ask_god j_blue thought i should create it for whoever gets to be god at the moment to respond to whoever wants gods answers 001025 ... startfires god, are there colors that humans can't see? like yknow how dogs can only see red and green and brown or whatever it is. is there a whole other spectrum, like between the colors we can see? 001025 ... startfires um, also, why is ben&jerry's pistachio pistachio ice cream so wonderful? 001025 ... chanaka why does god have to be a man? 001025 ... chanaka and....why don't i believe in god? 001025 ... god i am god and i am man woman and everything, including you. 001025 ... silentbob god i dont want to disagree with erin, because i absolutely love her so, but... Cherry Garcia is good too. does that mean the ice cream she mentioned is not as good? and why dont me and chanaka believe in you? are you real? 001025 ... god it really doesn't matter if you believe in me or not. as for the ice cream, i like the kind w/ hershey's nutrageous all crumbled up in the vanilla. i think that is the best one. 001025 ... Barrett God, Do you really "Damn it" every time some one tells you to? And does "Jesus Christ" have the time to answer all those rhetorical questions? 001026 ... tourist It seems like You work under a lot of Different Names. Is this Because You are on the lam? And what's with all of this Pagan stuff? Is that some sort of Divine Schizophrenia, or what? 001026 ... god hi barrett. do you listen to syd barrett? i try to fill as many "goddamn" requests as possible, but since i am omnipotent (everywhere and part of everything), a lot of the damning comes from people who take matters into their own hands. since i inhabit every molecule of their being, i take credit for it. as for jesus, he's right here- i'll get him... 001026 ... jesus i've got a terrific backlog of rhetorical questions that i havn't gone through yet. luckily, rhetorical questions don't require answers, so i'll be getting to them soon. i've got all the time in the world (and everywhere else). 001026 ... god hi tourist. the stuff with all the different religions and deities and whatnot has more to do with marketing than anything else (example: crystal pepsi was a big hit in cleveland, but they prefer tab in peoria). different regions exhibit different preferences, so i take on many forms. since i exist everywhere all at once forever anyway, it's a piece of cake. 001026 ... j_blue why are all the religious or extremely abstract blatherings so damn long? i dont even want to try reading god, because, well, because i need my information diced into tiny literal bites, and i cant stand the idea of scrolling more than a half screen down, and you know it just sucks that so many people had so much to say, because now i will never know what even one of them said. does it ever end? or are we perpetually condemned to self censorship by laziness?? also, why couldnt you make chlorophyll more colorful? i mean all that green totally gets a little tired after like, the third week of existance... 001026 ... Barrett Yes, God I do listen to Syd Barrett. Cool! God likes Pink Floyd. If God likes beer, heaven is going to kick ass! 001026 ... god hi j_blue man i gotta tell ya, anything having to do with religion is ALWAYS tedious. believe me, i'm sick of it myself. if you think something is going on for too long, chances are you're not being entertained by it, and you should move on. don't worry about being perceived as lazy. i am a procrastinator myself. i got some new chlorophyll in the works. it's see-through! i'll get around to putting it out in a couple trillion years. 001026 ... god hi barrett all i listen to anymore is syd barrett. i like all floyd, but the early stuff w/ syd is my current fave. have you heard "vegetable man","apples and oranges", or "candy and a currant bun"?those are the "lost" floyd singles from '67. you can usually get them off napster. man, i gotta tell ya. my father-in-law left me half a keg (party leftover) all week and i've been giving that thing hell. that's a lot of beer. 001026 ... kx21 GOD's mistakes & contributions ------------------------------ dear GOD g1) What is good to be 'GOD'? g2) Why do people, including you prefer to be 'GOD' rather than to be THEMSELVES? g3) Is 'GOD' the only Creator of the UNIVERSE? g4) Who are you? GOD, GOD's Partner, real GOD's representative, phantom GOD's representative or son of GOD, ... g5) Did you inherit any GENE from GOD? g6) What are the mistakes made by GOD or you, a blathered GOD? What have GOD or you leant from those mistakes and how to correct those mistakes? g7) What are the major contributions from GOD to the UNIVERSE? Who can withness, confirm or justify those contributions, if any? 001026 ... god hi there kx21, and whew! as for yr. title, i gotta say that god's mistakes and contributions are one in the same. g1- what is good to be god? answer: what is good to be AND good to go. g2- i don't think preference has much to do with being. you are yourself no matter what you would rather be. if you saw me in the dimension of human perception, i'd look like any other guy, killing time between jerkin' my gherkin- but that doesn't mean i'm not also god. god is everywhere always. you are god. hi god, how are you? why do people prefer anything? that's what people are for. g3- i am sole creator of the universe. also i inhabit every part of the universe. in essence, i am the universe and you are a part of me and vice versa. you created the universe. g4- i am all that stuff and other stuff too. mostly i am just everything. g5- c'mon. genes are primitive technology to me. i got trillions of em' g6- mistakes are my greatest success. i've made every imaginable mistake (literally). i needed to make mistakes so people and everyone else would have something to compare with their successes. you certainly can't have one without the other. not for too long anyways. g7- pussy, beer, etc. can i get a witness? 001026 ... silentbob god do birthdays really matter? sure, it marks the date of ones birth...but do you think maybe we put too much stake into it? like...do we really owe anything just because its the anniversary of their mom going through labor? 