why_do_you_swanki_doo blah-ze several reasons. namely because i have nothing better to do. swanki doodling saved me from the ingrates that populate this world. *swanki doodles* 030826 ... blah-ze going through my stuff, i just don't know why i wrote this crap. this is a private joke, requiring several pages to explain, and by that time it wouldn't be funny. but i'm still laughing. 030925 ... sans nom i liked it (but i'm weird so...) it makes me want to answer 'because i doo' when i read the title, but then i'm reminded by myself that i have no idear what swanki doo means, so i'm not sure i doo. 030926 ... blah-ze i really wouldn't know, but im 90% sure you do. that is, if you're anything like me and find the name funny, you probably do. or doo. 030927 ... pipedream i saw this string and grinned to myself but didn't click since i was in a rush...but i doo, i doo dooby dooby doo (even though i haven't the faintest clue as to what exactly im doo-ing, but it sure sounds fun) *laughs* 030928 ... blah-ze you doo not. definitely not. no way in hell you could ever, and i don't even need to know you to say this. and that is not an insult. or a compliment. just a fact of this life we live in. 030929 ... pipedream pulling a face humph. i doo too! (at least i WANT to!) 030929 ... blah-ze that's debatable. only four people i know actually want to. don't think that this is incredibly insightful. it's not. i don't (not any more, anyway), so you're not alone, if that's consolation. 030930 ... pipedream o-kay-y-y-y *scrunches her nose up* 030930 ... nom so how doo you know if you doo 030930 ... blah-ze it's a secret, but you don't really know if you doo. i didn't know i did, until someone pointed it out to me. at that time, it worried me, but i grew to accept it. then i outgrew it. the way to find out if you doo is to lock yourself in a room in complete darkness with no sound and noone else around, for a few hours. 031001 ... pipedream really wanting to know how to doo now everyone's done that sooner or later... 031001 ... blah-ze when you have done this, i will ask questions, and based on your answers will tell you if you did or not. i am the swanki oracle. 031006 ... pipedream hehehehahaha oh great swanki oracle, tell me this: what is the meaning of beef stroganoff for lunch at the cafeteria? 031006 ... blah-ze it portents the Great Conglomerate of Time that has come to pass. the cards have been cast, the spiritual tea imbibed, the hallucinations laughed at. And the message from The One Swanki Spirit is... pipedream, there will come a time, when you will make a decision, which will be important, and stuff will happen. (vague enough, i think) when you make this decision, think wisely of your future... think about The Stroganoff of Swanki. just a a related bit of trivia, the last time i ate stroganoff, there was tomatoes in it. i am allergic to tomatoes and i vomited. anyways... i swanki doo-ed today. it made me laugh. 031007 ... pipedream i puked yesterday, but that was because midnight snacks of movie-theater butter popcorn didn't seem to agree with me too much :S i think i will try to swanki-doo today (my own muddled version of it i s'pose) and see whether the Stroganoff Swanki-Swami will arrive in myself...what is the chance of becoming the Swanki Sidekick, oh great Swanki Oracle? 031007 ... blah-ze swanki doo away, sidekick. i have swanki doo-ed three times. it is hard to kick the habit now i've started, and all the *study* i am forcing myself to do isn't helping. no Portents From Above today though, i think i poked myself in my third eye. the great Oracle is now having a vision... yup, he sneezed, as predicted. damn, i can't change the future. 031009 ... pipedream te swanki sidekick hee hee swankies don't STUDY (they forget what the $@%$^ select case blocks were in their CS midterms, though *grumble grumble*)..they doo fine *pun very much intended* yay! im a swanki sidekick! *does the doo in glee* 031011 ... blah-ze swankis do study, and not all just last-minute-desperate-study-with-caffeine-injected-straight-into-my-arteries kind of study. this particular swanki has many, many exams over the next few weeks, and if he fucks them up will be lucky to survive the ire of his parents. lucky the exams are only the most important i'll ever do in my life, eh? get that feeling though, in my trial HSC i forgot the formulas (formulae?) for the trapizodal and simpson's rules and a few other things, and failed. i hate calculus. anyway, i havent swanki-ed at all since i was last writing, but there's noone else around so i can't. annoying. few days ago someone else who is in on the swanki doo came round and we swanki'ed each other half to death. gotta sit alone in a dark room a bit more. did it this morning. chocolate covered coffee beans for a midnight snack is not recommended, at least not two packets. swwweeeeeet coffee candy. had a vision this morning. could have been the caffeine constricting the blood vessels in my brain, but it was there. i did see a great, four-tusked elephant , and it was trumpeting 'waltzing matilda'. around it danced the hordes of people, dressed the colour of the rainbow. tell me, oh swanki sidekick, does this portent great things, or did i just overload again? 