alone
charley Feeling alone surprisingly attracts more loneliness. See: Endless loop. 980907
...
emma a position in which i frequently am. not that i should complain; it is after all i who puts herself in these positions.... aw, fuckit, I can't continue this thought; my grammar is too bad. i need some damn sleep. 980920
...
blind sometimes, i miss being alone. 980921
...
kathryn Is a nice choice sometimes. But only sometimes, and only as a choice. 981013
...
[marissa] the candle flame extinguished. and that solitary lick of smoke,
twirling up to the stars.
tp Big DiPpEr...CasSeiOPia...OriON;
alone and twisting,
an undulating rope of sand that stretches.
up above and onward,
in solitude and isolation. again. where the air breathes instant death..
981023
...
rae alone is not empty. alone is not loneliness. it is a point in time when you are more surrounded by your furniture than your friends. 981024
...
emma i like furniture. furniture can't beat you up or wear you down.
y'know, unless you let it.
981027
...
thenestor You know what's alone? Repetition is alone. At least, last time I checked it was alone. But it's not anymore. I just gave it a friend.

You see, if no pages on the site point to a certain other page, then that page is alone. It isn't linked from anywhere. The only way you'll see it is if it links to somnething else, and you follow the "from" link back to it.

Dammit, this is too confusing.
981121
...
paul j. why so glum, little alone. why the downcast visage? alas, i see, little alone. is it because people look upon you as something borne from the throes of depression or sadness...think not like that, little alone.

you've been cursed by connotation...but little alone, you have many virtues. there are a great many benefits to be had in you. the solace of quiet, of peace...when i am with you, alone, i have clarity of vision.

other than that, you can be a real bastard.
990206
...
demi monde wherever you go...there you are. 990301
...
velouria the way man is born, complete, and end in himself. 990302
...
dican i feel alone
if no one would help me
when i'm in times of troubles
990307
...
allie a good thing when you want to be, bad when you have to be 990502
...
sillyelly you thought i was what you wanted. you decided i was what you needed.
suddenly you changed your mind.
how could you be so cruel? i thought you cared. how could i be so wrong? you weren't there when i needed you most.
i have come to understand that without you i will become stronger. i will become the person i once was, before i was suffocated by you.
990505
...
daxle walking by the giant purple flower bushes I stopped mentally and realized after weeks and weeks of doing this that I was alone and decided I didn't care 990512
...
emsie alone by choice is the only good kind of alone. alone by default just sucks. when your best friend leaves you alone to be with her boyfriend REALLY sucks. it makes me so sad, in fact. 990620
...
Joana I am alone...
Help me.
990715
...
neil login is alone... that makes me sad, thats lonely too...

It shouldn't be alone, its a lovely word... I'll make it a friend, there its got a friend now, but now its friend is alone... thats even more sad
990812
...
Jim We are never REALLY alone, are we? 990813
...
pink is there anybody OUT THERE?!? 990828
...
megan me once
but not anymore
990905
...
quill zero waiting for one or minus one 990907
...
Felix I like beeing alone sometimes. It's time I can use for thinking about anything. 991018
...
Alexander Beetle Whoever stands alone, falls alone. 991120
...
Lyndsay A state I reside in all too often. But can't let anyone help me out of. 991212
...
spikey-ho is what everyone is when their false pretentions are stripped away from them... 991214
...
jennifer sitting in a small, quiet room, I hear the muted din of far off voices, calling me to places unknown 991220
...
jennifer the biggest fear I have is being alone when I'm old 000102
...
drella i love being alone. it is dangerous for me to be alone because i can hear all my thoughts. it is the time when i am happiest because i feel authentic- my thoughts aren't contaminated by others but it is also the time i feel the saddest-the most despondant because my thoughts aren't happy ones. 000110
...
flipper A million nameless faces...But I'm still alone if I'm not wih you 000119
...
amy aloneness deep truth
(three_words)
000122
...
girl yes, very. 000326
...
Charlotte_S I'm surrounded by people and yet alone
I feel empty, tired and nothing seems to be worth living for...
This is as deep loneliness can feel...
No one's there... to understand...
000505
...
jennifer 000507
...
Sexxy Jessy sheer exahaustion breaks through my mind
twirling in the colors of the bright
twist me and take all of me in
alone alone i stand
dancing tapping
to the music in my mind
trance striking through me
empailing me on the drugs ive taken
alone alone alone I dance
twisting twirling
to the music in my mind
000523
...
lisa_is_bionic I'm never alone.
I'm alone all the time.
000526
...
forlorad tired of knowing this is how it will be. 000625
...
psycho insomniac How often I've cried out
in silent toungue
to be saved
from myself
In the middle of the nght
too afaid to move
Horrified the answer
may be beyond the
capibility of my
own two hands, so small
(no one should feel this alone)
000829
...
gaudior there are times
i feel
like there's nobody
there to walk beside me
or listen
and heal my pain
or care for me
for who i am
and not just
as a means
to an end
an object
rather than a subject

but then
i think of those
who value me
as a person
as a being of worth
as a child of God
and although
i am by myself
i'm not alone anymore
000917
...
Joana. From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were ó I have not seen
As others saw ó I could not bring
My passions from a common spring ó
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow ó I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone ó
And all I lov'd ó I lov'd alone ó
Then ó in my childhood ó in the dawn
Of a most stormy life ó was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still ó
From the torrent, or the fountain ó
From the red cliff of the mountain ó
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold ó
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by ó
From the thunder, and the storm ó
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view ó

{Edgar Allan Poe - 1829}
000919
...
Jon That's how U, I, We all feel, Sometimes. But don't. I'm here, I'll allways be here 4 u. you are never alone if you let god into your life. He is with you, I, we. He is the light and the life of this world. You are not alone. 001005
...
SadProfessor Alone into the depths of nothingness
out of darkness I feel the pain
Standing alone in a crowd
shouting for you
but you do not hear my silent cries
I'm drowing in my sadness
I'm your tear, for my tears are for you
Good (People) walk on by
001108
...
SCOTT WHERE ARE THE WORDS? 001108
...
m i feel even with people surrounding me. they cant hear my thoughts. they dont know me. 001111
...
Syd Why do I feel this way? Why should I grab this Mourning, so deep deep inside of me, torturing me, tearing me apart, breaking my consciousness, trying to wake up every morning just without nothing to do, nothing else watching TV twelve hours a day, every kind of story that could erase my story, just for an hour, just for ten minutes, just to make me think that maybe there are other persons, out there, like me. Other people who could feel the way I do; other souls torn and burning of sadness like mine. Other persons, like me, who feel to be alone. In a consensual Loneliness. 001111
...
unique butterfly i'm scared.
i don't want to be alone again.
it's too hard.
i like spending time by myself.
that's different.
i don't want to be alone.
i that place.
it'll kill me if i'm not careful.
literally.
i hate this.
001115
...
if life is pain; bring on the pain shaking like a dog shitting razorblades, waking up next to nothing, after dreaming of you and me, i'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved. 001119
...
guitar_freak in a corner
surrounded by a life
Not existing in it
I am alone in my own rite
001119
...
Una My alone is the torture of being in long term relationship with someone I'm madly in love with who no longer feels the same way and all I get from him is indifference. 001217
...
ares sounds familiar. i think that's what i am right now. alone and lonely... 001227
...
rolynd Alone-arent we always alone? in.. and by ourselves. we think others.. or things fill this void.
But rarely do.
When all there is.. is to listen..
to myself, thoughts truly unveil their depths.
No distractions.... no noise... just me.

