insanity
djdown it's better than jail. 980826
...
daxle it's bitter baby and it's very sweet 990422
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Aerith Thera time to have phun and play in the playground 990623
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emma it sucks, you're boring, you stick to thinking about one thing over and over, you want to hurt yourself, you feel unwhole, it's no fun from any angle. 990623
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who? did you see that? No, really you saw it, right? Why is it that I'm always the one who see's that stuff? No, really it was there. Yes I'm sure. Yes, it had four neon green eyes. Come on guys, you've got to believe me 990828
...
pink bars in the window
toys in the attic
over the rainbow
990828
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Morphean is nothing more or less than the refusal to allow reality to shape your mind; rejection of logic, and thereby though; when one cannot think one cannot act and the end of action is the end of life... or is it but the beautiful beginning? 990930
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me insanity is just someting that people make up to make themselves feel better no one is really insane. People may have lost some of there scenses but they are not crazy to any one but to the people the appear that way to. No one has every thing in there minds perfect. I have weird thoughts and people always say seriously that i need help. 991026
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unknown insanity is just a state of mind, that in your right mind you must look perfect, sound perfect, and be perfect or you are already spiraling down in society to a dark morbid world of unsereal lonlieness. 991026
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lokkust it can be fun 991107
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valis why is it that you're "in" sane and "out of your mind" at the same time? i'm writing my congressman. 991207
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jennifer my friends are walking in the door now 991208
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deb i guess i'm just crazy

i'm crazy for you
i'm crazy about you
and i would be
crazy without you
991208
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alicia k---- got sent to mendota for a ten-day evaluation because she went to a football game naked. everytime we'd go outside she'd strip and run around hugging all of the trees, and anne would have to chase after her and tackle her and put her clothes back on for her. and then send her to seclusion for a couple hours. i dont know if she was seriously screwed up or if she just liked nature a lot. 991229
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tnt "the distance between genius and insanity is measured only by success."
how true is that? insanity is only considered such because the general public en masse refuses to understand a new concept. to attempt a new concept. to conceptualize newness. insanity is simply something unproven, or until then, not previously thought. insanity is imagination. insanity is beauty.
000114
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amy reborn drive insane

(three_words)

i could give you three_words combinations all day if you wanted me to...
000115
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bellee something people would like to be...at least then they are something. 000121
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lotusflower i love it. 000212
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Midnight Bliss Insanity isn't a bad thing, it's only a state of mind that some prefer to live in.

Some beleive that insanity is the only way to fulfill the need to be yourself.
000319
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girl creeps inside me in the same way that flood waters enter a house. damaging and forboding and bigger than me. i want it to go away but the waters just keep rising 000326
...
fairydust sometimes i think i'm insane only for fear of being normal.maybe all of us crazy ones are. 000326
...
Meghan is only for the poor. the rich are eccentric.

i wanna be eccentric.
000701
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datura i hear things when nobody's around. 001205
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smiles There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!
001225
...
little boy blue A Claustrophobic Place
Where Darkness is embraced
Insanity abounds
And the Trivial is made Profound
001225
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that bird (hes mad i tell you) say hello say hello say hello 010107
...
crazychick crazy?
i was crazy once..
they locked me in a rubber room
it was dark
there were worms
they tickled
it almost drove me crazy!
crazy?
i was crazy once..
010107
...
cover.. I'm not sure if I've attained insanity or if this paranoia plagueing me is just a side affect of drugs. Communication amongst others seems like a plot against my existance and communication is quite difficult. I'm now in another dimension where you can't find me, only my companions exist in our psychodelic realm of rightside brain function. I dwell on the topic of insanity as it all turns black and I feel free once again. This time I can't spit it out if freedom is a sour taste in my eye....I'm condemmed to it. It's my destiny decided by fate transfigured by my psyche. 010204
...
for20 Angel insanity is when every word spoken to you is magnified to the largest size and you dwell. on. it.

insanity is when you feel the need to jump out of your skin and want to melt into nothing.

its when you dont know that tomorrow will be better.
010317
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Sol why is insanity anything other than simply a different state of mind/being? it shows an ability to think and believe outside of the strict guidlines forced into us by our upbringing and education 010317
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Killer13/Shadow65/Psycho89/Ginko65 When you must do the oppisite oof anything rational,to be like me,to enjoy being so.Using nonsensicalwords and trying to believe Bill Gates is a good person.Jumping on bananas,supporting efforts to stop the cabybara bombings,to have conversations with invisible insubstantial exploding penguins,to do the things I do. 010326
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melvinwang beats the hell out of sanity. it's unorthodox, and makes you and others think 010506
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Alexander Beetle Saw a t-shirt the other day.