031011 ... pipedream HEYYYYY! i blathered back yesterday, and it hasn't showed up! PHOOEY! i said, in that missing blathe, that rainbow colours always signify things of great portent (err). so either ye shall be eating skittles today (taste the rainbow, not the caffiene, lol) or shall be seeing something truly wond'rous- but you'll have to keep all your eyes- all three- wide, wide open to see it. so speaketh the swanki sidekick, at eight forty a.m. 031012 ... blah-ze you have done well, my little swanki. we shall make a portent-seer-person out of ya yet. skittles eh... well i shall have to get me some o' them. (could make a fortune too, selling out to major companies... i see a great day for coke to be imbibed gratuitously... mwa-ha-ha). at the moment, having polished off another can of coffee, it is all i can do to blink. rest assured my eyes will be wide open for a very long time. and if something happens, i will react at super-quick speed (hwa-ya... i am the caffi-laddie-swanki-ninja). must stop babbling... there is an ice-cold coke that requires two minutes of my undivided attention. just to replenish the blood loss, you understand. 031013 ... pipedream hahahha swanki ninja, maybe we can sign s'more people up to the exclusive swanki club- skittles galore, membership fee. what say ye? although i'd rather like an alternating thing between skittles and mnms because you never know when you need a chocolate fix :) 031013 ... blah-ze mmm... going crazy here. need a chocolate fix. had an iced coffee (a real one with a scoop of ice cream and cream and the smoothest coffee you ever had) and that was kinda like chocolate, in my way of thinking. we could endorse starburst as well... ride the rainbow. haven't slept for 35 hours now. world getting faint. anyway, one minor thing. i was wondering exactly what the swanki doo means to you. it occured to me that an uninitiated soul like you may butcher the swanki beyond comprehension (not that i mind) and i just had a curiosity. my second mind is holidaying at the moment... wondering if you had any visions or portents for me to solve (and don't tell me to keep my day job... the swanki ninja costure took me all of last night to make) because i'm bored and the books are making my eyes water and 'clueless' for the 34th (i counted) time is so repedative i can repeat it word for word. asleep. get... it... outa... my.... brain... 031014 ... pipedream the swwanki doo is something like humming a song you really like under your breath and just suddenly your feet bust a move right there in the middle of the hall because they felt happy. something like that. and i don't have any portents at the moment, my mind is going through a blank-ish phase..but i COULD give you this: a seed is a tree just as much as a bigass tree is a seed. 031014 ... blah-ze that was so close to the mark it took my breath away... funny how that turned out. i am now looking at my arm, which is bruised from where i gave blood. internal haemorraging. lovely. 031014 ... pipedream arm blood is a lovely dark red. so is foot blood, thats black-maroon...i punched a hole in my palm day before yesterday by accident (i was sitting in the grass and leaned forward and hit a twig) and the tiny little drop of blood that came was this bright, artificial looking red. im intrigued by blood in what i think is a non-pervert/hannibal lecter way; it just fascinates me to think that all this is actively running through my veins, never leaks unless you make it, keeps me alive, is always there. seeing blood makes me feel real. what blood type are you? some people are cool things like B- or O+, its kinda cool because im just a boring A+. 031014 ... pipedream and yes well, about swanki-dooing- some things are just fate, and finding a swanki sidekick is one of them (i bet THAT escaped the portent-o-matic, lol) 031014 ... blah-ze nosebleed blood is bright and artificial. i notice when i give blood that it's a nice arterial maroon, and the pipe looks like a black cord. hey, anyway, i'm A+ too (and have a keyring to prove it). is having a nosebleed in the shower and then trying to recreate the psyco scene perverted/hannibal lector kinda stuff? if it is... damn. i'm one of those people who hates watching it done to others, but can quite happily chat abour eviseration while someone else sticks a big bore needle into my arm. been getting a little static on my portent-o-meter... have to get the warranty checked. hey wait, here's something. you are going to drink more coke... hey! god stole our idea! had a strange portent. stayed up for many too many hours, was forced to not drink coffee... and had a dream i was in a superman costume spreading swanki all around the world... god, does lycra ever look good on me. (yes, it was a dream). that, and i was told i was swanki doo-ing in my sleep. i must have been off my mind, then. 031015 ... pipedream no, the swanki swamp is engulfing thy senses, assisted by the nefarious tentacles of the caffiene monster! *insert evil theme music..carmina burana of the old spice adverts fame hehehe* RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! (and dont leave a nose-blood trail behind otherwise i wont be able to hold them off for long with only my eyelashes (battin' power) and my swanki lightsabre (hehe) ) 031015 ... blah-ze ha! they'll never take me alive... err, willingly... ok just please don't hurt me *cowers from the caffeine monster*. i got my thumb pasted at hockey. at the moment, my thumbnail, and the end of my thumb, are turning interesting shades of purple. it hurts to type, damn touch-type reflex. can you shuffle my swanki-tarot cards for me? please? mmm... this reading is interesting... verrry interesting... looks like the world's going to end and we'll all die. hmmm, i think it's time for lunch. i swanki doo-ed for at least an hour today. i was bored witless. 