ztupider_questions
Flowers from Safeway Welcome to my third page of ztupid questions.
To view the old ones, see:
ztupid_question
ztupid_questions

The ztupid question of the day is:

Have you ever been impacted by the death of someone famous?
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endless desire they make me think and i read their stories and i often mourn or am impacted for short amounts of time. . .but it's always those stories you find in newsweek or cheesy books from 911 about "nobodys" that leave any sort of lasting impact. 030901
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birdmad I think in some way, yes, we all have on some level, but that impact depends on the number of degrees of separation and in what capacity that person was famous

It raises questions on some level or other that would not need to be asked or answered if that person had not died

actor, athlete, writer, politician, musician.

fans of the artists and athletes must ponder the fact that there will be no more to come from the dead and subjects and constituents of politicians have to cope with the change of the power that governs their world
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realistic optimist only when they land on me. or run me over on their way to hades. 030901
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oldephebe yeah - when sammy davis died, i actually cried - and was depressed for several weeks, here's the thing - he represented to me the quintessential entertainer - singer dancer actor musician (yes he could play just about every instrument in a jazz band, and plat it well) conductor, and bon vivant - his abject sycophancy - abject obeisance to Sinatra kind of detracted from that, and the whole trying to scrub out every indice of that essential "quality" that endowed him with his gifts - sure it was shrewd and it made him exponetially more money - but any way I'd always dreamed of having my own big band - playing lead alto - singing - then hopping on the drums for a few tunes, play a little trumpet (i actually used to play a little trumpet, well i could fake it to the untrained ear) i even fooled around with theatre for a while - what with my penchant for speechifying and the overtly dramatic - the careening and vassilating between emotional antipodes -but ah yeah sammy davis represented - just as harry connnick, sinatra, dean martin, gregory hines, that really skinny woman who used to play fraziers's wife - liza minelli before she hit the sauce - her mom - yeah a lot of these names are from my parents or grand parents time - but i guess i've got an old soul - so yeah and when sinatra died - yeah that hit me pretty hard - not the man dying but the talent wich had withered markedly over the last 15 years of his life, was now finally extinguished - sinatra's phrasing was sheer genious - his intuition, his shading..he was simply one of the finest singers of the 20th century - okay i'm done

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celestias shadow when Joe Strummer died. It really bothers you a lot, I think, because when you've listened to this music and loved it so much it's become a part of you, it's hard to let one of its creators go. You have to cope with the fact that it's done. It's over. There will be no more of this exact band, this precise music. And at first that's pretty tough to deal with.

I believe if I'd been old enough to remember when Kurt Cobain died, it would have hurt me in the same way. I will eat a sock if no one else on blather says Kurt Cobain's death impacted them. Because they were old enough.
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ShilohLives Hey!! I'm back...Unfortuneatly I still can't spell and I have never been impacted by a famous person..dead or alive. 030901
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oldephebe yeah kurt cobaines death was senseless - i've never quite come to terms with how a young guy with that talent, at the top of his game could be in such agony that it drove him take his life in such a violent manner - i have a few of his CD's and sometimes I listen for the sadness, for an indice of that desolation that ate at him ate at him even when he'd reached the pinnacle of his promise, he'd climbed the dreamspires and built his home there - such a talent - such a waste - why?

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imposter In lack of Flowers today, I think I will jump in and get the ball rolling:

Do you have someone special you love (besides family, of course)?
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imposter (Hope i didn't step on anyone's toes or was too out-of-line with this) 030902
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User24 you should all know the answer to that by now.

but in a friendship sense, I feel for and with a lot of you.
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User24 and for yesterday's question;

no, not really, Mr Cobain didn't enter my life until after his death, although I feel that he could have given more musically, his death didn't and hasn't affected me.

Diana, on the other hand, is a different matter, for me, it unveiled the hypocrital, parasitic nature of my fellow human beings, in their mock grief and heartache 'she will never be forgotten' my arse.

(apologies to anyone who actually did know anything about her before she died)
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blah 030902
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misstree only as water brothers.

heh. screw "only"--that runs far deeper than any pairing. that's the kind of love i would chop off my hand for, if one of a handful of people asked me, because i trust them and know that love is returned, and if they asked it of me they had reason enough to.

the love that shows up in pop songs couldn't even talk me out of a pinkie.
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birdmad going back to the original question, i would say in a somewhat direct and indirect method, a former state ttreasurer of the State of Pennsylvania had a peculiar impact on me.

