josh rsdio Absolut phenylephrine. 000111 ... Zoe the name of my boyfriend. well, actually my savior who i'm going to break up with in two weeks (if i can). it's not that i don't love him, i do. it is that i have gone out with him for two years and it is getting too familiar. damn him. why does he have to be so nice? he saved my life (i was about to kill myself), he rescued me from a bad relationship (i was getting abused), he even helped me quit drugs and cigarretts. god, he's a saint. i don't love him like i used to. i wish i did. i'm sorrey. 000717 ... stupidpunkgirl you looked good on the surface you are 20, i'm only 16 you're in a band and help with the record label you seemed emotional i got to know you you live with your parents you steal from your job you play so many video games and still not over your last girlfriend you promised things that would never happen you can't remember when you had your nipple pierced because you were so stoned you used to do cocaine you never graduated high school you took a part of me with you when you left. 001218 ... j_blue i am a josh i call myself joshy i am a doormat i think i am engaged to my exboyfriend 001218 ... Moe ...his name is Josh you should run 010324 ... punk i love this kid 010419 ... alegra there is a boy i know named josh. he makes my body shimmer and tremble and burn. and he's never even touched me. i want him to, though. repeatedly. 010419 ... the person behind the smile maybe i love him so what if he's different as long as he's not gay i dont care 010516 ... the person behind the smile yes...it is a couple weeks later and i have realized in this short amount of time that i am in fact in love with him..and he is in love with me. so why cant they just leave us alone and except that? i dont know. especially our parents, whom wont let us see each other. i want to run away, the parents wouldnt care much as long as they didnt have to see us together. my adrenaline is pumping...better stop before i kill someone eh? 010520 ... burden He's a fucknut. Much of my last day on earth would be spent doing bad things to him, often involving urine or Mace. 010520 ... redneckk or shit. 010521 ... burden It will be a long two years. 010526 ... yummychuckle He thinks I'm weird. So? Lots of people think I'm weird. I AM weird. But he says it like its a BAD thing. Sorry I can't be perfect. Or near perfect. I'm crazy, and just the fact that i care so much about what he thinks makes me crazier. I liked him first. but of course I screw these things up... anyway josh is...josh. 010602 ... Sheena my boyfriend. the one who is leaving at the end of summer but he knows i will always love him. ill never forget our memories and what all we've done. ill always remember those good times even the bad. although we didnt really have any bad times. u changed my life josh and i want to thank u for it. uve really helped me even though u didnt know it. i love u josh and dont ever forget it! love always ur gurl (sheena) 010627 ... Veronica The name of the man I love. I hope one day, Josh, you realize how much you really mean to me. I have said before "I love you" in past relationship.... But only to know now, that before you, I never knew love. When you feel true, its something never questioned or doubted. I feel true love with you. I love you. You are the love of my life. I will always love you.... I will Marry you... I will, and we will spend the rest of our lives together.. Just like I always dreamed... You are the not the person I want to marry because I can live with you, but you are that person because I can't LIVE WITHOUT YOU! 010924 ... Veronica Josh, I sit here waiting for you to come home. I miss you so much when you have to be gone. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I mean I am sitting here writing out to the world.. Not knowing if you of all people will ever see it.. I miss you .. I love you.. Please hurry.. 010926 ... bijou strange. that's him, talking on the chicago_payphone 010926 ... me where are you? 010928 ... ejo ...yea 011026 ... Josh Lamb My name is Josh. 011105 ... nocturnal is so smart. but he doesn't show off about it. he's one of the coolest, funniest guys I know. I miss josh. 011105 ... reitoei fat morbid bastard. hacking fingering pinging using windows ha ha al-ker-eeeeee band nerd. lazy. nincompoop. Use Linux. quit playing tribes 011106 ... me where are you ? 