031017 ... pipedream i slammed my right thumb in a car door once, and it turned purple too...the nail eventually grows out, but its really funny waving it under people's noses and going 'look, i mauled myself!' and then telling the whole story dramatically...hehe i get such kicks out of being melodramatic:) *makes a house out of the swanki-tarot cards* 031017 ... blah-ze my entire thumb has swelled up and now just about subsided... i have an exam tomorrow and it hurts like bejesus when i write. i love english. english is now my whole existance. i am confident about this exam. this portents a screwup. i have 2 exams in one day on thursday!!! and both are writey subjects. and my thumb is no longer purple all over... the back bit below my finger has turned yellow! this also portents a screwup (and i don't need my cereal box degree to tell me that). i haven't swanki-ed for ages now. god knows i need it. or some coke. gimme coke. i want coke. i found out something at work yesterday. the hot wire machine uses the wrong plastic. the fumes from said plastic get you high. i found out something today. said fumes are addictive. for once, i wanna go to work. swanki oracle, signs off... 031019 ... delial a better question would be why noot?! heh, this phrase has been in my mind for days now. i imagine a long limbed curly haired illustration of a woman wearing laceup ballet-ish shoes (bergundy) on sepia toned paper with a swinging hip sort of pose; her skirt is a light peach color, her blouse a soft ivy; maybe light auburn hair, dark jackie-o sunglasses; and a red yoyo in hand. she's standing on a grey sidewalk lined in lime grass maybe a small white dog is running along beside her, leashless my mental image factory likes to work overtime during the wee hours of the morn, yep. 031019 ... pipedream swanki doo-ing is less swanky; you can do it in your jammies. in fact, lots of GOOD swankies are done in jammies in the early morn when you actually wake up happy from a really great dream, or a sense of 'today, something really good is going to happen'. im sorry about your thumb; writing with THAT must be one heck of an achievement...use it to score sympathy points on otherwise crusty old invigilators ;) swanki sidekick, over and out 031019 ... blah-ze the first swanki doo-ing session i ever had was in my jammies (or p-j's, as they are lovingly referred to here). i was about six, and kept everyone awake for a couple of hours until i got yelled at. the portent was false, i am 99% confident about my exam i finished 2 hours ago. that portent-o-matic has a lot to answer for. i will now procrastinate until panic sets in. 031019 ... blah-ze i am not crazy. dont look at me like that. 031020 ... pipedream oh good, i was JUST about to ask abotu the exam...how's the thumb doing? time for a swanki-celebration, break out the skittles! *grabs blah and swankies around* 031020 ... blah-ze panic has not yet set in... and i am wasting valuable study time. crap, crap, crap. i wanna panic. too many distractions. my swanki doo can't doo when holding on to someone (it is physically possible, but no, i don't think so), but i get the idea. my next exam is my second english exam, tomorrow, on 'emma' and 'clueless', john donne, and julius caesar. fun for the whole family. i hate john donne. 031021 ... pipedream you only hate donne 'cause you had to do him so extensively (read: just too bloody many nitty-gritties for anything to ever remain art and not be a dissected raisin, sacrificed at the altar of the A grade)...otherwise *on with the eliza doolittle accent* 'ees not such a bad bloke ;) although oui, i do think andrew marvell is better, as long as we're on the subject of the metaphysicals. and emma. austen. eeech. did sense and sensibility to utter and complete death for MY a lev lit; i was reduced to utterly deep, instant sleep the minute i opened the book by the end of prep. leave. yeeaasshh. now the poor tome is banished to the backest back of my library :D eh he, what can i do O:P sally forth, my child, and GET DAT A! wooo hooooo and you can swanki with the swanki sidekick, if noone else. 