dreams
Quintessensual unfettered imagination of desire and situation 991113
...
trakie the only thing worth living for 991114
...
clundicus I am slightly deranged
from missing you. Minor
misalignments of motion and meaning
unhinge me.

I have collected your hairs
from the brush on the dresser
in an effort to weave a tiny you.

I have named one of the pillows for you.
Confused by the relentless
passage of day to night, I forget
the particulars and call them all dear.

Without you here I have grown
a beard underneath each arm
and sideburns on my legs.

I have traded in the Technicolor
for chiaroscuro. Lost the last chapter
of the Gothic. Checked in
as a winter guest at a summer hotel.

I tap out your number
and sneak through your empty
rooms in sound waves.

Not finding your scent in the living
room, I return to the closet
for your salmon chamois shirt.
I wear it and take us out for dinner.
991202
...
marjorie the remnants of life, waiting to create something new. 991228
...
andrea dreams never meant to come true
at least not for me
i know how i'm choosing to live
but never imagined it would lead to this
incredibly magical and beautiful person
who sets me at ease the moment we speak
the one who turns me inside out
with a single glance...a soft word
i'm not sure where this is going
i only know that it feels right

copyright 2000
000101
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king kai see you there 000102
...
deb it's getting later by the minute
as usual
but my eyes cry a bit more loudly tonight
wishing i would just go to bed
and stamping my foot like a child,
i scream
I DONT WANNA

i'll be asleep in five mintues or so...
000102
...
valis i have them, but can't remember. been like that since age 12.

what's it like to be stuck here forever, never getting a peek of the clouds?
000103
...
king kai only in dreams - you'll see what it means - to reach out your hand - and hold onto hers - but when you wake - it's all been erased - and so it seems - only in dreams

=W=
000103
...
gaudior to dream...

...is to gather stars between your skin and your soul so that you radiate light and being to everything you approach.

...is to reclaim yesterday, and to improve tomorrow.

...is to restore balance to a psyche to easily overturned in days of emotional pressure exceeding even the lengths to which we will strive for even a tiny strand of ephemeral joy.

...is to find that ephemeral joy and to spread it to everyone you meet.
000115
...
fucked plague me in my sleep. prevent me from getting rest. forcing me to relive the problems of the day that i attempt to shed at night. 000220
...
camille The escape of fermented subconciousness from reality..
A place where we can experience what we could not experience in reality.
000221
...
Quake are often realizable. Fantasies rarely are. As wonderful as fantasy often is, do not confuse it with dream. 000221
...
Christy I drempt that you didn't know me, that I just walked past you and you didn't see, which is sad because if you can't recognize my soul than who else has any hope? 000301
...
lotusflower i can never remember them. 000306
...
amy i say believe in dreams, and even the strange dream where a dream is not a dream. 000313
...
Mika a hopeless hope struggling to remain on the cliff ledge
a senseless thought hysterical with unencumbered glee
a dancer drifting through a rain storm
a shadow of a moment
a quiet summer dream
a hope, not yet lost to age
a thought not yet soiled by knowledge
a dancer dancing over the flames
000313
...
girl u and me in a nice comfy apartment. just the two of us and some pets.
no more dramas
no more dramatic friends
only u and me in our own happy little world
000327
...
c-spandrea. "yes i've got these dreams and you're in them all.." 000501
...
birdmad the premonition dream that has haunted me since i was twelve years old.

i will die badly in a cold place, and the sound of my last breath bleeding out will be drowned out by the sound of the sea and storm outside
000503
...
verzonni rapid application development radically reduces rapid eye movement 000525
...
lisa_is_bionic Ever hear of lucid dreaming? It's not the power trip Matthew makes it out to be. I had to force myself into a seizure in order to wakeup.

Why do people talk in ICQ dialogue boxes in my dreams?
000526
...
gigaphairy Sometimes I think they're a projection of my greatest fears...
Sometimes I think they're all aspects of my life spilled out onto my subconsious...
Then I go and dream about something completly random which can't be connected to anything.
Damn those illusive dreams, why can't I remember you all?
000704
...
sumyungi Yeah... it keeps coming back... I... I... (I tried, thank you)
there was that time when I was going to drown and someone said something and I noticed that there was definitely something to do with some sort of machine?
000810
...
sarpedon Dreams have no bearing on reality
The real world is too cruel
To full of control
And of fate
Rather dreams reflect
The world as it should be
A dream is a viewport
Into the world
Seen from the eyes of a child
000810
...
The Schleiffen Man What does it mean when you beat yourself up in a dream? I seriously kicked my own ass. Except The ass kicker was present me and the ass kickee was the 5 year old me. In a tee ball uniform. I guess that's what happens when you try to invade my private mall, no matter who you are. 000824
...
claw are where I am true 000826
...
Jon Are being together again. But dreams are oft' Never realized. But things can change. And so do dreams. I love you. 001005
...
j_blue are something some of us run low on. 001005
...
nicedream i never remember 001021
...
*CatMeow* I have a lot of dreams about drinking... they always take place in the wardroom, and i'm surrounded by friends, half-loaded, on my way to fully-loaded, beer in hand, in my monogrammed, personalized mug, it's always a keith's, bottle, not draught, and the prices are always unbelievably cheap, always chain-smoking, laughing my ass off at some dumb frosh who can't handle the power of the wardroom, thinking if they don't know how to handle it, it's best they leave it alone, but me and my friends, we're pros, never missed a happy hour yet... oh wait, god i'm dumb, that's my reality... 001207
...
kx21 Unlimited possibilities

Beautiful / Strange / American/ Pipe /
Day / Night / Wet / Dry / Happy / Sad/
.../ ???
Dreams

It is far beyond and more than your brain, your body and the Universe?
001207
...
jackie at night, alone in my room
again, about to go
inside a world
which seems better then
the one i stand each day
a place were the truth speaks out..
last night i was dreaming
you were with another girl
today i felt it was true
tommorow i will
see it come true
001228
...
domingo still a distant cry from what we truly thrive for that is something like a light at the end of a tunnel, such as death, but wait i can open my eyes, am i an angel? no, just rested and ready to live on this heavenly earth. 010102
...
Ajuna I wish i could dream of hte past
Dream of the days with nothing but play
When mum and dad treat us as kids
When i don't care, I wish

I wish i could remeber my dreams
maybe then i might know whom my dream girl is
Is she slim, chubby, ugly, pretty, happy or sad, i wish i could remember

i wish i could pay more attention in my dreams, to be more attentive in that limbo world.

I wish i could jusst live in dreams, i wish i could lie in estacy, sleep in contemp and swim in joy, i wixh i could live in a dream.
I wish my dreams had COLOUR.
010102
...
rolynd Create your reality.. LUCID is the way to go. 010103
...
coral to sleep perchance to dream 010131
...
mana I had a dream last night
that a little girl came to me
her hair was a halo of warm light and color dripped off her tongue
010225
...
mana I had a dream last night
that a little girl came to me
her hair was a halo of warm light and color dripped off her tongue
010225
...
martinslove I dream of you Martin my love , always , no matter what , i dream of you , tasting you kisses feel your warmth 010225
...
kx21 Quantum phenomena... 010225
...
p. drive you, move you. make you who you are. don't give up on them, because if you do, what's left? Let the magic and illusion consume your un/conscious thoughts and drift on what may be. For if your dreams fade, what's stopping life from following? 010227
...
unique butterfly i dream at night of places i've never seen.
people i've never met.
things i've never heard of.
these haunt me through the day.
i write them down.
with a smile and frown.
where'd they come from?
anohter planet maybe.
who really knows.
i like these dreams.
why can't i dream more?
010309
...
johnny west my dreams have been murdered.
i used to dream of so many different things. and now i am left with fragmented pieces of shit that resemble nothing and are rarely memorable. sexual? no. no consumation, no pleasure, NOTHING.
now i find the time before sleep most satisfying. i can fantasize about anything, miles away from reality.
MORE FUN FOR ME!
010309
...
monadh awake in the night
I dream in the mist
surrounded by the rain
a part of one
moments passing
in time there is
no waking hours
only dreams of you
dreams of a summer wind
a stormy sky
a gentle smile
and a love that is my heart
my soul's embrace
awaken the night
010310
...
Aimee My dreams are in colour with THX remastering for sound quality... 010310
...
mikey ::sneaks up on aimee::: is there one thing you dream of the most? 010310
...
Aimee hmmmmm.. lately? the fear of being alone in the world. or just not being able to make anything of myself... just watch I'll end up being insanely rich and famous. 010310
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mikey your not alone darling 010310
...
nocturnal The other night I had a dream that I won a contest and I got to have Ricky Martin come and help me with my calculus. He gave me a hug and made me spill melted chocolate ice cream on my shirt. So I ran upstairs to change into another shirt. Then all my friends wanted me to take a drive with them somewhere but I said, "no, Ricky's waiting for me downstairs." I went with them anyway without him noticing. Then later on he saved me somehow (I forget what happened, I just know that Ricky Martin saved me) and I felt really bad for having run away from him. I apologized and he said it was okay. Ricky Martin's a nice guy. Anyway, then I woke up. 010324
...
monadh where have I kept you
from whence do you shy
and show your timeless faces
I follow your tracks in the sand
cross moonless seas
from far meandering streams in glens
to quiet and tameless graces
in old memories
always seeking treasures
of sweet abundance
measured by the weight
of time and tide
oh how we do keep
eternity
hid away in our hearts
and burn
with the infinite desire
to dream
010403
...
alegra i have dreams wherein i am safe and loved and warm. last night i had one that felt like being wrapped in a quilt inside of a blanket tent in my room. and you were in it with me. 010411
...
enriquecito "Even if the reality is nebulous, transient, and leaves no souvenirs, I'll take it gladly – the memories are as real as any others. I dreamed, for example, that I unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. A small, seductive glimpse of clavicle, and I could feel myself swoon..." Simcoe says. And I say, "Who is the lucky guy?" 010412
...
Teddybear Last night I had a dream...

