excerpts paste! make your own! -------------------------------- from Revenge of the Glaciers by Ted Poultierre “This would be a good time to light that match!” Carson shouted, patching together the soggy wigwam. His gloves were failing miserably. When he left the shelter he had no intention of losing his cool. The General was behind him again, he had already lost his, paying very little attention to the shreds of sanity that remained. “Carson, Carson! Wake up!” standing directly behind him, “It’s time to make our final stand. The Ice Monoliths have done nothing but close in on our women and children and rations and...” Carson interjected, “But they’ll never have our dignity and warmth.” from Collected Poems of Otto Jenghan about not knowing the reasons behind detachment? And across the street, a wife is unbuttoning her surprises to a lover who was fired from the town’s only trophy supplier. from Rita’s Guide to Butterfly Catching by Rita McIntosh …balance and always keep solid footing. Remember that you usually have 10 to 20 minutes until the flashlight begins to irritate the Moth of Vercosa. Keep your elbows locked... from Truth or Falsified Information: The Majesty of the Animal Kingdom by T. Giddy Hayes The Ratchet Beetle is found in automobiles, factories and toolboxes, where it survives on a chemical compound found solely in petroleum distillates. The compound is necessary for mobility and integral to a metabolic cycle that allows it to utilize atmospheric helium. Specimens have been found imbedded in vinyl records and jars of Vaseline! from Ancient Ireland Vs Romanticism Vs McDonalds: A Study In Waves by Dorothy Yoe …see the sufferables on a larger scale and then it becomes all too clear how abundant. Grich then goes on to explain the dynamics of quality in lieu of the misbehaving natives and how the “apparition of the soggy vine” could only muster itself through mass instigation. from Afterschool Heat Part 12, Lenny has a crush on you! by Gilda Gracely …still wouldn’t let you in without a hall pass. But it didn’t matter, Wendy was going to get in whether they wanted her to or not! She snuck on her tip toes, her bright pink sneakers smearing the gymnasium floor. She knew one thing and one thing only: The sight of Lenny in his boxers would be hers at all costs! 030108 ... paste! from Over 2000 uses for Vienna Sausage! by Sammy Tundra 1203. Sizzling Vienna Sausage Quesadilla 1204. Vienna Sausage Gasket Sealer 1205. Vienna Sausage Parasol 1206. Customer Service Vienna Sausage 1207. Almonds, Toast and Vienna Sausage 030108 ... MDogMA Well, I gotta tell ya - I'd be very careful who I talk to about this. Because the person who wrote this is dangerous. And one day they could just snap. And then this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho, stalking from office to office with an Armalite AR-180 carbine gas-operated semi-automatic, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers. This could be someone you've known for years. Someone very close to you. tyler durden 030109 ... unhinged a long car ride that was the beginning of the end and i craned my neck to look at the sign on the outside of the rental hall and smiled (i have since forgotten to look). i colored in my tibetan buddhist coloring book. in this rental hall in nearby pennsylvania i heard my boys. we watched joel dance in a white bed sheet with a huge glass jar of whole pickles. i came home for the first time. i went to work making sure i had my death laid out in front of me. we drove to kent and got in for free. "the only people that are having fun here are the people that got in for free." she took a picture of me and them and they were all lined up in order; the order didn't become apparent until a few months later. 'can you hand me the ashtray?' 'hand you the what?' 'the ashtray' he carried me out of the building in my slippers and we went to the movies and i propped my leopard print slippers up on the seat in front of me. we sat on her porch and smoked a joint. it worked the very first time for me. we drove out to the lacrosse tournament and then out to the frat party where we were supposed to sell cds. we didn't sell a single one. kelly glared at me. he left. they were all horribly drunk except for him. they fought over kristin. he whacked his head on the curb and scraped his elbow. i rode home with them in the van because he wanted to party with us and needed someone to show him the way. frank and mark beat each other up right next to me while frank watched the t.v. in sunglasses 'now you know what it's like to be a rockstar.' he opened the back door while the van was going down the highway at 60 mph. when we got to the house he jumped into the bushes while frank followed with his feet up in the air 'dude, help me. i can't get up.' they made out in my lap. we were over his apartment sitting on the couch. as the bowl was passed through joel's straightedge hands, we stopped the rotation a moment to view the miracle. 'i want to get joel high. it would be so funny...he would probably start spouting math equations or something.' he held me as we looked at the stars behind the bar. he stopped talking to me. 