'tis all the side-effect of the portent-o-matic. that, and too many skittles/caffiene ;) 031021 ... blah-ze i would love to get an A, i think i am at least reasonably close... and they are called 'band 6's' here. and i don't hate john donne because i have read him too much, i hate him because he is a selfrighteous, selfindulgent, big headed wanker who i am glad i will never read again. now, i am indulging in a panic because i have 6 hours of exams tomorrow. and my thumb is swelling up again because i wrote for 2 hours today. bugger. i do not drink too much caffeine... i drink less than a quarter of what i used to... but that explains why i remain an insomniac. i will now frenetically study for several hours, hyperventilate, and pass out with a grimace on my face. 031021 ... pipedream yay, aint it grand to be a student.. :P 031022 ... blah-ze i just got out of IPT... no more exams til maths on monday!! got a dead easy anciet history exam, all stock standard questions... all that praying to pagan gods and ritual sacrifice must be paying off. that, or the study i did actually got into my head. don't laugh, it's just a theory. IPT was easy as well, only a couple of questions i didn't know. halfway through i panicked and wondered whether the swanki sidekick would come and save me from the examiner witch and her evil henchdemons... had a dream that i burned down the hall and then chopped up the examiners with an axe... think this is a portent? or just a metathetical representation of my innate desire to put everyone out of my misery... i can't tell. anyway, tomorrow is a mid-exam rest day, given the fact that i will almost certainly fail maths and i don't care because i have enough units to get by without it... and my right arm is really sore. not that that will stop me from getting lost in a nice long session of swanki doo as soon as i come home from hockey. 031023 ... pipedream of course i shall save you from the evil invigilators, lemme at 'em *growls for effect* hahaha the choppin' down of the hall portenteth great portent. thou shalt perfom feats of amazing amazingness in the near future- thou mayest even pass math! GOODEST luck for math, that ole cow *sprinkles some lucky sparkles in the air* quick, breathe them in 031024 ... blah-ze i am on the brink of trying to study. this is a great moment for me. all i have to do is take one more step and pick up the book... nope, sorry, willpower can only do so much. portent... wonderful! now if i really do fail maths, with all the powers of heaven and earth behind me, well, does that ever speak against me. 'all the powers of heaven and earth behind me'. gotta put that in my resume. 031025 ... pipedream also having the luxury of a swanki doo temperament, swanki cheifdom and swanki sidekick with a big smile ;) 031026 ... blah-ze i failed maths, dagnabbit. i hate logs. and i even figured out how to do the simpson's rule, but it had a log in it. something complicated you know how to do and they throw a log in the middle. now, i have a week and a half before my last two exams. and then it's all over. i will now go and... er... study. 031027 ... pipedream damned logs, i dont know 'em either...and this is PRE-CAL, i dont know how the 2$^#$&#%&%$^# im going to do cal-1 next quarter :P i'll go study too:P 031027 ... blah-ze i am sure i wrote something a couple of days back. after my day off, i took another day of wednesday and now here i am. this is now the first official study day for three days. i am back in the groove. aaah, who am i kidding. i should not have got up this morning. i have tried to teach my dog how to swanki doo. he sits and stares at me with his big_pretty_eyes and i can't help it, i have to give him the rest of my breakfast. poor itty thing. so what if he is something like 55 kilos. redonning the cap of the swanki guru, i have cast my second sight deep into the strands of time. i see myself... getting out of bed this morning. i guess that means i have to go back to bed. oh well, can't argue with fate. gotta go. 031029 ... pipedream what breed's your doggy? the portent-o-matic's come back from the cleaner's, they said it'd gotten clogged with sparkle dust and skittle mush...next time snack AWAY from the little tubes! (and i'll try not to breathe too much near them tubes neither...hahaha aren't i pretentious, assuming i exhale sparkles, pshaw) 031029 ... blah-ze he is a big, bootiful black laborador. he is overweight. he doesn't make it round the block when i walk him. i had to carry him home the other day, cos he just collapsed, in the middle of the road. someone even had the nerve to stop and ask if my dog was dead. his name is... neo. and i didn't name him. he's my sister's dog, really. my portent-o-matic is around here somewhere... just have to wade through the study junk piled all around the computer. can't find it. must have been eaten by the big lurking monster that lurks under the mess in a lurky kind of way. breathing out sparkles eh... could do some awesome decorations with that. neo could use some. he just finished his walk, and he is collapsed outside the door. 031030 ... blah-ze put a puppy pic on the blather album online, if you wanna look at him. 031030 ... Doar BOOBIES! 031030 ... Doar BOOBIES! 031030 ... Death of a Rose the blathe was so good, i said it twice. 