ask_misstree u24 so how's life? 031119 ... misstree ack! oh no! shove it under the rug, who put this here! *scurries about, looking for a piece of furniture to set in front of the blathe* dangit. i was so proud that no one had asked me anything. ah, well. life is glorious, life is dancing languidly, enough to keep my eyes glittering. life has its growling little beasties but they mostly skitter off the path when i come by. life is dropping presents on my doorstep. life is showing me snapshots of the vacation that i'm on. life is even better for the liquicat currently camped on my lap, but that's okay, someday he will be food. life is entertaining and easy enough. yep. 031119 ... Riding the Little Loss Will you dance with me tonight? 031120 ... Anguished Riding Hood In the pastures of thought, the stratospheres of delight that govern my insistent dilemmas? Where angels weep in fields of death, till transcending space and time I am consuming all around me, gorging on these stars - so spurious in their deceitful glimmerings... Offer yourself to the bayonets of their cleaving words but retain the power of the encrypted smile.... 031120 ... misstree i will dance with you any time you can find my grin amongst the shadows, and i will dance for you any time you cannot. follow the faintest sound of silvery bells and you will find me. scent the air with scarlet and i will come. 031120 ... Little Lost Riding Hood I scent the air with scarlet pouring from my wounds, crawling like a forgotten epitaph to the edge of the earth. Hearing your lustrous bells so enchanting in their furtiveness... Lead me to your clearing and show me that which cannot be shown, despise me till you tear at my flesh like a hungry, salacious beast, show me your anger so I can run like startled gazelle...chase me until my feet cry blood, so I can shelter in the comfort of your arm, the warmth of your breath.. Desire me but do not delude me, o sweet misfortune, take my hand... 031120 ... misstree ah, darling, so quickly you have found my achilles tendon; i cannot harm a daughter--they are too revered, too wild, for me to properly corner. but as a game... yes, i will show you, you will feel the startled fear of the Other as i rear up to strike... you will feel fangs rend flesh offered as tribue and then taken as toll... you will feel life and death in the rot of my breath, the fire in my fingers... you will cry out as you fall... and when illusion has played through, i will lick your wounds with tender reverence and in whispers teach you the birthright of the maenids... and we will drink so deep as we dance... 031120 ... Little Lost Riding Hood I will suckle from the breast of a passing bird, malevolant and shattered as it drags me to its iniquitous nest. Your clawing shards of glass thus disguised as hands shall rake me back, saving me from darker skies and empty eyes. I may cry out as I fall, but I will bite my lips in anticipation, and offer you the liquid that sustains my being. Proffer this beautiful bittersweet, crimson elixir - offer in goblets of fire. My twisted universe beckons you my dear, come feast on my delectable body, I am so young and tender that your fangs will slide like hot knifes straight through me. I am quivering in my voracious attempts to digress - yet enjoying every nefarious second... 031120 ... Death of a Rose another playmate. i'll just watch the hunt. 031120 ... oldephebe thas some mighty fine writing ladies yep 031120 ... misstree shards of glass and hands, which is the illusion? such tender strokes cannot come from brittle breaks, but nor can finger's manipulations score so deep with a single pass. i will draw you to me in guarded darkness, show you the night in places where stars do not glitter. it is bliss turned upon itself, this invitation to drink and rend; it is against me to defile in broad strokes such a dancer, but to be beckoned; how could i not come? for you there is not fondness but flame; for you, desire and destruction sit tense and still until you rip them from me, until i am maddened by scarlet scents turned crimson in illumination. i brace myself against my twitches because i lose myself in either direction... to turn away would be unthinkable; to lunge and chase and capture and rend... ah, but how can i not... but how can i when my breath catches at the thought? to devour without diminishing... we would both become more... but i can not... i must not... the hearts of daughters will forever be my downfall... but that is perhaps circuit's completion... such simple sacrifice... 031120 ... xdeath their razor sharp tongues invite you to relax as they slit the skin on your eyelids 031120 ... oldephebe clasps hand to chest.. yeah what i said before..that was..so lovely..the quixotic erotic imagination..a dervish..who stops as quickly as she has begun..and then again pirroeting on the dge of a precipice..each inflamed palpitation sending her closer and closer to...an unfathomed ecstacy..to become inextricably intertwined with your hearts ideal..lay me down upon the burning alter and bring to me my equisite desolation..well gotta a little carried away but who couldn't after reading what you guys wrote? amazing.. 031120 ... misstree i am slave to tongue's trailings; relax i will not, but comply... well, what choice has the captured? it is in the pauses that the dance becomes vital, the breath between beats that churning gathers for the next thrust. i am but a (notso)humble guide... it is your own altar which will taste rebirth's blood... 031120 ... oldephebe misstree - you're good..really good peace my friend 031120 ... misstree *lick!* *wink* *grin* 031120 ... Doar i would, butt fuckin, i'm lazy 031120 ... Little Lost Riding Hood Which is the illusion my illustrious playmate? Surely the sleight of hand - be it glass or flesh and bone - that skims so effortlessly across my brow? Reaching down to caress my pale face - moonlight casting silver shadows that cascade into your darkness like incandescent armies. I feel the quivering thighs that wrap around me, suffocating me in agonizing, delightful contractions. Smooth skin that terrifies me as it envelopes me... Are these my wanton fantasies, fabricated flutters of imperceptible breaths? Are these the illusions, my revered adversary? Show me your fire and I will gladly burn at your stake, shaking with the anticipation of your wrath - I will dance in this flagrant utopia with arrows flying from my heart. I will be your twisted Chimera and I beg you whet my appetite, come to my precipice and yield to my jutting peaks. Expose the soft flesh beneath your unyielding shell. Let me feast before we are disturbed - we will exhalt in our open bodies before we languish in sweet ecstacy. Now the dance has begun i invite you to court me, my empress, in this valley of disdain..... 031121 ... . . 031121 ... x a corset paired with overalls. fashion faux pas? 031121 ... Doar can we bottle up 'x' and sell her scent on the open market? 031121 ... oldephebe LLRH - O..my..f*****g god!!! yeah now i feel totally justified in using the word incapacititing. O rapture O ratpture! they come softly these fire swollen tendrills of erotic, damn i got it! O God the sphere of my freedom grows ever tighter around me! these emissaries flung from your depths maketh my mind a house of unutterable profanation!! Is this what you wished to practice upon me? I cannot take one word more..not One..more and i will be mumbling mayhem..blind prophet of prodigality!..that is what i'll be. here are my captive bonds..speak it backwards and tear this torment out of me..silence..say some incantation..entreat the frost to come out of its season to lay upon this pyre..stop its march upon my eternal soul..repatriate me back to where it was safe and staid and so unstirred..your words, your passion..it is too much..a flame meandering down the plain..please..do NOT consign me to this withering indentureship..endlessly burning pyre..with no canvas to release my burgeoning erotic ambition..erotic imagination.. 