sabbie because she's so freaking bored at work
she might disapear into nothingness

she might do that anyway
but at least she'll take your questions with her
to see god.

dear god
pats for your earlier efforts
but you've been slacking off recently.

give back spidy's van
and laptop
and stop frigging about.

at your age, it's just undignified.

much love
mon a me ...which two colours in the alphabet
..would you take with you,.. the land of black and white?,..

!please and thankyou!
sabbie which two colours of the alphabet whould i take with me?

well, if the land of black and white was built by the same people who built photoshop, then any colour that i took would be converted to greyscale, and that would ruin the whole thing. however, i choose not to believe this, so...

i would take the alpabetical colours of omega, which is a shimmering metalic bug green, and hydrigeion, which is kind of see-through blue and kind of star-like orangeshiny.

but because i am feeling contrary today, i would not gift them out but sell them.
for five bucks a pop.

pop goes the weasel
and the pope breathed a sign of release.
sabbie thank you,
thank you.

mon pretty! 040128
sabbie statement!
one love.
Whitechocolatewalrus So if the ocean is blue because it reflects the sky, why is the sky blue? 040128
sabbie because it has no-one to play with.

sabbie or, if you feel ripped off with that answer, you may have this one.

the ocean and the sky are actually caught in a para-dimentional rift that makes them mirror opposites while being actually the same thing.

so the sky is the sea in another world, but it hasn't come through properly, so we can see it but not touch or feel it.
go outside toniight and look up at the stars. you're looking at another world somewhere, out there, and the stars are that world sun, glinting off the water of the night.

walrie thank you! 040128
sabbie statement!

two love
birdmad have the maggies delivered any particularly nasty swoops to anyone lately and if not do they need any encouragement 040128
sabbie even though there is no question marks in that jumble of words my good 'bird, i will answer it as though there were.

not that i know of, although a bunch of brick fences ganged up on me the other day, and a workmate was telling me of a time that a friend of his was shat on by a pelican. it was a messy affair.

you should have seen the scratches.

anything that is vicious, violent, unexpected and results in bloodshed should _always_ been encouraged.

so i say yes.

yes indeedy.

misstree what kind of dance does your universe do? salsa, swing, waltz, glowstick mania, booty hump, gawffick "lost the contact" swoop, twirlingtwirlingtwirling, or other? 040129
u24 why is ice seethrough, but snow white, and rain grey? 040129
sabbie ok, my world at the moment does not dance so much as you know when you're way, way, WAY too drunk and the whole world is spinning without consulting you about it?

a chaotic whirling maelstrom that constantly keeps me off balance and slamming into walls.

like trying to walk down a hallway from a tim burton film.

whirling dervish trance,
possession by the gods kind of dance

my lungs are burning
my head is churning

and i'm dizzy as all hell.

and yet, my dance card appears to be empty.
sabbie ice can be see through, but so can windsheilds.

if you catch them right.

i caught bits of her windshield
she shook her hair
and fragments of her windshield
flew out

and she thought it just like living in a snowdome.

the glass she took from under her skin
she held up to the light
and they glinted red, around the green
and made her think of mermaids singing
and she sat under a tree
as the twisted metal wreck behind her
pinged as it cooled
and the slight groans trailed away into silence
for the last time
and she held the tiny square of glass up to her eye
to see the fragment of the world it held.

with sun this bright
there are no clouds
there is no rain
there was never any snow

and the colours all around her
were bright yellow
bright orange
as the tank caught alight
and she was consumed into the roaring mindless hunger
of just another bushfire.

they'll never find that now.
they'll never find them now.
the only thing that's left of them
is this.

and it's not real.
realistic optimist i've admired your writing from afar, but i chose to take this chance to interact with the sabbietron 3000.

i have been trying to figure out then next step of my life for about 6 years. i am still unsure, but feel a pressing need to do SOMETHING, even if it is the wrong something. however, i have an equally pressing feeling that if i settle for something i don't particularly care for, i will be stuck with that something for a long time, and will regret my decision.

and now... the question:

waiting is... until fullness


a decision in time saves nine?
sabbie bollix to the old maid sayings, go with the sooth sayers.

oricles and sooth sayers have always been considered Touched by God, or indeed The Gods, because if you have a direct line to the divine, you're going to go insane. that's just too much information built of light for any human meat to hold.

so take what i am abouit to say and do with it what you will. i'm thinking it'll make nice canapes.


leap now.

leap feet first into something
into anything

once you land, look around and then try to figure out how you'rte going to get out.

don't be paralised by indecision.
get out there and do something.

you can always change your mind if stuff's not working out.
you can always change direction, even mid stride. ok, you might wobble a bit, and you may well fall over, but you can always pick yourself back up and head off.

make a decision. follow it through untill it no longer fits you.
then make another desicion.

repeat ad nasuim for the rest of your life.

you are not condemed to the consequences of one choice for the rest of your life. you can always change your mind.
nothing is ever carved in stone
and even if it was
stone can be broken into rubble
rubble breaks down into gravel
gravels breaks down into sand
sand breaks down into dirt
dirt breaks down into fine dust

and you can always, always mix water with any of these products
and build your house anew.

every day you make life changing decisions.
every decision you make changes your life, even jsut a little.

so go out and do it some more.

here today gone tommorrow why is it so? 040129
sabbie that one i truly havn't figured out yet. but i look to the world for clues
as i type this there comes the squeel of tyres outside my window, and the crash of glass
[the crass of class]
"there is no war but class war" my train station proclaims
and who am i to argue?
today i did the second bravest thing in my life,
or indeed i could say
i re-did the bravest thing ive ever had to do
and now i'm having pizza.
pizza is a brave and celebratory food, it was fist discovered by the inca mafia under the ruins of a temple so old that not even their alien gods knew of it's origins.
and every couple of days
every week or so
i re-create this ritual
by walking into a pizza shop
and re-discovering pizza.

