bright_eyes
silentbob loves you The phone slips from a loose grip. Words were missed then some apology like I didnít want to
tell you this itís just some guys she has been hanging out with oh I donít know the past couple
of weeks I guess. Thank you and hang up the phone. Let the funeral start. Hear the casket
close. Letís pin split-black ribbon onto your overcoat. Still laughter pours from under doors in this
house. I donít understand that sound no more. It seems artificial like a T.V. set. Haligh, Haligh,
Haligh, Haligh this weight it must be satisfied. You offer only one reply. You know not what you
do. But you tear and tear your hair from roots. From that same head you have twice removed a
lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die. Well ha ha ha. But I remember
everything the words we spoke on freezing South street. And all those morning watching you
get ready for school. You combed your hair inside that mirror. The one you painted blue and
glued with jewelry tears. Something about those bright colors always made you feel better. So
now we speak with ruined tongues and the words we say arenítí meant for anyone. Itís just a
mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, but there was once you said you hated my
suffering and you understood and youíd take care of me. You would always be there, well where
are you now? Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, the plans were never finalized but left to hang like
yarn and twice dangling before my eyes. As you tear and tear your hair from roots, from that
same head that you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove that our love would
never die. As I sing and sing of awful things, the pleasure that my sadness brings as my fingers
press onto the strings you get another clumsy chord. Haligh, Haligh, an awful lie. This weight will
now be satisfied. I will give you only one reply, I know not who I am but I talk in the mirror to the
stranger that appears. Our conversations are circles and always one sided, nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back to this meaning that I lack. He says the choices were given and
now I must live them or just not live, but do you want that?
020414
...
ilovepatsajak mmm i love bright eyes
he wrote these when he was 13

saturday as usual.


virginia's almost sleeping
the night is getting older
there's static on the tv
and she's lying on the sofa
the cats crawl over her

and jenny's in the garage
she's got the car in neutral
she rolls it out so quietly
it's saturday as usual
it always is

and me i'm in my bedroom
drawing in my notebook
cuz my hand thinks i'm and artist
but my heart knows i'm a poet
it's just words they mean so little to me
i can't seem to deal with total trust
there is something very wrong with me


daddy's in the backyard
his hands are getting dirty
and mom is in the kitchen
and the cake says that i'm thirteen
another year

and brother went to college
to become a doctor
and if he studies hard enough
he'll end up just like father
who hates his life

and me i'm in the bathroom
crying out my eyelids
cuz it's hard to "be a man"
when you're scared
just like a little kid
the world has become a little too mean

and i can't see the point of patient love when everyone just wants to get fucked.


exaltation on a cool, kitchen floor.

i wanted to come visit you
waiting in the springtime
when the leaves change
the ground outside is waiting for that
newness that surrounds us
as we dance back through the screen door
in the sunlight of mid-April
but its glow won't stop the smiles
that are spreading on our faces
as we fall down on the kitchen floor
and she is laughing about that she had heard earlier
and i can't help noticing that she is sitting closer to me
than she ever has before



the awful sweetnesss of escaping sweat.

we escape from the house
as the day disappears from the sky
into night
we became what we wanted to be
like a dream or a ghost
i collapse out of turn
near a house
lying still in the grass and felt the heat from the ground
rising up to contract and expand like a breathe
we escape from that place
soaked with sweat and the poison we drank
fill the bathtub with ice and hope this fever will break
like a heart
easily
but i do not recall all the words that were formed
on those wire lips as they greeted me
a promise was made without though as the temperature climbed
and i started to sink like the moon
tends to do if you stare at it too long
then you blink and its gone
and we crawl to our sleep with the dawn
i awake in the light feeling hollow and selfishly warm
close the blinds and retreat until what is burning is gone
and it's light is away
then we are back in the dark
chasing nothing through backyards and trees
you ripped your shirt on a fence but it didn't get me
yeah it's fear
it makes you so low
and these creatures look crooked
their shadows cut lines through my face and the concrete is fire
where my bare feet are placed
in a line next to yours
and i guess i'm not sure if it was fear that was born
as those awful eyes made their claim on us
i put my hands on the fence
said your name
and i started to climb
and it must have been sweat but i drank it like wine
it was sweet and my mouth was dry
i heard you scream but i made no reply
i can still taste it now if i try


a celebration upon completion.