031121 ... misstree fabled figure, first you must wait. x, a corset and overalls can be either a hopelessly corny combination or a stunning statement... there's a juxtaposition possible that would need to be combined with a dash of elegance and a dash of irreverence and two spoonfuls of not giving a fuck, with a side of style. doar, no, it would have to be the black market dear, this isn't some chanel no. 5 we'd be peddling, this would be akin to the compound rendered from adrenal glands. 'phebe, watch the fire for your rhythyms, close your eyes and paint. there is someone you need to paint for. 031121 ... Death of a Rose well, my goddess of boobies, its getting cold outside and i haven't felt better in a very long decade. i have no questions for you, just some thanks, because of you and oE's compliments i've screwed up the ego to ask a certain young lady to attend with me a christmas party and she accepted (she also said she wouldn't tell her boyfriend about it), so i'm smiling and happy and feel like dancing, maybe i will. so, i humbly give my offerings of thanks to you misstree. 031122 ... Little Lost Riding Hood Wait I will, in my chamber of fantasy, carried by your whispers to untouchable heights...wild imaginings that send my body writhing into contortions of ectasy. I feel your breath on my back, travelling like a fountain of fire to my inner core, so you enter me with your words and I gasp in delight, a hummingbird to your cage. Can you feel me as I probe and delve? Insistent and yet indifferent, longing for respite from these chasms of enchantment. Like a burning phoenix I am gaining power, pent up aggresiveness that I want to share and drink and love... My tears like angels breath that caress you to sleep, drowning you in a dream of desultory eternities... I await you in my garden of Eden, fresh and dripping from mornings' dew, my petals round and full, and thirsty for your power. I will drink long and hard of you, sustain myself on your thoughts, enter you like a torchered princess would castle. Bated breath and soft resolve, I drape myslef on velvet floors, open to your next advances... 031123 ... oldephebe Little Lost Riding Hood - Two words..incandescant immolation..you're amazing..That is all. 031123 ... Little Lost riding Hood If you judge me by your own standards I doff my cap in humliation. Look inside and see your beauty. It is there - if even you cannot see so. Man - you rock too! 031124 ... misstree you gather power... indeed, little sweetmeat, i can hear hunger begin to turn in you... 'tis a blessing, for you are useless to me without it... i do not crave your feathery caresses, unless i can taste the restraint you bestow them with. i do not crave your lips unless they are maddened for more. when proper time has turned, once thoughts have conspired against you to batter yourself against rocky shore, i will come to you, and not before. once you strain closer to hear hollow whispers, i will tell you secrets enough to make blood burn. your vessel must be full with the most potent brew before you will be brought inside. but once inside, what wonders await?... 031124 ... Little Lost Riding Hood You can remove my glacial cloak of dark secrets, scatter my icicles of fear. Brush aside my tangled locks of hair, the crying love songs weaved through my broken fingers. Expose me to your elements - burn me with your tongue ablaze, catch the butterflies soaring from my stomach as nervously I laugh - rolling the fear around my mouth - savouring your supremecy.... Stick your thorns into my skin and watch me bleed, display my wounds with grandiloquence - exchange tourniquet for tongue as I submit to your barborous touch, but you still deny me? A sultry vixen I can be, wily and artful. Hungering for your blood I will chase you back through darkest hours, attack you in the kingdom of words that draws my fate, till recoiling you relent to my acrimony. Prey turned apon predator - my mouth is aching for your sweet skin, salivating wildly as I close in, dripping my way to your eyes, I have no sounds and vision leaves me alone and blind. I am rampaging through this valley of sin, black and mystifying, and tasting your violent tears as I relish this cold chase. Wait I will, though now in stealth, I track your moves and hear your breath. Enticing you deeper my tantalising play-mate...what wonders indeed await? 031125 ... oldephebe mtree LLRH - Oh such a prurient prize of word and urge to merge into this expanding canvas.. when i read these gyrating verses i shirk off the dusk-light and gape in silent awe at this melange of verbal musk and heat and rush..the blood rushing through the thoroughfares of of swollen capillaries..to sit in anguish and want..who will lead and who will bleed..as we pile upon this crowded canvas each slow and deeply stroked word..and measure by measure, note by note I am falling down. Here it is this dance over distances of seduction. At the edges of passion light, beneath the currents of desire there is this..thread of mockery..this haughty hue of predator hubris and the conquerers conciet..and yet by gradual gradations I am being fattened for the muse..fattened for the flame to light the fuse..O what an orgy of unutterable things..swim in this briskling boiling black cauldron kettle of misbegotten swale..that has become my souls sedition..that has become my unshakable penury of spirit..prurience is winning the war for my piety. Dog of Night and silver back howling at an indifferent sky..white oppressive eye of light staples me to this forever night..as i swoon in the madness of the Moon's silent insidious score..knitting this maelstrom in me...making me thrash like a bass on a blade..all of this..all of these phantom sounds..and conscience calls and i answer it all with tortured Silence. "Come out of It" the distant archangel seems to say..and I cannot summon an answer. Is this the beggining of my Burning.. eternal immolation..sheathed in this passion pyre? Father! Forget me not. Give something to cut the cord..to strike at the wood..and hew a path out of this suffocating wilderness of want and taunt.and oh i am gaunt and what will i have become when next i visit these pages. O porcelain hurled in rage that shatters the thin pane. and not all the tender, dutiful ministrations of faith can extricate me, or restore me.. And I thought there was no IMPEDIMENT between heaven and these tearful entreaties. I am banging my metal tray upon the table..and not one sound..escapes..let me gather unto myself the acoutrements of the Dead to peel back the skin of this corpse..and dig into the dead body of my desolation..delphic oracle lies prostrate in his thorazine stupor and I cast my spittle upon the steam and rock..O you and I we are brothers here we have wandered in from the end of the world..will you give me some word of peace, surcease..part the curtains of time and tell me will this be my destiny..to drown in this hot house of desolation? All of this riot..every entreaty every verse is like fire worms burrowing themselves into the soft wet sod of my lapsed presbyterian rectitude..and now see how the morning birds gather..see how they converge upon this ..oo the unutterable ecstacy of consumption and urge and purge. Not a word..Not a word more will I pray. This is the cell..O bag of meat..that i have shaped..no moe animadversions to be held in abeyance. Come fury, come fire come desolation, take me all. 031125 ... u24 in your most humble of opinoins, what, if any, is the difference between a sacrifice and an offering, and if there is a difference, under what circumstances should the two be used? cheers! . 