soppy, wet pagans might attempt drawing down the moon
but i have the true ritual to the divine
to happiness

and it involves marrying dough to mushed up tomatos and other assorted sliced vegetables, thickened milk products and any type of ovencular heatage.

if meat is murder
then dairy is theft
and if all possession is theft
and possession is 9/10s of the law
then i say
that its the law
that i should possess
more pizza.

x i like your reasoning but i ordered a rather tasty dairy-free pizza last night

i wondered if you had any opinions on how one should know if one is in a place to date or not, or if one should decide at all.
sabbie hello my good x, i find this morning i have many things to say on this matter.

firstly, to see if on is in a place to date or not, one must look around oneself. if one finds people around that one finds attractive, one is probably in a good place to date.
if, on the other hand, the only things around one have faces like pigs arses with ebola, then one is probably not in the right place to date, and i would strongly suggest you pack and and move towns.

now, once you find a good place stacked with people your underpants find interesting, there is another matter to take into consideration.

dating was first discovered on the 11th of december, 1923, when a particually bold young lady by the name of billy waltzed up to a boy doing the charlston and asked him if he would like to accompany her for a walk down the river.

unfortuntaly, once they were down there she pulled a big knife on him and proceeded to carve him into small pieces to feed to the fish, as she was conducting an experement to see if she could breed a race of ferocious man-eating fish better than the ones god tried out in the amazon.

as far as the stories go, she's still at it.

however, that little hiccup aside, people thought this was a smashing idea, the asking out of other people onto dates you understand, not the carving up of the aformentioned people, although there is a smaller group of fans of the second choice. one of them jsut got sentanced in germany to 15 years, and was dragged from the dock screaming that billy was right and must have been inspired by god, all those years ago.

but i digress.


ok, since dating has only been around for 101 years, and people have been around for a big bunch more than that, we all have to go out dating as much as possible, to make up for lost time.

the history of the world is awaiting you.
all the deadites who have gone before are relying on you.

so go, my child, go out and make us dusty olduns proud...

and bring me back some wine.

u24 does the world change, or do we change? 040201
sabbie bah, that one is easy.

since the only way i can experience the world is through my sences, through my eyes, through my touch, my smell, my taste, all computed into my brain, and since everyone is different and you cannot see things through my eyes, nor feel the world through my fingers, then the world i expierence can in no way be the world you expereince, and therefore because i am the only one experiencing it, the world is mine alone.

and since the only way i can experience the world is through me, then if i change, the world changes by nessesity. thus we change our individual worlds each time we change ourselves.

there is not one world, no matter how many fuzzy charity companies try to tell you that.

there are a million worlds all almost touching. and if you change, or your world changes, it is the same thing.

because it all comes back to


u24 perfect. thankyou.

next question:

blah-ze do you know any ways to amuse yourself alone in a semidark room bored outa your mind for six hours a day (technology out the window)? 040201
sabbie the answer to mice is cats.

or rats.
or chickens and moths
dead bones in the desert
and the earth has a secret it needs to tell
the earth is yelling
but the noise is too big
we think it's the wind
someone in ancient greece said that when it rains
it's the gods pissing on us

the gods urine
smells divine

i had a friend who bought the wrong size
ended up with rat traps for his pesky unwanted kitchen mice
the first time it caught one
the pressure was so great
that the little mouse's eyeballs poped out
and shot accross the floor.

in conclusion, i point you in the direction of any MP3 you can find of jello_biafra and no means no with their song Chew.

its about rats eating new york, and its rather good.
sabbie if your technology is out the window, young blah-ze, then leaning out to play with it could become quite precarious, although i am curious to see your setup - is it on one of those window washers platforms? or just bolted to the outside of the building?
how do you stop it getting wet when it rains?
is it waterproof?

as to your actual question, i think the most fun way to entertain yourself when in a semi dark room for long periods at a time is to go insane.

fluros aside, it's what i do at work.

that or throw stuff randomly.
that always keeps me entertained till i get in trouble for it.

so go forth, entertain yourself and report back.

nomme sab rhymes with fab?
or babe?
like stab?
dumb question? sorry.
sabbie there are no dumb questions, only people who cannot be arsed taking questions seriously.
i take all questions very seriously. it's in my contract.

wow. sabe to rhyme with babe... how grand. it sounds all exotic and mysterious.
sabe was actually the first angels, before all the rest. just as adam had two wives before eve - the first was lillith, or lilith, and the second is only mentioned in one book i've ever heard of, she was only half formed and never had a name, god actually made a first angel before he started sprogging out all the ones people in long flowy, badly dyed clothing know and contact today. sabe was formed partly of god stuff and partly of sabe stuff, she was her own creation. and god stood back and thought 'well fuck me, how good is she?", however, this was edited out of the later versions of the bible as they didn't think it was terribly poetic, but god wasn't speaking to his people, he was jsut alone in my workshop, and when we are alone sometimes we come out with the most amazing things we wish other people would have heard, and sometimes we're just talking for us. god isn't always at his most eloquent, and who is, but luckily he has a big bunch of admiring and helpful editors. so god made sabe and sabe made herself and god was most chuffed but sabe was pretty unkeen to clean god's stove, which he didn't really want to do either, and thus the first group house dispute arose. then, when the question of rent did arise, sabe went - that's it, i'm outta here. thanks heaps for all the creation and stuff, bt i think its time we went out seperate ways. don't feel too bad, these things happen and here, have this nifty housepet i just created, and sabe handed god a rather suprised looking platypus. now god got grumpy, becuase lo, it was a nifty housepet, and god wished he had of thought of it first. this is why there is no mention of platypuii in the bible, because god doesn't like to be reminded that making animals wasn't strictly his idea to start with. so sabe left, with a winning smile, which is why god spend the old testament lookin' so grumpy, and so god decided to change the design a bit before he started creating the next ones.

