Dafremen This is a continuation of:

Please ask up to 5 questions and I will try to answer truthfully and in a manner which it has been said "is insightful when.." it "...doesn't suck, which.." it "..usually does. Suck that is."
ferret 1. who are you?
2. who am i?
3. who are we?
4. can you tell me where to find God?
5. is it possible to see the color narange?
Dafremen 1. I am one of the lunkiest hunks of stuff in the universe. I'm the receiver of a gift beyond all gifts. I am alive. Nice to meet you.

2. You are as am I. You may or may not have developed your belief system fully or you may have. Regardless, we come from the same place. We're going back there again. We are kin. Nice to meet you.

3. We together are the two most precious gifts given to humanity. The audience and the entertainer. In any order you like.

4. Yes and no. God is inside of you and all around you. God comes to different people in many guises. God comes to the same people in different guises. I am a pantheist. For me it is enough to know that I was created by the universe. Here I am when so much around me does not have this chance right now. I am lucky. I am liberated from the dirt. I am given a chance to show my appreciation and before I know it, my turn will be over. I will show everything my appreciation. I have found God in everything around me. You will find God where God appears to you. You will know you have found God, I don't know how to describe the sensation, but you will know it when you feel it.

5. Yes and no. I have no idea what colors they will come up with next. The human eye can distinguish more colors than you can shake a Crayola 64 box at. So although no, technically, you cannot see might be able to a see a color that remains nameless today, but that some day will be known as narange. Secondarily, there is a rare condition ( SYNAETHESIA ) that allows people to see colors when sounds are translated by their brains. These people might be able to see a color or pattern when the word "narange" is spoken, which might qualify as another yes.
x 1) How much of this had to do with your "experiment"?
2) What was your experiment again? Being an asshole?
3) Can deliberately being an asshole really be considered an experiment?
4) How do you know that that isn't just how you really are?
5) Once and for all, do you, or do you not, like kittens?
Dafremen 1. None of it. What experiment?

2. Well that's not exactly experiemntal territory for me, but sure...if you like it was an experiment in being an asshole. (Psst. I was just writing. No...really!)

3. I'm not sure. Deliberately? Hmm. Well yea I guess so, sort of. Course SAYING that you were deliberately being an asshole isn't really an experiment. That's just something stupid to say when you need a good ending.

4. Good point. I don't. Come meet me, then YOU can tell me. I'm not a violent person, so don't worry bout that. I don't hold grudges or try to get revenge, so don't even give it a second thought. My front door is open to visitors until the 24th as per sometimes_i_wish_people_would_just_be_spontaneous.

5. Yea, I guess there's nothing wrong with a little pussy now and then. They'd better be box trained though. I can't stand slippin on pet crap on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
shivers 1)What do u think about puppies?
2)Do u bielive in life after death?
3)How come my dad hates my little brother? (he's just 11, he's done nothing wrong)
4)Which is better, coke or pepsi?
5)What is the perfect age to lose your virginity?
ferret i've heard of synaethesia before 030717
Dafremen 1. Puppies are cute too. Same deal with the potty training.

2. Hmm. I believe it is possible. I also believe in the gift of being reintroduced to the cycle of life. That's life after death and it is a very important hope that I keep in my heart.

3. He probably doesn't hate him at all. I'd have to know your father or at least do his chart to be able to give you a good answer. However, often we fathers feel that we especially have a responsibility to get our boys ready for the cruelties of teenage years and manhood after that. Guys get their @sses kicked regularly for being too sensitive. Your brother is reaching that age. I imagine dad's just requiring more of him and it looks like he hates him cuz he's on his case more.

4. I honestly like Coke better because it's sort of all-purpose. It's unsweet enough for when you don't feel like sweet, but sweet enough to mix with brandy.

5. We should probably wait until we're in our twenties at least. We won't but we probably should. That's really not the determining factor though. The determining factors are:

Are you at a place in your life where having a baby can be worked into the plan easily without changing all of your plans for the future?

Do you really want to be in the market for another girlfriend/boyfriend down the road shortly?

These are questions you might want to ask yourself since one of these is a possible consequence of premarital sex and the other is a probable one.
ferret 1. who was Cain's wife? in Genesis he is supposed to have had a wife, who was she?

2. can you explain free will? (you might want to create a seperate blathe so we can discuss this)

3. yes or no?

4. no or yes?