I found myself in a desert called "Cyberland"

It was hot, I was thirsty...

Out of ther abyss walked a cow "Elsie"

I asked her if she had anything to drink she said "IIIIII am forbidden to produce, milk. In cyberland we only drink (clank) diet coke...diet coke...diet coke...
010412
...
Special K It wasn't the first dream and maybe not the last - you lucky guy. Once, dear reader, there was even a comingling of legs and arms as, lying together, I reached my hands beneath his shirt and felt a skin whose smooth, warm friction I can only imagine.

It is good that I live alone.
010414
...
enriquecito riding a transparent dream horse across a sea of undulating grasses. just to glimpse the light of her face and the lilting of her beautiful laughter. she stands distant, on the other side of an imaginary boundary line. through the shimmering heat, she smiles back, dissolves, and I, through the curtains of light, I awake in a sea of intoxicating questions. for now. 010416
...
peanut butter startfires peanut butter:
yes i will take you out of the cabinet. i don't know if i would really feel right talking to you. since i know i will soon eat you and i don't think i have the heart to develop a relationship with something before i consume it. actually, that's the way to get the most out of your prey, get it to trust you first. so maybe i will talk to you but just don't be pissed when i eat you on my sandwiches with honey and bananas.
010416
...
Special K Such clichιd delights never happened, I am becoming sure. Fueled by drink, armed with the inquisitive nature of scientists at play; the lovely, lingering memories are as reliable as a fever dream. Or would you call it a nightmare, to at last meet someone whose charming acquaintance would best have been made long ago? 010416
...
Special K Ah, and I find I was right about at least one thing... 010423
...
enriquecito A small wave washed ashore last night, and through the sea-foam I saw her face as that of a timeless and dear love. Something strong beneath the ocean has moved beyond remove, and the pretty fish shimmer in extended time to the little earthquakes. And now, alone and lonely, even as the daylight blares past me at brash and thinkless speed, sweet daydreams and the memory of her touch gently fill my head with light. 010425
...
Special K I came to think aloud and be alone, and instead I revel in the enchantment of unexpected company. Shall I describe my inamorato? He is labyrinthine, he is plain. His eyes have grown warmer, his wary gaze tender. He burns with unseen energy and moves his hands in languid, calming waves. His history lingers in a Doppler echo; the closer I get to him, the louder it becomes. I am contented sitting silently by him, stealing glances, reading his mind – one would think we were fighting, the silence is so loud. No, we are sitting in stillness, hovering somewhere just above words, savoring time. Like dragonflies in amber, complicated and untouchable, we wait, preserved, for the moment when our hands will meet. 010425
...
enriquecito remove enfolds upon itself, making the distance more urgent and the meaning rough, as surface of the world must feel to the touch of a finger that has lost its skin. the air moves and I see whole constellations of symbols flash and shift with my field of view. her words hit hard, as angry rain to a parched field, which must be pounded and broken before it may be nourished to shine anew. 010427
...
flo when i'm not dreaming of lude nuns ( we are a band of frustrated girls all aged between 16 and 19 etc etc) then i usually dream that an evil genius has replaced everybody with perfect replicas of themselves and they spend their days monitoring my movements. 010429
...
carden sometimes my dreams scare me. i wonder if that's what my subconscious is saying and it's how i really feel or if it actually means nothing. i've had some dreams lately that i wonder if that's what i really want or not. who knows... 010504
...
Miner Haunted as I sleep
By dreams of despair
Twisted visions of horror
A night of hopeless fear

A curse of pure pain
With no end in sight
As dreams become desperate
In a tormented night

Such a constant reminder
Of all that I dread
Visions of pure evil
Converge in my head

But how can I run
Where can I hide
To escape all these terrors
Buried deep within my mind
010504
...
Special K Last night I dreamed S. was in hospital, where he lay weak and dying. Horrible, terrifying. I walked into the room and there he was, gaunt, wasted and pale in the sterile white bed, his eyes swollen in their sockets. He wore no shirt, and – my God – the tubes and wires were everywhere. He was ashamed, he turned his face from me as I sat near his bed.

I don't know how he contracted AIDS, but with dream-muddled memories of his life I ran scenarios of drug use, past roommates, suspected lovers, and behaviours I would never have attributed to the man I had thought so innocent. I realized there was another presence with us in the hospital. An enemy.

The enemy was an invisible bully who wanted to eliminate any chances my lover would survive. Standing at the door to the hall I could see him – or rather, I could see the pills he was carrying as they levitated toward the nurses' station. I watched him drop the pills into the glass of water, stir it to pink, and place it with the meds. The nurse walked by, fetched the adulterated glass, and brought it to our room. I took it from her with thanks, and, standing in the doorway with my back to my lover, I waited until she was gone and I drank half the deadly mix. It seemed the martyrly thing to do; if he would be poisoned, so then would I. If nothing else, I would halve the chances it would kill him outright. Once I drank it, though, I knew it wasn't poison, it was a cure. The enemy was trying to help.

"Listen," I told S., with odd dream logic, "He put three of one pill and one of the other in here. You need the three to kill the virus, but you need two of the other to keep your stomach calm and hold down the meds. He only gave you one. We can still get one more and you'll be okay..." That wasn't true, though, because I drank half of the dose. There wouldn't be enough of it now to save him.

Turning to the bed I saw that the thin topsheet had slipped down, revealing his left arm, to which was crudely fastened a makeshift works of tubing and syringe. Heroin. He saw me looking, and pulled the sheet higher.

"I know you're still using," I said calmly, returning to the bed. I wasn't angry, there was no point anymore. (I wondered how he got his works into the hospital and kept it hidden all this time. Addicts. They're clever.)

"How did you contract AIDS?" I thought by now that I knew, but he hesitated before answering.

"Do you know what it's like to feel the pain," he asked, "to feel the shit pouring out of you, the fire?" He turned his face away.

I don't know why it didn't occur to me, that for him to be so ill he would have contracted long before, but in my mind I counted back six months and placed the date at Christmas. How many times had we made love since Christmas? Was I infected?

"I have to go," I said, rising. "I'll come back soon." I walked out into the sun, down tree-lined neighborhood streets. Keven and I are leaving town, I thought to myself. The farther I walked, the less important it seemed what happened behind me. There was nothing I could do about it, anyway.

I phoned him about this dream this morning, and he laughed his ass off. I started crying, and he laughed harder. "You're so ridiculous," he said, "I don't even smoke pot!" That's the way he is, nothing means anything and he just can't see the forest for the trees.
010509
...
blindforyou their like my heartbeats
so real and essential
so regular and important
that i forget they are there
i can't decifer wether they
are real
or just little
puppet shows of
my true reality.
but all too often
i exist in their reality,
making it a fine line to my own...
010509
...
JT walk the wor(l)ds we haven't found.

Try to look and find, try to leave behind the angel cries of ranson love in the ectatic creaking mansion of sovereign rainbow souls we have not yet found.
010510
...
carden in my dream we were the closest friends
in my dream he told her he had changed
in my dream i told myself i'd marry him
it makes me feel at peace
i wish i could go back to that dream
but maybe that's all it is...a dream
010511
...
cali j Do you think (through them) we are connected in some way? 010518
...
BrittStar i see the world...i see you...in all your glory...so perfect...so tangible...so close...yet so far...i wish for the day when our paths will cross...i hope for the moment our eyes will meet...but all i have are my dreams 010525
...
cali j Whats up with the dead people in dreamz I dreamed of john lennon? Weird. 010531
...
Special_k Three, of him, while I was away. 010606
...
Dafremen Well hello there chamaca!