031030 ... pipedream if you say so, DOAR *smirk smirk* *lol* awww! neo sounds SO cute! my doggie was a yellow lab..used to be overweight until the vet said it was unhealthy for her. she died last month, at six. she was very sick. i miss her. she loved walks more than anything else in the world, even when she could barely stand she still wanted to go out. spunky ol' thing :) *scratches neo's ears* hello you cutie-wootie little thing, you! *lapses into baby talk for a while* *looks at DOAR and blah-ze's expressions* *stops and smiles sheepishly* i like animals generally:D 031030 ... blah-ze i baby talk to the dog... its the only way to communicate with him. he also makes a great pillow for sitting outside under the sun and taking a snooze. now come 'ere you big fuzzy-wuzzy puppy wuppie... ohhh it's so cute... don't look at me with those big pretty eyes. 031030 ... Death of a Rose awwww.......that sounds so.....soo......peaceful blah-ze. and pipers.....don't expect any dissaproving glances from me.....just get me around my little bug....well....you know the situation... 031031 ... pipedream lol (achooly i dont but oh well hee hee) that DOES sound really cosy, actually, blah-ze...using animals/people for pillows *is* such a cosy thing.. i love snuggles 031031 ... blah-ze hehehe... then he has his doggie dreams and wakes me up. mmm... me and four other people had a swanki session... needless to say, it dissolved into mayhem after about four minutes. then everyone left. oh well. i wonder what death of a rose thinks about swanki doo-ing. after seeing what the good 'ole sidekick thought, it'd be interesting to see what he thinks it is. 031101 ... Death of a Rose something strange, doing the swanki, reminds me of belly dancing....don't ask why because I honestly don't know why. and I do more swanki dooing but there are too many fragile objects about. 031102 ... pipedream hmmm... *looks at the swanki oracle-ninja* what say? 031102 ... blah-ze good gawd, death of a rose... the idea of me bellydancing is frightening... had me in hysterics. gotta try that. so, your version of swanki is quite acceptable, by my standards, so join the crew. if i'm the oracle, and dear pd is the sidekick, you get to be the super-swanki-man. *nods acceptingly* mmm... so now, you have to prove yourself worthy of the swankiness. just slip into your size 10 lycra tights and... oh. oh dear. i found loud music is not conducive to swankiness, as the beat disturbs my swanki rhythm. soft 40's dance music is all i need. try it sometime. 031102 ... pipedream HEY! much as i love him, why does DOAR get to be SUPER swanki man and me just plain old sidekick? i want a sidekick promotion! 031102 ... REAListic optimIST this title makes me laugh so hard... well not exactly the title, but the way i say it in my head in this silly overdramatic voice... meeehehahahhahha *cough* oh ahem. uh.. anyway... i'll be your sidekick anytime pipedream. you can call my sparky. 031102 ... pipedream *grins* why, thankyew very muchly! how 'bout you being the swanki sub-sidekick? 031103 ... blah-ze this is getting confusing. i feel like i've created a monster. hello, sub-sidekick. as the sidekick to the sidekick, your position as a sidekick sidekick puts you at the outer edge of the swanki_nation (make that'un later). sorry 'bout that. you can be the 'mighty sidekick' or summat if you want, and i'll stay regular old caffi-laden-swanki-ninja-oracle. so i'm going to polish my portent-o-matic now. good'ums! 031103 ... REAListic optimIST naw no need for the change of title. if sidekick sidekick is too much, just call me sparky :) and YES i do wear tights. 031103 ... Doar YES! I have a super hero title.... Super Swanki Man.......me swanki like... okay...turn around everyone while I step into my super swanki man outfit... damn lycra is bunching up in unmentionable places.....okay....there....sparky....could you hand me my cape...that embroidered one with the swanki sparklies on it.....thanks... okay...prepare for lesson #1 in how not to do swanki belly dance......and please keep your children at a safe distance......and some parts of this dance should only be viewed by those 30 and over.... 031103 ... Doar besides i'm swanki doo belly wiggling to Leonard Cohens' "A Thousand Kisses Deep" thanks for the approval and i honestly hope that i can swanki doo to your aproval all knowing one. 031103 ... blah-ze you ain't even seen my costume yet, DOAR. *evil laughter* actually, i was calling pipey the mighty sidekick, but sparky is a perfectly acceptable name in my opinion (which no one listens to anyway, so wot hey!). i remember back in primary school i tried to get everyone to call me sparky... it didn't catch on, needless to say. 031103 ... pipedream *dons mantle of mighty sidekick* yay! this is fun...hey, what's that drought...*twists around to see* okay, NOT funny! *wraps herself in spangly cloak and makes beeline for mighty sidekick trailer* im gonna getcha!! *shakes fist from behind door* hello sparky. hello super swanki man. welcome to the swanki family. :D and *gawd* do something about swanki-man's tights! yiii! *beats down hair standing on end* hahahahahha 031103 ... blah-ze i agree... at least slap on some warning lights or something, death of a rose. and get that ridiculous grin off of your face. i hereby call to order the first meeting of the swanki... erm, what exactly are we here? ideas, people, ideas? and on the earlier subject of swanki music, smash_mouth is now music_to_swanki_by. please list others. 