Time to pay attention...
010103
...
lizard you don't understand, little one. this is all there is: chasing ribbons, dodging bullets. 010116
...
deb i woke up this morning
(if you call 11:30 morning)
to the sound of
persistant knocking
on my front door-
at first i wanted to roll over
and ignore it,
bury my face in the pillow
and think about
how i hate being me
right now-
and then a picture flashed in my mind:
you, smiling, tired,
but here.
and i got up
and ran to the door
but it was only jenni-
and she was only here
for her rings she forgot-

i cried when i crawled back in
not caring that i worked at 12...
because there is a hole
eating its way out
of my belly,
creating such a gap
in my soul~
and it would only take
your smile
to fill it~
010116
...
Bell R here i live by myself.
in my mind.
010116
...
Bell R no way to live at all.
finding no meaning.
looking for a way out.
an end.
END!
010116
...
hoodrat alone is something that i have felt most of my life. always been a little bit different. haven't yet decided if it was the hearing loss that started things. my parents swear that when i was a child i didn't hear a word they said. was i not hearing, or not listening. i was always off in my dream world. i remember sitting in kindergarten during rest time and flying my imaginary plane through the sky. does hearing loss cause this? does a muted world cause someone to invent an alternate reality? anyways, the hearing loss isn't a problem now. people tend to grow out of things. unfortunately the feeling of being alone still lingers. the strange part is that i don't mind. sometimes it feels comforting. 010119
...
squirrel You're not alone hoodrat. Carry on.... 010119
...
Aimee Alone. That's the way it is. "Sorry I gotta go" "Sorry I gotta meet someone" but it all boils down to the fact that people are leaving, and not returning. So I sit here, alone. Looking at the navy blue background, wishing someone, anyone will talk to me, but knowing that I'll go to bed with the streetlight pouring into my room and falling asleep to the drone of a radio that gives no comfort, but I fall asleep with that empty feeling in my heart and the 6 blankets on my bed that give me the only warmth I ever feel. I have friends, but no matter what, I'm still alone. 010219
...
chanaka one of my favorite (and most common) states
sometimes it is good to be alone
sometimes one has to be alone
010219
...
aimee Alone.
I'm always alone.
Empty.
I'm missing that one piece to the puzzle.
I'm alone.
"I'm with you always"
I know you mean well,
but what about those moments.
You know the ones.
Where I'm sitting on my bed in the candlelight,
rocking back and forth with the tears pouring down my cheeks.
Hiding the knife within my pile of stuffed animals.
Where are you then?
When I need you to hold me and say it's gonna be fine.
When I need you to tell me that I'm really not alone.
You're not there.
And I'm alone.
Rocking.
Weeping.
The emptyness of my heart.
The air within my room filled with melodies
- broken with my sobs.
Each candle burns itself out,
I'm enshrouded in darkness.
Where are you?
I need you!!!!
Where are you?
I'm alone with my knife.
I need you.
I'm alone.
010223
...
fanta alone...
peace
serenity
safety
freedom
oh yeah
freedom
I like that
I remember
what else?
pain
fear
makes me want
to be alone

when Iím honest
with myself
I want to connect
with someone
please
God please
I feel my body tense
tears flow down my face
my eyes scrunch
in pain
God

who are you?
Iím alone
am I alone

oh right
the pain

so it hurts
to be alone
I feel
empty
hollow
dead
numb

like a leech determined not to stick to anyone
leeches need to stick
donít they?
I feel like a leech
I donít want to be a leech
I want to be an independent woman
to fly free

what do I do
with my pain?
who
on earth
wants to hear it?
feel it?
know it?
oh how I want someone to know it
not to feel sorry for me
I canít handle that
but to just
like me
to want to know me
because they think Iím interesting
fun
loving

I used to be
now I feel dead
canít love
anyone
not sure I can even
love myself
Iím not doing so well
at taking care
of myself

so if all of my energy
is going to myself
and none is coming in
how do I
give any away?
I need it all
every last bit

whoíll want to get to know me?
I feel like I canít
subject anyone to me
and my pain
itís a bit much
donít you think?

maybe I can just be a good fake
for the first while
yeah right
I do that so well
too transparent
how many people
see my pain
sense my vulnerability
I hope
Iím hiding it better than
I think
please tell me I am

why am I always
so unsure
of myself?
feel like I canít do anything
as well as others
unless they are idiots
fear
controls my life
I hate that
must get rid of it
but how
need some help

My soul feels empty
I want someone to care
to want to get to know me
please
PLEASE
why donít they?
I remember thinking
Iím so closed
and probably cold
to others
thereís no bait
why would they bite
people donít have
x-ray vision
wish
oh how I wish
they did
no I donít
theyíd see too much
they see too much now
alone
010224
...
firehunden same here.....well said 010225
...
w/o time I am so alone ... lost ... and desperate, for what I don't know?? I love being alone, but I hate it too. I have fears and scary dreams of losing people I don't have ... I need people, but I don't ... I like, but often times hate, I am so different and anxiety kills me most of the time. I don't need help, I just need to be alone ... 010228
...
yogijinn reading these makes makes me feel less alone and isolated. 010228
...
florescent light me, tonight, and I don't like it 010228
...
sarah alone is a beautiful place
to be. its a place where no
one can take you away from,
its an untouchable place. saving you from the pain the world so unselfishly gives.
010301
...
Clara Desperation
Complete despair
Need someone to turn to
But no-one is there
Fearful and lonely
my refuge is bed
Sleep will calm me
I lay down my head
I've troubled no-one . . .
not picked up the phone
Though temptation is strong
I will manage alone
I will, I can
I'm learning the rules
Dependancy on others
- a game for fools
I can't be a burden
keep myself to myself
Though anxiety and worry
will ruin my health
At the end of the day
We're all on our own
We live and we struggle
Completely alone
010301
...
stopthebullshit Make up your own rules, gluttonous maws. There are too many people in the world not to make such a complaint as "loneliness" abhorrently narcissistic.

For shame.
010301
...
sleepless A familiar feeling engulfs me.
I'm chasing spirits again . . .

The spirit of love, it eludes me,
A hopeless cause fading away.
The spirit of family dying,
We talk but have no words to say.
My history losing its bearings,
No more than three years to my past.
I'm dreading the final desertion,
When there's no one for me to hold fast.

The spirit communicates madly,
Needing only a voice on the phone.
The spirit is walking alone now,
And looking for somewhere called home.
The silence preys heavy upon me,
Whispers that hurt and confuse.
I was there when it finally mattered,
But for you I am yesterday's news.

The spirit of solitude leaving,
Sensing his work here is through.
The spirit is losing the battle,
Seeing life with a fatalist view.
I reach out and talk in the ether,
Try to find all the right words to say.
The silence is louder than ever,
Press delete and switch off, turn away.

I throw myself into the tumult,
An attempt to forget and erase.
In the hope that occasional moments
Will light all the inbetween days.
Can I do this forever? I wonder.
Can I find how to cope on my own?
The weeks and the months they continue
And the spirits still find me alone.