5. do your answers conflict?
Dafremen 1. Excellent question. Before I answer this question, I'm going to avoid beating around the bush and let you know that I really feel the question warrants a side track as an answer. Here is that side track. I think that when one goes about examining a text as rich in history as the bible. (As much as it may or may not have been tainted by politics and well intentioned mischief it is a VERY old text and much of it has since been archeologically verified.) We should take into consideration that it isn't the Bible itself that is trying to be taken literally as events that transpired, it is those who (and they MAY be right) believe that the Bible is literally word for word the actual events that transpired, that create paradoxes in the Bible. Not once has the Bible said to you, me or anyone, except those mentioned above, "everything in here is the literal history of actual events that transpired." Rather the Bible says that the "Word of God" will not be tainted. Take THAT literally and it means that the words spoken by the omnipotent one himself have not been tainted. It does NOT literally say that the Bible hasn't been altered. In a way, I buy that. It makes sense. The people that went about translating the bible from language to language, version to version..ESPECIALLY in the old days, were GOD FEARING people. The very LAST thing they would want to do was invoke the eternal wrath of their God by presuming to change the actual words uttered by God. They would have been ESPECIALLY careful with most of those quotes. I would start any true study of the Bible off there. Anyhow, back to the side-track: the Bible never claimed to be anything literal, but it does APPEAR to be a very old chronicle of the history of human wisdom, the evolution of a society if you will. I believe that the story of Cain and Abel in it's very obvious gaps (don't think you are the first to ask this asked entirely too often question) screams that there are details askew and pieces missing. It doesn't claim to be the history of the first family of Eden, but rather a revealing story whose moral underlines the hideous nature of envy and jealousy.
It's a very good story. I'm a pantheist and I STILL enjoy reading the Bible on occasion, it's a great read. No reason to disparage it here with frivolous nit picking. All that said, it never says that there were only the four of them in the Bible. Read it yourself. I'll quote:

Genesis 4 (from the top)
Now Adam had intercourse with Eve his wife and she became pregnant. In time she gave birth to Cain and said: "I have produced a man with the aid of (please insert your name for god here)

(At this point we have Cain.)

From Genesis 4:2
Later she again gave birth, to his brother Abel.

(Ok now we have Cain & Abel.)

(I wanna stop here because I think we can both scan the rest of Genesis 4:3 - 17 where the story ends. You can see that there is no mention of there only being four of them. They are simply the only four that are mentioned by NAME.

Do you honestly think that after Abel popped out, Adam said, "Holy SH*T!! These rugrats keep comin out! Sorry Eve, no more doing the pokey thing that the snake showed us, these crying, screaming crapping little people are for the birds"? Do you?

What do YOU think? He gave up paradise for Eve! You think he stopped having sex cua of the kids?! HELLO?!! Of course not, he kept on screwing and having kids while Cain and Abel were growing up. Fair enough? Ok enough of that.
I think we've established how Cain could easily have had a wife. Also we've established that the "anyone finding" him that "would kill him" could have meant his own friggin clan. Adam they say lived to be 930 years old. I'm tellin ya, he did NOT stop laying pipe because of kids. I know I haven't. He was the first one to DISCOVER tail for gawd sake!! So yes, what I'm saying is we're a race of mongoloids.

2. I would have to believe in destiny first. I do not. I believe in action and reaction. I believe past actions creating future consequences. I do not believe that we are predestined to our misery and therefore God is horrible since he saw it coming. I believe we make our own misery and God is just one of the many convenient excuses which the lazy and unfortunate have come up with to have someone to shake their fists at besides themselves when things aren't going their way. I believe we have freewill because it is part of the gift package that you have been given by grace or fate. The rest of our kin lie in the ground as dirt and stuff. Their number didn't come up yet, they're still inanimate matter in the ground. Your number DID come WIN! You can see and feel and think and smell and taste and cry and scream and ache and be in love and be heartbroken and what on Earth are we bitching for? Yes, I believe in freewill but not as a little parlor game to play around with the notion of an omniscient, omnipotent god in a veiled attempt at discrediting the belief's of those who pray to such a god. That's just rude and unnecessary. P.S. I'm not on your case, but that of all of the bitter atheists out there. They need to lighten up, not believing in God is a legitimate belief too, propz too all of my brethren and sistren! God fearing and God jeering alike. Stop baggin on each others beliefs. It's petty.

3. Yes to freewill. Yes to gettin' some no0kie. Yes to life. Yes to kids after they're out of diapers (until they're teenagers then yes again when they're out of the house.)

4. No to religious persecution in either or any direction. No to silly mind games that revolve around discrediting another's god. Religion isn't about what's wrong about what's right for them. It's about what's right for you.

5. No. It would have been a simple matter to make them do so, but they do not.
soup for the poor My questions are not thought provoking and I apologize. They are just basic questions that i find interesting to ask.

