fat
* fat is all in your head. 000209
...
MollyGoLightly I've been on a diet since I was 13. That makes seven years. Isn't that hilarious? 000521
...
marian dubois people aren't all supposed to be the same shape.
being fat is as predetermined as race.
would you yell "nigger" at someone in the street?
why can you yell "fat ass bitch" then? because american capitalist society profits from self hatred. 45% of the country is considered fat. that's where the $2 billion diet industry comes from... the circulation of weight watchers magazine, 2nd in the country only to the new york times...
the doctor says, "lose weight. here's a diet. stop fooling yourself. how dare you attempt self esteem when you are a will-powerless fatso? you are disgusting. take my dangerous chemicals, my expensive and dangerous surgery, take my bogus and biased opinion on the health risks of 'obesity' and let them drive you to obsession with food, unhealthy self consciousness. and help fill my pockets by this treatment that has a 95% failure rate. my cancer patients' insurance will only pay for treatments that have up to a 50% failure rate... and your insurance won't pay for weightloss treatment... why? they consider it cosmetic, not a health risk.
AND THEY'RE RIGHT."
let us show you our cellophane models, with their svelte bodies. you are a body, not a human being with a right to a full, vibrant life of love and beauty. you must torture yourself to look like our models. you will only reach this standard with our body products that you must buy from us. you must be hairless- buy our depillatory that lasts only a few days and is ridiculously impermanent. you must be thin- buy our pills, buy our machines, buy our surgery in our beautiful, symmetrical, antiseptic hospitals that are white like cleanliness, like purity, like dead flesh. buy our self hatred, our fear, our torpor, our death...

you must have no will power. you are fat. nevermind that you have a 3.5, are drugfree, abstinent, and vegetarian. you are fat. it is a curse... go ahead, be an activist. see if we care. be a goth... the goth Muse is Thin. be a punk rock girl, the punk rock girl Muse is Thin. be a writer, be a musician, be anything... the perfect female image example will always be Thin. you will always be flawed in our eyes.
000528
...
MollyGoLightly I read this post and feel more than a little guilty. Like I've given up. 000528
...
ponit. fat cat. 000715
...
Fearful As long as I'm fat I'm safe. 000715
...
silentbob fat people are people too, they have enough on their minds that they dont need you judging them.
this was not meant for anyone on blather, except someone who hasnt blathered since the beginning of summer.
000907
...
moonshine Fat? skinny? short? tall? I ve seen beauty in all forms. The most beautiful and attractive trait in the world isn't long legs, well-toned body, smooth complexion. Its Confidence, showing that your at ease and whim with who you are. That you absolutely love yourself. Maybe thats why I tend to love people who dance. They assert that sort of careless confidence in there movements. 000907
...
squirrel I could not agree more, moonshine. It's the light from the inside not the verdict from the outside....

The Venus of Willendorf is fat, but I'd bet she had (has?) a wonderful laugh!
001112
...
Barrett I don't want to call them "fat." Fluffy people are some of the most "real" people you will ever meet. Most "beautiful" or "perfect" people have to hide behind some bullshit mask. Funny how that works. 001112
...
jennifer dreamer of malta,
"The dreamer is lying on her side on a low couch, one enormous right forearm underneath her head, the other draped across her heavy breast. She is ample-hipped and topless. Dressed in a full length, bell-shaped skirt she clearly appears to be asleep, almost visibly dreaming. The figures were probably part of a ceremony of dream incubation."
such a beautiful creation



it used to be that I would apologize for my size. that I would cry and demand to know why I was how I was. how I am. I would lock myself in my room for days so I wouldn't eat, in the efforts to shed a few pounds. I wouldn't allow myself to go out in public, or to parties I was invited to. I was miserable.

recently I read an article in a magazine my mother subscribes to. not an article, really, but something about dressing. the title of the page was "are you dressing your thinnest?" I was disgusted. people of size, fat people, have discovered the most joy in life. they refuse to let others determine their attitudes. they are truly happy.

it took me 19 long years to discover that I am happy with myself.

and I refuse to apologize for who I am
001112
...
silentbob for what reason should you apologize? 001112
...
Dafremen ..I'm fat now. Three months of beer and unemployment can do that to you if you're not careful. It's my OWN fault that I'm fat. I can't BREATH anymore. My pants don't fit. My legs get tired from walking to my office every morning.
I can't make love like a sex crazed lunatic anymore. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME? Screw you, screw this...fat sucks...I feel like shit. Take yer fat ass to the gym with ME. And YES I hate the gym too, but fuck it, it's better than being fat. Let's work out together. No compassion for your obese condition or mine. None at all. We all have our crosses to bear. Now YOURS is mine...and it's all my fault...and yours is all YOURS! Stop BLUBBERing!!
010216
...
knives i really enjoy your site 010320
...
monde which means "world" big and round dafremen, maybe YOU can afford the goddam gym. i went to 24 hr nautilus last year to sign up. i asked up at the front counter how much...they said we'll have a trainer come and talk about it with you. i asked again how much. they said please wait a moment. then out comes mister jack be nimble in his gym shorts and a big smile and too vigorous handshake. i ask him HOW MUCH WILL THIS COST ME i want to join the gym for a month. he wouldn't answer. he said well first can we talk a little bit about what this is going to be WORTH to YOU. i want YOU to tell me how much weight you want to lose.

i was getting REAL suspicious - this was the biggest snowjob i have ever seen. i said i wanna be realistic, get myself in shape, i know the weight ain't gonna drop off like it was melting off my bones. i know in reality most people lose a maximum of 20-25 pounds or so from diet and exercise together. and then no more, really.

this asshole salesman told me why don't you set your goals higher. What would it mean to you to lose FIFTY pounds?

well, i thought to myself
it would mean i would stop feeling
like all i was
was a middle aged but ungrownup
just grown OUT
has-been of an
ex-junkie ex-industrial-music-groupie
who can't walk without plodding
waddling
it's not just vogue and MTV you know
it's every female in every sci fi novel
or other thing i read or look at anywhere

for most people i figure
the idea of fucking a fat body
is about as attractive as me thinking of
doing it with a guy with
short hair

I HATE SUPERFICIALITY
AND MY OWN SICK HYPOCRISY
AND SHALLOW SHIT
but most of all i hate that fucking
24 hour nautilus guy who made me listen to his babble about goals and motivation for 45 minutes
just to hear i could not just sign up
for a month it had to be for 6 months and would cost $475.00
like i can afford that. right.

so i take walks. it doesn't help
i'm from an obese family, i am fat for life, and if my boyfriend ever gets sick of it and ever gets sick of ME
and leaves me
i'd fuck my own hallucinations for the rest of my life
rather than deal with approaching the kind of guy
who'd even consider boinking me
looking as i do

275 pounds, five foot seven
are you getting the picture?

