lsd
typhoid dave, maybe now you undertand why i didnt take any acid, seeing as you are now on your way to sacramento for a week, riding in the back of some people's bug.. sure, man, no regrets, but, i want to attend to this school thing till it finishes up ;) 000504
...
lotusflower l.ove
s.pirals
d.ownward
000505
...
amorfus lying down on the sidewalk in berkeley, up near the stadium. "ahm ugly! scuse me while ah lay on mah concrete sidewalk and smoke crack! Noone knows what going on. Hello?" knocking on windows. "Do any of you know what's really going on? admit it, you don't know what's going on!"

maybe I shouldn't be singing this song, ranting and raving and carrying on...

clean clean clean. pure like crystal. my cup runneth over. not my, but thy will O Lord. i wear the lapis philosophorum on my tongue. the hyperdimensional translinguistic fluid flows down like endless rain into a papercup.

where is all this happiness coming from? is it just appearing out of nowhere or what?

micah, did you ever notice there's like a big green sphere in your room occupying several cubic feet of space? I just noticed it...

when's Bicycle Day, anyway? Albert Hoffman is still alive, you know.
000509
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frances lsd is one road to barbelith. 000516
...
gregg oh my gosh,
lysergic acid diethylamide
take a trip to a distant constellation or trip and fall
you know the answer and the answer is spelled
c-o-n-s-p-i-r-a-c-y t-o d-e-s-t-r-o-y
y-o-u
000517
...
daxle convinced that I understood everything
I knew how the world worked and it couldn't be comprehended with the things we call thoughts
but where has it gotten me now, 4 1/2 years later and nothing to show
I looked in the mirror and the way my face shifted scared me
"food tastes like shit and I see rainbows"
the infinite fractalization of the air
it all gets me nowhere
000517
...
moonshine its all gerbils to me 000518
...
gonut The things that are not me are just as part of what is as I am... and music is really special. But then it wears off and I feel like I've been raped about ten thousand times. So it's probably fucking awful poison that everyone should try at least once. 000812
...
pyriel it was in the ice cream

the sick fuck spliced together a loop of scenes from (of all the things to splice together) The Wall, Yellow Submarine, 2001 and Tom & Jerry

two weeks later we got him back and dosed his pizza (while his family was visiting) with some very potent shrooms

gave the phrase "family trip" a whole new meaning
000812
...
kitty the first drug i ever tried. 9th grade, 3rd hr chem class. i didn't think it would work. i kept trying to describe to myself what the state of my mind had become. reality undulated and time expanded and finally at the end i was overwhelmed and calm. wierd. 000812
...
turmoil You know you ve had too much acid when you can feel it eating away at your brain 000813
...
iamascrewballsodontyouevertrytofiguremeout Ahh..the the grandest of all drugs... 000813
...
silentbob As far as he knew me, which granted wasnt very well, he didnt think i had any kind of problem....

as far as problems went...
...his brother couldn't help but drop acid on his first day of college. his parents were in the car with him.
000813
...
*starlette* he's gonna drop tonite. he wanted me there. a pretty face to look at.

but i'd only feel ugly and empty. i don't take the time - to analyze myself. only the world, only you, only him.

once i was the hostest. and i was only scared. i saw his face for a split second. i had to turn away.

so now i run.
000915
...
wexler oooh 001209
...
purple makes family christmas quite a bit more interesting and bearable.

careful of the green slime though, cause no one will know what you mean.
001225
...
Lunakittey i was pondering the pros and cons of the substance

that's how I found you..
010222
...
nocturnal like so many of our favorite things in life, its biggest pro is that it feels good, incredible even; its worst con is that it will fuck you up down the road. 010222
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sabbie i'm afraid i never did it
and i'm afraid i was never cool
but i struggled on through my own nightmares
as you fought your way through yours
and i came out the other side
and i'm much taller for it all
and you, though my heart breaks to admit it
you are still trapped in a circle
your dna spiral
of addiction,
cheap jobs
and one night stands.