1. what is the best thing about being married?
2. what are your kids names/ages?
3. what is the best quote you have ever made on blather?
4. what is the best quote you have ever heard anyone else make? ((Not necessarily on blather, of course))
5. what has been your favourite place to travel?

I really like/agree with your answer to ferrets questions. Excellent. I am a simple person. . .or maybe I am just feeling more simple at the moment. I choose to ask simple questions.
ashmanzhou why doth the world be?

if the world truley beath why doth people believe in that which is not?

if that which is not truley doth be why doth they beath conjecture toward its form?

if therefore it hath no form that be in recognisable how can it truley be?

and if there be no true answer for exact relation why doth we ask?
Dafremen Ok, I have no time to answer these tonite. I do have answers though.

soup - I like your questions. They are nice and simple. That's cool. Deep ones are fine too.

My poetic friend, though hast happened upon the right place. Thy inquiries shall find yon revealments come the morn. (Or something like that.)
Dafremen -though +thou 030719
Dafremen 1. This a multiple answer question. I'll give you the top 5 things about being married, in no particular order:
A) Thinking about growing old with her.
B) Smelling her hair in the morning.
C) The way she smiles when I kiss behind her ear. (see also: )
D) Walking through the mall is less uncomfortable when you're not alone.
E) You can still have safe sex even without prophylactics.

2. I'd rather not give out their real names if you don't mind, but I will give you their nicknames:

JaybeE is 16
Let is 15
sR0ck is 13
and my boy, my bud
Zmo is 9
(for another great quote see:
take_a_risk_and_keep_it )

3. I'm not sure. I like "Your concern is as appreciated as it is misguided" alot. Can I make a short list? A top about that? Thanks.

A) "In the end 'the_answer' really amounts to nothing more than a trophy:
An indication to anyone that cares to notice, that we were just foolish enough to ask the question."

B) "Your concern is as appreciated as it is misguided."

C) "It is society that rubs my back and pats my ass while it twists my arm."

D) "Apathy is treason."

E) ""Whatever measure of success I might achieve in life I attribute to the mediocrity of my peers."

Yea, that'll do nicely. See quoting_myself for others.

4. There are SOOOO many, but to narrow it down to two:
A) "Pensaba que estaba pensando," - Polo Polo (Latino comedian)
B) "If you want to give up the admiration of many men for the criticism of one...go ahead! Get married!" - Katherine Hepburn (Never could figure out a way that a hetero guy like me could use that quote with the same effect though, dammit.)

5. I love the Sierra Madre/Sierra Oscura of Mexico. That's basically the Rocky Mountains south of the border. One Christmas, we went to visit our kids before their papers had come through(immigration is a horrible system that tears families apart, I'll save that for another question though).
When we got to Obregon, Sonora, everyone that normally went up to the Sierra said that the roads were too icy and dangerous. So my brother-in-law lent us 4 horses and we rode 100km up through the winding trails and brush. It took 2 days. We stopped at a cabin on the way and these strangers offered us a place to stay the night and some food and vacanora (Mexican Moonshine.) Later we discovered that the guy, "El Tigre" (a feared man in the area because he had already killed 7 people that pissed him off) had gone to elementary school with my wife. It was a really cool visit. Then we were off, and it is just the most beautiful thing you've ever seen really. Not just the scenery, but the people and the way of life. Very simple, but very cozy and familiar. Every time you meet someone on the road, everyone stops, talks for a little bit, passes around their canteens of ho0ch(vacanora) and then moves on. I will try to scan in a picture of me on horseback with the sierra in the background. I'll also try to find a map and circle the area where we were.

Great questions.
Dafremen Before I move onto the next questions, the link I gave you for the picture of the missus smiling that smile is now restricted. You'll find That same picture at:

Still working on the Sierra picture though.
ferret thank you much sir daffy, you're answers were as appreciated as they were well thought out. no, not thawed_out, thought out. 030720
Dafremen They were actually thawed out. I made them into patties and stored them in the deep freeze last summer.
(P.S. That was not a question.)
minnesota_chris what's up? 030720
Dafremen Not much Chrisesota Fats, just chillin like a the Italian Alps.

But I'm afraid it's ashmanzhou's turn next.
Dafremen The sierra picture is up along with a more recent one of me with the missus. 030720
soup for the poor After reading my question, I realized that asking for names was very personal. I just didn't think of it at the time, Daf. I promise I am not a stalker. Thanks for the answers. :) 030720
sixteen 1.I don't know...what do YOU wanna do?