my grandfather's name was moon
because his eyes were bright and round
and no amount of time or liquor could dull them
my grandmother's name was joy
because it spilled out of her heart
and bathed her precious children in its warmth
and there was happiness in life beyond the sorrow
and the pain
but how they ever found it i cannot explain
i guess time has a way of making everything alright
it's just there is not enough of it
and so we drink and we sing and we celebrate
this lie and hope that it will last
morning is here night has passed
my grandfather was a doctor
he cured the sick with his kind hands
and he taught me how to sail and how to feel this way
my grandmother was all sweetness
and when she spoke we all heard bells and
they ran in such a way that we were comforted
and they held on to each other with all the strength they had
and they loved with devotion beyond what i understand
but i guess fear has a way of making sleep unbearable
and the days seem dark and long
but we cry and we dance and we stumble into love with perfect, awkward grace
the moon is gone and the sun has took its place


lila.

close your eyes
the dark outside can't hurt you
and i will never desert your bedside
so close them tight
the stars are so glad that they've found you
and on the blankets that surround you
they shine their light
they shine their light
rest your head and i will be watching from the doorway
as you drift into a perfect, peaceful sleep
and morning will come in all its simple glory
and you will find the light
and i will be there
standing in your shadow
knowing that you once were mine
all mine
my baby


february fifteenth.

all eyes on the calendar
another year i claim of total indifference
to here the days pile up
with decisions to be made
i'm sure all of them were wrong
into this song, i send myself
and with these drinks i plan to collapse and forget
this wasted year
these wasted years
devoted friends, they disappear
i'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
some decisions you don't make
i guess it's like breathing and not wanting to
there are some things that you can't fake
i guess that it is typical
to cling to memories you'll never get back again
and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago
or a friend that you used to know
and there, below his frozen face
you wrote the name and that ancient date
and you can't believe he is really gone
when all that's left is a fucking song
i'm sorry about the phone call and waking you
i know that its late
but thank you for talking because i needed to
some things just can't wait
020415
...
Sailor Jupiter My mother used to affectionately call me "bright eyes" and scratch the back of my head like a cat. She wanted a cat badly but my father is allergic, so I was the substitute. She wanted a cat and got a nimble green-eyed daughter instead. We had a stormy relationship in the beginning of my life but when I acted like a cat she'd smile at me and hold me. I learned to purr for her. People like the cat in me. I see how they look at me when I slink across the floor or a bed. My purring turns guys on and sometimes they get lost in my bright eyes. But being part animal isn't always a joy. It makes you sub-human and then people treat you that way. 020415
...
paste! conor's new band 'desaparecidos' came out here on my birthday 2/12--i saw them in tucson and then drove up to phoenix the next day for the encore. full on great time! prodigal! nuclear rocky road sounds! a lot louder and harder and cynical (can you believe it?) than his solo stuff. 020415
...
silentbob i didn't know he had a new band
o! the things you can learn from blather

billy corgan has a new band too
020416
...
Photophobe really, who? 020416
...
silentbob i think there name is like Zwan or something like that 020416
...
Photophobe heh. great name. hehe.

I guess I'll have to check them out.
020416
...
silentbob Kathy With a K's Song

Love is real
it is not
just in novels or the movies
it is fact
and it is standing here right in front of you
so if you open your eyes
what a sweet discovery
there is hope, there is joy, and there is acceptance
so now let all the light that collects on your plants
keep you warm
make you smile
and I will be there with this pen in my hand to record
all the while
you'll be laughing so loud
that the house would shake with sound
and everything would be as new as the day it was found.

Love is real
it is not just in long distance commercials
or something that you thought you felt back in high school
so I will turn
black and white
become that horoscope you're reading
it predicts something good is on it's way
and then I'll send you the world green and blue
in a box in the mail
you can open it up
hold it right in your hand and be glad taht it's there
and be glad that you're there
you can feel all the knots in your stomach start to untie
and suddenly it's not so hard to say you're allright.