031104 ... pipedream oh GOOD, i LOVE smash mouth! :D i also nominate green day. *sings 'cant get enough of you baby', grabs each swanki member turn by turn and dances around* 031104 ... REAListic optimIST for a second there i misread and thought you were swankidoodling to bartry white "Cant get enough of your love." i admit i have no freakin clue what swanki doo means but for some reason i was pretty sure that wouldn't qualify as music_to_swanki_by. 031104 ... blah-ze hehehe... been listening to 'astro lounge' at massive volume-shaking the windows kind of volume-and swanki doo-ing all around my house. then when my dad comes home i turn it down and study in silence. i got an exam tomorrow. chemistry. got may last one on friday. extension english. then im free free free! 031104 ... pipedream lol nah, it was smash mouth...i haven't heard the song you were talking about, R.O (which is just as well, i think) free on friday! what ho! what fun! im presently on a break from my contemporary short narrative final paper, 40% of my grade lies in my brai-finger connection at the mo... *ominous music* 031105 ... REAListic optimIST pipedream: you are unfamiliar with barry white? have you ever seen the "Whacking Day" episode of the simpsons? he was the guest star/singer. he is the easy listening pimp mastah. 031105 ... blah-ze i just finished chemistry, a few (say three) hours ago. it wasn't that bad. some other people, for whom chem was their last exam, hired out two golf buggies, bought a slab of beer, and went out for a few rounds of golf on the golf course, which backs onto our school. i know for a fact you can get arrested for DUI on one of those things. i knew someone who did. funny way to lose your license, i reckon. i haven't heard of barry white either. seeing as i live under a rock in the middle of nowhere, that ain't surprising. i now have to watch: the maltese falcon, the big sleep, and two episodes of CSI for my exam tomorrow. i hate humphry bogart. 031105 ... pipedream movies for an exam? *turns green* i wish MY life were that easy :( no, didn't see that one...and i can't believe they killed flanders' wife! and moe! and the indian guy! :O 031105 ... blah-ze urgh... it is not fun. watching a movie for the 20th time is not fun. repeating words until they are drilled into your head as a quote is not fun. and i hate humphry bogart. 031106 ... pipedream 'momma, what's vacation?' 'it's when you go somewhere...and you never come back' for some reason, whenever i do this in a southern accent for my family, we all crack up...hahahahahha irreverent hedonists that we are hahahahaha 031106 ... stoked blah-ze i have finished finished finishedfinishedsinished..... waaagh! and i think i went pretty good! 031106 ... pipedream YAAYY! i feel like MINE are over hahahah yayayayay this calls for a swanki party! *grabs swanki oracle and the swanki-mobile keys and runs off to nearest supermarket* im driving ;) 031107 ... blah-ze i actually watched 'the big sleep' again for enjoyment. why? am i obsessed? am i crazy? have i become obsessed with some kind of sick fascination for bogart? nope. lauren bacall has strange flarey nostrils. i wanna colour movie. get it outta my head! 031108 ... pipedream *hastily dons barney suit and begins to sing 'i love you'* 031108 ... blah-ze pipedream is posessed! get the swanki-blessed-ungents and purge this purple daemon from her! we must save her soul! i'm not that bad, but i had a really odd (read:disturbing) recurring dream last night. it was like i was lying there thinking about someone saying something, and suddenly a kind of crackling filled my ears and i kept hearing the word repeating, and i tried to move but couldn't. i thought the pump had dropped into the fish tank and fried me across the room or something. and the thing is this happened about a half dozen times, one after the other every time i dropped off. i am officially dreading to go to sleep. (why sleep? coffee!) 031109 ... REAListic optimIST what is the word? 031109 ... blah-ze i can't remember 031109 ... pipedream the possessed swanki mighty sidekick is now the official medium and the purple voice inside me says: you must find the word to save your soul, or the orange tie is doomed for-evah! *creepy evil laughter* :O i used to have a recurring dream about falling...it wasn't scary though. just falling in a muted fuzzy backdrop of a light brown cliffside on the right, and green green tree-forest spread out at the bottom. and i'm falling, floating down. 031109 ... blah-ze i read somewhere that dreams mean different things if you actually land, and wake up, or don't land at all. thankfully haven't had the dream lately... haven't slept much lately at all. but that's usual. been cleaning out my room... found where all those missing textbooks went. under my bed. good lord, who'd have thought. my dog is a social embarrasment. took him for a walk... he collapsed on the footpath, and proceeded to get laughed at by a bunch of high school deadheads. he lay there for 25 minutes. he only got up to halfheartedly chace a miniature poodle... and that was kinda funny. then he collapsed again. 031110 ... pipedream your dog collapsed?! and you STOOD there? is he well? *peers at doggie* or just overweight? poor thing...