8 years on and you're still trying to finish year 12.

im sorry sweetie.
i wish you didnt have to be
where you are.

i wish your lessons werent so hard
to learn.

but i think of you often,
and i have hope for you still.
010225
...
zippy pushing it further
going beyond comfortable
looking down at myself -
feeling so disconnected

i think i got enough

quite an experience (all of them!)
010225
...
MercynRe Why is this glowing white cat following me, and will he stay? 010427
...
mushroomman Explore another realm, see things in a diferent light, nothing is skin deep,
Changes you, your brain and your thoughts, Imagination comes to life, walks up and tells you to follow,
Close your eyes, patterns, swirling, gears ticking away, buy the ticket, take the ride, It was too much fun, i want to trip again, but my body can handle only so much abuse, what will be the result, when someone offers me some
will i take it?
010602
...
nemo its yummy :o) had my first encounter in the 8th grade with some blue gels 010605
...
mer adoor to the eye of the aroundness. 010605
...
ice damn i wish i had some acid 011114
...
Tim The Enchanter Alright all you maggot eating super un retarded faced masticuloids, get up and dance NOW!!!!!! 011228
...
ClairE It's not cocaine so they think they'll be okay.

A sharp yellow edge of worry in a purple night.
011229
...
reitoei not as good as english voodoo 011229
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Aimee a b c d l s d gummi bears are chasing me some are green and some are blue, Oh my god one's biting you! Now I know my lsd next time won't you trip with me? 011229
...
Aaron serriously fucked me up... purple jellies, and rainbows jellies, ten strips of jerry garcia, single hits of timothy leary, lots of white blotter... see schitzophrenia 011229
...
cube I used to drop a hit and then hop on my bike. By the time it started peaking, i'd be out on the country roads with a huge stupid grin on my face.

Everything was so profound. One trip i wrote all these profound thoughts down on paper only to find nothing special when i came down again...
011229
...
Rael one Cloud I used to do a LOT of acid. Almost every day. We'd go to the park, score, & then try ot find our way back on the subway before it took effect.
I learned a lot on acid.
But eventually it just kind of became another crutch.
I'm watching a sunset, and I said "wow, this'd look great if we were tripping!" suddenly I thought, God, why can't I appreciate it WITHOUT acid?
So i don't trip as much these days.
http://ledbeatle.diaryland.com
020201
...
white_light I'm falling more and more into my silent contentment here and now. There's this feint happiness within myself that's bearing a feeling comfort in who i think i am... a sure slow recovery from messy days and abnormal thoughts after scarring my brain tissue with bad lsd.
The fears have faded, my craving for deep provocativity and intense desire for intellectual stimuli have brought me to the point where i want to expand my conciousness as openly as i used to.
I want to feel my subconcious take flight and immerse itself in oceans of supremacy and awe.
I want to wholly indulge in everything in one vivacious acid session..mentally notating the secrets of the world on my stave as she whispers them to me with a smile.
020808
...
josie free from silence 020808
...
cornflake reality or scitzophrenia-pick your disease....i choose bipolar disorder such as chaos theory goes or ungoes or does or not..or knot that is or is not dot com 020901
...
dopey mind expanding it reveals the deepest darkest and inermost wonderfull secrets that the universe holds without so much as even a spoken thought, in a way it has a language of its own which takes time to analys and study and un till u understand how to ask it questions you will never be given the answers which still seam sane even when the acids worne off here is a starting point to get you back on path. the universe when view from afar as 1 whole is infact an atom like wise all the atoms in your body are universes on a smaller scall or rather a more condenced scale

note:the email is my parnts adres
030630
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stevabaga everyone take lsd and see the world broken down into manipulatable particles
jello air you can lift and shift
030722
...
phil Louisiana School for the Deaf 030908
...
misstree love's_secret_domain 030908
...
realistic optimist it is a way to cheat and get a glance at the answer key. it forces you to analyze everything, including yourself. it is not for the superficial, not for those who run from truths. you will reveal truths worth running from.

