demon_lover misstree his mark is found all over these pages, in places i will not reveal. his mark is found all over my mind, the edges that have been honed, the alien thoughts that come unbidden. he shared his bed with me, and i still cannot concieve how i won the privelige. he was beyond human, somehow, the rest of the world was intelligent monkeys to him, and he was the only person i have ever met whom i would consider something more evolved than myself. when he was cruel he was passionless. when he was kind, it was without thought, without caring. there was no weakness that could be breached. weakness in others brought only distant pity. he drove me forward, challenged me as no other could. i wrote volumes in his name, to drive the maddening taste of him from my lips, to lay myself bare as worship. do not think i belittled myself for him; it was only my strength that allowed me his presence, my defiance of my own weaknesses that granted me his uncommon fondness. everything was a game to him, as a diety placed on earth to learn humility, but who finds none within himself. we hunted together, and the hunted were instantly entralled. nothing could stop us combined, he the heartless king, me the fount of passion and light. we destroyed continents. we razed psyches. his mark is still in me, that uncommon creature, that demon, that demigod. i curse him sometimes for the rebirth he granted me; to be aware of such things, to have such cravings unsatisfiable, can be hell, but that hell itself is exquistite. he taught me that each rebirth is like the first, bloody, naked, and screaming. eyes opened afterwards are filled with terror, but terror fades, and leaves us with strength unchecked, until we find our next boundaries, and push against them, and force ourselves through the next horrific reemergence. i know that these words do little to define his essence; i know that i cannot describe how his lionlike gaze belittled all around him without thought, how a creature as willful as myself fell to him, or how uncharacteristically tender he was, at times. but this is what i can say: he was a demon_lover to me, and because i won some modicum of his respect and interest, my life was forever altered, my thoughts reformed, my ascendance begun. i will say no more. 030913 ... mon "I hae seven ships upon the sea -- The eighth brought me to land -- With four-and-twenty bold mariners, And music on every hand." 030913 ... oldE i am w/o words 030927 ... misstree see: demon_prince 031003 ... three words i_got_played back_again demon_lover 110924 ... heart/felt ... 120205 ... hfse very nicely said mistree 121001 what's it to you? who go blather from