Love is real
it is not
just in poetry and stories
it is truth
and it will follow you
everywhere you go from now on
so if you would just cast off your doubt
then your lips would answer for you
oh my darling, when you smile
it is like a song
and I can hear it now.
020416
...
silentbob i wont be around for the sentencin
cuz i am leavin
on the next airplane
i know my actions are impossible to justify
they seem adequate as i fill up my time
but if i could talk to myself
like i was someone else
maybe i could take your advice

and i wouldnt act like such an asshole all the time.
020416
...
Toxic_Kisses BritEyez - One of my various nick names while I was a chat junky 020426
...
silentbob i may have talked to you. i remember talking to someone by that name when i was younger 020426
...
Toxic_Kisses I read recently that out of the whole population on Earth only 8% have ever been on the internet, so SilentBob it is quite possible that we have previously met before ^.^ 020426
...
kill rhythm thank you silent bob for telling me about this band. because february fifteenth is now on my definite favorite songs list. you are so awesome 020504
...
blown cherry well, somebody had to do it, especially with all this talk of bunnies there's been recently.

"The song is about death - and the mystery of what happens afterwards."
- Mike Batt



Bright Eyes (from Watership Down)
by Mike Batt

Is it a kind of dream
Floating out on the tide
Following the river of death downstream
Oh is it a dream?

There's a fog along the horizon
A strange glow in the sky
And nobody seems to know where you go
And what does it men
Oh_ is is a dream?

Bright eyes burning like fire
Bright eyes how can you close and fail
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes

Is is a kind of shadow reaching into the night
Wandering over the hills unseen
Or is it a dream?

There's a high wind in the trees
A cold soud in the air
And nobody knows where you go
And where do you start
Oh_ into the dark

Bright eyes burning like fire
Bright eyes how can you close and fail
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes
020505
...
bethany omg b/c
dont't take this personally but

silflay hraka

hahhahahaha!
020505
...
blown cherry I won't take it personally, but I'll take it in green if it's available?
And could I possibly get it gift wrapped in a purple tomato? I think that would look smashing!
020505
...
silentbob bobby likes watership down 020505
...
Tildan does too, but not the cartoon movie 020506
...
bethany here here 020507
...
bethany and btw....
turn around
bright eyes
once upon a time i was falling in love
and now
i'm only falling apart
JESEUS HANK!
020507
...
green eyes brithg eyes was a pound puppy
she had bright blue eyes
do u remember that show?
it brings back so many memories
020508
...
ilovepatsajak i'm going to see bright eyes in 6 days!!!!!!!!! 020509
...
silentbob Did you expect it all to stop at the wave of your hand? Like the sun is just going to drop if itís
night you demand. Well, in the dark we are just air so the house might dissolve. But once we are
gone, who is gonna care if we were ever here at all? Well, summer is going to come and itís
gonna cloud our eyes again. There is not need to focus when there is nothing that it worth
seeing. So we trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales. I think you lost what you
loved in that mess of details. They seemed so important at the time but now you canít even recall
any of the names, faces, or lines. It is more the feeling of it all. Well, winter is going to end and
Iím going to clean these veins again. So close to dying that I finally can start living.
020509
...
GirlNamedLover a perfect sonnet.
I love that song.
and I want to blathe here to break in my new name.
020818
...
Syrope were in the new york times today!! (ok, yesterday now that it's 2:30 am, but still) 020926
...
jenna a sunrise and the sunsets the master and his servent have exactly the same fate to a sunrise and a sunset, your lover is an actress - did you really think she'd stay? 020927
...
GirlNamedLover does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
and does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you?
does he know that place below your neck thats your favorite to be touched?
and does he cry through broken sentences like "I love you far too much"?
020927
...
paintedmarbles my_eyes_seem_to_follow_you_like_a_hated_addiction 030217
...
paintedmarbles this is killrhythm. i changed my name because i dont want to be remembered as the girl who loved jon. now im painted marbles. and this is why:

and im staring at my wrist, hoping that the time is right. when the planets will align, there'll be no planets to align, just the carcass of the sun

little painted marbles spinning senseless through an endless black sky

(thats "from a balance beam" by bright eyes)
030217
...
girlnamedlover commander_venus 030217
...
painted marbles i bought lifted or the story is in the soil keep your ear to the ground today. i was excited. i have most of their albums, but they are burned. i figured i should support the band, you all know how that goes. and let me tell you how much i am crying on the inside. my friend told me that bright eyes is playing in cleveland on march 6th. and thats a thursday night, meaning i cant go because of school the next day. shoot me in the heart why dont you! im so mad. i wanted to see them so bad, and they have alreayd been through pittsburgh recently. it will be awhile before i get to see them. shed a tear for me guys. thanks :) 030220
...
sweetheart of the song tra bong Who has seen Conor live? I am going to do so on Sunday at the 9:30 club. Wheee! Will he be all drunk and sad and emo to the extreme?

Cause yeah...that'd be hot.

And Arab Strap is opening
030423
...
Syrope they're coming here (raleigh) and i didn't know!!! i think they're sold out :( :( :( 030423
...
maybe i have a dream to write or create in a way that makes people feel like i do when i hear bright eyes music 030427
...
art choke i had a brother once
he drowned in a bathtub before he had ever learned how to talk
and i don't know what his name was but my mother does
i heard her say it once, padriac my prince i have all but died from the
sheer weight of my shame. you cried but no one came and the water filled your
tiny lungs. appear, my dear, and sing to me. it was six years ago today that
we laid you in your grave, your sweet young skin was shining then too.
and so tonight to celebrate i will poison myself.
another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom that is spinning.
so i close the door and rest my head on the tile floor,
sickness and sleep turning me cold.
i am still not sure, is there some better place i should be heading towards?
where the selfishly sick and self absorbed are welcome.
i saw the future once.
i was drunk in a phone booth.
my eyes were wet and red but i could not tell what was said
and through the screams of the traffic voiced carried saying
i am sorry
on a day so gray its black inside
watching churches on tv
in a coma you don't dream you just hope that someone sits with you
babies turn blue when they are ignored like the sky on summer days
before you turn and walk away it has changed you
so tonight to compensate i will poison myself
another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom that is spinning.
030429
...
art choke touch, lying on the floor
wishing this could last
but knowing that it can't
and soon you will leave
and i will be on the floor,
watching the tv, trying hard to find a reason to move
i'm frozen in one place, staring at the screen
listening to the rain falling on the street
some days go on too long
and no one can hang out tonight
here, where the carpet is cool and soft,
underneath the clock i feel my weary heart is put to rest
you gather around your friends
the connection that you feel when the night has not yet died
you are new with a promise of a love
you will probably never find
and touch that you can really feel
the brokenness inside as hope and less collide
now nothing is real
(you are new and near now to someone you used to love
when you were young; when all was gold and you two touched
and felt the flutter underneath your skin. you stood in glowing rooms,
the light dripping from both of you.
and nothing since has felt as radiant or real.)
and there is nothing more i want than just one night
that's free of doubt and sadness
one night that i can really feel.
030429
...
art choke this is my absolute favorite song...
... so far.
......


It was in the march of the winter I turned seventeen
That I bought those pills
I thought I would need
And I wrote a letter to my family
Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me
Just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon
And I've heard that music
Echo through the house
Where my grandmother drank
By herself
And I sat watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by its honesty
So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken its place

So please forgive what I have done
No you can't stay mad at the setting sun
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually
There is nothing left to do but sleep

But spring came bearing sunlight
Those persuasive rays
So I gave myself a few more days
My salvation it came, quite suddenly
When Justin spoke very plainly
He said "Of course it's your decision,
But just so you know,
If you decide to leave,
Soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
Who has yet to be born
My brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover loss
So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
Just love.
Just love.