under the influence of LSD, while baby sitting a grilf who refused to get off the spiral thinking bringing her to hysterics, i decided to test my bounds; to bring myself to my own hell, then bring myself out. I held the two most untenable thoughts i could think to hold, and reveled in them for a while. One thought was a universal truth, expressing how alone we all truly are, and the second was a personal truth which would mean something only to me. I felt it, cried from my deepest self, bringing the grilf out of her selfish thought spiral to inquire if i was OK. I asked her to let me be, and continued to revel. Then, i tired of it, and brought myself back out, level by level, and somehow the grilf never slipped back into her thought spiral of: i've done something. it's bad, and the police are after me. i forget what i've done, but i'm scared. - every time i reminded her she had taken lsd, and didn't have any on her, so the cops could do nothing, she would quickly lose that vital piece of info in order to slip back into the circle logic.
LSD is certainly a multifaceted cheat which exacts its price for truths revealed.
030908
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misstree i've found that a free and playful mind carries the best approach. dodging the brainbombs can be much easier that way. but, with that mindset you can get so distracted by the pretty colors that you forget to sneak a peek at the answer key. unless you're able to see it *in* the pretty colors. depends on how much you place in Play. personally, i believe that any mental state can be rectified by just laughing at it, and meaning it. 030908
...
phil losing the most basic knowledge you have 031010
...
phil you guys know lsd has nothing to do with anything you are talking about.
And that lsd does nothing to enhance experiences. You seem to be having difficulty understanding what the logic behind the creation and usage of lsd. It was created with no meaning, and so far has seen little potentional come from it's insignificant excistence. How can you talk about it as if you had a clue to what it is? How can you describe it using moods?
It's good to feel bad about doing LSD and being scared while you are on it, it is how you should react, if you don't then your reflexes must be gone.
031010
...
realistic optimist i will speak as restrained as i can, but apply your own words to yourself. you have every right to say how you feel and think, but no right to say how another should, and no right to tell someone they arent talking about anything that has to do with lsd, as if lsd was this absolute concrete thing, and you are the sole gatekeeper to knowing what it is about. shame on you, phil. not only are you talking out of your ass, but you are wrong. this is not some random insignificant thing. it has been used in military experiments on soldiers and prisoners of war, it, along with mescaline, are considered spiritual drugs by many, and try to tell timothy leary that there is nothing significant about lsd. and what does its intended inception have to do with its actual manifestation, especially in something as subjective as experience? what is wrong with including moods in a description, especially since in your next sentence, you dictate feelings and moods that people "should" have? why should everyone feel bad about something they have done based on YOUR judgement of its "wrongness?" it is not the first toxin to be intentionally ingested by man to produce similar results, and wont be the last. but perhaps you actually have something to enlighten us with? some sage shred? oh i can feel the restraint leaving me so i will stop now, but just know that i must emphatically cockslap you on this one phil. 031010
...
phil I just think it's a bunch of bullshit. And I didn't feel like lying to anyone so I said what I know. 031011
...
realistic optimist phil, if you had merely said what you knew, i would have been fine with whatever you said, whether i agreed or not.

No.

you said what others should think or feel or do or not do, as if this was absolute knowledge you possessed, and that this absolute knowledge made what others experienced "a bunch of crap," or meaningless. you stated concretely that it does not enhance experiences. and you say all of this as if you had some scientific journal backing up what you've said and those who you denounced had only field experiments. this leads me to believe that you are speaking with some knowledge or fact in mind, but which you have not shared. perhaps this is an interesting fact, or the sage shred i asked about? if you have words, please share them, however i only ask that you not be so limiting on others' words and so denouncing of others' experiences.
031027
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Brandon excellent. 040220
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white wave i've never tried it. but i think it would be so f*cking cool that it scares the shit out of me. why do we fear some of the things that we want the most? 040221
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white wave i've never tried it. but i think it would be so f*cking cool that it scares the shit out of me. why do we fear some of the things that we want the most? 040221
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white wave sorry for the duplicate post. i swear i didn't mean to.

but while I'm hear, I might mention that I really don't need LSD. My mind sometimes feels like one big hallucination, and i don't need to feel like any more of a weird freakoid.
040221
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zeke everything happens everywhere at once 040221
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holly one thing leads to another 040304
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eklektic made my mind explode. it was wonderful 050113
...
misstree nice cockslap, r_o. shame it was over so quick.