"I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It!"

Didn't think anything could offend me, anymore. Serves me right for being presumptuous.
010507
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Brendan not whta you see what you are. what is everything and what was nothing. So small in a a universe so very very big I can not hear beyond my own existence. Time on earth means nothing anywhere else but here. not on mars not on pluto, and not in my soul any longer. Un natural concrete lathers the ground where a soft beautiful grass should be. Where has the real world gone, for all of our present day reallities are nothing but dillusions brought on by the human beings own self righteousness. What a joke. WE are nothing trying to make our lives mean something. 010724
...
in-sanity insanity is what i am
insainty is what you are
insanity is in all of us, just some like to believe they are normal, and live with a closed mind. They are, so to speak, the drones.

But do I believe these 'drones' exist ? Surely no-one could be that narrow minded... from my brief experience with life, there is just too much to think about.
010929
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Inanna It is perfectly sane to question your sanity. It is the ones who never question it you should worry about. 010929
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jungmi *** ::insanity=bliss:: 020105
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good people wallowing in the dark recesses of my disturbed mind. 020109
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erin. it's the only thing that remains truly real to me sometimes--
the only thing i can cling to
without fearing that i might fall away completely
and yet it's the sole reason the ones i love
walk on eggshells.

the insanity is the reason i dream at night
and the reason i fear the dreams;
they aren't what i want to see
when i wake up to find my heart going thumpthumpthump
as if it's about to burst out of my chest.
020305
...
pushpins sometimes i feel myself slipping
to that bad place or
thats what everyone calls it.
And behind my sheild
of a stone gaze,
rabid thoughts chew at my skull
and I swear i can feel them.
Sometimes I am bored with the terror
and I just leave my body
shaking on the floor.
sometimes I am afraid
beyond words themselves,
which is the only thing i find comfort in.
sometimes I cry out, so scared
that i will be one of those people
that you hear about.
I don't care which one,
just one of them.
that girl that shot herself in school
or that girl that disapeared
without warning
and her parents wont tell where she is
(shes in a mental hospital making
no progress)
or just any way
of flipping out
because I hardly hold myself back anymore.
And if I don't
figure it out,
i might whip out a real knife the next time
i imagine slitting that girls throat.
020305
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thugstylez there was a lady that would walk up and down the street all day saying a bunch of giberish. everyone thought she was crazy. i heard a preacher speak in "tounges". everyone thought he was touched by god. ive seen a man stare into nothing all day. everyone thought he was crazy. i seen someone else do it with his legs crossed, they say he was meditating and he was enlightened. i saw a woman talkin to someone we couldnt see and they all said she was crazy. and millions of others do it in prayer but no one says they're crazy. how fine is the line from sane to insanity? i say its practically invisible 020305
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Dack Rambo is my father A lot of people think I'm insane. A lot of people think I need help. But I won't get it. I have Blather. I discovered this place by typing in "Normal People" in a search engine. Crazy, eh? But that's what I'm supposed to be talking about. I hear little girls calling my name sometimes. Is that insane? I have panic attacks too. Tip of the iceberg. Tip of the mountain. No one ever says that. Erosions cause a mountain to become so high. Erosions are problems. But the tip of the mountain is usually in the clouds...

I wish my could sister could hide her depression as well as I am. She's only worried about school. So is everyone else her age. Except me of course.