001026 ... god hi silentbob. birthdays are funny things. look at it like this, if you will. it's the anniversary of a person's passing through the portal to this dimension. your reaction to that person's anniversary depends on your reaction to that person. you don't owe anyone anything unless you feel you do. 001026 ... god o yeh, click on colors for information regarding the question about colors from typhoid just know that human vision isn't capable of detecting many of the colors i've created. i'll fix that when i get around to it. 001026 ... kx21 dear GOD, Is it true that "You are sole creator of the universe. also you inhabit every part of the universe"? Assume that you stated is true, then g8) When the Universe is created? g9) What is your Purpose of this creation? Is this a mistake? g10) What are the resources (e.g. energy, etc) needed for this creation and where did you get those reasources from? g11) Can SOMETHING be found beyond or outside the Universe? g12) Who is GOD's creator? 001026 ... god hi there kx21 i am indeed sole creator of the universe, but since I AM the universe, i guess that everyone else is too. g8 when? imagine as far back time-wise as you possibly can. then go even further. it was WAAYY before that. i got resources everywhere. g9 purpose? my purpose was and is to entertain myself. (you can chose another purpose for yourself if you like, but i prefer entertainment). g10 resources? i got resources out the yang. look up at the sun. that's like a dead watch battery to me. i got resources everywhere. g11 outside? yes. outside the universe is more universe. g12 god's creator? i dunno. maybe it was you. i suspect that it was everything and everyone else also. do you like ice cream? 001027 ... kx21 dear GOD I suppose GOD would prefer Ice than Cream as to Nature than Artificial. g13) Is it true that YOU can't move or travel faster than Speed of Light? g14) Are all the Physical Laws found by our renowned scientists valid? g15) As sole Creator of the Universe, what are the new or addtional items, elements, objects, rules, problems, etc. you planned to add into the Universe? And what are the items you want to remove from the Universe? g16) Do you have any plans to destroy the Universe? When and why? g17) Did you ever delegate your tasks or pass your Probelems & Bugs to somebody? Why? 001027 ... god g13- no, you can go lot's faster than light. g14- i gotta tell you. i don't believe in "science". those guys just make that stuff up. g15- you can't add to the universe. it's all already here. you can move stuff around, though. as soon as you go "outside" the universe, you soon realize that you're still in the universe. i can't really leave stuff "outside". g16- it's already been destroyed countless times. why? i get bored . as soon as i finish destroying it, however, i realize that it never really went away. i just moved things around a little bit. g17- why? you not busy? 001028 ... kx21 dear GOD, g18)Is it true that you are talented in passing your problems or bugs around the Universe? g19) With you best effort, are you able to solve all past, present and future problems and issues in the Universe? g20) How do you differential 'Right' from 'Wrong', 'Good' from 'Bad' and 'chaos' from 'order'? g21) Is the Universe more chaotic now as compared to the past? 001028 ... god kx21- g18- i got mad skills yo. i sling shit in every direction. better duck! g19. not only that, but i gotta create the problems too! g20- all that stuff is simply a matter of perception and perspective. not all beings in the universe operate by the same set of rules. my order is your chaos. g21- sometimes, but not usually 001028 ... the devil god is a dickhead. 001029 ... god fuck you. 001030 ... the devil i'm about sick of you running your mouth. i ought to come over there now and poke you w/ my pitchfork! 001030 ... god eat me! 001030 ... Grendel In Excelsis Deo and in the end it's what the fighting's all about 001030 ... god floyd is the best, man. actually the devil and i are really close. we just exchange words now and again to keep up appearances. 001030 ... the devil yeah. it's all a sham. i love ya, big guy! 001030 ... god right back atcha, bro. 001030 ... John This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him. 001030 ... god john- you havn't been reading the bible have you? sure i did all that stuff, but i did a lot of stuff before then, too. right now i'm taking questions and hanging around w/ the devil, talkin' 'bout the good ol' days. do you have any questions? 001031 ... god oh yeah. take a pill, relax. don't believe everything you read. 001031 ... j_blue dear god why is everything sucky, and why are people so evil? i myself am a mean ass mo fo, and am totally weirded out by it. are there alot of people who alienate themselves? is there a twelve step program somewhere? 001031 ... god j blue- hey man. everything is sucky because things are going to be great later on, and no one will know unless things are sucky now. if being a mean ass mo-fo weirds you out, then maybe you aren't comfortable as a mean ass mo-fo. maybe you should wear sweats and other loose fitting clothing. get some converse chuck taylors. yes, lots of people alienate themselves. i sometimes feel totally alone and helpless myself. i have to release these anxieties as displays of aggression. i'll go out in the backyard and beat on a teletubby doll with a sledgehammer. as long as you have a release, you should be fine. entertaining myself is my main interest. i recommend an album called "sheik yerbouti" by FRANK ZAPPA. i also like to light up a fatty and crank up some floyd. remember, bro- i'm here anytime you need me. 001031 ... god oh yeh j blue- people are evil because they feel alienated. i don't know of any 12- step programs, but i do unlimited step therapy for free. 001031 ... kx21 dear GOD, g22) Are you still in Control of the Universe? g23) What is the Size of the Universe now ? Is it growing bigger or becoming smaller? g24) Is there any bubble(s) formed in the Universe? When will it burst? g25) Is 'Heaven' part of the Universe? g26) Where are you now? Heaven or Hell? g27) Do you have a final say on who could live in Heaven? g28) Is it true that sometimes you prefer to be evil rather than FAIR or GOOD as perveived by others? g29) How do you justify or show your evil thought/ behaviour or actions, which are actually FAIR and GOOD for the Universe? 001101 ... god gx21- how ya doin'? g22- i've never been in total control of the universe nor have i ever wanted to be. maybe i ought to give it a try sometime. g23- the universe is infinite in every direction and in every dimension. the "bigness" never ends, nor the "smallness". g24-lots of bubbles, continuously forming and bursting. g25- "heaven" is literally everywhere. everything is part of the universe. g26- i am also everywhere. g27- heaven is different for everyone. i usually let the individual decide where they want to go. g28- yes, i can be evil. i am everywhere, so i am also what many call "the devil". g29- i don't have to justify anything to anyone. 