He wasn't famous in life and is now an obscure footnote, but the means by which he managed to die all over a press conference made him briefly famous...enough so that somebody wrote a hit song about it

that's all i'm gonna say about that
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nomme impacted by the death of anyone famous?
i think we all affect
the unknown_affects
we feel the effects
of everything

i am sure i can think of a few names
new and ancient

when i first read the question one of the answers in my brain was kurt_cobain
but i wasn't going to say anything cause a lot of times i type only to delete
and then the mention of him
well at the time of his death i was in the process of learning his every song
stuff i never heard and i was mad and crazy for the way kurt wrote and the poetry of how it caught my attention
it was odd really when i first heard of nirvana i wasn't listening to most music so i would basically hear it at friend's places, and i liked it but was no big thing

then i really felt myself attracted to it at a time i was reaching for something
and then he died
and no more nirvana but everybody increasingly analyzing it all
and i could see the music scene around me changing
at the time i really felt it
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mon and on another note
Diana Krall's mom was my school librarian in grade one and two
she was really nice she told me what my name meant i remember the big atlas she showed me
and she always let me take alice_in_wonderland out but she'd say don't you think anyone else will ever want to read that? but i couldn't leave it on the shelf for long and she seemed to understand. she was an awesome librarian. anyway there's more i could say but i should prolly shutup
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mon and in_case you're wondering why_i just posted that last story...
i don't know if Mrs. Krall is still alive, she had/has cancer,...i hope she is still living??? when i heard she was so sick i remembered her and how kind she was to myself and my family,
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mon anyway it's her daughter is the famous one, but there is a story there too
blah blah blah
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oldephebe people i love outside of family - well i'd say a lovely woman from georgia, who is still radiantly beautiful even at age seventy, and her three beautiful daughters - she helped me and my sister through some really rough times, and even now, i consult her wisdom, her unconditional love - i don't visit her that often though - and this pricks her ire, she doesn't understand that when i visit her home, i sense her aura, her love so intensly that it is hard for me to leave, and then i'm left feeling kind of deflated for a few days - she doesn't know this - so i'll suffer her ire - she is a wonderful mother and grandmother as well - i'm in total awe of her whenever i have the honour of being around her

i wonder about that so called state of perfect indifferance - what would be the net loss of attaining such a rarefied state of consciousness?
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oldephebe people i love outside of family - well i'd say a lovely woman from georgia, who is still radiantly beautiful even at age seventy, and her three beautiful daughters - she helped me and my sister through some really rough times, and even now, i consult her wisdom, her unconditional love - i don't visit her that often though - and this pricks her ire, she doesn't understand that when i visit her home, i sense her aura, her love so intensly that it is hard for me to leave, and then i'm left feeling kind of deflated for a few days - she doesn't know this - so i'll suffer her ire - she is a wonderful mother and grandmother as well - i'm in total awe of her whenever i have the honour of being around her

i wonder about that so called state of perfect indifferance - what would be the net loss of attaining such a rarefied state of consciousness?
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oldephebe sorry guys i don't know why it keeps posting double,

is embarrassed
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mon
i was just thinking , vaguely remembering a conversation with my sister from last year,...
so i checked google.
rest_in_peace mrs. krall
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Flowers from Safeway Who can think up the most creative excuse for why I'm late today? 030902
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imposter I have no idea. That's why I took it into my own hands to ask a ztupid_question today. Sorry, I hope I didn't step on the toes of my_blather_poet

Still, I hope people answer my question. I thought it was interesting, and many of the responses are beautiful. I like seeing into people's hearts, if but for a moment.
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imposter Or, perhaps you were attacked by a rabid stampede of lemmings rampaging to the sea cliffs, and were so badly mauled that you had to crawl home (and no one would stop to help you because of the rain cloud that followed over your head). Of course, when you got home, your first act after using some hand sanitizer was to post today's question, which I had already selfishly usurped. Again, I hope I didn't step on (the already badly damaged) toes of one of my_blather_poets (think I got the link right that time)

Lemmings can be rough, friend
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Flowers from Safeway No toes were stepped on, friend. I like that people enjoy this page, and sometimes situations involving lemmings can keep me from my computer.

I just blindly posted without looking, so I hadn't seen your question. If I had seen it, I wouldn't have asked mine (which was far ztupider and not as interesting).

So for my ztupid answer:
I have many platonic loves. Even though I'm not very social, I have strong feelings for friends I have, and friends I had in the past. I think a lot about people I once knew and wish them well in my heart every day. There are people in my life now I would do just about anything for. My co-workers at the Theatre are very dear to me, and so are blatherskites and other internet friends.

I trust you will all be gagging now.
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karl the weed well i think the best excuse is that you were eaten by a walrus and that obviously takes a while to sort out. people i love outside of family? yeah, i have a teacher whos actually a really good friend, and ferret. i dont know wht id do without them. 030902
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karl the weed well i think the best excuse is that you were eaten by a walrus and that obviously takes a while to sort out. people i love outside of family? yeah, i have a teacher whos actually a really good friend, and ferret. i dont know wht id do without them. 030902
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karl the weed well i think the best excuse is that you were eaten by a walrus and that obviously takes a while to sort out. people i love outside of family? yeah, i have a teacher whos actually a really good friend, and ferret. i dont know wht id do without them. 030902
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karl the weed LOL! ive never seen a triple post. oops oh well. 030902
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imposter OK, so I know I'm new here and all, but I think I've got some good (revolutionary!) ideas for ztupid_questions that we all love so much. I think the questioner should answer his (or her, whenever endless cameos) questions at the end of the day!