A familiar feeling engulfs me.
I'm chasing spirits again . . .
010302
...
Dark Rifter X Strange how it doesnít matter how many people there are, alone just means that the one person who counts isnít there, or that you havenít fount them. But being alone isnít as bad if you havenít found them. Alone hurts worst when youíve know love. When they leave or stop loving you, when they find somebody else or just use you as a door mat before discarding you. I think I could have continued on in my old day by day meaningless existence if I had never met her. But now itís torture knowing sheís out there, and she doesnít love me any more for some unknown reason. Knowing we arenít getting married any more. She doesnít even want to see me or talk to me. I need to know what happened. Why I wake up one morning and everything is over. I need to see her, to hear her voice, to feel her touch. Always knowing sheís right there without being able to do anything is too much to bear! Iím alone, and sheís just so close. 010305
...
scott isaak hmmmm 010306
...
mikey If you were to knock
On hells doors
The smell youd get
Upon opening them
Would be best described

alone

If a wind could stop
Abruptly even for
One instant
It would then become

Alone

If a tree or flower
Grew in a field
With no flowers or
Leaves upon itself
It would be

Alone

If you saw me now
Writing this piece
You would guess
That most likely
I to

Am alone.
010306
...
mikey i disagree. "better to have loved then never been loved at all". if you have been part of something i think its ignorant to say then losing is worse then never having. really you can compare the 2. the first 26 yrs of my life i never had any relationships. and i can say from my experiance that loneliness was far worse then anything ive felt since. 010306
...
mikey i meant to say CANT compare the 2. 010306
...
unhinged we are all alone most of us. and we sit here and talk about how alone we are and read about how alone everyone else is. if we are all alone together are we really all alone? this place is great. where have you been jacob? i miss hearing from you even though i know you are busy. everyone is busy separately and that is what makes us all alone. 010306
...
mikey sad as it is sometimes i wonder if i simply enjoy being alone. 010306
...
mikey Joana ::hugs:: 010306
...
mikey a poem i wrote not to long ago i love reading it now its one of my favorites. hope you enjoy it to.

Broken glass falls
Upon the feet
Of those who walk alone

A rose pedal falls
Into the chaos
That which is my home

It creeps and stalks
Onto the docks
The mind begins to groan

Have you wisdom
Unreachable shadow
To soften this path of woe

Whats worse then the riddle
Is being in the middle
The answer will never be known
010306
...
Sarika darkness crept upon my soul
early this morning. I never sleep
i sit there and cry alone. people say that if it weren't for lonliness no one would be sad. but in all truth (to me anyway)alone is where a person can truly know themselves and see who they really are. alone can be frightening, only though, when you don not know what you're capable of. alone is beautiful.
010307
...
mikey makes me think of serenity. 010307
...
rlzp I never felt this way... more than I do right now. 010331
...
abms i hte being alone. when im alone im scared. i dont know what is going to happen next i dont know how to act when im with my friends i can forget about the things that haunt me. 010331
...
carden what does it mean to be alone? are we truly ever alone? my thoughts run through my head keeping me company. my television and i spend many nights keeping each other from being alone. does anyone care that i am friends with my television and computer while others are having normal relationships...with people. i guess i'm alone, no one understands who i am and what i can be. people won't take the time to get to know who i really am. 010402
...
snow_angel empty- all inside, so many things I'm trying to hide no one cares or even should if I had someone hear,maybe then you would...see me for who i am, and take the time to understand- that i'm so unlike you, not strong, but instead abused.still i need you close to me and as i go on it is hard to see- us together and safe... and not so alone. all along this was clear-somehow i should have known 010430
...
me no suprise
to see so many
strings
of words
strung under
such one word
as this
010430
...
amy i can't actually get a handle on this, anyway. oh, yeah the "ways"- that was like my first blather epiphany. i think it might be only superficially true, at any rate. 010513
...
sweet pea everyone says they are there for me,
but do they really know what they are getting themselves into?
im lost in a world, all alone, scared, and helpless...
no one understands what i've seen, what i've heard, what i've felt, what i know...
yet some still stand strong, willing to help.
many do try to keep their word, other's soon forget about it.
they dont seem to know what its like to want someone to want them.
being here alone.. lost in my life.. waiting for someone....
010513
...
Pink Paint what can anyone reply to you lovely,
it dosn't sound as if you trust anyone,
and because of that there is not much I can say apart from you're not alone,
and if you are then we all are,
love is coming your way if you believe it.
010516
...
SaxyWeed me 010516
...
NinNy Nu Nu Who,
oh you,
Hah what,
me you who,
what where,
when,
how,
Oh but Oh.
010522
...
Dafremen That was beautiful NinNy Nu Nu.

Why can't more folx blather like that?

Something a little less depressing and self indulgent.
010522
...
BrittStar i remember her, i smile...i think of her, i laugh...she was my friend, the one i depended on...she was so full of life, so alive...she had so much going for her, so much hope...she was happy, always herself...people loved her, they were her audience...she had a future, there was success in her horizon...but she left before she could see her talent...she was left with nothing to see but despair...all she saw was misery...all she saw was disaster...the only sound that came from her lips were sobs of pain and anguish...all she has left now is sorrow...and all i see is that i'm alone...she left without saying goodbye...gone before she realized her potential...she fled the scene before anymore damage could be done...and i miss her. 010522
...
skooner your nice, everyone must love you. 010522
...
nobody he's not my Daddy,
he's my pony.
010523
...
cali j An Owner of a lonely heart is much better than an owner of a broken one. 010524
...
marissa faery dance in the cold moonlight, hide in the forest sea alone. 010603
...
marissa now shes feeling more alone, then she ever has before.. 010603
...
forever i feel alone all the time, i need someone to love me and hold me in their arms, some one to call me their own. I just feel alone i have never felt loved by a guy. and that is the worst feeling of them all 010603
...
kingsuperspecial I think the problem I have with being alone is that it seems like such a tragic waste. All of the good things in me are best enjoyed with someone who is in on the joke, and has taken the time to get down to what I'm all about.

Maybe I'll stop hacking people up and burying them in the back yard. heh heh
010611
...
black-dyed gel product I alone am wasting YOUR time by having you read this. 010612
...
nemo i am alone even when i'm surrounded by all of my friends, i am alone when i am surrounded by a million people, i am alone when i am around everyone i love, i always feel alone no matter what... but the real problems occur when i finally become truely alone. there might be a problem in this. 010614
...
Casey I am trapped in a world where I am alone. I once thought I had friends, but they are gone. I once thought I had a family, but I never did. I once thought I had a home, that is still standing, but I am no longer welcome here.