Maybe I do need help. But I won't get it. Insanity is the only thing keeping me from my boredom. Sure I'm only worrying about it. But it's something to do. Insanity is these monstrous shapes I see. This is giving me chills.
020405
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jessica fletcher i started out this way, and that makes me absolutley normal. 020522
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catherine terrifying.

a lack of touch with reality is terrifying to me.

the fact that some people are so out-of-touch with reality frightens me to no end.
030218
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birdmad .. it seems, has got me by my soul to squeeze 030218
...
cube Perhaps what you call sanity is just limited perception...
³
030218
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blackbird THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A DOOR THERE IN THE WALL WHEN I CAME IN. 030513
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ashmanzhou isanity is the excure that people use
to have ridiculous amounts of fun
030701
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User24 oh cube..

that is a Quote with capital Q
030701
...
delial

doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
030701
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ashmanzhou sanity insanity
bleeding out thy dreams
in new and incredible forms
we laugh and cry and break into pieces
but nothing is left
we hatest thee and we know thee not
for the paranoia will kill us
death we seek and death we find
in awed hate and revenent fury
we do see the others near
we do sek their cold embrace
they understand us not
for we are doomed as am i
and there is nothing that can be said
030710
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Ando Insanity is a relative concept. If i find it normal to steal womens hats, put them on my bum and then paint my toenails while balancing the hats, then that is perfectly sane.
THE VOICES, THE VOICES! YES, AZRAEL, I WILL DELIVER YOUR WILL. DEATH SHALL BE UPON YE and so on. Quite a normal thing to be raving, nespa?
030715
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god it was half tornado and half fish 030716
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scifininja i went insane one summer. heard empty popcans dripping, people talking under bridges where noone was. i even saw a ufo, and heard a box of goldfish laugh at me. i had a few panic attacks. i spent the entire summer convinced i was going to die at any minute from just about anything. i could see a pencil and figure out how it could kill me by midnight. but i'm fine now. what an idiot. 030720
...
Sam Vaknin "You can know the name of a bird in all the languages of the world, but when you're finished, you'll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird… So let's look at the bird and see what it's doing – that's what counts. I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something."

Richard Feynman, Physicist and 1965 Nobel Prize laureate (1918-1988)

"You have all I dare say heard of the animal spirits and how they are transfused from father to son etcetera etcetera – well you may take my word that nine parts in ten of a man's sense or his nonsense, his successes and miscarriages in this world depend on their motions and activities, and the different tracks and trains you put them into, so that when they are once set a-going, whether right or wrong, away they go cluttering like hey-go-mad."

Lawrence Sterne (1713-1758), "The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman" (1759)

I. Overview

Someone is considered mentally "ill" if:

His conduct rigidly and consistently deviates from the typical, average behaviour of all other people in his culture and society that fit his profile (whether this conventional behaviour is moral or rational is immaterial), or

His judgment and grasp of objective, physical reality is impaired, and

His conduct is not a matter of choice but is innate and irresistible, and

His behavior causes him or others discomfort, and is

Dysfunctional, self-defeating, and self-destructive even by his own yardsticks.

Descriptive criteria aside, what is the essence of mental disorders? Are they merely physiological disorders of the brain, or, more precisely of its chemistry? If so, can they be cured by restoring the balance of substances and secretions in that mysterious organ? And, once equilibrium is reinstated – is the illness "gone" or is it still lurking there, "under wraps", waiting to erupt? Are psychiatric problems inherited, rooted in faulty genes (though amplified by environmental factors) – or brought on by abusive or wrong nurturance?

These questions are the domain of the "medical" school of mental health.

Others cling to the spiritual view of the human psyche. They believe that mental ailments amount to the metaphysical discomposure of an unknown medium – the soul. Theirs is a holistic approach, taking in the patient in his or her entirety, as well as his milieu.

The members of the functional school regard mental health disorders as perturbations in the proper, statistically "normal", behaviours and manifestations of "healthy" individuals, or as dysfunctions. The "sick" individual – ill at ease with himself (ego-dystonic) or making others unhappy (deviant) – is "mended" when rendered functional again by the prevailing standards of his social and cultural frame of reference.

In a way, the three schools are akin to the trio of blind men who render disparate descriptions of the very same elephant. Still, they share not only their subject matter – but, to a counter intuitively large degree, a faulty methodology.