'tell her that i care about her but i can't be with anyone right now.' i started cutting myself. it was the longest summer of my life. i couldn't even enjoy the ocean. everything reminded me of him kissing me in the middle of the street, the bar, the car. the cop that backed into the telephone pole across from lenny's house because he thought that we all were having an orgy. i stood outside smoking hoping that he would come to look for me. when she walked out to find me, i knew that i was done in him. that was the longest summer of my life. i went to see blink 182 because they were playing too. i went to the warped tour because they were playing there too. my neighbor was selling a bunch of small packets of white powder and asked me if i wanted to buy some. i made flyers and passed them out around town. sony 550 was there 'dude, we have like...fans' and i saw his hair and it made me want to cry. he was the first one that made me sick. they broke up. i missed quarters. i had started talking to her. she was lonely down in north_carolina. she didn't eat; she exercised too much. i always reminded her to eat. they played at the odeon for thanksgiving; donating all the profits to people who didn't have the money to eat. i met her there for the first time; she was with her teenage boyfriend. she was so happy to see me; she gave me a hug. she moved back home after one semester. it was snowing badly; i told her we would be there. we got into the accident and sat in the police station for hours waiting for her parents to take us back. when i woke up the next morning i couldn't move my neck. i went to the hospital and the er doctor gave me muscle relaxers and sent me home. (i am currently going to the chiropractor everyday for whiplash) she sat down next to me and hit me; tried to burn me with her cigarette. i could smell burning hair. she told me i was a liar, an exaggerator, a faker. my pupils were always dilated from pills. my head swam when i bent over the drinking fountain. i went to the bar after our rehearsal because they were supposed to play. he walked down with me. i had my pills in my pocket. i took two and drank a few. i couldn't hold my head up. she asked me what i was on. i gave her one. he carried her friend out of the bathroom. she came to spend the weekend. we drove out to mansfield but mapquest got us lost and we stopped at the firestation for directions. we thought we were hopelessly late but when we got there it hadnt' even started. we went out to the van with him and they did situps in the back. 'didn't i tell you i would always be there for you?' 'what was that all about?' 'i don't know sam; what did it look like?' 'it looked like you guys were a little more than friends.' she dragged me outside by the hand to have a cigarette. after the pimp and hoe party, after pills and beer, he picked me up and i spent the night with him. he was probably confused by the hug. 'i know i don't have a dick but you can sleep in my bed if it will make you feel better.' my roommate walked in to me in bed with another girl. i pretended to sleep and she pretended to hold me closer. we took our own alcohol to the bar that night. she went home with him. he opened the door, came in, kissed me and left without a word. it's been known to happen in practice rooms. he suddenly became too interested in me. 'all i can do is think about you. i can't get my work done because i want to spend every minute with you.' i knew he was a liar. he came to my room every afternoon. we made out to jeff_buckley. he wouldn't let me hold his hand. i laughed when he made a mess. i gave him back the sunglasses he left on my nightstand in class. i didn't return his phone calls. i left the party without saying a word. he needed me to help him study. he walked me home. (to be finished) 030109 ... unhinged i was almost 19. i thought i would be nice and invite him up. i said no. he tried anyways and was successful because i was drunk. "i am so glad we didn't have sex." i think i had a dream about him not too long ago...i remember seeing him from far away or five feet away in the dining hall and i would always get uncontrollably scared. the last time i saw him he was crossing the street and we had to stop at the blinking light. he waved at us. i wanted to get out of the car and beat the shit out of him. my hand twitched on the door handle. she asked me to stay in the car. i was almost 20. we were in the nyabinghi after the show sitting on the same side of a booth smoking cigarettes realizing that we were almost sober and the munchies had definitely set in. he slid in the booth on the bench across from us. 'what are you ladies doing tonight?' 'i don't know; why?' 'do you want to come over my apartment and smoke some hash?' i looked at her and she looked at me and said without saying it that it was up to me and i said 'yes we would like that' 'well i'll meet you over there then.' we stopped at taco bell on the way there and the ghettobell on fifth avenue was anything but fast food on a saturday night after the bars closed. when we got there the whole crowd from the bar including the opening band was already there. we sat down to eat our food. we couldn't finish it. ian asked me to feed him like a baby....i played airplane with my burrito. i sat down on the couch next to him and he packed a bowl of hash. we smoked; the feeling of hash always confuses me. i was high; i knew i was high but i could still think clearly about mutiple things at once. he said that i could pick a cd to put in the stereo. he had a lot of modest_mouse. when mike came back in the room, he was thrown into epileptic seizures by the music. i changed the cd to appalachian spring with yo-yo ma and that one bluegrass fiddler. he looked at me with this weird look "you are the first person to ever put that cd in" it chased everyone else into the other apartment where the hot chick from the bar was stripping while sam took pictures. 