Howz Mr. Smooth as peanut butter n axle grease doing?
010606
...
Special K He's been a bit ill. I worry sometimes, you know, whether he's eating well, getting enough sleep, wearing his seatbelt. Gay stuff like that. *sigh* Kill me. 010606
...
nocturnal at work I've been having a lot of dreams about celebraties lately. I recently had one where I befriended britney spears. I had a couple before that about hanging out with sean penn, but it was when he was younger. he acted just like spicolli from fast times. it was awesome. 010606
...
Mordecai Richler "Waaa..."

Somebody shook him. "Duddy, wake up! Duddy! It's me, Lennie."

Max rushed into the room. "What's going on here?"

"It's Duddy. He had a nightmare."

"You O.K.? You want a coke or something? Tea?"

"Listen, Duddy. Listen closely. I want you to try to remember everything about your dream." Lennie grabbed a pencil and paper. "Anything that comes into your head you tell me. I'll analyse it for you."

"Jeez."

"Go ahead. Tell him."

"I dreamt I was screwing this broad," Duddy said.

"That's my boy."

"Were there any doors? Did you have to go through passages to get to her? What made you-"

"There was a bed like. Her cans were something out of this world..."

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Lennie said, putting his pencil and paper away.

"What'sa matter?" Max asked. "Aren't you interested in that kind of dream? Go ahead. Duddy. I'm listening."

"Are you making tea?"

They couldn't get back to sleep again. Max and Lennie sat at the kitchen table and Duddy made one of his huge and intricate omelettes.

"I don't get it," Max said, getting out his back-scratcher. "If you were in bed with this broad why did you scream?"

"She bit my toe."

"Even if you didn't dream that," Lennie said. "It's a very significant remark."

"Hey," Max said. "What did you put in this omelette?"

"It's great," Lennie said. "Duddy makes the best omelette this side of Rio Grande."
010606
...
cali j Ok I dreamed of ghandi whats going on?
I wished him much peace and happiness or something like that.
010613
...
nocturnal at work the other night I had ANOTHER dream that I was friends with britney spears. this can't be good. 010613
...
Dafremen Hey what a co-inky-dink, I had a dream that Justin Timberlake and I were good friends. Hey! Maybe we can double date?! 010613
...
Dafremen In our dreams only of course! As addicted as you may be to me, I must remain true to my hunny-chile shugah-plum. 010613
...
birdmad last night i dreamed i bought an animal at a pet store, but the animal did not know what kind of animal it was and kept changing into something else.

first it was a snake, a constrictor, it had iridescent purple scales and fluorescent green eyes

as i was playing with it and showing it off to my friends, it changed and grew legs and ran around the room like a miniature velociraptor but without the element of danger

it disappeared down the hall and came back as a white cat

in the dream i fell asleep and when i awoke inside the dream, some of my clothes were missing from my closet and my extra pair of boots were gone too and the house had been trashed

the ground was muddy and the sky was the dark grey brown of a thunderstorm with a dust storm following on the front of it

as i opened the door to step outside, i awoke to the real world and the start of my day.

what the hell did any of that mean?
010613
...
nocturnal at work oh daffy, you jsut broke my heart. 010613
...
nocturnal at work somthing's screwy here. 010613
...
nocturnal at work and it's my spelling. nevermind that, something weird happened, but it's gone now. 010613
...
enriquecito he's probably okay, i rectum. wearing a seatbelt is not the most necessary thing in this world, you know! 010614
...
Special K I dreamed of him last night. He asked me why I would not risk my life for a cause in which I believed.

"I've already been hurt," I told him sternly, "I don't want to die."

He was unmoved, and casually handed his girlfriend a plate of food to bring to a customer.

"This, coming from you, who know so many men," he chided. "How am I supposed to take that?"

"You're right," I answered, "I know men. And I know this one's going to kill me."
010627
...
Sol I dreamt that i was creeping through a forest at high speed to reach a house in the centre of it, in a small clearing, i eventually got to it and inside it was nothing, simply an absence of anything, including light. I went inside it (?) and saw through the window looking in (i dont remember why i had to find the cottage, i just did) a huge black bear, again not black in colour but simply not reflecting any light, absorbing it all, i could still see definitions in form on it though, it was blocky and artificial, and seemed to be made from a rubberish material. I fled from it and ended up being chased by a group of large dogs, all of similar description, and people on horseback, again of the same description. i managed to evade most of them and ended up being chased by a single dog. I reached a clearing stretching to the end of the forest and ran full pelt towards the limit, knowing i would be safe there. reaching it with the dog just behind, I jumped, every thing went dazrk and i reappeared about a metre behind the perimeter, i repeated this, in terror whil the dog stood by and laughed, i realised that there was a small band that it could not go into that i could and I stood there petrified. unable to move
"you'll never escape now" it said. and than started to apparently recite shakespearian plays.
010627
...
Sol the last two items were unrelated, it was not literature i was running fomr, incidentally, but the dog was reciting it almost involuntarily and it all started to make sense (then i moved onto another dream) 010627
...
power through passion you know, clinically speaking
dreams are what keep us from going insane
they exist
so that we can process
the information gathered
throughout the previous day

strange
that they should sometimes scare us
no, I take that back
the world is a pretty scary place
010719
...
jacobcansk8 i promise to meet you there nightly seeing yo smile for me seeing you move they way you do they way no one else can and i will smile in my sleep and my mom will worry about me but when i wake it doesn't end cause i will see today again and see the dream in real life and i hope i get them confused and don't know when i am awake and when i am asleep 010722
...
baby satan dreams aren't like movies. they aren't like sardines, either. they're more like toothpicks, in that you can hold them like a joint and disturb your faraway mates with visions of invisible marijuana. 010722
...
birdkiller the dreams are back. They first started at the beginning of october. i had One every morning in that time between true sleep and actual consciousness. They were all unique but still very similar. it was as though each Dream was a continuation of all the previous Dreams. there were six days last week in which my mind was not invaded. then They began again monday morning. i had One yesterday and another this morning. this morning's Dream was different from the Others. slightly. the story was continuos, but not once did i see Heather. she has been a major part of all the other Ones (which is part of the reason They plague me), so why was she not in this One? i have tried to make sense of Them but i still don't understand Their meaning. i tend to be good at reading my dreams and my conclusions are usually quite accurate. but These have me baffled. the only relevant piece i can pull from Them is Heather, and i attribute that to the fact that i never stopped loving her.
my mind is too cluttered to continue.
011025
...
ClairE Dreams are ghostly and pretty and colored.

My dreams are boring and difficult,
much like life itself.

Once I dreamt I was a slave.

Sometimes I dream that boys love me,
and that shocks me to the core,
more so than when the girls do.
011127
...
rogue I dream of you. 011129
...
shhiva dreams are the only thing in this world that can always make you feel well, even when your life is a complete miserie. 011228
...
reitoei wisps of unknown thoughts gliding through my silent mind.
fantasies and freedom
crystal clear in deathly sleep
slide to wakefulness and they slip away,
so tantalizingly close but untouchable, unremembered. gone with the night, forever.
maybe i'll fly away with them, someday, someday...
011228
...
ClairE You're already in my concrete and one_way ones.

I can't wait until you finally appear at night, while I'm unaware. Maybe you won't be scared away, when I'm breathing easily in the dark.
011228
...
M...A..C.... sometimes i wish the world and memories that i know so well were only dreams. sometimes i want to wake up from this harsh, painful reality i live in and see what my real life is like. is everything the same or is everything different? are all of my friends there? is she there?
wait...
do i really want to wake up?
do i really want to start over again in a place i am unfilmiliar with? i think i will stay here. stay asleep, or awake, which ever one i am right now. eyes covered to keep the light out with friends by my side, we are having fun.
020105
...
kerry i dreamed i met Gwen Stefani in a mall and she told me i was beautiful

and then i got in a dirty explorer with a boy who drove me to a falling-down, abandoned barn where we lay on dirty pillows and listened to music.
020106
...
optic discretion the little parts of life that keep me sane ... 020127
...
sotto voce the colors behind these lids of mine
all so hellish and divine
for hours i lie awake at night
when i close my eyes and read my mind
beyond all shades of reds and blues
transcending crayola's newest hues
they paint the story of my day in scenes
that shame, enlighten, entertain, dismay
these colors dictate the dreams that follow and i surrender my night to the beasts of my fears, insecurities and to the heroes representing my victories and my moments in the glorious shine.. and they battle it out in a brilliant display lasting for years in dreamspan but only for a moment, really, until i awaken and it is a brand new day and i feel fine or or shitty, and the words no longer rhyme, and now i'm going to make some tea and try to get to sleep.
020225
...
lycanthrope i don't dream as much anymore.
But when i do, i seem to know it.
There must've been a time when dreams were crushingly large,
when they diminished as much as informed. In a time when everything was necessary, anything could be the only thing needed, the only thing to be avoided, nothing was so valuable that it could be dismissed. There was a time when there was no distinction. But dreams have done their duty, distinction has been made, waking was the goal, and still is, we always reach for it. But in moments of denied regret, we hear whispers of what it is we are really missing, we see that indeed that person over there is changing into a sun, that our mind is flowing, that all matter is energy condensed to a hum and that no meaning is beyond losing its anchor when the eyes are closed and the world floats off its mooring, barely surviving the experiments of its own microcosms
020302
...
Syrope "Once we were lovers,
But somehow things have changed.
Now we're just lonely people
Tryin' to forget each others' names.
What came between us?
Maybe we were just too young to know.
But now and then I feel the same.
And sometimes at night
I think I hear you callin' my name.
Mm, mm, mm, these dreams,
They keep me goin' these days..."
--Jim Croce