040210 ... sab and lo, sab came to work one morning to find a most fun present, sitting innocently in her inbox whistling and, when probed carefully, and with lube, all it would utter was http://devia.23ae.com/ and not a drop more and once sab had carefully noted down this magic formula, the email did proceed to crash her entire computer and the network system in general. five days later, when they got it back up and running, the email was nowhere to be seen. but sab was clever, and had already writted it down. and one dark day while the rain poured down outside, making a noise like a crazy street person breathing she wandered into it's orange and white relmes. thoughtfully, she had tied a piece of string around her waist, and fastened one end to a doorhandle before plunging in. ...enlightenment only comes to those who bring their own candles. .. and lo, the string turned out to be a wick. so i guess my question is twofold. got a match? and comming? 040210 ... misstree needs sleep badly much happiness is had by me... u24, such a lickable query, ideas are popping through but i want my brain back before i answer, so probably tomorrow... and sabbinator, i have the feeling that i have brushed fingers across those realms before, if tinglings of memories of addresses serve properly (on hands and knees, of course)... but again, this particular moment is particularly improper... mine brainbox will churn and chomp until the moment of fullness... in other words, brain is out_of_order, we apologize for any inconvenience, pardon our dust, no tresspassing, high voltage, and watch this space. 040211 ... blah-ze why the hell, whenever i see your name, do i get an image of a 30-something guy in jeans and with a goatee and a shifty grin? and why don't i want to get pissed anymore? 040211 ... misstree okay, darlin'... this is a really sticky one (and i lurve ya for it), so i'm going to talk my way through and see what we come up with, yes? the difference between a sacrifice and an offering... in an offering, there is no neccesity of loss... it may be there, but not neccesarily... a sacrifice is a form of offering, in which one is distinctly losing something... a meal can be an offering, but if it's your meal and you don't get to eat it because of the offering, it's a sacrifice. wow. that was easier than i thought. now, when each is appropriate... this gets a bit tricky... an offering allows people to stay on the same level... to share water with someone is to say that you hold them in regard, that you wish to do this thing for them. to sacrifice something is a much stronger act of devotion; to endure a loss for someone else's benefit speaks much more than simply running some tap water. it normally puts the sacrificer into a subservient position, but there are factors that can mitigate that, other aspects of the overall dynamic. only example that comes to mind is if there is an obligation inferred by the sacrifice. sab, still haven't had a chance to be netside away from work, pokings still forthcoming. pretty please patience? blah-ze, you have no idea how high of a compliment i take that. and i have no idea why i do. i'm often told i have a lot of masculine energy; another reason i giggle at the "miss" before "tree"... you're most likely seeing my boyform... if i have dark hair and tend to be leaning back in a chair with my feet on something, i'd say you have it nailed. and anger takes a lot of energy, and has limited uses. it's much easier and much more constructive to not get pissed. not that i'm very good at that or anything, but there it is. 040212 ... Death of a Rose taken that the north americn continent is a highly varieted cultural entity, should immigrants from other tightly controlled cultural socities be blasted head on with the full ramifications of a multicultural existance, in order to strip some of their culture away and therefore meld as easily as possible into the pot; or should they continue to segregate themselves, in the beginning, to well cloistered pockets of ethnic neighborhoods and let succesive generations slowly meld into the new multicultural society? Or should they be intergrated? Reasons for or against. 040212 ... Doar i meant "or should they be integrated at all?" 040212 ... stork daddy can you sacrifice something for me? or at least offer something? 040212 ... misstree veddy veddy interesting question doar... one that i don't quite know the answer to just yet... i'm going to put that one aside in the que and let it stew for a while, try to get down to what i *really* think... and stork_daddy, i could present you with an offering... i could even present you with a sacrifice... but what gain would it bring to me? there is, of course, the entertainment that i gain from doing just about anything i haven't done before, but really, the value of that in this particular circumstance is low... and if i'm going to go this route, it's gonna be a sacrifice, and it's going to be something that stings... the only thing that comes to mind is a sacrifice i am unwilling to make just at this moment... and nothing else occurs to me that would be of benefit for you, except possibly causing you some entertainment, and i'll be damned if i can predict what's going to entertain you and what you're just going to stare at blankly... so the answer is yes, i can give you an offering, and yes, i can sacrifice something for you... but, darling stork, what would you like? 040212 ... sabbie darlin, you can have all the pacience i possess since the random cthulu thing hasn't happened yet. if i grin hopefully about now, that'll make it better, yeah? 040212 ... misstree *cracks knuckles* due to the strange spell that fridays cast on this sea of cubiclism, i have determined that the proper scent of slack and abandonment is in the air to explire... 23ae looks familiar, but lessee... hmm... orange, huh? invoke uberstealth shields... the boss is leaving, that's good... aaah, candles... but where... oh yeah, make the window bigger... *peers down her nose at the site* ah! the movie! i know these buggers! *hopstompshout* 's been a while, though... brilliant folx, these... *rubs hands together* okay, i have a half hour, what innards can i rend from this lurvely little beast... ah! and picking up chicks! the roomie mentioned that same thing last night, divergent convergent, momma's shoving me here for somethin'... yummies... *little tree spends nearly too much time frolicking among yayness of the sort that only the truly silly can bring, and comes out covered in bright orange paint and cool-whip.* aaaaaah... *burp*... that was delicious, and will continue to be so until i have inserted my tongue into each and every delicious corner... as far as return fire... again with the limited net prowling makes trading pocket dimensions a little difficult (though i can just barely fit two packs of cigs in mine), but two sit on shoulders silent, knowing that i cannot deny them... one is exceedingly counterbalance... if big_momma can be found in this site, it is by a mind that indeed should never be allowed to play with a flamethrower in a large crowd (so if any of y'all see me with a flamethrower, take it from me, ya?)