... Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee. Happy Fun Ball ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! 010711 ... eighty-seven advil Oooooohh, I'm sooooooo scaaaaaaared... 011017 ... freakizh WARNING If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...... Tyler 020523 ... Moose Never underestimate the power of the mind Never take anything for granted Never think that tommorow will come and Never put a red jumper in with your white knickers 030210 ... cube "The end is near" Is this a warning or a promise? ³ 030210 what's it to you? who go blather from