mahayana ClairE Come online. I command thee. 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge yesssssss master O |= | *says under a trance like state* your wish is my command ¿[which state, out of the USA, would be a trance like state]? 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge *aHeM* that was 'pose to be a stickfigure walking towards you in my 'trance like intoXicated by your command state' but it looks as though, the Blather Gods/Goddesses have not looked so favorably upon me. [i seem to have lost some limbs & grew a shelf for my head] [[they really do beat people with the ugly sticks :::beaware-very aware:::]] 011222 ... Toxic_Kisses may I ask you a question? (Besides the one I'm asking now) 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge *nods head* you may ask 1 question but [cuz there *always* is a butt] you may not use any E's or T's, interpret this as you may [good luck blather-roo-ski] 011222 ... TK NM it's an imposible task to ask you what I want w/o useing the letter T 011222 ... ClairE Were you going to ask about "masturbation"? Or just "what..."? P.S. You are still not there... 011222 ... TK It was never my goal to be "there" why worry about their when I'm content being here. no it pertained to her hair. 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge i was only teasing Toxic Kisses & hun think outside of the [], you could have done this. [i was only asing oxic Kisss & hun hink ousid of h [], you could hav don his.] [[please ask, i was only being silly]] 011222 ... Toxic_Kisses How did you do your hair, or should I say Skull? A sky so grand, is it lasting or w/ paint? How did you do such an amazing work of skill on ur skull? And sky color parts of ur hair that hang down, will it wash out or stay until grown out? If so how do you get it to stay? I wish to do my hair a color witch doth not wash away. -- Only one E I used*She says feeling all pouty and frustrated* 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge c! C! c! now, THAT, was Phucking a-may-zon ::applauds:: i'll answer, once I return, I have to sign off for a wee bit, but i shall return, with answers in hand [neXt mission to type with no spaces] [[andifyoumessupandtypeaspaceinyouhavetostartalloversorrybutthosearetherules]] [[[good luck blather-roo-roo]]] 011222 ... TK R U Still Here? 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge *blushes* yeah im still here afterall im a: blatherholic whats ^ TK? [are you still?] 011222 ... Toxic_Kisses "Still"? Still alive? Still Breathing? Still typing away my life for strangers to read? Still transfixed by the screen in front of me? Still unable to sleep? ...yea I'm still 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge still ^ [up]? still living?, cuz one can be alive but not truly living Still catching your free falling breaths? Still entertaining the masses, in vulnerable yet precious ways? Still enthralled by symbols, text, and colorfull visions? Still an insomniac, like me? ...yea I'm glad your still...still'ing around [& hey dont worry about the otherday- it was beautiful in its own rights of lessons, love, and humanities, and my heart is still open] 011222 ... Toxic_Kisses I don't think I ever lived I simply seem to exist taking up space and oxygen. Don't get me wrong I want to live It's definitely one of my goals it just doesn’t seem to have happened yet. Mmmmm, that makes it sound like I WaItInG for something to just *BaM* suddenly happen, but that’s not true, I try to make things happen, I try to experience thing, and yet the more I try the farther away I seemed to be pushed (like reaching out ur hand to something you think is in your grasp only to have it some how just pulled away @ the last moment) but worry not that hasn’t kept me from trying again, maybe one of these days I'll get it right. After all to die w/o really ever having lived is one of my biggest phobias. [Thank you for being you] 011222 ... unhinged made me smile one day when i needed to most. some days i live my life for e-mails that lovely 011222 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge if you, declare it is so than it is so although, it was nix & nil compared to each and every quintessence if it was not 4 being so damn inhibited id be dutiful towards expending my days & evermore allowing you & others 2 smile through & through from side to side from end to end from beginning to end all the way through & through copious days when one, desires it a good sum of numbers & of course on behalf of no reason at all, as well. Endurance of life subsisting leasing others towards the very notion of worths: myself theirself the world the world we are creating via essence of eXpressions eXpressionistic filled essentials [ahh the oils of life] 011222 ... Toxic_Kisses Marry X-Mass you! 011225 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge Merry Christmas to you as well hun, happy holidays, and grand new year to you as well [thanks for being you & many blessings to you, your family, your friends, and your loved ones] 011226 ... Jenna I was wondering, what do you do [for a living] that allows you to keep hours so close to my own [even though you are 1 hour behind]? I have an excuse. I don't have to be at school for another week. You? :) 011231 ... Mahayana: Zakah: im your drug dealer you silly dope *giggels* did you forget... ¿*again*? [i told you that was some good [bleep]] [[its ok, your addicted to my products, what else can one say]] oh... so now they are *your* *own* hours *winks* [[eXcuses, X-cuses, eXcuses]] [[[your just full of em]]] [arent ya Jenna] 011231 ... Mahayana: Zakah: sErioUsLY nOw.