memory
charley a collection of thoughts and recorded experiences. does blather remember? 980907
...
Pacia Through the mizzling day, some small thing, a scent, an angled jawline a flipping drape will bring one to me. It passes through with the ease of a neutrino and again I am placing one foot before the other. Perspective delineator. 981107
...
dallas I have the collective memory of a small african tribe. 990206
...
angela a young girl sits in the center of a dark room. she is fixed on a light, swaying from the cieling, back and forth. the darkness cradles her soul, shivering from the memory of her present. 990207
...
megan wake me up before you gogo playing.. me and my tricycle andand my mickey mouse sunglasses. 990227
...
adam is shaper than razor blades or lust. 990228
...
emma afterward we got seven-up in glass bottles but we had to return the bottles to the vendors when we finished. but since we had to go, they put the remaining drink into plastic bags for us, and gave us straws. and we sat in the bus, on the bumpy rural & altitudinous road, drinking noncaffienated soda out of plastic bags. 990318
...
ceorl ghosts 990418
...
s this history of my universe 990419
...
emily m haunts and fulfills, making you feel empty and full at the same time.

memory of an event is a bigger part of life than the event itself.
990912
...
Drennan I can't remember much out of my life, no happy memorys or childhood dreams to raise my hopes of what loves and lifes the future may hold. Just the odd glimpse of old trigonometry theorys, biology cell biochemestry diagrams, maps of cities I have walked only once in life and many many times in the confinds of my mind. I can't remember my last birthday, or last christmas, or now I come to think of it, what I did yesterday. I wonder if it has something to do with a head injury I had as a kid. Perhaps. But for now I think I'll just try to remember this morning and see what comes after that. Damn, I hate my memory. 991007
...
kimmichael It becomes dirty and hard to see into. With all the drugs we ingest (Force down lungs throats, into noses, veins, grrrr.) We become dismal and guilty when the things we do to smile kill us.
But I remember when it wasn't that way. My memory smiles on times when I wasn't afraid to shake my friends awake.
991107
...
Gigo Loma a thing we are cursed to have... or blessed, it all depends on pain or love... to have love and lost, or perhaps to have never loved and to have never lost...
to have never loved, no loss there. no knowlegde of what could have been and no knowledge of what could have been lost. oh, but to have loved and lost, to know passion and that it will never be the same again. but can i say that the same is good? however, to not know anything different is no great loss for one that does not know what could be.
the blissfull ignorance of amnesia, or the repression of fugue. damn those who say that one must get over loss, damn those who say that one must get on with life, for they know only their own lives. to know one's own life is to not know another's, no one is the same, everyone has experiences that cannot be found in everyone else's lives. let them heal themselves if they want, let them also not heal themselves and live with what they can no longer remember. perhaps happiness can be found in not knowing pain better then it can be in knowing pain, and that it can happen again. perhaps they have chosen to forget because they cannot bear what has happened, and that is healing for them.
ah, but memory of pain often brings fear, and fear cannot let anyone live with themselves. it must be beter to forget then to live in fear of what may be... better to live without the fear... better yet to understand the fear. yet pain and fear are different sides of the same coin... pain leads to fear of what may happen, fear can also lead to repression of that pain which causes fear. repression of fears can only bring one to a state where thay can not prepare for what other pain may com in life. knowledge of pains can brin one to accept that pain is always there, and with it fear.
memories brng fear, and with it the ability to shove that fear out, and to go with life. understanding fears can only prepare oneself for what trials await. focusing on those fears can only bring the pain of reperssion... it is a loop that must be broken with moderation. one cannot focus entirely on the pain, because that leads to fear... and one cannot entirely focus on the fear, because that will lead to repression, and self doubt...
Oh screw it, memory is good, I like it. knowing where you live, and your girlfriend's birthday are a good thing (if you have ever forgotten either, you know what I mean)
991108
...
Colleen Does it wilt like a flower,
or escape to return unexpectedly.
Does it hide like a playful child,
or is it truly forgotten,
like an old friend,
or does it float just beyond reach,
teasing?
991111
...
Alexander Beetle Does anyone know where I took my pseudonym? If I told you, you'd recognize the name from so many toys, merchandise, even a feature-length animated movie. But have you ever read the book? You know them, books, with all the big words in them? Even if you had, you probably wouldn't know my name.