As an answer to my own previous question, yes, I love someone outside of my family very much. She is everything to me, and I love her with all I have. I sincerely believe she is the one for me, and I hope she feels the same about me. (smiles)

And I have a new question, too (If you don't mind again, Safeway -- I know you can get busy)!

Why do we all love the wonderful, incomparable Flowers from Safeway so much?
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Flowers from Safeway In case folks don't share the adoring sentiment, here's another question:

What is the most annoying Tv commercial?
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celestias shadow the coors light commercials with the twins. they make me doubt humanity as a whole. they also make me want to pull out my AK-47 and shoot myself repeatedly in the head. 030903
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imposter To answer my own question, I love Flowers because I think he is honest, genuine, and loving. Especially the last part. The support and love he shows his fellow blatherskites is so touching, it moves me.

Thank you for being so open, Flowers.

And the most annoying commercial has to be anything by Skip and Steve for Robbins Brothers. I know its on the radio, but by far it wins.

(sorry for asking that question again, Flowers)
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endless desire i actually love skip and steve. they are one of my favourites. least favourite has to go to the "judging amy" commmercial right now on TNT b/c they are in the middle of law_and_order and they are everywhere and they aren't even very good commercials. or those adelphia ones.

i love safeway because i always have.
but it doesn't really matter why,
he is just wonderful. and obviously, modest.
oh, and for creating ztupid_questions.
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Flowers from Safeway Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted? 030904
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karl the weed oh, funny you should say that, just today!
*sits in a corner and glares at anyone who dares to look his way*
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delial Yes.

I don't trust very easily anymore.
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misstree in love, any imperfection is a minor betrayal. been betrayed in bigger ways, never so horribly shattering that it immediately comes to mind, except the first time i was cheated on... and that was a very strange case...

outside of love, never.
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imposter Yes, and painfully so.

At the time, he was one of my only friends in the world. I trusted him. And he was consoling me through one of the roughest times of my life -- the girl I loved had just inexplicably dumped me.

While I cried on his shoulder and he assured me with "There, there . . ."

He was going down on her

Fuck you -- both. Still.
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Flowers from Safeway Do you want to have kids? How many? 030905
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misstree as many as i can fit on an industrial-sized grill. 030905
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endless desire yes for betrayal.
yes for kids.
i'm gonna pop em out like crazy.
i need a big family to sustain me.
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imposter Yes, I want kids.

Lots of little girls.
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delial Yes...2. 030905
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Flowers from Safeway What is the most disturbing image in your recollection? Something that haunts you? 030906
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karl the weed seriously...
i went to the funeral of this kid i knew who commited suicide and there was an open coffin. i was in 8th grade.
(ok im not that much older now, but the point is that i am/was emotionally... ummm.... vulnerable thats the word i was searching for.
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pobodys nerfect I love ztupid_questions,but I've gotten behind lately. :/ Time to play catch up.

sept. 3:The most annoying commercial is a(sort of)local car commercial where two
idiots say this one word in a certain way that makes me wish i could jump through the tv and strangle them both.
sept. 4:I was betrayed by two so-called
"friends" in high school. I couldn't forgive either one of them.
sept. 5:I get a little sad when I see the baby clothes in the stores,
especially the things for little girls because I only have nephews. I think I'd be a good parent too. Realistically though,it's not likely. It's sort of putting the cart before the horse,so to speak.
sept. 6:My most disturbing recollection was when my cat Sampson died. I'd had this feeling the night before that I should've kept him inside that night, but he got out. My parents were going to pick strawberries the next day,but they came back and got something a few minutes later. Then they came back a second time. I went to the window and saw my father carrying something black on the end of a shovel. And then I figured out what it was. :(
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endless desire i have a few very disturbing recollection, but they seem too personal to me that i don't think it would feel right to tell people. why would i want to write something disturbing down? i don't know. that's just me. 030906
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niska upon leaving the club, a guy (about 10 or 20) says, "come on... is it really cheating if the girl i slept with is hotter than my girlfriend?"

anyone wanna field that?
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imposter That night, falling, screaming and crying.

That night, onto the floor, in the hospital.

That night, bundled up, in that room, with him lying right there.

