masturbation
jeff the obvious - playing with one's self. often in a sexual manner. the less obvious - toying with someone else for your own enjoyment. both are common. 980905
...
ang ensures sanity in the "dry" spells whether it's months or years.

trust me...
980918
...
charley who needs dry spells? 980920
...
Caine I think that lizards need dry spells. Do they masturbate?
980920
...
emily Its ok but, to feel someone laying next to you is so much better of a rush that masturbation. It just is a lil release of the building fluids. 990130
...
q autoeroticism 990330
...
simon Is something Josh Jones does very often. 991129
...
troy Who is "Josh Jones"?.. 991222
...
old hick I know it seems perfectly reasonable that jacking it will help you get to sleep that night before a big test. It'll relax you and send you off into dreamland in no time so you'll be well rested for the exam, right? If only life were that simple. The sad truth is it'll just keep ya up until all hours and the next morning, not only will you feel like shit, you'll also feel pretty fucking stupid... at least this is what my friends tell me. 000121
...
timothy the magic wasp not a random occurrence. happens more than once. 000122
...
kari my best friend over the summer constantly complained cause he couldn't get laid. when i told him to masturbate, he told me he couldn't because he always felt too guilty about it. he was catholic.

fuck catholicism for making something as cool as masturbation into something bad. those bastards ruined Rob's whole summer.
000127
...
BoofPixie A girl's best friend. 000309
...
SomeoneElse Also known as maintenence. 000504
...
birdmad ritualistic.
sometimes.

when there's no one around to help me
when i wan't to get closer to "god."
whether or not i'm "getting any"
(just because it's always ready)

something about my new diet has caused my testosterone levels to shoot through the roof

though i am straight i wan't to dress like a nun and call myself "our lady of perpetual arousal"

Priappus enshrined
000504
...
fairydust everyone is so tight-lipped about it. my friends and i are very open i guess. every day at lunch "so, who masturbated last night?" lots of enthusiastic me's result from this. we all know each others styles, techniques, where and when. maybe that's a little too open. 000506
...
lump not so great when you do it to someone and come goes all over you. 000717
...
michael everyday
sometimes threetimes
sometimes more
sometimes naught
lately never
need a friend
to hold and caress
not my dick
000717
...
moonshine liberation 000718
...
jennifer 122 Terms for Female Masturbation:
1. Flicking the Switch
2. Reading Braille
3. Hiking the Grand Canyon
4. Deep Dishin'
5. Sushi Party
6. Polish your Pencil
7. Ring for the Maid
8. Ride the Curl
9. Tickle the Mustache
10. Entering No Man's Land
11. Loob your Goob
12. Flying Manual (with hands)
13. Flying on Automatic (with vibrator)
14. Copying Georgia O'Keefe
15. Digging a Trench
16. Scrub the Cake Pan
17. Accordion Solo
18. Beating the Bush
19. Buttering the Potato
20. Performing for Mr. Swaggart
21. Combing the Brush
22. Flipping the Flaps
23. Launching a Class Probe
24. Searching for Spock
25. Muff Ruffing
26. Petting the Bunny
27. Riding the Wild Hand
28. Stirring the Cauldron
29. Tweaking the Twig
30. Strum
31. Push the Button
32. Strummin' the Big Open
33. Butting the Bead
34. Moving the Stone
35. Parting the Petals
36. Caressing the Kitty
37. Making the Kitty Purr
38. Clit Bliss
39. Clit Twit
40. Furry Fun
41. Fuzzy Fun
42. Finger Fun
43. Parting the Red Sea
44. Petal Pushing
45. The Sweet Slide
46. Buzzing
47. The Wild Ride
48. Southern Comfort
49. Enjoying a Little Southern Comfort
50. Navel Maneuvers
51. Blooming
52. Blossoming
53. Praising the Orchid
54. The Southern Slide
55. Taking a Trip south
56. Exploring the Deep South
57. Traveling Past the Mason-Dixon Line
58. Lady Fingers and Cream
59. Southern Seduction
60. Digitizing
61. Romancing the Rose
62. Ringing Southern Bells
63. A Little Southern Romance
64. Southern Pleasures
65. Buying an "E" Ticket
66. Making Waves
67. Fanning the Furnace
68. Mistressbate
69. Hoodwink
70. Juice It up
71. Jill-Off
72. Polishing the Pearl
73. Battery Testing
74. Setting the Oysters
75. Uni-Sex
76. Dating My Palm
77. Tossing the Pink Salad
78. Rocking the Little Man in the Boat
79. Tip Toeing Through the Two Lips
80. Petting Kitty
81. Finger Dancing
82. Playing Fiddle
83. Spelunking
84. Churning the Cream
85. Making Butter
86. Pearl Diving
87. Stroking the Snail
88. Shelling the Bean
89. Feeding Fish
90. Jump Start the River
91. Crossing the Swamp
92. Yawning
93. Invoking Venus
94. Four-lip Whistling
95. Playing Piano
96. Feeding the Other Mouth
97. Shooting the Rapids
98. Scuffing the Muff
99. One Hand Clapping
100. Harp Playing
101. Digital Special Effects
102. Flipping Through the Pages
103. Pitching in the Bush Leagues
104. Touch Typing
105. Making Bumps
106. Rolling the Mink
107. Spreading the Petals
108. Skimming the Cream
109. Watching the Butterfly Smile
110. Making the Oysters Smile
111. Pressing the Pleats
112. Basting the Meat
113. Tickling Her Fancy
114. Making Five Fingers
115. Going on a Finger Ride
116. Dunking the Beaver
117. In the Hand Cream
118. Greasing the Skillet
119. On the Waterslide
120. Doing Laps
121. Surfing at Finger Beach
122. Crossing the Great Divide