[.].[.]. 1] full time double major at Uni, whom has taken one semester off (a much needed one as well), even though i closed on a house 1 yr go, & I am *still* doing major renovations during my self perscribed 'sanity semester off' 2] I dont work as of now, but have saved up some 'reserve' reverse cash flows, uni is all payed for, as well as, 'sort of' getting paid to attend uni, from various moneys left over from grants, awards, Phi Eta Sigma, high GPA's, deans list, etc. etc. etc. 3] Prior to & during some of college, i was a youth advisor through, St. Lukes Hospitol, within an HIV/AIDS prevention & education org. 4] insomniac, whom is *always keeping* weird sort of hrs, no matter how many jobs &/or higher education hours that must be endured [[ im full of eXcuses as well]] [[[eXcuses ... its whats for dinner]]] 011231 ... Jenna hehehe I_adore_you, Mahayana. You rock. I always keep weird hours too. School or none. I think with all that stuff you were working very hard. You are one of those people [a rare few] that actually *deserve* that semester they take off. I'm so glad you're here. For a while I was worried that it was just me and paste!. [scary] [My friend and I once convinced a bunch of 15-year-olds that he's my dealer *and* my pimp! HA!] 011231 ... Mahayana: Zakah: he-he-he -or- t-he t-he t-he -or- t-het-het-he awww *butterfly fuzzies* awww [[[butterfly fuzzies in mah heart]]] and i adore the adoring ways you adore inwhich i find myself adoring you through even more endearing adoring ways you: rock, teeter-totter, swing, sway, flow, splash, collide w/angels glide, resonate, free fall, you... are... what we all have lost & found *all* at once [i am *the night owl*] [[who-who]] [[[i am - i am]]] [i love paste!/ paste! enforces every-ting within me that has been UPS'ed away/ 4 so long] that free fall free fall that free fall way with words [[[wow, talk about double bonus days with Q-pons ... 'DD' and 'P']]] [[bowing down to your obviously convincing ways- with regards to baddness=goodness=silliness=sassiness]] [try to convince me of something jenna] ¿[do you know how it feels 2 be adored, by someone you adore yourself, & have been adoring for awhile now, its like building ice castles on your tongue, & never getting frost bite]? 011231 ... Jenna wow *sigh* 011231 ... Jenna word_association we just had the exact same thought: gag me with a spoon scary but way cool!!! 020102 ... Jenna well then you win :) I guess... 020102 ... cube get_type( laugh ); switch( laugh ) { case HE-HE-HE: // or case T-HE_T-HE_T-HE: // or case T-HET_HET-HE: // then silly_grrl = TRUE; break; // if none of the above default: silly_grrl = FALSE; } // this program could actually // be made to run // ³ 020102 ... Mahayana: Zakah: cube³+¹=damn ur good get_answer( giggles ); switch( snickers ) { break; // if all of the above default: cube³ = TRUE; } // this program could actually // be made to self destruct .oO[here fishy fishy]Oo. 020102 ... cube x = y = 1; if( mahayana_at_halkidiki ) ...message(x, y, "What are you doing in Greece?"); else ...message(x, y, "Where the hell are you?"); // the ellipses are only for spacing // ³ 020102 ... Mahayana: Zakah: i-'lip-s&s, Greek elleipsis ellipsis, ellipse, elleipein to leave out, fall short, from en in + leipein to leave i-'lip-s&s, e- [depending on how greedy U get] omission of /1/ or /more/ {words} that are /obviously/ understood /but/ that must be /supplied/ to make a construction /grammatically/ complete [if you wanna construct a house grammatically complete, than you must obviously understand you need to omit the graveyard, unless you want to supply the 'mez'en'song' for the neXt pultergist film] a sudden leap frog from 1topic2 another marks or a mark (as … or * or -) indicating an omission (as of words) [[[~~~or a pause~~~ ]]] such as: cube²+1 ... ive been wondering... are you more of a [...], [*], or [-] kind of blatherer i myself tend to sway towards [...] & [*]² one a good day that is ellipse 1b: F, F'foci; P, P', P''any point on the curve; FP +PF'=FP''+P''F'=FP'+P'F' [now that *thats* cleared or x(²) away] ...output (x, y, "I am at home, Wisconsin!") // the ellipses are only for 'heart' // ³ 'sing it' // totally ellipses of the heart 020102 ... Toxic_Kisses I'm so glad (More like ecstatic) your back, this place truly wasn’t the same while you were away 020106 ... ClairE Hooray. 