"Sweet dreams.."
"I can never go to sleep and have sweet dreams; you are already real."

dreams, when my brain exhales and the vapors float away, taking the toxins of stress and depression with them. when once again im ok. everything is ok.
020325
...
Syrope I usually dream that i have something really great, and by the end of the dream i've lost it, and i wake up unhappy...either frustrated, in tears, or both.

Me: [have a nice nap]...dream about me
G: you know you don't have to tell me to, right?
Me: aw :-) hehe
020407
...
trinityade Dreams pass by in one motion, as if to say, this is what you want to happen...but won't. Then they laugh at u with disgust. 020408
...
little wonder they make me feel so incredible. i wish i could capture that feeling with words or pictures or just...anything. it takes too much away from it. i want to remember every little detail and colour and word of every single dream. i want to be able to close my eyes and picture it exactly as i dreamt it, repeating whenever i want. when someone tells me about a dream they had i want to be able to see it like they did, instead of the sloppy pictures in my head.
i want to have more dreams like my house_dream, playing over and over but each time a little different. each time showing just a little more.
020513
...
green eyes when ever I sleep on the sofa, in the livingroom, i always have a dream about flying even if it is only a small nap, I'll be flying in the dream.
crazy huh??
020514
...
december how come i never jump off the cliff?
or look at the monster in the eye?
why don't i ever take chances
in my dreams that i wouldn't
be able to do in real life?
020807
...
december how come i never jump off the cliff?
or look at the monster in the eye?
why don't i ever take chances
in my dreams that i wouldn't
be able to take in real life?
020807
...
abstraction are made winding ..
through my head
020812
...
abstraction are made winding
through my head
020812
...
aelia everything i desire
beyond my fingertips
everything i fear
playing out before my eyes
in dreams we find the truth
or what has eluded us for so long
in dreams we find what we forget
but memory has remembered
020830
...
devalis "...inconsistent angel things, horses bred with star-laced wings, but it's so hard to make them fly."

(Sixpence None The Richer)

I used to have lucid dreams. Those were always the best because if anything went wrong, I acknowledged that I was dreaming and changed whatever it was accordingly. When I got into highschool, I stopped. It just wouldn't happen anymore. Do you think that has something to do with innocence? Control and confidence, even in dreams, because it fades as you get older.
020830
...
altair do you ever wake up with words on your tongue? with colours and lights dancing in your head? do you ever wake up with dreams trying to escape? 021115
...
spades41 i see an old man in my late night visions, and the terror i feel when he is near is so palpable, i can almost taste it. 021124
...
*silent screams When dreams and reality collide, i see ur face. When heaven and earth touch, i feel your warm embrace. When the moonlight brightens the darkest vallies, my heart cries out.... 021207
...
Rhin various studies have shown that everyone dreams during the REM cycle. if you think you don't dream at all, or believe that you dream less than before, you just don't remember them. i think the average dream time per night is 100 minutes (total), with most of the dream activity occuring before waking. studies have also shown that the only people who do not experience REM sleep are those who have been blind since childbirth. i'm going to assume that this is because dreams are believed to be made up of images sparking images sparking images upon images, and so on. however, people with varying forms of retardation, brain damage, or who have abused their bodies with drugs and/or alcohol may have an impaired dream process, but they do dream. by the way, i think a REM cycle occurs every 90 minutes. if you cannot remember any dreams at all, and you can get your hands on a heart monitor (good luck!), then hook it up, and go to sleep. however, ask a willing friend to sit awake throughout the night, beside you, to monitor the monitor. a period(s) of increased heart rate is believed to be your REM cycle. if you are awakened during this time period(s), you may be more likely to remember a dream or several dreams for that matter. 021217
...
p2 i don't remember most of my dreams
i don't think i want to
i was told once
that i was screaming in my sleep
fighting someone
or something
but i don't remember any of it
i have a good friend
and his name is
repression
021218
...
Zander Dreams take the innermost fragments of your soul and puts them right in front of your eyes. 030101
...
cielo del verano i found you zander. i like what you said.

dreams reflect perspective.
our thoughts walk by again.
the day runs around in metaphoric visions, expressing ourselves to ourselves.

watch for their premonitions.

or maybe they mean nothing.
030104
...
Boyd "they say that dreams are only real as long as they last. but couldnt you say the same abou life?"

"dream is destiny..."
030201
...
Gilraen (s.h.o.t.h) So sad
So sweet

In Dreams - Howard Shore/Fran Walsh

When the cold of winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain
But in dreams
I can hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again
When the seas and mountains fall
And we come to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again
030228
...
pajama The Doctors say that the dreams are just my brain trying to make sence of an uncommonly high frequency of random electircal stimulation bursts....
All i know is that some times i fly..
sometimes i breathe underwater...
sometimes i meet people ive never seen before...
Sometimes i fear for my life....
Sometimes i live periods of different lives..
I say they may be, but there memories of my life..
030304
...
Eowithien Memories of previous lives and the only link between me and the world I've always wanted to live in (which does exist, just not here). 030318
...
Eowithien Lately I've been dreaming for a kitten, good grades, books, and a boyfriend. 030318
...
Jen-Jen You will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not. 030424
...
learning lifes greatest lessons I want to be able to dream again, I haven't in such a long time. 030508
...
ferret i had this dream where i was walking down this corridor of all these doors, and all the people standing in the doorways were waving at me like they knew me. at the end of the corridor there was this buy standing in front of this closed door. i went up to him. he said
"so you have found me at last!"
i said
"yeah"
he said
"would you like to ask me a question?"
i said
"yeah ok, am i made of soap?"
and then i woke up laughing hysterically.
030708
...
ferret sweet dreams are made of these
who am i to dissagree?
i've traveled the world and the seven seas
everybody's looking for SOMETHING!!!

marilyn manson - sweet dreams, now that's an intersting video
030709
...
Saphfire My dreams show me what lies ahead and what's fallen behind. Many have come true and there will be many more. Listen to your dreams, they tell you what you don't want to hear. 030714
...
ferret i_dream about_puddles
eyedream about_poodles
030714
...
xXShadow_GoddessXx Dreams...lost within our lives...all that we will see or have seen is but a dream within a dream... 030811
...
Dafremen what_the_hands_of_man_hath_wrought 030811
...
Sam Vaknin Are dreams a source of reliable divination? Generations upon generations seem to have thought so. They incubated dreams by travelling afar, by fasting and by engaging in all other manners of self deprivation or intoxication. With the exception of this highly dubious role, dreams do seem to have three important functions:

To process repressed emotions (wishes, in Freud's speech) and other mental content which was suppressed and stored in the unconscious.
To order, classify and, generally, to pigeonhole conscious experiences of the day or days preceding the dreaming ("day residues"). A partial overlap with the former function is inevitable: some sensory input is immediately relegated to the darker and dimmer kingdoms of the subconscious and unconscious without being consciously processed at all.
To "stay in touch" with the outside world. External sensory input is interpreted by the dream and represented in its unique language of symbols and disjunction. Research has shown this to be a rare event, independent of the timing of the stimuli: during sleep or immediately prior to it. Still, when it does happen, it seems that even when the interpretation is dead wrong – the substantial information is preserved. A collapsing bedpost (as in Maury's famous dream) will become a French guillotine, for instance. The message conserved: there is physical danger to the neck and head.
All three functions are part of a much larger one:

The continuous adjustment of the model one has of one's self and of one's place in the world – to the incessant stream of sensory (external) input and of mental (internal) input. This "model modification" is carried out through an intricate, symbol laden, dialogue between the dreamer and himself. It probably also has therapeutic side benefits. It would be an over-simplification to say that the dream carries messages (even if we were to limit it to correspondence with one's self). The dream does not seem to be in a position of privileged knowledge. The dream functions more like a good friend would: listening, advising, sharing experiences, providing access to remote territories of the mind, putting events in perspective and in proportion and provoking. It, thus, induces relaxation and acceptance and a better functioning of the "client". It does so, mostly, by analysing discrepancies and incompatibilities. No wonder that it is mostly associated with bad emotions (anger, hurt, fear). This also happens in the course of successful psychotherapy. Defences are gradually dismantled and a new, more functional, view of the world is established. This is a painful and frightening process. This function of the dream is more in line with Jung's view of dreams as "compensatory". The previous three functions are "complementary" and, therefore, Freudian.