... www.ogrish.com makes me twinge and purr in much the same manner as imaginary_dead_girls... just go look... the other is one that my lemony goddess pointed me at, that i have yet to be able to hunt down... it the small denomination of loose change cabal... nola based, i do believe... and i may have the name wrong... but venturing outside this blue in front of a monitor consumes blessedly little of my time (too busy Doing things), so i don't quite know just yet... pretty presents for you... and doar, gawd damn man, it's going to take me just a wee bit longer to hork up a debate with myself that covers that topic... and i must warn you... there is a very good chance that i will express contradictory opinoins during such... but that's for the better, ya? when you don't know, why choose? 040213 ... misstree and i'll have y'all know, it pained me to bump this from between meaningless_sex and incest. ask_me had a nice home and was partying with the neighbors. so there. 040213 ... stork daddy okay misstree. give me your e-mail address. 040219 ... misstree misstree@chaosmagic.com yeah... my name links to one that's been dead for years, an' i'm too lazy to change it. fergot about that question, doar, prolly cook something up tomorrow. 040219 ... sab sab_and_misstree_keeping_eachother_entertain come play tennis with me, plantgirl :) 040222 ... ambermoon do you feel the way things really are? 040222 ... misstree ah, trying to trick me with the slippery fish... but i see the veiled insinuation... that there truly is a "way things really are"... what i feel *is* the way things really are... it's my reality and i will do with it as i please... i will contort it into whatever shape happens to please me... and the undercurrents just beyond my fingertips, the things that are so widely accepted as real? i fear i see through more layers of those than i choose... it gives me an animal fear, sometimes, the very scent of it... dark and angry and rotting... that is why i paint what i can reach with such thick strokes, why i laugh in the face of everything and anything, because if i don't laugh i'll panic and bolt and this world will never see me sane again... 040223 ... Lemon_Soda remember what sane is, dear. can you paint anothers reality, with or without their consent? or simply influence the way they paint it? 040224 ... uknow what spawned that 'by the way'? jus' curious.. 040224 ... .fallen will the bathtub filled with tofu be more fun than the bathtub filled with chicken parts and jello? 040226 ... misstree jiminy_christmas, i'm getting behind. doar, your question is still being chewed on, and will likely be the subject of some drunken debate or another this weekend. take it as a compliment that i can't argue with myself on it; it's just a bit stickier than i can truly swing around my head like a cat. i'll answer once i've argued it. :) soda, there's some really tricky distinctions in there, and i think that both are possible, but i must ask you to hold while i finish calculating the whys and wherefores and hows. brain is slightly shifted from that particular portion of metaprogramming at the moment; apologies. one note, though: virii. uknow, which 'by the way'? /me is confused. .fallen, at this moment i'm much inclined to say the jello and chicken parts, especially if there were a proper variety of flavors to produce that perfect color/scent combination... the way that my brain keeps handling the thought involves playing in it, tactile beast that i am... but there are twitches in place that prevent my easy association with chicken, raw or cooked, being allowed near certain anatomical bits... i know how pervasive the fruit filling was when wrestled in... the thought of pulling out drumsticks and bits of gristle... not to mention that there tend to be quite a few fragile bones going on, and those puncturing skin would be a frightful sanitary nightmare... but, all that aside, i still am quite taken with the idea... i think that if smaller bones were removed (i guess just rib bones and spine would need to take a hike, mostly) and there was a proper mixture of cooked and uncooked, and *especially* if some of the jello had fruit in it, well, a bit messy but much giggles... but then the sensate in me pipes up, going off about the veryverystrange texture that tofu has, and how interesting it would be to wallow in that... especially if someone had managed to get some food dye and liven it up a bit... either way it would be preferable to have a largish tub, for proper wallowing technique, at least in my little universe... so, i guess it would really depend on if i were in a more sensual or playful mood, what answer i would give... but really, what i think needs to be arranged, is hijacking a mansion's bathroom, one with *two* large tubs, each filled with one or another of the substance, and each equipped with an androgynous albino twin, and some experimentation to determine which one really is more entertaining... and sab, every so often, "plantgirl" drifts through my brain and makes me grin. it's currently neck and neck with "lady arboretum" for irreverent reference, but i think that both will be declared weiners in the end. 040227 ... .fallen mmm androgynous albino twins ..... oh the dreams we've had together ....those delightful feral creatures 040227 ... stork daddy so which ones should i look into making presentable and put into ink? 040316 ... ambermoon misstree this may be a dumb question and mabey you cant help me... but i hope some one can...can you erace a blather you've wrote or at least take it off your list of blaths? i have some awful blaths that i'd like to make dissapper...is that possible? is a new bee 040316 ... stork daddy can you erase some of your actions too? 040317 ... misstree stork, it'll take me a day or two of pawing through yer stuff to find some, but i will be morethanhappy to provide a list. (especially since i might just print my own little storkwolfmeat collection while i'm at it). nope, blather_is_forever, you can't unwrite anything you've written. user24 had a good suggestion once that i tend to do at work: before you blather something, write it in notepad or wordpad or somesuch and let it sit for a bit. if however long later (five minutes or a few hours) you still want to blathe it, you know it was meant to be. about half my words never make it to blather. some actions can be erased. but once they leave wounds, it gets a bit more difficult, and more actions must be taken to erase the previous actions. pickup trucks help with that second stage erasure. 040317 ... sameolme nevermind 040317 ... mt eh? 040317 ... sameolme I hit nevermind after 90% of my blathes, reduces regret a bit. Still I have typed more words into blather than all other typing in my life combined. Keyboards are still a novelty in my life. 040317 ... oE i rarely edit myself..so needless to say there's a lot o' me that i wish wasn't sprawled all over blather... 040318 ... smurfus rex how did I get myself into this mess? 040318 ... u24 I'd forgotton I'd said that.. I should start doing it. 040318 ... ambermoon i know that its not purfect, i didnt think it out before i wrote it so it rambles alittle but it reminds me of you in an odd sort of way... please read my post under... christians_only if you dont like it oh well... 040404 ... am Christians_only 040404 ... jane now it's time to ask you the question you asked me on ask_jane because i had asked jezebel earlier. what do you think about girls? 