of course, he still didn't get it quite right, as some of the later created angels did fallith, however historians have long suspected that sabe had something to do with that.

other historians argue that sabe went on to a long and glorious career as a goddess under a different name, and although this is only whispered in darkened lecturers offices in the middle of the night, they do say that there is only one goddess in the entire human pantheon that fits the mould of being able to come up with the platypus. well, alright, two if you count her roman persona.

however, my dear nomme, as 'sab' rhymes with 'lab' and as we have already established that 'sabbie' rhymes with 'stabbie', i'm afraid it wasn't

time_warp what do you think is the most romantic murder weapon? 040203
sabbie having a huge boquet of red roses with large thorns being shoved down one's throat

of course, i'm also always good with anything that causes plenty of blood spill too.

second_hand when is pain only skin deep?

how does gore make art?
megan am i too clingy?
will i be ok when i go off to college?
how long does it take to get from here to there?
how could i get my poetry published?
sabbie when is pain only skin deep... that's a tricky one. i've been sitting here thinking about it for a while. technically, pain is registered by nerves, and nerves are under the skin. so all pain goes deeper than the skin, because if it was only skin deep it wouldnt be registered by the nerves and thus wouldnt be pain.

they have done studies to find that physical pain and emotional pain are in the same spot in the brain, so emotional pain is deeper than the skin too, as it is created in your heart and your head.

so when is pain only skin deep?
when it isnt pain.

as to gore being art...
beauty, unlike pain, might only be skin deep
but art cuts right to the bone.

anything cut is going to bleed
and blood is beautiful.

if pain can be art, and there does run a theory that all art stems from pain, but then all artists are also touted as being butt poor, and that is never so much fun, gore is merely a visual reperesetation of pain.

and people find gore fascinating, no matter how they protest. people are fascinated by that which they cannot see - take god and inside scoops as two prime examples. gore is a secret, exposed to the world. and it's your secret, and it's my secret. everyone has the same secret inside them, and its not one they can explore their own. but you can explore other peoples secrets.

might i suggest a sharp knife, a dark alley, bring a touch, you're not going to want to miss this...let me teach you something about other people.

as an aside, gore as theatre has it's own movement - grand guignol
gore as art
otterpup how much do you know that i love you? 040203
sabbie dear megan,
i have never found you too clingy.
so dont stress there.

as to your other questions - having never met you, i shall merrily make this shit up.

the college will be fine, you will be much changed for it, but all change is good change because the opposite of change is stagnation and then stuff goes mouldy and dies.
or dies and goes mouldy. so stopping is never any good, becuase that way everything chasing you catches up with you, beats you intoa bloody pulp and nicks your lunch money.

how long does it take? it'll take the rest of your life and stuill you wont have finsihed. but don't let that get to you. at least you'll always have something to do.
somewhere to go
something to head towards.

and as to how to get your poetry published, well, you're doing it right now, here on blather.
lets all hear it for blather.
give it up for blather
givin' up for blather
never gunna
give up

no reason dear sabbie,

how, how, how, does one go about making a choice?
sabbie yeah, i know otterpup
someone carved it into the tree outside my window

its in a digital font
and glows gently green in the dark

it's like a nightlight
its pretty
sabbie now you kids are starting to ask the same questions - but then maybe there are only a finite amount of questions in the world.

no reason, you may share in realistic optimist's answer.

how do you go about making a choice?
you already know that there is a choice to be made
and you can see the choices you have.

pick one
grasp it tight in your hands, like the string of a kite
and run with it.

being stationary too long
causes dust
there is already enough dust in the world

and i dont want to be one of the children of the dust


leap now.
right now.
dont think to hard or you'll be paralised by indesision
the rest of your life.

leap now, joyfully and feet first.
and then try to figure out
where it is you have landed.
no reason thank you. i shall try. and i apologize for the repetition of questions. oops.
sabbie statement! three love.

blah-ze when you put your mind to the entity, SABBIE, do you think of yourself, or someone not quite you (but close enough for now)? 040211
sabbie ahh, what a fascinating question my little firematch.

my answer is twofold, and i find that everything in my life at the moment is twofold, except when they are threefold
or indeed fivefold.
that doesn't make me a satanist however.
or even a believer.
but then if i disbelieved in the number five
all my fingers would fall off.

in light of that:
it depends if i'm thinking about sabbie as in the name on blather or jsut sabbie herself.

sabbie on blather is just me, jsut the name that came to me when i first posted here. heh. under RAGE as i recall. i don;t keep a journal and i don't really have a good memory, so blather is pretty much all i have as to my life in the past couple of years. so i put my mind to sabbie-in-blue and i get me. as i am.

but as to sabbie herself, everyone has a bunch of people inside them, and sabbie is the girl who can ramble on about anything that takes her fancy, who takes odd turns of thoughts to places unexpected and who grasps an idea and runs and runs and runs.

sabbie is one of the filters in here that i can see the world through.

so when i turn my mind to her, i find a girl who is part of me, but isn't all of me, she's in here with a bunch of others but she can hold her own.

mostly because she gets distracted so easily by pretty much anything she spots.