It would seem that we are all constantly engaged in maintenance, in preserving that which exists and inventing new strategies for coping. We are all in constant psychotherapy, administered by ourselves, day and night. Dreaming is just the awareness of this on-going process and its symbolic content. We are more susceptible, vulnerable, and open to dialogue while we sleep. The dissonance between how we regard ourselves, and what we really are and between our model of the world and reality – this dissonance is so enormous that it calls for a (continuous) routine of evaluation, mending and re-invention. Otherwise, the whole edifice might crumble. The delicate balance between we, the dreamers, and the world might be shattered, leaving us defenceless and dysfunctional.

To be effective, dreams must come equipped with the key to their interpretation. We all seem to possess an intuitive copy of just such a key, uniquely tailored to our needs, to our data and to our circumstances. This Areiocritica helps us to decipher the true and motivating meaning of the dialogue. This is one reason why dreaming is discontinuous: time must be given to interpret and to assimilate the new model. Four to six sessions take place every night. A session missed will be held the night after. If a person is prevented from dreaming on a permanent basis, he will become irritated, then neurotic and then psychotic. In other words: his model of himself and of the world will no longer be usable. It will be out of synch. It will represent both reality and the non-dreamer wrongly. Put more succinctly: it seems that the famous "reality test" (used in psychology to set apart the "functioning, normal" individuals from those who are not) is maintained by dreaming. It fast deteriorates when dreaming is impossible. This link between the correct apprehension of reality (reality model), psychosis and dreaming has yet to be explored in depth. A few predictions can be made, though:

The dream mechanisms and/or dream contents of psychotics must be substantially different and distinguished from ours. Their dreams must be "dysfunctional", unable to tackle the unpleasant, bad emotional residue of coping with reality. Their dialogue must be disturbed. They must be represented rigidly in their dreams. Reality must not be present in them not at all.
Most of the dreams, most of the time must deal with mundane matters. Their content must not be exotic, surrealist, extraordinary. They must be chained to the dreamer's realities, his (daily) problems, people that he knows, situations that he encountered or is likely to encounter, dilemmas that he is facing and conflicts that he would have liked resolved. This, indeed, is the case. Unfortunately, this is heavily disguised by the symbol language of the dream and by the disjointed, disjunctive, dissociative manner in which it proceeds. But a clear separation must be made between subject matter (mostly mundane and "dull", relevant to the dreamer's life) and the script or mechanism (colourful symbols, discontinuity of space, time and purposeful action).
The dreamer must be the main protagonist of his dreams, the hero of his dreamy narratives. This, overwhelmingly, is the case: dreams are egocentric. They are concerned mostly with the "patient" and use other figures, settings, locales, situations to cater to his needs, to reconstruct his reality test and to adapt it to the new input from outside and from within.
If dreams are mechanisms, which adapt the model of the world and the reality test to daily inputs – we should find a difference between dreamers and dreams in different societies and cultures. The more "information heavy" the culture, the more the dreamer is bombarded with messages and data – the fiercer should the dream activity be. Every external datum likely generates a shower of internal data. Dreamers in the West should engage in a qualitatively different type of dreaming. We will elaborate on this as we continue. Suffice it to say, at this stage, that dreams in information-cluttered societies will employ more symbols, will weave them more intricately and the dreams will be much more erratic and discontinuous. As a result, dreamers in information-rich societies will never mistake a dream for reality. They will never confuse the two. In information poor cultures (where most of the daily inputs are internal) – such confusion will arise very often and even be enshrined in religion or in the prevailing theories regarding the world. Anthropology confirms that this, indeed, is the case. In information poor societies dreams are less symbolic, less erratic, more continuous, more "real" and the dreamers often tend to fuse the two (dream and reality) into a whole and act upon it.
To complete their mission successfully (adaptation to the world using the model of reality modified by them) – dreams must make themselves felt. They must interact with the dreamer's real world, with his behaviour in it, with his moods that bring his behaviour about, in short: with his whole mental apparatus. Dreams seem to do just this: they are remembered in half the cases. Results are, probably, achieved without need for cognitive, conscious processing, in the other, unremembered, or disremembered cases. They greatly influence the immediate mood after awakening. They are discussed, interpreted, force people to think and re-think. They are dynamos of (internal and external) dialogue long after they have faded into the recesses of the mind. Sometimes they directly influence actions and many people firmly believe in the quality of the advice provided by them. In this sense, dreams are an inseparable part of reality. In many celebrated cases they even induced works of art or inventions or scientific discoveries (all adaptations of old, defunct, reality models of the dreamers). In numerous documented cases, dreams tackled, head on, issues that bothered the dreamers during their waking hours.
How does this theory fit with the hard facts?

Dreaming (D-state or D-activity) is associated with a special movement of the eyes, under the closed eyelids, called Rapid Eye Movement (REM). It is also associated with changes in the pattern of electrical activity of the brain (EEG). A dreaming person has the pattern of someone who is wide awake and alert. This seems to sit well with a theory of dreams as active therapists, engaged in the arduous task of incorporating new (often contradictory and incompatible) information into an elaborate personal model of the self and the reality that it occupies.

There are two types of dreams: visual and "thought-like" (which leave an impression of being awake on the dreamer). The latter happens without any REM cum EEG fanfare. It seems that the "model-adjustment" activities require abstract thinking (classification, theorizing, predicting, testing, etc.). The relationship is very much like the one that exists between intuition and formalism, aesthetics and scientific discipline, feeling and thinking, mentally creating and committing one's creation to a medium.

All mammals exhibit the same REM/EEG patterns and may, therefore, be dreaming as well. Some birds do it, and some reptiles as well. Dreaming seems to be associated with the brain stem (Pontine tegmentum) and with the secretion of Norepinephrine and Serotonin in the brain. The rhythm of breathing and the pulse rate change and the skeletal muscles are relaxed to the point of paralysis (presumably, to prevent injury if the dreamer should decide to engage in enacting his dream). Blood flows to the genitals (and induces penile erections in male dreamers). The uterus contracts and the muscles at the base of the tongue enjoy a relaxation in electrical activity.

These facts would indicate that dreaming is a very primordial activity. It is essential to survival. It is not necessarily connected to higher functions like speech but it is connected to reproduction and to the biochemistry of the brain. The construction of a "world-view", a model of reality is as critical to the survival of an ape as it is to ours. And the mentally disturbed and the mentally retarded dream as much as the normal do. Such a model can be innate and genetic in very simple forms of life because the amount of information that needs to be incorporated is limited. Beyond a certain amount of information that the individual is likely to be exposed to daily, two needs arise. The first is to maintain the model of the world by eliminating "noise" and by realistically incorporating negating data and the second is to pass on the function of modelling and remodelling to a much more flexible structure, to the brain. In a way, dreams are about the constant generation, construction and testing of theories regarding the dreamer and his ever-changing internal and external environments. Dreams are the scientific community of the Self. That Man carried it further and invented Scientific Activity on a larger, external, scale is small wonder.

Physiology also tells us the differences between dreaming and other hallucinatory states (nightmares, psychoses, sleepwalking, daydreaming, hallucinations, illusions and mere imagination): the REM/EEG patterns are absent and the latter states are much less "real". Dreams are mostly set in familiar places and obey the laws of nature or some logic. Their hallucinatory nature is a hermeneutic imposition. It derives mainly from their erratic, abrupt behaviour (space, time and goal discontinuities) which is ONE of the elements in hallucinations as well.

Why is dreaming conducted while we sleep? Probably, there is something in it which requires what sleep has to offer: limitation of external, sensory, inputs (especially visual ones – hence the compensatory strong visual element in dreams). An artificial environment is sought in order to maintain this periodical, self-imposed deprivation, static state and reduction in bodily functions. In the last 6-7 hours of every sleep session, 40% of the people wake up. About 40% - possibly the same dreamers – report that they had a dream in the relevant night. As we descend into sleep (the hypnagogic state) and as we emerge from it (the hypnopompic state) – we have visual dreams. But they are different. It is as though we are "thinking" these dreams. They have no emotional correlate, they are transient, undeveloped, abstract and expressly deal with the day residues. They are the "garbage collectors", the "sanitation department" of the brain. Day residues, which clearly do not need to be processed by dreams – are swept under the carpet of consciousness (maybe even erased).