'i think i am going to get up and lock the door. do you mind?' 'no' there was a knock on the door. 'should i answer it?' 'do what you want dude.' 'no.' the knock got louder. he got up and let them in. she came to check on me and make sure i wasn't in the same situation again; i love her for that. but mike...i don't even know what to say about the look on his face. they left. he pulled out the blanket and gave me a massage. before long, we were laying on his living room floor, fucking to yo yo ma playing bluegrass. 'do you want to try this another way?' 'no' he had to get up in three hours for work. we layed on seperate couches talking about sneaking mashed potatoes into movie theaters until she came to take me home. a few weeks later, he called me up and asked me if i wanted to hang out at katy's apartment with a bunch of people. we watched dracula 2000. i bought beer and picked up my pipe. we played some drinking games. me and my partner kicked him and his partner's ass in the drinking game. we walked back to my dorm; i wouldn't let him walk all the way back to his house that drunk that late. he lived right across from wick park. it wasn't a good idea to walk anywhere near wick park alone in the middle of the day let alone at 2:30am drunk off your ass. i had to sign him in. we were both fucked up and he couldn't keep his hands off of me in front of the cop. as soon as we got into the elevator, i was pawed again. when we got to my room he said 'do you want me to sleep in the other bed?' 'what? why would you do that?' 'i just thought i would ask' i started to change my clothes. 'what are you doing?' 'putting on my pajamas' 'please don't' he pulled on my pants. 'i don't think i should have sex with you tonight.' 'why not?' i tried to explain to him why not for 20 minutes but he was too drunk. 'don't you trust me?' no. 'do you want to try this a different way?' 'no' i had to wake up to go to rehearsal. when i got back he wanted to have sex again. 'nope' we talked about us. we had been pending for months. he didn't like that i smoked pot even though he had with me the night before. he didn't think that i would try to stop him from 'doing things he shouldn't do' he was right. he told me i was 'everything he wasn't looking for in a girl' and then left. i was 20. we had messed around once before. he watched me get high in front of the dorm and then we went back to my room. this time we had been drinking in her room. i was too drunk to make him leave like i should have. i really didn't want him to leave because i was drunk. he didn't want to leave because he was drunk. we tried to make it like before. but he had been sober before. i had bruises all over my chest that looked like someone punched me and i couldn't walk for almost a week. i guess it was my fault because i was the one that started biting. i was almost 21. she had gotten married in december and graduated in may. she asked me to come over her apartment and hang out. she cooked me dinner. me and her and her husband went and rented dvds. then we sat around and got drunk. before the movie, we had talked about the proper way to proposition someone for a threesome. i drank almost a whole bottle of southern comfort. her husband decided to go to bed because he was drunk. she followed him not too soon after. i was laying on the couch watching the cell when she came back out in the living room. 'nicole...we were wondering if you wanted to come to bed with us.' 'uuummm...uuuhhh' she sat down next to me on the couch and laid her head on my shoulder 'please don't make me beg nicole' 'hand me the bottle' i walked back with her to the bedroom. 'please turn out the light' i'd never had two people take my clothes off. 'lets try this' 'ok' 'hold on a second' 'alright' 'what can we do for you?' 'we would like to help you' 'are you okay?' 'i'm fine' her husband wouldn't stop talking about it the next day. he bothered me. she keeps trying to get me to come back to their apartment. i have been blatantly ignoring her. (to be finished) 030109 ... unhinged i loved to sleep with her. we just slept. she wanted someone to hold her. i liked the way she fit in my arms. and it comforted me to know that i wasn't the only one that couldn't relax next to someone else. she only did that with her 'friends'; if she wanted to fuck you she would try. she wasn't very shy. or she didn't want you to think that she was. the last time i slept with her she had gone out with me to see my exboyfriend's band and i had paid for her drinks all night. she took me out to dennys because she had gift certificates and she wanted to sleep with me again. we decided to sleep in her bed so that she could take out her contacts. she lent me pajamas. it was too hot on the top bunk for flannel pajamas. 'am i weirding you out?' 