Oh, never mind.
991120
...
... . 991205
...
ivy
is what i'm afraid to
reach into, that black
space where everything
disappeared

all of me...

not all
at once,
but at varying speeds
and intervals and now
lives like a jarred
librarian

brain with its own
mathematical equations,
dewey decimal
systems and honey,
if you don't know
the numbers
then you may as well
not pull the drawers
open, tossing
cards on the floor
on your knees and hands
are clasped together in
the dingy glare of light
which you thought was a
memory
instead you find there is
no hook-up
no access

and you say to the zeros and ones,
"It was only the past anyway."

you never mean it
991206
...
jennifer the one that I remember most clearly is the closet of my old house
I remember it smelled like musty coats and old carpet
and, on occasion, old spice cologne
991215
...
valis kicking back on deck chairs for the prelude to a sunrise;

dancing on the spent mortar shells of new years fireworks

new years 2k
000102
...
randy Hunh? I said what about who? 000102
...
deb my aunt is so...
::sighs and shakes her head::

it's not just anyone
who can take
memory lane
and turn the whole thing
to a detour
000102
...
jules often times i've thought of how awful my short term memory is - what did I eat for lunch yesterday?
But memories collect in space and are lamenated with time.
They cannot be changed in one's mind nor can they be erased.
Memories keep people immortal, stop watches and clocks and freeze frame the first time you realized you were in love or lost someone close to you. The feelings of these times may be revisited through memory in 2nd person, and all of your life can be at the fingertips of the secretary in your head.
000105
...
FooLmOOn so many people i know live in their memories, day after day, i guess i do it too, it hurts though, it stings when you remember the shame run down your spine or when you remember a loss. it hurts even more when you remember a love of a something, cause you know its most likely that u havent got it anymore. i dunno, i seem to have a very bad short term memory but when it turns into long term then i remember every detail. i guess everyone just hopes that they are in someones memory. in someones lost thoughts. 000116
...
hahaha I remember a new thing every day... and forget about ten 000118
...
camille An etching of a thought etched in your mind, heart, and soul. 000129
...
girl Why do people always ask your childhood memories. All of ours aren't fun and games. Right after we finally forget all the pain we went through, someone asks us about our childhood and it all starts comming back to us. Do the victims a favor. Don't talk about memories unless you had to deal with the kind of things that we had to. 000223
...
andrea there are days
when I donít remember
her
only let
her
slip to the back
of my mind
but today
she
is heavy in my thoughts
& threatening to make me cry
how I wish I could
talk about things with
her
I know that
she
would be so happy to hear
all thatís going on
in my life these days
I thank God that He has
let me let
her
go & not struggle with
her
absence uselessly
but still I wonder
when I will see
her
again

copyright 2000
000828
...
Ajuna Like sand through my fingers they slip away. Stop i yell, trying to keep the precioous memories but they run like the wild boars in the forest, they leap and crash away from me standing in the corner.

I look back ther shadows haunts my dreams, bring to them colours and smell, then i yell"I AM 20"

Time don't stop for no one no even for me, the center of my unervers, in 18 i was a kid not carin gabout the world, loving every moments i spent with my friends and now i realize i can't be 18 forever.