*scratches doggie's ears* goldie only collapsed when she was really really sick...and even then she wanted to stand. i miss her. 031111 ... blah-ze he does it mostly cos he's lazy. if something came along that he wanted to chase (dog, cat, person with food), he would do it immediately. otherwise, he sits on the ground and gives you looks with his big_pretty_eyes. 031111 ... pipedream awwwwww thats sooo cuutteee *melts into puddle of pipey mush* 031112 ... Death to Roses CLEAN-UP, AISLE THREE, CLEAN-UP somebody melted into sparkly mush again....younguns.....sigh 031112 ... pipedream death to roses? BAD! *whaps doar's back* i have a math exam today. i don't know anything :S i have a feeling of impending doom- something weird always happens to me on math exam days..the day of the math mid i was puking and down with diahorrea; final day and nothing's happened. so far. gleep. 031112 ... Death of a Rose take a deep breath, (inhale, exhale), take another......imagine ocean waves and the oh so gentle song of the whale......AWWWEOOOOOOOIA....WOOEIAY.........lol cerealisly....deep breath... you can make it through a math exam pvcpillow..... wishing you smiles and giggles 031113 ... pipedream hahahaha your whale song reminds me of dory, from 'finding nemo'....'i wish i knew whale' *lol* i lurved that movie....the fact that i watched it holding someone's hand the entire time might have had something to do with it, but the movie was pretty good too ;) 031113 ... blah-ze the swanki oracle proll ain't gonna be writing for a long, long time... for a coupla reasons. firstly, i realised i wasn't doing anything productive here, so i'll stop messing up the blue, for all of you. guess schadentree's words bit deep, but sabbie's lil' offhand comment finished me off. oh well. and secondly, someone i know outside blather is inside blather, writing, and i resent it. they know me and mine, so i'll stop before i write something i regret. yeah, you know who you are. 031114 ... pipedream you know what...i thought the exact same thing; schaden-tree really hit me in the gut not because of what she said, but the fact the schadenfreude was HER. im getting tired of being singled out for a blasting every time i hit blather, and that too by someone i respected and admired. used to. but i decided im not going to quit just because people have a problem with being lighthearted and think that to be meaningful you have to spew angst-ridden shit about your messed up life and your loneliness and how you have no friends and your parents screwed you over and you get drunk and hence are just SO vastly interesting and deep. blather makes me happy, i have fun, it helps me and my muse get our heads aligned and i've written some good stuff because of blather; everyone else can take a flyin' leap off a cliff for all i care. and as for the insiduous outsider. hmm. look at it this way: so what if they're reading what you think, there should only be a problem if you're a hypocrite or don't want some private details leaked around; in which case adopt a pesudonym for the really intense stuff :D i do that. don't leave me here with the blather attackers! 031114 ... blah-ze goodums, what hey! (means hello, what's up, just to translate australiaspeak). i still read. it took me this long to write back. dammit, why'd you have to do that? i almost... almost... got away with emotionally blackmailing myself into never writing here again. then your words undermined myself control. and all the head-clutching antics and pained screams while this was happening made people flinch. it is no use telling yourself you are not crazy if everyone hears. just remember, sidekick, though i depart, i will send you a faux ghostly shade to guide you. farewell... this time for real! and don't disregard schadentree... she still makes valid good reading. ah, bugger that. let's start a hate club. err... the tree is a she? well, then, that puts a whole new swing on things. and i am imperceptive as a log. but no surprises there. 031116 ... blah-ze and i didn't decide to stop because of them trolls who complained, or her who writes, i (think, anyway) i stopped cos i was getting to much like them depressed sentimentalists with razor blades in their back pocket. and i rarely get drunk, only tipsy. and i still live with my parents. 031116 ... Dafremen I swanki-did because I have ADD and its a way of letting it swanki-doo what it want to swanki-doo. I swanki-don't anymore though. I tripped over a rock and my life was changed. What I thought was, wasn't and so I had to start over again. It was quite a swanki affair, but a little depressing as I watched my budz roll their eyes at me and watched the sharks, who had been swimming in circles in the wings, come in for the kill. Sharks are pretty predictable like that. I believe they are the scavengers of the seas, picking the weak and worthless out of the herds. Guess that makes an old geezer the refuse in their minds. Silly sharks definitely swanki-DON'T. I'm not sure whether whales swanki-doo or not. 031116 ... scuzz Teach me how to swanki doo. 031116 ... ferret oh! you swanky_doo_too? hehe, who knew! 031116 ... REAListic optimIST blah-ze in your next to last post on here, you said something which i found to be quite profound, so i just wanted to say so long, and thanks for all the fish; and thank you for sharing that "it is no use telling yourself you are not crazy if everyone hears." 