'no' girls love it when you nibble on/near their collarbones. i like to take straps between my teeth and pull them out and let them go so that they snap. we were both anxious and she was drunk; i didn't want her to be drunk. i took my hand out of her shirt and cuddled her and tried to fall asleep. the three of us had decided we didn't want to drink beer so we asked him to go to petra and buy us vodka and orange juice. the orange juice cost more than the vodka. me and him had a race. then we went out on the porch by the keg and she just looked so beautiful. i pulled her away from him and kissed her. we kept kissing and he got jealous so he pulled her away and started kissing her. i wasn't done yet so i pulled her back towards me. her hips were shaped for hands to rest on. i wish that i could cuddle her the same way. 'he made me promise that we wouldn't do anything' and she slept in the other bed. damn him. damn him to hell. he fell asleep in my bed and snored and snored. i kept trying to plug his nose to get him to stop and the one time he woke up and looked at me. 'that is the best i've slept in a long time' i didn't sleep a wink that night. i wonder if he will ever call me. i think he never got my number again after he lost it. i wish that he would call me so that we could lay in bed. he had almost pushed me out of the bed and left me with no covers. i think i was too wild for her old lady sensibilities. i never felt bad for us drifting apart. i wish that she wouldn't have gotten all weird on me like that. it's funny sometimes how fast people change. (to be finished) 030113 ... unhinged i never hung out there because i didn't have any friends that lived there and then she moved in. we moved in on the same day and i called her up that night and she was so happy to hear me (that was before she knew anyone else) and asked me to come down and hang out. the rooms there were smaller, more cramped, prison cells and we kept the door open to give the illusion of more space. he walked past the door and our eyes met. it hadn't even been a year and i was still scared of him. i felt like i was going to throw up. i got up and closed the door. 'i need to leave. right now.' 'why? what's wrong?' 'see that guy that just walked past? he was the one that raped me.' she went to the door and opened it up and looked down the hall. it made me sick to think he was walking up and down the hallway of the girls floor. i wanted to tell every girl that lived on that floor to stay away from him especially if they were drunk. she picked up the dry erase marker and wrote 'rapists stay away' on their board. it was a warm day in early september and we were done eating dinner sitting in the circle smoking cigarettes. someone had sidewalk chalk and she picked up the pink piece and wrote 'bobbi jean (heart)'s nicole' in one of the squares. a nuke walked by and stomped on it. i was walking past where she lived on my way to bliss and she had written in sidewalk chalk 'bobbi jean is better than you' i wanted to vomit all over it. they still haven't paid me for a concert i played almost a year ago. i should probably call them and inform them about that in case they have forgotten. and besides, the $300 would be nice. they don't hire me anymore though; it may be because i had to sightread in rehearsal for that concert and isiah jackson kept glaring at me from the podium; it may be because gloria hates me and she's a bitch. all i know is that he definitely doesn't deserve to be playing in there if i'm not especially since he intends to go to law school for grad school because he is 'sick of studying music.' i should start doing my exercises from the chiropractor regularly. he would be disappointed in me. the night that the hot italian played harry chapin at the plaza cafe, we were both pretty damn drunk. on the way home she looked at me and said 'i really wanted to fuck you that night' and i started laughing hysterically. i stopped because i knew that she wanted to 'fuck me' i couldn't sleep with her after she said 'i hope wes knocks on my door tonight and sees you in my bed' i was so damn sick of being her avenue for her convienent lesbian image. i wanted the first time i slept with a girl to be special since the first time i slept with a guy definitely wasn't. i didn't want to be someone else's easy drunken lay. 'why do things have to be weird between us?' because you broke my goddamn heart. you used me just like you used everyone else and i loved you. see, i've had that problem with friends ever since elementary school and it didn't help that i had to battle with the jealousy of not having you, not hearing from you, not even eating with you when we ate in the same place everyday, lived five minute walking distance from each other. i couldn't live with hating myself because of you anymore. you think this kind of thing happens overnight? if you were really my friend, you would have known what i was saying without talking, known that i was protectively lying to you. but you didn't care as long as i was getting you fucked up and making out with you in crowded bars; listening when you were having a crisis. and the sick sad fucked up part is i will probably never stop caring about you. but i had to cut myself off before i cut myself up for good. you