(unless he's a clone of my mate
and i don't think he got around to making one yet.)
010420
...
sammy whale fat can be used to make lamp oil. 010420
...
Dafremen You're fat dear. Oh well, worse things have happened to worse people. Not all gyms are nautilus and dipshit airhead jocks in shorts. You need some weight lifting and aerobics dear. If you want to bring up the fact that your family is fat, that's your prerogative, but the fact of the matter is that DOESN'T free you from the responsiblity for getting yourself where you want to be, anymore than the fact that nicotine is the second most addictive substance next to heroin frees me from blame if I don't quit smoking. I was responsible for my 13 year smoking habit IN SPITE of the fact that kicking it was the hardest thing I had ever asked myself to do. In SPITE of the fact that I had failed to quit time and time and time again. If you want something you don't say, "Aww f*ck it!" you keep trying til it's done or until you just don't want it anymore. (I DID quit by the way, last July see also: Marlboro )

Saying "This is how I am and I can't change" or "Unless you were me you couldn't possibly know" or "My whole family is fat, it's genetic" or "It's not a choice" is a crutch. It's motivated by the SAME thing that keeps you fat. Lack of TRUE desire to quit. Once you lose that desire, you've succumbed to your own self made image of you which more often than not you will blame on society's unfair expectations of you and other fat people like you. If you DON'T want to be fat you won't, plain and simple. If you don't want to do WHATEVER it takes to not be fat AND you can live with that, then say so. Say you don't WANT to be skinny. No I'm afraid those old crutches won't quite support your weight missy. They just won't. Is it hard? DAMN straight it's hard. Is it the hardest thing you'll ever have to do..probably so. Will you be a HOT sexy babe when you're done losing the weight? F*ck yea, just about every fat chick that's ever lost the weight HAS been.(Course they usually cant cope with all of the attention and turn into freaky sluts, but hey, every form of refuge has its price and refuge from the judging eye of society is no exception)
I've said my piece. If you want to go on blathering about how it's not your fault and you can't do anything about it, you do that, I'm going to my apartment complex's workout room every day and walking the bike path every morning and every night. I take my wife and kids for a walk every weekend. Hell yea I'm EXHAUSTED after I'm done and I HATE working out, it's such a waste of time. Then again, right now it's time I'm willing to waste...for ME.
010509
...
j_blue losing weight does change alot of things

when i lost it, i began to resent everyone around me who noticed that i looked better

even now, i become irritated if i suspect that somebody is cruising me

its hard to forgive people for something like this, by accepting their praise or attention, i am promoting the system of abuse which i had been festering under until the weight loss, at least thats how it feels

it isnt right

yet its strange, and most people i know that lost weight do go through a period of resentment and adjustment

i wonder how many ex-fat, now-slutty girls are actually playing the accepted slutty men??
010509
...
owko fat can be phat
big up respect to the big people
010509
...
tara i had issues with weight when i was thin.
i had issues with weight when i was fat.
at what weight will the issues end?
010515
...
Dafremen Oh no doubt about it j_blue, they DO. It's vengeance with a vengeance baby.

Same thing happens to geeks that redo their image. They take a bit of pleasure in making the beautiful ones suffer.

Hey all is fair in...
010524
...
Dafremen I think the biggest roadblock facing fat people is probably a mental one, not a physical one.

It seems to me that whenever fat people decide to lose weight they're not looking as it as pursuing a positive goal.

No I think most fat folx look at weight loss as something they do to avoid the PAIN that society heaps upon them.

Well anyone can tell you that if you do something to avoid pain you don't really do it because you want to, you do it because you feel forced to.

It's when fat people start looking at weight loss and the inevitable tedium and pain that comes with it as positive steps on their way to not being fat that they can achieve that goal.

Don't RUN AWAY from the you that you DON'T want to be.

RUN TOWARD the you that you DO want to be.
010524
...
superherokylie doesn't everyone feel that way at one time or another? yeah its dumb, i know..but its something in our society. i wish i was different 010611
...
unhinged i'm kinda fat. i always have been. between my freshman and sophomore years in high school i got taller so it was a little easier for me to find clothes that fit. i always got teased for how i looked and i absolutely hated junior high. but when i graduated from high school my whole attitude changed and i didn't care as much about what people thought so i was a little bit more happy with myself. i tell myself every year that i'm going to go on a diet. i never do. i tell myself everyday that tomorrow is going to be the day that i start running. at least i walk home from work. i don't know...about a year ago me and my mom and my cousin and my friend were at the cleveland art museum. it's a wonderful museum. my mom saw an old statue and said to me "too bad you weren't born a few hundred years ago. you look just like that statue." and i did for the most part...cause you know what, most people have little bulges here and there. some of mine aren't as little as i would like them to be, but hey it's pretty normal. i'm not at an unhealty weight. i walk everyday to keep in shape. ok, so smoking probably negates the health benefits of my walking to some degree, but at least i'm not sitting on my ass like i am right now typing this. so when guys snicker cause i don't look like a supermodel, i say 'shove it up your ass buddy' the only thing that bothers me, it that he would never even consider it because i'm fat. that is enough to motivate me somedays. but that's the wrong kind of motivation. i wish my ass would heal already so that i could lay flat on my back and do sit-ups. 010611
...
Dafremen You go girl! 010612
...
jim theres this really big teacher at my school and a lot of people make fun of her cause she's huge, and i felt so sorry fer her until she told me to get a stack of paper out of her closet and there was a huge 5-gallon bucket of tootsie rolls in her closet, then i stopped feeling sorry fer her 010630
...
firehunden soft
plump
chubby
well-rounded
filled-out

but not fat....
that's gross
010630
...
black-dyed gel product HAHAHAHAHA!!
I'M NOT FAAA AAT! NA NA NA NA NAA NAAAAAA!!
AND YOU PEOPLE AAA AARE!!! NA NA NA NA NAA NAAAAAA!!

HAHA! I'm on the thin side and you're all fat! HAHA!
010630
...
yummychuckle **gives black-dyed gel product an envious glare**

me. and all i do is whine about it, oh yeah and when i DID take action to make myself thin it wasn't the right way. the health book says according to height and age, i am a healthy weight, more towards the thinner side. but my health book obviously doesn't know shit with its bright turtle neck clad teenagers.

for like a SECOND the other day, i was able to make myself think a different way.I just had this moment where i realized that weight doesnt matter and 'i'm not fat' (it was the thought at the time but im being perfectly sane now). i was looking at a picture of logan and his exgirlfriend and i just kinda had a 'moment of clarity'. haha such a silly subject.

seeya chester.
010709
...
Dafremen I decided a progress report is in order:

Having started at 210 pounds I am proud to say htat I now weigh 179 and am almost down to my goal of 165. I've given up all but two eggs and a half a slice of toast in the mornings, I take my Ritalin and work through lunch, then I eat a decent dinner if I feel like it, or drink a slim fast if I don't.(The Cappucino Delight flavored SlimFast makes yer piss smell like fresh brewed coffee and urine...it's a strange sensation. I'm not the only one at work to report this side effect.)

I admit that I've slowed down on lifting weights, but I still go for my walks and I've given up calling coworkers on the phone at work. Instead I get up and walk to their desks.

I've done all of these things because I NEED to feel good about how I look and feel physically. It helps me to feel good about myself and who I am mentally and THAT's the most important thing in the world. If you get the impression that I'm some self-confident preppy gym-jock type, you couldn't be more wrong...my wife has characterized me as being "the laziest man on the planet".(A title which, to date, has brought me neither fame NOR fortune.)