blah-ze do you find that patches of your life become abbreviated and all patchy-like when you are really messed up about something and can't seem to get it over with?

and more specifically, is there a better way to get over something then to beat your head against a wall? (literally, or metaphorically)
sab dearest bla-ze
forgive the moment in time between you posing your question and me answering it. for if one blinks too often, one might find that years has passed one by, often without noticing it.

telfon. telfon places is what you are looking at. places in your head where you venture near and the self-defense mechanisims kick in and suddenly you're somewhere else.
somewhere far away

and speaking as a girl with only the tattered reminants of memory anyway, all of my past life is patchy, like i'm standing in the dark with a handful of photographs that are slowly fading away.

damn them for not using enough fixer.

there are a bunch of ways to stave off those feelings, and a bunch more ways to get over them.

the short term things are always useful to keep you from not drowning until there is sufficant time between you and it so that you can start to work on it.
these things can indclude for my good self-
throwing myself into my work
creating art frantically
occasionally diving into various drug induced fun times
holding on for dear life to those around you who are holding out their hands.
and if all else fails, shutting everything down but the bare minimum you need to walk and talk and eat and work, and exsisting there for a while.
jsut coast on the surface for a bit.

once enough time has passed that you can resurface from the edges of madness, then you can start diving back into it and working through it.

give yourself time little flaming one.

if you can't face it yet, then you're not ready, and you're allowed to wait longer.

for you have the rest of your life to work on this shit, you know?

and occasionally buy yourself vanillia icecream, mini m&ms and icemagic and indulge heartily. for this is one of the best things in the world to have.
sab NEXT! 040225
.fallen how do you feel about toe socks? and can answer in the form a a metaphor with profound notes to it? 040225
.fallen could you explain karma as you know it? could coincidences be considered a part of karma in action? if your good karma adds up do you get presents? 040226
sab i shall answer these upside down
first, to the karma question, to which i assume that you read karma_vs_free_docs and that's where it stems from

well, i am in two monds about it.

firstly, i desperatly need a new pair of shoes, and these are docs and boots and perfect. the universe always leaves me present son the footpath in the form of trash, rusty trits, a bunch of lovely and pretty things. and i wonder if this is jsut another one of those. my art is created from things i find, pippi longstocking called it turnupstuffing and i've been doing it ever since i can remember.

and the universe owes me a couple of things after the few weeks ive had, so maybe this is it being sheepish and offering me something in return for the shit i've gone through.

and then the other mind is that i shouldn';t take them, because someone put them there and will probably want them back and karma goes if you knick something, something of yours will go missing. and its all about no fucking over other people in the world in the hope that they all share the same value and then you wont get fucked over.

ok, nieve and optimistic, but occasionally i'm guilty of that.

i once found a laptop
and there was the owners biz card in it.
so i rang him and gave it back to him
and he gave me some choclates in return

but the owner of that was easy to find - he had his contact details on there.

these docs dont
there is no way i can get these back to their owner.
except Turn's note idea.

of course, this all could be acedemic, if i got back there and theyre gone.

and then there is the matter of the belt and the jacket.
i need boots
but i dont need a belt or jacket.
so i'd leave them there for someone else who might need them

i've given the universe pleanty of warning, if it doesnt want me to have them it'll have figured something out by now.

so i'll go back in a bit
out of curosity if nothing else.
sab as to toe socks, is a metafore something LIKE something else, or something IS something else? i forget.

never mind
i shall make it up

toesocks are like putting twigs between your toes and walking around. they is very uncomfortable and jsut plain silly. like full gstrings for your feet.
i'm not sure about profound notes, but i always liked the C scale, it's the only one i can still play with both hands and not much thought.

.fallen *kisses sabbie* 040226
sab erm, i'm not sure if thats a statement, but it sure as hell ain't a question so...

in fact, since it was physical affection unasked for,


except it wasnt physical
it was jsut words
well, it wasnt even words
jsut type
which is just pixels
on a screen
tiny little lights
pulsing from somewhere else.

so, umm... how about we call it

maybe i should simply shout

.fallen will the bathtub filled with tofu be more fun than the bathtub filled with chicken parts and jello? 040226
sab you've cheated little one, you've asked me, misstree and birdmad the same question.

for i know all
i see all
except when i close my eyes
or find myself
in the dark

that aside, the sab.answer to your question very much depends on what you plan to do once the bath is filled with the aforementioned things.

if one approached it from a cleaning point of view, i think that jelly would be the best, because you could run hot water and melt it down the drain, whereas the chicken bits wouldnt fit down the drain and tofu doesnt melt like that.

however, the way you have worded your question leaves to abigulity wether the chicken parts and the jello has to go together or if indeed i have three choises.

and part of the fun of jelly is it's viscosity or solidness, but for that to happen it has to be cold, for jelly warmed back up gets all wet again i should think. so you then have to weigh up temprature vs solidarity.

and as to the chicken parts, is it raw? raw and cold? room temprture and uncooked? room temputre, uncooked and four weeks old? room temprature and cooked? still burning hot? for climbing into a bath filled with freshly cooked bbq chicken is going to burn the skin like water never has. you say chicken parts. is it the meat or just the bones?

climbing into a bath filled with old dusty chicken bones is going to be clankly and sound like bamboo wind chimes. but then if theyve previously been bbqed or roasted, the bones change composition and become brittle in an oily way. so that would be different again.

is the tofu solid? or in chunks? is it hot or cold? is it the silken desert kind of tofu or the other kind?

and then i realise that your question never even states that i have to climb into it, just what filling would be fun in a bath?