From Blue Stocking, Summer 1994.
Compiled by Pat Moriarty and Ellen Forney
Blue Stocking
P.O. Box 4525 Portland, Or 97208
(503) 241-4513
(Reprinted in Women Who Masturbate issue 6, summer '95, published by Theresa Kimm, PO Box 3690, Minneapolis MN 55403

Most Frequently Encountered Terms Used for Female Masturbation*
By Men -
1. Fingering
2. Playing with herself
3. Frigging
4. Getting off
5. Using a dildo

By Women -
1. Playing with herself
2. Fingering
3. Getting off
4. Feeling yourself

*This second list of slang words was collected from sociology classes of all levels at a New England state university in spring 1990. The sample of 167 included 102 females and 65 males from the same state.



STANDARD TERMS FOR MALE MASTURBATION



1 MASTURBATING
2 Onanism (A biblical term)
3 Playing with your penis
4 Playing with yourself
5 Beating your meat
6 Beating off
7 Jacking off
8 Jerking off
9 Stroking or stroking it
10 Stroking your cock
11 Stroking your meat
12 Getting a hand job
13 Whacking off
14 Shooting off
15 Wanking or Wanking off (Mainly a British term)
16 Getting your gun (Military term?)
17 Frigging
18 Friggin' your riggin'
19 Fucking your fist or fist fucking (but this last usually refers to anal or vaginal penetration by a hand)

OTHER PURE VERB FORMS
20 Pulling your pud
21 Pounding your pud
22 Pulling your putz (Yiddish term)
23 Flipping off
24 Rubbing the wad
24 Smacking off
25 Jerking rod
26 Firing your peter
27 Spike your cock
28 Pop your peter

DOING THINGS--ANIMAL METAPHORS
29 Milking the mouse
30 Sperming the worm
31 Loping your mule (A southernism)
32 Milking the bull (Another southernism)
33 Riding the bull
34 Whipping your turkey
35 Slapping the monkey
36 Stroking the muskrat
37 Chocking your chicken
38 Charming the snake
39 Making the hooded cobra spit
40 Strangling the goose
41 Making the rooster crow
42 Shaking the snake
43 Skinning the lizard
44 Ride the dolphin

DOING THINGS--VEGETABLE METAPHORS
45 Popping your nuts
46 Pealing the banana
46 Rubbin' the nubbin
48 Juicing the plum (Very descriptive, I think)
49 Jerkin' your gerkin
50 Spiggin' the twig
51 Sap your woody
52 Juicing a woody
53 Spanking the stick
54 Shelling the bean pod
55 Skinning the onion
56 Slicking the slippery stick
57 Slicking your stick
58 Peeling the wand
59 Slicking the willow twig
60 Popping your cork


DOING THINGS--MINERAL METAPHORS
61 Pumping a gusher (Obviously from the Texas oil fields)
62 Panning for white gold (From California?)
63 Getting your rocks off

DOING THINGS--MUSICAL
64 Playing your flute
65 Tootling your flute
66 Pounding the pipes
67 Playing a tune on the pork flute
68 Ringing your dong
69 Playing the skinflute
70 Organ solo (or duet?)