I once thought I was normal, nope. I once thought I was wanted, that was a lie. I once thought some people liked me, that was just an illusion. I once thought this world was a good one, shows you how nieve I once was eh.
010614
...
yummychuckle i like your blathers, casey. I guess I can't know you well enough to say anything else but I'd like to.

alone is something i will be shortly. I'm trying to decide whether I want to be or not. I don't. I don't like being alone, its my worst fear...but maybe it would be better that way.
and maybe I'd be happier that way.
010624
...
lost I want to be alone, I hate the masses, I hate people, People suck. That's my motto and I get more and more proof to back it every day. It it undisputable now, "People suck". A person is alright, get a single person alone and their intelligent and logical. But when your with 2 or more then your in hell. Always discriminating, Always making guilt trips to get people to do what they want, Always trying to make jokes, Always talking, Always hiding in their fog bound worlds that they can't and even won't escape for fear of seeing the world as it is and having to deal with it. Having to deal with a person like me. I Hate the masses, The amusement parks, The commercialized industry feading off people by giving them happiness at the expense of their fears and their money. Who need be frightened when your immensed in the pointless and frival pursuit of fame and beauty. Always judging, Always working, Always dying, Always, Always, Always... Never Ceasing. I Hate being around people, I turn my head in disgust everytime I see a perky teenager in her skirt and sports car. I look at her and see the thing I hate, The mask. Everyone has a Mask. Whenever your're surrounded by people you put on a mask that blinds you from everything but what do u care? you're happy, your making witty and sarcastic jokes, you couldn't care less. If it doesn't affect your standard of living then what the hell do u care? But even I can't figure out a way around it, all the money the power and what not. We won't simple give it away, won't make everyone equal, that would be communism. I can't figure out a way to have the cake and eat it too... There's just no way. So I'm stuck looking down at the bodies and looking up at the rich cursing the bodies for not giving enough. "We must let everyone enjoy the same comforts and not the privilaged few!" "We must keep everyone happy!" "You need to work harder to help out those less fortunate!" "You must work for someone elses benefit!" "You must be their slave until their happy!" "You Must Give More!" "MORE!" "DONT BE SO GREEDY! YOU MUST WORK FOR COMMON WELFARE AND NOT ONLY YOUR OWN! "YOU MUST SLAVE AWAY FOR ME! YOU OWE IT TO ME BECAUSE I AM A PERSON TOO!"..... That is the correlation in it all = Guilt. People Suck... maybe even a single person's, I don't know yet... sorry if I got carried away, this thing's probably too long for anyone to bother reading... Probably wouldn't even understand it, I use "probably" alot.. it means probability which is a mathametical term and math is logic, Always see people discussing television shows but Never the mysteries of the universe. Maybe if everyone shutup about Ally Mcbeal and pondered the meaning of life then we might know what it is by now.. Maybe... but not very probable. -Lost 010625
...
lost I don't care anymore, too tired. spent all my energy writing the piece of shit above this piece of shit, here I am typing away, yup. Almost as if I was talking to myself. I talk to myself often, because I'm the only one who understands me.

No one else cares either, I dont blame them, couldn't care less... there's a loop forya though you might have to read it a few times to get it. Finding loops is great but once you find one and know it's there it pisses you off just that much more, just one more mosquito peckin away at you.

It's all the little stresses! - Lost
010625
...
lost I quit. - Lost 010712
...
dB Hey, Lost, take note "An individual is a smart, intelligent human being. But PEOPLE are stupid"

You sound like me last week, and what I'll sound like next week. Welcome to the fold. Our motto: "I don't have low self-esteem, just low esteem for other people". Remember it well.
010712
...
shade is a good 010713
...
abc solitude is yummy 010821
...
black-dyed gel product one by one, the guys in my band leave this week 010822
...
Photophobe Sorry, man. I think they all have been joining mine... I've been gaining a musician every couple of days, just when I was giving up 010823
...
Wicket today is one of these days, which just pass so...unreal. I feel alone, I feel like nit being really here, you know, I am here, but not here.
I'm watching myself from above, I feel empty, I feel like falling, and I don't know why... .
And why the heck does this day is passing so completely...unreal...?
010901
...
josh i feel alone these days...after the light of teenage years have burned out, past friends have moved out and move on, changing for the masses. and here i am, me, still the same kid, from 15 to 21, and i'm still here, still me. sure, i might be a little different now, i know i am. but why did everyone else has have to turn full-circle...i'll never know.

and while i might be alone, i always have me. and i know me. so it's not so bad, after all.
010930
...
twitch is what i feel when i don't hear from you
for days
and when i hear my sister say it is just something inside herself that she has to deal with
and i understand
and when the only thing that can help me is your arms but they are a hundred miles a way and you don't even know how much I am needing you at this moment
and how i feel even when i am surounded by people
because i don't understand what is so funny
011009
...
distorted tendencies I called and you were asleep. I feel extremely sad and alone right now, when i need you most. 011009
...
Geek When you realize that you are connected to no one. 011118
...
whoknows home is where my family and my friends are. this isnt home. here i have no one. here i am alone. here i have no family, no friends, no social life. its just school. i know people but no one i can turn to. im lonely. depressed. with no one to talk to. no shoulder to cry on. no one to just sit with me or give me a hug or tell that theres nothing wrong with me and that everything isnt my fault. i want to go home. 011118
...
ClairE I am here!!!
--
and desperate.
in the computer lab.

ack, I'm surrounded by iMacs! Don't eat me!
011130
...
ClairE It's nice to fart as loud as you can and know only you can hear it. 011219
...
Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge all
LOaloneVE
with
you
011219
...
Mahayana: Zakah: right now
i dont have anyone
no family
no friends [she made me choose between them or her 6 yrs ago]
i have no-one

what are you supposed to do when the only one you have is the one hurting you

i have no-one
but myself
[and that is no consolation]
[[that only makes matters worse]]
[sighs]
020103
...
mememe alone. only with the pains of a migrane headache. 020111
...
kelli crane again...naturally

just because I'm not alone
doesn't mean I'm not lonely.

I sit here on the stairs
'cause I'd rather be alone.
020112
...
kelli crane lost........don't give up 020112
...
calypso calling Where is everyone when you desperately need someone to listen, someone to wipe my tears, someone to give me answers, someone...anyone... 020113
...
starchild arent we all alone in our little spaces
we are lost in our own minds
contemplating the silence
tasting the serene noise of nothing

there is peace
and yet we are crying from our loneliness
crying because of the sole fact that we are left only with ourselves

there are how many billion people in the world now?
and yet here we are one night...completely and utterly alone
020120
...
blown cherry I'm never alone with me to keep me company.
I don't even need a guitar.
020304
...
Mahayana i want to go home & cry my eyes out
[but i dont have a home]
020304
...
d-O_O-ver In the end, we all are, have always
been and will always be, as long as we
are.
(til syvende og sist)
020306
...
reitoei no one. you. and now you're gone. and there is no one left. no one loves me. im all alone in this forsaken exsitence. no one ever did. they pretend to me like me and then they mock me behind my back. no one cares. i am so utterly alone in my depression and despair. there is no one. nothing. just me and a sea of sadness and death 020320
...
blown cherry at least when you are blathering there are lots of people to be alone with.
Please don't feel so alone reitoei, it made me so sad to read that.
020320
...
blown cherry I said before that I'm never alone with me to keep me company.
Well I almost lost me tonight, in the darkness I almost drowned.
But my best_friend came to the rescue.
At least when I didn't have me I had him.
Now I have both me and him.
020325
...
continuous ache i sat in my room alone and cried last night. and while there are things in my life that have me on my knees in despair, not one of them was the cause.