so i picutre an art gallery with three iron baths
one filled with chicken bits of different ages and cookedness
one filled with jelly
and one filled with chunks of tofu

and i have to say that for colour, i would go with admiring asthetically the jelly bath

for minimalisim i would go for the tofu bath

and for insteresing texture as well as the randomness and well as the smirk factor of having bits of chicken slowly rotting in an art gallery while people pretend to be into it on an artisitc level, i'm going for the chicken bits in the bath.

blah-ze is it morally indefensible to talk to someone and try to make them say certain words for the sole reason their accent sounds funny? 040227
sab my darling bla-ze, i used to work in a call centre and sat next to a kiwi boy. and every call i'd hear him pause, sigh, and then say "fush and chups". every caller WITHOUT FAIL would ask him to say it, so they could hear it.
poor 'thon.

so, no. in a world were the king of the USA
can get away
with everything we know he's done
and everything we dont
in a world were politions can pull slight of hands
where the media stirs the population into such an uproar about reconcilliation and howard's refusal to say Sorry that canberra can slide the GST in without a sound, in a world where the church can quietly move around those who are known to be paedophilics and never tell anyone
never prosecute
never fix
in a world where the kids in guantanimo bay still havent been charged, after two years of being held captive
in a world where the politics in an office are phenonomilly more important than actually doing the work

in a world such as ours, little flaming one, i can't see how making someone say something because their accent twists if funny is morally indefensible
because nothing else seems to be.


.fallen what is your favorite way to cook a duck?

do you enjoy red wine and if so which is your favorite bottle?

what is the best thing you've heard/seen since Tuesday?

do you know the nifty equation that proves 1+1=3 and if so what is it?
Max Power per your explanation about the oceans being blue because of the reflection from the sky.

As I'm sure you are aware there are many areas of the flowing oceans which are green and not a hue of blue

So why then would some areas be blue and some areas be green if the sky is blue the world over?
sab .fallen my girl, you are a curious thing.
and im all good with that.

ok, my favourite way to cook a duck is to put it in the microwave on high for about 10 minutes.

around about the 2 minute mark, it does tend to explode, and it's hell on the microwave, but the flapping and squarking before hand is always worth the mess.

see gremlins?

i love red wine, and there is plenty of blather evidence to back that up, my favorite bottle would have to be this gorgous shaped blue one you can get, although the green ones are really pretty too.

the best thing since tuesday?
well, on tuesday the play started, and on wensday i saw ani_difranco and my sister, on thursday i wagged work and got paid and on the weekend i dreaded my hair again, so the best thing i've seen or heard since tuesday was the sound of the duck exploding in the above paragraph.

you have to do it at least once, if only for the expression on its little feathered face.

as to your nifty equation, if you have an unheathly grasp of the mathimatical univese as i do, pretty much anything can equal anything at all. so all you gotta do is be artistic.

oldephebe holy moly! what do you think about auo-eradication via micro-wave? you know cutting a hole through the door pane and filling the gaps with a resilient duck tape or something and of course drinking enough bacardi 150% to dull the CNS and quiet those last obdurate pangs of the survival instinct and possible regret and remorse and that pesky sense of personal responsibility and latern jawed pragmatism? you know right before one places his over sized head in there...a fictive optometrist dipsomaniac ended his once promising and yet now fatally flawed life - the gash carved out in his memory by raging alchohol abuse and latent oedipal animus and some other delicious nuggets of a really powerful and pernicious (school of piranha descending upon the spead eagled white mottled flesh of his souls meatus in a furious frenzy of feeding kind of thing) atavistic memory and suddenly congealing fatalism..yeah mountain top moment having long since been gleaned and had and wilted laurels clinging desperatly this wrinkled ancient nearly hairless scalp of a souls/lifes canvas..and the image of a blood spattered baby choking on it's mothers after birth bears an unsholesome knowledge in its white and nearly translucent pupiled eye..the image mind you of that garish cherub is invoked at every breaths interegnum..just ask old Hallie about it..anyway..what do you think of the efficaciousness or at least the inspired despair that such an act would you know..indicate? 040229
oldephebe should be auto-eradication via exploding encephalic cerebrum via micro-wave?..and something about latent oedipal and now pretty visceral animus.. 040229
sab and you must be max...

i think you read it wrong.
i wasn't saying that the sky reflects the ocean, or indeed that the ocean reflects the sky.

its that the sky is an ocean in another dimention. so actually, it makes perfect sence that the ocean can be blue or green or yellow or grey and the sky can still be blue, because the sky is not a reflect on the sea but a window to another world.

sab oh dearest fear-of-the-elderly, i think that as a way off this fucked up planet, that does seem to involve a hughe amount of effort.

i mean, if you could get the microwave pre-made to have the hole and the gaffa tape and stuff, cool. i am always up for new expereiences and that one seems to be a once-in-a-lifetime doozie, but it does seem an extrodinary amount of effort.

however, i guess if one had to chose a last action on earth before closing time, you may well want to put lots of time and effort into it.

and at least youd go out
with a

so if you're up for it, oh phobia who hath swallowed several thesurisi, then i say - i'm all for it too

oldephebe nicely done. actually the whole thing with oldephebe is that i am post post pubescent..still carrying around the cauldron pot of angst from highschool and college..and a bit of the quixotic excess..but not i don't use a thesaurus but i do use 'cause my spelling is well really bad..i'm really enjoying this page... :) 040229
.fallen just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

what is your favorite thing?

what are you the most proud of in your life so far?

in your opinion what is the most inspirational, visual, magical, etc., etc. turn of phrase you know?
sabbie statement oldephebe
sab dearest punctuation queen, .fallen

having no idea what a tootise roll pop actually is, but i think they were advertised in the backs of comics i used to buy as a child, i say that it may take an awfully long time to get through it
since i have to find one first.
however, since they are not real to me, you could also say that it will take no time at all to get through, as they have no solidness about them at all.