it seems that lsd dried up sometime around the turn of the century. i heard something about a massive massive bust of one of the major manufacturers, but it's still able to be made, so it must be a combination of factors; i'm assuming that the fact that the gov can slap manslaughter charges along with it and considers dosage as weight by pure, but then weighs also medium; frinstance, say you have an altoid with two drops on it, and the drops weigh a half stone a piece and the altoid weighs four stones; you would be charged with five stones worth of lsd, or ten drops, or ten manslaughter charges. makes it a bit unappealing to manufacture or distribute.

quite a shame, too, because while it is an entertaining recreational drug, leary really was a brilliant man (who did indeed go a bit off his rocker near the end on philosophy [playing with reality gets a bit hairy for anyone, take a look at how many artists and philosophers went bonkers] and being utterly denied the power of his quite impressive psychology credentials because he was doing very successful behavioral studies with a drug that the gov had first created then demonized and declared a quack, well, i would go a bit weird too) he advocated it mainly as a deep therapeutical drug, to be used with care by competent people with deeper purposes rather than as a recreational jaunt into the inner recesses.

yes, that was all one sentence. and i'm dead sober. yay me. :P
050114
...
phil It does not depend on perspective. 050114
...
misstree way to make a point, phil.

what part of "it" does not depend on perspective, and why?
050114
...
phil my opinion 050115
...
phil takes away your ability
limits your experience
people who endorse lsd
are assholes
050115
...
minnesota_chris causes people to misuse parentheses. Like, look inside the sentence, whoah! 050115
...
phil Seeing LSD as an answer key to what?

It unleashes the chemicals the mind uses for thought process during a peak experience.
Other people may feel they need drugs to correct their inadequecies. However, the natural construct holds up better over time.

professional testing stopped years ago. So there is no answer key.

A researcher's evaluation points to LSD's shortcomings as a learning tool.

The whole experience of LSD is fun and exhausting.
I really don't think people should be using illegal substances.
and
the whole experience is pretty washed up. I don't see a relevant reason for doing it. No new experiences can be gained from it.
050115
...
phil it may just be that it benefits some people and not others, based on some unknown factor. 050115
...
phil I still understand it's allure.
http://www.allhailbutch.net/killhippie.html
050115
...
phil but would not succumb to their consequences without screaming. rape!
I go more for for lesser playground antics, such as getting thrown off the equipment and shown the L (for loser) on the forehead, from which one might in desperation reading countless books or writing an excessive amount of worthless articles in the web.
050115
...
phil A couple died, frozen to death out in the cold. They must of been tripping from the story of how stupid they were being. 050115
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mr. me YESSS! 050125
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moreLSD4me docta phil, u just dont get it. and i pity the foo. 050125
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phil You meant to say "don't got it." get it? 050130
...
spacepatrol 2 tab LSD
2 tab XTC
Make you grow
a pussy
050517
...
Piso Mojado we turned to face each other after brief hellos and introductions. And I gazed straight past his eyes and into his soul

blue light quivering with the intensity of our gaze, mirroring what I knew must be reflected on my own face
050527
...
Piso Mojado synesthesia
time_dilation
you_trippy_this_trippy
and_i_will_never_be_the_same
a_window
you're_so_fucking_beautiful
on_fire
inspiration_for_the_now
hold_on_my_soul
my_thoughts_flow_like_water
i_feel_everything_and_thank_god
the_music_in_everything
we_are_the_dreamers
the_constant_motion_of_time
beauty_in_repetition
i'm_a_revolution
i_feel_like_crap_but_i'm_happy
insights_into_the_obvious
pour_me_out
soft_kisses_fall
i_should_sleep
watching_the_music
a_perfect_moment
050527
...
Piso Mojado acts_of_spiritual_detoxification 050708
...
green tea Oh that is sooooo weird! I just called Lemon Soda this today...


Lemon Soda Dehydrated
050708
...
Twitch I've read about it...

and it scares me...

I don't know if it expands your mind...


or breaks you down to the point where you think that you're expanding it.
051206
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mailer daemon had me geeking at a mcdonalds sign 070611
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mailer daemon lucy in the sky with diamonds 070611
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hsg whatshe doing there? 070611
...
phil The mind's nature is affected by LSD but are in no way created by it.

LSD is in fact having less effect than what a normal thought patterns cam produce. But it works differently.

LSD is like an anaesthesia, which works in other areas somewhat outside of where it produces it's main effect.

And this can cause permanent damage to any of these areas.