001101 ... god hey all. just to let you know, i'll be going to mexico for a couple of weeks. if you need anything, ask satan. see you soon, god 001101 ... guitar_freak Dear god, Why do I have to suffer through life? Depression kills people you know. Why did god create depression if he is so loving? Why would suicide exist if god wasn't the devil himself? I am sick and tired of having to deal with drugs and depression that I could literally kill myself. I get so pissed at you because everyone hails you for being so kind and forgiving. You aren't even there. You don't give a fucking shit about what happens to anybody. YOU created AIDS. YOU created DEPRESSION, YOU created MURDER, you took away the peace and made everyone kill each other. Yet, us imperfect humans don't put the blame on you, they put it on themselves and the "devil". So if I was a fucking Christian I would believe that The apple in the garden of eden condemed the whole human race of eternal suffering. If god was so forgiving he would have forgave Adam and Eve. god is bullshit 001103 ... Satan Mephistopheles Apollyon Dear Guitar_Freak Hey, cheer up. At least you're not me. After a few millenia I've learned to adjust somewhat, but I'm not really any happier since I got sent to the basement. This is the plan and purpose I was created for. You people actually have free_will. You can reinvent yourself, you can change your surroundings. You are self-determining. Even little brother Jeebus (he still hates it when I call him that)got to taste free_will when he was down here. When I walk among you, I may be the life of the party, I may be everybody's pal, but when it's all said and done at the end of the night, i still go home alone. Except for me and the rest of the choir, nothing is cast in stone. He set you in motion and chose to sit and watch from there. If you people had been listening in the beginning (and i don't mean those silly children in the garden) you'd have heard me whispering to you through all of your most primal instincts that this is all just randomness and accidents. Try drafting a plan to redecorate Hell into someplace at least semi-tolerable and then tell me how miserable your existence is. OK, I'll admit, I'm bitter. But then again, I do have the Abyss to look forward to, so I guess that's something. 001103 ... Satan ...and don't get me started on love. You people get to taste it. I get to sit here for eternity and be jealous because every time I fall, the truth of who I am brings it crashing down. Who really wants to be the Queen of Hell anyway? 001103 ... guitar_freak I wouldn't mind being the Queen of hell! I think I could fit the job description quite nicely sometimes... 001103 ... tuba and triangle freak hey guitar freak- what kinda guitar ya got? 001103 ... Barrett 69' Fender Strat, strung upside down for a left handed genius? 001103 ... not no one else but me IT'S A 65 HAGSTROM II NECK WITH A LACE P'UP, HEIT DELUXE PLYWOOD SG STYLE BODY, FENDER AM. STD. TUNERS. 001103 ... not no one else but me o yeh. tht's great! ever heard "the day the laughter died?" it sez on it : this record contains no jokes 001103 ... not no one else but me my dad had a '54 ford fairlane. 001103 ... guitar_freak I have a Ibanez RG-560. It is a 6 string, black. Ahh it is my one true love. Everyone should learn how to play the guitar. It is the best thing i have learned to do so far. 001104 ... no one else but me everybody should learn to play an instrument. guitars are good tools for manipulating sound patterns. 001104 ... tuba and triangle freak that is kool, but i only play tuba and triangle 001104 ... THE DEMON EDITH YOU KIDS SHOULD RUN ALONG AND PLAY. THIS ISN'T "GUITAR TALK". ONE MORE OUTBURST AND I'LL TELL SATAN THAT YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING WITH "ASK GOD"! 001104 ... SatanSatanSatan i noticed, but since i am acting in God's stead here i figured it only right that there should be moments when i'm not paying attention 001106 ... guitar_freak well, personally, I think guitars have a lot to do with god. Music is passion and so is god, right? Music is my god to a certain degree. So therefore it does fit into the ask god catagory 001106 ... god hey yo, i'm back! special thanks to satan for filling in, and also for a top drawer job of buggering the presidential election in the states. 001116 ... kx21 g30) Is Vampire real? g31) Who are your Enemies? g32) What is good about GOD as compared to the DEVIL? 001116 ... god hey pal! miss me? i'm back. g30- vampires aren't scheduled to become reality for another 700,000 years, but that could change at any second. g31-mainly religious fanatics. no shit. these people have got to give it a rest. g32-well, i am better (or "gooder" if you will), simply by not fucking up on purpose. i am trying to do my best. when i fuck up, it's accidental. 001117 ... god http://mp3.com/velvetspasm oh yeh. this is the soundtrack to a movie which hasn't been made yet. 001117 ... psychobabe hey god, I just wanted to know, are you and satan buds again, cuz I think your both pretty sexy, me, you, satan, minaj-et-toi? 001122 ... Satan (in incubus mode) it's a love/hate thang, baby. ~~~unzips his human suit for awhile and stretches the black feathered wings~~~ hey pops..if you ain't in on this, maybe we'll start without you...hehe 001122 ... psychobabe any way you like it baby! 001122 ... god hey wait a minute! don't start yet!! satan and i have had our ups and downs (no shit!), but perhaps this could be the start of something new! as long as we don't touch each other (satan and i), and as long as he doesn't call me pops! jesus! i hate that! hey psycho babe- describe yourself. 001122 ... psyhcobabe my my my! Aren't we demanding on the rules god? 001123 ... you know who So there you are psyhcobabe, I have been looking for you everywhere. Here you are flirting with the guys again. Damn can't you keep your wiener in your pants. 001123 ... psychobabe what the hell? My weiner? Dude I am a chick, if i was a guy why would i be called psychobabe? 001123 ... Barrett Will she call me? If so, should I call her back? 001124 ... god psychobabe- i was just curious as to yr. appearance. don't get self conscious. i am no tyrone power myself. i think we could do this manage a trois thing. is here a good place? 