020107 ... Mahayana: Zakah: taNk shOe: ToXic KiSses & Claire im not giving ^ the fIght just yet far far too many people 2: + harrass + tease + *b* sassy with its good 2 be back i misSed U gUys this much *stretches arms wide open* infinity /standing up/ times 2 [[8 x's 2]] |----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| [[8 x's 2]] infinity /standing up/ times 2 020107 ... cube You just love contradicting me, doncha? ³ 020112 ... Mahayana 'if' you tell me: that 'i do' or 'do not' contradict you 'than' i could answer properly with the adequate contradiction :::giggles::: [if some individual -any individual- finger speaks something that gets me motivated, i can not help but 2 get my 53¢ worth in] ]do i blather stalk you & just say opposite of you, on everything, no, ... but that is a damn good idea[ ~¿ô {O .oO(what ya think)? 020112 ... (egotistical) cube You're too clever by half to be caught in my simple trap :-) If you were to contradict me on every point, you'd always be wrong! Ha! ³ 020113 ... TK Just felt like sayin Hi 020118 ... pushpins mahayana you are beautiful in your words and out in and out and might i add, your hair is to dye for as well. 020127 ... unhinged i take it you don't use aol instant messenger that makes me sad. it would be lovely to have a conversation with you. you do live in milwaukee right? i think i might be going back there this summer... 020127 ... Mahayana i do use aol instant messenger fireworxs feel free to message me any time i agree a conversation would be most lovely. -and- you are correct I [do] live in milwaukee. hey if you come to milwaukee perhaps we should go have a nice frappy or something at the starbucks on Brady street... one of my fav places in the city is brady street :) that is if you [even] would want to ... just a thought ... to keep in mind ... afterall i have no idea how busy you get when you visit 020206 ... ever dumbening She lays bare the world For us, for all to see. Take the pieces you Need, she silently Implies. The broken and beautiful Pieces of her of us of them Reassembled Reassemble Assemble A semblance of is and was And, yes, will be. She stains the glass Provides the solder the soldiers The lead. She points towards the windows We have yet to make, Yet we have to make. 020206 ... SunShamer I'm a long island iced tea. What drink are you? 020206 ... Mahayana somenights im a + fuzzy navel + other nights + margarita + yet on other nights + hot cocoa by the fireplace + [it all depends whom im with though] ¿[why do you ask ... & what would you want me to be]? [long island tea... hmmm ... you do realize it only takes [one] for me] 020206 ... Mateo You are a lovely person. Amelie is the movie for you. 020224 ... pralines&cream Dear Mahayana, These answers are pretty personal, so feel free to say "no comment." Every few blathes I think I know the answers to these questions, and then every few more blathes I become confused again. Here are my questions: 1. Are you a male or female? 2. Of what sexual orientation are you? If you don't want to answer, 's okay; I was just wondering because my image of you is never quite solid. 020305 ... Mahayana Dearest PC, These answers [are] pretty personal, but since I view you as such a wonderful individual I feel completely comfortable letting you know. Here are my answers: 1. Are you a male or female? [{malefemale}] 2. Of what sexual orientation are you? [{a straight lesbian}] If you don't want to read, 's okay; I was just sharring because i dont want my image of myself to never quite solid. sincerely, Mahayana 020306 ... pralines&cream :) You are SO "mahayana" You never disappoint. :) 020306 ... no reason i love your writing and you are so cool. :) 020307 ... Mahayana ][is married to destiny][ 020308 ... destiny oh really? *wink* 020318 ... Mahayana [{manifest me}][my destiny] [{can i fix this day}] lightening by my love you are always by my hands i need you ooooh i miss you [{manifest me}][my destiny] [{can i fix past days}] take action and strength lightening by my love take... this heart of mine [i love you love you] [{can i fix this day}] your in my hands ::touching this sky:: 020318 ... pralines&cream what's wrong? :(? 020412 ... Mahayana everything hun :( 1]losing my half of the house to my ex and her lawyers 2]losing my two little loves buddy & sammy my doggies to her as well 3]i have no where to live 4]everything in our house will be hers cuz i dont have anywhere to go with what was once mine 5]im running out of reasons to smile 6]i feel so worn down, ground away 7]hope has disappeared 8]just everything hun, just everything is soooooo wrong 020412 ... the boys from robin hill it's tough to read that, but life does blow sometimes. yet, from what we know about you, your spirit is indomitable and you will get through it. hope is not lost, you will just have to find it somewhere you haven't looked before. someone such as you, who has given so much of herself to others will not be forsaken. our prayers are with you. 020413 ... mahayana thank you for your prayers i shall carry them within me no matter where i shall be/go 020413 ... pralines&cream You're an amazing person, with an amazing spirit. Your obstacles are huge, but don't allow them to overcome you. Please please please don't do something that can't be undone. What I feel has no pertinence in your life outside of blather, but know that if you were to do something awful to yourself, there'd be one person here missing you terribly. 