2.So, whaddya think?
endless desire your oldest kid is
older than i am.
i think that's really pretty funny.
you are probably older than my mum.
wow i just feel so
insignificant all of the sudden. . .
i am trying to imagine reading the poetry of someone THAT much younger than me and not looking at it as silly and immature.
anyWHO. the missus is lovely and now for some questions of my own that you can answer when it is my turn. mine are fairly simple as well. but, eh. im little. and i am feeling younger by the second so i mine as well ask away:
1. what's your biggest pet peeve?
2. if you could go back in time to change things in your life, would you. . .and er, why?
3. do you believe in coincidence or fate?
4. if you could have a fast food place be built into your house, which one woudl it be?
5. have you traveled to vancouver?
Dafremen 1. Watching people ignore good advice to make the same mistakes over and over, generation after generation. It's that or the fact that just about everything we enjoy watching on TV these days revolves around making a spectator sport out of human misery, either for real (ala the news, COPS, Jerry, Oprah, Montel, When Animals Attack, Stupid Sh*t Caught on Tape, People's Court, etc) or manufactured ( Soap Operas, Reality TV, Horror Films, etc.)

2. Yes and No. I like where I'm at in my life. If I went back and changed anything, I might never have gotten to this point. However, if I could change one thing without altering my present circumstances too dramatically, I would never have smoked that first pipeload of weed. Not because it's a bad thing, but because it's a bad thing for ME that feels too good to quit. I'm trying again; started yesterday.

3. A belief in fate and a belief in coincidence do NOT necessarily exclude one another. You could believe in both. I do not. I believe in coincidence because it's a fact, but I do not believe that all things that some folks say are the workings of fate are actually coincidence. There are things which we do NOT understand about synchronicity. Things happen in sympathy with one another, there are cycles that are shared between people, things and events. The future is not predestined and cannot be known, but the probabilities of its various possibilities can be.

4. Fast food huh? Well if I pick In N Out, I'm stuck with burgers and fries. So although that would be my number one choice, it's not. I have to think long term munchies. So I'm going for best overall combination of variety and food quality which has Wendy's written all over it. Plus the salad bar will come in handy once I go vegan again. I thought about Subway, by the way. In fact, I just might make it a combo Subway/Wendy's. I hope that's acceptable. I need a meatball sub, a bowl of chili and a frosty right now.

5. No I have not. I have been to Canada though and if I could work there, I would move there. Canada is pretty damned awesome.
Dafremen Sorry sixteen, I had your answers in there. Not sure where they went. Oh wait a sec, here they are:

1. I would love to swing on a tire swing with a really long rope right about now.

2. I was thinking about how last night I saw that earth consumes. Plants consume earth, birds and smaller animals consume plants, larger animals consume smaller animals, we consume plants & animals and the Earth consumes everything. Our consumer economy is modelled on dirt.
Dafremen ashmanzhou:
Your answers are coming. I hope you understand that your questions are particularly convoluted and in some cases, translate into nonsense. I will answer them regardless. Expect answers by this afternoon.
Dafremen Make that by tonite. I pondered your questions on the trolley today. I'll start by translating them into non-ashmanzhou-ese.

1. Why does the world exist?
2. If the world exists, why do people believe in unseen things or unreal things?
3. If those unseen or unreal things exist, why is there so much conjecture about the form that they take?
4. If these things have no recognizable form, how can they be real?
5. If there is no answer which describes the exact relationship of these things to known reality, why do we ask the questions?

(I hope those were fair translations.)

1. I am not qualified to answer most of these questions. However, I can tell you why I believe that "the world doth be." You were light, gas, rock, stars. You were ice and fire, dust and water. You were summoned from the ground by the luck of the draw (or fate if that's your preference) and now you are alive.
Pinch yourself, you aren't dreaming! Feel the pain? Isn't it glorious? We can FEEL! We can SEE, SMELL, TASTE and HEAR! This miraculous stroke of fortune only occurs in one place that we know of so far...planet Earth.

2. I don't quite see the relationship there. The Earth's existence and people believing in things that they can't prove just aren't mutually exclusive. People believe in things that they can't prove for many reasons. A short list might include:

To "fill in the blanks" in their belief systems or theories when nothing else will fit.

To exercise influence or control over others through exclusive possession of such "knowledge". Often this is done unconsciously, the manipulator actually believing his stated "facts" about the unprovable.

To avoid facing some of what they feel are the more unpleasant aspects of death for instance.

Related to this, some do so in order to avoid facing the known consequences of their actions. Take the "survival mode" theory of would-be dieters or "hereditary homosexuality." (This is not a judgement of homosexuality. This is an opinion on that theory. What trips your trigger is just fine, but for gawd sake, don't be a coward and hide behind genetics..just say that's the type of sex you want to have. Period. Pleading with people to accept you because you're genetically homosexual is like admitting that homosexuality is a genetic aberration just to get accepted. Acceptance shouldn't be accepted under such pathetic circumstances. Stand up for your right to be who you are, instead of settling for being tolerated as a "helpless genetic freak.")