My friends don't call me no more we speak in an other language about money and cellphones, i wish it was back to the days when i was in my Integra with my friends all stuffed back in the back seat driving aimlessly through the hot streets of Auckland, wind blowing in my hair Arthur tellin gme to turn the AC off, bergen singing to the tune and Eugene telling us fantasies, i love them i love them, I love them.
010101
...
gwyllynne she sits in the middle of a dimly lit room focused intensely on taping up a rather tattered old box.....as she writes the word "Memory" in big red letters a tear streaks down her cheek....looking around wondering what to do and the only thought running across her mindscape is "What do I do now?" 010101
...
d mine gets confused with the books i've read, scenes from films, dreams, and sometimes conversations.
oh, it is a tricky thing.
010207
...
chanaka crystalline memory
do your remember what i said?
after years of practice
makes perfect
artwork across my landscape.
though there aren't many trees around
you'd better not touch them
solid in form yet insubstantial
they remember you
and slide away accordingly.
010207
...
Dafremen I forget what I was going to say about memory... 010219
...
millie "satan" paullette squidlery where's my cufflinks? 010219
...
mmm i think i'm losing mine..... yup there it goes 010325
...
johnny west :::collecting the fragments of mmm's memory:::
Perhaps I could sell these...
010325
...
pyro And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings 010410
...
elisabeth I wish i had a better one sometimes and other times i wish i did not have one. I wish i could forget everythig nthat has happend 010411
...
BrittStar an uneasiness stirs my soul,
a sadness touches my heart,
lips part in unhappiness,
memories play in a lonely mind,
silence comes as i soundlessly cry,
times is accepted as it moves on,
quietly i remember as the tears fall,
i sit alone as memories flicker past my eyes,
i remember life,
i remember the sadness as it happened.
010606
...
Dafremen Bootsy Collins Babeey...don't forget BootSAY!! 010606
...
blather netting of events linked together by means of signification from past to present and in so far feasible to remember. 010613
...
yummychuckle he licked my lips with his pierced tongue
pulled back and smiled gently.
he kissed me softly, whispered things
to my response listened intently.
i looked in his eyes, so big and brown
i touched his bare tanned shoulder.
he sighed a bit and bit his lip
should've known he wanted to hold her.
i know I was a temporary replacement, just something cheap to fill his void.
i knew that he was using me, told him so--
said i was just paranoid.
blonde dreds in the way of his ear, my tongue, it tickled him.
his hands knew what to do, and where to go
although the lights were dim.
my boyfriend slept just yards away, not knowing what we'd done
feel guilty to this day, but must admit,
that night was awful fun
010619
...
unhinged something was waking me up and i barely remembered falling asleep with you in my arms and all of a sudden your arm was wrapped around my middle and my roommate was coming in to get ready to leave. i just shut my eyes and tried to pretend i was asleep. my roommate's best friend in high school was a lesbian so she probably didn't think TOO much of it, but admitting something to yourself and admitting something to someone else are two different things and i wasn't quite ready to tell the world i was bi. so i figured by ignoring her glance i wouldn't be admitting it or something like that. and then she left and i was awake and you were holding me and we kept tangling each others fingers and tracing with fingertips and i was so scared because i have never wanted to kiss someone as much as i wanted to kiss you at that very moment. but it was the whole devil/angel scenario until it was too late and you fell back asleep and my roommate came back so i just laid my cheek on your forehead and went back to sleep. 010619
...
power through passion Akira, lend me a clue
I humbly bow, Mr. Kurosawa
show me the myriad paths
show me who I am
show me who we are

it's all about image
words can evoke them
but it is the picture
that the talented historian
seeks to uncover

once sat up far too late
reading and watching
saw a picture of the massacre
at My Lai
had to stop working
had to spend a long time crying
the picture is now part of me
inextricably

Susan Sontag once wrote
that a collection of photographs
from the holocaust
cut her suddenly and deeply
just an array of images
but this is how memory functions
for all of us together
as well as for each of us alone

a shifting array of images
some coming to the forefront at one time
only to retreat to the back at another
as our perspective

like a grand painting, or a fine film
misunderstood in its time
but steeped in the vapours of time
to emerge as art decades later

golly gee, it's importance changed
over time, the great mediator

it not only prevents everything
from happening at once

it gives us the gift of perspective
for this it must use

memory
010718
...
kx21 Everywhere e.g. Heart, cells, neurons etc.. not only in your brain... 010719
...
torus I am merely a memory. This hold in 3 senses:

1) How what I do is remembered by others.
2) How what I experience is remembered by myself .
3) How I organize and process my perceptions. A meme-ory.

