substances
W.C.
I've
just
had
a
terribly
frightening
experience
.
I've
been
ruminating
on
the
struggles
of
the
work
schedule
and
how
it
prevents
me
from
accomplishing
things
I
would
like
to
do
regarding
finances
or
vacuuming
various
rooms
--I
began
to
realize
that
I
have
entire
days
off
in
which
I
could
accomplish
these
things
.
Yet
on
the
occasions
that
I
have
days
off
from
work
I
find
that
I
play
on
the
internet
the
whole
time
.
It's
been
a
long
term
addiction
for
me
,
and
I've
often
wondered
why
I
perpetuate
it
so
.
Then
comes
the
realization
that
I
use
it
as
a
means
to
escape
the
frustrations
of
life
,
and
substitute
accomplishments
there
for
accomplishments
in
real
life
in
order
to
feel
fulfilled
.
I
pretend
to
accomplish
things
in
order
to
simulate
the
sensation
of
accomplishing
things
,
which
I
only
don't
do
because
I'm
pretending
to
accomplish
things
when
I
could
be
actually
accomplishing
things
.
After
realizing
all
of
this
,
for
the
first
time
in
my
life
I
wished
I
could
get
high
.
070402
...
blue_j
The
thought
of
actually
doing
it
is
scary
...but
sometimes
I
do
think
that
I
would
feel
a
lot
better
if
I
could
just
exist
in
another
world
for
a
little
while
.
070402
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from