As the renowned anti-psychiatrist, Thomas Szasz, of the State University of New York, notes in his article "The Lying Truths of Psychiatry", mental health scholars, regardless of academic predilection, infer the etiology of mental disorders from the success or failure of treatment modalities.

This form of "reverse engineering" of scientific models is not unknown in other fields of science, nor is it unacceptable if the experiments meet the criteria of the scientific method. The theory must be all-inclusive (anamnetic), consistent, falsifiable, logically compatible, monovalent, and parsimonious. Psychological "theories" – even the "medical" ones (the role of serotonin and dopamine in mood disorders, for instance) – are usually none of these things.

The outcome is a bewildering array of ever-shifting mental health "diagnoses" expressly centred around Western civilisation and its standards (example: the ethical objection to suicide). Neurosis, a historically fundamental "condition" vanished after 1980. Homosexuality, according to the American Psychiatric Association, was a pathology prior to 1973. Seven years later, narcissism was declared a "personality disorder", almost seven decades after it was first described by Freud.

II. Personality Disorders

Indeed, personality disorders are an excellent example of the kaleidoscopic landscape of "objective" psychiatry.

The classification of Axis II personality disorders – deeply ingrained, maladaptive, lifelong behavior patterns – in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition, text revision [American Psychiatric Association. DSM-IV-TR, Washington, 2000] – or the DSM-IV-TR for short – has come under sustained and serious criticism from its inception in 1952, in the first edition of the DSM.

The DSM IV-TR adopts a categorical approach, postulating that personality disorders are "qualitatively distinct clinical syndromes" (p. 689). This is widely doubted. Even the distinction made between "normal" and "disordered" personalities is increasingly being rejected. The "diagnostic thresholds" between normal and abnormal are either absent or weakly supported.

The polythetic form of the DSM's Diagnostic Criteria – only a subset of the criteria is adequate grounds for a diagnosis – generates unacceptable diagnostic heterogeneity. In other words, people diagnosed with the same personality disorder may share only one criterion or none.
The DSM fails to clarify the exact relationship between Axis II and Axis I disorders and the way chronic childhood and developmental problems interact with personality disorders.

The differential diagnoses are vague and the personality disorders are insufficiently demarcated. The result is excessive co-morbidity (multiple Axis II diagnoses).
The DSM contains little discussion of what distinguishes normal character (personality), personality traits, or personality style (Millon) – from personality disorders.

A dearth of documented clinical experience regarding both the disorders themselves and the utility of various treatment modalities.
Numerous personality disorders are "not otherwise specified" – a catchall, basket "category".

Cultural bias is evident in certain disorders (such as the Antisocial and the Schizotypal).
The emergence of dimensional alternatives to the categorical approach is acknowledged in the DSM-IV-TR itself:

“An alternative to the categorical approach is the dimensional perspective that Personality Disorders represent maladaptive variants of personality traits that merge imperceptibly into normality and into one another” (p.689)

The following issues – long neglected in the DSM – are likely to be tackled in future editions as well as in current research. But their omission from official discourse hitherto is both startling and telling:

The longitudinal course of the disorder(s) and their temporal stability from early childhood onwards;

The genetic and biological underpinnings of personality disorder(s);

The development of personality psychopathology during childhood and its emergence in adolescence;

The interactions between physical health and disease and personality disorders;

The effectiveness of various treatments – talk therapies as well as psychopharmacology.

III. The Biochemistry and Genetics of Mental Health

Certain mental health afflictions are either correlated with a statistically abnormal biochemical activity in the brain – or are ameliorated with medication. Yet the two facts are not ineludibly facets of the same underlying phenomenon. In other words, that a given medicine reduces or abolishes certain symptoms does not necessarily mean they were caused by the processes or substances affected by the drug administered. Causation is only one of many possible connections and chains of events.

To designate a pattern of behaviour as a mental health disorder is a value judgment, or at best a statistical observation. Such designation is effected regardless of the facts of brain science. Moreover, correlation is not causation. Deviant brain or body biochemistry (once called "polluted animal spirits") do exist – but are they truly the roots of mental perversion? Nor is it clear which triggers what: do the aberrant neurochemistry or biochemistry cause mental illness – or the other way around?