I think I'll end the list there. There are more to be sure.

3. See also claptrap. People like to yack about sh*t that they can't prove. I think it may make them feel intellectual to spew nonsense that noone can refute. Sure works for me.

4. Ok this question, (if I translated it correctly) is sort of a "COME ON do0d!" question. There are many things with no recognizeable form that exist. Take art. What is it? What does it look like? How do you recognize it? Does it exist? Of course it does. Love would also fit the bill. I honestly don't feel that this requires further elaboration.

5. Regardless of whether or not there is an answer, MY answer remains the same: People ask questions because they want to explore, not because they want answers. If they really wanted answers, wouldn't they be satisfied once they got them? They rarely are, in fact, usually the opposite is true. Usually they are more miserable or perplexed after finding an answer than they were before they started. They don't seek answers, they seek godhood (ultimate knowledge) which is exactly why the questions never end for us. We are not gods.

(If I translated any questions incorrectly, please let me know. Sorry it took so long..this was a challenge on many levels. Thanks.)
ashmanzhou a note on the query thou hast answer'd so graciously
'love' and 'art' differ from 'reality'
they are mere abstract groupings
applied to more physical things
'love' to the chemical signalling
our bodies doth produce
to rule us to action being our 'thought'
'art' being a name for a collection of things
which we doth seest in our environment
as i say this i know i doth shun metaphysics
as i divide the concepts therein
however this doth nonetheless touch upon
what i doth confer with thee to
why do we seek to deify
these things as coherent selves
and symbolise them as they are not?
Dafremen I disagree. Love and art are very real. Love is fleeting but real. Art is a subjective term, but real no matter what perspective you happen to perceive it from. 030723
ashmanzhou i never said it was not 'real'
merely they are groupings of reality
under a misconcieved conception
concieved of a real thing
but is not 'real' as real is to reality
instead it doth be a term
a wider grouping applied
to many physical things that make up
a whole thing which is not able to be
scripted in reality so as to see
what it doth exist as 'real'
being a metaphysical thing
it cannot be named as 'real'
as all emotion is not 'real'
but is real as it can influence thee
as is for actions a 'move' is not real
it is a shifting of physical things
splat 1. Are you flattered that Peter Standaart described the story of your conversion to and beliefs in the merits of astrology "touching"? 030724
once again why I can't sleep at night

why i cry when i'm mad

why you love me

why he makes me sad


Here you go. Hope you have better luck then I did...
Dafremen Splat

1. I wouldn't say flattered. In fact, the mention of Peter Standaart makes me sad, because he had to leave his home of 27 years and hasn't been heard from on the internet since. I would say that letter was the second kindest thing Peter ever said. The first was when he said that he loves people like me who write with flair. (I had told him that "the truth mustn't be bantied about like a shuttlecok on the end of a whim.") Peter is a very dear friend even though I only knew him for a short time. I hope everything is well with him.
Dafremen 1. If you're anything like my daughter and myself, it's because your mind won't stop working. So many things to think about, so little time. It could also be fear, but likely it's Air sign disease. Try this: close your eyes and roll your eyes back in your head. You should start to see some fuzzy light blobs start to appear. Focus on that and nothing else. They'll change and move around, so it's entertaining for the brain. Before you know it, you should be asleep. Try sleeping with air blowing on your face too.

2. I'm not sure. Perhaps because anger makes you miserable? I laugh when I'm scared, same difference I bet.

3. Because you and I are the lucky jackpot lotto winners! We are the ones who get to dance the dance of life this time around and we are ONE. You come from the same place I did and will almost certainly return there, as will I. Someday, your material and my material could share space in the flesh or fiber of some future living thing. I love you because we are kin.

4. I'm not sure if you are asking why he ACTIVELY makes you sad or why you make yourself sad when you think about him. If it's the first, he might have some self-esteem issues and is trying to bolster his own ego by thumping on yours. If it's the second, he might be a person whose sadness you find tragic, it might be that you know that he is slowly growing away from you. It might be that you aren't even together yet at all and that thinking about how much you want to be with him makes you sad. There are other possibilities to be sure, but those are the ones that first came to mind.

5. Because dearest love, the alternative is nothing. As pleasant as that may sound when we're suffering, trust me, it's almost certainly colder and emptier than any misery you have ever experienced. Every inanimate thing around you, if given the opportunity to speak just one sentence would probably say:
somebody You know... I always thought you were good, but this just proves it. I'm impressed. 030725
sixteen that sleep advice

is good.