020413 ... unhinged knowing you haven't been around and hoping that everything's okay. and i guess that it's not. *HUG* 020413 ... john_thomas I HATE FUCKING PAKI'S ANALYSE THAT YOU WHORE 020415 ... hey now! thats nice john_thomas. im so glad to know we have such a fucking asshole around here. but seriously, what was the point in that? Mahayana, i love you :o* 020415 ... mahayana wow john that really didnt make much sense at all but ummmm [gee] thanks for sharing anyhow :] 020415 ... mahayana hey now... hey now! *grins a nice huge fucking grin* you KNOW i lovvvvvvvve yOu no doubt about it rar!!!! 020415 ... Photophobe Though I respect your writing, and find a lot of what you say useful (and occasionally insightful - which is all we can hope for, really), your use of grammars, your parsing and you odd usage of (bracket) [parenthesis] and {other dooby} make your stuff really hard to penetrate. 020420 ... Mahayana [those whom are meant 2 permeate shall do so] [[just as somethings are meant not to be surface level this is the such]] [[[afterall this aint nobOdys book]]] want a smooth read :grab a book: this is the graphical/visual world [{anyhow, i really do not desire others to [{[penetrate]}] encroach, invade, and/or trespass}] [x[x[x[x[x[penetrate]x]x]x]x]x]x] ive always had qualms about this word [x[x[x[x[x[penetrate]x]x]x]x]x]x] *clicks heels three times and repeats* im not a novelist im a blather'er im not a novelist im a blather'er im not a novelist im a blather'er 020420 ... Photophobe Typography is my major, btw. If you're making patterns, fine, but type is designed to read. Sorry. Visual world comment got under my skin a little. I'm not criticising - just commenting that I wish I could penetrate (i never permeate) the wall of text that is your writing sometimes. If I didn't enjoy what I could digest, then I wouldn't give a shit, yeah? :) 020420 ... Mahayana typography is [[[not]]] one of my two majors by the way[sides], if everyone judged the world through their major, things would get pretty chaotic & nothing would ever get done wed be too busy trying to justify why our major should be the authority on this or that my type is designed to do what eva the heck & hell i want-wish it to do, & what eva the heck & hell {it} wants-wishs to do no matter if its patterns, a mess, nothing, everything i disagree with you ...some type [is] designed to be merely looked at & not read esp within the avant garde/ experimental worlds [which happens to be one of my majors genres] and i am not sorry but i do not create for others... criticizing or not... it makes no difference to me, nothing is going to change ... if one minute i want to use {[)/? i shall and if the neXt fleeting sec i want to use {{{[{ i also shall- this is the way of sass i do not create so that others may penetrate "walls-halls-orbackalleys of text" or not... it just is what it just is [{say what you want- think what you think for i do not wish to change that... however i just dont give a labias rip about typography, spelling, conventionalisms, in box-isms}] 020420 ... pralines&cream aack ... "a labia's rip" *shudder* ow. 020421 ... Mahayana oh hun it snot as ["ow"] as it sounds [{eXample of a labia rip}] [snipp snipp from another blathe] Manifest this Muthafucka #3: I'm sick of my genitalia being used as an insult. Are you? It's time to let my labia rip and rearrange this. Here we go: "That was so Pussy of you to help me move to my new place! Especially since I'm living on the 13th floor. You've really made this a Pussy move!" see: enter_the_pussy_manifesto 020421 ... Mahayana [it snot] [its not] :who's looking: 020421 ... Photophobe I wasn't claiming that my major should be the authority on anything. I was telling you because I am into typography into a big way, and so that would obviously make the theoretical perspective and frame of reference within my comments more clear, as type was mentioned. I'm sorry if you feel I shouldn't judge the world through my major - but I can't help it. We all layer multiple frames of reference over everything we say and do, so I don't see how using one that you're informed about could be all that bad. I felt that you might find this (my major) information useful when, and if, you replied. You might now, but it didn't exactly take a year to type it. Ok, I retract my statement about type being designed to be read. This font in particular is, but whatever. Not all houses are designed to give shelter, either. Anyway, whatever. Sorry to comment on your writing. Didn't realise you'd have such a thin skin. Still attempting to friendly dispite your brutal response. 020421 ... Photobot 3rd paragraph - you might now= you might not 020421 ... Mahayana i by no means said nor did i believe that you shouldn’t or cannot judge the world through your major, all i am saying is that if you have any preconceived notions about what my eXpressions [and or type] should or shouldn’t be- that this is not much of any distress to me- not because im boorish, or ill-mannered, or thin skinned- all i am saying is- yes, i hear what you had to say ... but just as you said your peace i wanted to say my own peace... which basically was and still is ... that i don’t care if not a single soul can read my expressions on blather nor can not decode them [[I do not blather for anyone nor any reason but myself, if someone else can gather something from my blathers- that’s wonderful- if not- well im sorry but that is not why I blather… so I can to some extent understand your comments on my eXpressions… however, it truly doesn’t matter to me- im not a writer- a novelist- a typographer- linguist etc etc etc]] [[[just out of inquisitiveness what was your reasoning [if there indeed was any particular one] behind your initial comments???