011203 ... ClairE Everyone is named Josh. I've known tiny quiet Jewish Joshs, athletic untalkative Josh, quirky Joshs and plain old fun Joshs, and a little curly_haired cherub Josh. Eh, it's a pretty good name. 011203 ... nympho maniac Okay so it isn't posssible that i could be a nympho maniac is it? That word: Maniac. Thats so scary to me. It that i like to have sex, like all the time. That doesn't make me a nympho it just makes me one horny fucking girl thats all! My boyfriend Josh is lucky, in a way i mean i guess i do lots of stuff to him that well........I just dream up out of nowhere, that i have been fantizing about all day long. Its too nice 011203 ... the week-long fling you said some nasty things, but you earned that right. you put up with my shit twice. i fucked you over, and i'm sorry. the second time was just a fling, something to take my mind off how much i missed him. and i didn't really lie to you...i just didn't want to hurt you more when we got home. 020101 ... miss.understood josh... hes going to take my virginity. i trust this boy. hes beautiful to me. inside beauty. wonderful... ill write more about him later... 020107 ... SuicidalAngel The name of this kid that I gave a ride home from work. This is before I knew him of course. He always says "hey hey, you gonna buy me some new shoes..?.. What'd ya get me for Christmas??.. Wanna go out..?" He'd be a nice kid if he wasn't so WEIRD! 020107 ... ellen cherry charles he thinks that i never loved him and that he's not good enough for me neither of which is true and i wish he'd just realize that i needed a change and i wish i didnt worry about his wellbeing so much and that i had conviction that he would be ok i was worried about being too comfortable, too dependent; i was worried about forgetting who i was. and so now im off on an intrepid search to find me, whether that's with another person or by myself...or who knows, ultimately back with him. I wish that he could understand these things but somehow my heart thinks that he never will and I'm sad for it. 020108 ... kdd sigh... 020210 ... misstree a demon prince, definately *not* the quiet, sweet type... not by most standards, anyway... our of respect for him, that is all that i will say... 020210 ... josh im smittn. mesmorized to nuttingness. hoping for everything&more no MORE. im slow. but im me. member im a wip (wrknprgrss). sht gotta go to store. bb4now. 020313 ... tiffany Fuck you, Josh. Josh who taught me everything I know. That sex equals love and respect and attention. That sex is number one, what fuels the relationship. That sex is all that's real, everything else is fake, existing only in those moments between tension and release. Fuck you. What you pried from my body, I now give freely to anyone who will take it. My mind, my heart, my body, for an hour, twenty minutes. Love for twenty minutes. But where is it? I looked and I looked. I thought I saw it, a million times, and then it dissapeared. And I only felt dirty and soiled. Wasted and used. Is that what you felt Josh? When you said, "I love you." Is that what you felt? Used? Was it only because you wanted someone to hold you? To love you? I only want to be loved. I try. I really do. Why don't they love me, Josh? Why don't they love me? I'm pretty, aren't I? Aren't I? And shouldn't that make them love me? It feels like they do. It feels like love. Pulsing and heated. Clinging and desperate. Like they need me. Like they need me to love them. And if they need me, Josh, isn't that love? And if they need me, why do they leave? Why do they always leave? And when they don't leave, Josh, why do I push them away? Why? Must I give it all away? To find the love I want? To find the love I need? Why did you take it away? Fuck you, Josh. Why did you take it away? 020325 ... josh words cant heal a broken heart unless the words themselves can convey true love. my only response to you is to offer an apology for somehow leading you on. if i have taken anything from you i give it back to you if you need it to repair your heart. it seems to me that when you love someone sometimes you must let them go and see if love (or fate) will somehow repair and make everything ok again. i hope it does. (if u will let me offer an excuse as to why i might have said "i love you" is that sometimes i try to kindle/light the fire (that spark) with words and see if the synergy of our interaction will continue the flame (of love) [eventually leading to "in love"]. i guess it didnt work :( also in a bigger sense the i do mean it as in "i love you and have that compassion" in that we are together in sufferings and such and hope we can make everything better even if its only for that night. do what is best for you. [sorry for the late response and also if im not the right josh. perhaps you take it in the best light for the right josh. :) ] i hope this helps. 