LSD freezes the mental process which creates thought organization. Which is also necessary for storing recognizable memories.

It causes information to be transfered out of order, or be lost in a reciprocating pattern of confusion.

However it does not prevent other mental processes. Such as conscience efforts to organize the thoughts or deal with the situation creatively using other mental functions.

A person can follow your logic and given a moderate supply of information one can create an illusion that these thoughts are more than simple randomness.
071118
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Lotus Eater Nothing is random, Phil. 071118
...
somebody Say what you will of it, Phil, I have used it to effect lasting, positive changes on myself. I have always approached it as a tool and used it with care, and it can be remarkably effective. I have not used it (nor even seen it) for many years, but every gain I made with it has endured.

For instance, I used to have a fear of spiders, and confronting that fear sober never alleviated it, nor on various other chemicals. However, when I confronted spiders on LSD, I had an epiphany and they have never bothered me since. In fact, I now even permit the existence of a few daddy-long-legs in my bedroom (mosquito control!!!).

This is only one of several examples. A major "personal demon" was banished with a single dose of this ten years ago; traditional therapy had made no headway on the matter. Next, it has obvious applications for any artist who is adequately mentally prepared. Fears can be conquered and anxieties redressed in a hyperattenuated fashion. I could go on and on.

Granted, you've gotta know what your doing. By this, I do not mean theory. Theory is useless once the drugs kick in. What I mean is that you've gotta know yourself: how you work, what you like, what scares you, and mainly, what you want to accomplish with your trip. A pre-emptory meditation goes a long way.

Having used it carefully, and many times, I can speak with certainty that after a few uses (or even on the first use) one learns to retain control of one's thinking. I don't think Phil used it enough to learn this. Sure, there are wild horses racing in one's mind, but the enlightened user (of any chemical) learns to reign them in appropriately. This goes for drinking and also for anti-depressents or even sleep-aids like Ambien. As mentioned, the enlightened user of any chemical quickly finds that the theoretic function of many drugs (though not all) is rendered somewhat irrelevant by the highly varied experiential value and oft-unpredictable personal responses (thus the trouble with most drugs...). It's good to know the theory beforehand, but experience is "twice as real".

Phil's rant leaves the impression that he had a bad trip, and I'm sorry for that, but his attitude towards it is no more objective than anyone else's. The fact that he cannot handle LSD doesn't mean it is useless. His stance is myopic and he sidestepped the counterarguments others have listed here, which tells me all I need to know.

Indeed, Phil's approach is almost perfectly analogous to a homophobe who, having studied "in holes" and "out holes", concludes that homosexuality is inherently flawed and couldn't possibly have any value to anyone else, "and he even tried it himself which proves it is bad". Theory and human experience are not always readily reconciled.

Any drug is a tool, and can be put to good uses, or to bad uses. That the power of some of these "tools" is more obviously harnessed in some than in others is nothing new. It is a pity that some are too biased against them to see that. It is also a pity that so many lack sufficient self-control to intelligently use; this, after all, is why most drugs are illegal.

I will admit that as a "tool" LSD is perhaps less accessible to most people than, say, mushrooms or marijuana or paxil or ambien. Again, socialization and self-control is the issue here, not the chemical itself. There are many who have extolled the wonders of LSD and Phil feels he is privy to information that negates the experiential opinion of millions. The human propensity for this error never ceases to amaze me, but I guess we all do it.

Phil, if you don't like it, don't use it. Please refrain from juvenille theory-based diatribes against something you experientially fail to understand. I know, I know, you think you understand it, but you don't. Re-read this page, go to Erowid or Lycaeum, seek more sources.

AS A FINAL NOTE
To anyone new to the stuff, it's powerful, and I strongly urge caution. You've got to know your subconcious really, really well. If you cannot handle certain types of thought patterns had while sober, you won't be able to handle them while tripping, unless you set out to deliberately address them. Surprises abound. On the positive side, intelligent use can produce a treasury of novel thoughts and spiritual insights. Some feel these insights are fleeting; others find them to be of enduring value. Everyone's different; know thyself!
071118
...
phil I completely agree with your spider experience. Please expand on these positive experiences.

People share much the same experience from using LSD.