i cried for nothing because i have nothing, and i am nothing, and when i am gone....it will mean nothing to anyone.
020325
...
Arwyn For the first time I feel alone. He's completely relieved... and I'm borderline devastated. I won't let him see it though... I saw that smile on his face. I saw the raise in his shoulders.... He was happy... I wasn't. 020325
...
Casey I should just change my name to this. Hello, my name is Alone Michael Huff 020331
...
rollins I guess you could say I am a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowed room with boring people than I feel on my own. I need to do things on my own, need to be left alone 020403
...
blown cherry know EXACTLY what you mean bobby

I try to avoid all such situations whenever possible, but then I get accused of dissappearing in silence in order to attract attention of said boring ppl, only to drive home my original point in dissappearing altogether.
020404
...
sirflaccid LEAVE ME ALONE!!! 020505
...
Comfortpunk Alone is not being able to talk to the one you love. Alone is the inability to realize that there are others. Alone is pre-symptom of depression. I used to be alone. Now I'm alive, amazing how similar those two words are. amazing. 020515
...
jane i want to fold myself in half
half a trillion times

and put myself in a box
inside a box, inside a box

and sleep while the whole world
outside collapses on itself

until there are no more rooms left

wait
i take it back that's way too depressing
020612
...
Kat We fear loneliness because we are forced to see who we really are ... something that we don't have time to do in the company of others. 020619
...
little fury bug
...is the state i am currently in and have been in the past however many years i've been living...i'm past the point of just tolerating it...now i take comfort in it.
020619
...
Mahayana being myself
by myself

[making no demands on myself]
020619
...
blaber mouth alone is the lonlyest number for me the one that makes me feel special one that makes me feel alive like im still alive still here for life! 020709
...
Human Behavior Every sin made is made from fear of being alone. 020709
...
Aimee "I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
are you at one or do you lie."

I never really understood this until now. I'm never alone... he's always with me spiritually and emotionally. I'm alone all the time though. He's never here. I can't just hug him and kiss him and make everything better. I can't make the world better. I just see things as dim.. depressing ... not worth the effort...
020813
...
Perspective_Of_Soul I feel i am stumbling, trying to walk down the cold cobblestones of life.
The air chills my breath, fogging up for a moment before i walk through it looking into the dark horizon curving in the distance.Sometimes i come across a streetlight, shining down, reflecting the iced over street, allowing myself to be seen by it.Sometimes they are dull, sometimes they flicker but always do i notice something new about them, for they are always different.
But as quickly as they appear, they are gone once more with nothing but the memory i have of them shining in my minds eye.How long shall i remain being perepatatic? How far do my aching legs have to walk before i reach the ultimate dead end ? Who knows what shall come my way in the darkness i travel in.All i know is, that nobody can join me on this street of certainty.
And who would want to?
020815
...
*nat* Im all alone,
Theres no-one here beside me,
My problems hav all gone,
Theres no-one to dddeeeeeriiiiiiiivvvee
mmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
BUTCHA GOTA HAVE FRIENDS!!!
Anyone that doesnt thinks Shrek kicks ass needs to kick ass themselves, preferable their own
020822
...
HL with God i am never alone 020903
...
werewolf how you left me, how i left you, and it doesn't really matter who's fault it was. and you could be next door, or you could be across an ocean, it's not that kind of distance, that'd be too easy. and there's this longing in my heart that says, make me believe, make me believe it's someone's fault, make me believe it's the ocean. and it's all either or when you're alone, there's no one to stop your tyranny. there's no one to lend a hand to your doubt. 020903
...
Liz I feel alone today... my thoughts are going ways I never thought they could... you came into my life... and now you're leaving... you're not allowed to... I say... can you hear me...? 020924
...
Freak alone, lost and leftwith only my unfaithful hopes and wishes. 021029
...
Syrope lately, when there are people around, i want to be alone. i feel like im a full time babysitter. i dont room with ellie...i room with half of sullivan, a drifter from peace college, and a few escaped zoo animals. my stuff is treated like shit, i'm treated like i don't have rights...like i don't pay for half the room.
last night it was just me and you. last night i didnt want you to leave...i wanted to whimper "i don't want to be alone" for the first time since i got here. but i had irritated you already because i didn't know what was wrong, so i fought back tears until the door closed. i wanted to be alone, but alone with you.
021030
...
scuzz You find a word. Alone. You ponder the meaning, rip it apart over and over, tearing it up for everything it does to you. Alone. You feel as if no one can ever really seep into your soul. I want to. Everyone, even Lost up there, while trying so redundantly to prove his point, wants nothing more than to find someone and breathe in them, to rest in their presence and be happy, not just content. Anyone can be content, and I now know (thank God) that that doesn't work. I want to know that we can lean on each other, relate or simply empathize, because that would give me my rest. Alone. After tearing the word, trying to tear faster than it can repair and retaliate, you express inevidable frustration. I get frustrated. I want to go beyond words with you. I found that (for me) music is the only thing that can possibly describe emotion and pain. Patience in trusting that you simply UNDERSTAND me hurts because I don't know how long I can do it. Alone. Over and over. 021206
...
morphine. in
a
place
that
doesnt
move
021211
...
unchanged I fell alone right now, more than i have in a long time. This has made me realize that the feeling of not being alone can only come from people who are close to you and know what you are thinking and feeling. When a situation presents itself and you can look at these people in their eyes, and they look into yours, a moment of clarity occurs where you both know what the other is going through. This feeling that takes place at this time will let you know you are not alone. How much you are willing to spread yourself out to others determines your loneliness. At this time in my life i prefer not to confide in others, to save myself any agony that might result from the relationship, whatever type it may be. So i am not taking the feeling of "being alone" for granted and i am savoring it. The reason i choose not to confide in others is my feelings and beliefs are old fashoined and from what i have seen, not many people can truely relate to me, so i alone will be a good friend of mine for some time. 021214
...
arienette I only want to say the things that would change your mind. I want to tell you that I love you. I want to let you know that that feeling was real. Now you have her and I suppose you are happyÖ to happy to remember how you left me. Alone.
"...I hang like a star fucking glow in the dark for all those starving eyes to see..."
*Bright Eyes*

Im glad the two of you are happy. But I can only hope that you donít stay that way. I hate you for the feelings you left me.
-you knoww who you are-
^ fuck you
021223
...
Am not alone These things you said these word's are filled with such sorrow being alone can be a wonderful thing but there are people out there just look for them and you wont be alone anymore. 030410
...
Skyelancer
damn it

get me some food

im all alone

"you got your computer"

fuck the computer

"lol"

its not funny!