- im curious- did you in some manner anticipate that perhaps upon reading your comments that id discover something I wasn’t aware of and thusly would consider changing my style… im not being vindictive or discourteous here… im actually quite interested in what your frame of contemplation was upon your blathering]]] I really do not deem my response as automatically making me thin skinned I just don’t agree with you- & i said so- & without making use of character criticism or whatnot i don’t mind if you comment on my eXpressions- at all, or anything else for that matter- for this is blather and anyone can truly and rightfully say anything …however, just as well understand that the door swings both ways & that i was merely observing/commenting back- and this does not necc. default me towards having thin skin moreover, perhaps im sightless or subjective but i really did not perceive my response as brutal- it was actually far-off from being brutal, cruel, wicked, and/or vicious im really not an evil person at all, and very rarely can i go there- even merely in thoughts- even if i had to- id rather witness people supporting each other & celebrating each others positives rather than focusing on negatives 020421 ... Photo in Melbourne yeah ok. initial reason: exactly as stated. I was expressing that I liked what I could, but found some of it hard. 020422 ... hey now! hoping this works i ♥ you 020422 ... hey now! damn! 020422 ... hey now! i ♥ you 020422 ... minnesota_chris that's awesome! ♥ ♥ ♥ LOVE. . . exciting and new. . . . come aboard. . . we're expecting youuuuu. . . Erm, sorry about that mahayana, um, you're really sweet for a punker living in Milwaukee! 020423 ... -{::EphemeralArcs::}- A Person unto who I sent message with the wind. Please tell if you recieved it. 020425 ... azurebreeze Hey that sweet sounds tickle my ears as it rolls off my tongue. Sweet like maple sugar, natural and tasty. Pour it over my cereal and just eat it all up. 020429 ... loving freakizh mahayana is a beautiful window to intellectual&sentimental thoughts, colored by aesthetic typo to achieve madness. 020522 ... I seemed so wise before she got into the cycle of love just like everyone else 020522 ... Mahayana + freakish + awesome tremendous awe-inspiring style + I + love is a cycle- chapter- rotation and I do harmonize however, everything- the whole lot- the whole thing emanates from that very area under discussion the succession sequence string of love [{love it both}][:: drivel prattle blather on I & Freakizh::] 020522 ... freakizh a kiss to mahayana :* 020522 ... yummychuckle i love you. 020528 ... Mahayana thank you yummychuckle, *hugs* i wasnt expecting anything sweet like this at all- or anything to be said to me at all, its such a beautiful thing to witness & share ... esp. when im so close to the edge that i can feel the wind at my toes. thank you dear heart, thank you and i love you as well, bless your heart yummychuckle bless your wonderful heart. 020528 ... sabbie at the edge of a cliff lean into ... grin into ... coat tails riding on .... the devil wind. cherish this, as every experence. learn from it put it aside, and ride into tommorrow. i will light a candle for you sweetheart that the universe stops looking the other way. i will send a sabblessing on the wind that rushes past your face as you stand upon your cliff. cup your hands, for of all the people i know of mahayana, you will be the one to catch the wind. 020528 ... sabbie i know its hard sweetheart, but breath in. can you smell the sandlewood? 020528 ... sabbie i know its hard sweetheart, but breath in. can you smell the sandlewood? 020528 ... silent storm i love you, sass. i do have so much faith in you and in us. i treasure every second i have with you. you are all that brings me joy. you are everything to me. i need you. i love you. 020528 ... phil not to get in your way 020630 ... silent storm everything 020711 ... god hey yana, please do me a favor and slap unhinged on the ass. tell her it's from god. 020713 ... Mahayana dear god,[oh wait *gets on knees with prayerful hands*] since you are all powerful, and everywhere all at once, shouldnt you be able to slap unhingeds *aheam* ass all by yourself... what does this now mean that you are coming to me for help--have you been demoted & have i now been promoted? :) even if i 'could' slap unhingeds ass- i wouldnt for these reasons: 1]that would have to involve me first looking at her ass to line up and ensure proper hand-eye coordination, and thusly contact of hand and ass. i have yet to have looked at her ass, nor think it would be proper of me to do so 2]i think it would really 'really' shock the hell out of unhinged if i were to do such a thing 3]i really do not think it would be proper to partake in such an activity for the sake of others- i mean afterall satan is watching and 'is' only steps away from taking my soul from me - so i bess be on good behavior, at all times so in conclusion god, sorry i can not slap unhingeds ass, or anyone else's ass-for that matter, and i do hope that this will not be used against me when i die PS sorry about taking your name in vein last week- it was a stressful time in the name of the mother, the daughter, and the sewn up spirit .... AMEN! 020714 ... god what- do i got to set a bush on fire or something? 