Suggestible people dream what they have been instructed to dream in hypnosis – but not what they have been so instructed while (partly) awake and under direct suggestion. This further demonstrates the independence of the Dream Mechanism. It almost does not react to external sensory stimuli while in operation. It takes an almost complete suspension of judgement in order to influence the contents of dreams.

It would all seem to point at another important feature of dreams: their economy. Dreams are subject to four "articles of faith" (which govern all the phenomena of life):

Homeostasis - The preservation of the internal environment, an equilibrium between (different but interdependent) elements which make up the whole.
Equilibrium - The maintenance of an internal environment in balance with an external one.
Optimization (also known as efficiency) - The securing of maximum results with minimum invested resources and minimum damage to other resources, not directly used in the process.
Parsimony (Occam's razor) - The utilization of a minimal set of (mostly known) assumptions, constraints, boundary conditions and initial conditions in order to achieve maximum explanatory or modelling power.
In compliance with the above four principles dreams HAD to resort to visual symbols. The visual is the most condensed (and efficient) form of packaging information. "A picture is worth a thousand words" the saying goes and computer users know that to store images requires more memory than any other type of data. But dreams have an unlimited capacity of information processing at their disposal (the brain at night). In dealing with gigantic amounts of information, the natural preference (when processing power is not constrained) would be to use visuals. Moreover, non-isomorphic, polyvalent forms will be preferred. In other words: symbols that can be "mapped" to more than one meaning and those that carry a host of other associated symbols and meanings with them will be preferred. Symbols are a form of shorthand. They haul a great amount of information – most of it stored in the recipient's brain and provoked by the symbol. This is a little like the Java applets in modern programming: the application is divided to small modules, which are stored in a central computer. The symbols generated by the user's computer (using the Java programming language) "provoke" them to surface. The result is a major simplification of the processing terminal (the net-PC) and an increase in its cost efficiency.

Both collective symbols and private symbols are used. The collective symbols (Jung's archetypes?) prevent the need to re-invent the wheel. They are assumed to constitute a universal language usable by dreamers everywhere. The dreaming brain has, therefore, to attend to and to process only the "semi-private language" elements. This is less time consuming and the conventions of a universal language apply to the communication between the dream and the dreamer.

Even the discontinuities have their reason. A lot of the information that we absorb and process is either "noise" or repetitive. This fact is known to the authors of all the file compression applications in the world. Computer files can be compressed to one tenth their size without appreciably losing information. The same principle is applied in speed reading – skimming the unnecessary bits, getting straight to the point. The dream employs the same principles: it skims, it gets straight to the point and from it – to yet another point. This creates the sensation of being erratic, of abruptness, of the absence of spatial or temporal logic, of purposelessness. But this all serves the same purpose: to succeed to finish the Herculean task of refitting the model of the Self and of the World in one night.

Thus, the selection of visuals, symbols, and collective symbols and of the discontinuous mode of presentation, their preference over alternative methods of representation is not accidental. This is the most economic and unambiguous way of representation and, therefore, the most efficient and the most in compliance with the four principles. In cultures and societies, where the mass of information to be processed is less mountainous – these features are less likely to occur and indeed, they don't.


Excerpts from an Interview about DREAMS - First published in Suite101

Dreams are by far the most mysterious phenomenon in mental life. On the face of it, dreaming is a colossal waste of energy and psychic resources. Dreams carry no overt information content. They bear little resemblance to reality. They interfere with the most critical biological maintenance function - with sleep. They don't seem to be goal oriented, they have no discernible objective. In this age of technology and precision, efficiency and optimization - dreams seem to be a somewhat anachronistically quaint relic of our life in the savannah. Scientists are people who believe in the aesthetic preservation of resources. They believe that nature is intrinsically optimal, parsimonious and "wise". They dream up symmetries, "laws" of nature, minimalist theories. They believe that everything has a reason and a purpose. In their approach to dreams and dreaming, scientists commit all these sins combined. They anthropomorphesize nature, they engage in teleological explanations, they attribute purpose and paths to dreams, where there might be none. So, they say that dreaming is a maintenance function (the processing of the preceding day's experiences) - or that it keeps the sleeping person alert and aware of his environment. But no one knows for sure. We dream, no one knows why. Dreams have elements in common with dissociation or hallucinations but they are neither. They employ visuals because this is the most efficient way of packing and transferring information. But WHICH information? Freud's "Interpretation of Dreams" is a mere literary exercise. It is not a serious scientific work (which does not detract from its awesome penetration and beauty).

I have lived in Africa, the Middle East, North America, Western Europe and Eastern Europe. Dreams fulfil different societal functions and have distinct cultural roles in each of these civilizations. In Africa, dreams are perceived to be a mode of communication, as real as the internet is to us.

Dreams are pipelines through which messages flow: from the beyond (life after death), from other people (such as shamans - remember Castaneda), from the collective (Jung), from reality (this is the closest to Western interpretation), from the future (precognition), or from assorted divinities. The distinction between dream states and reality is very blurred and people act on messages contained in dreams as they would on any other information they obtain in their "waking" hours. This state of affairs is quite the same in the Middle East and Eastern Europe where dreams constitute an integral and important part of institutionalized religion and the subject of serious analyses and contemplation. In North America - the most narcissistic culture ever - dreams have been construed as communications WITHIN the dreaming person. Dreams no longer mediate between the person and his environment. They are the representation of interactions between different structures of the "self". Their role is, therefore, far more limited and their interpretation far more arbitrary (because it is highly dependent on the personal circumstances and psychology of the specific dreamer).

Narcissism IS a dream state. The narcissist is totally detached from his (human) milieu. Devoid of empathy and obsessively centred on the procurement of narcissistic supply (adulation, admiration, etc.) - the narcissist is unable to regard others as three dimensional beings with their own needs and rights. This mental picture of narcissism can easily serve as a good description of the dream state where other people are mere representations, or symbols, in a hermeneutically sealed thought system. Both narcissism and dreaming are AUTISTIC states of mind with severe cognitive and emotional distortions. By extension, one can talk about "narcissistic cultures" as "dream cultures" doomed to a rude awakening. It is interesting to note that most narcissists I know from my correspondence or personally (myself included) have a very poor dream-life and dreamscape. They remember nothing of their dreams and are rarely, if ever, motivated by insights contained in them.

The Internet is the sudden and voluptuous embodiment of my dreams. It is too good to me to be true - so, in many ways, it isn't. I think Mankind (at least in the rich, industrialized countries) is moonstruck. It surfs this beautiful, white landscape, in suspended disbelief. It holds it breath. It dares not believe and believes not its hopes. The Internet has, therefore, become a collective phantasm - at times a dream, at times a nightmare. Entrepreneurship involves massive amounts of dreaming and the net is pure entrepreneurship.
031014
...
CM Haunting dreams
so familia
so real
lost in some
distant memory
of another lifetime
foreign yet familiar
I've walked this way before.
031014
...
23 i have been losing dreams.

i used to wake up with fragments lingering as often as not. sometimes, large portions, or at least full glimpses, were available to me. a few times, very strange things happened.

but i haven't remembered a dream in months.

this morning, the first thought when my alarm went off the first time was "remember your dream. mark this." from snooze button to bed, i tried to remember what i was so anxious to get back to. i caught a slight whiff of something, but not enough to bring anything forward. i was dreaming intensely, but i have no idea what it was about.

i need to work on this. i need to find out who or what is partying in my head while i sleep. though the wrongness, the sidewaysness of dreams is disconcerting to me, i need them back. they are the last massive frontier i haven't made headway on. i will look at my hands. i will remember my dreams. it starts now.
031114
...
Lemon_Soda The raw stuff of creation. Everything that is was first dreamed to be. 031114
...
scorpion heart dreams are what i want right now. she put a lot of powder in the coffee and now here i lye. i want to know what that damn powder was! i sure as hell will want some tomorrow morning. 031116
...
misstree it happened again last night.
dreamt there was someone next to me,
a boymanguyoutie,
and he talked to me
in low tones, comforting.
he had brown hair.
his presence was important.
he was right there,
on the pillows,
next to me.
i don't remember my dreams.
his presence was remembered,
and i keep feeling it was important,
but i don't recognize him,
and i don't remember why i should
remember him.
it is perhaps that it was one of my own
come to visit. it is perhaps one of the two
that visited the lemon_fresh_goddess.
all i know
is that he was there
again,
second night in a row.
031230
...
Death of a Rose i once had visions of being the first person to invent a device that would record a persons dreams.