my favorite thing right at the moment? the visions of blood and screaming death and the apocolypse rolling across the city like a nuclear explosion are keeping me warm and alive at the moment.
that and my new sleeves

the thing i am most proud of in my life so far is me.

and the most magical phrase in the entire world is - fuck them
fuck this
fuck it all
i don't care anymore.

if you can trick yourself into believing it
then everything is so smooth sailing.
oE five love? what are you talking about? 040229
sabbie since that is a question, i shall answer it with this


go find this movie and watch it a lot.
gary oldman and tim roth

they play questions like tennis, with hard and fast rules. and statements loose points.
and you kids are loosing on that front.

oldephebe aw now hey sab we're all just having a little fun here..i was wistfully contemplating this game of badminton we used to play in this rustic hamlet in south eastern pa..a frolicksome preteen foursome we were blithely batting the plastic pigeon back and forth(yeah i know shuttlecock but i prefer my own verbiage)..ah really miss those endless afternoons capering about on well maintained and underutilized and yet unfathomably appreciated acerage...where's an REIT when you need one?...but anyway..i'm not really seeing this as anything advesarial i just felt a little playfull is all w/r/t the whole head exploding in microwave and everything..

i have heard of that movie, and the play...but i have ferociously resisted any production or composite of R and G..the talented mr. oldman notwithstanding...

smurfus rex isn't tennis scored in multiples of 7? 040229
sab my dear oldephebe
that explination was lovely, and the imagery very pretty, however it was still a statement.

six love

actually, its a bunch of statments, however i am not a hardnosed bitch all the time, and you have caught me in love with an otterpup

if the photos ever get out, the paparizzi are going to have a feild day
sabbie king of the little bluites, im not sure how tennis is scored, however it was a litigitmate question so i will find an answer for you

if you look carefully on the rackets, under the terry towling handle wrapping, you will actually find notches carved into the handle. despite what you have been told, that is actually the way tennis is scored.

the notches are womble shaped.
tennis was orignally a cruel and bloodthirsty hunting sport.

Doar why? 040309
misstree is a bit out of it just started reading rosencrantz_and_guildenstern_are_dead... makes slightly more sense, though it seemed apparent before... only a small portion into it... verymuch not used to reading plays... any tips for doing such? or would you recommend seeing the movie, if this thing is as surreal as it seems?

and please provide five words describing your place of residence, on whatever scale you wish (and i know that's not technically a question, but it calls for a response, so phooey.)
oldephebe i'm confused - since my pretty or lovely descriptions constitute for you what is a statement how does that translate into a victory for you and a loss or some kind of deficit for me. Under what parameters or game theory rubric (aside from chaos)is this game being scored? I suspect that the determinative calculus is a highly solipstistic one and therefore innately peremptory. What are the dynamics of this little game? Aside of course from you own delicious and slightly despotic amusement of course.
sab why...

i did ask myself that about a bunch of things for ages
but questions breed questions, theyre a randy bunch like that, so i decided to get down to specifics
down to the nitty gritty
but then i found
that i once agian became The Grit Queen
and there was too much grit
in my bed to sleep properly at night
and i dont mind haveing the mindless adoration of particles of grit, but surly they have to go home to their familes occasionally?
sab mistree - yeah, i know what you mean about reading plays, i still find it... well, not tricky, but reading a play is ok, but its jsut a story. and then i see rehersal and i think ohh, THATS what that was and then i see opening night and it jsut getts better and better and its like watching a rosebud unfirl. the rosebud is pretty, but as it unfurls it gets better and better. so if you're having trouble with the play, go rent the movie. i LOVE it, and anything with both gary oldman and tim roth is all good.

as to your request [ :) ] five words describing my place of residence.

"little paperSt house from fightclub"
or, since i live in my head
"warm, wet, dark, comforting, squishy"

take your pick
sab dear oldphobe, i will let you in on a secret
there are no rules
everything i do or say is pretty much me entertaining myself. if other people are inadvertatly entertained, all well and good. but everything i do is merely amusing myself

because someone has to godsdamn it.

so, my rules for this page run thusly:

any question shall be answered
any statement will result in me gaining a point
and most answer shall end with the request NEXT!

let me demonstrate for you:

oldephebe who can stand against such wit and immaculate not to mention irrefutable logic?

i'm gonna hunker down right here with the other faithful in the front row...

where's that guy who sells those refried bean tortillas?
megan how can i get over a guy who left me after 3 years? i need a list here 040405
sab hey megan, this one is a little time consuming, but well worth it in the end.

find a friend who is gluten intollerant, but who desperatly loves hot cross buns.

on easter morning, get up early, purchase gluten free flour, yeast, currants, sugar, peel, vanilla extract, icing sugar, warm water [unless you have it at home] and a tin.
mix all the stuff together, make the yeast happen, shape into round shapes, put it in the oven, bake it for a bit, glaze, bake it a little more, put the cross bits on it, ring your friend, pretend that you need them around for a different reason, get them over and present them with their very favourite bread product that they havent eaten in three years and smile at their beaming, happy face.

do unexpected and nice things for other people.

because it makes you warm and fuzzy too.

and remember to stand tall. that you are still you, even without him. that you have now the space to figure out who you are, because you have been you+him for three years now.

in the quiet that surrounds you, you now have the space to find yourself.

sometimes autumn is cold and bitter and sometimes its beautiful.

embrace it all

because the autumn sun and the beauty of the changing leaves are always worth it.

