fat_guys_with_class Dafremen ME!! That's right ME!! I faced my weight problem head-on and stopped the habits of a lifetime from making me a slave to my own low-self esteem. I kept my head up and took the beating that diet and exercise had waiting for me, came out the other side with my head up, gut in, chest out. I beat the demons that have been beating me all of my life. There are more to be sure...but after years of slow death spiral, I'm turning that fall into a glide and sooner or later I'll be soaring. Why SHOULD I let my vices become my masters? Why SHOULD I let my guilt for my actions induce me to repeat them? Why should I let the fear of short-term discomfort rob me of a life-time of happiness? How much time? How much? Tell me...how much do we have here? How much more? You don't know either? WHEW! So it ISN'T just me. It's going to end though and when it does....what comes next? I believe I know, and so do many others...but really...tell me with some degree of certainty that DOESN'T hinge on faith. Oh you can't either? Well sh*t then...this could be all there is for a long time...maybe even forever and I'm supposed to spend it wallowing in my misery, or attempting to mask it by joining the growing numbers of fellow lard-asses who would rather REINVENT society so that they can sit on their butts, stuff their faces AND have people believe that it's ok because they "can't help it?" So you're happy because we accept your fatness? Great...admit it then..say it's too much work to lose it. It's too much sacrifice and I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't see the gain for the pain, so I gave up. Don't for a second think that sitting down and crying about your circumstances and your low self esteem entitles you to a "get out of the consequences of your inaction free" card. It doesn't, it entitles you to say "screw what they say, I've decided I want to be this way". It entitles you to not have to defend your weight because if you are TRULY happy this way then someone mentioning it, no matter how tactlessly shouldn't hurt so much should it? I'm an opinionated big mouth jerk...folx tell me so all the time cuz they think that it is wrong of me to be this way. Trust me, I'm not losing any sleep OR gaining any weight over it, and I certainly haven't "stepped up" my jerkish behavior as a result of it. I'm not running around trying to get everyone to understand why it's WRONG to call me names and disrespect me,(Cue pathetic excuses to get people off of my back and let me continue being a jerk) it's not my fault, I don't possess much tact...see I was a poor abandoned orphan who went through a looong string of foster homes and noone ever wanted to keep me and as a result(cue violins playing in the background) I have a low self esteem and I LASH out at the world. (Violins become an entire string section) Then, to make matters worse, I have Attention Deficit Disorder, and we're talking FULL BLOWN ADD. (Cue woodwinds and brass.) I'm impulsive and have had more trouble than you could imagine because of my inability to control what I say. The really horrible thing about it is: It's genetic )boo hoo sob sob( I can't do anything about it...so you'll all just have to show some compassion. Show a little kindness for gawd sakes people...how can you be so cruel to a poor opinionated tactless jerk who can't help the way that he is? Aren't the indignities that society has heaped upon me for my past and my disorder enough? Wasn't the disappointing school experience, the high school dropout stigma and the cries of "lazy" "stubborn" "irresponsible" enough? Weren't all of the failed relationships and snooty little eye rolls when I mention my ADD enough? (Cue Timpani...and...now.) Well actually, I just chose for many years not to medicate. I hate the way I feel on Ritalin, it's a chemical lobotomy. So I have a choice to make EVERY day: Do something about my problem or face the consequences for NOT doing something about my problem. Every day it's MY decision, I'm happy with who I am and what I'm not happy with, I will change. No one SHOULD treat overweight people like crap, but they do. That's a reality that isn't going away anytime soon, and perhaps it shouldn't. People shouldn't grab things that folx leave out either...but they do. Why is it that the idiot is always the guy who left his stuff OUT? Why isn't it just understood that taking someone's things out of their yard is wrong? Why can't we respect the man's right to be who he is on his property as long as he's willing to face the consequences? I don't know...most folx don't say it, but they think it. The greater the likelihood that your stuff will get lifted if you leave it out, the more likely that you will be perceived as naive, or a fool for leaving your stuff out, and the moment your stuff gets lifted, you can guarantee that "I told you so", and "he had it coming" are on a lot of lips. Sad but true. He should put his stuff away or accept what he KNOWS are the possible consequences if he doesn't. Hair shouldn't be flammable, but it is. What POSSIBLE reason could there be for hair to be flammable? None, but it is...and we can either fight that fact all of our lives and suffer the searing consequences or do something proactive to avoid them. (Keeping flame away from our hair is a good start.) All of the wishing it weren't so isn't going to make that go away. When you're overweight, you know TOO well the consequences of being overweight to deny that you are aware of them. If you continue to accept your obesity by not doing something to change it, then you accept the consequences of that obesity right along with the lifestyle. A little compassion...is all that you're asking for? Compassion? For what? For your misery? Your loneliness? You got it...really...it IS lonely it is miserable being a huge mishapen lump of