i only get out what i put in
030411
...
pepperdrinks i discovered a long time ago that i am alone, and i've made my peace with that. 030417
...
god i had to take out a loan to be able to afford to go to the mall 030417
...
pepperdrinks no god i pray to would have such a fondness for mall references. 030417
...
Ambience Alone I sit, once again. One single stray emotion, on this lonely night, opens the flood gates as this tital wave of pleading tears flow from these orbs. Inevitable silence rings off these solitary walls. The gentle whisper of tears hitting the floor beneath me is the only sound, except for the ringing of your voice in my head which is my only comfort, and my biggest fear... 030607
...
lo i am so tired of this alone thing. what the hell happened to my social life? damn bored on a saturday night.. 030607
...
ShilohLives for some reason i have been feeling alone..Like wishing I had someone there...I know it's not to be for a while, but still...God Hurry up and break my solitude!! I suppose It's just me being silly and emotional and stupid..but still... aren't I allowed someone? I know he is there... I just hope I don't have to wait as long as I think I do for "him" to show up... and if I do have to wait that long, it had better be worth it. Because I'm not gonna be alone forever ya know... 030630
...
carlita i don't think i'm capable of being alone, or without a significant_other. i was with my ex for 6 years, starting my junior year of high school. when we broke up, i was (kind of) with my boyfriend now within 3 months. 3 months isn't a very long time to "get over" a 6 year relationship, but i guess i was over the relationship years before. i let my boyfriend treat me like shit for a long time and always went back... not calling, cheating, just being plain old mean to me. all it took was for me to put my foot down once and threaten leaving for good for him to clean up his act. now we're good, but i'm afraid to get mad at him, even when i should, because i don't want to be alone.

being in a *bad* relationship is better than not being in one at all, right??
030701
...
advice column sometimes you need some time to yourself 030701
...
Fire&Roses I never felt alone until I met you... I was allright on my own and then i met you...
And for the first time in my life I am really truly alone... there is no one who cares where i am or what i am doing, no one who cares enough to say that it will be allright
And for the first time in my life I don't want to be alone
030713
...
carlita ok, so maybe it's not being_alone that i'm afraid of, but being without_you scares me to death. we've been through a lot, but it has only brought us closer. i truly believe that this could be it. 030714
...
xXShadow_GoddessXx Alone...the feeling I know so well. But when I'm next to you the feeling of lonelyness vanishes into the abyss.
Then there are other times where I go to be alone, but without you being alone doesn't seem worth it.
I think it's this new emotion burning inside of me, growing like a burning candle.
I don't want to be alone...if it means I can't be alone without you...
The new emotion I have, it is all for you...
why I can't be alone in the shadows any longer, why I crave to be next to you on the "blade's edge"...I love you...
030726
...
Laura I feel alone when you are not here for me to talk to. I feel nervous and sad. My heart pounds, breaking. Until I see you. Then I'm ok ... for now. 030805
...
the Hermit alone is short for
all one.

life on the hill
looking
watching
seeing
we are all the same
we are all alone in here
we are all alone in our selves
we are the same
we are all one
we are all together in our aloness
we are all different in our sameness.
030805
...
jimbob i was alone when i was with her, i am still alone now without her ... why does it hurt so bad now?? 030822
...
Lisa sometimes, just like now, I fear this feeling won't ever go away, and I fear that it's me who is... wrong... causing that feeling herself...

I'm alone... I should get along with it... or I'll never let go of people I have right now... I'll hold them so close until I'll suffocate them... and then I'm alone...
030909
...
miz0re once you grow a tolerance for being alone and then find a best friend. it's so hard not to fall for them. especially when no one else will listen to you and cares about you and .. god. i love that you stay online until 3 in the morning with me because you know that i hate being alone. just stop it. please. you're torturing me. 031005
...
tonightiscream i want to be alone now- can you feel it?
i'm tired of these games now- understand?
though lonliness was my greatest fear, I've come to long for it, and embrace it's welcome- you don't know me anymore- can you feel it?
031109
...
mysticspiral you use to talk to me each night no matter what time I called. We were always there for eachother- you were always there for me. You know I hate the nighttime, and fear eternal darknes. So why now do you just tell me to try and sleep, "go back to bed" you say, as if you didn't know me better, as if you didn't know I'd just do this instead. Why aren't you there for me tonight, when I need you most, like every night? Why is tonight different from the rest? Is it because she's sleeping on your couch and you do not wish to wake her? Or is it because she is blissfully sleeping on your couch and not panicing from the darkness? She's easier I know, she's happier I know, but without you I'm alone- don't leave me alone in the dark, you know me better then that. Be her lover, just don't stop being my best friend. 031109
...
Glory Box who follows me through her? who leads me on, alone, alone? 031111
...
Lisa right now... so horribly.... it carries a beauty within, just like a razorblade can fascinate... but it's not where I want to be.. it's so cold in there.. 031112
...
thespacebetween i have always been alone
and now as i sit here with a blank placid smile
i know it will never change
i might as well sit and stare at this screen forever
nothing will ever change
things cant possibly get worse
031125
...
me I am, right now... terribly... and the coldness takes over me, and I never wanted to be alone... and I miss you... how can I trust you? I doubt it all... I'm all alone... 031213
...
meowwww ...to this nature, so unatural, I remain alone 040106
...
girl_jane see: alone_vs_together 040107
...
blythemeteor i was alone before i met you
and here i am alone again
living my fake life
you made me real
now i am make-believe once more
lonely lonesome lifeless
the doll with the vacant stare,
sitting high on the toy store shelf
collecting dust
040116
...
her royal highness the quirk i have never felt so alone 040119
...
Taunt I know when I am in the celebration, I want to cry... and when I am along - I am smiling. I can not to be with anyone who live in the nosy world.. with double-fased people.
I drink cold tea
I fill sorry
I fill happy
I have frends
BUT. What is the mater of having if everyone along?
May be.. in the eyes of your friends with morning sun.
040304
...
DaughteroftheMoon ...so in the end
i'll be what i will be.
no loyal friend,
was ever there for me.
dont say
goodbye
dont say
i didnt try
these tears you cry,
have come too late.
for all the lies you told,
the hurt
the blame
and you will weep,
to be so alone
you are lost
you can never
go home.
040314
...
freedom is anyone ever not alone
is there ever that person that knows what you are talking about? exactly what you are thinking.. and why... someone, besides you who doesn't misunderstand.. doesn't criticize, only loves and listens.. , alone, isolated, I speak the same language yet it's all foreign to me..
040321
...
daughterofthemoon thats true,
you can sympathize with some people because you may have been through the same thing,
but you dont know exactally how they feel,
you are not them
040322
...
Dark Operations Are Returning forever 040323
...
Syrope i feel alone sometimes, but i never really am. if i get close to being alone, then i go ahead and leap into being eerily-detached alone. i don't want to be alone with myself. but if i can block myself out, too, then its ok. not fun, but ok...

to me, you are truly alone
and it intimidates me

today an article i was reading tried to convince me with venn diagrams that relationships allowed overlapped experiences and feelings...and the biggest overlap is with my "primary caregiver"...the picture stopped me in my tracks. i guess i'm existing solely in the cresent shaped outer edge, because i'm pushing so hard to refuse my "primary caregivers" any access into who i am. no wonder i'm fucked up. and perhaps thats why i'm so afraid to be alone...if i'm not alone then i'm sharing another diagram with someone else and living in their space. i'm safe there. i hate the idea of being a leech though...and being shut out is so devastating...
040323
...
minnesota_chris why do you have a primary caregiver? Are you young, or feeble minded? 040323
...
Syrope i think they mean parents 040323
...
minnesota_chris they should be nice parents 040324
...
Syrope i never knew they weren't until i was too old to fix the damage 040324
...
daughterofthemoon Nobody loves me,
Nobody cares,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at my jokes.
Nobody helps me when i get in a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody cries,
Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy.
So if you ask me whose my best friend, in a wiz,
ill stand up and tell you that Nobody is.
But yesterday night I got quite a scare,
I woke up and Nobody just wasnt there.
I called out and reached out for Nobody's hand,
in the darkness where Nobody usually stands.
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But i found somebody in each place that i looked.
I searched till I'm tired, and now with the dawn,
Theres no doubt about it,
Nobody's gone!

