oldephebe jane and i just can't believe you write with such passion thank you for your lack of inhibition for adding your self to bl_a_th_e_r i look forward to reading more of your work 030708 ... endless desire er yes, ditto. write more so i may have the honor of reading :) 030708 ... oldephebe umm i'm not really comfortable with exaltation or praise and yeah really not trying to sound falsly flattered here (struck stone gushing brightly) thanx i have been honored to have sipped your soul water streams, to have waded into these glorious realms of rhetoric i will write i will write you will write jane will write the spork will write mon will write ashmanzhou will write endless desire and jane will write we will all write and plait our streams together 030709 ... random blatherskite #33 how would one go about getting in touch with you? 030709 ... oldephebe umm you just did okay maybe i'm so completely obtuse that i can't fathom the implications of your question speak when spoken to i'm broken too bass CLAP! UMPH UMPH CLAP! i try to be rigorously reticent umph umph CLAP! then cymbal shimmer umph rimshot! repeat and rinse your query it's scary and maybe .... blah (rest) bass clap see i have this tendancy to be digressive it's agressive to hide the secrect throbbing places wha what so meet me here a minute to midnight and ah i'd say you just did and then i hid purring pleonasms and then i gather a disposable rain poncho i use it to protect myself from the spatter no past no pain so what's the matter some say put away your crying cloth stop sagging like a shack where's the bass where's the CLAP where's the cymbal shimmer there's an old ghost of my fallen youth shrieking in the corner of a fallen sky cue the haunting choral breaths more subtly now umph clap and bring the bossa nova whole notes of plaintive AAHH .. AAHH a quorum of tsks huddled i saw my innocence die a thousand times i'm a man made of misery you're probably better off not knowing me (shudders at the cliche) so i saw my innocece die a thousand times i intern it - it rises again i exhume it- it dies again i burn it - and then blame it on my friends so what was your question? no i really mean what was your question cause aren't we all getting in touch with one another right now? and yes - NOW - is relative all these temporal eddies plot points of perception i'm trying not to be a bitter captive to my brokeness i try really not be always with the furrowed brow but i carry the cloud (where is this estuary going?) so i guees i'll see you later in this page or in some other realm of blather and now ... warm light permeating everything 030709 ... oldephebe like i said sometimes i swing sometimes i miss for jane and E.D. you asked for more of the incontinence cue door closing 030709 ... endless desire mmmmm loves the smell of good poetry. 030709 ... oldephebe who are you random blatherskite 33? what name do you normally post or blathe under? wait am i being intrusive here? it's just my pinwheel pschedelic personality but still ... i'm curious have i read your blathes before? not unctiously asking but kind of intrigued but it would take a lot to breath on these slow dying embers. oldephebe abashedly inserts this parenthetical interposition: note all standard inferences to psychedelic should inhere except for the one suggesting psychosis - i'm an inocuous eccentric - relentless inner critic: okay really that was just totally superfluous and suggests a negative inference where none has neccessarily been made or will be made - random blatherskite 33 is now totally disabused of any inclination to "get in touch" with me oldephebe it's 4 o'clock in the morning and the air outside is dying i'm waiting for the dawn to dapple me anew i'm waiting for the lions empty roar in three hours i'll head out the door and try to look brave against the day its yawning maw there are so many things in me still unstirred and yet i wonder at the edges in the places in me i look askance at wake me up break me up inside the dying light in loves cathedral it's still there in me bits of broken glass every fucking time i b r e a t h where is my holy ardor now? where are my avowals to heaven where is my piety my enolbling invigorating faith can't you see my stigmata stop asking me what's the matter madness and hate run amok in the world where are my jaunty alliterations, where's the wit and the whimsy child of blight child of blight i've been saying that since the age of 12 diachotomy and i don't care if i didn't spell it right diurnal - two suns in the sky where are all my exhortations now? you pretty perfect petty little thing yeah i've got a penchant for p's let me scour out my mind with some really rigorous affirmations mend this tenement of death fold myself into a fetal prayer God will still find me He always does oh how sweetly i expire i am not sure if i am done or if th 030710 ... anonymoussixteen alright, dont worry, I lost my interest in emailing you or contacting you in any other way. peace 030710 ... oldephebe well i have to say i'm not relieved or crestfallen see i didn't really direct most of that at you or anyone else - most of my blathes kind of become unmoored and just begin their own journey most of that was like i said elswhere an enfilade of arrows hurled into my sighing heart see i've got my self esteem burnished to a retinal scarring brilliance - so i've got to do something to blunt my inordinate self confidence, look i hope you like what you read and i look forward to reading more of your stuff anonymous sixteen God i'm somewhat embarrassed because i really didn't expect anyone to read my crisis catharsis i just sprawled my spirit right out there ... time to extricate myself from this crucifix constriction more aggressivley positive affirmations to come hey look i'm being flippant and needlessly alliterative again warm light beggining to permeate e v e r y t h i n g AAAH an eclesiastical AAAH ... 030710 ... oldephebe for jane and endless desire or anyone else who might happen upon this blathe like i said sometimes i swing and sometimes i miss but i'm learning to trust what jane and endless and few others have kindly said ... 