I will be pure
No, no, I know i will be pure
Like snow, like gold

...........
i want to marry conor oberst.
030429
...
sylvia platypus i thought you wanted to marry ted hughes

the_man_should_marry_me
030429
...
silentbob when i saw his other band, the desaparecidos he was really drunk and kind of abrasive as far as a performer. like he didnt want to get the audience off. thats kind of how he is apparently. and audiences hate him for it.

im goign to see bright eyes in nine days with arab strap. in chicago

is anyone else going to that? it would be cool to meet
030430
...
art choke in ted hughes time, i wanted to marry him.
in our time, i want to marry conor oberst.
030430
...
sweetheart of the song tra bong Bobby: prepare yourself for emo ACDC covers. It is a good show and Conor was drunk from drinking straight out of a wine bottle during the entire performance and he got up on the drums and jumped off but yeah, he didn't really get the audience off and the emo kids wouldn't dance. 030430
...
splinken I kind of have this irrational desire to beat the shit out of bright eyes.

I'm honestly not saying that to be salty or whatever -- it perplexes me.
030430
...
silentbob i don't know what i want to do with bright eyes. i think i used to want to beat the shit out of him / them. but you get used to his music. and now i just want to see them live.

people hate conor oberst now because of his popularity and the media attention he's getting.
Somehow that isn't a good enough reason for me, when your music makes that many people happy. i can understand wanting many people to hear it. and getting more money.
030501
...
splinken Oh, it has nothing to do with either popularity, fame, or money.

I just want to give him a good kick in the leg or something. And I'm not sure why. Maybe because he drinks a lot and whines about girls.
030503
...
ashmanzhou if eyes be windows to our soules
they why they be bright?
ultimately we are all dead
and i my eyes are flat and dead
it matters not
what matters is not tangible
what can be is not real now or later
and nothing can be where we are
why their eyes glint?
with cheeky humour i never feel
with love i never can taste
with painlessness impossible dream
i hate those eyes i hate mine own
030710
...
oldephebe bright eyes bearing boldly forth
ashmanzhou - i love your imagery

bright eyes bearing her boldly forth
i feel like falling down inside every time i look into their sparkling depths
tear me away from those tearing tyrant eyes

just an extemporaneously pecked out frag

ashmanzhou you write like a painter
an almost effortless facility for the intimate and abstract and make it accessible, no its like your two palms against the readers two palms

please keep sharing
030710
...
oldephebe that goes for silentbor and
ilovepatsajak as well
030710
...
oldephebe typo - that goes for silent bob and ilovepatsajek as well 030710
...
jane sean just burned me their cd 030710
...
silentbob which one 030710
...
jane ummm i don't know.. it's in my car
name off a bunch and i would recognize it
?
030712
...
silentbob Lifted *or* the story is in the soil keep your ear to the ground

Fevers_and_mirrors
A Collection of Songs
Letting off the happiness

describe some of the songs on it
030712
...
jane i'm just gonna run to my car...hold up


it's
lifted or...
030712
...
oldephebe bright eyes
bearing her boldly forth
I feel like falling down
every time I
look into their
sparlking depths
twin tyrants
and the look
that sealed me
to the
stone of the moment
a look
frame the moment in fire
and into this flat canvas
she filled up thses flat fields
this flat idle canvas
static corn its tassles
bronzed and brittle
in a searing Kanasas Sun

hmm not sure where the agrarian
evocations come from
but the girl
she was my church
i looked into her eyes
such brightness
i fell in
and the vestiges of those memories
are all vexing
indelibly etched
...
030712
...
crimson I'm still bitter about missing a Bright Eyes show so many months ago.