001124 ... god barrett- if you want to talk to her, call her. tell her EXACTLY how you feel. expose your true feelings. if she doesn't want to know, then fuck it. there's lots more where she came from. 001124 ... psychobabe oh god, heres a great place! 001126 ... Glory Box God, who is going to win the American election, and please God, tell me that the Liberals will win the Canadian one. I might have to emmigrate if the Alliance wins, and I'm relatively happy in the Frozen North. 001126 ... silentbob i already told yoU! bush_wins ! 001126 ... god psycho babe! let's get it on. i am taking off my robe now... glory box- the election? hmmm. i kinda put satan in charge of all elections this year. silentbob sez it's bush in the usa. satan at work there definitely. satan should be here soon to help me get it on with psycho babe. you can ask him about canada then. (or ask_satan). 001126 ... kx21 dear GOD, g33) Is Heaven Real or an Illusion? g34) Is Hell a Marketing Plot by renowned R's thinker to justify GOD's existence or fool the Human Beings who don't believe in GOD or GOD's existence? 001126 ... god kx21- heaven and hell are different things to different people. most people don't believe in them any more, for those people, heaven and hell do not exist. 001127 ... psychobabe dont you love that song by marvin gaye, lets get it on????? I think its great 001127 ... god oh yeh. i got it on the hi-fi right now as we speak. did you know that marvin gaye died for your sins? may i take off your shoes? 001128 ... kx21 dear GOD, g35) What is your definition of SINS? g36) What are the causes of SINS? g37) What are the ways to eliminate & remove the SINS? g38) What are the SINS created or committed by you? 001128 ... god (a.k.a. the iron sausage kx21- sins? sins are only necessary because i needed to have something to serve as the opposite of goodness. sins are basically risks. some people think "bigger risk = bigger sin".this is NOT TRUE. the more a person harms others with his risky behavior, the bigger the sin. this applies to everyone. i came up with satan, therefore i am responsible for all sins. my sins? i've done some pretty bad shit. i don't think i'm ready to talk about it right now. p.s. hey everybody! check out amy's_bible. i just want to thank her for the sorely needed update. 001128 ... god (a.k.a. the iron sausage) kx21- sins? sins are only necessary because i needed to have something to serve as the opposite of goodness. sins are basically risks. some people think "bigger risk = bigger sin".this is NOT TRUE. the more a person harms others with his risky behavior, the bigger the sin. this applies to everyone. i came up with satan, therefore i am responsible for all sins. my sins? i've done some pretty bad shit. i don't think i'm ready to talk about it right now. p.s. hey everybody! check out amy's_bible. i just want to thank her for the sorely needed update. 001128 ... god i'm also known variously as "the repeater" and "the correcter" 001128 ... god in some circles, they call me "the dumbass" 001128 ... SCOTT I AM THE CULMINATION OF HUMAN EVOLUTION AS YOU ARE AWARE GOD, THINK YOU MADE A BOO-BOO YOU'RE A NAUGHTY GIRL PSYCHO BABE!!! GOOD FOR YA 001129 ... SCOTT ok, questions:What about the Buddha? The concept of not mind? explain that, since you previously stated that you adapt to different regions, I assume that you influenced the Enlightened One, but how can you reconcile his teachings w/yours? also, if one does not believe in you, it is stated that you gonna burn, that's really crappy of you, you know. also, again, what's up w/migraines, depression disorders, and mean and ugly chicks? i am waiting for your words (ha ha ) of wisdom PS-I APPROVED OF THE FLOOD, BUT HOW COME ZARATHUSTRAS TEACHINGS PREDATE ANY KNOWN JUDEO/CHRISTIAN CONCEPTS OF ONE GOD 001129 ... psychobabe hey, everyone is naughty in there own way, especially me?! So god, who's all up ther with you? How about Frank Sinatra, and the rat pack?? 001129 ... god the iron sausage scott- so your the culmination? i was wondering who was going to step forward and fulfill the prophecy which hasn't been written yet. did i make a boo-boo? hell, i fuck up all the time. is psycho babe naughty? i hope so. as for all this religion bullshit, it's just a bunch of crap for people who don't want to face infinity. does anybody still believe in hell? i hope not. it certainly wasn't my idea. depression? migraines? mean and ugly chicks? without these, we wouldn't have happiness, painlessness, and nice and pretty chicks. try talking to mean and ugly chicks. most of them will seem less mean and ugly. shit!- my buns are burning! i'll get back to ya later, scott. 001130 ... god ok. i'm glad you liked the flood. if i remember, it was a dude named gilgamesh who built the biggest boat. noah's was just a raft. the christians? zarathustra? don't believe those jokers. this shit was going on long before they got involved. psychobabe- sinatra is around here somewhere. we hardly ever see him. he pretty much stays close to the bars. sammy spends all his time in huge orgies. dean wanders the earth pulling pranks on bob hope. 001130 ... god "the correcter" scott- speaking of fucking up.... the first "your" should've been "you're". 001130 ... SCOTT (THE TEACHER) and you should capitalize the g in God. ok so infinity, that's cool, I do believe that nothing can be destroyed, only changed. About the flood, it was (I know I am spelling this incorrectly) Utnaputishm who survived the flood by the grace of Innana, Gilgamesh was a king of Uruk, who somehow was 2/3rds god. He tyrannized his people until they cried out to the gods for a savior, enter Enkidu, the wildman. Who was seduced by a harlot, brought to Uruk, where he battled w/Gilgamesh throughout the day. Enkidu was defeated, and Gilgy embraced him and called him brother. They had many adventures together but offended the gods when they killed the Great Bull of Heaven. The gods decided to kill one, who was Enkidu. He was given an illness, and wasted away. It took Gilgy a week to realize he was dead. (he had to see a maggot crawl out of his nose, yech!) Gilgamesh then went in search of eternal life for about 10 years, when he met Utnaputishm, who gave him a plant that would grant him youth (Utna was given eternal life by the gods) but Gilgy lost it to a snake. 