MEAT AND BONE -- Beating your meat (Not counted--repeat from standard)
71 Skinning the weenie

72 Bone it off
73 Bopping the baloney
74 Bouncing your boner
75 Slapping your boner
76 Boffing your boner
77 Slapping the salami

JUICE & CREAM
78 Jazzing your juicer
79 Creaming your cock
80 Pumping up ball juice
81 Churning man cream
82 Letting loose the juice
83 Milk your dick
84 Making prick juice
85 Milking your doodle
86 Cruising for an oozing
87 Pumping the juice handle

EXERCISE & GAMES
88 Rubbin' the rigid rod
89 Playing pocket pool
90 Four fingered shuffle (as opposed to 2 fingered shuffle; female)
91 Five fingered shuffle or
92 Five fingered exercise (There seems to be some disagreement as to the number of fingers used--but everybody has his own technique)
93 Pumping the muscle
94 Stiffening your noodle
95 Hand to gland combat (I also like this new term!)
96 Blasting a pocket rocket
97 Tickle your dick

THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE
98 Irking the dude--Recently sent to me--I really like it
99 Flogging the bishop
100 Pleasing the pope
101 Spanking Elvis
102 Making out with yourself
103 Punishing your clown
104 Having a date with Rosy and her 4 sisters
105 An outing with Tom Thumb and his four brothers WORK? (Nice Work If You Can Get It)
106 Lubing the tube
107 Sowing your seed
108 Trimming your wick
109 Polishing your knob
110 Pumping the piston
111 Pumping the magic Jerkins' lotion handle
112 Popping a wad by hand
113 Cumming by hand

OTHER
114 Jerking your joy stick
115 Jazzing your joy stick
116 Jacking your joy stick
117 Juicing your joy stick
118 Wet dream on demand
119 Having the urge for a surge
120 Cum in the air
121 Go to Bangkok or Come from Bangkok
122 There is also ABUSING YOURSELF--I've never understood why it's called that, since everybody does it and enjoys it so much!
000728
...
startfires it's a long lonely drive back to the city on weekends. thats all ill say. 001112
...
startfires hee hee. 001112
...
Barrett If you ever need a co-pilot... 001112
...
Thyartshallshant I wish more women would masturbate.
If i could give every woman in the world one thing, you know what it would be? A vibrator. And they would love me. Millions and millions of womem would have there first orgasm because of me! Wouldnt that be great!?! Its actually sorta of a fantasy to me.
001201
...
Thyartshallshant again I feel bad for my girlfriend. We have a long-distance relationship, so we cant touch each other and give pleasure to each other. But I masturbate. She doesnt. Im getting pleasure and shes not. That makes me feel bad. Ive tried to convince her to finger herself, but shes reluctant. I wanted to send her a vibrator, but she said no. What should i do? 001201
...
Dr. Rhin If I may offer some advice here...first you need to discover why she doesn't masturbate? If this problem stems from her being taught as a child that sex is a 'dirty' thing, then this will take time for her, and patience from you, until she learns that exploring her body is a natural and healthy thing to do. However, if she is just reluctant from embarrassment, and lack of knowledge on the skill involved, then help her open up to you, in anyway you can, especially when you two happen to be together. Show her how to do it...and be patient. 001201
...
Dr. Rhin If all else fails, tell her to become re-acquainted with her Maytag. There's always the spin cycle baby! 001201
...
unhinged i'm too sick to masturbate right now...i just sleep all day long.

you have no idea how much this sucks for me since i've been getting off at least once a day for the past couple of weeks which is a lot for me.

i am a girl. i admit to masturbating. so there. sometimes nothing works better than your finger.....unless it's someone else's finger.
001205
...
grendel see: blathercriticisms

(and maybe our responses too)
001205
...
god dear doctor-
how can i get my wife to masturbate?
she is catholic.

is there no hope?
001209
...
Thyartshallshant I know the time will come when she will put her fears, and opposition behind her. She will open up to the fact that her body is beautiful, and its a wonderful thing to give pleasure to it.
But until that day comes, im just short of being a happy man
001209
...
j_blue started when i was ten, maxed out by 12

most_times_in_one_day i would have to say like maybe 15 times

in college i would take brakes between classes, go home and do it for a few hours
001229
...
damntheradiogal I dont finger i rub up and down really fast is that weird? sticking something up does absolutely nothing for me 010118
...
unhinged penetration with a finger is really pointless if you think about it... 010118
...
birdmad "lying
all alone and restless
unable to lose this image
sleepless
unable to focus
on anything
but your surrender

tugging a rhythm
to the vision that's in my head
tugging beat
to the sight of you lying
so delighted with a new understanding
somethin' about a little evil
that makes that
unmistakeable noise i was hearing
the unmistakeable sound
i know so well
spent and sighing
with a look in your eyes
spent and sweating
with a look on your face
like
sweet revelation
sweet surrender
thinking of you
thinking of you
sweet revelation
sweet surrendering"