040404 ... misstree re Christians_only, very pretty, ambermoon... put a smile on my face... but no, that was not the me... i am far from the only tree in the world, and i am occasionally astounded by how few people talk to trees... some do get cranky, and some are just plain strange (like the psychotically motherly one at the playground), but really, most trees spend their days leaf_dancing with the wind and cradling songbirds and dappling sunlight and feeling storms howl and sending out small tendril roots to grow and nurture, so i'm not too surprised that most trees are pretty calm and pleasent creatures... that one especially exemplifies the magic that trees can fruit if they bend their branches to it... and jane, my darling, oh boy... what do i think of girls, huh? much of me wants to put this question off for an indeterminate amount of time, but i know how flighty my brainspace is of late, so i'm going to babble for a bit and see what comes out... bear with me if it seems pretty flaked out... but, well, girls, man... darling_daddy can tell you what a dork i turn into, and she's been instrumental in helping me come to terms with the kaleidoscope sizzles that girls induce... daddy asked me one night why i get competitive when i get around girls, especially when, and i know how egotistical this sounds but it's not meant that way, other girls very often feel either intimidated by me (in a good way) or want to bond with me... i don't bond easily... but, example, there was this cuteasabutton little goblyn girl at fighting practice on sunday, sixteen years old, already blossoming into the first stages of her godself... she was flirting with me, rubbing me knee and suchnot... she had picked up on the outlines of my personality through my conversations with some of the fighters... and she began to puppydog me... now, any boy tries this and they get laughed off the planet... but i was too busy saying to myself "ohmygod, ohmygod, she thinks you're neat, don't scare her off, don't pick her up and throw her over your shoulder and run off with her like you want to because that's what *boys* do when they feel like this and you're not a boy and that's not acceptable"... problem is, if i can't react like a boy, how the hell should i react? i don't know what girls do when they like eachother... well, i do, but... it's so... yeah, so i get intimidated... me, the big scary rawr tree that eats grannies for breakfast, is nearly pissing herself with fear because this bitty sixteen year old is making eyes at her... but i got away from daddy's question, didn't i? sorry... she was adorable... i want to keep her in my backpack forever and ever... i'd be so very nice to her... that's another thing, did i say? i'm more than a little brutal with boys (most times i'd far rather leave them bloody than so much as let them eat my twat), but with girls, it doesn't come out quite the same way... now, i do play similar games... there was one tuesday_goth_night a bit back that ended with me christening a new tool on two curvydarling's backs, one because i have somuch affection for her and know that it would bring her happiness, and the other because i knew that she liked such things and i wanted to make her whimper and sting and hate herself because she couldn't handle it... but such things are also somewhat like bisexuality, unless i really know that a girl is into it, i'm very shady about going there with her... girls tend to break much more easily than guys, or at least guys refuse to admit it for longer... that whole proving the manhood thing... and *again* getting away from the question... part of why i love daddy so much is that (s)he asks me tough questions, doesn't let me slide on anything... he does it because she loves me... and i bitch and moan but i Appreciate it... but why do i "get competitive"... the first thing that came to mind besides "i do not! liar!" was high school... i went to a relatively affluent school, and high school was literally the first time in my life that i started having friends... they were the freaks and the geeks, none of us *really* fit in... but even they had some idea how to be a girl, where i definitely did not... raised mostly by my dad and all... not a tomboy, just a tree... but being surrounded by all these cardboard cutout preppie blondes in their gap clothes that always looked Right on them, and their hair that never had flyaways or weird little curls right on the temples, and the way they could talk to a boy and he wanted to do the sex with her, all of it left me utterly baffled... to this day i feel like i never really learned how to be a girl, despite the fact that i almost never wear pants, and i'm a legendary flirt, and i do have all these feminine aspects, i know that i've got buckets of boybits that come shining through, and i feel like an imposter when faced with a real, honest-to-god female, born and bred... so that, i believe, is the answer to daddy's question... (s)he may not agree that it's complete, but he'll just have to poke at me more if she wants me to provide a more complete response (note that such pokings would likely be more for my benefit than hirs, but that's part of daddy's path)... i wander, i wander... there are bad sides to girls, too, bad habits that are trained in and don't always get taken out, and physical predispositions if you believe in such things (i'm a middle-grounder on that one with a few people constantly quarreling in my head over the extent)... f'rinstance, i *don't* do drama... let me say that again... i *don't* do drama. i don't care who's fucking who or who i should be mad at about it... not my life, eh? though i will occasionally lose my sense of proportion regarding emotional matters (now i feel like i have to be extra honest because between daddy and the other water_brothers, they would all die laughing if i said i never had emotional outbursts), it's not done for manipulation; it happens because i really am that mercurial. i manipulate men, but i manipulate their penises, egos, and ultimately wallets, not their hearts. i refuse to think less of someone because their shirt doesn't match their skirt. (though i do turn my nose up at girls who wear jeans so tight they get the little roll over the edges, even when they're standing up. -10 sexy points when you were going for +5.) i think children are hellspawn, and i have a hard time bonding with mothers. i think many women are afraid to sieze their own power and talk about things like sex toys and masturbation (i myself am still working to make myself more comfortable with the deeper details, and it *does* involve work). i think that women are raised too heavily intuitive, and don't neccesarily run things through logic filters enough, especially in areas involving emotion. i'm not talking about crying over the last piece of chocolate cake being gone--i know how outbursts go, especially when either hormonally driven or as a trigger for things that have been building. i'm talking about girls who obsess over married men. who stay in abusive relationships. who refuse to admit that anorexia might be a bad idea. i dunno; if my brain weren't seriously running out of steam, i might think of more. so, well, what does this all leave us? i think most girls are aliens who need to stay away from me lest i get the urge to bash their faces into a brick wall. but once i meet them, i like most of them. but i still think they're mostly aliens. i think the intuitiveness is a beautiful thing if it's tempered properly (caesar's gossamer girl comes to mind, and the glowing being that put us up for the week), but it's very often *not*, and leads to the "women are insane" generalization... and drama... and drama is useless bullshit... and i didn't even touch just how ungodly beautiful the female form is, the beauty to be found in such a variety of breasts, how the tuck of the waist just calls for roaming hands, how well-carried curves make me almost ferociously desirous, because i'm not afraid of breaking someone, because curvy women feel almost more real... and i didn't mention that nearly all women have this incredible power inside them, only sometimes it's turned in on itself... sheesh... i know i probably have more to say on the subject, but i have to go smoke a cigarette... and rest my brain for a while... sheesh... 