001130 ... god really? i must've thinkin' about the other gilgamesh. 001130 ... god oh, and don't believe in everything presented as historical fact. ninety-nine percent of what everybody considers historical facts are just lies. take american history, for example. 001130 ... Lothar of the Tree People Golem is gonna put the smack down on all your asses. 001130 ... psychobabe aight, peoples, Take a breath, and chill!!!! I dont want any thinderbolts comeing from the heavens for scott, pissing god off, and god, take it easy. Were all buds here 001130 ... god (of the hill people) hey man, it' cool. scott knows lot's of stuff. some of it might be true. i really don't remember too well. 001130 ... kx21 dear GOD, g39) Are you still in Control of SATAN? g40) Is SATAN more imaginative and innovative than GOD? g41) Which is created by you, Chicken or Egg? 001204 ... god kx21- satan is pretty much runnin' his own show nowadays. i might have to reign him in after a while, but for now he is doin' a superlative job. more imaginative than me? i came up with pink floyd, and he came up with stryper. you decide. chicken or egg? both. 001205 ... kx21 dear GOD, g42) Do you Trust SATAN? g43) Did SATAN Trust you? g44) Are you afraid of SATAN? g45) Is SATAN trying all the means to get rid of you ? 001205 ... god kx21- i trust satan with little things like taking out the garbage and sweeping the porch. satan trusts me like no other. i can't remember ever lying to him. i am more afraid of what it would be like without him. what? is there something you're not telling me?? 001205 ... kx21 dear GOD, g46) Do you have any plan to remove SATAN from your UNIVERSE? g47) What are the similarities between you and SATAN? g48) When did you create Chicken & why did you do this? g49) You stated that you created both CHICHEN and EGG. What is the neccesity for you to create EGG, given that EGG can be created without your involvement? 001205 ... kx21 dear GOD, g46) Do you have any plan to remove SATAN from your UNIVERSE? g47) What are the similarities between you and SATAN? g48) When did you create CHICKEN & why did you do this? g49) You stated that you created both CHICKEN and EGG. What is the neccesity for you to create EGG, given that EGG can be created without your involvement? 001205 ... kx21 g49) You stated that you created both CHICKEN and EGG. What is the necessity for you to create EGG, given that EGG can be created without your involvement? 001206 ... SCOTT sorry god, i guess did not mean for you to take it personally, just trying to enlighten you to my favorit ancient myth and the first written story 001206 ... god kx21- could you repeat that? ha ha ha.... i see i'm not the only repeater lurking on blather. i don't have any plans to remove satan from the universe. anything outside the universe automatically becomes part of the universe as soon as it is imagined anyway. satan and i are similar in that we both like fried chicken and omelettes. not only did i create chicken and egg, but i created everything else (including myself). eggs are necessary to make omelettes. mmmmmmmmmm. scott- don't be sorry. i could probably learn something if i weren't so quick to dismiss everything everybody tells me. keep on chooglin'. 001206 ... kx21 dear GOD, g50) When did you create GOD? g51) When did you create SATAN? g52) Did you create GOD earlier than SATAN and CHICHEN? g53) Why did you allow HEN to produce EGG without COCK's involvement? g54) Who is the inventor of omelette? g55) Why do not get yourself involved in all the creation tasks? 001206 ... god kx21- i created god.... hmmmm i dunno... probably a couple years back. as soon as i thought god up, however, his existance instantly occupied all of time simultaneously. i came up with satan as soon as i came up with god. (balance, always). i am involved in everything, sometimes indirectly. creation is fun. feel free to do it yourself by all means. i invented omelette before chicken or egg. i was hungry, and it seemed like the perfect thing to put tabasco sauce on. i really don't know. virgin birth is a stupid idea. i suspect it was one of satan's pranks. chicken came after god n' satan. 001208 ... god (those might be out of order. perhaps i should go back to the numbering system you use). 001208 ... kx21 dear GOD, g56) What are the essential/ vital / key ingredients for life? g57) Is it true that Everything in the Universe is inseparatedly connected or inextricably interconnected to something else? g58) What are the major differences between the way nature thinks and the way man thoughts? 001218 ... kx21 dear GOD, g59) Can MAN survive without EARTH? g60) Can EARTH survive without SUN? g61) Is it possible to break the connection(s) or interconnection(s) between the Sun and the EARTH? How? And Why Not? g62) Can MAN think or dream beyond NATURE? 001218 ... The Morning Star Dear kx21, 59 - Of course Man can survive without Earth, but I try to keep them on the ground. You're all a bunch of cocky little bastards. Get a soul and some free will and POOF! Suddenly you're god's gift to himself. 60 - The Sun is just a disco globe found in the far reaches of my basement. I guess any deity's disco globe would work. 61 - Not that I can think of. And believe me, I've tried. 62 - I'll leave this one to God. I can't dream. That whole "lack of a soul" thing, you know? Take it easy and keep on putting, The Big L 001219 ... god that crazy lucifer.... always jokin' around. (how ya doin', lucy?) 59- yes 60- not in the traditional sense 61- yes, it's possible to weaken their connection simply by moving one or the other (or both). 62-everything is natural 001219 ... kx21 dear GOD, g63) Can MAN survive without SUN? g64) Is the connection(s) / Interconnection(s) between GOD and MAN really exists? 001219 ... god 63-yes 64-yes 001219 ... kx21 dear GOD, g65) Can electron, proton, etc., so called the fundamental or elementary particles, be further split into smaller components? How? And Why not? g66) Does Time really exist? 001220 ... kx21 g67) Is it true everything that happens must have a cause? 001220 ... god 65- yes, with really small tools 66- yes 67- everything has a cause 001221 ... kx21 dear GOD, g68) What is the smallest object in the UNIVERSE? g69) How do you derive at the conclusion that Time really exists? g70) Is it possible that an effect may occur a) without any cause(s) g71) Is it possible that an effect may occur prior to its cause(s)? 