conjured up too many images of white tile floors and congealed blood. the first thing he said to me after three months of ignoring me was 'which get_up_kids album do you have?' how did he expect me to accept his professed undying love hor me when i had just found this whole new world in sleeping with her, holding her hand? it was so brave of him to admit that i couldn't do anything but cry. i told you i didn't want to have that conversation with you; but you persisted. and there is no room for changes of heart when there is a grudge involved. i found myself developing the capacity to love you completely and you would have rather rubbed it all back in my face. i guess you had changed too. i don't want to be exposed to cold calculated analyzation; i didn't want to live with only being allowed in occasionally. 'what's the point when you are moving away soon and i am never going to see you again?' ok. fine. i give up. (to be finished) 030116 ... marked . 040123 ... unhinged you couldn't know that every day when i get on the bus and ride past the 'mall' on the corner of prospect and north that i think of you. you couldn't know that. i do. everytime i see you, i am afraid it will be the last time. i am overly sentimental about 'last time's. maybe he understands that i love him now. i've told him but i think he was afraid it was a somewhat pyschotic 'til death do us part' 'if i can't have you nobody can' sort of thing. i hope i clarified that. i love him. with a big piece of my heart, but i do not want to date him let alone marry him because then i would have to hate him. that way, i would be obligated to hate him. i ride the bus to school again. i almost always sit on the seat perpendicular to the back door. i listen to my ipod and think of you. all of you. and i think that i spend way too much time missing people. i have a wall now. it protects me. 040523 ... unhinged i walked in that night and everyone was acting strange. it registered on my radar that something wasn't right for them all to have those stupid puppy dog grins and chinky eyes, but i saw the pipe passing around the room and dismissed it. the vibe was something else entirely from weed, but it appeared that that was what they were smoking so....i took a hit off of it as it made it's way around the room and sat and packed my own pipe. they were going to practice that night. it was the only way i ever heard them live anymore; when they practiced at the studio cause they didn't play out anymore. i sat talking to the guy who was passing the pipe around when i got there. he was a really nice guy, super sweet. but married unfortunately. his wife was overseas in the military and he seemed to pretty devastated by that. but like the rest of us, he was smoking (his prefered method) himself into oblivion. all of us that hung out there were devastated about something. the lounge of lost souls....'i don't care if i get good or bad shit as long as there's enough to go around.' i started to feel weird. not bad weird, but weird; not the way i normally felt when i was high. i smoked good weed too so my level of high was pretty damn toasty. we moved into the practice room and he offered to pack the pipe this time. and he turned to me and said 'oh, i kinda forgot to mention it earlier, but there's a little bit of opium at the bottom of my pipe' ( opium_resin ) and the light bulb went off, ding ding ding. that's why i felt like a cat bathing in a puddle of sunshine. and he looked at me after he tuned his guitar and stepped up to the mike and said 'you like smoking yourself into a coma don't you?' as i was rolling around on the floor like my cat used to when she was itching her back to the vibrations that his amp sent through the paper thin floor. my eyes were slits in my face and i could barely speak cause my throat was all torn up 'yep, i do.' and they practiced and me and everyone else up there that night who had smoked off that pipe where smiling like chesire cats as we listened. a few months later that dude, the one that had the opium in the pipe, shot himself. it was after i had moved to wisconsin. everyone was upset about it. hell, i was upset about it and had only hung out with the guy on that occasion and like one other time. but it was like the smell of a hospital, it hung in the air in that studio. the bad news that someone was dead, we all antcipated it everyday. that someday one of them/us would end up dead from all the shit that went on up there and after everyone went home. a few months later i was in town for christmas and it came out last minute that they were playing a benefit show the day after christmas. we decided to go. shit; it had been almost seven months since the last time i really heard them live, playing out, not in their studio. they never showed up. it was a benefit show for the dude that killed himself; their friend that killed himself. so that his kid could have a college fund. limy bastards. 