Conor's brilliant.

and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere
just get me past this dead and eternal snow
because i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening
so if there is a perfect spring that's waiting somewhere
just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright
its going to be alright, yeah you worry too much kid,
its going to be alright.
030816
...
oldephebe beautiful, aching, harrow

I won't be presumptuous to tread upon the intimacy and the sactity of what you've shared - but ah I'm feelin' you over here crimson -

all the sages and scribes and folk wisdom can't reach down and pull you out of Hell - Self love, and a radical change in your pereception - that's what saves me every time I find myself clinging to the edges of the pit or abyss -

you write some really powerful stuff - it's takes a powerful soul to generate that kind of empathy and connection
...
030816
...
oldephebe god!!!! my spelling and now even simple grammatical construction or syntax sucks
this insomnia is really getting to me

I wanted to write - I don't want to be presumptuous and tread upon the intimacy and sanctity of what you've shared -

this is really embarrassing
030816
...
silentbob well um...
I don't want you to be more embarassed than you are...
I'm sorry
but crimson didn't write that. Bright Eyes did.
and i don't think crimson was trying to take credit for it either, or pass it off as original, or anything like that.

it was just a misunderstanding i guess
030817
...
oldephebe 'preciate the clarification
let my sentiments be trnsferred to whomever wrote the passage i responded to - i meant every word
030817
...
unhinged sucks

and people who don't eat chicken aren't allowed to have an opinion


(and yes i am petulant, moody, and overly bored.)
030818
...
oldephebe boo-hyphen-hoo 030818
...
oldephebe mmm chicken
I like mine boiled, braized, broiled, baked, barbecued, mmm chicken tastes best to me anyway in this melange of giant shrimp, pepporoni, ziti, chopped brocolli, mayo, a hint of hot sauce, crushed garlic, pepper, a little salt and onion powder -
030818
...
oldephebe oh and ah a half teaspoon of yellow mustard 030818
...
crimson Chuckle. I just saw this. I am flattered that you thought I could write like Connor Oberst, but.. eh.. I really have no great skill.
I simply blather babble ect.
Maybe I should start using quotation marks more often.
030819
...
crimson Actually, I do use quotations- just not there. Talk about bad timing. 030819
...
paintedmarbles well the animals laugh from the dark of the wilderness, a baby cries hard in an apartment complex. as i pass in a car buried under the influence, the city's driving me out of my mind. I see a child, heís caught in the sad trap of gravity, he falls from the lowest branch of the apple tree. And lands in the grass, and weeps for his dignity. next time he will not aim so high and next time neither will I. Now, a mother takes loans out, sends her kids off to colleges. Her familyís reduced to names on a shopping list. While a coroner kneels beneath the great wooden crucifix, he knows thereís worse things than being alone. And so Iíve learned to retreat at the first sign of danger, I mean, why wait around if itís just to surrender? And ambition Iíve found can lead only to failure, i do not read the reviews. No I am not singing for you. Well I stood droppiní a coin into the pit of a well, and I would throw my whole billfold if I thought it would help. With all these wishes I make i should buy something real, at least a telephone call home. well my teachers they built this retaining wall of memory, all those multiple choices I answered so quickly. And got my grades back, and forgot just as easily, but at least I got an ĎAí. And so I donít have them to blame. Well I should stop pointing fingers, reserve my judgment of all those public action figures and cowboy presidents. so loud behind the bull-horns, so proud they canít admit when theyíve made a mistake, while poison ink spews from a speech writers pen, he knows he donít have to say it, so it donít bother him. Honesty, accuracy, itís just popular opinion. and the approval ratings high, so someoneís gonna die. Well ABC NBC CBS bullshit, they give us fact or fiction. I guess an even split. and each new act of warís tonightís entertainment. weíre still the pawns in their game. as they take eye for an eye until no one can see, we must stumble blindly forward repeating history. well I guess we all fit into that slogan on your fast food marquee...Red blooded white skinned and oh the blues. oh and the blues I got the blues thatís me. well I awoke in relief, my sheets and tubes were all tangled, weak from whiskey and pills in a Chicago hospital. And my father was there in a chair by the window, stariní so far away. I tried talking just whispered ďSo sorry so selfishĒ He stopped me and said ďChild, I love you regardless. There's nothing you could do that would ever change this, Iím not angry, it happens. But you just canít do it againĒ And so now I try to keep up I been exchanging my currency while a million objects pass though my periphery. Now Iím rubbiní my eyes cuz theyíre starting to bother me I been staring too long at the screen. But where was it when I first heard that sweet sound of humility. It came to my ears in the goddamned loveliest melody. how grateful I was then to be part of the mystery, to_love_and_to_be_loved lets just hope that is enough.. 031211
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once again You want a lover you don't have to love... a girl who doesn't give a fuck.

