scuzz I need closure. I need to prune some dead branches. I need your acceptance. Closure will only come when I've accepted my mistakes and the pain drawn from those. Accepting is to give in to? Closure will not come for some of these branches. The bark is too hard. 021228
jane i
Reverend Lough i need to let go. it is time that i do so. time to move forward. i love you. 021228
werewolf closure's just holding your breath. 021229
jane holding breath takes time

time heals all things
misstree finally, i can exhale.

it is done.

all things proceed from here.
Nukemall fall flat on your face, then ask for codeine. closure will follow. 031010
misstree "i can't quit you babe,"
but i'm on a good run, and
there's no going back this time.
"but i got to put you down for a while"
because seeing you makes my hand reach
without my permission, makes my heart
stretch in ways it shouldn't, in ways
i thought it had forgotten, at least
for the moment. but you still do
strange things to my stomach,
and you really shook me babe,
so i'm afraid i'm keeping the
laptop, it has all my words,
and i'm afraid i won't
answer my phone,
and i won't see
who you are
once you're
unhinged you_can't_quit_me_baby


the sound of him hanging up the phone

'well that's absolutely fine with me'
unhinged damn



i need a vacation. bad. (people in ohio don't use adverbs. ever)
misstree last night was the last time you would have hosted the ska show. the one that you got by starting to co-host medieval chant in the same slot with my water brother. the one that i was so proud of you for, that taught me so much about an entire world i knew nothing about. the one where if there was more than one person there, anything could happen. i would spend sundays writing and playing freecell and listening to desmond dekker and the_toasters and skavoovie and the epitones and everything was alright, the weekend could shut its doors.

but it was someone else, someone who played a few compilations start to finish because they didn't know ska. they couldn't even pronounce half the bands they played. you will be back in chicago by now, and i don't know if i ever want to see you again. if patterns hold true, i will see you, sometime. if patterns hold true, you will always twist that little knife.

you're gone. stay away until i have bricked over the whole.
unhinged if i ever get it, it will be years from now 040630
emmi until we meet again 040630
love & hate Something she wont give me and i refuse to give myself. I love her, and i always will so i am frozen in time with that single feeling choking me... 040701
misstree over a year
and part of you is still stuck inside me.

i've moved on, i've screamed, i've ranted, i've forgiven, i've fucked, i've drank, i've sobered, and my heart has gained the thrill of a new Mate, stunning celebration,

and yet,
you're still in there.
i don't need you gone,
but i need that window closed.
flowerock. Maybe release is better. Open, relax, process, let go, flow on 160613
unhinged is a myth

things don't close
they just change into other things

she was telling me one night about how she had to go back home the following week because her dad was really sick, dying sick. she said something like 'i guess i will never get the closure from my dad i really want'

i said something like 'maybe you were never supposed to have closure with your dad'

when i looked up at her, her eyes were filled with tears. i got up and gave her a hug.
what's it to you?
who go