040729 ... unhinged i heard your_voice again and it stopped my heart. it had been almost a year since i heard you; the longest struggle of my life not to dial the phone. but i knew you would have yelled; i knew you wouldn't have understood. that i possibly could still love you and not be able to speak to you. when i heard your_voice again, he had clicked you over to speaker phone on his cell cause i wouldn't talk when he held the phone out to me. maybe he wanted to torture me with your_voice ; maybe he wanted to torture you with mine. did you ever say anything to him about us? did he know at least your story? and he hung up with you because it was evident that you weren't coming over. i breathed easier but wanted it just the same; stayed my hand when i wanted to reach for the phone, afraid of getting the only reaction i didn't want from you. and until jon came over that night, i stared at his phone, the thought of asking him to dial you up so that i could say hi racing through my head. no no NO NO NO; no more of you. your_voice infecting me again. when he hung up the phone i looked at him, 'i haven't talked to him in almost a year you know.' and it was hard for me to tell if he did know or not. and he looked at me and said 'well at least he isn't doing coke anymore.' the key word there being ANYMORE. no no NO NO NO; no more of you. and i heard your_voice and still after all that silence wanted you. but still, after all that silence, i couldn't be the one to reach out first. 041101 ... unhinged my last semester there we were umbilically attached. he had moved to boston to go to berklee so he couldn't keep us away from each other anymore and she needed someone to replace him. and all the hims she had chased away from being with him. she would turn pages for us sometimes when we rehearsed brahms. i would go with her when she needed to drop things off; i didn't want her to be alone when she dropped stuff off. we smoked together; we smoked a lot. we had all our classes together that semester after she withdrew from theory class. so after our 8am conducting class we would go to the parking deck and sit in her jeep and get high before orchestra rehearsal on mondays and wednesdays. then after orchestra, we would go to the parking deck and sit in her jeep and get high before quartet class. then sometimes she would turn pages. but always after the brahms rehearsals, we would get in her jeep and drive around the northside and get stoned and then make our way back to campus, stop at the taco bell and get a chicken quesadilla value meal and then she would take me home. one day she asked the girl at the drive-thru to throw away her half empty cup from the day before. we decided that the only way beef from taco bell tastes good is if you're stoned. fragmentary_romantic_scenarios and that night that i got her to come back to my room after i told her i was in love with her and she said 'but i can't because i promised him i wouldn't break up with him for you' i could have drove all the way to boston to kick his balls into his throat. but slowly, eventually, months and months later she finally realized that he didn't deserve her. i still dream of her being the first girl that i...i still dream of kissing every inch of her, my bach_goddess , my nat_face. i was standing on the balcony at al's talking to him; he was asking me a lot of questions about being gay/bi. he was torturing himself with the thought of naked men because he couldn't decide whether he liked boys. i told him that sexuality just isn't about sex, it's also about the capacity to love someone. just because you can admit that someone is attractive or even that you are turned on by someone does not necessarily mean that you are gay. i asked him if he could see himself spending the rest of his life with a boy. he said no. he asked me if i could spend the rest of my life with a girl. and i realized that so far in my life the only person that i could commit the rest of my life to was a girl, my bach_goddess, my nat_face. but she has always had so many boys that were willing to do the same. so many boys convinced of the same thing. when i think about her i understand why helen sunk a thousand ships. the night i met him i was hopelessly insane again. i had just gave in to that fact when al called me and asked if i wanted to hang out because he was gonna drive me to the airport the next morning. i got super stoned before al picked me up; i used to lock myself in the bathroom in my apartment in milwaukee and light incense and exhale the smoke through a toilet paper tube filled with dryer sheets. we stopped to pick him and tim up on our way back to al's. he immediately started fucking with me because as he climbed in the back seat of the car i stuck out my hand and said 'i'm really stoned, nice to meet you.' that night i tried to teach him how to scowl and showed him my tattoo and followed him out onto the balcony to smoke some cigarettes. as the night progressed i got more sober and he got more drunk. i kept talking about how i failed the theory test i took earlier that day(even music grad students have to take their own version of the bar exam; two tests, one in theory, one in history) and how i had a bunch of dirty dishes in my sink. and when he left that night, the little light that i had finally given up on rekindling flickered and i couldn't stop smiling. two months later, i'm glad that night was the beginning of the end of my craziness. but unfortunately, once again, it only ended because i found someone to latch on to. 050531 ... unhinged john_and_i joseph_and_i anthony photographic_memory 090710 what's it to you? who go blather from