Following from this, direction of memory is direction of the experience of time: my advice is to make choices on the basis of a synthesis between what you wish to remember as having done, and what you wish to be remembered as having done. This is the Art of Life; to Craft one's memories, and shape time itself in the process.
011023
...
Dafremen An interesting notion and certainly one of merit, insomuch as it makes the days pass blissfully by and fills the days with the hope of living beyond this life, if only as a memory. I applaud what you suggest here, not because I agree that you have described the art of living, but because like so many other beliefs, yours serves so well to help us overcome the obsessive and foundless human fear of dying.

The art of life requires no memories to be left or stored, no shrines or memorials to be built, either physically in the world or emotionally within the affections of others.

The art of living is as simple as appreciating the opportunity to be alive for what it TRULY is, a chance to appreciate and be amazed by that which created you. A chance to dance for the universe and prove yourself worthy of this great honor, if only for a short while.
011023
...
peyton as comforting as a hug

as sharp as a bayonet

as nostalgic as a carving on a tree

as awful as a storm
011217
...
distorted tendencies Memory is a record of tiny events and rembrances. Without it- Nothing would truly exist. There would be no reality. 011223
...
pralines&cream memento 011223
...
elen cherry charles It all started with the ladybugs 020131
...
ryanjames memory escapes me...did it even happen?? 020602
...
lizard i'll remember the things that i said, and the things that i did. i'll remember you most of all, but the question remains empty, and sickening; will you remember me? will i suddenly float back into your memory? and when i do, and we're both so many miles away, will we ever find each other again?

are our memories good enough for that?
020603
...
CJ memory can be great when you remember all the good times
memory can suck when you remember all the bad times
Memory can be great when you can repres the bad times
memory can suck when someone reminds you of the bad times
020603
...
bethany 'if dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts' 020603
...
stork daddy cuz then the elephants will get out...and forget to remember your name? hey...mrs....ummm...okay...my memory doesn't quite have that down yet... 020603
...
screwing for virginity why do people think that you can only remember the past? 020627
...
911 911 020911
...
or should I change Memory. The everlasting drip-drop of a melancholy existance. The old bags handed down father to son, mother to daughter. No one willingly casts off their past, no matter how painful. Why? Without pain, Fate's compass loses north. 021014
...
girl_jane the song from CATS which I must sing... 021014
...
minnesota_chris you go grizabella! break a leg. 021014
...
girl_jane thanks 021014
...
as if this were me . . . . I was in Rhodes on vacation when I was 19, having a wild time with some friends. I met a barmaid there who was flirting with me the whole time. One night, after a couple of drinks at her bar, she grabbed me very tight and kissed the living daylights out of me. It was the most passionate kiss I've ever had. After a couple of hours she asked me if I wanted to go home with her. Obviously I did. I left on my scooter with her behind me. I was so nervous as I knew nothing. All that I'd learned from the movies just vanished from my mind. She taught me everything. It was nothing like I'd seen in porn movies. She led me through. and what a sensation I felt when I was inside her. It was sensual, there was no oral sex and the like... but when I look back, I feel I could have done so much better I was happy yet disappointed I hadn't done it earlier. I guess I'm making up for it now. 021211
...
NihilineValentine I can't remember, so I assume the worst. 030117
...
Hairthief Why can I only remember brief episodes of people I have loved and lost? I'm doing them an injustice. All the time we had together and all I have to remember them by is a few brief stories and disjointed memories. Damn my insufficent memory for forgetting all the wonderfull times we had together.