I realize that might weight problem is not as severe as some folx. Take heart though, and if you lose a pound or two, go ahead and shout about it, like I said...we'll work out TOGETHER.
010801
...
unhinged i'm losing weight because i drink nothing but water for the most part, try to eat less, and walk places. i could lose more weight if i watched what i eat better but i'm content for now. at least my pants will barely stay on my ass anymore.

good work daf. if i could get rid of 45 pounds i don't think people would recognize me.
010801
...
Dafremen Heheh I should feel like a schmoe walking around work pulling my pants up and tucking my shirt in all day long, but I don't. It just makes me smile. 010802
...
TalviFatin I am not fat....but I do have meat on my bones. So if I were stuck out in the desert for a week without food, I would survive...

I am naturally blessed with an hourgalss figure. So, curves are even more emphasized with my "fluffiness".

I have come to grips with the fact that I gain weight in the summer, and lose it in the winter. Also, that I am not fat...just pleasantly plump. People look at me and catagorize me as "skinny" when I really am not. I have the necessary tools to look female and sexy.

I wish more people would realize that women are beautiful. All of us.
010802
...
Dafremen 175 pounds! Only 10 more to go baby. I'm so excited that I drank another Slim Fast (YUUCK!) shake for dinner. I'm taking this last 10 pounds off in two weeks or less. Mark my words. Then I'm maintaining. Watch THAT happen to. 010815
...
marjorie like most...
i am in need of a bit of exercise
however, i do not want to leave my home
i do not want to purchase expensive machinery
and id o not want to be badgered
HOWEVER,
oh shut up, me.
heh. i'm fat.
i'm american, too.
many americans are fat.
it's not healthy.
not healthy at all.
010825
...
distorted tendencies i'm losing weight because i am anorexic. i get dizzy my head spins and i think i am getting arthiritis. but i can't stop. i am afraid of being fat. 010825
...
lexxa i am fat which means i am ugly, disgusting, hated, alone...dead 010907
...
yufap Afraid to be unaccepted. Fat, I hope that i will never be considered fat by anyone, but i'm sure I am. One of my worst fears may have already come true. Shallow, is that what I am? Why is this feeling eating me away then? Fat, ugly, why are they the same word? 010920
...
pralines&cream Monde, shut up about your excuses. If you really were determined to lost the weight, you'd do it. For those of you who take your little walks to lose weight, it won't help you. You need to run. And run. And run. And only when you feel your throat closing up, and your insides burning with battery acid, you must still keep on going. You need to run fast and keep the same stride, no matter if it hurts. When I run and feel like i'm about to faint with my next step, i run faster. And when my body is heaving with pain, i know it's burning up all the fat that makes me frown when i look in the mirror, that makes me weigh myself every morning and night, that makes me look FAT in my cute, cute clothes. What's the point of having cute clothes if i'm going to look like a whale in them? I don't have pity for you people. If you want to get thin, you will. I am 5'8" and i weigh 135 pounds. That's too fat for me - 5 more pounds to lose, and i will do it, without making excuses. If you really want to lose weight, you'll do the same. 010921
...
kingsuperspecial wow, Drafreman, you're down to 175lbs. That's pretty good for someone who is 4'3" tall. 010922
...
Chris I hate being fat but I can't stop eating! 011026
...
fat bastard behemoth satan "Of course i'm no' happy, look at me, i havena seen my willy in two years...tha's long enough to declare it legally dead...i can't stop eating...i eat because i'm unhappy and i'm unhappy because i eat....now if you'll just excuse me, there's someone i need to get in touch with and forgive...myself....



PFRFFRFRFRFRFT


sorry...i farted..."
011026
...
Inanna phat is phat
fat is not phat
I'm glad I'm not fat, but if I were fat, I would eat less and exercise more. I don't have anything against fat people. Phat people are cool, but fat people are ummmm... fat. Why do so many married men become fat after being married a few years? Weird Al's parody 'FAT' is pretty hilarious. It is pretty phat.
011026
...
Ivy Who the fuck even cares anyway? I mean what difference does it really even make? Shit I'm fat.. I'm fat as hell, but I have a lot of friends and people have never teased me, not to my face anyway. And if it's behind my back, then who cares cuz they're just pussy ass. It's how you act. You're level of maturity, down to earthness, yet fun. Because if someone wants to say shit about you, blow 'em off. It takes the fun out of it for them and the misery out of it for you. Yeah it feels great to start excersizing but between school and work, who the hell has time to walk. I mean realistically.. to whoever said "I'd just eat less and excersize" is fucking retarded. I could eat the same amount as they do and excersize more and still be twice as fat. So who the fuck cares?! Untill it affects you're health it's okay. Just be a confident person and go around with a "I dont give a fuck" attitude when it comes to what people think of you. Think of very skinny guyz, it's gross. Same goes for women. Too Big and Too thin is describes as gross.. So why try to be like everyone else. Yeah I'm fat. And you might think I'm gross because of it, but I'm cool as hell. I think it'd suck to be a typical skinny blonde and have guyz only like you because of it, and only want to get in your pants because of it. The friends I have are all cool as hell. They'd never try to make themselves try to look better by hanging out with or going out with a typical looking girl. If I wasn't fat I'd probably have shitty ass friends that are only hanging out with me for statis. It's all bullshit. If you're fat, Rock on.. if you're skinny rock on.. but fuck all those who still haven't grown up and realized this. (hahah I'm skinny.. yeah and you're life is probably shitty as hell right now cuz you only have a few friends that aren't even what they they seem to be, and everything thing around you is bullshit, so you make yourself feel better cuz you're skinny) It's a fucking joke and we know it. You're just making yourself look stupid. 011028
...
Dafremen see also: FAT_GUYS_WITH_CLASS 011029
...
skinny It is pretty sad to see someone who is not only fat but pathetic. They get to look foward to all the health problems associated with obesity and the prejudice of a superficial society. 011104
...
pralines&cream Ivy

Your friends pity you
011117
...
florescent light I wish I had some more fat
I'm very ally mcbealish
built like a girl,
not like a woman.
on a good day I can fit into a size one
if not, then it's off to the kids section for me
(hence my sparklely sneakers)
which isn't a bad thing
I don't obscess over my appearance
in fact, I don't give it a second thought

i look in the mirror to make sure my shoes go with my pants, and my pants match with my shirt and my shirt goes with my shoes.(i also have to make sure my hair isn't frizzy).
I might turn around to make sure my jeans are sitting right on my ass, and to make sure they aren't wrinkled or have any gum or whatever.
sometimes I even like to admire my butt, since it's really the only curve I've got on my body. (I think you would agree that I have a very nice butt)but if I do, it's never for anymore than like, 3 seconds.


anyway, all my friends are always complaining how "fat" they are.
I think it's ridiculous.
I tell them that's not fat, it's curves
and they are incredably beatuful and womanly.
none of them beleive me
011117
...
unhinged have you looked in a magazine lately sheryl?

that's why none of them believe you
011117
...
Chunker Yeah you make sure your shoes match your belt and belt matches your shirt and bla bla. I make sure my pants can even fit and my sweatshirt covers my rolls and my chins look like one, and my asscheeks look like two. I dont understand how guys go for girls that have frizzy lookin hair and a turtle looking face with absolutly no substance whatsoever, yet they're skinny, rather than a a fatter girl that actually takes care of themself and has some sort of personality. I just dont understand it! 011205
...
ClairE Fat sucks.