001222 ... god 68-nothing 69-sure it exists.for something to exist, it has to be made of something. time is a byproduct of human perception. it is made of thoughts. 70-not unless you don't perceive it. 71-it is now. 001222 ... Barrett God, Did you find that book yet? 001231 ... god not yet, barrett ol' pal. i kind of poked around lookin' for a little bit. i don't have a lot of disposable income these days. i got a one year old and all. i spent all my x-mas money on him. (i did get ken burns' "jazz" for $55 in hardcover, however). it'll be near the top of my list when i get my tax returns back. p.s. does the book say what "pow r toc h" is about? 001231 ... kx21 dear GOD, g72) What is the largest object in the UNIVERSE? g73) Is it true that Human Perception is totally unrealiable? g74) Is it true that Past, Present & Future are by-product of Time? 010101 ... god 72- the universe is the largest object in the universe. anything imagined to be outside the universe instantly becomes part of the universe. 73- it is limited. 74- it could be the other way around. (perception comes with existance, and vice versa) 010101 ... god it's the shit, i tell ya. 010101 ... god www.pinkfloyd-co.com 010101 ... kx21 dear GOD, g75) What is the lightest object in the UNIVERSE? g76) What is the darkest object in the UNIVERSE? 010102 ... Quiggz You know, you're all as qualified to answer your questions as the next guy. try it. Think for yourselves. I doubt he's come up with anything you couldn't have come up with yourselves. No offense, "god", but I do try to start a free thinking society. The Revolution Will Be Digitized. 010102 ... kx21 dear GOD, You misread the meaning of the lightest object, which is associated with weight, instead of Light or bright. g75) What is the lightest object in the UNIVERSE? g76) What is the darkest object in the UNIVERSE? g77) What is the brightest object in the UNIVERSE? Not that each of the above (i.e. the lightest object, the darkest object or the brightest object )is a byproduct of human perception.it is made of thoughts. And thus as Time, it exists... 010102 ... kx21 ...if your answer to g69 is True. 010102 ... god dudes, if you wanna take over, you got it. i'll go over in the corner and write a poem called stryper_upon_cactus 010102 ... god did i ever mention that i fuck up lots? take death for example. that's too much for people to deal with... and satan. whew that was a bad idea. (he has mellowed some w/ age, however). 010102 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g75) The lightest object in the UNIVERSE- NOTHING? g76) The darkest object in the UNIVERSE- HELL or SATAN? g77) The brightest object in the UNIVERSE- HEAVEN or GOD? 010103 ... god sounds good to me! 010103 ... twiggie god, why does it have to be like this? -twiggie 010122 ... Thyartshallshant God, Does God love me? I've always wanted to know. Signed, -Thy 010122 ... god twiggie- cuz that's the way it is. thy- sure i do. i love you all like i love myself. 010123 ... Thyartshallshant in love with god Oooo, naughty! 010123 ... Satan at the Palomino Club Hey dad? mind if i pitchfork the hell (pun intended) out of a few random infidels? and if you can find Sinatra floating around one of those bars, let him know that i wan't to play some heavy duty pranks on the set of the new oceans_eleven remake Vegas, baby! Vegas 010123 ... god big "s"! how ya doin' son? long time no hear. satan, you do whatever you like. after that whole presidential election fiasco, you deserve some quality fun. go nuts! love, dad 010124 ... god p.s.- sinatra just raised his glass and said "kooky". you got the green light 010124 ... twiggie god, i really don't care for the answer you gave me. i'm mad at you. oh and, why did it snow today? i asked you not to make it snow. -twiggie 010124 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g78) Who is your Ancestor? g79) Who is your Master? g80) Who is your Successor? 010125 ... kx21 g81) What is the connection between GOD and 'The BIG BANG' of the Universe? 010126 ... aloha from hell hey dad, mind if i field, question g80) as to who is your successor g80) well, it's like this, me and jesus are gonna rochambeaux each other for it (pronounce that ro-sham-bo) the operating principle of rochambeaux is that we stand a short distance apart and face each other whereupon who ever loses the preliminary coin toss must stand still while the other runs up and kicks him in the testicles, then, after a sufficient monment of recovery (provided that player has not lost by falling to the floor from the pain) he then takes his turn and places are switched allowing the person who got kicked to do the kicking this pattern repeats until one player has either submitted or canb no longer bear to stand, whereupon the survivor is declared the winner this is how we will determine god's successor love, Satan wish you were here 010126 ... kx21 Paper, Scissors, stone??? Who is their Ancessor(s)? GOD, SATAN, or U? 010201 ... kx21 g82) Paper, Scissors, stone,... Who is their 1st Ancestor? GOD, SATAN, or U? 010201 ... god no one knows. 010202 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g83) Who is the 1st Ancestor of STRING? g84) Is it true that All STRING evolved from Superstrings? g85) What are your favorite (UK) / favourite (US) Strings? 010203 ... god best as i can figger, cat gut was first. cats evolved from saber toothed tigers uk- snarling dogs us- d'addario 010204 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g86) How do you assess and rank the value (i.e. the worth, importance, or usefulness ) of the following items:- 1) Human Beings(e.g. FOOL, PRIEST, SAGE, etc) 2) Other living Things (e.g. Egg, Chicken, Rabbit, etc.) 3) Non-Living Things from NATURE(e.g. WATER, STONE, SUN, etc.) 4) Artificial Non-living THINGs(e.g. SCISSORS, PAPER, COMPUTER, etc.) g87) In Particular, how do you rank the value of the following items:- p1) FOOL p2) PRIEST p3) SAGE p4) RABBIT p5) EGG p6) CHICHEN p7) WATER p8) STONE p9) SUN P10) SCISSORS P11) PAPER and P12) COMPUTER. g88) Is it true that some of the atoms found at the UNIVERSE (U) are the results, or more precisely product / byproducts of the U's EVOLUTION rather than from GOD's CREATION? 