030710 ... . "*__*" 030714 ... oldephebe *growls a gray hymm to diminishing potentialities/possibilites* ..is fatalism a kind of fundamentalism for the age of dessiccated compassion? and is fatalism like inevitable in an age of an effete culture being propogated and slingshot out and masquerading as this kind of meta-culture? Are all the arguments we make against it's inexorable and ineluctable progression and then our eventual subsumation into its'lurid maw are they as impotent as say a gnat swimming on the surface of some pretty viscuous tang and trying to extricate itself from its cloying clinging clasp? Is this exodus away from ourselves into a vapid and vacuous exterior, does it presage the preparation of our aching empty hearts for some new plunderer to gyrate some new apostacy into our ears? Does the or this construct the apparatus we percieve as the physical universe beholden to all these rigorously researched and nearly quantified, substantiated laws - does that constitute our certainty, our faith in the forensic. ..not exactly having a crucible of faith thing here just musing .. 030724 ... oldephebe well, I'm just all out of words for today and who cares? I liked most of what I read today. here's a random thread - never and I mean never concede or abdicate your sovreignity - never ever allow yourself to become the vassal to someones' vanity. *tips vintage maroon Phillies cap at Daf peace, be well 030806 ... oldephebe In the world of brick and mortar -Sometimes I feel like a Black phantom foraging for the light - and sometimes I'm just looking for something to kill the fire in my mind - and sometimes the Light finds me, in my sarcophagus of the sad - sometimes the light lays cold and dead upon me - opening every imperfection, an unflattering illumination - the house of Reason sometimes is a stifling place for me - the acoutrements of argumentation, the demagogues who erect these spectacular contrivances, and sometimes I catch myself engaged in this dishonest enterprise - sometimes I impale myself upon artifice - and then I hold my petulance up to the mirror - the searing clarity of conscience - buffets me back into sobriety, thrown from my spire, all a man has is his code -period I'm enjoying my brief time in blather - it's invigorating - it's an endless linguistic act or transaction. Read some pretty cool things today. "I paid for the little pink pill so why don't I feel any better?" heh heh superimpose the random it makes such sweet dissonance - yea what - ever And I mark each day with a black pebble. So he said "Doc do I meet the criterion for a perfectionists OCD or OPD?" And the Doctor his face fixed in that banal professional expression of withering tolerance - condescension, crossed his legs clad in courderoy, the real thick kind that makes that odd swish sound whenever he walks (briskly always briskly exuding that crisp and yet simultaneously detached professional demeanor - answers saying "Niether Ira your inherent sloveliness and your IQ hovering just around an unremarkable 99 pretty much excludes you from that esteemed classification of disorders" Blather! Blather! Blather! Mirabilia! Mirabilia! Mirabilia! Let ill will be absent from all our words - impossible later 030808 ... oldephebe nothing to really to add today there was a fire in my local movie theatre no one was hurt now i've got take this really circuitous root to get to a decent movie theatre read some really persuasive arguments today - no not the petty contentions of recent - I'm talking argument of a persons being, the holding forth of a single soul on the state of his/her heart - enjoyed most of it even a few blathes about dreams gave me a few goose bumps just waiting for this spate of insomnia to subside I'm discovering so many enchanting souls here in blather or at least enchanting projections of anonymous souls a side of a side of that hydra headed chimera we all carry inside of us hey, its too boring being pliant and simple, complexity and exasperating polarities of personhood a good thing never ever ever accept an external authority as your governing authority never ever allow anyone to dictate the terms of your argument with my mouth with my heart with my entire being I have shaped a new thing with each breath I have gouged it out of the air standing in the spiritual spaces of so many soul streams - drinking in their beautiful words - Boy do I love blather peace 030810 ... -> Dear oldephebe, I must confess that sometimes I don't read all of your blathes. What I do read I love, but sometimes it is too long for me and I cannot understand. Sometimes the words are long and I feel stupid for not getting it. (you've made me a big fan of dictionary.com) Your words are beautiful. They are honest, in a way most people would never dare to be. And it awes me that you have complimented things I've written. It is, better then so many things I could name. I can't write with the same passion and power that always floods your words, but I wanted to thank you for appreciating me and I wanted to let you know, that I am awed and inspired by you. A Blatherskite and all their pseudonyms 030828 ... oldephebe *oldephebe's slightly austistic heart is pricked by your beautiful words - and ah not really sure if my random discourses on the idosynacratic - and six degrees of solipstistic me can be called beautiful or powerful - geez i'm just striving to be coherent - and yeah my blathes are wow sometimes really long - i'm languishing in the land of of trying really hard not to be dissolved into wantoness, right now - began bumping into an old flame she of the intoxicating aura - i'm standing my ground though - trying to be as obtuse and opaque as possible when i run into her - wow so anyway - oh anonymous writer i will honour your psuedonym or privacy - if i praised your writing then it must have been beautiful - and it doesn't matter who you are, i just hope i ge the chance to read more of your shimmering soul streams -* ---------------------------------------- gee i switched from the third person to the first person - and again somewhere a legion of stringent grammarians is taping my likeness to a dart board and hurling finely hewed pins at my picture and punctuating each salvo with a litany of my egregious lapses - take that! improper use of semi colon, run on sentence! that's for shifting tense in mid-sentence - on and on it goes impaling my picture with pins - okay thank you so very much for your glowing words - sometimes i'm still really unsure if my words are reaching people - what with all the lurching through a sea of amber - um like i said to endless i think it's not so much about me or my words i your words to me say more about your heart - later ... 030828 ... pipedream *hugs oldephebe* 030829 ...