LSD is a substance that you ingest just by touching it. Like mercury.

I couldn't smile, would be unable to speak, and I couldn't see through what I KNEW where simply illusions. And I foresaw a very negative path before me. That is just my life.

I am realistic.I don't like hearing negative references to gays. Also, let me point out that your idea of LSD as a tool comes from the earliest thoughts on LSD, that anything can be used as a tool and does not give it any inherent value.
071118
...
phil http://www.fas.org/irp/agency/doj/dea/product/lsd/toc.htm
this gets interesting.
071118
...
phil correction: And this can cause permanent damage to any of these areas.

permanent, I would feel more comfortable saying "semipermanent" OR "long lasting".

Randomness:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 = 2 0 1 6 3 4 7 8 5 9
071118
...
phil They aren't random exactly. I mean, they are your thoughts, your experiences.
That's what I am saying.

Calling LSD an answer key is extremely superficial.
071120
...
Lotus Eater Perhaps, but it is equally superficial for you to claim that "the whole experience is pretty washed up". Speak for yourself, bucko.

It is downright false to claim that "no new experiences can be gained from it," because it is in and of itself a new experience that is unlike anything else. And many of us who have used it know, for a FACT, that new experiences can be gained from it.

You "don't see a relevant reason for doing it"? Great. Don't do it then. I don't see much relevant reason for fatuous tirades against an already illegal substance, but hey, free speech wins.

These statements of yours are merely your perspective. "It does not depend of perspective." What planet is Phil from? Nearly everything depends upon perspective, and matters such as drug use are about the most perspective-dependent considerations in the human schema.

"I really don't think people should be using illegal substances." Well, I don't think people should go on self-righteous crusades to restrict what other people do with their bodies.
071121
...
its raining i need a hit damn it, fuck it i want to get high like Case did in Neuromancer! 071121
...
REAListic optimIST I tripped again recently, and during the experience, I found the sweetest love, and my heart came undone. I also gained insight into my current condition of fears and aspirations, and took some key steps forward mentally that allowed me to do so in my life. Originally, I had said that I only intended to drop acid on Halloween if I found Molly so that I could candyflip, but relented at the last moment to trip with my new lover.

Now that I have found Molly, however, I may take take acid again. I am at such a crux in my life that I am willing to pay the price for a bit of extra insight, for a temporary paradigm shift, for a glance at the answer key. Of course I know that there is no guarantee that the answer key is to the tests I will face, but I am willing to take that chance. Through my own meditation, writing, sharing, and research, I have certainly gained insight. The importance of my next few steps compels me to seek the advice of Lucy, however. And, my emotional blockage due to recent traumatic events in my life compels me to seek the power of MDMA to brush that aside for the experience. Wish me a safe and insightful journey, Phil.
071121
...
phil I was out last night flying around town in my hot air balloon. I met Molly up there and we made love underneath the stars in my balloon basket. I told her my experience of eating popcorn in the movie theater.

Lucy, my cat, decided it would be best to be wearing a sweater and needed a little bit of milk, so we stopped by home and got everything. I beat the shit out of Molly and cut her head off and ate most of her brains and eventually crammed the rest in the fridge.

Lucy suddenly in my doorway with a snake in her mouth appeared to offer it to me. I didn't know what would be appropriate. But I understand that Lucy probably knows best. I pondered my idea and stood like a duck for 18 seconds, trying to get a clue.

I brought her an eyeball and packed the snake into my pocket, then she was indeed ready to go. We floated all night.

When morning came it began snowing and the balloon became heavier and we began drifting down, into a dense forest I had never seen before.

We crashed into the tops of the trees and skidded along like that, the basket getting banged up something awful, until finally settled into a heavy oak.
The tree was dry and a danger if I tried to burn any more fuel, so we left the basket and headed into the branches....
071122
...
phil Lucy and I wandered there in the branches not far from our hot air balloon basket with our glass of milk and our snake. Lucy and I both sat in our sweaters, getting bit by spiders and eventually Lucy, scratching and biting, fell out of the tree and broke her spine, spun to the ground and died.

I managed to make it down to where Lucy had collapsed to. Branches were laying around her, one poking through her, just then something leaped up to my hand. A bright glow, I just couldn't believe my eyes. I saw her eyes faintly for a brief moment in my palm, which I covered my face with.

