my_story bandaids once upon a time there was a girl who decided to be like chrity, but she will end up too lazy to do enough damage. but the will was there. fuck all the gays! fuck all the other religions! screw womens rights! I love police brutality! animal testing is wonderful! kill things! shoot people! hate! be afraid of whats different! conform. the end. save yourself. 011218 ... ClairE Once upon a time there was a girl who was born able to sink deeply into pleasure and who grew up skinny and scared and who liked to blow bubbles on the porch and got pushed in the chest by life and who learned to love trees and tie her shoes and love her little brother and to wear a bra and enter womanhood and not to buy into certain beliefs and then learned not to buy into elitism and who learned that life is always a struggle and that she loved sex and that she alone could make people happy and she nourished that and learned to balance fixating on her faults and ignoring them pointedly (which is the same thing) and to love her parents all in a completely different way. She learned not to hurt, and how to get bloodstains out, and how to give head and how to listen. She's still learning when to stop talking. 011218 ... girl thats beautiful, clairE. i feel like i can relate. 011221 ... his story boy_who_destroyed_the_world 011225 ... god once there was this rabbit, see. i didn't come here to talk about that, though. i'm supposed to tell you to buy more dog_boots. however, in this time of crisis, we at central services advise against not learning to froog violently. 011225 ... kitten on drugs born september 20, 1982. learned to tie my shoes when i was 4. learned to ride a big-girl bike when i was 5. learned to play the clarinet (and to fake headaches to get out of practicing) when i was 10. learned to lie well when i was 13. learned to give good head when i was 15. learned to date three guys at once when i was 16. learned to make love like there was no tomorrow when i was 17. learned how to make the toughest decision a girl can make when i was 18. learned to steal a grown man's entire world out from under his feet when i was 19.... the only thing i've learned in my 19 years is that no one, especially me, will ever be perfect. 020101 ... brandi i'm so not good with bios. once upon a time there was a little girl born a month late and had to be induced to even come out. i speculate this girl just didn't want to leave some place safe and happy b/c once she did 14 months later her parents would split up and divorce. the only thing her mom ever did right was put down the booze when she was pregnant with THIS girl anyways b/c she knew what happened the last time. this little one was given to her grandmother to raise b/c her mother could not take care of her and the dad was a way at work for long periods of time being a military man. living with her grandmother, she visited her aunt every weekened and went to church allowed to sleep during the sermons and given cinnamon trident gum a lot. this little girl basically had a new mommy and a step-father who used to pretend to be a werewolf. very happy times but this little girl would have learned to hate everyone b/c they weren't of her same relgion. so the daddy came back b/c he missed his little girl and took her to this evil land which is the only place she's ever really known. here the l.g. didn't learn about any religion and always thought her dad would get mad if she wanted to go hang out with people at their youth functions. so she stayed away and then others began to dis her b/c she didn't mind wearing black and others made fun of her for feeling different about religion *after* all this one didn't go to church and hung out with weird people but not as weird as the *normal* ones. so now she hates others b/c she thought she wanted to be invisible and she practically got her wish. The End (for now) 020420 ... Aimee it was a hot and stick wednesday. It was the 10th day of August so the heat was not unexpected. 1983 was not a year for the books. Not much had happened. Reagan was in the White House and from what I understand, utterly fucking the nation. But it was young in his term and perhaps he hadn't messed up too much. but I digress. My mother, a 27 year old mother of two was put in labour with her third and last child. Me. I popped out 6 hours after her labour was induced. 5:46pm. For the most part my life was not that exciting. for the next year I did the usual baby stuff... teething, learning to sit up, walk, talk and eventually pee in a toilet. Very exciting shit. During this time however our family lost it's structure. Daddy was a drunk and a narcotic addict, and decided the only way for him to change was for him to leave his wife and small children. They never got back together. So mom raised us. She did well... but there were a lot of things I've noticed in the past few years. One of my earliest memories was all of us cooking together.. I was about 4 and i don't know why she let me handle a knife. I was cutting a green pepper. I can still remember the way the kitchen smelled. I ended up cutting myself. I put my little finger in my mouth and sucked on it... I jumped down from the table, but I hid the cut from my mother. I was terrified she'd get angry with me. After all, she did tell me to be very careful. My pointer finger still hurts to this day when it's damp out. It was pretty deep, but i just put a bandaid on it. When she asked about it, I just said I cut myself. It wasn't all bad... she tried, and I know it couldn't have been easy. 3 kids all by yourself... plus two more marriages that just didn't work. The men were assholes. I ended up dating nothing but assholes due to the model males I had. I even had problems with my brothers... they wanted