wonder if any progress has been made?
031231
...
BitterSweetDream Dreams are what makes the reality of life bearable. What makes us believe there is good in the world to come. Mine are Bitter-Sweet. Never ending. Never beginning. Just always there... 040111
...
imsotired i dream of moving from this place, leaving the biting cold, and vicous words, replacing them with sunny days and the warm faces of a home I've almost forgotten. In my dreams I pack some things and disapear without word. I start again, a new life, new friends, new home, new love. When I wake, shivering in the 4x4 box i like to pretend is a room, a wave of sadness rushes over. I wish to fall back asleep and never wake again. 040111
...
imsotired i dream of moving from this place, leaving the biting cold, and vicous words, replacing them with sunny days and the warm faces of a home I've almost forgotten. In my dreams I pack some things and disapear without word. I start again, a new life, new friends, new home, new love. When I wake, shivering in the 4x4 box i like to pretend is a room, a wave of sadness rushes over. I wish to fall back asleep and never wake again. 040111
...
P U N X expand the mind.
induce them with drugs if you like.
040219
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is it french? i always dream of ants biting me in the bath tub 040219
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pd the only place i want to be.

where i don't have to think, or be
anything but me...where you are
everything i wanted you to be
and i am your perfection
and we are what i constructed in
my head, exactly that. we fit.

in a dream the words come easily
the gestures flow like breath
its that simple, that effortless...
idyll that gives me peace, even if
only for a fleeting moment.

a dream, softly blowing light
into my life..temporary escape from
reality and its jagged edges
040219
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zander I had a dream not to long ago:
There was a peaceful meadow, filled with all the flowers and birds and such that peaceful meadows usually have. In the center of the meadow there was a statue of a melancholic women, or perhaps an angel even. And this angel of sadness shed a single tear of blood, and it trickled down her check to the ground. I saw this and soon I too began to cry tears of blood, It wasn't forceful or sad tears, it seemed almost as if I was crying with joy. Everyone in the world was affected the same way, all sobbing these bloody teardrops. And after not too the long the whole earth was flooded, nay, engulfed in blood.
The beautiful meadow was now flooded aswell, and just before sinking I saw the statue smile. It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
040313
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pete what do you do when your dreams are so vivid, so real, that you think they are memories? how do you save yourself when you are telling a story about something you did last week and realize half way through that it was only a dream? where does reality start for you when the border between dreams and waking life loses all meaningful definition?

living without much care, without much responsibility past the 10 hours or so of studying and 3 hours of exams left in this first year of university, how can i think without always questioning whether or not what i am thinking about really happened in this world? perhaps i am too intune to my dreams, to my self. the only thing is i dont believe that that is possible. perhaps this is some wierd side effect of valerin, catnip and camomile tea that i didn't know about, though that is doubtful as well. those herbs just induce deeper sleeps, more vivid dreams. perhaps that is the problem though.

i only mix them up every now and then, but enough that i notice it as not being a coincidence. perhaps this is the realm of undefined consequence? or perhaps i am slowly entering the limitless nonexistance that i feel around the edges of "myself" when i go into a meditative state, when i breathe with the trees and become intune with the world around me. to its beats and rythms.

either way, my dreams are real, and if i ever am talking, then stop and think.. i am probaly trying to decide if what i am talking about really happened or not.. the power of the dream world is upon me.
040426
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Jess Special K!
Get a life! Stop writing about dying!
040515
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ethereal Jess stop reading if you don't like it!! 040515
...
Jess the subconcious reality
the ultimate confidentiality
(one of my best freinds wrote that for our band! I wish she'd take me to the moon! But then again I think I'd take chief!)
040515
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me dreams are a beautiful part of life, where we can make our own reality, they are a place in our complex minds where we live our fantasies and experience our greatest fear. Dreams are flowing a beautiful and may we never lose them, for they are our only hope for purity... 040522
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Jess SORRY Ethereal!
But don't you think all these people who write these deoressing things are a bit wierd! I mean you want to die so what do you do?
If the answer to this is go on a funny website and tell the other people about it, then something isn't quite right!
But still, I am sorry!
But thank you for replying to one of me blathers! I reply to people and they never answer me back! I hope you are as happy as I was that someone replied! Who are you?
040609
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ethereal lol How goes it Jess? I was actually blather stalking you the other day... strange occurence! I didn't realize I'd written on here though. I love forgetting what I write! Ummm I am Meg..aka puredream... 040609
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nobody woot woot 040610
...
nobody woot woot 040610
...
nobody woot woot 040610
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puredream broken dreams of far off place...follw follow...follow me there... 040610
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lacunas coil i dream my dreams upon the sailing winds that take me along the river's polluted shores. never do i dare leave this boat, to touch the sludge i paddle through. i dream my dreams wrapped and embalmed. lost in wonders that have lost their luster. i dream my dreams and look up at the sky, finding the shifting constellations in their homes. and at last, at last, the planets cry, in my dreaming home. 040611
...
mood ring i dreamed that we were having a pine needle collecting contest...
my subconscious needs help.
040611
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Jess It goes quite fine thank you! How goes it Meg?
Hmm...! "Blather stalking"! Iv never heard that before! But Im afraid I do a lot of it!
I hope you don't think I'm too much of a loonatic! I write some stuf on here I don't really expect people to read!
If I can find your email adress I may email you! Don't worry I'm not a crazy stalker! Please reply cos I liked blather cos I thought I might find a new friend! Hopefully, this will be you!
040707
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sameolme Pete,I also mix up dream life and waking life, and I also meditate. I think that this happens because we pay attention to our conciousness, which has very dreamlike qualities. I am not sure about many of my memories. Was it
"just" a dream?
040707
...
marked . 040715
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Elmo But I, being poor, have only my dreams.
I spread my dreams under your feet.
Tread carefully, for you walk on my dreams.
040816
...
Cage movies for the blind Back to my brain like my brain is my home.
While i roll on my bed i still think of the throne.
Are my peers all sleep and i'm the only one not weak.
Or i'm I unconcious dreaming i'm making this speech.
Is this reality or my memory getting mileage.
Am i staring at the sun or blood vessles in my eylids.
Do i make music or is music making.
Is this really my death or just my awakening.

I wake up with a shotgun in church feinding.
To kill myself but I don't know if i'm till dreaming.
Fifty fifty chance I will die and go straight up.
Or straight to hell.
Either way hope i wake up.
CLICK.
040920
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sameolme I've had to let go of so much in my life the past couple of years that I'm
deeply grateful that my dreams are still with me (they were almost gone also). Dreams affirm me, they let me know in a way that no person can, that yes the world is as wild as you've always knew it to be. My dreams are my closest friend.
040921
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Syrope eventually i'm not going to be able to tell what we really did and what i only dreamed we did

dreams_come_true
041031
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autumn My dreams last night told me everything I wanted to hear you say. And if you can't say them, then my dreams will have to be good enough. Who'd have ever thought I'd want reality over a dream? 041031
...
question_mark last night in my dreams, i ate the money i was suppose to use to buy my lunch because i couldn't decide what to buy off the menu... 041123
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Lemon_Soda Behind the stage of life, where we read our lines and fix our makeup. 041123
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Erin the conscious thoughts of our unconscious reality we call life 041226
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SandMan There is a place, ruled by other power, where gods and tears birth, where everything is possible, where beginnings begin... Humans' spirit sometimes wander inside. Dreams are memories of those human's unreal wandering. 050116
...
paste! if i had 5 dollars i'd move to the_crepe_of_tabasco, scahu. the water is vaporous and the spies coagulate at the speed of laser_nuts. 050506
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z see: signal_and_noise 050506
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dreamer i dreamt of adam 050605
...
ryan I have had alot of dreams in my life.....but all but one were nightmares. I had one good dream. I dont remember what it was, but im sure i had a good dream. the rest are all nightmares 050713
...
misstree spent a very long night in a space shuttle the other day. very long indeed. 050718
...
oldephebe beofre this time of great darkness, where it seems as if the very spirit of Cain, the very spirit of The Destroyer is nuzzling my next breath, i used to have these gaudy dreams. I used to have these waking dreams as well..where i'd score, outfit, write and arrange modern operetta's, as if the great opera houses of the old world were melded with comparative ribaldry and vulgarity of broadway...

what if...

be back
...
050827
...
oldephebe can a term like "cultural precedence" really be invoked to explicate or exculpate gender and or ethnic hegemony and exclusion in the field of the Arts?