That night my uncle died.
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Flowers from Safeway Do you have any interesting (or ztupid) ideas for a new invention? 030907
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ferret kids? sure! hundreds, thousands maybe.
hmmmm...... disturbing? what's that mean? lol
how about a life saver that lasts forever
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pobodys nerfect I don't know if it already exists or not,but I think it would be kinda neat if those ultramatic beds that raise and lower themselves came with a timer that would raise the bed up in the morning. Or maybe even dump you out of bed altogether. My second oldest nephew could sure use it. :D 030907
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imposter When I was in the sixth grade I drew up plans on how to build both a laser and a water-powered car.

By the time I got through science years later, I discovered that my laser never would have worked -- part of the schematic contained a "mixing chamber" where heat and light were mixed into a beam.

But, surprisingly, my 6th grade plans for a car powered by water were valid and scientifically sound.
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minnesota_chris I didn't really miss Princess Di, but I kept forgetting she was dead, it was weird. I made a little shrine to her, drank some wine and sang "Goodbye Norma Jean" (before Elton John did it!).

I've been betrayed, but who cares. At least I've never been cruel. Neglectful yes, but never deliberately cruel.

I've thought of tons of inventions. Cell phone/MP3 player, thought of it (before they had MP3 players even!) Um, Triominoes. Yes, yes, nobody likes triominoes, but I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST!

A gas powered model plane with two digital camcorders on it, that would pipe the signal to a helmet with two little TV screens on it, so you could see what the plane was flying over in 3-D.

I want to make a sail-raft out of styrofoam and wooden pallets. It'd be even cooler if I could make a catamaran-raft.

I had a good invention, one I wanted to keep secret for fear of someone else making it... but now I can't remember it :(
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Flowers from Safeway Do you cook? What is your specialty? 030908
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minnesota_chris shrimp and tomatoe and basil pasta, pad thai, sushi, sauteed squash, I can cook about anything. 030908
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misstree occasionally; i rarely wish to spend the time and effort, and i surround myself with men that cook.

when i do cook, it often has a side of the most delicious garlic bread ever. i've also become known for hangover omlettes (lots of bacon and veggies, and random food coloring for that extra special touch ;) and i cook debbie potatoes, a tin foil campfire creation, at swordfighting events to feed the masses.

but mostly i leave it to my husband.
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delial I used to...I have been meaning to pick it up again.
My specialty? Cookies!
I used to make a new kind each week.
Experimenting is yummy.
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minnesota_chris I'd like the debbie potatoes recipe, please. 030909
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Flowers from Safeway Are you at all like your parents? 030909
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misstree very much so, but also unique. my father was a very logical skeptic, and a hedonist in his own way (good foods, luxury within our means), and a bit emotionally distant. my mother was practical and unembarassable, caring and kind and could fix absolutely anything. i don't have either of their practicality, but i do have all sorts of ghosts of them, and i love them for it. but i still have no idea where this obsession with words and playfulness comes from--that's all me.

as for the recipe, see 'skite_recipes
(and debbie potatoes is named after my mother, strangely enough...)
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endless desire i look like my mother. . .just like her.
crazy like her.
sometimes i say some of her weird sayings but that's just because i'm around her more.

i act like my father, though. my papa.
playful and free, read me like a book kind of person. he has a perfect moment for everything. in a second he can be totally serious and intelligent and the next a complete goof. he isn't afraid to step out of his comfort zone, like my mum.

but i look just liike her.
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imposter Seeing as how I have never even seen a picture of my father, I really can't say. I do look a lot like my mom, though. Carbon-copy, almost.

My mother says the only feature I got from my father were my lips. I have my father's lips.

She always liked my lips, so. . .

Thanks Dad, I guess.
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Flowers from Safeway Have you ever been camping? 030910
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misstree ha! i grew up going camping with my parents, often in wisconsin, sometimes lazy canoe trips... it was bliss, i think every parent should take their kids camping, i love it and i love how it shaped me, and it was a great way to get a mini-vacation. nowadays the only camping i really do is going to swordfighting events, and that's between 100-500 people in a group campground, it's roughing it, but it's not camping. 030910
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minnesota_chris YAY YAY YAY I found a place where I can camp for free! It's this schlocky little park, down by the river. I drove by this morning for the hell of it and I smelt a campfire! I checked it out, a bonfire was still burning (at 8:30 am!) I thought, excellent, a place to burn things. And I looked around, it looked just brambly enough to pitch a little tent and eat peanutb butter sandwiches and sausage where no one could see me. Hooray! 030910
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celestias shadow but of course 030910
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monadh Hollyburn in the autumn trees afire with red and golden falling leaves
we stayed in this big old log cabin i was surprised to see
everything i saw
what a relief from the city below
i remember sitting out under the stars there were blueberry bushes growing wild entangling my heart with their wildness
we ate pasta and garlic bread from Safeway, funnyily enough
i remember that was when i met him for real he was born in the year of the sheep
he a bit older became my brother's friend my friend's boyfriend after i moved away i learned he had died and oh that was tragic
i always wanted to know him more


i climed to the top shoes with no socks i had forgotten to brought i had to carry the big backpack with all the stuff and we climbed to the top all the way to the top and it was rocky up there i was amazed at the view we sat eating our lunches in the sunshine on the rock i put pieces of cookies, terribly really for me to feed them to the birds so many little birds i didn't know their names they landed on my arms eating as photos were taken later shown in a slideshow i never got to see
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notme okay i laughed reading back forget forgive my typos and this and that 030910
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imposter Always, I love it