misunderstood, insecure, lonely human being. I empathize...I care enough to want you OFF of your ass and enough to not let yourself die like this. I'm with you...don't whine at me about what you did wrong today or what's wrong with you or the horrible way the world treats you...that's what got you here in the first place. It is hard, the world is cruel. It's a lot of work losing weight. You ARE worth it! You can make it! I AM on your side and I do want the best for you. I will not help you delude yourself...recognize this for what it is: The sign of someone who REALLY cares about you and what happens to you. Kissing your huge ass and tiptoeing around your feelings (for as long as you choose to give up on yourself) serves only to PROLONG the agony that I desperately would like to see you escape. Society is not changing it's ways so that you can give up on yourself. Any cold, tactless, tasteless, insensitive words which flow from my fingers to your eyeballs will hopefully serve as a reminder of that fact. I care deeply for you my big bellied brethren and sofa sized sistren, too deeply to be an accomplice in this cruel hoax that some like to call compassion. ("Accept them for who they are...not what they look like.") I'm sorry but, do you REALLY think that who they are is who they want to be? Is that all that you want for them? A lifetime trapped in an over-sized prison of fat that has the added advantage of attracting the best insults and indignities that society has to offer? Boy you really DO have compassion for the obese DONTCHA? Accept them for who they are, sounds good to you HUH skinny "compassionate" people? Gives you a distinct advantage over them in most social situations if they stay huge, doesn't it? Less competition? Or have you deluded yourselves into thinking that making them feel good about being fat is more important than helping them out of the PRISON that is being fat? That helping them to live a lie is more important than helping them to live their dreams? Like the pretty girl with the ugly friend. It makes you FEEL better that you are so COMPASSIONATE and kind to your fellow human beings. Ohhh wonderful compassionate you. ("Here Susan, I brought you a twinkie and lounged on the couch yacking with your 350 pound ass because I care about you and accept you for who you are.") To that this once 210lb 5'6" classy ass mofo sez: Fuck you very much for the pity, but you can keep it. I'm with you fat_chicks_with_class and fat_guys_with_class...with a good chunk of my heart I am and THAT ain't no lie. But being classy means getting off of yer ass and not making excuses. Shoot yourself in the head with a bullet, in the arm with a needle, in the mouth with fo0d...it's all the same, killing yourself cuz you can't take reality is not now nor has it EVER been a classy thing to do. And you will never find out how classy you REALLY are until you get up and find out how classy you can really be and how STRONG your classy-ass has always been when you weren't looking. I'm here for you, that is NOT just lip service: Anyone that wants to tell me about your progress, about your ideas for burning more and taking in less...about something that you feel PROUD of yourself for...no matter how insignificant it may seem...I'd love to hear it and I'll walk with you through this...together. dafremen@hotmail.com (Whining will be ignored and blocked. Negative reporting is self defeating, don't even think it, and if you do...don't share it with me. Emphasize the good positive things. Find them, they're always there.) Just don't give up...EVER...and you've got a fan right here and respect aplenty...no matter how long it takes to find out who you REALLY are. Until we know that...who would I REALLY be "accepting for who they are?" Just a shadow of who you are, with low self-esteem and no way to get more except through someone else's well-intentioned "compassion"? Ain't the REAL you...that's for sure. I did it!! I started and I never stopped...never looked back. Woohoo that's classy enough to meet my requirements. Oh and Orson Welles.. 011012 ... Dafremen Still no takers...guess misery loves company. From the look of things it should have plenty. 011026 ... silentbob Jack Black 011026 ... niki Kevin Smith 011026 ... Dafremen So now Southwest airlines is starting to charge the Tubby_Ones for the extra space that they take up. Good for them. You avoid the pain of getting off of your ass, you seek the pleasure of sitting on it and stuffing yourself. (For some reason it's easier to weather emotional pain than physical pain, so you put up with the titters and smirks of the socially unconscious. Go figure.) Meanwhile, I'm walking 5 - 10 miles a day and eating less when I exercise less...eating more when I exercise more. End result...yea you guessed it, still 164 pounds and holding. Every night when I weigh myself I thank my stars that I got off of my ass finally. It's a wonderful life...now please take your sweaty belly roll off of my knee and return your seatback to the upright position like everyone else. Thank you. 020623 ... Dafremen Gawd I wish more fat folx had actually read this. Best damned friend they ever had and not a taker in the house. Guess bulimia is easier to take with you on a date. 030707 ... silentbob loves you simplify. 030708 ... Dafremen You ever notice how the editor could trim something down to its basics? I've said this before, but I'll say it again: Where IS that guy when you need him. (Someone to trim the fat if you'll forgive/enjoy the pun.)(Circle one) 030708 ... maxell J. Pierpont Morgan. Now there was a man of mirthless girth. Ungorving in his quest for power and imposing his idea of fiscal prudense and order upon everything. 040712 ... maxell "unforgiving in his ceaseless quest to impose fiscal order and prudense upon.." 040712 what's it to you? who go blather from