Think this is by shel silverstien, but im not sure
040325
...
permanently alone The womb is behind
the world ahead
but there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow,
to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow,
cloud and shade,
the moon shall fade,
the moon shall fade.
---Billy Boyd
040325
...
just_me -- i feel less knowing someone somewhere is going to read what i put. 040327
...
you dont know catherine is alone in her misery 040331
...
lou_la_belle alone alone
yet again im alone
they slowly leave me
one by one
until no one is left
not even myself
040406
...
broken i always seem to be alone in this everyday dream 040414
...
her royal highness the quirk i'm here with my music and my memories



im so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice has chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
theres just too much that time cannot erase

i tried so hard to tell myself that youre gone
040425
...
ofsuch i don't want to die alone.

please be with me and hold my hand.
040430
...
love & hate im all alone in a sea of faces. 040430
...
momma Its when you have to or decide to walk home from rehersals with the night taunting you 040509
...
momma Its when you have to or decide to walk home from rehersals with the night taunting you 040509
...
minnesota_chris Unwatched, like a rake left out in the rain. 040510
...
EbilSporkMonkey I try sleeping at night but I can't. No matter what I do I just can't top feeling lonely and out of place. I'm in the sea of happy people who aren't lonely like I am. I try finding someone to love just to love. Someone to hold. Someone to be happy with. No matter what I do I'm still lonely , unhappy and feel as if I'm missing a huge piece of myself. It's so painful and saddening. 040510
...
pete i spend my days alone. my nights alone. my mornings alone. my afternoons are usually spent with people, today it will be with one of my bosses. but i will probaly wish to be alone by the end of it. i spend my hours alone. sitting there, where ever there happens to be, or walking. i listen to cbc radio one. i am always with that broadcaster. the story teller. the news reporter. the scientist. they make me not alone. i am with the characters in the novel, the scientist in the book, the poet in the anthology, the hidden pete in my mind, the one who i write my letters to, the one who i write my poems for. i am never alone. always by my self. 040511
...
mood ring sometimes i wish i'd been born alone.
with nobody around to hold me and love me.
maybe a machine that fed me and changed my diaper, but an utterly cold impersonal thing.
because i cant stand to lose anyone.
i would rather burn for an eternity, than have to feel the emptiness of a loved one leaving me.
i guess thats why i almost cried yesterday, not because of losing her, but because i knew,
deep down,
i had lost you.
i dont even know when it was. i thought that i still had you on the inside, even though on the outside you were with her. but now i realize youve been gone for much longer even than i feared. did i mistake love for just friends?

and i want to leave everybody right now. if i am alone, there's nothing that i can lose cept myself.
so i guess its ok that you're leaving now, cuz what if you had stayed with me? though hurts like hell to leave you, it'd hurt ten times more if you left forever.

because i know that death is the final hour, though it'd hurt so much less if heaven was real. i know that when you die, you won't go to paradise, where you will wait for me to join you. no, the only place that you go is to a hole in the dirt.

so leave me now, or i'll leave you.
cuz maybe alone
is the best place
to be.
040529
...
_alone & lost_ hello.........?

is....
is there anyone...there?

am i....all.....
...all....
.....alone....?????
040529
...
puredream the prick of a finger
dearest blood brimming
touching your skin
tainting

i like this blood
the taste


dripping with blood again now

alone

alon
alo

al

e.


I'm alone today, tomorrow, forever for you.


Alone for you, but not.


Would you like to be left alone?


I'm bleeding and you're bleeding and they're bleeding too.


give me more blood


fuck it


bloody lines
bloody lies



fuck it
040624
...
lady bug i envy those who have the privilage of being alone... 040626
...
love & hate I will be alone for eternity without you. It will carry on after i die, once i take that last final step. I will always be alone. Without my angel, without my true love, without my Katie, always alone, by myself with nothing. Nothing but memories which haunt me and scare me and slowly destroy me. I'm all alone, without the only one i love and who loved me. 040627
...
nonlucid sometimes sit at home, disconnected from blather in front of the window and watch the empty street on a bright sunny day - look at the phone, have nobody to call, they all have lives and better things to do, stare out the window and see nobody and cry out of sheer boredom, hating summer

sit for hours on the floor in a room with people ignoring me with better things to do just to be near people, realising how pathetic I am
040712
...
SA Don't worry just a few hours away I too am also sitting , staring, dreaming and lonely. 040712
...
SA desolation 040712
...
pete "i don't want to be alone right now" i murmured as i picked up the phone punching in her number on the pad. i had woken up disoriented afraid, unable to distinguish reality or even life itself. i needed a base. i listened to the phone ring. once, twice, thrice, four times, and the fifth was the characteristic double ring of an answering machine picking up. i heard the scottish woman's voice, sighed, and hung up. 040713
...
f it ok to be alone 040714
...
alone at last being alone is my refuge. i tire of the constant interaction between human beings. i force myself to stay awake just for the peace and quiet of the night. the sunrise can be so beatifull. 040718
...
oldephebe "A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion it kils,..we crushes the spirit" Proverbs 15:4

It's okay to answer the feelings of lonliness and or abandonement with something, a shout, with "No! That's not true! I am NOT lonely, I didn't mean to say that!" Before that tiny voice whining in the back of our minds turns into an exploding sigh. Or another marathon bout of depression.
...
040718
...
oldephebe "A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion it kils,..we crushes the spirit" Proverbs 15:4

It's okay to answer the feelings of lonliness and or abandonement with something, a shout, with "No! That's not true! I am NOT lonely, I didn't mean to say that!" Before that tiny voice whining in the back of our minds turns into an exploding sigh. Or another marathon bout of depression.
...
040718
...
uh..yeah "it crushes the spirit" 040718
...
sad_alone_and_unloved if life is pain and hurt and suffering, i'd rather be dead. But i am already dead without you. can we go back to the days when you still loved me? can someone tell me how to get things back to the way they used to be? how does a perfect love go wrong? can we go back to the days when our love was strong? all my life i work and i try to make other people happy without tryin g to make myself happy, now it's my turn, you don't deserve me. i deserve to be happy and as much as i love you, you don't make me happy anymore. I'm so tired, these wounds won't seem to heal and time can not erase the things i've been through

i'm done with it...