040405 ... mt oh yeah, and i honestly didn't mean to offend anyone, so if i did, well, once you get over it you'll be a stronger person. or something. *scratches head* *wanders off* 040405 ... sab dearest misstree will you take me camping one day? because i've always wanted to go and tell me about a) your fav tree b) your favourite window c) your kind of coffee, and an average number for the day and d) your favourite headspace much, much love sab 040408 ... misstree you've never been camping??? darlin', that's a crime! there's something so very very special about falling asleep in the middle of nowhere with just a flimsy tent around you, waking up to sunlight and leaves dappling your tiny home, dragging yourself outside, starting a fire, and making strongandnasty camp coffee while the birds sing your wakeup song... if you suddenly find yourself teleported to yellowstone i'll have found the best spot, something where we can see both the mountains and a lake or a waterfall or somesuch... otherwise, i'll just have to save up a little extra phat ca$h and come see what australia looks like outside the cities... dunno about all those poisinous things, though... unless you're going back to europe soon (originally from, yes?), in which case i'll meetcha halfway. in either case, i'll make sure to tell tons and tons and tons of stories of the beauties of jellystone. anyhoo, on to the questions... a) i have special affections for so many trees, both in type and in specific, that it's hard to say... there's some japanese phrase that means "the transient beauty of a falling cherry blossom petal," and those happen to be just starting to bloom, so they are very much in my mine... deciduous trees have such a beautiful swan song... sego trees in africa are sacred for a reason... but individuals... i've talked to so many over the years... it nearly comes down to three... two are in this town... both have the low-slung branches that take even putzes like me off the ground, have the swoops that cradle peoples just right... but my all-time favorite... in new_orleans, in audubon park, there is a giant tree just by the main enterance... it's probably about five feet diameter, if not more... it's immeasurably tall... there are places where concrete has been poured as a way of shoring up its branches... and its roots sit above the ground to at least a ten foot diameter... i used to go there, when i needed a place to think, when i needed to be away from the dirty nasty concrete french quarter and remind myself what greenery was like, and i would sit at its roots, and just think, or read, or write, but in any case have quiet moments with just myself and grandpa tree... now, many trees have strangeness to their attitudes, but grampa was always just very calm, it had been there so long and seen so much, it was this slow radiation of acceptance... yeah... b) another tough one, split solidly between two... the first doesn't exist anymore... it was my window at amityville, where the bottom panels were just lifted out, nice big windows that faced north, on the third floor, only about a foot above the ground and with sloped roof just beneath them... they were the top center of the house, and i would sit there for hours and talk to the trees and watch the world go by in this quiet little neighborhood, watch friends come up the walk, watch cats wander off in search of their secret names, watch rainstorms roll through (for there was an overhang as well)... the other window was also a third floor... man, i wish i could draw diagrams... i had a one-room apartment, shared bath, shared kitchen, sloped roofs that would be claustrophobic to anyone but a den-dweller, and on the front (relative to house) wall, there was a little niche cut forward that was just perfectly sized for my bed, which just happened to come up to four inches below the windows... so all day and all night i would lean against the walls at the head or foot, play on my computer or read or watch tele, and again watch the world go by... there was a lot more student traffic there, it wasn't as concentrated with magic as the area immediately around amityville, but it was such a nice catperch... and for some reason, i am compelled to note that realistic_optimist lived in both houses at some point... moving right along... c) coffee, in order to be true Coffee, should pour at about the consistency of heavy cream... i like it so thick that you have to add a quarter cream before its color starts to actually lighten, bitter in that pure way, maybe even the slightest bit burnt... i hate coffee that's been in the freezer, it destroys the oils... i dislike most flavored coffee, but will do with a bit if i can mix it with real stuff... never touch it with sugar... honey sometimes, especially if i can add a dash of fresh ground black pepper... chickory coffee is also quite delish... and i will settle for most diner coffees with no complaints, except ihop, because i know how often they clean those carafes, which is to say, absolutely never, and it shows. my coffee consumption has actually gone down to nearly nil as of late... my stomach and i are trying to reforge a friendship that bartending thoroughly shattered, and i can't seem to keep milk in the house or keep my coffee pot mold-free, and the brown stuff in the machine at work is an insult to caffeine, not to mention the nectar that it pretends to emulate. i do still indulge in energy drinks (red_bull is easiest to come by, but bawlz is by far the absolute best energy drink i have ever tasted in my entire friggin' life, and there's only one i've seen and haven't tried yet, because it's expensive and sold at hot_topic and i'm a broke mofo with no car)... when i do get a chance at coffee, it varies by the sitchimation... if my stomach is relatively empty, i keep it to about a cup and a half, but in an hour at a diner, i usually go through at least three. like i said, that whole stomach thing. gawd damn, i want some goooooood coffee now. lookit what you did. 'course, i also have to mention that i had to restrain myself from interpreting the word coffee as a verb, as there are many ways of coffeeing, but whim told me to go this direction. d) now this is a tough one. in liber_null by peter carroll, he goes off about ecstatic states... basically, when you get scared "out of your wits" or get your brain fucked out or see a sunset so beautiful you just start spontaneously leaking about the eye region. he names six base emotions (love, hate, sex, death, desire, and fear) and describes the ecstatic state associated with each... though i disagree with him verily on what that particular form of desire is, that would be it... he names it Joy... i say "joy" is a dancey little sonofabitch that means too many things to mean anything without a dissertation... i call it Play... the breathless_grin of rolling down a hill, anything that makes you go whee... i'm a foocking drunk because it's easier to access through that window... because i holler and make merry and skip along through life and fatted calves buy me drinks and the dj is psychic and everything is just fucking beautiful, the world is dancing and it's covered with pretty shiny things... because i'm queen of my own little universe, sober or not... it's subtly shifted from ecstatic Love because i know too much about callousness and cruelty, and that heart-swelling gratitude that people/animal/places/things/plants exist because they make the universe a better place will always be tainted... and the ecstatic version of sex, well, on: adultery i talked about it a good long time, but suffice to