"Your hands are on me. I am pressing hard against your jeans. Your tongue is in my mouth trying to keep the words from coming out."

You want a lover you don't have to love. Someone who won't feel the pain, someone who will play your games. I'm the lover you don't have to love...

"Love is an excuse to get hurt and to hurt."

Hurt me won't you?

Hurt me...
031212
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realistic optimist when i was a wee lad, i used to watch sesame street (long before it had mix dancing muppets). one fine morning, oscar the grouch called one of the adults "bright_eyes." i was stunned. i immediately ran to mommy and asked her if "bright_eyes" was a swear word. she laughed, patted me on the head, and said no that it wasn't. however, to this day, i am leery of the term. it was how oscar the grouch said "bright_eyes." i know it wasn't a nice thing, it was bristling with malice. 031212
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falling_alone i wish someone would kiss my eyelids in the morning as i start to raise my head... 031212
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pd too bright
too bright
goddamn, where's a tissue
when you need it?
031213
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Sw i just found them.. and i love them. 040620
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witchesrequiem not me before 2pm.. 040621
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silentbob turn around 040621
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puredream every now and then I fall apart. 040621
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kookaburra and i need you more tonight 040621
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pete captured in them across from two tables after taking the inagural poetry/prose reading at the singer-songwriter's stage a few minutes over the 15 minute time limit. 040622
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Borealis spawkwy bwight awyes... 040624
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thorn has anybody seen them live recently? i'm probably going to go see them at the end of january.
hopefully, anyway.
050108
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thorn i told a few of my friends about them, because they are awesome. but then one of my friends found a picture of conor, and now all they say is how he's a hot sexy emo boy. and i'm sort of sad that i told them about the music, becuase i feel like they don't really understand it, or really care. and that makes me feel sad.

but i'm feeling sad about everything lately.
050118
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Utah Well, you say that i treat you like a book on a shelf. i dont take you out that often because you know that i've completed you, and thats why you are here. thats the reason you stay here. how awful that must feel.

you said you'd be my dream, i could have you every night, and if by morning i'd forgotten you well no big deal i'd be all right, because you're the reoccuring kind. you are the reoccuring kind. you never really leave my mind.

are you the love of my lifetime bc theres been times i had my doubts. we were just kissed when i first kissed you in the attic of my parents house, and i wish we were there now. that took so long to figure out.... what this book has been about.

now i write when im away, letters that you'll never read. you said go explore those other women, the geography of their bodies but theres just one map you'll need. you're a boomerang, you'll see. you will return to me.

you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will.

you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will you will.

cause if you dont then this books all lies, if you dont then my plans will all be ruined, if you dont i'll start drinking like the way i drank before..
and then i just won't have a future any more.

Christ. My girlfriend didn't get me tickets. If i didn't love her so much it'd be grounds for a breakup.
050118
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silentbob i am wearing their tee shirt 050118
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falling_alone seeing them january 28th.
too bad they're more popular, our seats are far away it seems.
050118
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thorn wow. i saw them last night at the norva. it was pretty great. but what was awesome was, i got to meet conor. my friend's mom talked to people who worked there, and we got to go backstage before the show and talk to him. and he signed my shirt.

i know everyone says he doesn't really like his fans, and i don't blame him at all, but he was nice to us. it was great.
050131
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rage light up when i see you 050830
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brittany. theres a discussion.

well consider yourselves lucky weather he completely fucking hates his fans, or treats them like shit.. you still go to see conor.
070115
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my name it means nothin I think he might be real. He might be "emo" but I think he's still honest. He feels, and expresses it. For some reason I can't stop watching Bright Eyes videos on youtube. I just can't stop, though the ones I watch I have already watched a million times.

And I don't even listen to new music!
And I am not crazy about music that's all about lyrics...
But whatever it is..music, words, looks, clothes, phrasing, voice, whatever...I like them. And I don't care what my reasons are really.
070812
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