much love and pats to you little one.
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl dear sabbie,
do you think that i should give up my old religion and convert to the new, funner religion which i enjoy, love and cherish more, or should i be kept shut it with my old one, which i am afraid to go against?
misstree what is the _____-est piece of Art (as you consider such) that you have birthed? (stories!)

this summer i'll be working at the largest u.s. national park as a waitress... grew up camping, so there's an aspect of return to roots, but more than anything this is monasterylike... transformative potential... any advice?
minnesota_chris hee hee yeah megan, stand tall. Come on, tall! 040408
sab oE- the guy who sells tortillias has gone home for the holidays, happy_dead_god and everything, but the guy who is replacing him should be around at any moment -

hes new.
im not guarrenteeing anything about his produce for sale, other than the fact that because he has been called into being by me on this page particually, he could be selling anything at all, in any stage of eat.ability.

anything you put in your mouth is your own responsibility.
sab iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl, i think it kind of sounds like you have made a decision already little one :)

but i have firm beleifs on religion.

religion is the way that each person who chooses to participate in it chooses to relate to the way they have chosen to view the Divine.

read that sentace carefully. see how many choices you have in there?

if you like them both, smoosh them together and mush them up until you have something that fits you perfectly.

take the things you like and shape them into something that works for you.

because, ultimatly what kind of god would create something that then offends them?

since the way the gods work is that they need our belief to continue, because if noone believes in them, or remembers them, then they dont exsit, they are jsut as reliant on us as we are on them.

and if the religion you are afriad of going against has such a vengful god that you are afraid of them, a) who wants to live in fucking fear all the time, and b) do you really want to spend your afterlife with such a crochety god?

theres enough stuff in the world to be afriad of. people might not be on your side, but your god/s are.

every god is different, each god you believe in is your own personal god.

take the christian god. if you believe in him, and your mum believes in him, the god your mum believes in wont be exactly the same one you have in your head, even though your going by the same rule book.

if the gods shape our world then its only fair that we get to shape them in return.

because everything evens out in the end.

otherwise stuff would keep listing to the left.
sab misstree, misstree, my darling girl. i am getting back to that email, i promise. :) until then, let me answer these questions for you.

the _____-est piece of Art i ever created was the ones i feel amblivant about. the ones that you make and then go - nyack. which is the verbal equivilant of a shrug.
the rockingest piece of art i ever created... well, thats harder. i think it's the plays. the hand i get to have in the pot that goes into the oven and comes back out with the shows. im fucking proud of each and every one of them. often the Art that i put into them are not considered Art as such by the wider community. all the research, suggestions, questions, thoughts, all the very bones of sab that i conturubute are just as much art as the photographs and paintings i have hanging on my walls, and the sculputres and art that i have secreted around my house.

but my latest thing i am hell proud of was making four complete posters in three weeks for the next three plays, not so much graphic work as digital art work. almost killed me, i worked on them for three weeks solid, apart from working full time and sleeping occasionally. and at the end i came out with four gorgous images that i am hell fucking proud of.

hey, that sounds like a spanking job darlin' girl.
do you get to do the camping and stuff?

im all for transformation.
[we are all trying to evolve]
[i am becomming...]
{and what more can we possibly need in life
but ani and trent?}
and i find that growing wings is easier in solitude where you can hear the feathers rustling as they solidify into the world around you
behind you.

so my advise is watch out for bears.
and bees
and the customers.

drink meditive coffee
sit in the sun sometimes, but dont get burnt
take the oppitunity for some time out.

however, my most important piece of advice is have a fucking BALL of a time.
that goes for no matter where you are. thats one of the standard sab rules.
and if your into this kjind of thing, learn from those you meet.
even if its learning how not to be like them.
because arseholes are useful for that kind of thing
sab minnesota_chris thats six love

misstree o illustrious miss sabbie, i gotta take a hit for the team to add but one minor detail to your wonderful expounding on goth girl's behalf: don't just trade dogma for dogma. own what you believe at every turn. i think you could do very well as a pagan christian for a while (and yes they do exist, i have poked them); the important thing is what makes you wise and brave and happy and free and screw the rest, it'll give you indigestion.

now, a battery of quick questions to make up for it:
your habitat sounds colorful and fascinating and very sab; do you have any way of taking pictures? (and again i thwart myself with the need to spout that the dead_girls post makes me salivate and dream of what the actual play musta been like.) and any way we can see the posters for the upcoming plays?

and indeed i do get to do camping and suchnot, i also get to go horseback riding for the first time, and i aim to talk to the firewatcher (who apparently sits up in the middle of nowhere for months and months and has no one to talk to and is really strange but has wickedcool stories), and whole slews of stuff as yet unimaginable, while making hella cash. yay me! and that was some wickedgood advice, a printout will be summarily taped to my doorframe. :)

and just one more question:
i see that we've reached six love, but if you're not asking any questions, simply making statements, how in heck does the score balance out?
minnesota_chris are we playing the_question_game? 040409
spiffy i thought for a very long time about what a good question would be, then finaly thought to ask: what is a good question? 040607
sab three at once.

ok [ahems]

misstree, i know y'aint here at the moment, but the best way to even out the score is to start one of your own
or trick me into giving you some points
or jsut declaire that you have some.

im all good either way.

but i'll give you a bunch of points if you do an america_for_sab page along the lines of australia_for_misstree

minni chris, we are indeed. well, a version of it anyway

and darling spiffy, all questions are vaild, any question is good. any question that gets me thinking is better, any question that entertains me is fab and any question that i can entertain myself with the answer is indeed Good.

so my little dapper child, ask another and see the result.