say that it's getting knocked out of your skin, which is a little bit too disconcerting to be properly enjoyable. whew. my wrists are going to go limp into a corner and cry now. 040409 ... sab thank you babe. that was beautiful and in return, i give you this: australia_for_mistree 040422 ... misstree Q: hey, where have you been, wench? A: i'm leaving for jellystone sunday, no longer working in a cubicle farm, and thus my 'net time is being eaten by other things, like giving away most of my worldly posessions and breaking people's heads and getting piss drunk. Q: so, will you still be around? A: i have always existed, and will always continue to exist. i'll just be mostly lurking and only poking about every once in a while, as i'll be more likely to leave a message in the hollow of a tree than immerse myself in the electronic world. Q: but, i really wanted to talk to you about something. A: misstree at chaosmagic dot com. or misstree's_rambling_roof. or here. or tell it to a little birdie; i tip that particular courier service very well, it'll get to me. Q: um, so, you'll remember us, right? A: always. with fondness. and i have always existed, and will continue to exist. it's just that y'all don't have to put up with quite as much of my particular brand of obnoxious for a while. 040423 ... minnesota_chris one less person to blatherstalk, sigh 040424 ... mt from above: Death of a Rose taken that the north americn continent is a highly varieted cultural entity, should immigrants from other tightly controlled cultural socities be blasted head on with the full ramifications of a multicultural existance, in order to strip some of their culture away and therefore meld as easily as possible into the pot; or should they continue to segregate themselves, in the beginning, to well cloistered pockets of ethnic neighborhoods and let succesive generations slowly meld into the new multicultural society? Or should they be intergrated? Reasons for or against. 040212 as a matter of fact, i will actually have something to say about this, though it will take me just a bit longer. thankee for the tough question, though, and reminding me of it. :) 040827 ... misstree doar, well, still keeping that question to the side. give me a good bone someday. from 'skite_recipes: "hubby? Are you married? Or is he just a generic hubby that one can rent? tell me more" -minnesota_chris so, i'm moving out of the back of the magic shop tonight, so i don't quite have time to write the kind of answer that i want to, so you'll have to be satisfied with this for now: yes, i am married, kind of but definitely, and it was a hell of a ceremony. more to come... 041227 ... realistic optimist i'm still pissed that i was not invited to the ceremony. of course i would have probably had to decline, but still, being water brothers with both the groom and bride... anyway, my question is two-fold: have you had a chance to give 9_11_2_2004 a good listen, and if so, what are your thoughts? 041227 ... u24 are you still here? 050111 ... misstree sometimes. not much of a net connection, not much time for words, not many words. but still here. 050111 ... u24 how's Eris treating you these days? 050121 ... misstree well, she's there. was quite in doubt for a while, the quad citities are a very grey area. not formalized grey, like overcast grey, dead television grey, overstuffed food coma grey. also, having been in a rather bad way lately, well, it's hard to shit sparkles when you got a belly full of worms. but she's there, and the landslide into the next phase has started, and she plays with everything from seat belts to washer buzzers, just rustling them to remind me there's something in the bushes. but in the meantime, well, i'm grim and hard and nasty a little bit because i have to be, because it beats letting all this stuff get to me, and that mode doesn't really invite the big E out to dance too much. but soon. soon. there is a kingdom to be crafted here, even if it is empire of the idiots, and cash flow will open lots of doors and keep the brainspace from being too bad, and so Big Momma will be comin' round the mountain soon. (the train is hax0r l337, it goes w00t w00t! sorry...) 050129 ... misstree and while you're at it... you know the game sink, ya? found rules for an online version. tasty. find it yerself. 050129 ... oldephebe "it's hard to shit sparkles when your belly is full of worms" man...i hope the belly inhabitation/infestation by writhing phylum anelida is just a iris exploding metaphore for being soul sick 'cause worms in the belly ..man sounds like some voodoo spell of displacement or transmogrification or spontaneous generation presaging the arrival of the Big Bad or something mtree free of societal or patriarchically imposed inhibitions, makes the distinction between what is merely a convention of the culture and what is a truly the consequences of a life affirming or soul stealing mode of being. mode of being? man that was like walking over rocky ground on stilts, my stilt split a clod of dirt that had the consistancy of cement - it felt like someone was forcing brussel sprouts down my mouth as i typed those words... "she freed me from my dark night of repression, it was 1967 and I was the chancellor at the Ray Hickey Pentecostal School for wayward boys and she was a day worker who sometimes served the slightly higher standard of gruel in the faculty dining lounge." be well mtree and now it's time to contemplate a lark ... 050129 ... u24 glad to hear you didn't lose faith. (faith? hahahahaha.) the train? are you trying to sink me? i found the rules. what do you think about boxes? 050130 ... misstree boxes. yeeesss... see, i love and hate them. sometimes they're really useful, and they help you carry shit around and keep things from trying to be everywhere at once (excellet herders, ya?) and sometimes they just take up space or help other things take up space, and sometimes it's good for those other things to take up space and sometimes it's really just crap that you should have gotten rid of years ago, or worse yet, are hanging on to for someone else. in my oh_so_humble_opinoin, they're useful, and to be appreciated for that, but keep in mind that they got pointy corners and their value is determined entirely by their usefulness (though there are pretty_boxes, those are something else entirely) and they need to be gone through on a regular basis and make sure you keep the really useful stuff out of them and when you dredge old stuff out, fluff it up and get it used to the new air, because things suffocate when they're kept in a box. see, when i'm thinking instead of actually talking, i don't need to breathe, so i run on like that. werks. is grateful for the distraction. 050131 ... ~the_nobody~ wow...great poetry! 050201 ... I meant to say "mtree..free of societally or patriarchically imposed conventions and the adherence to the moral (meaning psychic instrumentality of subjugation by a defacto extention of the patriarchical bridle) imperative of observing obsolescent notions of female modesty." 