020521 ... somedaysam are you talking about MY josh? the josh that lives in iowa and is in a band and i hate his girlfriend for the mean things she does to him and he loves her sooo much and she isn't worth a second of his time much less all the tears he's cried over her MY josh who is so wonderful and who i can talk to about anything and everything who tells me all i need is the air that i breathe and to love you that is our song MY josh who shouldn't get back with that scary bitch my josh who can sure turn trying on a pair of shoes into the most erotic experience of my life who wants to wear leather pants and flared pants who loves glam and my poems and me for who i am cause if you are talking about that josh you better be nice to him or i'll slap you around with a large trout cause all i need is the air that i breathe and to love him 020522 ... veronica can trust him 020624 ... nadine josh is the one who stands at the doorway by night, and has slid his way into you by morning. He is the one who never leaves, who begs you for more, begs for your adoration, begs you to stay, and fucks dirty whores in your car. he's the one who blinds you when he smiles and makes the past vaporize. leaving you with a vague memory of wrongdoing, but what-the-hell his hands feel nice they pull you to him. 020625 ... Taya i don't know whether to love you or to hate you. i love you with all of my heart, but sometimes, i think you do me so wrong. i guess we'll never really trust each other, not really. does this ring mean anything anymore? who knows... i'm just sad. 020728 ... phil today 020729 ... Taya You're not my boyfriend anymore... All I can do is cry. 020802 ... tiffany It's been two years, Josh. It's hard to believe that after so long, I can still feel so jaded. 020829 ... myplasticmind he has mustard colored hair and plays in a punk rock band. i like him, hes nice. 020829 ... king kai has absolutely fallen for you 020901 ... Trig My name is Josh. I like Josh. It just seems like a pleasant sort of name. Not so common, not to obscure. Just Josh. 020909 ... Vexy What an asshole. I swear he never ever ever will hear from me again. He tried to get into my pants and then when he couldn't because he was not my type... he moves on to my roommate. She falls for him, hook (they work together), line (for he gave her many), and sinker ("Oh," he says, "I think I'm falling in love with you.") Then he gives her the ultimate line, "We need space." After having just said, "I'm losing myself." To her. BASTARD. There's never been another quite so rude... quite so evil in my opinion. 021218 ... *silent screams a name all to familiar to my life...gives me chills for reasons i do not wish to discuss 030104 ... Josh Why is there so much wrong with the name josh? Why not andy jim or bob. I am one josh who will stand up and say were not all bad 030121 ... NIQUE HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME BUT HIS LOVE WILL NOT BE TRUE. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY SCREW HIM AND HE'LL PROBABLY BE SAYING SCREW YOU TOO. lOVE ALWAYS HOLLA AT YO GIRL NIQUE. 030205 ... Taryn S Before I've evev meat you, I had this strange, attractive feeling to the name josh. Maybe I know now why... because josh, you have made my life so much better. Every day I think of you, wishing you could be here next to me. My life was sooo boring. I did almost nothing every day, but you have challenged me. You make me feel like I have a purpose on in life. You tell me things no one else tells me. You complament me. When I wasnt feeling happy you knew just how to cheer me up. And I'm very appreshiative of all that. But I only ask of you one thing. Please dont put yourself down. Dont worry about what other people call you or think of you because you know its not true and so do I. I love you so much and dont ever forget that. I used to get picked on everyday. I know how it feels, but you have to be strong and overcome what people throw at you. You are strong person and never give that up. The day I meat you I wasnt looking for what I found... I gave up... but you picked me up off the ground and put me back on my feet. You love me for who I am, and i love you for that same reason. You can see through the not-so-pretty shell, and into the beautiful pearl that is within. Thank you for everything. You have really changed my life. 030604 ... morganicpunkjoshRM My name is Josh io have a lot of nicknames im a retaed whta is the thing about Josh's, we are all punks, like anime, have nicknames, are retarted, and play in a band its just plain weird 030605 ... Taryn S Ya know, I'm really mad rite now. I wrote the nicest thing I could