sometimes_i_wish_people_would_just_be_spontaneous endless desire sometimes_i_wish_people_would_just_be_spontaneous i said to you after you asked to kiss me again because i was scared i didn't want to mess this up and i was very scared to kiss you. too scared to make the first move i thought i could count on you for that and i could. because when i told you sometimes_i_wish_people_would_just_be_spontaneous in the darkness of my room lying on my bed in each others arms i felt you move towards me and i felt your lips on mine so awkward for minute but much enjoyed and we kissed, until one gathered the nerve to move their lips open it was you. and soon you gathered the courage to enter my mouth. and i was relieved. i had gone numb and i was counting on you to teach me how to feel again. you taught me how to feel again. its been three months since then three has always been a good number last night you told me something i never knew-- that you were nervous then too nervous out of your mind. i never knew that. you came across so confident so sure. and it was a confidence i needed but i never imagined you were worried too. you said it was bc you really liked me and you didnt want to mess it up and that on the first night when i said, "i really want to kiss you now but i am too scared. . ." and made up some excuse. . .too scared to get too attatched for something that would never work, that it surprised you. and well it worked. and you kissed me on that second night. and taught me how to feel again. haha and i always claimed that that wasnt a hint. it was hint. i love it when people are sponatneous. 030602 ... Syrope you are so beautiful, it hurts to read your words :) kissing_scenarios 030716 ... ferret ***hint hint!*** ~~*** kitty ***~~~ *-*-*-* this cheese has lint on it! *-*-*-* ~~~~~ there were feet on here! ~~~~~ 030716 ... Dafremen Ok, spontaneous huh? Fine, anyone and everyone's invited to my pad between now and July 24th. After that I'll play dumb like I don't know what your talking about and you'll believe me. j/k : ) Email me if you're coming by. I live along the border of California and Mexico, just south of San Diego. I'll guide you in by phone. 030716 ... The Spork ... and Combust. Now that would be pretty neat, Well, at least as long as it wasn't me. 030716 ... oldephebe Endless your writing is such equisite agony to read and all of your erotic ambition all of your arms outstretched to touch the unseen god ambivalence and eloquence all of your gray rainbows of holy light I am undone everytime I read one hold nothing back *sorrow straps itself ....? *that thread may not apply hold nothing back the power of your panoramas of pain really a beautiful soul to be in such agony ... i can't adequatley convey ... how beautifully you paint the paper with your being 030717 ... pipedream i agree, i agree- spontaniety is my middle name hee hee 030718 ... kiuruus so Dafremen, has anyone been by to visit? 030720 ... Dafremen I got one email saying they might, but they weren't sure what their friends had planned for the weekend. I wrote back telling em ok, but that I'd have to get a bit of notice so that I didn't make plans of my own. No response. 4 days and counting. Only two people that I've met online since I started up again in 93' have met me in person. Ice turned out to be a neighbor of mine. I could have thrown a rock into his backyard from mine. I knew him for a year online before I found out how close he lived. We met through a gaming group out of Kentucky. He is now curator of the world's only Dafremen museum which is located in a corner of his basement. (If his wife hasn't thrown it out yet.) Yoda is a member of my Quake2 clan. He came from Indiana to see a slipknot concert in Peoria. Well, I rolled out the red carpet. He won't forget that visit anytime soon. I'm a lot more broke these days, so the carpet's a bit shorter, but hospitality is the name of my game when guests come over. 030720 ... megan just fuck me why not 030720 ... endless desire i hang my head low because now spontaneous actions just make my stomach twist. and i wonder where to move next. thanks for the kind words. blather_is_my_favourite 030829 ... Sparticus be spontaneous 030829 ... Sparticus it feels wrong not holding your hand it feels wrong not being able to tell you how i feel it feels wrong not ending a conversation with "i love you" now thats the worst it feels wrong not being with you it feels wrong not being spontaneous be spontaneous, love 030829 ... oE www.npr.org/ramfiles/me/19990921.me.16.ram The Anti-Ironist...*thinks about smirking and then just absently scratches two day chin stubble* ... 040414 ... haha im so funny more like bum fluff hey oE 040414 ... oE Yes I am quite funny. Especially in person, I've got these big brown eyes you could just stare into all day and this really pleasant tenor speaking voice...kinda collegial it's been said.. so how 'bout it..unmask yourself already 040414 ... oldephebe bloody bud of the age blossoms in a burst of red into cerulean blue sky... i think i'm trying to comment on post-modernism - but where's the subtle dig against orthodoxy and staid epistemological expectations? .... 040420 what's it to you? who go blather from