A Perfect Circle "Thinking of You"

quite possibly the best song about masturbation i have ever come across
010119
...
jennifer that explains a lot about Dave 010119
...
Thyartshallshant That song is deep for a song about jerkin' it. 010119
...
oh so true masturbation is just like procrastination, it feels good until you realize you just fucked yourself

and that guy who feels guilty about it at the top of this page needs to let loose a bit.
010202
...
G_wiz13 Jacking-off, Jilling-off, playing a tune on the pork flute, petting the pearl etc. 010202
...
G_wiz13 i broke my record for the most times in one day I am up to 15 now im going for once every hour though so I'll report back with the findings 010206
...
ryanthered i bet i could beat that record with one hand tyed behind my back. 010206
...
ryanthered I could beat that recard with one hand tyed behind my back. 010206
...
ryanthered yup!!! 010206
...
birdmad corporations and governments have meetings and conferences because they can't actually masturbate, but it amounts to the same thing 010207
...
coral god i love it. 010209
...
coral self improvement is masturbation
-fight club
010209
...
mikey another sexual topic. wonder if its on blue or red yet even. well it will be now. if not i cant wait to read about it.

safe sex! goes along with fantasy thread to i think. great to have a keen mind.
010306
...
mikey 2-3 timer per day person here. at night its mostly to relax. stress relief and for me..it works. i guess in most ways its mainly for me..stress relief or tension relief.

i think its healthy.
010306
...
Aimee Sex can wait! Masturbate!!!! 010307
...
Dark Rifter X Have you ever been so depressed that you cant even masturbate, eat or sleep? And when you finally get a used to the depression all you can do is masturbate, eat and sleep?

It's like going from dead to zombe.
010314
...
Dark Rifter X One more thing,

WHAT IS SO %$#*&@! INPORTANT about having an internal orgasm VS a critical or external orgasm?!

Pleas... Explain it to me.
010314
...
Dark Rifter X I wrote "clitoral" but my spell check changed it to "critical". 010314
...
nocturnal this girl that went to the high school I went to had the last name of Bates. She used to wear a t-shirt that said "Master Bates" I think she actually found it at a thrift store. I didn't really like that girl, kind of annoyed me actually, but it always made me smile when she wore that shirt. I think she might have gotten in trouble for it once, but she didn't stop wearing it. It was awesome. 010324
...
coral having sex with someone you love. 010405
...
yoink Mange takk for å være en venn. Reis runde verdenen og rygg igjen. Jeg elsker min riktig hånd. Hvorfor? Fordi det er alltid der for meg. Takkgammel venn. 010517
...
burden "The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
Is the greatest love of all..."

Thank you, Mrs. Houston.
010518
...
Special K I'm for it.

I know a girl who, for all her swingin' wild ways, doesn't like to watch her man workin' it. I'm like, girl you're kidding! I mean, we're not talking about coming home early and finding him jacking off to porno alone on the sofa, here (which would be admittedly sad and pathetic,) we're talking super hot and sexy right there in the room with him in the middle of a groovy love-in, baby! Yeah! I think it's really sexy to be so comfortable with one's beloved that you can do something as personal as masturbate in front of them. Not to mention the bonus of having an extra set of hands to help you out - that totally rules.

Aw hell, even if I wasn't there, if my man told me he worked it in the shower while thinking of me I would be thrilled. Wow, knowing that just the memory of me was enough to get him off... wow.

Usually I have a person in mind whilst dialing O on the little pink phone (they left that term off the list, Jennifer,) but occasionally I'll think about robots. I don't know why, but robots are sexy.
010518
...
enriquecito They got a name for the winners in this world; I want a name when I lose. They call Alabama the Crimson Tide... call me Deacon Blue. 010524
...
enriquecito and we've got the shower covered, for the record. as well as the bath, the futon, the bed, the bare kitchen floor, the desk at work. need i feed the "yo soy" and more, dearest? only in person, methinks. 010524
...
.. so it's cake and robots hah
mmmmmmmm....
010524
...
Karidnal It's such a quick fix of a rush...yet so unsatisfying when it's over. Why can you never seem to get enough of it or out of it? Yet you consistently do it...just to fill a void. 010524
...
j_blue i find satisfaction, but only when i take my time, and work on getting some good build up

this usually consists of alot of escalation and pause (usually, about 3 hours of this is sufficient, using lube of course)

the resulting explosion is ultra gratifying

(suddenly i wish i was at home)
010525
...
Karp Hey! 30 seconds or less!