I think I'll need that tonight.
endless desire hah i don't care if i am labeled a kiss ass.
in agreement with somebody, that was f-ing awesome.

applause daf, endless applause.
Dafremen You know I have to smile at your kind words folks. : )

(However none of those were questions. : ) )
ferret !. why when i try your sleep thing, do i get a headache?

@. why am i capitalizing the numbers?

#. why do i get so irritated at those advertisements with the people who have really stupid accents?

$. if everyone gave up money do you think we could go back to raw trading?

%. eep monico jingula fyngula mingula porcupine?
Dafremen 1. Don't roll your eyes back in your head if you get headaches. Oh, and stop eating those dessicant packs. You are who they had in mind when they stamped "DO NOT EAT" on those things.

2. Because you are suffering from a rare condition known as Mydonumeroshiftosis. It is intermittent, but incurable I'm afraid.

3. You are probably also suffering from xenophobia. That is, an irrational fear of foreign cultures. You have convinced yourself that this is annoyance, when in fact it is how your fear has decided to manifest itself. Ooooor you've tried Vegemite and/or kidney pie, in which case your annoyance is completely understandable.

4. Yes I do. However, it is inconvenient and we are lazy. That is the main hurdle standing in our way. Think about it this way though, do you trust bankers, CEOs or politicians? Well THEY control what those little coins and bits of green paper are worth. While we take the coupons they sold us on, they're scooping up all of the land. Apparently, they haven't forgotten what has REAL value: a place to grow food and rest your bones.

Think about that for a second..ever try to eat a dollar bill? Or sleep on a penny?

If you need it and don't have it, they get to charge you for it. All you have left to give them are the days of your life(in the form of green bits of paper), and you can't buy those back.

5. Oon. Fallo mygnal flanno flarch toonfallo "quills".
Toxic_Kisses I lost my train of thought darn it! any who heres 5 Q's for you.

What if anything are you doing to insure animals insects and the like arn't hurt/killed/indangered (intentionaly or not) by human "development"?
How are you feeling today?
Why do so many ppl (Note I dident say All) prefer to be/stay ignorent?
how do you overcome feeling discuraged?
Why do you care? I mean about anything
Toxic_Kisses ohohoh I !~NEEEEEEEEED~! to ask one more Q!

if you need to ignore one of the above Q's to answer it than do so.

If there is an afterlife and there for "Spirits" or what ever you prefer to call them would thay still exist once earth is/was destroyed (eathr by us or the sun)by that I mean would thay simply not exist any longer or if thay do still exist wear would thay go?
misstree Okay darlin'. I kind of hate to use and abuse that gorgeous grey matter of yours for something that seems so mundane and petty, but I can't quite think right with this guy screaming in my head.

I'll try to keep this as short of a sob story as possible, and get straight to the point. I'm not looking for any sort of pity, I know my problems aren't that bad compared to others but I don't care because they're my problems. That, and just shoving them into a box to be let out a little at a time has been working well enough. Within the last two weeks, a bunch of shit has hit the fan. My boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me wednesday before last (july 23rd), but because of an old half-joking clause we stayed together until the following tuesday. That part of it was great, i highly recommend it to any relationship that can handle it--we got to do all these things for one last time, to really drink deep and savor them. Right now I'm in the process of moving into a house that my best friend PuppyCrusher and I are renting from his boss as kind of house-sitter, and his boss is still living there and PC is off camping for a week. Nothing like moving into an occupied house to make you feel comfortable. PC and his significant other of 5 years are breaking up, with them it's also a time-delay thing but has been going much worse. The other person who usually helps me in times of stress, J-Sun, moved out of town. I'm fucked for money and have to babysit a fucking cat every moment I get, I'm sleeping on a crappy leaky air matress indefinitely, and I have to move all of my shit totally by myself, except for when I get to somehow try to bribe a friend to run around like an idiot to 3 different houses with a pickup truck.

So that was a bit longer than intended, but that's the gist. The problem that I'm really asking about is, since that last tuesday when i officially became single, one of the little people that are always yammering in my head has been screaming. Constantly. The only way I get any peace is distracting myself heavily or getting stupid drunk. The past few days he's occasionally busted into sobbing or hysterical laughter, which is a nice change, but still disturbing. He really flipped shit when I locked myself out of my apartment last night.