Joshua Tree, Anza Borego, Baja California, San Onofre, Lone Pine, Big Pine, Kern River

and many others.
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delial Camping? Yes! Nothing more fun than roasting marshmallows over an open fire with a blanket of stars over your head...and hearing ghost stories.

The bugs getting into your sleeping_bag ain't no fun, though.
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endless desire many times. campings fun.
i love backpacking
and camping at the beach
or the lake, too, i suppose.
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Flowers from Safeway What's the most depressed you've ever been? 030911
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karl the weed that should get a good response 030911
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imposter Three weeks ago, maybe? That was pretty bad. Sophomore year of high school, too. Right now? Maybe. . . I don't know, I ride the roller coaster because it's the only thing we've got.

Things can get pretty f-ed up sometimes, and my personality type never seems to help matters.

Only making it worse. See?
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Flowers from Safeway What are the pros and cons of donating sperm? 030912
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nomme well pro you will be helping and that i am sure must do a world of good
con you will be losing something you might never find again
you might be walking down the street and not notice the man walking passed you as your own son he might become your boss at work or the guy you hit with your car
how many children might you father to never know to perhaps pass or meet or know but never know as your own kin
and how might they wonder at the man they never knew will they wonder if their father resembled the man on the street the employee at work the guy who caused the accident last friday
well you might get that same effect from going to a bar/whatever and bibbidy bobbidy boo but unless you are hyperactive in that department the sperm bank is going to hold the record for anonymous distribution of your genes
and all those people will be carrying around a part of you a genetic imprint every action you took every inaction and the lives of all your ancestors stretching back as far as ever goes
it is all there in some genetic cellular memory bank shaping new lives eventually nations
but then perhaps otherwise(situations differ) you might not ever father and so would it be good to let it waste?

i didn't hardly sleep much my thoughts are kinda muffled my brain scattered

waking up
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monadh not to say it is wrong to be fatherless (as far as raising) or to be childless (as far as knowing)
but if that connection (generations bridges build) exists unbroken is it not a beautiful thing
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endless desire most depressed? now. right now.
it's never been like this before
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nisus nisus sends love to endless. we like you. you write nifty poetry. life is a sine wave... things will get better. just hang in there. 030912
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Flowers from Safeway What's your favorite book right now? 030913
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imposter A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers.

That plus John, Luke, 1 John, 1 Corinthians, Romans, and 1 Peter from the New Testament.

Ooh and I just finished The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Good stuff.
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endless desire i came to hear to answer a question
and left with a smile.
this too shall pass. it always does.
but i hate sitting here
knee deep in muck and sadness,
knowing that the water's only rising.
thank you nisus.
(i care that you changed your name, btw. and i noticed. so don't think no one did)

for the ztupid_question. well i don't know. my two favourite books i haven't read in quite a while. i get into reading phases, where i'll i do is read. now i just write poems in the_book. it's a writing phase, i suppose. i guess i really didn't answer the question.
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User24 My favourite book always, is Virus by molly brown, closely followed, if not equalled by 'invitation to the game' by ... (can't remember) 030913
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Flowers from Safeway Do you gaze at sunsets or rainbows? Tell us about a time when you took a long moment to enjoy something beautiful. Prefrebly non-human, we all gaze at beautiful people of course. 030914
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imposter see: golden 030914
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endless desire http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/polkadotell/lst?.dir=/thesearethebeautifulthings&.view=t

i wasn't trying to take beautiful pictures, i just wanted to remember backpacking. anyways, they aren't all that great. the one with the rainbow even has a tip of my finger in it. but they are beautiful. no one can deny that.
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Flowers from Safeway If there was a cartoon about you, what kind of anthropomorphic animal would you be? 030915
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oldephebe not really too much of anything right now - i used to be a voracious reader up until the age of 14 - i mean i'll read magazine every now and then, or the Bible, (really need to be more disciplined about that) the last book i actually in it's entirety was hmm maybe three years ago, a collection of DFW's eassys..you know the lapsed tennis adept who traverses the word of science and math as easily as he does the world of literature, don't read nearly as much as i shoul - umm the sports pages, if i need to bone up on something for work, ah..what else..well at lot of blather - Rev. Monbleau's "you don't find water on the mountain top" distributed by lovinggrace.org - and ah aside from a really bruised robert frost compendium/collection and other infrequent lapses into my bibliophile obessive habits..eclectic ephemera and what not i'd say not much..should read more though..my son attends this school for the gifted so pretty soon i guess i'll have to bone up on somethings
to help him out..right now it's not too much of a problem..hmm

oh and the whole depression question - um i've always carried the cloud, not exactly big news..um most people with poetic sensibilities seem to play the oscillation minuet with their emotions..bring on the buffeting already..i guess as those folks on the my comfort blathe say..the treasure of light bequeathed to us (or anyone who practises that faith) by the Bible gives me somwthing to moor my soul to..