Or double your money back!
010526
...
lothar of the hill people first it was carin, then carmen, now adriana... now what would it be like to actually experience them? i dunno. nor would i really venture to guess, really. it's altogether too nice to check their oiled bodies from afar. 010614
...
dB Minister minister care for your children
order them not into damnation
to eliminate those who would trespass against you

Who orders?
Desecration
Verbal masterbation
In the garden of bureaucratic wombs

For whose is the kingdom?
The power?
The glory?
For ever, and ever

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahmen!!
010614
...
lothar of the hill people reassure yourself, miss dB. we all know what you're doing in that candler park condo of yours late at night, when everyone is sleeping, when the siamese food is simmering upon the uppity stoves. 010614
...
sim ummm... the funny part is, I'm not dB.

Good guess, though, I can see the cause for confusion.

...And if you're lothar, then who're carin, carmen and adriana? Sheesh, talk about a woodcutter, dude... thanks a lot.
010614
...
dB Huh? I was just quoting a Marillion track. just saw the word masturbation and it reminded me of that verse.
And it's not MISS dB thatnkyouverymuch! it's MR
010614
...
sim See what you get, Lothar?
When you assume, you make an... well, you get the idea. ;-)
010614
...
kinkazoid one time my friends boyfriend was fingering her, and he pushed her hand down there too, so she ended up fingering herself while he was fingering her like at the same time, she said that it felt really cool 010614
...
lothar of the hill people ass of yourself? fingering yourself? all in good fun, my dear, now go to bed before i come over there and well... come over there. damn! 010614
...
lothar of the hill people carin uhlir, a hottie from my youth whom i expect to be forgotten at this time. as for today's hotties, well, carmen kass is the complete bombacita, no questions asked, and adriana lima, well, damn. need we ask any more questions? 010615
...
baby satan (the following is an exerpt from a brief interview that took place a few weeks ago. i think you'll find that it sheds some light on the whole baby demon thing, and hopefully it does something to dispel all the sterotypes and rumours we have to put up with)

A CURIOUS ANGEL: So...do baby demons masturbate?

BABY SATAN: Oh yeah. What, do you think we're too low for that? Huh?

ACA: Of course not. Um...what would a baby demon like yourself use as an...aide during the act?

BS: Wouldn't you like to know?

ACA: Yes. That was why I asked.

BS: How would you like to lick my torso?

ACA: Oh! Could I?

BS: No.

ACA: [weeping]

BS: You're pathetic! Jesus!
[JESUS appears]

JESUS: Yes?

BS: I was just using your name in vain! Fuck off!

JESUS: Oh. Sorry. [he vanishes]

ACA: You're mean. I'm leaving.

BS: Okay.
[ACA leaves while BS watches her and pleasures himself]
010615
...
nemo ok so... i have this stuffed animal fox thing, well its my little sisters, but my cat humps it. we have him fixed, but i guess those urges just can't be supressed. my cat has successfully removed most of the fuzz from the back of the faux fox's neck and yeah. i've seen it, and its rather funny. my cat moans and meows and groans when it humps it. but its really funny to see people that just dont know any better pick up the fox, its great! alright then end 010616
...
sim Names, names, anonymous people; not for me, man. My robots might seem to be the exception, but they're always wearing the skins of people I know. They're the people I love, but different - amnesiac, forgiving, without motive or threat. They're like stuntmen, doing all the dangerous work and keeping the delicate relationships safe and sound. They let me be me; they smile and kiss and suck and bite, and never break my heart. 010616
...
namrehsif The more I skim the images of the women you desire, tiny wisps of shadow and flesh, the more convinced I become that this is all a game, that every harsh word you have ever said to me is true, particularly those hurled in the frustrated darkness of vacation beds. The flaws you listed were numerous, but apparently there were some left unspoken... I am many things, but I am not a doll. 010616
...
phil makes you soft 010704
...
el chorizon a quick game of five on one 010705
...
panacea sounds like a word on a wedding invititation. "we invite you to join us in this celebration of holy masturbation"