think of about Josh and he says "It could be better". WELL THANX A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sarcastically) I wrote those paragraphs from the bottom of my heart. I forgive you. I miss you rite now. I know you are at baseball. I'm looking at the clock it is 7:32 P:M. You are such a cool kid I cant stop thinking about you. Uh, you know what? I put my shirt on backwards again! I'm so stupid! How can you love a girl like me who is completely opposite from you? You are perfict. I'm clumbsy and well... I have no life. Please stop crying about the people on your stupid baseball team. When you feel bad so do I. Their just a bunch of immature babies. Do me a favor and FORGET ABOUT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know words hurt a lot, but do what you have learned. Say nice things about them, complament them, try talking to them. The they'll get to know you better and maybe they'll stop picking on you, ok? Stay cool and stop putting yourself down!!!!!!!! Wo ai ni 030605 ... Taryn S I'm always trying to find some way to impress josh. Today I wish he could of seen me. Well I'm not a girly- twinky- prep or anything, but once in a wile I like to feel like I'm pretty. So today I went to my friends birth day party. We got our hair done and our nails painted. (I'm not a preppy I dont like make up and stuff) Josh I wish you could of seen me!!! I looked soooooo pretty!... Exept for my nails. I picked out this blueishy color and it turned out it wasnt blue; it was green. The green nail polish looks really weird on me. Wo Ai Ni 030607 ... . . 030614 ... Tiffany A friend of mine hung out with him a few weeks ago. He tried to convince one of his friends to come to my house. He said I'd give him head. Fucking bastard. 030729 ... Taryn S Thanx for everything. Im going to miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much when you go to LP again. I hope I can come the last 3 days.Why do you have to leave again? I'll miss you every day your gone!! 030730 ... Layne Why are you such a bastard? 030807 ... ferret was my camp counselor that one time in that one place 030808 ... Taryn S (Rain) Thank you so much Josh. You are my only true friend. You saved me. I'll never give up and I'll try the best in what I do because I know someone actually believes in me. **You are my Punk!** 030829 ... sixteen Joshwiththeeyes josh? Yeah, Lets go. He always drags me on crazy missions to the beach that make the night worthwhile. 030830 ... blamethesky followed me around town one day, because he thought i was beautiful, wanted to talk to me, but couldn't think of the right thing to say. coincidently was friends with my roommate when i moved, and saw me walk out of my room. remembered me from months earlier. avoided me until one day i saw him at a show. he was drunk and told me the story. then left. i didn't know what to say. he sprained my ankle the next time we hung out. he told me he fell in love with me when i was passed out in a parking lot and he came to pick me up. story book romance? as close as you can get nowadays. 030926 ... oldephebe..indulges his hidden geek whedon is an unqualified creative genious..fantasy and myth..with a heaping of nifty neologisms..an arrested adolescnece..and the forge of creation and invention..chimeras of various traditions and cosmologies yep..josh whedon..brilliant..where David Foster Wallace gets mired down in neurosis..all due to the arrested adolescence and dense fields of unexamined..or untreated phobias..josh whedon makes his ceaselessly striving mind..and his interest in redemption..and in those myths that shaped and informed the 5 major faiths, religions..cosmologies..moral code and what not..derivative of the fallen state of man..dearth of heroic impulse..something broken..beaten at the cultures core.. josh whedon..the worlds wrought out of his imagination..i mean..his work just really gets to me..and not just the flaxen haired doe eyed vixen who romps through the dark and light with irony as her ballast and mr. stabby as her phallic surrogate as well as a tasismanic representation of her call to becoming..i'm just rambling again but yeah josh whedon..a w e s o m e !! ... 030926 ... figure it out your damn self demon_lover 030927 ... ashamed oldephebe...... it's JOSS whedon, it's Mr. POINTY and you're a half-assed geek. Sorry, I had a moment.... 