That psychoactive medication alters behaviour and mood is indisputable. So do illicit and legal drugs, certain foods, and all interpersonal interactions. That the changes brought about by prescription are desirable – is debatable and involves tautological thinking. If a certain pattern of behaviour is described as (socially) "dysfunctional" or (psychologically) "sick" – clearly, every change would be welcomed as "healing" and every agent of transformation would be called a "cure".

The same applies to the alleged heredity of mental illness. Single genes or gene complexes are frequently "associated" with mental health diagnoses, personality traits, or behaviour patterns. But too little is known to establish irrefutable sequences of causes-and-effects. Even less is proven about the interaction of nature and nurture, genotype and phenotype, the plasticity of the brain and the psychological impact of trauma, abuse, upbringing, role models, peers, and other environmental elements.

Nor is the distinction between psychotropic substances and talk therapy that clear-cut. Words and the interaction with the therapist also affect the brain, its processes and chemistry - albeit more slowly and, perhaps, more profoundly and irreversibly. Medicines – as David Kaiser reminds us in "Against Biologic Psychiatry" (Psychiatric Times, Volume XIII, Issue 12, December 1996) – treat symptoms, not the underlying processes that yield them.

IV. The Variance of Mental Disease

If mental illnesses are bodily and empirical, they should be invariant both temporally and spatially, across cultures and societies. This, to some degree, is, indeed, the case. Psychological diseases are not context dependent – but the pathologizing of certain behaviours is. Suicide, substance abuse, narcissism, eating disorders, antisocial ways, schizotypal symptoms, depression, even psychosis are considered sick by some cultures – and utterly normative or advantageous in others.

This was to be expected. The human mind and its dysfunctions are alike around the world. But values differ from time to time and from one place to another. Hence, disagreements about the propriety and desirability of human actions and inaction are bound to arise in a symptom-based diagnostic system.

As long as the pseudo-medical definitions of mental health disorders continue to rely exclusively on signs and symptoms – i.e., mostly on observed or reported behaviours – they remain vulnerable to such discord and devoid of much-sought universality and rigor.

V. Mental Disorders and the Social Order

The mentally sick receive the same treatment as carriers of AIDS or SARS or the Ebola virus or smallpox. They are sometimes quarantined against their will and coerced into involuntary treatment by medication, psychosurgery, or electroconvulsive therapy. This is done in the name of the greater good, largely as a preventive policy.

Conspiracy theories notwithstanding, it is impossible to ignore the enormous interests vested in psychiatry and psychopharmacology. The multibillion dollar industries involving drug companies, hospitals, managed healthcare, private clinics, academic departments, and law enforcement agencies rely, for their continued and exponential growth, on the propagation of the concept of "mental illness" and its corollaries: treatment and research.

VI. Mental Ailment as a Useful Metaphor

Abstract concepts form the core of all branches of human knowledge. No one has ever seen a quark, or untangled a chemical bond, or surfed an electromagnetic wave, or visited the unconscious. These are useful metaphors, theoretical entities with explanatory or descriptive power.

"Mental health disorders" are no different. They are shorthand for capturing the unsettling quiddity of "the Other". Useful as taxonomies, they are also tools of social coercion and conformity, as Michel Foucault and Louis Althusser observed. Relegating both the dangerous and the idiosyncratic to the collective fringes is a vital technique of social engineering.

The aim is progress through social cohesion and the regulation of innovation and creative destruction. Psychiatry, therefore, is reifies society's preference of evolution to revolution, or, worse still, to mayhem. As is often the case with human endeavour, it is a noble cause, unscrupulously and dogmatically pursued.
031014
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iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl i saw satan in my wall
his eyes were flaming and staring at me
i could feel his malevolence
i looked at my other wall and saw grey shadow-like slug things slithering in and out of the area by the light switch.
i blinked.
still there.
i hid under the covers.
peeked out.
still there.
i screamed at it.
still there.
i ran out of the room and splashed water on my face.
went back.
it had gone.
i could still feel a presence.

maybe it was a demon.
maybe im insane.

please help me
am i insane?
040101
...
u24 everybody is insane.
everybody is abnormal.

having visions does not mean you are insane - you evidently still have a grip on reality, splashing water on face, etc.