don't knock on it though, it's sex with someone you love

and how can something that feels that good be that bad?
010714
...
meg Last night, I was screwing my boyfriend (if you can call him that), and after he came, I kept moving on top of him. I started masturbating and had what was close to the most intense orgasm of my life. I think it's very satisfying... Is there really anything to be ashamed of? 010815
...
unhinged i told him that if i didn't love him i would have given up a long time ago and he conviently changed the topic of conversation to my masturbation habits. i can always tell when i get him; the silence and sudden shift of topics give it away every time. 010815
...
kraken the tempting. sex on the brain. porno from friends in email. sex on tv. arroursing commercials for tv dinners. the vibrations on the back of a bus. tight pants in the summer. beats at your head till you cant concentrate on anything else. beating. beating. beating. release the pressure. then the guilt. why cant i find someone else. why is my life fucked. 010904
...
Norm I have lots of sex. I dill my pickle more often than I have sex though, alot more often. I'd rather have sex, I'd rather get head, but if your by yourself and you've got nothing better to do and its just sitting there, why not, right? It's like drinking Ive got the whiskey next to my computer why not just tip it back and get pissed, why not wax the tobogan a little, eh? 010905
...
starved a passionate longing left unfilled
so close and yet somehow a million miles away

furtive and forlorn when all was said and done

the ache of this desire
a hunger as yet unfed

and this, the only relief
...but in my mind and heart (and perhaps a bit lower too) the hope that one day this song of mine might become a duet instead of remaining a solo)
010905
...
Toxic_Kisses ThyartshallshantI already have my own Viobrator, but some times I feel the same, wish I could give all my girl friends a vibrator, thay’ed never have to worried about being rejected by it.
unhingednot unless its some one elces finger, but that’s off topic.
Special K - I watched My ex once, can we say Yawn?
011011
...
Aaron you know.. it's kinda odd.. i used to get myself going about once or twice a day.. but i started taking these meds.. and i could masturbate.. but i don't have the eurge.. i mean it would be nice to get off... but i just don't have the want.. it's kinda sad.. i haven't blew a load in about 5 maybe 6 days.. i tried a little phone sex with a friend... but that didn't go well.. i kept getting there and it would stop.. it's alot like a build up then it would stop.. over and over and over... so i wonder when the next time i decide to stroke will be.. i even almost feel guilty for it.. which is wierd.. i never did before..medication
hrmph... strange side effects huh?
011114
...
lost i used to masturbate 2-3 times a day. i havent masturbated in over 2 months. maybe more than that. i do get horny just as i always have but i just dont find myself masturbating. I started to masturbate once after my girlfriend left and we were messing around but i didnt. i dunno it's just weird. 011114
...
tina imagining someone else's hands. 011128
...
ClairE ...is good.

There's so much more I can say--I
see it like
a tree spread in front of me
the trunk
and the roots
and the good leaves
but I have to write a paper.

Damn.
011128
...
fella he who hesitates, masturbates... 020211
...
little wonder on one of the computers at school, there was a picture of a kitten being chased by these little monsters.
that in itself was funny.
but then, at the bottom it had another little kitten face that was sad and it said
"Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
please think of the kittens."
020308
...
silentbob i saw that too. it made me laugh so hard 020308
...
Grievance could someone please email me this picture? 020308
...
little wonder Ohh if I had the picture, I would indeed. I have no idea where to find other than that computer at school though.
So if anyone knows where it is on the internet you should tell me too ^^
020308
...
Syrope http://members.aol.com/johnk0/godkills.jpg 020309
...
little wonder thank you very so much! 020309
...
girl_jane *tries to count how many kittens are dead because of her*

I feel awful.
020309
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pralines&cream Don't be ashamed, women!!!

It's healthy and quite fun!

How else can you direct a man to please you??
020309
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girl_jane I'm not ashamed at all. I just feel bad for the kittens... 020309
...
pralines&cream ah, that wasn't directed to the women on this blathe ... i know the women on this blather aren't ashamed.

That was directed to all the women out there who, unfortunately, are.
020309
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blown cherry I've really gone off it.
I'd much rather have sex. You really can't beat having that other person there. I did it a lot in high school though.
And I had many a make-shift vibrator in those days when I was too young to go out and buy one.
I had to be a creative eleven year old.