010204 ... god it's all the same 010215 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g89) When are you going to disappear from the scence of the Univere(s)? g90) Is bullshit one of your Mother Nature? g91) Is it true that many people never ever trusted a single word from you? What is your reaction or advice? g92) Is the Fate of Human Beings decided and controlled by GOD? 010215 ... sabbie hi god. how you doing sweetie? dont get to lonely up there in them clouds all by yourself? i really hope that your not sick of all those hymns yet, truly i am, cos other wise it wouldnt be much fun huh. i'll bet thats why you invented christian rock huh... anyway, on to my question. my friend just grew 5 cms and a shoe size. she's 23 and now one of her shoes fit her. scored myself a few nice pairs, so everyone is happy. what i want to know is if it happened to her, can it happen to me? i'd love to be taller, this 5 foot 7 thing isnt working out for me as well as i'd hoped. thing you can wrangle it for me? and any jobs going up there? i'm already a certified angel, got my own wings and dress and everything. course, the wings are black and the dress is a little torn, but its all there still, plus a few safty pins. so, what do you say god? im a hard worker, and i got my own transport attached to my back. i know im the right sab for the job. you know where to reach me. love your work god. kisses, sabbie xoxo 010305 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g93) What is the exact relationship between God and Jesus? 010501 ... Dafremen Ya know, I have been reading through these Q_AS and laughing my ass off the whole time. The wit, charm and just plain balls out hilarity is refreshing. Thanks for the entertainment. I just wanted to point out to "god" that your PARODY of a divine being(which I DON'T necessarily believe in) is probably CLOSER to the reality of God(which I DO believe in) than you or most of the rest of you would care to know, let alone admit. God is all around you, God is everything. The universe is God and God is the universe. The universe created you, God is the creator, therefore once again..the universe is God. Everything is nature. It does go on forever, and THIS is paradise. You make your own Hell, you make your own heaven. God did not directly create suicide, AIDS, depression or suffering. Those are the creations of human stupidity, curiosity and self-indulgance. Like the man said, FREE WILL, you got it, you use it, TAKE responsibility for the CONSEQUENCES of it. Thanks again god, you're doing a great job representing even if its only supposed to be a parody. Q1: Why is the communion NOT mentioned in the Gospel of John? Q2: Why would Jesus insist that people NOT worship him and then turn around and create communion which in effect DIEFIES him? Q3: Are there any really good breweries in other parts of the universe? - - 010501 ... Teenage Jesus Numskull. You got it exactly WRONG. There is no god. No god. This is a good thing. Interesting how people always want to know where the breweries are; yet there's no way anyone wants to sit next to you. What you need is a shady dive with one-arm bookies, and .50 cent draft. 010501 ... Dafremen Hey kiddo, I'm not the one on his way to a crucifixion. I think I'm starting to empathize with the plight of the Jewish that had to put up with yer little Messianic ass. So basically you got all of the venomous, rude, hate-filled urges out of your system during your TEENAGE years...THAT's how you managed to seem so nice and selfless as an adult. It's little wonder that we don't hear much about your teenage years. Oh well, live and let live...keep on spouting to your heart's content Messiah/King of Kings/Lord of Lords/evil pseudo-intellectual cocksucker. P.S. Daffy loves you little guy 010501 ... Teenage Jesus Thank you Daffy. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I knew you were actually OK. Why can't you let yourself be OK more? I take that back, you do deem considerate at times; yet you do spew 2. Am I trying to hold you to a standard that is too high? No. You are that High. The trick is to let everyone in. Try it. Even when you feel compelled to give `em some of your "I can't wait `til they read this" stuff; pause and refine it. There's nothing wrong with that. Be good for goodness sake! Why my brother Dave just the other day said... 010502 ... Dafremen What?! And give up the chance at stirring up charming dialogues like this? Screw that. You'll read as much of what you DON'T want to hear out of me as you will stuff that you DO want to hear. Don't for a SECOND think that that has ANYTHING to do with me. On the contrary, that's all on YOU. Just because I wrote it DOESN'T mean you have to read it, and just because you or anyone doesn't like what I'm saying OR how I'm saying it DOESN'T mean I should or WILL stop. If only you knew how cute I find it when some of you folx try to advise me.(no insult intended) Seriously, although I find most of your thoughts on what I should or shouldn't do pretty fluffy and silly, nonetheless the fact that you OFFERED the advice endears you and those like you to me just a bit more. Keep your head up, keep your heart and your head detached from each other, recognize hormonal maladjustment when it hits you and don't blame the rest of the world for how you feel when it does. That then would be MY advice to most of you angst filled "ohhh whoa is me" types. Unfortunately (or FORTUNATELY it's all entertaining as hell ain't it?) these same angst filled hormonally charged dingleberries prefer confrontation to self-reflection. So be it. I'm down with whatever. : ) Daffy - - 010502 ... Teenage Jesus :) Daffy NOW-My brother, Dave Christ, was talking about how much he hated peas. "Dammit Dave" I said "we all know you hate peas. No one is even suggesting that you eat any!" Is it my business if Dave won't eat peas? Yeah sure he's missing out. I've told him as much. Peas were supposed to be a closed subject, but he keeps bringing it up. It's as if no one can even have peas while he is around...or mention them; or mention a word that sounds like them (like please or knees.) I guess the thing is; Dave is going to be freaking Dave no matter what and I WILL continue to eat peas. It could be worse... 010502 ... Dafremen My point exactly my brother. Love, Dave - - 010502 ... nocturnal hey jesus, I thought jim was your brother. it's possible dave was too and I just don't know it, just thought I'd comment. 010502 ... Teenage Jesus You know my dad. He scattered `em far and wide. I'm sure there's a Jim out there somewhere...probably a couple of them. You know, I have a sister named Dave as well... 010502 ... kx21 Dear GOD, g94) Are you Perfect? g95) Is the Bible your very words? 