my advice is not to let these thoughts in your home or mind again. do not dwell on them, shake them off as absurd.
040101
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iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl i will put it out of my head :D
i hope that it does not happen again
thank you
040102
...
neesh sleep deprivation is casually leading me here. aside from the industrial strenght headache pills making me feel sick, it's not too bad, gave me time to do some revision (i didn't do any, but i had the time, at least), to read and write, to think, and most of all to feel really frustrated, alone, awake and in pain.

is going mad.
040108
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Alpha_Shell the thing that seperates me from the people on the other side of the comfy whiteout 040207
...
hugslut the ablility to live in one's ideal world-a big down comforter-bubble gum- It's what gets me out of bed in the morning, and keeps me out at night. A big pot of coffee. I love coffee, coffee and sugar, very good, very very good. Theatre is insanity, like a magnet for those with the most deep seed and bizarre forms of it. It's a bubble. It's a goose. Pie, ducks, and campfires. It's the drive up ATM, with braile. It's the surgeon general's warning on the pack of ciarettes, or the "these items are meant for the use of tobacco and other legal herbs" sign above pipes and bongs....um, yeah, like they believe that. Ignorance. Stubbornness. Dancing in the rain, laughing for no reason, free hugs, naps in the grass, walks on the beach. We are all insane, just some more so than others. 040330
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Lemon_Soda everyone else's opinion. 040330
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mad marrianne sane Always believed it a thing of degrees.
Insanity~delusions, persecutions, a twisting in the gut? the notions that to defend yourself against "them" u must scrutinise, as they do u? u climb into ur purple tower and wait, u wait and u wait untill finally they fuck up and they do, u r positive.
Smiles cut with razor sharpness, when u KNOW the REAL reason that THEY r smiling at u.
THEY r after u, everything , everyone its a FUCKING CONSPIRICY and they want to convince u THAT U R MAD????
u r TERRIFIED and u cant confide in any one. NOT A SOLE.
****************************************
In retrospect u understand that most of it was u, ur mind analising~but the time gaps and the books~page after page of "their" plans.
*
the most sound arguments can no longer b rationalised, ..just....nonsensicle....ramblings......
U r now "sane" but secretly, a whispering remains from here on after, u still believe in "them"~ only never quiete figured out the whos or the hows
040421
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marrianne lefaye oh i just noticed~
my name is MARRIANNE
MARRI ANNE
INSAN*E

u see dont u? dont u? well im not, but tis funny. ~ so r u, in a really nutty sorta way, all of U!!!

*chuckles*

thats all i have to say, for once.cheers.
040421
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Me La Ha-Ha "IN" sanity. A label created by those who do not have the sanity to see the horror of reality. 040421
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kx21 Subset of A_string_of_obscenities... 040421
...
kx21 or to be precise:-

The knot in a_string_of_obscenities...
040421
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kimmyness ...oh how i enjoy it, this insanity...it's a crazy thing 040622
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spiffy who wants to be normal? that's just no fun. 040622
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love & hate something that is consuming me with my darkened thoughts and blurred visions of darkness, love, hate, Katie. 040623
...
skinny people with who have schizophrenia have above normal amounts of dmt in their bodies. Dmt is produces by the brain, but isalso a , you can find it lots of places. You know the frog that get you high? that’s a kind of dmt. Dmt is found in nature.

jesus was probably insane, charles was probably insane, buddha didn’t see insanity, was still probably “crazy.” insanity is the depth of depravity. But its also a way to label the human thing, which is bad. also, insanity is right. everyone is cutting themselves. I guess its something where you have to see the depths, see yourself and everything else not as material beings, you come out of your mind.

sensory depravation is when you see everything for what it is. perfection is the most ridiculous thought.

about a year ago, my parents told me i could take the pills or go to an institution. I chose to take the pills, figuring they would give me pills at the institution anyway, and I was causing a lot of pain to my mother who had been on prozac for 3 years prior to this all happening. After about 3 months I noticed a clear difference, I could like “smell” things I couldn’t smell before and feel other connections. But I was completely to the world. I might as well have been a junkie. I didn’t even know who I was, I had even less of a sense of self than before. Just waisting each day watching tv subsisting on the alone. Its because it wasn’t the natural thing to do, my progress and everything I had learned were changed. the thoughts in your head cant be slowed down, there’s a million factors in everything, there’s pain, enlightenment, irrelevance, a beginning, an end, a sence of not knowing.