Caught my ex at the poota screen first thing in the morning once. I was really pissed off. "Why didn't you just wake me up?"
It felt like he was cheating on me.
It hurt.
It was almost over by then anyway. That only helped to speed things up.
So stop blaming me for everything you dick, it was you fault too.
020310
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Lumenia My friend gave it up for Lent this year. I don't think he's ever been so funny in the time I've known him.

I'd never give it up, though. Sure, I'd rather have a warm body there with me at night, but that doesn't seem like it's ever going to happen. So, why not just turn up the music and hope my roommates don't come a-knocking?
020310
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lycanthrope speak now or forever hold your piece...cuz you ain't gettin anyone else to hold it at this rate 020310
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Ahmad Masturbation is a good way to relive stress, (and headaches) 020820
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thea this is odd, but i've never really understood how a girl is supposed to masturbate. i touch myself a little but never really get aroused.
in our memory book at camp, a kid in my class was quoted as saying the kitten thing with some changes, but they took out the word "masturbate." so it was just
"every time you [big blank space] a ninja kills a kitten.
-guy"
it was amusingly pointless.
020820
...
insatiable is all in the wrist.

sadly my only release without someone here to kep me company
020820
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jane want to laugh really hard? see what the bible says about masturbation at

http://www.bible.com/answers/amasturb.html
020820
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anne_jumps Nature's sleep aid and tension releaser. Love it. 020830
...
habitual masturbation
mesturbation
mesturtation
meturtation
metirtation
medirtation
meditation
021101
...
habitual masturbation
mesturbation
mesturtation
meturtation
metirtation
medirtation
meditation
021101
...
habitual masturbation
mesturbation
mesturtation
meturstation
metirtation
medirtation
meditation
021101
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~gez~ so much better if i know i am not the only one whose doing it, especially if i know who ~ the others ~ are 021102
...
~gez~ thinking about you..
..it is such a turn on

thinking about you..
______ ..doing this
..is even more
021102
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clone sex it wouldn't be any of those
you would be fucking yourself, literally
021104
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jessicafletcher i have short fingers
help me.
021211
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Jen I honestly don't care WHAT the Bible says bout masturbation. It's too good to stop indulging in - I could do it all day long. I can't wait til college when I can invest in a vibrator. Double the pleasure, double the fun... it's gonna be an orgasm like no other. 030323
...
nomatter Sometimes I feel as though I am oversexual, being a girl. I seem to talk about sex more often than others around me. I am constantly thinking about fucking an assortment of men. I like porn. I masterbate... lets just say often. 030901
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the oneders not all christians think that masturbation is wrong at all. i don't believe the bible ever directly addresses the issue, though, it does speak of "purity." i've read a lot of articles on it and most say that it is acceptable if it does not come an obsession or the main focus of one's life. besides, i don't think god would be that cruel. 030901
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realistic optimist don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone i love! 030901
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megan oh my
with the vibrating shower head
what an invention indeed
030901
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Ter I masturbate but i always feel like i sinned afterwards. you say loosen up, but what am i supposed to do? every time after i masturbate i blather. its really weird. Afterwards i always think "Did i just lose my virginity? Did i just fuck a friend? 031004
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nomatter the shower head!!! 031004
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exsists sex stories are important 031007
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yyyo jacking_off 031231
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tauntedluv sometimes the only person you can please is yourself :) 040127
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Machiavelli70 The APC song isn't deep, people are just shallow.

And here's my experience with not masturbating -- it makes your balls hurt and distracts you. However, performance goes schwing through the roof.
040305
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once again "Chocolate Grinding" - Dechamp 040305
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? roughing up the suspect 040323
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damn damn damn melting the popsicle 040324
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strawberryxgash For boys: five knuckle chuckle.
For girls: Double clicking the mouse.

Why is it pretty much acceptable for boys to do it, but with girls its all dirty? Boys can talk about it with noone thinking anything of it, but do you ever hear a girl saying, "damn, i need to get myself off when i get home"?
040324
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mt jilling_off (fem.) 040328
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jane girls talk about it. you're just not hanging out with the right girls. 040328
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ha ha ga...sheesh and everything. Also, we must examine its fruit to see if it is from God. 040403
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white wave me, arguing with myself as entertainment on blather 040404
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jane i got high on cocaine last night & masturbated for a half hour straight 040407
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girl_jane I don't have to get high at all to masturbate for a half hour straight... 040407
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kookaburra i dreamed that lord and taylor was giving out rental vibrators 040407
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stork daddy whenever i masturbate now it takes me like an hour to get off...i think i'm not getting enough sleep. 040408
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dudeinanigloo go to vagina_dialogue 040417
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JdAwG Three cheers for masturbation! High fives all around...no? No one? 040525
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ethereal high five!! x2 040525
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cinzento Can't seem to anymore at all. Tried to force myself to, and couldn't maintain interest more than about ten seconds.