Large is okay.

There are ways to dealing with being fat.

There are ways to dealing with being an addict.

There are ways to deal with bad relationships.

In short, life is hard. And sometimes we find people who can help us.

(I'm not fat. I'm about 5' 3" and 150 lbs. It's the most I've ever weighed but it's not fat and I realized, even if I do weigh more than I "should"--what does it matter if I lose ten pounds or not? I'm not going to fail a class. I'm not going to let down a friend. I try to stay healthy and I appreciate my curves.

And I try to hold on to a positive attitude. Because we all count the pounds and hate ourselves for eating ice cream and all that shit.

But, to end this on a positive note...things can work out. Yeah.)
011205
...
jestification well, props to my granny for telling me when i'm 11 that i needed to loose weight and well,
what a fucking observant little girl i was, because i could hear her undertones very clearly and it went something like this:
"you need to get a man, and if you're fat, well, you can't get a man".......
and never mind i was just a kid,
and never mind i wasn't really fat,
and never mind that i became addicted to fast food at an early age....
it hurt..
because someone i loved was wanting to change me......for reasons i didn't even understand.
and it still hurts....
because i buried it so fucking deep,
but it has manifested into a disgusting, dripping complex.
it doesn't matter how many guys (or girls) hit on me.
it doesn't matter when they say i'm smart, i'm talented, i'm passionate, i'm observant or pretty or "fucking cute" or whatever....oh & "interesting", gotta love that one.
i still house self hate.
to me, fat has nothing to do with health or exercise (i eat great and walk everywhere...i run around with my dog...i meditate)...........
it has nothing to do with "getting up off the couch"
or eating crackers and fucking slim fast. (FUCKING_SLIM_FAST?)
fat (or rather the hate of fat) is now a commodity.....
& skinny does not equal health...duh

but what the fuck is fat?
is it 10, 30, 50, 100 lbs. overweight?
and who establishes what overweight is? and why does it matter b/c we (in the U.S.) don't live in a culture of nomadic tribes, we're lazy, consuming pigs......uggh..and the global cultural landscape seems so ready to catch up... why?

sorry, weed rants..........

*sigh*
011206
...
Jenna I hate being fat. I HATE IT. It makes me want to die. I might be able to do something about it, if I had the ambition, if I felt like I ever wanted to move.

Keep your pep talks to yourself, I've heard it all.

I have started walking a TON more since I went to college. I eat a lot less. Drink water. Take the six flights of stairs to my room. I thought I could at least stop at the weight that I'm at, that being my only real goal.

I came home from Christmas and weighed myself.

I've GAINED 10 pounds since I started school.

::sobbing::
011220
...
Bleu So whats are we "suppose" to eat? Seriously, because everyone has such different taste. I just want to know what skinny (non eating disordered) people eat! From breakfast, Lunch and Dinner what do you typically eat? 011221
...
(bulging) cube Judging by the number of postings, many have fat issues
...
011222
...
Jenna I exercised for real today. With burn and sweat and weights and everything. And I've been doing it for a couple of weeks.

That is such a huge accomplishment for me, to do it and feel the hurt and keep going, you have no idea.

Or maybe some of you do. :)
020313
...
silentbob Voice on Phone: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now. 020325
...
Syrope aww silentbob! lol

i wish i were skinny so i could complain about how skinny i was :)

for now, i'll stick with my bulges and try to get an A in that stupid biology course. when i try to lose weight, the numbers take hold of me and i can't do anything. i gave blood and the woman was like how much do you weigh and i said i dont know. she glared at me, oh im making her life so hard...but oh well. i felt like screaming "im over the freakin 110 minimum, and if you cant tell that you need stronger glasses, lady"...but...anyway...being bulimic didnt work.

"I'm a fucking shrub, alright!"
"74 is the perfect weight!"
020325
...
the Queen of Hearts you fucking people.

i cant believe this shit...

i havent physically felt sick reading blather ever before.

all you people who like to think of yourself as soo cool and better and more special than all the tools at your school and then you come here and perpetuate the EXACT same culture here!

a perfect case in point: pralines&cream.

for fucks sake, wake up to yourselves! your weight, or trendy lack of it, does not make you any better than the next fucktard, you morons.
020325
...
misstree though it wasn't very diplomatically put, I have to agree with Queen_of_hearts. You think that because you're skinny, you're better? Sit down, let's talk about chaos magic. I'll spin you head around so well people will mistake it for a newfangled toothbrush, 'specially on the little stick body. You think it'll help you attract a mate? Keep 'em. You think it makes you a good person?

When we all die, when all meat is dust, and we're facing whatever comes next, try to tell me that the heart inside the meat wasn't petty and prideful, that you truly looked at people for who they were, not what kind of meat they had, and if you can do it with a straight face you can have my place in line.

Now.

I've been at an above average weight for most of my life. Luckily, most of it developed into womanly curves--a bit more ample than I'd like, but I don't look like hte 13-year old boy models that run about these days. I've been crabbing at work lately because I'm having trouble locking down a bartending shift "because my tummy ain't flat enough and my tits ain't big enough". Everywhere else I've lived, it hasn't been as much of an issue, but in a wealthy college town... *shrug* Every person I've mentioned it to has told me I'd make a bomb-ass bartender, because I've got the personality for it. (TOld to me by customers). The best compliment was from an older lesbian lady, who said that if I worked at a gay bar, I'd have a *lot* of fans... lesbians & female bisexuals seem to be able to free themselves from the twiggy stereotypes fo beauty a bit more than most. And I do have the personality for it. I can make *anyone* feel welcome, entertained, and make them want to stay, and come again.

So fuck them all, I'm clawing my way to the top, birthin' hips or not.

And for those of you who tell others "screw your excuses", fuck yourselves. Each person has a different mountain to climb. Genetic factors *do* influence weight. They can be overcome, but it's not like shedding a beer belly. And when you're working from a base of pain and shame, even thinking about doing anything floods you with self-hatred, and nothing changes.

If you've been able to change your weight, great, good for you, you've got lots of willpower. If you haven't and you want to, keep working at it, if you set your will you can succeed at anything. If you haven't and you don't want to, great, don't let shitheads get you down, they are ruled by their meat and see nothing else in others. To all of the above, remember that it's what's beyond the meat that counts.
020325
...
sabbie if your not happy with the inside, y'aint never going to like the outside, no matter what it might look like. 020325
...
yummyC finger getting lost in my flesh. feel fat today. 020325
...
Dafremen Gawd is it just me...or is it pathetically obvious that anyone who cannot lose weight is not doing one of the following?