So how do I shut the little bastard up?
Dafremen TK - I hope you will forgive me Ms. Besos Venenosos while I give this last question first priority. I'm usually a first come first serve kinda guy, but I recognize a priority case and would like to plead insanity on the rise. 030805
Dafremen Lovely tree - You're in need a of a break, dear. I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy though. You know that. The little voices in your head are your anxieties finding release because you're trying so desperately to hold yourself together when you're falling apart on so many levels inside. Realize that, like quitting drugs or alcohol, fighting involuntary delusions is a very difficult proposition. You need to have a grip, which you seem to. You also need to release. You also need to let go of the immediately urgent(everything that seems so important and/or scary.) We can't change the things the little guy might say, but we can certainly try to take away his reasons for saying them. If you will trust in my "gorgeous grey matter" (Oh don't think that didn't reel me in hook line and did) perhaps we can give him less to bitch about and eventually send him back into retirement. It should be obvious that this voice, or these voices are some sort of manifestation of your stress, anxiety, emotions or all of the above. Here they come again..let's get a handle on the stress. (Although I'm sure that you're probably handling everything superbly to all appearances.) I want you to see this and believe it:

There is nothing to fear in this world, but the fear inside of us. It attracts negative, dark and undesirable circumstances to us. There are both perfectly logical and absolutely ridiculous explanations for this phenomenon. In either event, one only has to see the results to realize that once you pass through the test of your fear, in the big world, with your ass hanging to the breeze, you are indestructible, are unflinchable.

Clear your head(I understand that's going to be hard..lie on the bed, face up, relax first starting with your toes, then your legs and moving your way up to the top of your head, breathing slowly the entire time), now realize that every good outcome you can reasonably see in your future is coming your way. It's a sure thing. As sure as I'm spending the time to answer this it's coming if you know it is and you FEEL it is. All of your plans are going to work out. That's no sh*t Sherlock Hemlock. The little voice is your fear trying to find a way out through your stoic demeanor. That can suck you down if you give in to it. Don't, you're strong, don't let it win..YOU win! Don't be afraid, there are people here for you, including you yourself, hardy, flexible and enduring tree. You'll make it chicklette, count on it. Sez me..and I should know. (Or so they tell me down at the Screw-ups Club where I have a lifer-level membership.)
Dafremen 1. I am a pantheist. I don't kill other living things. Not even roaches, ants or spiders. I avoid killing other things at almost all costs, mainly because I have no right to take life, as precious as it is, from any other lifeform that was lucky enough to make it from inanimate to animate. This is their shot out of the ground too. To take that away from them intentionally is unforgivable, unless my own life or that of my loved ones were in danger. I believe that's more than a lot of the folks who kill ants chaining themselves to trees or roast wild animals in their forest fires in brute force attempts to stop encroaching development have done.

2. I'm feeling quite hopeful today. I mean I'm still a bit of a dirtbag around the edges, but all-in-all since I had my hair cut, I'm feeling quite personable. Finding an illustrator for the poetry book has me especially cheerful lately. This thing is going to be so co0l.

3. Perhaps they are afraid of change. Many conservative types are this way. Perhaps they are at a nice smooth place in their life and they don't want to screw that up. Maybe they've been and/or thought this way for so long that to turn around and change their way of thinking now would put them near the bottom of the intellectual food chain..why dive into that willingly? Better to fight the good fight and hope noone notices. Maybe they just never stopped to think about it and really aren't inclined to. There are lots of people like that. Oh, and what's "ignorant" mean? Is that like ignant?

4. You might want to see the answer to miss tree's question. It's really the reason I've avoided wrinkles and hair loss up to this point: relax. Life is taken care of, you just have to realize that. Do what you can and the rest will fall together. Wing what you can't plan and for god sake, don't try to cram a round plan into a square hole. That's another place to sort of cobble a plan together on the fly. I'll try to keep the religious rhetoric to minimum, but a very wise man once said something to this effect:

"Look at the birds in the field, they don't worry about what they're going to eat next, and yet they are taken care of. Why can't you believe that you will be too?" That's as true of dreams and goals as it is of food. They're nothing more than different ways of filling different kinds of voids. What makes you think that void won't be filled if you really need and want it to be? It will be, I've tried works. You don't have to chase your dreams into the ground..just keep your head clear, keep your feet on the ground and they'll come to you..all of them.