Used to once or twice a month. I think the most I ever did it was three times in a week, once. Now not at all. Not for a long time.

Is it unhealthy that I don't even get turned on by anything anymore? I thought I was supposed to be preoccupied with sex almost all the time? Isn't that what's normal?
040525
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luminesence careful with whom you high five with given the blather topic at 'hand'...

....is that..... is it....

hair gel??
040525
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JdAwG Trust me. That isn't hairgel.

Don't really know how people could get two confused either. They're quite different.
040526
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girl_jane Saturday, I will once again have my *OWN* room.

Saturday, I will once again be able to masturbate whenever the hell I want to!
040526
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Borealis I like...hair gel 040526
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JdAwG Are you sure it's hairgel that you like?

..That's gross...you're gross...maybe that's why I keep you around..


....sorry...uncalled for
040526
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Borealis hahahaha..... 040528
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Borealis JdAwG said something about rashes..... 040531
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?m Abuse_photos... 040531
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x who needs it
who needs self abuse
or hidden emotional abuse
when there are plenty of guys waiting out the to beat you within an egde of your life
bruises
welts
blood
i prefer it all to what you're doing to me
and i'm going to get it tonight
040531
...
globalfruitbat before you can love anyone else, you have to be able to love yourself....isn't that what all the people tell us?
Well, I love to love ya baby..



and hey, jennifer, I loved all the words! you inspired me:invoke_venus.
what great euphemisms humans can come up with,eh?
we can be so creative at covering up all the fun stuff--but some of them were really beautiful.
040531
...
man i like big tits on 16 year old.
Then I really need to fuck.Imagination
uncomparable
Am I a dirty pervert?
040619
...
methinx In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.

-Les Claypool
040619
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mario jerk on tits!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 040619
...
cerrt Cumshot Movies download and jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 040619
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Mediteraneo I'd like to meet a girl, to cover her with hot sperm every day and night! 040619
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Dont operate and read At least twice daily. 040809
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seeker I like to watch guys do it
and here them moan
it makes my pussy wet
just thinking about it
041202
...
seeker I just finished
laying on my stomach
with my hand between my legs
thrusting my hips
and rocking back and forth
thinking of your hard cock
plunging deep into
my dripping wet pussy
041203
...
blown cherry I started rubbing my clit in the car as I was driving home. That extra 3 blocks was just too long to wait, and the music was turning me on almost violently. 050131
...
stork daddy used to be so nice...not a mechanical chore you do before going to sleep. i remember first discovering it. oh i thrashed that thing. stupid catholic school courderoy uniforms. everyone had to know i was doing it just by how gingerly i walked.

"jimmy do you know what happens to your body as you become a man?"

-ummm does it hurt a lot if you do it all the time? because if so then yes i am familiar.
050216
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stork daddy damn blown cherry - i think i'm going to put off my homework for a bit. mind describing the music, the drive, and yourself with some prurient detail? 050216
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Mister Brightside the way things are going lately, i wouldn't be surprised if the next time i went to jerk off, my hand stopped just inches away from the first stroke and said that it didn't think of me that way and that it just wanted to be friends 050217
...
i need stimulation there is a toothbrush no one uses at home, a toothbrush that vibrates. my father asks, why is the toothbrush plugged in suddenly? so i reply, because i've been using it. 051213
...
who i am doesnt matter anymore so what if i used to think it was gross. so what if i would giggle when the word was said. and so what if i do almost everytime i shower :)


sometimes it was better than the sex i was getting.



hahaha
051225
...
Lafiel sex with my fuck buddy (who is my ex but we still sometimes screw...its complicated.) is always horrible and we only get to do it maybe once every 4-5 months. So ya I masturbate...a lot. I have never had a real not self-inflicted orgasm. Even when we screw he is so bad I never come when its just him going at it. I always have to "flick the switch" (thanks for the list Jennifer!) or I never reach my happy place. I can say that masturbation doesn't feel as good as regular just sex...that is if I can EVER reach it. I need a new fuck buddy...is anybody available to screw on tuesdays? 060419
...
poet yeah, sure. my place or yours? 060419
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please is anybody on if yes type something 060810
...
:( now please 060810
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from