hope daxle The possibility of things getting better is all that keeps me going 990723 ... typhoid i hope this bloody thing compiles right (glibc 1.21 i think), cuz i've been working on it like all day and it ate all of my hard drive space and if it dies, the whole computer is fucked. and the computer's locked away in a room i can't get to... other than that... things i'm hopin for: the computer to come back up (it's rebootin right now) a ride to take me and a friend out into the middle of nowhere for a few days over newyears. my friends far away to write/call me more often... i miss you... i hope i am eternally amused. 991227 ... andrea lately, i've longed to hide away withdraw to my tiny little world undisturbed by even the gentlest whisper i've come to the conclusion i wouldn't know love if it came up and bit me soundly on the ass hit me over the head with the metal ruler i've used to measure myself, to measure their weaknesses and how much they've fallen short of making me feel safe hope lingers on my doorstep like the smell of a lover gone the strongest incense cannot make it flee-to float on a breeze out the door my sweat soaked sheets only remind me how much i have lost in giving myself so casually and worthlessly to the men who've crossed my threshold not with me in their arms, no but carrying bundles of mysteries and secrets i've not chanced or cared enough to decode or to unravel a shower can't wash away their touch anymore than a kiss can heal a heart broken by the cruelest intentions i doubt there will ever be someone who will know me inside out or care enough to make me laugh when the clouds linger too long in my eyes a sharp knock hits my door a look through the peephole sends me the sight of someone who has been around for a while hope lingers on my doorstep copyright 1999 991231 ... nullspace is the cliff from which i fall is the depths to which i plunge is the worst of all to escape pandora's box for it coaxes you into letting down your guard and then moves in for the kill false expectations those with experience should know better than to place any confidence in such things 000108 ... mad madame mim small shivering bird the last in pandora's box 000108 ... amy my hope for new enterers: quickly hooked learn that, or a curse. 000117 ... old hick Faith, hope and love. Faith in God is distrust of the world, supposedly His creation. Hope is a hang up on the future. And the future doesn't even exist. Yep, I suppose the greatest of these IS love. 000217 ... rose He positioned me on this thin fiber 000223 ... jeffrey sing tra la la la laaaaa la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and when you see and when you run and when you can hide the take this ride for just the fun to where ever it goes or knows to slow at to arrive at to blather at didnt have to do that with your gun with your hand in my pocket I was hoping you would though when you run I would watch and when you passed while I sat pretending to read I hoped you should have slowed 000719 ... Lucien Once it was gone I knoew there was no hope left for us...and i cried. and i bled. and my heart died. 010105 ... misstree hope is the love i will gleefully bleed for, just to keep it around. 010106 ... maxwell thorne Remember when I was a child? Remember how they said I was smart? Remember what I was capable of doing? Remember why I gave up? Remember who lost my hope? Does anyone remember where I put it? 010131 ... god Remember a Day Remember a day before today A day when you were young Free to play along with time Evening never comes Sing a song that can't be sung Without the morning's kiss Queen, you shall be it if you wish Look for your king Why can't we play today Why can't we stay that way Climb your favourite apple tree Try to catch the sun Hide from your little brother's gun Dream yourself away Why can't we reach the sun Why can't we blow the years away Blow away Blow away Remember Remember -rw 010131 ... evolutionending well...where are you coming from? ...well...i don't like the way the country's ran, don't you know, and, erm...that's pretty much what i was expressing in my poem. the government...the american government - they're sneaky, they're very deceitful, they're liers, they're cheats, they're rip-offs. i mean, the american government is one systematic government that...that nobody can trust. i don't trust them myself. and how long have you been writing for? huh? how long have you been writing for? since i was four. d'you do this sort of thing a lot, like, open-mic kinda questions? oh i love open-mics, i love coming here to do open-mics, absolutely. what kind of reactions d'you usually get? usually, people are...are pretty much in agreement with what i'm saying. we overheard you before talking about...you went to court today for a speeding ticket...? that's accurate. right. d'you wanna tell us that story? yes, absolutely, i wouldn't mind telling you the story. erm...i went to court today for a speeding ticket, and i told the judge, erm..."let me tell you something, and you listen and you listen good, i'm only gonna say this one time and one time only, i don't repeat myself for nobody," i said. i says..."i'm here to pay a speeding ticket, not to listen to your lectures and hear you run your mouth for an hour." i says "i'm here to pay off my speeding ticket...and i'm here to get my fines out of the way and get the fuck to work." the judge says "you can't talk like that in my courtroom, you're in contempt of court." then i said...i told the judge, "if that's the best you can do, i feel sorry for you." i said "why don't you just shut your fucking mouth for once and listen." i said "i'm not gonna take any shit." i said "i'm gonna pay my speeding ticket like i said." i walked up to the god damn judge and i hand him my 25 dollars and i says "here's my money, now i am leaving." and i left it at that... ...then, before i