out_of_order carey nice website 010205 ... puredream Today I went into the washroom to change my clothes and one of the stalls had a sign that read "Out of Order". Such an innocent and insignificant little sign should not start one reflecting on their life and self. But I did. I was thinking about removing the sign and sticking it on my back and making another for my front. So that people coming and going would all know that this one right here*points to self* is Out of Order. That's what it comes down to. I'm out_of_order, most indefinitely broken. My thought processes are becoming finite. My dreams obsolete. My perserverance and motivation are non-existant. I'm failing. Falling. I think I even forget to breathe now and again. It's really very frightening. I make my mother cry. My sister hate me. My father yell or drink or something. I make my friends confused. I make it absolutely impossible for myself. Impossible to cry breathe smile love run dream succeed believe accept feel safe give laugh I make all things impossible for myself. Because I am out_of_order. I am just plain broken. I need a fixer upper. 040615 what's it to you? who go blather from