020715 ... Secret Service *drags god away* 020805 ... unhinged you know god, you could have slapped my ass yourself i don't know if i would have been all that shocked by yana doing that, but after meeting her, i think she is too sweet to ever raise a hand to anyone or anything. 020806 ... Mahayana to list her flaws would be too listy 021006 ... velvetdesire dear mahayana, i just wanted to thank you for a message you wrote to/about me so very long ago. i haven't been here [to blather] in oh, so long. and when i do come, i just read ... i dont leave any trace. but anyway, i just wanted to thank you for your message under velveltdesire. it was so beautiful and i never expected it. [i thought no one had even noticed me here] your words are so beautiful and electric. thank you. you brought a smile to a stranger's face. xoxo 021014 ... velvetdesire * under velvetdesire 021014 ... silent storm I miss you. I need you. I love you. Fuck. This hurts. 021018 ... hey now! no frowny faces! i know there was nothing you could do.. i wasnt angry at you. i was frustrated with the immaturity and lack of consideration from anthony (and whoever else might have been bothering us). but i guess its to be expected from younggins. 021025 ... cube Glad to see you back again. I so missed your verbal abuse... ³ 030416 ... Mahayana why cube ive been saving it all for you ;] likewise, good to see you back as well,... in the typing/contributing seeing sense that is, I have a feeling though you may been reading us for awhile, even though remaining silent... but were you deadly is the question i suppose? 030416 ... Elzbieta Great Vehicle I am the lesser vehicle Hinayana 030417 ... Mahayana Ah Elzbieta, you are the first movement ancient forms, Sri Lanka || || continental Southeast Asia. monastic life, have you reached individual saintliness? hopefully not... for extinction at the end of your life has not yet occured- or perhaps it would play for a rather interesting conversation on just how you are communicating with us- but i suppose to wonder is to take away your mystery and ancient form 030417 ... Mahayana Just in case anyone wanted to know. Question: How did I do on that majorly huge final? Answer: 100%- nothing wrong- only person in class to do so, and might I add only woman in the class as well *winks* :] definitely something i don’t want amnesia about 030528 ... unhinged *highfive* 030528 ... rubydee sanskrit-- greater vehicle. in contrast with hinayana, lesser vehicle. 030601 ... rubydee sanskrit-- greater vehicle as opposed to hinayana, lesser vehicle . 030601 ... ruby ergh buggy puter 030601 ... just wondering I thought you'd left years ago? what's yer name mean? 030629 ... Toxic_Kisses You’re such an inspiration to me, your good, intelligent, wise, understanding, caring, unselfish and so many other wonderful things w/o ever having to try, you’re everything that I strive so hard to be. Every time I read you it reminds me that my goals -are- achievable You've been on my mind allot lately and so I just wanted to thank you for being 030915 ... TK sneeking on glad to see you back again 030920 ... Mahayana Thank you for your more than generous words TK, i think sometimes you forget just how wonderfully amazing you are yourself sweetie ... it always seems as if those who strive for such beauty are those who really arent the ones who need to at all ... [please forgive me for my lack of passion or depth in my words right now, my head is sort of out of the clouds and its hard to form any coherent let alone, expressive words] youre such a compassionate woman Tk, and i know youll have such great coming-arounds in your life for that truly beautiful quality much love, success, and happiness to you TK my good thoughts and wishings are with you my dear 030920 ... TK Don’t apologize or feel need to explain yourself to me, I never want more then you can give. Please don't ever feel the need to entertain me w/ imaginative pretty words bc they mean nothing to me if it's not truly what the inner most core of you is thinking/feeling. You always have meant more to me then fluffy pretty words and you always will. *Hugzzzzzz* I really have missed you 030920 ... Mahayana ... is irritated w/the world today ... !dont mind her! 031014 ... marked . 