050201 ... mt = "you're a righteous beyotch." naw, just an ogremuffin. ;) 050201 ... u24 what does the word 'envelope' mean to you? 060421 ... misstree hokay, so i had a fantabulous time writing a response, got to play with words like mad, spent a bit o' time on a day off with the sun shining all happy and all... and then my net connection went down. for a while. but luckily, wordpad is your friend, so here you go, after much ado and delay: why i love "envelope". *curtsies to thunderous applause* your timing is of course auspicious, as i've had cause to say this at work more than usual in the past few days... the first thing that i would like to note is that there is much joy to be had by altering pronounciation of this word, specifically playing buggers with the vowels... i personally pronounce it to rhyme with end-bell-oat-pee rather often, though saying it with overemphasised elegance has its appeal as well. but that's just what my tongue has to say about it. i like this word. i like it a lot. it's a very thinly disguised close kin of "envelop," which has such an air of enshrouding, closing around, not consuming but taking something in... quite a powerful image, especially when used in slipperyspeak about metathought... tpo be enveloped is to be utterly inner to something larger than yourself, a rather identity-ravishing thing. there is also self as enveloper... to consume something without digesting it, swallowing a stone so that it will reside inside you... and that's just another tangent in this tangly diagram of why envelope is fantastic... also because of its roots, when applied to its literal meaning, it is so functional, so to the point... that's what envelopes do, they envelop, that is their one purpose in life (being used as notepad a very unfulfilling envelopes that have never had the chance to envelop)... and i think that's all i have to say about that. a beautiful spring day is heavily distracting. thankee muchly for the poking to roll some words around on my tongue. hugs sent across the... well, from the west coast, either way it has to cross a continent or an ocean, so let's just aim for through the earth and out the other end. 's not impossible. :) 060430 ... ever dumbening may i include you in my imaginary_blather_harem? you and sabbie and dipperwell and nomme and on and on. you all make me want to roll around naked in a giant pile of your words, a child in a midwestern autumn's mountain of leaves, crunch crunch. you all blend darkness and light so carefully, not cautiously mind you, but with care, with mindfulness. you point our eyes to the blood, reminding us that even these dark things scatter and reflect light. you point us to the healing brokenness, to the hope of the beaten. and there is no proselytizing, no pretense, jsut (sic) yourselves, boldly, unashamed. thank you all. james 060430 ... Death of a Rose MissTree must be whopping up a fairly heavy article laden with references, footnotes, interviews, cast callings, webshots, historical delvings and general apocalyptic meanderings for me. Either that or the doctorate thesis needs a spell check. Either way, mine convoluted question was, truthfully, off the cuff of mine brain. And if Mr. Everdumbening has crafted you into a word harem already, do you contract yourself out in any spare time you find? I'd be willing to top that generous offer I once presented you with. Heck, I'd throw in some well thought out original prose and not at all like the drunken meanderings I've posted here in the past. Anyways, where was I going with this? (That's another question) All sarcasm aside, of which I have in seemingly abundant proportions, I do hope you are enjoying your new found life MT and I salute you with a bucket of bloody brains. AVAST YA SCURRILOUS WENCHBEAST!!! ARRRRR. :) 060430 ... LS Sister, heh. Hugs. 060430 ... jane are you still in portland? if not, where are you? what have you been doing? 070712 ... misstree yep, still in portland, and loving it to bits. i've been doing... well, the past three weeks have been filled with chicago and being there for my mother's death, so it's kinda hard to think past that, but kinda neccessary, too, put a piece of perspective in me. unrolling time backwards, to mark the events shown in the rings. i met a gent, also tree, good friend and driving me mad to date with uncertainty of more. i got a job as a hospital assistant at a vet clinic, and love it, animals and sharp things and competence and not dealing with customers. before that too much poverty, crushing and closing and filling all with grey grit, but allowing freedoms with my time that i do not regret. i sew and sew, not as much as i should by any means, but as much as i do, and make things out of fur that set everyone to squealing. and i'm drunk and exhausted and have to wake up tomorrow morning, but have a bit of glow that not only was i in thought, but enough to ask after. 070713 ... zeke i am sorry. 070713 ... jane that sounds exciting - ever since i was a wee one i have dreamed of working exclusively with animals. e worked at the spca here in town for a while, and - incredible storyteller he is - i heard heartbreaking tales alongside fantastic joyous ones. new question: why a tree? how long have you been a tree? how long have you known? where do your roots lay? 070713 ... misstree There are many levels on which beings communicate, and i consider it to be a common myopia to think symbolic language to be so spiffy that everything else falls to the wayside. I speak well with animals for the same reasons i am a good meat_worker; being able to reach through other channels, read and speak alike. Plus, there's that whole unabashed_affection thing coming from most of the fluffies, and gladiatorial combat with well-armed ninjas from the occasional cat. My particular love for the visceral serves me well there, also. I'm thoroughly intrigued by both the ways of controlling animal meats, joint locks to stick needles in, and in the meat inside. The doctor is a long friend of mine, and slipped me freshly neutered cat sacs under the table, which were later given to the crows as payment money... but that's another_story, and goes into the time that a crow was euthanized there... and that gets long and off the point. Trees. I'll start with the evolution of that aspect of Name... i was born Teresa, and would have been Terrence if boy, for the purpose of naming Teri, after a gent who died in a motorcycle crash a month before i was born. (As a side note, i was also concieved in a haunted_house, so i really shouldn't be surprised that i'm a fan of talking to dead folk.) For years this reigned, until at rocky_horror there was also a larry, carry, jerry, and mary. I told a series of bad jokes about trees as part of my sniffing and harrassing virgins, and a friend who failed to summon my attention by calling Teri found that yelling Tree was much more effective. From that moment, it followed me like a new pup, and i accepted it, and long allowed others to choose which they called. Tree won more often than not. Long before this, i remember sitting in a restaurant with my father, and he telling me about speaking to the spirits in the trees while bike riding, and being surprised that he, a staunch atheist, felt it too. When first granted the name, it felt almost sacreligious, like calling a christian "jesus," but i resolved to do my best by it and allowed it to follow. As far as where my roots lay... for long long long time they were in chicago, at least a tendril of them, with my parents. When I went back to see my mother through the end of terminal illness, i brought back everything else i had there that i cared about, declaring portland Home. I'm not yet truly rooted here, but close enough for government work, as the saying goes. There are many other ways to answer the question of why a tree, but they deserve more attention than i can quite give at the moment, and i think i would like to pose the question to newest-met tribe, also Tree (thus tree_to_tree) and who speaks as thickly as i write. Good sharing. For the moment, thanks for the questions, and here's to hoping i have it in me to rant more on that other one. 070715 ... sameolme So, are you still in the vicinity of this planet? All your tubes, and other parts and pieces hanging together ok? 080225 what's it to you? who go blather from