i've gotta catch up on the other questions though..

later,
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oldephebe oh and on the whole do i see aspects of of my parents in me question - ah i've ot major, major issues with that one so i think i'll just respectfully decline that one..still haven't quite put those demons to bed yet..hmm yeah there's a bit of them both swimming in the ol' genetic soup, sometimes more than 'd like to acknowledge..

these are some really great questions
FFS
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imposter I would either be a walrus, or a jungle cat.

rar splash
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misstree i still haven't found my totem, though i've searched (unless it actually is a damn tree, which i think may be the case). i know i've got pieces of stray cat, rabbit, wolf, and otter, but none really strong enough to claim as an anthropomorphic nature. i'm just a poor widdle human.

and contemplating the blend of walrus and jungle cat is exceedingly entertaining.
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Flowers from Safeway Who is your biggest artistic influence? 030916
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misstree tom_robbins, if anyone, though i wrote as i do and lived as i do before i found him. but he's the only influence i can actually point at. 030916
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imposter Two parts: generally whoever I am reading at the time, but far more than that. . .

Her. My muse. Inspiration. Always has been.
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delial Cartoon question answer: rabbit.

Artistic influence:

picasso, escher. I'd have to say, though, that usually it isn't a "who" but a "what" that inspires me.
which is nature, life experiences, and emotions.

emotions and experiences are a big part of what inspires and influences me.
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Flowers from Safeway Are you a talkitive person outside of blather? 030917
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ShilohDances YES!!! yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!..well...sorta...YES! It depends on the person tho.. 030917
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endless desire haha what do you think?
i talk like mad.
or usually.
i don't always talk to much anymore.
but ME, the real me i've always been,
talks all the time. to everyone.
and way to much.
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minnesota_chris very talkative and social and LOUD

, quiet down!
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imposter Si, senor. Yo hablo mucho, pero yo no dice mucho en espanol porque no se espanol muy bueno. Yo quiero fluencia. Fracais es muy sexo. Ingles es mi lingua mejor. 030917
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misstree heh. if i'm around people i know/like, hell yes. if i'm caffeinated, you can't shut me up. if i'm drunk, i'm belligerent and perky and you can't shut me up. if i'm around people i don't know, or have a reason to appear normal to (eg coworkers), i'm damn near invisible. 030917
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karl the weed oh god yeah 030917
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pobodys nerfect With close friends,sometimes. Depends on my mood and if I have anything to add to the conversation. With family and new acquaintances,I speak as little as possible. I have don't share much in common with my family and I'm VERY quiet around new people. Cab drivers are the worst--I relate to that episode where Elaine pretended to be deaf with one(and I think I'd do it if I didn't live in such a small town):) 030917
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Flowers from Safeway What is your favorite quote? 030918
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misstree hmm. re above, i actually find myself talking to random strangers relatively often--there's no reason to care what they think of me, and reaching out through loneliness and boredom and invisible walls to see what kind of soul is across from you on the bus can be very gratifying, and i like making strangers smile.

hah. i've got 74 pages of quotes formally collected; you want to take your pick?

if i really had to choose, it might be "day draws near / another one / do what you can" from a poem by czeslaw milosz, it might be nearly anything by rw emerson, it might be something tom robbins said... hrmm... but when it comes down to it, i think "live by the foma that makes you wise and brave and happy and free" is the one i come back to the most.
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endless desire i suppose i can't pick just one. . .
what's yours, safeway?
you never answer your own questions.
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imposter too many

I know he doesn't -- that was one of my suggestions when I temporarily commandeered the ztupidness.

We want answers!!! The people have spoken! OK, so just myself and endless, but still! We're people!
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endless desire i don't need supporters.
i'm a one woman protest,
and i'm happy that way.
so there.
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endless desire yes and yes.
queen of prescriptions.
this is kind of a lame question though, safeway
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imposter I was a really, really sick child (see eyedream_history_prtrait). So sick I could never go out and play. I took so many drugs when I was a kid they had to kepe switching them becasue I became immune -- and made even more complicated because I'm allergic to penicillin. But after I got better, I have never been on much. Vicodin a couple times, but nothing else really. I was lucky that I didn't need pills for my depression, therapy alone got me through it. 030919
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imposter eyedream_history_portrait * 030919
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Flowers from Safeway Endless:
Yes, I know. They can't all be gems. Although I don't think this one is any worse than asking if you have allergies.