goodbye
040731
...
love & hate Alone is what i am,
as i sit by this computer by myself, longing for the days when it wasnt like this. My Aunty who i'm living with doesnt want me here anymore. She wants me to go back home. But where is home? When your own family doesnt even want you.
When your best friend is angry with you for not caring enough when i struggle for the will to wake up in the morning, the will to live.
When the one that you fell in love with ignores you. Doesnt answer your questions which you hope will give you closure between the two of you. When the love which you once had was so strong, so powerful, that i was flying. But when it rains it pours, and its been pouring for a whole year now.
Loosing the one's you love is the most devasting thing. Especially when it is all within one year. Your 18th year, the one which is meant to be the best. But alas, it has brought nothing but pain and despair.
When will this all stop so the sun can shine, even for a second, a heartbeat. There is no more light left in me. I have been drained from all this pain caused by the ones i love. The ones you love the most are the ones which scar you forever.
I picked up the knife again last night, i couldnt handle it all, i had no other way of escape. So i sat on the floor in my room and started slicing into my arm. I thought it had stopped, that will to hurt myself. But it has been brought back somehow. By those who i love. The ones i thought i could believe in to be there for me, whatever the cost.
In stead, they have stopped trying, stopped caring, stopped loving. I am not worth fighting for, not even by myself. The love i felt has turned into the pain which has suffocated me. I am dieing. Without what i once had, i am lost and completely alone.
Without family, without friends and without my one true love. I am utterly alone, left to destroy myself and the world which i think i exist in.
040801
...
. i hate BREAKING_UP 040803
...
daxle rarely 040803
...
rock on in the darkness shaking shivering crying hot and cold my body racked with silent sobs echoing in the complete darkness, wishing i could just scream and scream and scare all my demons away. breathing in pain, constant pain, pain i created. waiting in fear for the sun to come up. So i can start over again 040906
...
kookaburra when the record stops and you are left with your thoughts 040916
...
suicidalchinadoll with my thoughts
its not a bad thing

it does get tiresome though
040916
...
Orangedream you put yourself here. its clear that loneliness is despised, it is the youths greatest fear. But then again, who makes themselves this way, who puts themselves in these shoes? the ones who do are alone for a damn good reason. Not trying to be a jackass, but we are all catagorized accordingly, not willingly. 040919
...
Zero Emptiness is Loneliness
Loneliness is Cleanliness
Cleanliness is Godliness
and God is empty
Just like me...

Oh, how I know what it is to be alone.
040925
...
smurfus rex god damn, this post is long... 040925
...
Syrope i just never knew it was a song

that's all.

it doesn't MEAN anything.
040926
...
hsg all one.

if it's any consolation to your loneliness, the whole universe is in your head. if you're left only to your thoughts without distraction evermore all there is left is truth that we are happy only as one together.
041006
...
xoringmaster17ox sometimes i wish so hard at night
that my whole house will dissapear,
because what is the point of being lonely in a family of twelve.

Nothing.

Its a waste and a sham.
I'm a waste, and I'm a sham.
041017
...
lulu but we are always alone arent we...when are we not? 050123
...
Eraserhead Human connection is impossible. Every man is an island of his own thoughts and making, what people call connection and understanding is a widely held delusion. It's impossible to ever know anyone in the ocean of chaos we call the world. There is no stability. We are always alone. 050124
...
tr I could call my first baby, if it is a girl: Enola.
it's alone- just backwards.
050203
...
jesejmes Hoping I'm wrong, hoping shes right. I don't want to be alone again, I'm afraid. Please tell me its not what was said. I want you here with me, don't make me sit alone. I'd do anything, all I need is to know your here 050309
...
falling_alone i think these words will never leave.
the book with letters was lost,
chance to breath
until it's found and returned to me.
050310
...
*Amy* once you`ve been alone for a long time it`s really difficult to have a talk with someone again. I feel like I`m locked in a glass box and any word sounds very far and I have to make and effort to understand it 050315
...
solace loneliness is not cured by human company. loneliness is cured by contact with reality. 050315
...
tessa all too real
all too fuzzy
all too quiet
050410
...
doing nothing going nowhere una
dark rifler
i know the feeling
050410
...
Josh Hughes I will be alone, as much as I could not see this ending it has come. I have made my mistakes, and pushed those away I wish I had not. If I am to walk alone it's no ones fault but my own. If I could change the past, I would. But there's no time for what I could've done. Now the only thing I can do is the right thing, as much as I want to strive for what I want. I know where things could be, but more I see where they are going. I blame no one..But in one world, things were different...they were as I said they'd be. 050410
...
Jeff Here I am
Writing
Thinking about how pointless everything is.
I go to school,
one of millions.
To get a job,
one of billions.
I will do my job, retire, make friends lose friends, love and be loved if I am fortunate and........Die. What is the point. Nothing I do hasn't been done before. There is no originallity. Pointless bleek existence is our fate. When I die will I see the point?
050605
...
rage i get in the car to avoid being alone
the fear of lonliness, drives me
to the edge of the cliff
when im surrounded by the people
people that love me and care about me
i realise lonliness is internal, and no one can touch me
thats what makes me jump

jumping, letting it consume me, makes them leave me to my pain
leaving me alone
i think lonlieness scares away company
050619
...
selfi i dont want to go to bed
and i dont want to stay up late
'
i am fucked.
'
every night is lonelier than the one before. i want to call. 2am. anyone want to come out?
050809
...
boy i don't remeber life without her
5 years of laughter and crying
tears and giggles
and now......nothing
just the emptiness
a void filled only when i dream of her
051219
...
olileauk i am alone. I hate it. I want someone to care about. 051219
...
camille a person can sometimes be alone in a room full of people... 051220
...
u24 but not lonely.
almost alone.
one other person fills my life.
and she's all i need.
060203
...
edboy Lonely-ness is in the mind. Don't be
find contentment in yerself
060403
...
no reason i'm not sure if it's a sometimes or always or never situation. maybe it depends on external factors. maybe it's more personal than that.
i think that in some way, in whatever and whenever and however which way, it's inevitable.
060822
...
Mailbox You are not ever.
I am.
061002
...
anne3345 I sit here and watch the recently updated pages, to see if there's anyone else in the blue world. It makes me feel a little less alone if i know other people are out there, in the same place as me. 061214
...
*Amy* My tears, I cannot touch them, or taste them. They're inside, like knives stabbing my chest. I'm paused, frozen...I have no more thoughts, feelings or memories, not even yours, just a flod of tears where I'm drowning... 061214
...
t o d a y y e s t e r d a y t o d a y y e s t e r d a y 070618
...
Renee I turn around to tell you my thoughts only to find that I am alone in the room, it is like you were never here. What a shock it is to me, even though you have been gone for months. 081204
...
unhinged the party i cooked for on saturday night was filled with mostly people i didn't know and the combination of things i don't do much anymore and social awkwardness made me feel old; old and hermity. i would have much rather been at home watching buffy or angel on dvd. i still can't decide if that's good or bad. 090420
...
peyton what_i_am 101121
...
no reason my boss told me i have a habit when i get overwhelmed of not asking for help, and taking on everything by myself.

i'm not sure i do that so much at work (i'm never really overwhelmed there anymore) but in life i definitely do. whenever i try to reach out, i'm too needy for anyone to handle.
120630
...
no reason this is the most alone i've ever been. i'm in a city where i don't know many people, and i live and work alone. i've been sick for the past few days, and the extra alone time magnifies other things. i've wanted to talk to someone (anyone) today, just to have a voice-to-voice conversation, but people (even my own mom) are too busy. i get that, busy lives and all, but not being a part of anyone's busy lives is hard.

maybe it'll be different when i'm back home. but i wonder how i'll feel if it's not.
140924
...
nr i guess i need some aspect of my life to have some kind of social intimacy and comfort. 140924
...
unhinged and i guess thats ok
but
i still miss you sometimes
140924
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from