Eating a lot less.
Exercising a lot more

You can whine and cry and toss your low self esteem out on the table all you want to, it WILL NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THERE IS A LEVEL OF CALORIC INTAKE AND CALORIC OUTPUT THAT WILL LOWER YOUR WEIGHT. Period.
It may be painful, you may feel like you are starving, but this too will pass once you aren't lugging your truck-sized tookus around.

Tired of the pep talks? Fine. No more pep talks. Science trumps all of your woe-is-me shrugs and sobs of self-pity.
I am, quite frankly, TIRED of watching society change to accomodate your piss poor dietary habits and your I-can't-move-around-that-much attitude. You don't deserve the accomodation, you deserve 6 months in boot camp and, if your parents taught you to eat like this and move around this little, they deserve a swift kick in the head or their more-than-ample asses, whichever is more appropriate. Good people are you? Fine, you are hereby accepted on a personality basis and shunned on a physical/sexual/romantic basis except by those who find the repulsively obese and the pathetically self-pitying to be attractive. If that isn't enough, gimme some more of your sob stories so I can point again and again to the scientifically and medically unavoidable fact that there IS a threshold at which your caloric intake is exceeded by your caloric consumption and that if you would eat less, exercise more, you can reach that threshold. There is nothing you can say that will take that fact away. Nothing. There is no magical gene that turns air into calories. There is no magical DNA combination that makes a 1 calorie tic tac magically turn into 10 pounds. There are differences in metabolism, to be sure, but these differences will NOT stop you from reaching your weight goals. They cannot, for the simple scientific fact that I've already stated several times.

Get up, move around...take the pain, avoid the food. You can make it, there is no reason that you can't except for your own piss-poor, half-assed excuses.

If you tried and didn't make it...it wasn't enough...try harder.

Oh...and whether you care or not, I think about you a lot and wish that I could do more for you.

That's the truth...but I won't pity you and you shouldn't either.
020623
...
FAT-T MA-GEE ........am i fat?! 020818
...
lo actually there is a medical disorder which make air into calories....well in a way...when i first heard about it i didn't believe it...someone was telling me his sister had this problem where swallowing air made her fat...i thought it was just a lame ass excuse but i actually read that they swallow all this air and causes them to feel hungry constantly. something like that ...i read it a whiel ago...i wish i could rembember where i read it.. if i ever find it again i will post it...
just a weird bit of info
020818
...
thea i am fat. i wish i could lose weight but i'm lazy. do you know how to make a livejournal? i think if i had a livejournal and recorded my weight every morning and night there and people reviewed i'd be able to lose weight. 020821
...
catherine you rang?

seriously, fat is yellow.
030218
...
the one with nothing to say yellow is phat 030218
...
sometimes is never good enough nothing tastes as good as thin feels

fat girl sits alone
crying and eating
eating the world up
her broken heart bleeding
she eats until she's full
and then she eats again
trying to fill up
her empty, lonely pain
fat girl has no one
to confide in or talk to
it's because she's so fat
so fat, sad, and blue
she thunders down the hall
and kneels by the toilet
she purges up dinner
just trying to forget
but she can't and she won't
to be damned to know
hoping is dead and your doomed
Then to cry out
and nobodys there
she knew no one cared
she knows she must take action
fat girl wants to shrink
to be reduced to a fraction
she cuts back on the calories
she counts them one by one
fat girl exercises too
swim, then stretch, now run
the pounds are falling off
they quickly melt away
a couple more pounds here
fat girl starves one more day
one day fat girl looks
into her mirror, un-lying
fat girl's not so fat anymore
Im skinny, she thinks, almost
but she's so thin that she's dying
they send her to the hospital
and drip-drop food into her
she feels her bones everyday
and pets her downy fur
she doesn't eat anymore
she lives on water and air
they say she's going to die
but fat girl doesn't care
they operate on fat girl
stick a catheter in her chest
they pour in TPN
and confine her to bed rest
fat girl screams and cries
they're trying to make her swell
they're jealous of her progress
well, damn them all to hell
fat girl rips it out-
the catheter in her body
it hurts like hell but that's okay
'cause now she can stay skinny
no one cares she ripped it out
everything is fine now
the doctors say she's healthy
she escaped their grip somehow
she can leave the hospital
fat girl's going home
she jogs and skips the whole way
admiring her bones
what fat girl doesn't realize
is she hit her frail heart
when she ripped out the catheter
from earth she now does part
fat girl sits in heaven
watching all the people
who tried to save her body
from her minds anorexic rule
her only friend

i just want a friend
030418
...
phil You can feel the energy from food. 030418
...
electric i feel so fat tonight

i have done it all
i tried to puke
i tried to starve
i took the laxatives till i bled

but now i tried to run
and i lifted weights
and i ate better food

..... and i took some pills..

im losing weight
im getting sexy
im getting attention from men

and u are all right, the attention is maddening

you want to stay yourself
but its impossible- we are shaped by our daily experiences

and if my daily experience is being hit on by people i used to lust after with no return, it becomes quite difficult.

but the bottom line remains the same--

i found out last week that if i lost all body fat... 0% body fat left... i would still be 30 lbs over my so-called "ideal weight" according to medical charts.

to those i say...."FUCK YOU!"
030625
...
endless desire the bain of my existance.

i like to think i'd be ok if it all just went away. but then i probably wouldn't, even then. i would just find something else to hate. i've decided that fat is the object i place my own self hatred on, but not its source. it just isn't. i'm fat but im not THAT fat. and even so, i'd like to think that i am not that shallow. i like to think that all this suffering is not just because of some complex with the way i look. because that would just be pathetic.
030625
...
daxle the generally accepted theory these days is that people with eating disorders feel like they have no control over what happens to them in life, and so they pick that one thing to focus on. by controlling their weight, they can feel confident and in control. however, this means that their perception about how they look must become distorted, or they would stop not eating or purging at some point. if they did that, they'd have nothing left to control.
it all seems very scary to me. people in this situation appear to actually be out of control to people watching them.
030625
...
Sparticus amen. fat and control are both illusory perceptions 030625
...
xman Not fat - Jolly! 030708
...
Dafremen There is no ideal body weight. All things depend upon your physical makeup. When you say that you would weigh 30 pounds over the "ideal body weight" at 0% fat, it sounds like what you're really saying is that you've found yet another excuse not to try. 030708
...
Dafremen Excuse me, an excuse to STOP trying.