030928 ... oldEphebe sometimes i like to just let my tongue slowly ruminate upon, across the crenellations of a just huge caramel covered apple..though i can't afford to eat them often because of all the risk of diabetes..sugar really tears a body down..and then sometimes i'll just have a tall glass of Zern's apple cider on ice mixed with seagrams gingerale..and bag of just roasted peanuts..sometimes i'll just warm them up in the oven shells and all..it's pretty good eatin' now cashews..thier a little too high in fat..love the unsalted ones though.. i find that when i'm totally lost in a really good book..cashews more than anything else really helps to focus the old mandibular obsession..see i used to smoke a pipe..but i quit because...well it's not good for the singin' and all the risk of mouth and throat cancer.. sunflower seeeds though (unsalted are really good..i just can't extricate them from the shell so i by them buy the pound unshelled and unalted.. i have this really weathered nickel..jeffersons face looks rea 030929 ... blither spool check talismanic not tasismanic 040130 ... blown cherry I can hardly begin to express what a joyful feeling it is to be able to spend a few hours having a deep and meaningful conversation with a boy without the merest hint of sexual tension or the vaguest possibility of words being misconstrued in that way that words sometimes are in the affairs of men and women. Tonight helped me to achieve something close to that sense of peace that I have around Him, with one weighty bonus - there was no Him. I valued tonight so deeply that I can still feel the fullness that it has restored to my poor wrung-out heart. I just hope this doesn't turn into one of those one-hit wonders. 050106 ... blown cherry Everyday I heal a little more, everyday I get a little closer to seeing them again. I miss them like crazy. But the time passes quickly, as it does at these times. I might make that barmitzvah yet. 050221 ... seaglass A boy named Josh is controling my life and he doesn't even know it. He lives really far away from me and he probably always will. He gave me a peice of blue Seaglass over a year ago, and I can't let go of him. Somehow I know he will always call me out of the blue. He always does. Always when I least expect it. Always when I've convinced myself that he's finally gone, and maybe I can let go. And he calls me again. And I love it. I hate him. I want to tell him to stop calling because he hurt me so much. But I can't do it. I cancelled my cell phone. He has other numbers to get ahold of me but I don't know if he will. I want to email him and tell him I cancelled my phone, but I know I shouldn't because I should stop letting him tear my bandaids off every time he calls me. I don't know what to do. He drives me crazy. I despise a lot of things about him. BUT I can't let go of the idea of him. He's such a jerk. I'm wearing the sea glass as a necklace right now. No one knows its from him. I stopped wearing it for three months. I put it back on because my phone is cancelled. 060523 ... pSyche I love you... but you love her, my best friend. she doesn't love you... will she ever? you've been so kind these past few weeks... i wish... i wish i could get over you.. maybe find someone better, maybe just forget. no. there is no memory of you i want to ever forget. i take that back. I ask her why she doesn't like you, and she says she doensn't know. i wonder if she realizes how wonderful you are. 060916 ... jesse ...asshole! 061229 ... amy the reflective Josh never knew if he was in love with me or not.... it didn't last long enough.... it was an artifact of the time, drugs, and aspects of myself that get along only with certain types of people, maybe those that can handle a "the great" beside their name. this produces other artifacts such as the yahoo! page, which I really wish they would take him off of (or whatever). it's overrated, but causes surprise, which is what i think he mostly felt. as for me, i just missed him too much and also didn't have enough time to figure out if I loved him. at any rate, I'm sure he has kids, I'm probably the last white hurrah in his mind, and I must say it sure does take a long, long time to let these things go. california's deep, dark, superior, but happy claws are still in me. Josh, don't you worry, I'll get on anti-depressants soon, and at any rate, the coop has already flown. as for the non-lucks, you remain nothin' but a dissonant hard work. and if you're somebody who reads this and who I had a crush on at some point, and you're no gypsy, then you're probably hard work. oh yeah, and even if you are a gypsy, unfortunately. just to be completely immodest, I'm a great catch if only I didn't have these brain and emotional troubles. sorry to trick you like that. been gyped lately? 080709 ... amy josh was my only one and only "luck" 080709 what's it to you? who go blather from