Besides, they're called "ztupid" for a reason.

Anyway, check out my ztupid_answers
That's right. I am finally answering these things.
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Flowers from Safeway Has anyone you've known committed suicide? 030920
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imposter Commited? No. Attempted with sincerity? yes. 030920
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nom i never met him i
was two when he died
but i knew him, i know him, in a way that only i,...
because i feel this connection, this root that ties me to him, this presence with me now as i type it is like a part of him typing from within

my grandfather

stories of him are few
how he laid foundations
how you could see the lights across the town
how his mother died when he was born

i beg to know more

pictures photgraphs his face recently i looked upon
a new face new photographs i had never seen



they found him in the river
an old man
he had gone out in the middle of the night in his bed clothes

i can't believe it, i almost refuse to accept it,
he had been so ill from exposure
in his autobody shop, in the days before they wore masks around chemicals,
when my father would help him,
my father so like him in his own ways

he was an inventor
solar technology mid 1900's
second world war
he got a special medal from the King

he never knew me but maybe he did
maybe he was told of my birth, what did he think then? did he like my name? if he met me now would he see himself, would he see her, would he see myself in me?

i found an old obituary i had never read. he was interested in research like me! he was trying to track down his roots like me! i think he would be glad i was finding his surname in old records. did he dream of cornwall? did he dream like me?

they found him in the river the river my father left the river they crossed the ocean to get to
the river how deep how red
it does run through my blood.
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delial My sister's boyfriend killed himself rather recently. 030920
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Flowers from Safeway What was the most touching thing you have read on blather? 030921
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Flowers from Safeway Boy.
That was was just too ztupid, I guess.
Do have have any living grandparents?
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Flowers from Safeway Since no one is answering, I'm going to take a break from asking. Feel free to ask your own ztupid questions, or ask_safeway. 030923
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endless desire i have 5 grandpas, 5 grandmas and one great-grandma. they all have very distinct personalities.

i'm sorry i'm not answering questions. but unfortunately, i am trapped. so i can't do much of anything. including what i'm doing right now. i should probably go, right?
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endless desire come back. i miss the questions.
it gave me something to do on blather
no matter what.
now i feel like i don't belong.
i always hate that feeling.
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Flowers from Safeway If your house caught fire and you had time to save three things, what would they be? 030928
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delial as long as pets and people had gotten out first, I'd say:

tubby (the teddy bear I've had since I was a baby)
my pink thermal blanket (i've had as long as my bear)
and his shirt

I'm such a sap.
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misstree my poetry book or my patchwork journal (probably the latter, as i have all of the first either memorized or tucked away)

nobody (a halloween decoration that i may or may not have blathed about)

my pearl dragon statue (windstone editions, i think) that davie gave me almost 10 years ago. it's a little piece of sanity.

the rest can burn, it can be replaced.
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Flowers from Safeway Do you know anyone who is blind or deaf? 030929
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Flowers from Safeway Do you have siblings? Tell us about them. Or if not, please tell us about being an only child? 031001
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endless desire i'd save the photo albums because i love pictures.

i'd save my blanky because sleeping would not be the same without it.

and i'd save Mr. Bun.

i've never known anyone very well who was deaf or blind.

i have four brothers and one sister. first there is Raul. he is 18 and he is a great brother but very overprotective. for good reason i suppose. we're really close. then there is thomas and frederic. they are both in 8th grade. tom is 14 and fred will be 14 tomorrow. we always call them the twins but techinically, tom and raul are my stepbrothers and i am not really mexican at all. man do i wish i was though. but we've all been a family for so long, i don't even remember who is from who anymore. then there is annie. she is only 10 but it seems strange that she is so old already because i remember every detail about the day she was born. and the way she wouldn't open her eyes. i thought she was like those puppies who won't open their eyes until they are a few weeks older. i used to read books about puppies at my grandmas house. i was so sure she was a puppy. when i was a little girl, i had these three brothers and a little sister who was only 2 or so. she wasn't any use for me. so i was with my brothers all the time. i grew up a tom boy who wore lacy sandals. short hair, ears pierced, babysitters club, dirty and fearless. all because of my siblings and the loudness and the energy i love.

ryan was born last year. he's my half brother and he is literally the cutest thing i have ever seen in my life. i am absolutely in love with him. i'll show you all pictures sometime. i show pictures to everyone i know. . .kind of like those grandparents who carry wallets full of them.