left, i turned around and told the judge "i'm here to state who i am and be honest with you." i said "if they thought i was dangerous on the road like you're trying to accuse me of, wouldn't they have taken my license when i first got it? yes they would. and the judge says "yeah, you have a point," he goes "you don't need to get loud," i said "don't get loud?" i says "i've got every right to get loud." i says "you can't do a god damn thing about it, because i'm expressing myself in your court, and there is nothing you can do about it. you think you're god because you have a robe and you can put people up the god damn river for 20 years? well you're not." and i left it at that... did you walk away? yes i did...i don't like the judicial system, i don't like the government system, i don't like the police, i don't like anything to do with this country's government. i just don't like it, because...they're sneaky, like i said - they're deceitful, they're lying, they're cheats, the rip people off. that's the american government for you. america is a third world country, and people don't recognise it...and i think that that's pretty god damn sad, that they don't recognise their own country as a third world, third rate, third class slum. well...d'you have any weapons? yes, i do. i own a high-powered assault rifle, i own a 12-gauge double barrel shotgun, i own a regular shotgun, i own a regular hunting rifle, i own a 9 milimetre, a 357, a 45 handgun, a 38 special, and, erm...i own an m-16 fully automatic ground assault rifle... d'you think things are gonna get better before they get worse? no way. things are just gonna get worse and keep on getting worse. like i said, america's a third world country as it is and...and we're just basically in a hopeless situation as it stands. what d'you think this country's gonna look like in the year 2003? y'know, i'll tell you the truth - nothing against you guys, but i don't wanna answer that question because...i haven't even got a mind that's that...that inhumane. are you ready for what's coming? ready as i'll ever be. most people aren't. there's a little saying...dates back for generations... go on... be prepared for anything at any time from anybody, don't take no shit, always stand your ground. people wanna come up to me and run their mouth - guess what? i'll throw them through the fucking window...i won't think a thing of it. would you mind reciting your poem for us? not at all, i don't see why...i don't see why i couldn't. there's an evil virus that's threatening mankind it's not state of the art, it's a serious state of the mind the muggers, the backstabbers, the two faced elite a menace to society, a social disease to brainwash the mind is a social disorder the cynics, the apathy one-upmanship order watching beginnings of social decay gloating and sneering at life's disarray eating away at your own self esteem pouncing on every word that you might be saying to attack someones mind is a social disorder the constitution, the government, martial law order superficially smiling a shake of the hand as soon as your back is turned treason is planned when every good thing's laid to rest by the governments hate, by the constitution and their lies and every time you think you're safe and when you go to turn away you know they're sharpening all their knives all in your mind all in your head try to relate it all in your mind all in your head try to escape it without a conscience they destroy and that's a thing that they enjoy they're a sickness that's in all of our minds they want to sink the ship and leave the way they laugh at you and me you know it happens all the time but it only happens in your mind the rats in the cellar you know who you are... or do you? watching beginnings of social decay... thank you for your time 010201 ... mikey hope. a fool has hope. hope is for people who know it will never be...yet they cling onto "hope" so at least they have something. humans are sheep. we are tangible. faith is one thing. but hope to me is negative. i hope this happens....i hope i get this...hope is a fools fancy. 010306 ... unhinged i can not escape from it maybe because it has become a namesake in a family of devout or somewhat devout compared to other means of being religious catholics that i can not call myself part of god never said anything about hope he was more of a certainity there is nothing certain and everything fleeting in hope even in the face of great and unlikely odds human beings have the capacity for hope i think it is the devil in us 010306 ... mikey i agree with you unhinged 010306 ... imitator the flame that burns dark despair's door 010420 ... Casey While sitting in this chair I feel like I'm in an iron lung. That somethimes hope is all I have left that keeps me from leaving. 010421 ... like rain. when everything else falls apart, it doesn't matter. when it seems that the world is crumbling beneath my feet, i grapple for you, try to clutch your lapels so that i don't fall, unsure of whether it will make you crumble of not. when things feel that way, i reach for you, knowing that i might lose you. and when morning comes, and i can push it all inside again, i write empty pragmatic e-mails, taking it back, hiding the pain, hoping that it will cement the world together again. failing love's test... 010429 ... Shugarhi Hope is only a disguise used to kill your apparitions. 010517 ... enriquecito but if it can kill them and, in their absence, you get get the bridge built, then isn't it a good think after all? 010521 ... unhinged today was the day that the hope died and the cold dark reality of watching my friends' dream die is staring me in the face. all this rests in the hands of some money-grubbing industry whore. the happiness of four people rests in the gears of the machine. see what hope gets you? damn... 010521 ... enriquecito "dum spiro, spero." while i breathe,