depression Nate Higgins Nothing | can / stop - me now | cause / i - don't care | any / more - | | | | /| | | | | / | | | | |/ | 991030 ... gunshy depression is what happends when you can't close your eyes anymore 991214 ... JTR Hey pig nothing's turning out the way I planned... 991214 ... apr!l if i break down now, what will i almost do tomorrow? 000129 ... spamboy the good thing about depression is that you get to stare death down in the face; whether it be from a knife, gun, bottle of pills, etc., and you get to give him shit. and he cant do anything but stay and listen, because he has to be there in case you go through with what you planned. a captive audience as it were. 000304 ... girl fun little catch phrase i wont let myself catch it 000327 ... Midnight Bliss is something hard to deal with, something caused by a buildup of emotion. it's an emotional drought. help me out of this hole... 000402 ... MollyGoLightly Is it contagious? 000402 ... Brad I hope not molly. I hope stupidity isn't either. 000402 ... calliope i think it might be contagious. when i'm depressed it seems to catch and takes a while for everyone to get over. 000406 ... MollyGoLightly Hmm...I know about this. It's telling someone over and over that they need professional help. AND they refuse. AND refuse. AND refuse. All the while trying to drag you down with them. Depression is frustrating and not worth the trouble. Avoid it. Go play in the sun. 000413 ... Christy was where I lived when I stood before the mirror and hated the reflection. It was only when I finally opened my eyes that I saw something worth loving. It's so easy to revel in the darkness, believing the blindness is reality. 000427 ... birdmad "is it any wonder i can't sleep all i have is all you gave to me" 000427 ... jennifer sunlight makes me ill and lethargic d.e. 000427 ... grasshopper don't beat up on yourself. good things come and return from whence they came. they have never been ours. enjoy what you have when you have it.. there's always something that helps. 000502 ... lisa_is_bionic Happiness is only a day away. 000526 ... Al is dark.....mostly just darkness, ugly thoughts entering your mind, with ugly beginnings and ugly ends, help can't always be found- a psychiatrist isn't the answer i believe. 000703 ... silentbob when you are sad for an elongated period of time, depression ensues. it's like a disiese. it is a quiet rainy sadness. cold. lots of angry writing and lack of eating. just tons of emotion pouring out of everything you do. you never really open your eyes all the way, just slit lids, all the time. No matter where you are, there's one thing everyone can connect and relate to. You walk into a room of 40 completely different people and just say "Depression" you'll get the same response, like, "Oh yeah, been there" and all that shit. everyone thinks they wrote the book on depression and that no one has seen what they see, because, maaaaaan they've been through some gnarly shit. People that say "Oh! I never get depressed!" You're a liar..and you're boring. Henry rollins is cool. 000705 ... Mary Don't do it. There is a better answer- Even if you can't see it yet. There will be someone to love you- Even if you haven't met them yet. There is always hope- Even if there's nothing to hope for yet. Always something for you in life- Even if you have not lived it yet. 000713 ... klarchen That draining feeling inside of me that absolutely refuses to go away. Just when I forget that it is there, it comes back with a venegance, ready to saturate everything that could be something with emptiness. And I pray for the rain. 000713 ... eruth be To JTR is Pig Bodine a friend of yours ? 000723 ... Aaron it's the feeling that trys to eat at me from the inside out. but you can't get me down. cause it don't work like that, hey depression, i'll kick you ass. come get some. 000805 ... silentbob Decorated Sorrow 000805 ... birdmad seething tearing twisting me from the inside out rearranging my emotional furniture like some deranged metaphysical interior decorator on crack damn 000805 ... guitar_freak depression is something you can never escape an evil a darkness an underlying fact a terror an illness that stays on your back a scary thing that I succum to it is an enemy that never lets you forget your misery your pain your heartache your life 001011 ... d ... will be only 2nd to heart disease as the world's most debilitating disease by the year 2020 - according to the World Health Organization. 001012 ... startfires tick, tick, tick... % * & ^ % $ # @ 001012 ... jennifer (crimson_piles) oh. hello there. i can't say i've missed you, because you've never left. why are you so resistive? twelve, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12, antidepressants later and yet you plague me still. we should be on a first name basis. we could be lovers. you wake up with me every morning. you sit in my pockets and on my shoulders and breathe every breath that i breathe. you greet my friends. you read my essays and my review questions. you write in my journal. you live in my paint. you sleep with me, through the night. waking me when you're unhappy. 001022 ... stupidpunkgirl over generalized disorder what i have... an excuse to not do anything to be mean to get out of math class but not worth it for what i have to put up with lost friends lots of tears sharp objects pierce loniness darkness and death 001219 ... twiggie is hitting me worse now. i hate it and i want it to go away. 001219 ... kx21 the burst of emotional, economics, etc. bubbles. 