5. Because I feel.(Cancer Moon)
Dafremen TK - We'll call this a new line of questioning.

1. I believe that everything will be collected back into one place for one moment in time, singularity. After that I believe that the universe starts all over again. So yes, I believe that the potential for everything that the universe contains is eternal. That means I believe that anything that could be now, can be later. Including all forms of energy and or matter. Do I believe that spirits are destroyed? I don't believe that anything is destroyed, things just change forms. Like a relationship becomes a set of memories or like the present becomes the past. Things change, but nothing is eradicated, there is hope for all visions of the unknown and all dreams for the future, for the possibilities are limitless in an infinite creation machine.
(Notice that I somehow neither confirmed nor denied a belief in spirits.)
Special K Did Enriquecito ever write to you outside of Blather? 030806
Dafremen 1. He might have. He did write to me here on blather. I believe I was playing the protective father role in that strange blather_triangle. If he wrote me, I must've lost the email when my hard drive crashed. (Seems to me that he did,though.) 030806
Special K Yes, I knew about that. I thought, perhaps, that in one of his late-night binges he might have reached a little farther out than what I saw.

It's become a mission of excavation; he died a few months ago and I'm still looking for clues. Just the usual things; re-reading the inscriptions on the books we exchanged, examining our letters and eMails with a suspicious eye; it's like scanning old weather reports, looking for a warning of the random lightning strike.
Dafremen I'm sorry to hear that he died. He was a very eloquent fellow. I hope he passed on the way he would have wanted to. If I can find anything, I'll send it on..k?

(Under the circumstances, I think it matters little whether or not that was a question.)
Dafremen I did come up with SOMETHING. It's not much, but I hope it helps.

see also: SpecialK
Dafremen 1. Why would you like to retire this page?

2. Will there be another one?

3. Why are you leaving?

4. Will you be back?

5. Do you PROMISE that you won't come back? (Because that MIGHT be a good thing.)
Dafremen 1. This page is kind of a tear jerker for me now. I'd like to leave it that way rather than have someone tag it. (Which just might happen anyhow, but such is the nature of free_expression ) From now on this page will remind me of K and enrique.

2. Yes. There will be one more before I have to leave: ask_dafremen

3. I have been on a strange sort of adventure for the last few years. I've felt for quite awhile that I would have a second absence. I'll be moving to higher ground next..gotta get ready for big things heading this way.

4. I really don't think I will be, but I could be wrong. I've got a pretty good track record of being right when I trust my instincts, but that's only when I'm not wrong. This could be one of those times.

5. No. The freedom to come and go is mine to do with what I please and I would never chain myself to a promise that might take that away from me.

see also: whats_important_to_you
flippo Yea, yea..get off yer toadsto0l and get marching pal! 030823
Dafremen It was broken. Let's hope this fixes it. 030824
Special K Daf
To think I almost missed this last bit of intrigue! I'm sorry for the delay, I've only just come back to this page and seen what you wrote (see: specialk).

I wonder, are those really his words, or are you channeling on our behalf? I can't imagine when he would have written something like this, but I'd like to think he was in such good spirits all the way to the end. If you don't think it will "break the spell," so to speak, I'd like to know if that letter is real (and possibly a datestamp?) Either way, though, it was a lovely thing to do, Daf. Well done.

I really appreciate all you've ever contributed to our conversations here; I know E. looked forward to seeing what you'd come up with, and I certainly appreciated the spontaneous voice of reason. You're a good fellow. ;-)
Special K ...On second thought, don't answer that last question.

It's better just like this.

Thanks, Daf.
Dafremen I'm not sure if you saw blather_tragedy yet or not. A lot of people were very moved by your story, love. If you ever need to yack with someone, you have friends here. You are after all, a blatherskite among blatherskites. 030904
oldephebe ok so daf here's one
and i can't be more specific

what are the ramifications of a male cancer born on the 29th day of the month
hooking up with a female libran also born on the 29th day of the month one year later?

really enjoyed your treatise on the Path
Dafremen Thanks phebe. I'll come up with an answer while I'm waiting in line today and have it for you over at ask_dafremen.

Special K Wow... I never did see the Blather Tragedy, and I'm a bit overwhelmed with it all, I must say. My thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts.

Whenever E. and I wrote something to Blather we were simultaneously delighted and horrified by the permanence of it. Would we ever regret what we had said, the indelible digital mark it would leave on time? Neither of us knew, but in a way that was part of the fun.

Neither of us had blathed anything for quite some time, but I tell you this: The weekend he died one of the first things I did was read everything we'd ever written here, line-for-line. I'd never been more glad for the record.

Take care of one another, be happy and kind.
celestias shadow do you believe in fallen angels?

what is the one thing that money can never buy?

are people inherently bad, good, or just foolish?

why is it so important to me that i mean something to other people?

do you think this is really a good world to grow up in? because i'm afraid to.

it's fine if you can't/won't/don't want to answer any or all of these. i'm just tossing them out there.
celestias shadow ooops. i put this on the other one. sorry. ignore here. you already answered. thanks, btw. :) 030923
. multiple personalities. 130526
what's it to you?
who go