They live on in my memory, I will not forget anymore.
030205
...
akenbosche fuk thinking, show some action
no one ever cares what you think
030217
...
celestias_shadow sugar-highs at age 7
your favorite blankie
chocolate ice cream dribbling down your chin on a hot August day
staring at the sky to see a shooting star
your first book
holding a baby
planting flowers and seeing them come to life
skinned knees
chlorine in your eyes
staying up late watching bad movies on tv
sleepovers laughing and talking until 3 a.m.
santa claus
cooking marshmallows over a campfire
singing corny songs
that shirt your mother hates
the easter bunny
the song you learned from your uncle
the magazines your brother used to hide under his bed
your first kiss
broken arms
the time your cat threw up on you
your first car
being drunk
all those shitty jobs
trying to lose your virginity
cooking for thanksgiving
actually losing it-finally
your high school prom
when that kid you knew died in a car crash
the summer you grew up
crying on the telephone to someone who listened
the pills you washed down the sink
graduation
a real relationship
your mother dying of cancer
the diner 2 blocks away with the pink neon sign
getting married
coconuts in hawaii
buying a house
hamburgers at 4 a.m.
playing football with your friends
learning to windsurf
your first baby
realizing that life is too short
getting fired
crying in the bathroom at night
getting a better job
your second child
talking to someone that understands
vanilla coffee in italy
your child's graduation
the letters you always meant to write
your first grandchild
everything you did
and meant to do
preserved on the film of time
030219
...
a thimble in time memory is the most personal of histories 030615
...
me something i have less of every day, not more 030823
...
tortuous haunts my existence

my friends talk about the old times,
good and bad
i sit there quietly taking it all in...
sighing to myself i think
"how does that compare to my memories?"
i shake the thought from my head and sink back into the music of the car
my demons still lurking around the bend
memories of a life long past, but not so far away.

sometimes its better to just be quiet
030825
...
phil mine is all gone 030825
...
crimson We were girls... I'm reminded of your jeans that always covered your toes and crazy blonde hair...
Of throbbing crimson hearts trapped by an ancient and elaborate, condemning lock in a crazy, dark, wisdomfull room. Dust mingles about, dancing in what light passes though the dirty, fragile glass of a window, settling on the secrets of a tragic fem world and decorating eyelashes. Incense burn and deeply perfume the thickening the air until the girls may grab onto it; and its sickly spices, replacing oxygen particles, rock them to sleep when they are feeling too lonely. Perhaps the collaged walls are slowly closing in, moving to the beat of some distant song they could never understand.
030920
...
JD She again inquires of me as she awakens:
Which is more fleeting;
the memory or the dream?
030923
...
kx21 FUSS +

BUZZ + ...
030924
...
kx21 BUZZ +

FUSS + ...
030924
...
Lint Lover I remember...
How gentle your hands were when we made love
How soft your lips were when we kissed
How slow your movements were when we touched
How strong your arms were when you held me
How quiet my soul was when you looked at me
How loud my heart was when you were sleeping

I remember...
Sitting at the bus stop
Looking up at my window
Feeling you may really be "The One"

I remember...
Waiting months for you to come backl
Thinking you'd found someone new
Felling you may have been "The One" I lost forever
040523
...
user24 is it that important anyway? 040723
...
abbey147 you said I cant be what you want from me and I said I never asked for anything lying through my teeth 041004
...
LessonsFromAngels My earliest memory is of bread.

I am a baby, sitting in my highchair decorated by pink. I had a matching blanket set, pink lacey edges, white backgroud, with blue orange and pink hearts on it. From far away, they look like polka dots.
I remember there being lots of people. People I didn't know. I believe they were relatives, most likely on my moms side, since I don't recognize anything about them in old home movies I watch. They were all in faded colors, common of my family in the early 90's. All figures were towering over me, dark seeming. We were in California, I knew that by the deep tans and my age.
I remember someone placing a piece of white bread on the plastic tray in front of me. This was significant, because I don't like the taste of wheat bread very much, but I absolutely love white bread. Growing up, it was an extremely rare treat that us kids got 3 specific food items: caffiene (or soda in general), sugary cereals, and white bread. Perhaps that was the start of defining my tastes, as food and diet is a large part of my life.
050113
...
Spokane Dear, I forgot your name
(or maybe I still have it
somewhere in the recesses
of my memory)
maybe I never
knew it at all
Or I just wasnt
listening
when we were
introducing.
but if i really can't recall i'll listen to the song, the perfect anthem of those three falls; the band that had the hits, "to watch" in '95, our names are in the titles and we're singing it in time.....
in the beginning of our lives,
it starts with freshman year
because high school's all we know, right, nothing's as meaningful
as standing around,
eating our sandwiches
children becoming
adults right before our eyes
this is maturity, walking out the side door
to get picked up by truancy,
curse the illegality
and driving on weekends,
getting drunk on a holiday
and waiting to arrive
with a bouqet of water lillies
swimming with nudity,
everyone sees everything
everyone trusts everyone
we can never die.
and we'll all
watch our friends
walk down the aisles
waiting to recieve
their coveted diplomas
some will wind up in a dentistry,
hanging on a wall
a chronicle of a time that, once,
was all we knew.
and the girl, she is watching me, wondering what i'm writing;
beauty unmatched, unchanged, unmoving
never to forget, i will strive to recapture a love so primal we would do it on the floor at night
and arrange the candle light to match our music choice,
i "fucked her raw," she "sucked the life from me" and we'll fall asleep in our arms on our Beach Week, waiting for the day to end so we can be intoxicated, we'll keep our eyes on each other, so we won't find someone else; what a horror to wake up alone.