nothing to do with their "little" sister. I was a pest though... I deserved it. But they still don't want anything to do with me. High School was fun, College sucked ass... and now I'm engaged. that's about it. 020811 ... daxle Born just two minutes into June 11th 1981 at some Kaiser in San Diego. I found out a few years ago that my parents had been seperated between when they had my brother and when they had me. Born to a controlling and critical mother (who also has many redeeming qualities) and a reckless and tempermental father (also still good overall). Some of my earliest memories were waking up in the middle of the night to screaming and my dad breaking things. My mom says I was always wary of people, and liked to observe them for awhile before I wanted to interact with them. In kindergarten I spent the beginning of the school year just watching other kids play at recess. I remember people always telling me to smile or asking what was wrong. I didn't think anything was wrong. I worked hard in school because I didn't want to be punished like my brother was. I was and am extremely sensitive to all criticism. Some of my favorite childhood memories are playing candy land with my mom, camping with my dad, and staying at my grandma's house. My brother tortured me as a result of his power struggles with my dad. I got to be at the bottom of the food chain for a long time which I'm sure has a lot to do with my agressive nature now. One october day I came home from school and went to ask my dad if he could drive me to a bonfire later that night. I found out what I seemed to know subconsciously already: that he was dying. After talking for hours and watching him not cry one single tear, he convinced me that I should go to the party. I nearly drowned and was narrowly saved by a girl who was a junior lifeguard. I burnt my hand on a pole that someone had decided to turn around in the fire. My friend backed up into me and gave me a fat lip. As the months went on I pushed the fact out of my head and became depressed without even admitting it to myself. June 18, 1995 my father died. For many years I wanted to go with him. Early high school was a blur of drugs. Then I decided I needed to get my shit together and go to college, and I decided that just in time. Danny came about in that period too. I became convinced that he was the answer to everything... perfect... and he could make me happy. In the beginning of college I gained no real friends because all of my time was consumed with him or my school work. Three years later we broke up. I thought I couldn't live anymore but that feeling was familiar. So, with the addition of quite a few more details, a lot of struggle, strength, and still no real purpose, here I am. 020914 ... Lilac March 14, 1985 I was born in a small, boring town in southern Indiana. by age 3, I was living with my single mother and little sister. by age 5, I had forgotten any moment I had living with my mother and father, grew up faster than anyone else my age. by age 6, I was raising my baby brother while my mother was always working to give us what we needed not realizing what we needed was her to be home. by age 11, I was getting lunch dentention, hanging out with the wrong people and growing up faster than I wanted to. by junior high even my best friends forgot I existed, made a new friend that is still by my side, had my first real boyfriend. high school started and I gained a whole group of band geek friends, realized I was pretty. 10th grade, stayed with an obsessive boyfriend because I didn't want to be alone, made a new friend in the back of Mrs. Harmons classroom that helped me realize that Im not the only one that had to grow up fast and just because I did, it wasn't a bad thing. 11th grade, I went through hell and back fighting for the connection I made with that someone in the back of Mrs. Harmon's classroom wondering if winning the fight would be worth the scar it would leave, found creating physical scars as a good outlet. 12th grade, almost had to grow up even faster than I already had, got slapped in the face by reality, felt pathetic when it took the inevitable finally happening before I realized I should use more sense, learned that miscarrige can be a good thing, and realized that anything worth fighting for will be greater than the scar it left getting there. Scars fade and time heals all wounds. 030213 ... sirflaccid It all began on the 16th day of October of 1982. Labor was induced because I was two weeks over-due. (Mom jokes about how I never wanted to come out, i find that ironic) When I was to be brought into this world the doctors said either my mother or I would die or both. My first memory is around the age of 3 or 4. Mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner, dad came home and an arguement erupted. I remember being very nervous. The parents took the arguement upstairs and I still listened. The only thing I remember from there was my mother falling down the stairs. After that day we lived with my grandparents. Mom stayed away either working or "getting her life back." When she did come home she liked to onload he daily woes to me. I listened. As far as I can remember I was always mom's little man. She needed me I had to be. To this day, I am still mom'm little man. I want to be someone else's man. Maybe be my own first. My brother was shy and I didn't understand that. I took out my frustrations on him. Call it an easy target. I missed out on sharig a childhood with a wonderful human being. Junior High was rough. I hated everyone especially myself. I was tired of being eveeryone's entertainment. Got into a lot of trouble and made a few stupid choices. High school rolls around, I need a change. I miss my old friends, and I want to get