im sorry. i wrote too much. but i have a lot of siblings and i like them because they have shaped who i am.
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misstree okay, for the last question, the answer is only in passing... there was a guy at my school that was in the computer rooms a lot who was deaf, we would talk occasionally... there was also a guy who worked at the bar/restraunt i used to, he was there to do all the grunt work (cleaning, repairs, etc) and the owner treated him like shit... he started getting drunk too much and not coming in, and a couple of times got waaaay smashed at the bar, so he got fired... last i know he was bussing for a steakhouse, seemed like a lot better place... one of the people i talk to at work a lot has a husband who lost his sight to diabetes, so we've talked about that a bit... but that's mostly the extent of that one, for me.

so, i was an only child. wow, how it affects me, FfS, you're asking me to describe the effects of something that starts way down at my roots, if you will. growing up i kind of preferred it that way, i was incredibly introverted (not so much shy, just saw kids as little aliens, much as i do today), so i think having a sibling would have, i dunno, it might have overpowered me, made me slink back, or maybe i would have been forced to be outgoing.

my parents divorced when i was 5, but it didn't really faze me too much... i think having a sib would have made it a lot tougher, with someone besides the doggie to worry about.

people say that only kids are spoiled brats. i think they're wrong. i was just treated like another human being, i was no one's little princess, and while money wasn't too terribly tight (usually... remember camping in the living room by candle light with hot dog dinners a few times), it wasn't free-flowing enough that i was ever really spoiled.

so, yeah, only child, and really really glad that i was able to grow up without having another little alien running around, bumping their life into mine every single day. a lot of who i am is because i was able to grow up isolated from a many socialization forces, and a sibling would have changed that dramatically.
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endless desire actually. i do know someone who is deaf. one of my brother's friends. he was actually really attractive too. very nice guy. i've only talked to him a few days though. a lot of girls at church were interested in him. the deaf thing seems to almost spark there interest.

being deaf = turn on
who knew?
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crimson I have one elder sister who answers to the name Laurel. She is freckled, with heavy dark chocolate coils that fall past her shoulders and lively hazel eyes surrounded by thick lashes. Her well-defined eyebrows are of similar thickness. I often commented on the perfection of her lips, rosy and softly, beautifully rounded.
She and I look very little alike. (I, shaven head and pale complexion, have angry pink lips and a slightly smaller, differently shaped nose. My forehead is a longer and underlined by narrow brows.) My bluegreyblue eyes are, however, defined by the same long lashes. Our bone structures are similar, as are our short, boyish figures and long, narrow digits. When younger, we used to convince people that we were adopted. Genetic strangers
Laurel is a worrier- as my mother says, a type AAA. She likes schedules and planning and being on time. She is very active, very dramatic. Joy spills from beneath her orthodontist-perfect teeth and over her sister-perfect lips. Her laugh is a great force; it easily comes about and is, therefore, easily depended upon.
She sleeps naked. We used to share a room. I remember going into the bedroom one night after she was asleep and glancing at her. The resting pose was something I should have liked to photograph and later paint. Fetal, draped in loose curls and freckles, her body was covered faultlessly by wrinkled dragonfly sheets. Thighs, soft stomach and breasts, neck and fragile arms were all gently exposed. It was striking, really.
She looks surprised in most of her photos; as though, after pausing and releasing her smile, she had expected more than just a flash

my thoughts, for the moment, are completely drained
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endless desire that was beautiful. just beautiful.

are there ever things you just wish you could say where your own? that was beautiful.
031005
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nomme What was the most touching thing you have read on blather? (i can't answer this, sorry...i tried and deleted, it was too difficult.

Do have have any living grandparents?
my grandma ..(my mom's mom) i love her so much, and i miss her as we live a fair distance apart. i can't remember a time when i didn't know her. she taught me how to crochet.
my grandpa (my mom's dad) he lives about an hour or so from me, and is 92 now, his silvery white hair was once red. i met him first at a restaurant in victoria when i was about six going on seven. he just built a haybarn and is taking algebra again, having just retaken canadian history.


the question about fire scares me. sorry.
i used to go through this scenario over and over in my mind (i had a whole exit route planned on paper for my stuffed toys when i was 8). i think at this point i don't really want to think about fire so i will stop typing about it


blind or deaf? my grandpa has a really hard time hearing (don't tell him i said that) , it makes communication difficult but we do get to talk sometimes. i also know several people with serious sightloss.

as far as siblings go,
i'm the youngest one without curls in a bunch that's not quite brady. two sisters, three brothers. my oldest brother has a different biological father but my dad raised him as his own, other than that we're all from the same ma and pa.
people used to call us the_brady_bunch,
i used to watch show when i was a kid, and i'd imagine all our faces where the real actors heads go,..you know,.. in the boxes... when the show starts...oh nevermind hlah! i stopped doing that at some point. we're nothing like the brady bunch.
.
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crimson nomme, wow. ::glow:: I loved reading that.
And endless desire: I read things so beautiful that I wish they were mine every time get onto blather. Some of which are, of course, yours.
031015
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nom :) 031015
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The Resurrectionist resurrection 131130
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