031116 ... pipedream *sniffs* we get all this swanki-attention just when the swanki poo-bah decides to leave, it just 'aint fair. i'm running out of things to say so i think i'll just step into my blather_corner and watch for a while until i feel like saying something again. whales probably DO swanki, and sharks definitely don't. quick, sparky, show 'em :) i will miss you, blah-ze. youse me jigar. *sniffs again* i'm genuinely sad now. 031117 ... blah-ze awwwwwwwwlright, the swanki_room is now in session. welcome back, swanki sidekick. sparky and road too. in recent news, i have had a swankiliciously awesome day. i got the job i wanted, found a car that i can afford, and everything is falling into place, yess, precious. my occupation is to be a laboratory_monkey at a winery, my fine chariot a blue grey 1984 mitsubishi sigma sl. 040107 ... pipedream i smiled when i saw the swanki page on the list. hooray! *dons swanki outfit and snaps the lycra experimentally* yep, still in shape ;) the car sounds gorgeous....i love old cars :P~~~ wish i had one...a car, any car to drive on my own...can we make it the official swanki-mobile? (unless someone else's got a cooler car;) ) 040107 ... blah-ze definitely. swanki-chariot shall it be. though it doesn't help that the interior is all blue, everything is blue, blue, blue. 040107 ... pipedream well, it DOES belong to a blatherskite ;) how 'bout we get it custom swanki carseat covers? something with a logo *makes frame with fingers* ahhh, yeessss 040108 ... blah-ze mmm... blue. picking car up on monday. so what exactly is the swanki_symbol? any ideas (it has to be 100% organic and dolphin-friendly). 040109 ... pipedream hmm...how about...a dolphin? wearing a cape...lol 040109 ... mon oh my! 040111 ... pipedream do you have the bitten digit attached still? :O and dolphins are definitely swanki-ers.. 040111 ... blah-ze er... yes, it is attached. i was only about eight and quite surprised. update on my status as a functioning member of society (snicker), i have started my course to learn how to be a lab_monkey. the course is something like: this is a beaker, this is a thermometer, this is a burette, this is a pipette. i feel like i'm back in school sleeping through chemistry. the class is interesting: there is a guy who looks and talks like a stoner, but holds conversations about gene-splicing chardonnay varieties and suchlike; the is a girl who was, up to a couple of months ago, engaged living in sydney, now she is single living in griffith...; the is another girl who used to be a carpenter and decided she didn't like it; there is a mexican who seems only to think of tequila and stealing the lab equipment to make drugs; there is a scottish girl; there is an evil fat man with a beard who used to be a hortaculturalist; and so the list continues... to a seventeen year old fool just out of school who writes on some strange website and glares suspiciously at everyone. 040114 ... pipers sounds dead interesting. what class is this again? 040114 ... blah-ze never mind, it's all done now. thank gawd. i start monday. 040116 ... pipers miiidniighttt not a sound from the paaavemeennttt vroom vroom what's the class for? 040116 ... blah-ze cats? i love that! back in primary school i played mr mistopheles (or however that is spelt) in a little production. i still have the hat in my room (at home, not where i am staying, which coincedetely has no internet... which is why i write sporadically) the class for my job i had to do. the 'this is a burette, this is a pipette' class. which taught me nothing. 040131 ... Death of a Rose holy licking lollipops batman! it's been awhile since the swanki palace has been visited 040225 ... blah-ze loosen that lycra, dancer-man... this comic is pg-13, much more and we'll only be on late nights... 040225 ... pipers ahahahhahah YAYYY helloooo swanki palace...*croons lovingly at cobwebs* you wonderful man, you recognized it...*grins*....its such a hauntingly beautiful song, isn't it? i had a complete 'midnight' moment a month or so ago, will detail it when im in the mood to wax eloquent.. *goes swanki sidekick costume-hunting* 040226 ... blah-ze da da dada! i have made a costume for thee, sidekick (actually, i just ripped a hole in a bedsheet and coloured in squiggles with a texta). tis good to be the oracle. i forsee i must talk to scotsgirl tomorrow night. 040227 ... pipers oh oh ohohoh!! didja talk to her yet? what did you say? more importantly, what did SHE say? *tugs on mighty swanky new costume and flaps about happily* the squiggles- specially this here yellow ones- are MOST artistic, have you been practicing? i woulda liked to play hockey, but that would require a left-handed stick. lacrosse has always intrigued me, more than hockey even. 040228 ... blah-ze hock-crosse shall be the new sport of swankidom hereforth. mmm... hockey nite tonite. now, where's my get-up... i thought i saw puke-inducing fluorescence around here somewhere... 040303 ... pipedream here it is, bright lovely vomit of slime green :D *waves hock-crosse around dangerously* wooot! 050110 what's it to you? who go blather from