I mean if we haven't heard from everyone can a term like "aesthetic exhaustion" as it relates to the commodification and consumption of the Arts and not the genesis of them--can it really be blithely and knowingly uttered, or disingenuously opined as some rationale for the defacto dismissal of other traditions and or other traditions that are in part derivative of a gender, class, sexual orientation/experiental (such as)i.e.--works in part influenced by the crucible of rape--should i abandon myself to apathy, to spend whatever time i have left to this rueful existence searching fruitlessly for justice--perhaps if i cannot find justice in my own life perhaps i can find it in the Arts, or in the Art of anothers life, perhaps the sting of the Devils quil can be lessened, by --you know,,i thought if i were an average joe--safely encased in the encrusted acoutrements of respectability, with my family, duplex, stepkids and kid and wife and white collar lower management drudge of a job folded around me..that perhaps I could escape trauma. I thought if I could wrap myself and my memories tightly in this simulacre of security maybe me and my family will be safe. I thought maybe the trauma and the intransigent and inevitable cultural and neuro-chemical and god just that damned crown of thorns that was shoved hard and deep into my head in utero and in the bruising fugues of that majesterial and imperious arbiter of ambivelant and definately capricious maternal approbation and patriarchal wisdom sheathed in the prophylactic of a tediously professiorial distance and detachment---But that's like chasing the 7:15 am Paoli local along the rails at 7:17am.

I've learned, or rathered had it related to me by several women who'd been raped at a young age by a trusted family friend or relative--that When a woman is raped if she is strong, or if she is weak enough to allow that weakness be an open door to rebirth like the forest that is felled or burnt to the ground, and the seedlings spawned from the honey combs as the trees very soul writhes in the consuming fires--a denser and more vibrant one would replace the one burnt to the ground--

This certainly does NOT belong on this page..

I guess part of what i'm trying to say is that--there are so many narratives out there that begin as dreams, or that transmogrify into dreams that could not find thier being in the flesh..

Should our dreams, should our emphatic desire for justice and or validation be relegated to the realm of what is no longer spoken of?

I wish caring realy were contagious. I wish I were stronger, had more wisdom, I wish for anything besides this damned fatalistic soul shriveling APATHY--but then I wander into the cultural and artistic enclave of another and I am rescusitated.

But can we allow even at the cost of peronal safety another or others to steal our lives from us?

Can we approach the whispering and at times roaring flame riding a beam of light, in total and utter surrender to accept the hatred and torment of our accuser, and to still utter a small breath of hope for a soul so twisted and beaten out of shape even as it seeks our death? People that think I am wise or endowed with some strange but beautiful gift--well I wish you could see me now. I wish you could feel my uncertainty, I wish you could see me stalled in mid-stream afraid to go forward and unable to look backward and just praying for some noble and or divine life taking and affirming act of intervention. Some diviely inspired exculpatory gesture. The years have bequeathed nothing to me. Only that I can carry more pain upon me back, my heart holds more anguish and seeks almost violently within me justice. The holy men whose lives I've studied tell me true transcendancy begins with surrender. My life or death will not release my accusers from thier torment. I have said this to them, I have shouted it at grimly painted walls and closed windows and even into the burning raging furnace of thier equisitiely articulated death threatrs.

I wish not only for me, but more than just my release from this trial, I wish they could look into the radiant eyes of The One who does see them as finished, complete perfected with no quid pro quo required to be redeemed and restored and reunited with the Source. I I d-d-don't know how to SAY this w/o sounding maudlin or invoking every poorly written Hallmark card ever written--but aside from the discomfort, aside from the exigency the protracted exigencies I've had to experience as a result of becoming thier neighboor--I really do wish they could find release from the endless howling of thier tormented hearts.
...
050827
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z see: signal_and_noise 050827
...
spirit of grace are the truths that we choose to hide 051004
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sarah so many dreams
which way to go
are you suppose to listen to others
that question
bugs you
are you going to like it
what if....what if....what if...
its wrong...
051211
...
sarah so many dreams
which way to go
are you suppose to listen to others
that question
bugs you
are you going to like it
what if....what if....what if...
its wrong...
051211
...
frazer what happens when your lifes fine but your dreams bring you misery.their not real so why can they make you feel so sad/ guilty/ depressed/ nervious???eh 060924
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sanguineous mine are of you. 061111
...
laced I am trying to forget a woman made of paper cranes
and maybe you will know what this means, but
damn, really, I want back the words I had
before she caught her wings again in the same snare
I was once in

and this is just to say

I keep having dreams about her

but not real dreams,
dreams she doesn't belong in
when I felt crazy like the old days,
consumned with angels, beasts and madman

and she is always telling me

scars are beautiful, and

I am wishing again that I could die and never die
and I am wishing again That I could kiss her and
I am wishing that I could carry the things weighing heavy in her heart with the wings I never have
061112
...
denial i once dreamt that I was driving a boat on a lake of tar with giant Seagulls flying around. 061208
...
triplesix I wish I remembered my dreams. 070206
...
lost dreams are something you want or long for but can't have!
they are supposed to keep you going, keep you hoping.

a dream come true either gets replaced by another dream or it becomes a dream come true
- a living dream.
070523
...
twisted_existence last night, i stood in front of the window until my legs entire body began to tremble. i was watching the sky, although if you were to ask me, i couldnt tell you how many stars were out or even whether or not there was a moon. i was looking for something ive never seen, hoping i could catch a glimpse of that moment between darkest night and twilight. i felt you standing there next to me, and that is utterly impossible because you dont exist anymore. a phantom, perhaps, of who we used to be and what we used to stand for. and if that were the case, then damn you, my love. i used to have so many dreams, and hopes and plans for our future. crushed like a thirst-starved blade of grass in the middle of a baren desert, you left me stranded here in this utterly devoid reality. i used to blame you for what we've become, twisted parodies of our former selves. that was unfair of me, i know. but nobody ever told me you cant blame your dreams for you heartache, you can only blame your heart. and what a fickle organ that is! alas, i have spent too much time pondering, and it is once again time to drift along the current and crawl onto the shore. will you be standing there, leaning against that oak tree, with your arms across your chest and a crooked grin on your face? i do hope so. it is only in my dreams that i can say to you all things that were left unsaid. you wont be smiling when im through with you, my love. but i will. 070530
...
bgmole the dreams you want to come true, the people involved. 070606
...
:-) i love bunny rabbits do you too ? 070607
...
Danish Proverb The best advice is found on one's pillow. 071208
...
Emptyness_Alive What do you dream of?
do you dream of a prince riding off with you into the sunset?
picnics on the beach
dances in the moonlight with sand between you toes?
what?
what do you dream
what makes you smile?
080103
...
Emptyness_Alive What do you dream of?
do you dream of a prince riding off with you into the sunset?
picnics on the beach
dances in the moonlight with sand between you toes?
what?
what do you dream
what makes you smile?
080103
...
Emptyness_Alive What do you dream of?
do you dream of a prince riding off with you into the sunset?
picnics on the beach
dances in the moonlight with sand between you toes?
what?
what do you dream
what makes you smile?
080103
...
Soma I used to only ever have dreams that were more like nightmares. Chases, nightime, dark things and dark places. Feeling scared, and strange places. But lately... all that is changing. I'm fighting back, i'm becoming more bolt. I'm standing up on my own two legs a bit.
You're there a lot.
Never anything too strong, just a glimpse, a few moments, a brief word.
Amazing how we're always there for each other, even when you're so far away.
090818
...
In_Bloom Hmmn... a prince
He works hard and plays hard
Like me, with me
He isn't perfect either
A lot like me
We flush out our fears into the open and knock them around
Yes we want beach and sand
Yes we want to be one of those old couples still smiling and holding hands
I guess we're not too broken or jaded if we still have dreams
090818
...
balaguri are what happens as life continues around you
oblivious
120324
...
limb of Earth sable_doux 120324
...
ungreat I keep having reoccurring ones of you. My subconscious just won't stop. You and nightmares alternating, swirling in the ether in my mind's eye. 120325
...
no reason i had a dream that was being narrated like a mystery novel. my alarm went off just as it was getting interesting. 120325
...
Batman? This is stupid but.. I had a dream that I was Batman and I had just taken a space ship to some kind of space station where I would kill Joker. When I got there, I saw this person that works with me, I shot her in the eye and she died (she worked for Joker). I surprised Joker in the bathroom while he was shaving, his hot girlfriend stood naked by him, but when I tried to shoot him with my pistol from two centuries ago, I had run out of amo and that's when I woke up. 120325
...
FA113N She dreams of me, and I want to crawl inside her sleeping mind, and live there, where it does not seem incongruous, where we are happy, where she is rested and at peace.

Why can't I have happy dreams of her? Oh, of course. The_walls.
130209
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