Listening, I heard the flowing sounds of a stream and followed that sound back to civilization. Where I was bit, my skin was swollen. I picked the plant seeds and branches off my clothes and pulled my hair into form. Weeding out any insects caught in it.

She was such a good cat.
071210
...
piper phil, your impression of LSD is definately wayyyy differnt than mine!!! 071210
...
hsg terence_mckenna 071210
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Ouroboros I had taken it because I was feeling uncomfortable at being at the gathering and being with D (retrospective), and as a result had a rather unsettling, unilluminating, and generally unpleasant trip (minus the few minutes I managed to get away from the dark thumping music and strangers and lay on a rock under the full moon and was blessed by the rays coming down illuminating my body and the rock and the desert). Finally the sun came up and I felt such relief at being able to see my companions and see my surroundings and promised that I would not take hallucinogens at night again. In a better space and slowly coming down, I danced on the dance floor, until I noticed the man next to me. He was dancing like a lanky bird and the energy around his eyes and flowing through his body was so light. I told him so and he said "you can see that?" and we danced for hours. And we're still together and getting closer and full of love over a year after this meeting. I do not doubt that we would not have met and connected if i had not taken LSD and had not had a negative trip that left me so grateful for the day-light and sobriety that I was open to our interaction.

He is the most positive outcome from LSD in my life. The negatives are there- i have herpes now because i had (mind-blowing astral) sex with a stranger while tripping. I met J who turned out to be crazy and made K feel unsafe. I had that horrible night with N. But these are all a reflection of the state of my emotions, intentions, social interactions and choices. A mirror. The tower with the bodies falling and jumping from the flames. Truth magnified. The shadow brought to the surface. No more lies.

When I trip I see the entwining colors (green red ?) that are the fabric of all that I see (versus mushrooms where I see a background aztec circle with intricacies under everything i see). My bowels get clean as a whistle. Food is gross.

Not positive or negative. I am who I am today because of lsd. I would easily never take it again, and I would easily prep and set intentions and stay out of my head and masks and take it again.
080102
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REAListic optimIST and on into the new year, lsd and ecstasy danced a curly cue dance in my perception. i forewent the aforementioned candyflip for this one, and it was oh so sweet.

I danced and danced and movement flowed from my limbs like kisses from the lips of my sweet love who shared the journey with me.

I was so in tune with my self and my surroundings; anxieties cast aside replaced by a focused energetic exchange with the universe.

the lsd kept me up through the next day and left my body a bit crunchy. this time it wasn't so much about peeking at the answer key as it was analyzing the growing love i have for my darling. It is such a beautiful and surprising thing that i find myself incredulous at times.

i was able to see the three faces of my love staring back at me and smiling at me. i could sense and see our spirits intertwining as we danced. and again, i wept with gratitude and joy for the love that we share.
080103
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Ouroboros I had graduate from college and it was summer in Olympia, so pretty and warm. Dan invited me to his house on the lake. He drank, I took half a hit. We swam across to the other side of the lake- walked along the shore, into the brush, among the flowers and plants and spiderwebs shimmering. I felt such joy and bliss, my body felt both incredibly weak and strong. We swam back and lay on the dock until the sun went down. His housemate read me Rilke in German. It was pure goodness. 080125
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Ouroboros Two nights on the playa this year. First one I was all by my self- wandered out passed the temple. Explored the art, the stars, my mind. Wandered and processed. One camp was playing bob marley remixes and it soothed my soul to hear his voice and his positive message. Brought in the sunrise tycho drumming and then met beautiful people and danced at the philly experiment. It was an intense night. Second was burn night- ran into my friends who were coming up on molly so i took my tab and accompanied them on their journeys. We danced, found a photo booth, held space while they processed their relationship, sat on comfy couches and huddled around the fires at the philly experiment ( i love that place.)

Space to be and space to laugh and space to explore.
080915
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wawa artist 081008
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Caroline 452 ...is like hot sauce
you only need a few drops to get you off.
090305
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n o m yessssss 090923
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n o m m_u_s_i_c 101020
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IGG ALSO pounds, shillings and pence. 101021
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jio jio 101125
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