its kinda like a automated gyspie-in-a-glass-box fortune, but you dont have to spend the 20 cents
unhinged how are you (cause i miss you) ? 040607
x do you really think there are non-animal/spiritual type entities that interfere with our human affairs? 040607
spiffy what is normal? 040608
sab me?
i grow a little more insane, every single day
but the spiraling descent is still amusing to me

so im all good with it.

x - yeah, i really, really do. if only because how the hell else do you explain any of the shit that goes on? most of it doesnt make sence unless you find the unseen fingers stiring the pot.

weird things happen around me and to me all the time. once i figured out that there is a bunch of unknown elements with their own often bizarre and unfathomable agendas, then i was much cooler with the shit that goes on.

plus, as a bonus you can have the simple fact that if you populate the world with magic and faeries and gods and goddesses and spirits and mythical beasts and unknown things and the world of the unseen, it makes for a much more interesting place to live

and spif-mister? nothing is normal.
you show me a normal, average human and i'll show you a human with 1.2 testicles, 4.3 overies, 2.4 children ect ect.

normaliciy is a falicy, a weird benchmark they hold up and find everyone lacking. being normal is the weirdest thing i can think of

and i have yet to meet anyone, anyone at all who i would have described as either normal or average.

globalfruitbat will you draw me a sheep? 040609
sab already done

i scratched it in the dried coffee rings on my desk with my fingernail.

dosquatch Where did I go wrong? 040609
spiffy ok a math problem:

what is eight times happy divided by deranged parrots plus virtual dust times 342 to to the power of three?
sab dosquatch, that question depends on what kind of answer you want.

for the gothic tradgic one, everything you've done could have been done differently, chosen different paths with less darkness and pain
or indeed, more darkness and pain, depending on where you want to be in the gothic cycle.

for the hippy one, you havent gone wrong honey, and this daisy should proove that the world loves you.

for the selfish modern one, you havent gone wrong ever, its people around you that go wrong constantly, fuckers.

for the reglious dogma one there is no right and wrong, its all jsut god/s infeiable plan.

for the athesitc one, its not so much that youve gone wrong, its just that this sort of thing happens all the time.

for the ani one, we are good people who have done some bad things

and for the sab one - dont be looking backwards, you cant change it anyway, all you can do is kick yourself over the things you've done, and that gets pretty old pretty quickly. start from here.
in the map of your life:
X - you are here.

so start afresh
from now.
sab spiff, that is the fucking spunkiest question i have been asked in a bunch of days.

airtight, lets break it down.
i have trouble with maths, so bear with me.

ok. firstly, the deranged parrots, parrots squark and sing a lot, and often the derranged are happy in their insanity, or insanly happy, or at least laughing lots. there is a duck man in my city, he just wanders around making quaking sounds, thats all he does. so happy fits into parrots two and a half times, but to parrots powerfully deranged, happy fits five times, witha duckman remaining.

i'll get to the 8 in a minute.

ok, now virtual dust plus 342, well, we all know that 42 is the meaning of life, and 3 is a sacred number in a bunch of religions, so 3 meanings of life are art, monsters [of both the negitive and positive kinds] and icecream. now, add those to virtual dust, which isnt dust, its only virtually dust, which is so almost dust it could be dust, but isnt, and we get/... well, if it isnt dusty it must be clean. so we get spankingly clean art, monsters and icecream.

to the power of three.
which is cubed.

well, cubed fits into the art thing, so obviously we have cubist art, the monsters could be dice rolled and as to the icecream, well, thats easy. icecubes, icecream, its all the same when you get down to it.

ok, now if you take all that, which is:
happy \ derranged parrots = 5, remainer a duckman, + monsters, art and icecream cubed, times 8 is

erm, hang on, forgot to carry the day...
and the planets aliginging..

oh, here it is, the answer had fallen behind the desk.

happy .\. derranged parrots = 5, remainer a duckman, + monsters, art and icecream cubed, times 8 is

scales from the rainbow_serpent
to the power of 23.

hang on, i'll jsut get my bible and check that at the back
it doesnt sound right to me.

oh, look, it says that it's actually 97 1/3 orange envelopes.


and i thought i did so well.

spiffy i'm not sure what you mean by spunky... but wow that was a cool answer.

ok, i seem to have lost myself. where did i go?
once again What does the color orange mean to you? 040612
sab godsdamn its been a long time between drinks.


spiffy, m'love, to answer your question, where are you. ok, well, if you take the theory that energy cant ever disappear, it just changes form. so you dont die, you jsut change into something else. this also means that all the stars that exploded from here backwards to the start of the universe are all kicking around somewhere, and thus it runs that we are all constructed of bits of stars and atoms of god [see : bollix_to_the_we_are_all_stars_theory ] and also if you take the theory that because we've all been bits of stars that we are all made of the same stuff and we are all part of eachother and that measn you can be a part of the moon and an aligator in a texas swamp, that means that you are part of everything and everything is part of you and that means that you are everywhere and everywhere is you which means that youre not lost at all, because you can be found everywhere you look and everywhere else too.

. . 090311
. How long has it been since you got that scar? 090312
. if a complete stranger contacted you
said they were thinking of killing themselves, didn't want to be talked out of it, just wanted to talk
what kind of questions would you ask them?
non-solicited-non-sabbie-answer If they wanted to (talk) why would anyone be asking them questions? Seems like a perfect situation to be a good listener and not a talker. 090312
unhinged (when he told me he felt like he wanted to die, i just looked into his eyes and grabbed his hand)

so when are you going to come to this continent? where would you visit if you did so i can meet you there?
what's it to you?
who go