031110 ... Bespeckled I didn't want to ask you this on blather (I'm not even sure you will see this), but as I cannot find an email address for you, I really have no other choice if I need to get in touch with you. 1) I'm very sorry for the recent turn of events. I believe you are a beautiful person, with a beautiful heart and soul and pure, honest intentions. I think the blather journey book was a wonderful idea, and the fact that you remained so patient and steadfast in your dedication to it speaks a lot about you as an individual (in a very good way, dear). It was saddening and a blow to the blather world when you uttered those all too final words: "having said that, this is my last blather," and did not write anything afterward. It's enough to make me wonder and worry whether you really will stay away and never return again. If you do, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and I mourn the loss of a true blatherskite. 2) And now getting down to less personal matters ... Before you left, you said that you would send the journey book on to the next person on the list, which, as far as I know, is myself. As far as I know, you do not have my current Boston address. I don't know if, in removing yourself from blather (which, despite your words, I hope is only temporary), you have also decided to not send on the book. If you have decided to halt the journey book journeying, I understand; I have considered it your book all along, and if anybody has a right to keep it at the end of the line, it is you. But for now, I hope and pray that that is not the case, as I anxiously await its arrival ... someday, sometime, somehow ... if not to make my own contribution, just to leaf through its pages, as I've been waiting for what seems so long to do. I suppose the ball is in your court now, dear. If you'd like to get in touch with me, my email address is Aphrodite7717@yahoo.com (or Aphrodite7717@hotmail.com), and you can also find me on AIM all day long under Aphrodite7717. If I don't hear from you, well, you already know what I think. I will always hold you in highest regards, as a free spirit, a free thinker and the kind of human that was truly intended to grace this world. Have a wonderful life, mahayana. I hope to hear from you soon. 031210 ... hello . 040311 ... girl_jane Mahayana-what happened to you...? 040422 ... Mahayana [What happened to me] I often ask myself this very same question, what happened to the loving person I used to think I was, the one that would be desired for a loving relationship [the sad thing is ... i dont know what has happened to me]. I used to view myself as someone with great potential to love and be loved but in lue of recent events that have transpired within my life, Im not so sure of this anymore. Im not so sure of anything anymore, and just when i was beginning to have true confidence in myself-- it has all been stripped away-- down to bare nothingness. [so what has happened to me] ive cried, died a little, wished for former times, I was shattered, broken, lied to and deceived, ive been inducted into two national honor socities, im continually excelling in my studies, i found myself and lost her again, im slowly suffocating in many ways, [what happened to me ... good question] Does anyone know? I havent been here in so long - I feel like a stranger within my own words 040423 ... girl_jane Welcome back. I'm sure, if you want to, you'll find your space here again. You carved it out so well during your last stay, it probably only needs to be swept and dusted a bit. 040423 ... magicforest Sans doute, tu es ici pour adorer, Mahayana... 040423 ... Mahayana Pardon my lack of knowledge about what you have said magicforest; however, it is french ....correct...? that you speak and you have mentioned something about me being there to adore, undoubtedly, I think I am way off on that translation. but i thank you for your words -- ive always held a special place in my heart for foreign languages, there’s something so enchanting that goes on in trying to reach out and communicate with other languages. 040423 ... Mahayana girl_jane, Thank you for your heartfelt words and for even remembering me to ask what had happened to me. I miss this place even though I had left on rather impolite terms—blather was always my safety net and now that i find myself falling again – ive found comfort in these words, in the people that leave their impressions here, and in blather’s company… [i cant believe im crying right now] anyhow … someday everything in life will make sense and perhaps if im allowed to do so i shall share what i have learned with others – in hopes that life will be all that much more beautiful to them… and less painful... to me than all of this would have all been worth something-- all the suffering and crying ive done... all the hard lessons and all the pain ive caused others will not have been in selfish vein-ness hopefully there’ll still be space left here for me although i truly do not feel worthy of any allotment … thank you for your welcome back – it means more than you could ever realize, not just to my eyes but my souls very fabric 040423 ... Mahayana to anyone ive ever pissed off and/or hurt here ... im sorry im such a horrible person sometimes, please forgive me -- so that i may also learn to forgive myself 040423 ... Mahayana to anyone ive ever pissed off and/or hurt here ... im sorry im such