Sorry about the story, just some ramblings
040623
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minnesota_chris sensory depravation? That's a delightful misspelling. Are your senses deprave? 040623
...
minnesota_chris sensory depravation? That's a delightful misspelling. Are your senses depraved? 040623
...
skinny deprivation...

im so sorry
040623
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minnesota_chris it was more interesting the other way. 040625
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xXShadow_GoddessXx a time when the mind begins to slip away, fall deeper into itself. But when the mind begins to wonder, is that when brain compassity increases, since the normal human mind only uses 10% of it's brain data...so then if that is true are the sane... insane? 040823
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case blathering pandering rambling what does it mean where does it lead? 040926
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sour times soul you are stupid, and for this i hate you...bitch ass 040926
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bri confused adn angry
sad and abused
you'd think something would give
after being so used
but nothing will keep it
from happening again
until the victim
is finally at wits end
when they're finally insane
and wanting to die
they continue to allow the world
to pass them by
the abuser lets them go
and allows them to leave
but not before removing
thea broken heart
taht dangles on a lonely string-
041120
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chews is the absents of thoughts,meaning,feelings,compeled to be alone and never knowing realality from pretend..god i love it 041201
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breezy insanity isnt just a word...it's a way of life
its the absents of thoughts,meaning,fear,happiness,sadnesscompeled to be alone and never knowing realality from pretend..god i love it
041201
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breezy *insanity isnt just a word...it's a way of life
its the absents of thoughts,meaning,fear,happiness,sadnesscompeled to be alone and never knowing realality from pretend..god i love it*
041201
...
bri *insanity isnt just a word...it's a way of life
its the absents of thoughts,meaning,fear,happiness,sadnesscompeled to be alone and never knowing realality from pretend..god i love it*
041201
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XMalice i have an ex that has lost his mind. not sure when it happened, but now he's even more random and frightening than he was before. it's like he's reverted to the disconnectedness of high school, and now nothing is sacred or calming or good anymore. never really noticed while we were together. i think it's gotten worse. i'm afraid for him and I'm afraid for his current girlfriend, whom i truely love more than I can say 050514
...
Mike It's okay to have every once and a while. Like sign of good things... 050823
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Mike It's okay to have every once and a while. Like a sign of good things... 050823
...
i try and i try and i try

and i fail and i fail and i fail
060105
...
haha there there monkey - 060105
...
AMEN NO EVIL... 060105
...
gabrielle or neandrethal I am stretched out again on my bed.
And I feel like the sqare he gets naseous looking at from such great heights.
I hear him humming in his plane and if he's intensive or intimidating, his plane is glorious.
I don't care about the stretches anymore or the cuts or bruises,
maybe he'll or hell will pity me.
I was a lover to a poet of secret name,
and me thedust which
shatters over your captivity
your own gravity
when I feel gentle he can see through
these granite worm globes of
magic...long sealed within
Salem and Christ.
My breast hung after Eden
so I sell my bread and fish
to winding highways and lulling trains
speak now...I do sleep. Deep deep.
She or He He He drinks his water
they stare frozen, I cannot
be contained nor forget every letter
sylable phrase. Everything bad happened at once and beyond so scattered,
then every ill fell upon my worried head
pale I thought the earth himself had
pressed a nail
or complete obliteration every ill
but not
and as quick as it came from maddening words every good lifted
lifting me from ruins and I said.
This. This I take, this I choose and the rage mad hurt it is still beautiful,
but bury please for a cement might hold it until I can kill this ugly ruby dragon which I truly think is absolutely gorging beautiouse creature.
So my womb feels soft and sinks under
then, picture it.