see also: fat_guys_with_class
030708
...
closet ballerina I recently discovered fat.
(at 100 lbs even, i had none, with the exception of my skinny little ass)
Frankly, it's very comfortable and i like it.
Which is not to say i'm planning on getting huge.
But i've decided i'd like a few curves, and the all that bullshit presented by the media and the mainstream opinion can go take a long walk on a short pier.
030831
...
welcometohel fat has nothing to do with control. its bullshit. food tastes good. So we eat it. Spare me this filling the void crap. You dont want to be fat, exercise. You dont want to be judged? Then stop judging yourself. You hate magazines with "13 year old boy bodies" then stop supporting them. Just let it go. you are confining yourself with your own prison. 030910
...
oldephebe yeah wheight issues - my wheight has fluctuated between 165 and 245 for the past 8 years - right now i guess i'm about 195 - i've got 30lbs to go - and yeah it's true when i lose wheight my co-workers and strange women seem really interested in staring at me for too long a period of time with this mischievous or lascivious glint in thier eye - i'm six feet, with broad shoulders and really defined facial features (i unfortunately resemble one of my sisters, not my twin but an older one by a year, um her friends who knew me used to constantly say your sister looks just like you, she's considered to be very beautiful but still i hate the comparison, i don't see the comparison as strongly as others do, even my mom says it some times - but when i gain wheight i look more masculine, more like my pop- so when i lose wheight there's this really dramatic transformation - i usually try to incorporate whieght training to hasten the wheight loss and uh this gives an added visually aesthetic benefit - a sharpened or acute lean look - but i feel strangly offended when girls all of a sudden start smiling and cozying up and really start paying attention to what i'm saying..all based on the loss of 60 or 70 pounds or so - and the whole wheight thing is something i've battled since high school, i'm either too thin or lean or really overwheight - up and down, i can keep the wheight off for about 3 to 4 years and then it slowly creeps back on - then it takes another 2 years or so to take it off - so now i guess i'm in thin mode - kind of not looking forward to it because sometimes it attracts unwanted affections or attention - the autistic slim me, i seem to write better though when i'm thin, when i've gone a few days on nothing but coffee, juice and a little popcorn - it's much easier to write, it's like i'm all pure and empty and in clear contact with my soul - sounds wierd but yeah that's the thing - so i guess in another 30lbs or so and my writing will be less opaque, less
labyrinthine, ..maybe - aside from the health benefits which is mainly why i obsess over it, what's the point? up and down and round and maybe not so around we go..strangely enough the sister i resemble has serious wheight issues as well, but she never allows herself to gain more than say 30lbs over her ideal wheight, she's really breath taking though when she's thin - we don't like one another but we kind of just stare at one another on the rare occasions we do meet up and yeah it's kind of like looking in the mirror sometimes - she's musically gifted - dance, clarinet, and wow! what a voice - totally blows me away..

okay so yeah we should really shave the fat off 'cause of all the health risks, and the self esteem issues - only i don't like attracting attention - so maybe i'll just clothe myself in sensible shoes and really drab hues, something taupe and ah split oea soup green..yeah that's it..the health benefits of losing wheight though can't be argued against - so yeah if you can really try to work it off..

later,
...
030911
...
minnesota_chris skinny is sexy. No getting around it.

I have this utopian dream, that someday everyone will weigh exactly what they want to weigh (I still say that weight is not entirely in our control, and something that is sometimes out of control is completely out of control.) There will be all these sexy 50 and 60 year olds runnin around having affairs.
030911
...
minnesota_chris I walk two miles every day, in my spare time I do landscaping, but I'm not thin, never have been. I should probably lose 15 pounds.

The only time I've been thinner was when I ate only one cup of food at meals, and after that ate fruits and vegetables.
030917
...
Perplexlypuzzled The most interesting people in the world are neither fat, skinny, intelligent, young, old, or stupid. They are human. I have a tendancy to believe that once a mind is put to good use and set upon a single thing, there should be no changing it. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work. I am, in my mind, fat. I have been told that I am attractive. I have been told that I am not. I have decided, however, to ignore what others think and base my opinions entirely upon myself. I believe that I need to lose a bit of weight, and I fully plan on doing it. I believe that anyone else who has a similar goal, by all rights, should be able to accomplish it. Again, some things don't always go as planned. To all of you, I wish the best of luck. 031012
...
a girl with nothing to say i consider myself fat but my friends say im just perfect dont change stay the way you are well if they only knew how fat i realy can be i mean i am constantly starving myself to be as thin as all of the others but now im realizing that were not fat just full figured girls 031017
...
its true waiting for the strokes 031111
...
olivia after all the years, all the worry, all the pain, the fainting from hunger, the crippling cramps... i'm back to how i was in the first place. still 'fat'. was it worth it? no. will this voice in my head keep telling me i should lose weight? will billboards keep telling me i should be like their models? will magazines keep telling me the perfect diet? yes. of course. this is our world. 031113
...
tori FAT! ahhh! its taking this country over! the biggest epidemic since.....it is the biggest epidemic! run! wait, we can't...... 031115
...
tyger I smoked for 10 years. 3 years ago, I quit smoking. Cold turkey. I gained 40 pounds shortly thereafter, making me for the first time in my life a resident of the leper colony (otherwise known as the overweight of image obsessed America).

I lost 20 of those pounds this year and it was so difficult that it made quitting smoking look like a cake walk.

I just hate all the people who say "stop making excuses". How is it so easy for them? I have a will of iron - I walked out on an abusive relationship even though I had no resources, I quit smoking AND I put myself through college and into an extremely competitive Ph.D. program on sheer stubbornness and will alone. That's just since 1999. I have been told by many people in my 29 years that I am the strongest, most independent and self-willed person they know. And yet I am only able to lose 1/4 pound a week.

Here's what I do: 1400 calories a day, low fat and moderate carb. 5 meals a day for portion control. No junk food, no sugar, lots of veggies. Exercise every day, including weight lifting, walking, fencing and martial arts. I think I am in better shape now than I ever was when I was skinny. And yet I am still fat and I still get treated with contempt by others who think that I am lazy, make excuses and don't take responsibility for my life. And to those people, I would like to say...

I DON'T BINGE, CHEAT OR SKIP EXERCISE! YOU ASSHOLES TELL ME WHAT EXCUSES I'M MAKING!! PLEASE, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THE LIES YOU TELL YOURSELF SO THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE TORTURING THE OVERWEIGHT WITHOUT GUILT...

It's easy to judge others when you aren't in their shoes.
031116
...
tyger I guess I have more to say about this after all...

There is a girl of my acquaintance who used to be very large (over 300 lbs, but she's also 6 feet tall.) In the last two years, through exercise and diet, she has lost 135 lbs, or as she says, "an entire Backstreet Boy". She looks a lot better than she used to. But she is still a pretty big girl.

She owns her own home, has a college degree, is smart, funny, not at all bitter and (obviously) has some will power. But do you think anybody takes her seriously??? Do you think she can find a man to date???

When we go out to a restaurant people stare at her and I can tell what they are thinking - they are thinking, "stop eating you fat pig". As if she should just abstain entirely until she becomes a size 2...

I wish she could hang a picture around her neck of what she used to look like so other people would treat her better. People are so ignorant and cruel and I know it hurts her feelings terribly. Imagine doing all that work and losing all that weight and people still assuming that you are a disgusting lazy cow!

I guess the moral of this story is: never assume you know anything about someone just based on their appearance.
031116
...
minnesota_chris Well said. I have this dream that someday, people will weigh exactly what they want. And all these skinny 50 and 60 year olds will be running around having mad affairs. 031116
...
2 cents I exercised like crazy last year...I loved it...

