paxil rubydee "we don't know exactly what it does..." in other words you probably shouldn't even ask becasue there is no answer. and you hate not getting an answer. i know you. 010620 ... girl_jane I've been on it twice. Both times I "forgot" to get it refilled because I didn't want to have to take a tiny yellow pill each morning to be happy. I wanted to be happy on my own. The doctor said last time that I'd have to be on it for about 5 years to be completely ok. I stayed on it for about 5 weeks before I got tired of it. I've been fine for a while, almost a year, but I can feel myself slipping back. I drive 1/2 an hour to school and again on the way home. Most days, on my way home, I start crying once I get out of the city and stop just in time for my face to cool before my mom sees me. Sometimes I'll stop on a gravel road and scream until it feels like my throat is on fire and bursting out of my body. I'm thinking I might go back to the doctor's. I'll see you soon little yellow pills... 020503 ... Abbie Doesn't make me happier... it just makes me numb. I read three articles about it: 1. It's one of the only two antidepressants that are addictive 2. All the research done on it was on adults, not adolescents (i.e., me) 3. One in fifteen children/adolescents on it become homicidal. As in, they kill someone. I decided to stop taking it. 040209 ... rubydee she's back on it. and in some ways it makes me insanely jealous of the stolen serotonin excess, borrowed from tomorrow. call me a pleasure_delayer these days. 040319 what's it to you? who go blather from