I choose not incantations of the same
longing or hate or this word we cant name, that we name and they so many
rewrite and erase and turn into etched
so many marks to make it
another of the
his is the
of eve
she broke
your young high
quick breathe of storm winter
gross
and would Christ be moved to tears
or shivering abandonment
because is he all shall we kneel before him , Heal thee? Heal thee?
You take all! Unguilty, I give you all my [pity, and share to this Greater God a thought, prayers, poems,
then I am Christ, but I am not of the name Christ, but I smell Eve and taste
your warmth and feel Shakespeare
and touch your sorrow hear you cry
and he sits upon his white throne
and was moved to sickness, he pukes
and get sick and I am sorry. Because I feel emotion for him. Now.

But every incredible name doesn't have to float on in invinite space or void when we let go we slip out from this and she still expresses gravity so others might rise from it. And they do they do they rise, even if selfish men don't see it! I do! She speaks to them but she is unafraid now. They told me I wasn't christ and then they took
yet not enough to hand me the cross
I'd rather the cross!
I would have been nailed to the cross along his side a crown of thorns before this empire of white, rubble and dust,
my birthland homeland being destroyed.

We are all Jews.
We are all Buddhist
Muslim
Athiest
God
All
Judah
Prophet
Hero
Martyr
You will rise
rise and be born of gentle rain
flower,
oh kneel
so innocent yet so
so much undescribed


tiptoe until you are dizzy but oh the softness of the warm gentle light
the sun as it's blooms or is born
we all see the same circle, glow
and if you stare now you'll see it she he matrix of devine soul
now talks to you,
I almost held onto the breaking glass
but I didn't
it's unsafe to move this fast fury fury murder hearts, history oh woo I love thee
sweep me up with such terrible murderous symphony. a period. ending.
so stick your tonguelike needles which of who tempts thee towards
the nightly buzzing wombs of wasps
tongue in the crouching catapiller or
mundane "she is insane"
Yes...I am insane because I now say I am insane so you fools may mock me until locked within metal plates or iron
wisped curls you wanted me to prove you wrong. And I did.

just so you may know the pearl diamond of emerald life you hold now
effervescent presence that sparks

no word deserves murder
no heart a crown of thorns
in my heart
the cosmos stare unfixed
dip the hand into the water
taste it with your thin skin
though we shiver because











we are too akin.
060502
...
Rob Fanner yesterday i felt like an elephant

does that make me crazy??

please help




CRAZY FOOL!
061213
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monkeyoutinspace everybody in blather is loco. 061213
...
. real value comes with 070517
...
self I know that I am crazy, But does it make me wrong? I think not. You can blame it on the drugs if you want, but you'd be wrong.I haven't smoked in 2 months and I still sence horrible things. I still sense your lies. So either you lied when you told me that you are not making me think im crazy to cover up your tracks and u just dont care about me at all, or It's just my self conciouse telling my actual concious what it doesnt want to hear...that i'm through with you.
or maybe im just paranoid. either way..
071231
...
Stephanie Wilson Stephanie Wilson,
needs to cry.

feels strange crying,
feels weak crying.

has difficulty explaining why...

difficult to explain anything real,
lives in a dream world where everything can be changed.

smoothed over, fit to mold, everything can be fixed in this world.

believes in the power of sound,
the power of art,
the power of emotion, and the power of others.

and sees none of this in herself. no power
no art,
... no sound. ... no others...
-no emotion, most importantly.

nothing to love, something to laugh at.
stephanie wilson feels hollow inside.

stuffed to the brim with fiction,
lies, and stories. a painted picture of what she wants to be,
but has no idea what she is.

no one, and everyone, can be blamed for the mess
that is me.

i,
am,
messy.

i am
unrealistic,

i am not dreaming.
i hardly do,

and no one knows me.


i want to be medicated and left alone.

or for once,
i'd like
to feel like i fit.
080420
...
hsg learns_to_laugh_at_itself 080421
...
Naomi I am spontaneously combustible
I burn with desire at your every touch
I am edible
but you don't need to eat much
I am visible
but I am slowly disappearing
I am audible
the burns are searing
I am tangible
but be careful of the flame
I am incredible
or so you claim
I am weightless
but when I float, only I know
I am sightless
but my closed eyes can still glow
I am fearless
consciousness is my only fear
I am endless
you'll never get near
I am mindless
I lost my mind in the fire
I am relentless
I will never tire
091211
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from