a horrible person sometimes, please forgive me -- so that i may also learn to forgive myself 040423 ... magicforest It meant...without doubt, you are here for adoring. People never give themselves the love they deserve. It's all right, Mahayana. All of it. Your personal Arahantship floats around you. 040423 ... Jenna me too. 040423 ... Mahayana Thank you nomme [not that this matters but my nickname is High School was Nome-- everytime i read your name i reminisce about all the fond memories i had there --just thought id share]. Nomme, ive never gotten the chance to appreciate your writing style here but it has always intrigued me, please keep on contributing-- it is appreciated. and Jenna (great big hugs) my goodness I havent bumped into you in ages, how the hell are you --god i miss ya girl-- and our late late night companionship of insomnia, writing, and beating each other our for the word associations [gage me with a spoon] Dont be a stranger here missy -- its not the same without you here. magicforest, i do not think i ever would be worthy enough to attain Arahantship; however, what a blessing it would truly be to reach such a level in life... i treasure the fact that you even know of the beauty that is in this word Arahantship. 040424 ... magicforest Stop condemning yourself. You are in no position and have no such right to do such a thing. If you think that you are worthless...you aren't, I can tell you that, but you certainly are a terrible judge of self-worth. My god, people act as though pain is a plateau, but it really isn't. When do you ever lay your burdens down and rest? How do you ever catch your breath when you run and run yourself sick? Don't you see how perfect you are already, Mahayana? wishes she could melt the broken 040424 ... dosquatch _ hasn't been around in almost five days now. Does anybody know if (she?) is alright? 040525 ... Mahayana Yes, I'm alright... thank-you for your concern i had been out of town for several days [went to see my girlfriend (which i met on blather over 2yrs and 3months ago) graduate from vassar college, meet her family for the first time, unpacked her dorm room and then we drove back home together for over 14 hours --from NY to WI] and once we got back i had to unpack and cram for one of two finals which i had taken yesterday and now i am onto the cramming for this Saturdays final. 040526 ... ! :] 050402 ... dreamer Mahayana, what's a hinayana? 050407 ... jane am sorry you're not in new york anymore - was always hoping to meet you - perhaps someday 050407 ... Mahayana Hinayana (Sanskrit: "inferior vehicle"; Chinese:小乘, Xiǎochěng; Japanese: Shōjō) is a term coined by the Mahayana, which appeared publicly around the 1st century CE. There are differing views on the use and meaning of the term, both among scholars and within Buddhism. [Etymology] The Monier-Williams Sanskrit-English Dictionary (Oxford, 1899), gives a translation of 'Hinayana' as: Proper Noun: "simpler or lesser vehicle. Name of the earliest system of Buddhist doctrine (opposite to Mahayana; see Yana).". However, according to Pali text society, the word hina in sanskrit and pali has much derogatory meaning. Hina : 1.inferior, low; poor, miserable; vile, base, abject, contemptible, despicable 2. deprived of, wanting, lacking Correct word for the term "lesser" is "Culla" or in Sanskrit "Ksulla=ksudra" Culla & cula : small, minor (opp. maha great, major) 050421 ... Mahayana Jane, i am sorry that i am no longer in NY as well -- it would have been nice to have met you. but perhaps someday i shall return for a visit. Do you permanently reside within NY? [one never knows where i will go for a visit -- i just got back from Canada less than a week ago -- so who knows maybe there is time for us to meet yet] 050421 ... jane actually i just moved now i'm in arizona & will be moving back to california at the end of may 050503 ... Mahayana who knows what the crazy celestial equator has in store ... the world isn’t that large when you break it down to coincidence and the small world that it truly is. [I wouldn’t be surprised if I bumped into every blatherskite & didn’t even know it] 050520 ... Toxic_Kisses Still.. I still think about you Still wishing I could be as brave Still look at the stars and thinking of your hair Still hoping your happy wherever you may be Your still on my mind 080819 ... Mahayana Toxic_Kisses! I've just come across your message now. :) I think about you as well especially when I visit blather and come across your words and contributions to our beautiful blue world. There is always enough time to be as brave as one wants to be. Just take risks in small steps. Do things that you wouldn't normally attempt to do. And celebrate those attempts no matter how seemingly small. Also give yourself credit for all the wonderful things that you do now that does take some amount of courage. I am the happiest I have been in a really long time - even despite having some health complications. :) You are still on my mind and in my heart as well TK. I hope life has been good to you. Thank you for sharing your kind words with me. What a blessing they are. 090126 what's it to you? who go blather from