010503 ... Dafremen Don't hold your breath waiting for an answer. The universe probably doesn't listen well and if it DID I doubt it would stop everything it was doing to answer one of our tiny little asses. 010504 ... nocturnal what the hell are you talking about? I know you can't be implying that the universe does not indeed exist for the sole purpose of blather and everything involved therewith. that's just crazy talk. 010504 ... Satan Satan Satan hey little bro. (i'm talkin to teenage jesus here) dad says to knock off the denial, if not; i can always ressurect Pilate and Iscariot to come play with you and again, clean your room like we've been telling you for the last two thousand years or this time dad really WILL take away the keys to the chariot ok? 010504 ... Teenage Jesus Dear SatanX3, Dave screwed up that room NOT ME! And I am NOT cleaning it up. All Dave does is bitch bitch bitch. Besides, it's all I can do to keep the damn bong clean. (Yep, you guessed it; everytime Dave uses it, he volcanos the bowl.) So I've got to take it all the way to the kitchen, find the tools (which Dave always moves when he's looking for a spoon or a fork or something,) clean it and in the process find out that Dave was of course lying when he said "...dude I just changed the water yesterday." Now, on Dad. How can I put this? OK, so he exists, a little; kind of like a jelly fish. But there are so many others that are more concrete, and as a result far more frightening (not to me of course.) Hastur, Cthulhu, Yacatisma, Yos Sothoth...aw hell, there's a bunch of `em and most of `em are really difficult to spell. Again, don't get me wrong, Yaweh can get sore and releive his tension with some REALLY good pranks. He's great at that. But on a practical level-He just isn't there. remember: THIS IS GOOD. Afterall, you still got me. ; ) 010510 ... god YOU KIDS KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE, THE SIMPSONS ARE ON! 010510 ... Satan Satan Satan kool, i'll get the popcorn, oh, and TJ, tell dave his playstation privileges are revoked and he better have my Asia Carerra dvd's back in their cases before midnight 010510 ... Teenage Jesus Hey SatanX3/god/et al Did you see my brother Dave Christ jankin me. He still says he changed the bong water. He sux at playstation. That's it (as if the freakin Styx music he plays all the time wasn't enough) I'm gonna tell mom this time. Eris will really let him have it! (Or maybe she'll just give it to us...that's a chance I'm willing to take!) 010524 ... god of laziness damn. i haven't answered any questions in a while. i ain't even thought about it. i'll get my ass is gear here in a minute. 010524 ... god eh mebbe not. i said some pretty profane... er i mean profound stuff towards the top if you got a minute to kill. where's tonya? 010801 ... ClairE Where's tonya? are you asking yourself? I thought you were supposed to be answering the questions. nah....! and I would like you to take a gander at aid_versus_aide. Thanks. Also, what kind of cat is tonya? Keep up the good work. How often do you go on vacation, and do you always leave satan in charge? 011129 ... unhinged can i please come and live with you in kentucky with your puppy and your boy and stuff? i really really really need to leave this place. 011130 ... god tonya is a big_electric_cat from arizona i usually leave satan in charge when i leave town, he knows where everything is ( he used to live here). i go on vacation whenever i feel froggy. is this kool-aid related? i like black cherry! yes nic, i got an extra couch with yer name on it, and plenty of home-made beer! 011201 ... god tonya is a big_electric_cat from arizona i usually leave satan in charge when i leave town, he knows where everything is ( he used to live here). i go on vacation whenever i feel froggy. is this kool-aid related? i like black cherry! yes nic, i got an extra couch with yer name on it, and plenty of home-made beer! 011201 ... god sorry, i stuttered in a big way 011201 ... Tjousk This statement is false. 011214 ... god true, but who knows what's gonna happen? 011214 ... kx21 Dear God, g96) Are you ever cheated by someone? How do you feel? What is your reaction? 011215 ... Annie111 Dear god, A while ago, I started liking this friend of mine, who is the biggest clown you'll ever meet. I can't describe why I like him- it's not because he's smart, or a great conversationalist, or particularly good-looking. He just makes my heart radiate in an undescribably way. There is a weird unspoken connection between us... again, I can't describe it really. But one of my good friends is in love with him, and boy, would I be in trouble if anything ever happened. Now there's this other guy, who really likes me. He's cute, funny, and smart. I really do like him, and I think I could learn to love him. And he really likes me. I feel like I should be able to shut_the_door on the clown, and wave goodbye, because he would probably be no good for me, and it would all end in disaster most likely. But I just can't get rid of that inescapable, laughing feeling he gives me inside. I can't ignore it, and I feel like I'll be turning away from my heart if I do. Any advice? 011219 ... Sonya never thought I would do this, but is there any way for people to shed that sense of paranoia that anything anyone says is automatically about them? it would lighten things up, wouldn't it? 011219 ... friend of god Go with your heart. The years will bring hardship but, with laughter your bond has a better chance of survival and will ease many tense moments. With laughter to bridge, you will reconnect that much quicker. If you decide to follow your head, you will forever wonder - what might we have been? ... 011219 ... gods busy - can i help you? Sonya; That paranoia lessens in direct proportion to self-confidence. There is no magic bullet ... 011219 ... god hey. i'll i can say, kids, is fuckin' a alright go for it, whatever it is you love most. your life is made of this love. if you fail, then survive. that's evolution, baby. 011220 ... god fuck. you're gonna die. don't doubt it for a second. in many ways you live on, but you can't escape eventual physical death. protect and love what you hold dear. cause it's gonna be a llllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time. 011220 ... TK Are you intentionally ignoring my question in Ask_God_More? 020518 ... god yes, til now 021015 ... someone you know what was up with all that immaculate conception nonsense? i mean REALLY. 080707 what's it to you? who go blather from