I only lost 12 pounds...but I felt great

Then I moved...things got stressful and now I've gained 12+50

I've always been overweight. I know I need to exercise. I need to eat better. But I sometimes feel like I don't deserve to be "thin"...does that make sense to anyone? I guess I've been a fat slob for so long...no one makes eye contact with you and heaven forbid someone should smile at you. You feel totally isolated. You're constantly being told that you are bad, evil and ugly. Why would anyone bad, evil or ugly feel worthy of anything??
031126
...
Eowithien I'm not fat, never have been really. I'm awefully thin in fact. I don't enjoy it, never have. I feel like my muscles cling to me in the wrong way. I have no boobs. Okay, I do, but they are very small and I hate it. You'd think I'd at least be a 32B. But no, I'm barely a 32A. Its quite annoying, I feel so "looked beyond" if that makes sense, because guys see whats missing all the time. Except for one, he doesn't seem to mind me. Thinks I'm hot in fact. Its quite a nice feeling, to be found beautiful. Its not something I'm quite accustomed to.

I suppose this isn't going in the right place, but its the way I feel like I can express this. I suppose its more of a wish...that more people would realize that being thin isn't everything. It doesn't make you happy. I've lived this way practically my whole life (okay, so only 15 years...) and I'm no happier than the next depressed person. Don't become anorexic. As insane as it seems, sometimes I think I'm bordering anorexia. Blame it on my friend I suppose, I never would've thought of it otherwise. But perhaps because I'm so worried about it, I'm really not. Denial, I suppose.

My friend always says she's been told that she'd be so beautiful if she lost a few pounds. I think she's gorgeous, in all her 4'11" glory. She grew up with the dissatisfaction of her family, always critiquing her size. I've grown up rather differently, always being told how thin I am, how amazing that must be. I suppose being thin has benifits in certain situations, but I haven't found many. I don't fit in a lot of clothes, I live in kid sized tee-shirts that look stupid and in large sweatshirts to try and look different. I wear skirts to hide my legs, they just don't look right to me. Now I'm sometimes being told that I'm beautiful. By family members, by friends, by parents' friends. I never know how to react. It makes me uncomfortable. And thats sad. Everyone should be told they look beautiful. Its something too many people have grown up without.

I would love to be happily fat. Happily plump in my own happy way. I'd be happier if I was anything than what I am. I hope it doesn't take you long to realize that you'll find whatever "size" you want to be, and it doesn't have to be "thin."

I wish you all the luck in the world, no matter what you are struggling with.
031126
...
tyger I read this story this week about a girl who was really thin and flat chested. She was getting married and went to some upscale bridal boutique to try on wedding dresses.

The salesladies were really snotty and mean to her and said stuff like, "well, if you had any boobs this one would look good on you" and "we have to find a dress that doesn't make you look like a little boy". She was so hurt she cried in the wedding gown store. And then she didn't want to try on any more dresses. And this is supposed to be a happy experience in a woman's life! (and don't say that she should just ignore what other people say or do - it's not that easy!)

I wish we could just all be nice to one another. Sorry to sound so trite and fluffy, but why can't people just not judge others about their bodies??? Sometimes I feel like no matter what you look like somebody out there is trying to make you feel bad or ashamed or embarrassed about it. And there's no reason for it!
031126
...
oh nora god i hate 'feeling' fat 031126
...
oblivionmachine i wish the word didnt exist, so he wouldnt care if i saw him completly naked, or in a swimming suit, because hes beautiful to me. 031127
...
smurfus rex just wanted to remind those of you who are exercising more in order to lose weight that, as long as you are engaging in cardiovascular and aerobic exercises, you will lose body fat. If you are lifting weights or climbing stairs, you are building muscle...muscle which weighs more than body fat, by volume. Don't base your "success" or "failure" in losing weight on how many pounds you lose ALONE...measure the inches you lose also, because a rigorous exercise program will replace your body fat with muscle mass, and you might never hit your "target" weight because of that. 031127
...
bissa It just snuck up on me.. I woke up one morning and I was 200 pounds. and now it comes off so slow. I'm sick of being hungry. I'm sick of excercising, I'm sick of not looking like brittney spears. 031219
...
Eowithien I just showed up to see if I still agreed with what I said before...and I do.

But I'm still not sure if I'm anorexic. I mean..I don't know, I just really don't.

I know I'm thin, but then I think I'm not and I see all the flaws, but then I see beauty, but then I don't...

I hate this frame of mind.
031228
...
liz so do i.

THINNESS DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON HAPPY.

it only dominates the mind.
031229
...
BreakInRecords It sucks when your parents sit and tease you about it. There are very few people out there who will look at you and see who you really are. Just know they're out there. Be yourself..never be ashamed because its not worth it. Everyone goes through some kind of stage like this is their life, right? 040106
...
schmerin i simply dont believe in fat, and it hasnt bothered me yet. 040209
...
freedom it's always been there for me
mostly through thick but sometimes thin not really thin just not really fat
it stretches
my skin
my clothes

I'm afraid to be touched, I'm afraid to walk down the street, it's not because I hate who I am, it's not because I'm somewhat over weight.. not considerably just a bit
and even when I'm thin.. I'm still fat..


they drive by
and yell
and throw things
just cuz i can't fit into a size 4
If they only knew what it felt like to be me
to be THAT person, the one they make fun of
I am confident, most of the time, but it wears away after awhile
040322
...
ofsuch "You probably noticed, elsewhere I used the word fat. I used that word because that's what fat people are. They're fat. They're not large; they're not stout, chunky, hefty, or plump. And they're not big-boned. Dinosaurs are big-boned. These people are not necessarily obese, either. Obese is a medical term. And they're not overweight. Overweight implies there is some correct weight. There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it's not fat. Only people are fat, and that's what fat people are. They're fat. I offer no apology for this. It is not intended as criticism or insult. It is simply descriptive language. I don't like euphemisms. Euphemisms are a form of lying. Fat people are not gravitationally disadvantaged. They're fat. I prefer seeing things the way they are, not the way some people wish they were." - George Carlin 040513
...
hsgatincamail bmi sixteen is perfect. 040620
...
Jao You might not see it, but you are VERY healthy. Your thoughts are so healthy -- keep them that way!!!

And you are so right about the country making money off of hate. God that is so true.

Good for you!!!
040625
...
ezz yes they are fat people are gross i hate them kill them all, there should be no fat people in the world, they make me vomit 040823
...
kary my mom called me fat my dad called me fat my best freind called me fat that kid on my bus called me fat... and for the longest time i just hated myself. so much. i wished those love handles would burn in hell. Those things that started right below my normal sized waist and curved their way out bc they were full to the brim with fatfatfat. Those things i had had since i was 9. WHO HAS LOVE HANDLES WHEN THEYRE NINE?!