and when it is over, the sun is rising steadily, bleeding red from the purple and the stars like pin-pricks. the yellow of the sun over the blue of the ocean, the white sand on your tan skin, the boys are causing a commotion, and we are drinking alcohol and smoking all our joints, it all must go today and then we make the

drive down the highway, listening to "Free Ride" we are Dazed and Confused and thinking of our parents, and they are watering the gardens and out walking the dogs and they are painting in the basement, renovating the bathroom, i promise to write letters, to miss you every night,
i don't want this to end,
but i think it might.
Orientation was so much fun, let's go get some pizza with our "new" friends, you see the boy with the black shaggy hair, he is playing his guitar under a tree in November; the second is your birthday, you make your introductions, he seems to look a lot like the one you used to know.

but he doesn't, and he isn't, and i wonder if you'll read all this, and i'm waiting to react to your response to all my ramblings; i've tried so many times, since the beginning of our lives, to express all of the feelings that i feel for you; it all is summed up with one word: Love, and i love you so much; i love you so much, i love you so much. i love you so much.
050201
...
Joshua James Memory..what a lovely thought. Our memories I place in the bottom of this bottle, I swallow them, and piss them away. Hows that for a memory? 050318
...
elbmirt ekul a memory will last for as long as you want it to however this message will last for a life time I remember sorrow but not happiness if you wish to have a memory of love then make it or lose it like i have 050427
...
. the more memories i collect as i get older, the better my memory seems to get. that's pretty cool. 050428
...
El-Ejecutor my RAM is too low 050605
...
BluishBelle .....time continuum. 050630
...
camille hazel eyes in my rearview mirror..

warning:

objects seem closer than they appear
070630
...
Caroline 452 my memory is hazy at best.
i have a friend who frequently reminds me of shows i've been to with him where something extraordinary happened, and i have no recollection whatsoever.
for example, we went to see psychic t.v. at the john anson ford, and at the end of the show, genesis invited the audience to come up onto the stage and dance, but you had to get past security, which was not easy. i was one of the lucky ones. all the people that made it up there went backstage with them when the show was done, and genesis dosed everyone there. that's pretty special! no recollection whatsoever. none. i feel cheated by my own brain.
090315
...
In_Bloom My love was afflicted to chase after the horizon
For a little while, I was too
Until he left me behind
"Forget him I will, just wait, you watch"
Ready and anxious
In spite of him and with sticky tears
I'll howl at the moon
090316
...
PoP i think i been in a car accident. 130416
...
PoP howl at the moon......
me toooo... whooooooooooo

:)
130416
...
e_o_i A year ago today... not a good memory. The fight was my fault.

I was going to have something to write for things_learned_from_dreams, and then I had to go and forget my dream. Ah well. It had nothing to do with monkeys.
130417
...
unhinged faulty
solidify


photographic_memory
130419
...
srealismas Medium term memory is atrocious in the population. Everybody got some cheap LED TV ?!? 160812
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from