001220 ... guitar_freak fuck depression. I am so fucking sick of it. three attemps at death, yet still no freedom. therepist after therepist and med after med. it plagues me every day. year after year. it never ever ends. If god never gives anyone something they can't handle, then why is their suicide? 001222 ... deadporn* i have no escape from depression..i just am i dont know why either..i have one thing i live for anymore and that is my dear sweet boyfriend whom i love extremly with all my wretched gray heart...but actually to tell you the truth..i love being depresed i love misery it is my sweetest friend..i love it to deth...the darkness and hate one feels inside wen depressed the emotional fear ...just the depressed feeling..the feeling of wanting to die..deth itself i love..im completly fucked i know i do not want help i do not want to git treatment for depression because i LOVE IT..people complain they want out of it..why? what about it do you not like? you cut yourself to escape the inner pain? why it doesnt do anything! i used to cut myself to escape the inner pain but i have no inner pain!ive never been abused ive never been raped...you people who have a true reason like that to be depresed should be glad taht you are depresed and dont have a stoopid reason for it in fact i would jsut damn well like to be abused i love the pain....ok well this is going no where so ..e.rm bye 001229 ... Megan Genetic in my family, like a lot of families these days. My mom says it gets worse in winter cuz of lack of sun or something... ok, yeah, fine. I hate how some of the symptoms aren't even being "depressed". They're called being lazy or antisocial or whatever. And I hate it when people are all like, you're "just" depressed. Those are the people I know who have never been depressed, truly depressed. The kind of depression where logically you can think you're gonna get out of it, but you never really know for sure. The kind that can go on for months, where the only thing keeping you from offing yourself or falling into a world of drugs and isolation is the thought that eventually your life will come back and won't you be sorry. The kind that has gone on my whole "adult" life, and I don't even really want to get out of it. Because I am depressed. Depression is part of who I am now. No amount of drugs or therapy will change that. When people tell me they're depressed or have clinical depression, I always wonder if it's the same as mine, or even how it could be different. I wonder if their emotions are as intense as mine, and if the indifference is as confusing and disorienting to them as it is to me. 001229 ... twiggie at first they told me i was only depressed because of the situation i was in and that it would go away within a few months. the situation is long gone (years), and i'm more depressed than i was. i never was depressed about a certain situation. it was never because of a boy or because i had to move or because i was mad at my parents. i just was. they didn't even bother to look in my family history to see if maybe it was genetic. they didn't ask or seem to even care until months and months later, then they found out that yes, it was in both sides of my fucking family. i'm so sick of people asking me what's wrong and then saying "oh you're just depressed". i'm sick of teachers telling me that it doesn't matter how much anxiety a certain class brings to me, i have to take it, unless i have a medical condition. i HAVE a fucking medical condition you dicks! just because i'm not having goddamn heart attacks doesn't mean that i'm doing fine. i hate taking medication for it. i feel like i'm putting something unnatural into my body to make me "normal", to offset how i'm really feeling, how i'm really suppost to feel. i don't think i've ever taken it long enough to actually make me feel better. i just make myself think that -this pill is going to make me happy today-. 001230 ... kx21 Level / degree of depression is directly proportional to the size of e-bubble, i.e. emotional bubble. Don't create and blow or attach to any e-bubbles. And you will be free from depression and as free as a bird. 001231 ... kx21 i_can't_sleep without the bubbles... 010101 ... kx21 In particular, e_bubble. 010101 ... Quiggz Hey, I was there, I was on the edge once. And I'd say it's gonna be alright, but I know from experience, that words don't matter, they're just empty. Just words. All I can do, for all of you out there, is hope you make it through, and try to get you to believe that, no matter what, there's always gonna be at least one person pullin' for ya. I'm hoping for you all to get through it, because I know what it's like, and, no matter how many times it's been said, death is not the answer. It only makes other people feel bad, and those of you who are really depressed, I know you wouldn't want anyone to feel the way you do. So keep on pushing, day by day. That's how I did it. Remember, we're all in this together. 010102 ... COLDandBLUEkitty a dream world. where you can't see behind the fog. it rarely lifts.. and when it does- hurricanes arize it it's place. it numbs you. and becomes familiar. almost a friend that you're not sure how to live without. a lifetime of shit. years of numb. i still.. can't feel anything but my neas.. and if i say ouch.. or this hurts.. it's out of habit. odds are.. i can't even feel it. the numb's so bad.. i once cut myself so deep that i hit a blood vessle. and didn't feel it.. or care. it bled for three days straight. and i'm not talking about like a normal cut produces blood.. i mean.. like towels soaked with blood through the