predetermined sphinxradio i hope not! i like the idea that i can control the course of my life. even though i know i'll only drive myself insane by thinking that i might choose the wrong path to take so many decisions too many parallel worlds to choose from. let's just window-shop for now. 011104 ... unhinged the outcome is always predetermined i should write out my prediction next time and see how close it really is i wonder if anyone would bet me money on it 020217 ... futility I was 12 when I learned about predestination. Absurd, I thought. I threw the words into the wind, watched them float away up the canyon. How's that for choice, I thought. Now, though, I am not so sure. I imagine that I'm a puzzle piece, looking for my space. Maybe there is a hand up above guiding me. The thought of guiding, I can handle. The lack of free will, I can't. 020218 ... The F>U>C>K SOciety If i write my thoughts out loud will anyone read them? I guess we will see. They say that your personality is basically set by adulthood and the person you are, well, only little changes can be made over long periods of time. So who i am is predetermined simply by the way i was in the past? So my past determines my future? So what the fuck am i doing then. wasting my time and everyone else's. i can't change and so why try everyday to be a different person. what would happen if I gave a giant "fuck off" to the world and just be as i am now? What if i just accepted this shady blob that i am? What will happen? Predetermination. fuck you! Fuck you, man! To all of the fake shit around me and inside me. Fuck you! To all the judgment and condemnation that i am so afraid of. Fuck you! To all the shit that piles up around me and my failing in love. Fuck you! To all who put down people to stand o top of them so that you can be taller. Fuck you! Predestination. bull shit!!!!!!! Fuck you! Fuck you all! I am not made of jello you fuckers,. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! Fuck offffffff!!!!! Fuckers!!!!!!! well... with all of that said here is something you don't hear often. You are just as much shit as you think you are. No... that wasn't original at all. I can do better... ah! nevermind. Fuck you 2. If i can only be this, this have a man, this ooze flowing and drowning the life around it, this puss-filled extension of a soul, then let my face rot and my body be burned and vultures feast on my mutilated carcass because i have no use for this shit. I can't pretend anymore. I can't live this way and i'M SORRY FOR ALL OF YOU THaT WILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS. I AM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 070213 what's it to you? who go blather from