and i dont know what happened.
because i dont look much different to myself.
maybe its more acceptable to have those things on you when you're 16... because now
their not love handles.
theyre "hips".
still just as big and i still feel like theyre just as ugly.
but everyone else thinks theyre just great. "look at what great curves you have!" my mom says when it seems like it was just 2 years ago that she was suggesting i "cut down on those portions."
oh wait... it was 2 years ago.
what happened? im confused.
040926
...
stupid im skinny (i wish) hehehe lol 041202
...
stupid im skinny (i wish) hehehe lol 041202
...
bridgeburner I'm 14 and I just found out I've lost 11.2 lbs. I don't think we need to be skinny to be happy, it completley depends on the person. I now weigh 9.6 but I'm still unhappy. I'm pretty screwed up in the head. I never had the courage to lose weight and I'm still the same now, I haven't lost weight in a month. My aunt killed herself leaving behind several children my age because her self esteem lacked. She was overweight. My self esteem lacks completley with an emotional mind, untrustworthy friends and many members of the family having died in the past year (6 to be precise). But I consider myself quite lucky, and I think 'Why should we be skinny, because themn we'd be like everyone else, love me for who I am'. I say that to other people, but not to myself and I can't accept looking like I do, because depression creeps up on me too much. I'm scared of what I will do to myself if I don't lose it, because I am very pesimistic and can't see a way out of this box 050105
...
Freak Ive gained ten pounds in a month, my uterus is bigger then it should be at this stage, you can more movement than normal yet im not far enough that you can hear a heartbeat with a stethescope, only with the doppler...she wants me to come in for my next visit earlier than they are usually scheduled.......because there is a good possibility that im having twins 050105
...
FAT ARSE I CANNOT BE FUCKING ARSED LISTENING TO WHINGING SHAG HEADS WHO GO ON ABOUT-BIG IS BEAUTIFUL-BEAUTY IS WITHIN-LOOKS DONT MATTER-MY ARSE! I AM OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE I AM A FAT LAZY ARSED BITCH! BUT I TELL U NOW WHEN I AM THIN-I WILL BE A FUCKING SEX GOD AND PULL ANY GUY I WANT! MEN IN MY EYES WANT THE BODY AS WELL AS THE LOOKS-PERSONALITY IS ALWAYS A BONUS! I WILL NOT DATE A MINGER-SORRY TO DAMPEN THE FIRE BUT GET REALISTIC-FAT IS MINGING-THIN IS BEAUTIFUL! 050119
...
FAT ARSE I CANNOT BE FUCKING ARSED LISTENING TO WHINGING SHAG HEADS WHO GO ON ABOUT-BIG IS BEAUTIFUL-BEAUTY IS WITHIN-LOOKS DONT MATTER-MY ARSE! I AM OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE I AM A FAT LAZY ARSED BITCH! BUT I TELL U NOW WHEN I AM THIN-I WILL BE A FUCKING SEX GOD AND PULL ANY GUY I WANT! MEN IN MY EYES WANT THE BODY AS WELL AS THE LOOKS-PERSONALITY IS ALWAYS A BONUS! I WILL NOT DATE A MINGER-SORRY TO DAMPEN THE FIRE BUT GET REALISTIC-FAT IS MINGING-THIN IS BEAUTIFUL! 050119
...
falling_alone i don't want to be thin (a dream that will only be accomplished by plastic surgery, that i would never go through), i'd only like to be fit.

so i joined the Y, in hopes i could keep the strength and muscle i built up over the summer.

but slowly, i can feel it melting.

muscle back into fat, i haven't been to the gym in a month. i'm actually furious that no one will drive me there, so i can't get the use out of the money i'm paying, just to shed a little weight.
050119
...
emmi www.campaignforrealbeauty.co.uk 050119
...
maia I eat almost nothing and exercise, and I'm still fat. 5'9" and 200lbs. It's a miracle - my fat must sustain itself on air. 050128
...
bea I don't have a boyfriend because I don't want someone I am with to have to compromise on what they want to be with me.

I'm not going to believe that anyone wants to be with a fat chick. I distrust anyone who wants to be with me.
050227
...
bea and why do my friends feel the need to tell me I am overweight?

"you have a nice face, but your body is not the best"

they think I haven't noticed how fat I am? They think I'm not thinking about it all day, every time someone looks at me?

I know I'm fat, ok? I don't need to be reminded.
050227
...
bea I have achieved so much, why can't I achieve this?

I have never wanted anything for so long or so much.

What is it about me that makes me this way?

Why aren't I perfect yet?
050227
...
bea next time someone asks me why I don't have a boyfriend, I'm going to tell the truth. "Because I'm fat."

I don't want to go out with a fat guy, why should I expect anyone to go out with me?
050227
...
minnesota_chris can you say why you are fat? 050227
...
bea Basic physiological reasons? Because I don't eat well enough and don't exercise enough.

Deep-seated psychological reasons? No idea.
050227
...
trox fat is fat and that is that and i am that but i am we so we are fat damnit ill just sayit im a philosiphy studieing fat 13 year old geek 050411
...
dafremen "i'm actually furious that no one will drive me there, so i can't get the use out of the money i'm paying, just to shed a little weight."

(Notice how walking or taking the bus aren't options for this tubby person. No..they must RIDE. Can anyone say...clue?)

You gotta wanna lose it to lose it. REALLY want it, like a starving Hindu wants fish heads and rice.
050412
...
Rx i feel that i am, but i know it is just a little, but does it really matter when u having someting better on the inside or would it matter to lose it and have both and still be the same person? or if you love on u gain another? 050501
...
anne-girl i loathe it when people insult people cause they're fat
probably because i am... but it just seems so, gah
"fat bitch", they say of the security guard
sure, she's gigantic. So what? She's mean too, but the two things aren't related... stupid people.
sighs
course, i assume people are stupid just because they're pretty and popular
shows what i know
050702
...
Jo I am extremely underweight..no sites explain the ways to put on body fat...they all talk about losing wight and supplements...I need some meet on the bone...If anyone has any ideas to help me it would be greatly appreciated by me and my doctor...Thanx! :-) 050722
...
hsg ntagatf 050723
...
belle de jour I am a skinny girl. Not thin. Skinny. Hate me all you want, I love it. 050824
...
anagirl The ultimate enemy. I'd rather be dead than fat. I'd rather be completely evil. 051222
...
non id rather be alive than fat.

pro262
060513
...
2step some fat guys at my school are cute that way. 060821
...
bea I am fat.
I look at photos of me and I hate what I see.

I hope one day to look at a photo and be happy.
060822
...
ss then go ride a bicycle. fast. practice veganism. u don't have to be perfect at it, just try. get better. u will become less disgusting. u might even get to watch ur great grandkids grow up or even ur kids for that matter. it's just your fat that's disgusting. not you. 061109
...
askljgslkjhlk My stepmom thinks I'm fat.
She calculated my BMI. She told me it was considered overweight. I did it myself and it said I was in the normal range. Perhaps she lied.

She's always praising me, saying I look like I'm losing weight. Well I'm not. She thinks if she encourages me I'll get skinny. I don't want to.

I used to make myself throw up. I used to starve myself. I lost 30 pounds. Nobody seemed to notice except my stepmom. She was happy for me. After that, my body wouldn't lose any more weight. Then I started loving myself. I was comfortable with my body, though I was still chubby around my thighs and arms.

Now she's making me go back to that state of mind. I felt good when I was losing weight...I want to feel good again.
071202
...
Bree Me thinks I am. Though a friend of mine told me it was "just my build", then she said i had a "ripple effect" going on around my stomach area. Nice friend huh? 080206
...
daf Appropriate Response:

"Speaking of fat..I haven't eaten all day and there's nothing in the house. You aren't allergic to mustard are you?"
080207
...
taf Did we lose any fat yet? 130603
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from