why alyssa are you so blind? 990629 ... jared_d Why? Good question. Wish I knew. Tell me if you find the answer. 990923 ... deb * * * * * "I can't believe the nerve of that guy! Asking you to prom right in front of me! As if he didn't know you were going with me-" Scott Morton fumed as she and Diana walked down the hall together. "Scott-" Diana tried to interrupt, but was unsuccessful, so she said his name louder and stopped in her tracks. "What??" "Calm down! It's not a big deal. I'm not going with him, so just don't worry about it, OK? It's no big deal." "NO BIG DEAL? Did you say it was NO BIG DEAL?? I'll show him he doesn't want to mess with me... I'll-" "Scott! Forget about it. He's an idiot. He can never take me away from you. I don't see why you're so upset. I told him I was going with you. He said OK. It's over. Deal with it." Diana was frustrated after listening to Scott's whining during the last period. The fight continued on down the hall, Cynthia and Jeremy whispered as they passed by, and Abbie laughed with Nate Lake at her locker. Michelle stood with her back against her locker and she hugged her books to her chest as she watched the scene. The crown slowly dispersed but Michelle just stood, her cloudy eyes fixed on a locker across the hall, her mind hovering in some unknown atmosphere. The bell rang and suddenly, she was alone. Michelle's small frame slouched limply against the locker, she let herself slide to the ground, her books scattering on the floor around her. She took a jagged breath, drew her knees to her body, buried her face in her hands, and began to sob, the empty hall echoing with the sounds of her muffled weeping and gasping for breath. The sound was that of a heart breaking; of a soul in the deepest turmoil. Sometime later that hour, she knelt on the ground and vacantly began to gather her books. She stood silently, ran a shaking hand through her hair, and she smoothed her rumpled clothing. She slowly walked to her locker, grabbed her bag and ditched her books, then slowly, deliberately walked to the bathroom where she would wash her red face and swollen eyes. Michelle disappeared into the bathroom and stayed there until the final bell rang. Just seconds after the bell rang again, Cynthia burst into the bathroom and she found Michelle standing at a mirror reapplying her Gothic make-up. "There you are. Where were you during study hall? Abbie and I were looking for you." She pursed her lips together, capped her black lipstick, and then turned toward Cynthia. "You must not have looked hard enough." Her tone was pure ice, her voice hollow, and her eyes filled with anger. The shade she chose for the day fit her mood perfectly. She took her things, pushed past Cynthia, began to open the door, then stopped. She turned around and looked at Cynthia's hurt face, started to say something, decided not to, then changed her mind again. "I gotta go, and I won't have time to fill out a questionnaire, so if you really want to talk to me, you'll have to look for me later." Michelle smiled with mock sweetness, then left Cynthia in the bathroom, alone. Michelle walked to her locker and snatched her jacket, then put it on. As she was stuffing a book or two in to her bag, Abbie walked up from behind, touched her on the shoulder and asked, "What's wrong?" She pulled away from Abbie and snapped, "Don't touch me. Nothing's wrong. Can't someone just have a bad day without the whole world having to know?" She looked at Cynthia who had walked up and was now standing behind Abbie. "I have to go." With that, Michelle walked away and didn't look back. "Any idea? Why's she being like this?" Cynthia's face was full of concern. Abbie just shook her head. "I'm not sure, but she'll tell me. She always tells me eventually. I'll find out..." And the two girls wandered out of the school in silence, hopped into Cynthia's car, and drove away. * * * * * In her bedroom, Michelle walked over to her wall, unhooked her phone and locked her door. She pulled an old shoebox out from beneath her bed and set it on the floor in front of her, carefully lifted the lid and set it aside, then looked at the contents of the box. She lifted her pink and white diary that she kept when she was small, out into the light for the first time in years. Michelle tried the lock, but she had locked it again, like she should, so she set the book down to retrieve the key, stood up, and walked to the window. She fished around in the windowsill until she felt something, then pulled the small silver key out into the light. Michelle sat and opened her diary and half laughed when she saw the bright pink ink displayed in sloppy handwriting upon the page. She carefully turned to a certain page where the writing was worse than usual. The entry went on for pages. Michelle began to read, and as she read, she smiled once but then she gasped and covered her open mouth with her had as she read on. Her lower lip began to quiver and her eyes became misty and threatened to overflow. Still, she continued to read through the warped splotches on the paper, showing she had either been crying as she wrote, or cried over the entry later. She couldn't remember which. Probably both. As she read, the further into her diary she got; the more she shook; the more she remembered; the harder she cried. Michelle set the diary down again and locked it, then hid the key. Then, she lay down on her bed and sobbed for hours. When she got up and wiped her face dry, the sun had gone down and Michelle was sitting in the dark. She got up, hooked her phone up again, turned her light on, hid the shoebox, and then decided she needed to eat. Michelle left the room, ate dinner, and went strait to bed. * * * * * 991205 ... valis most folks can have their drive classified into one of the five questions of journalism, if you think about it. most people are "hows". maybe nearly as many "whats". there are, however, not nearly enough "whys". 991228 ... Rob can't I ever escape the cycle? It's all cycles, but this is rediculous. Once again trapped in a situation where I just want to crawl up and escape going in. 000113 ... cares why not? 000216 ... ::: im gone for less than 12 hours and he is already in my best friend's bed. he promised to always be faithful to me and she swore that she would never go after him. in one action they both broke their promises. 000326 ... WoNDERGIRL because I can 000520 ... Tiffa This question is the only one i ever have. It makes me cry. The infinite is so hard to grasp and the answer always leads to another why? I suggest revoking the word and forgetting it. It causes such pain. 000521 ... evi is the hardest question I have to ask you 000919 ... blleep why , is she a Nagual? 001005 ... someday*sam do you love me when i am with him and not with you and far away Why am i here and not with you and not far away from him and constantly constantly constantly you love me still Why? 001125 ... closer than you think You are far away, because your with him 001125 ... Tratti if the world ends with a question, could it be why? 010103 ... kx21 ...And WHY NOT!!! 010103 ... ade why do you want to be friends with me, why do you tell me i'm pretty, why do you tell me you love me, why did you pick me over her, why do you ever want to hang out with me, why do you let yourself be associated with me, why do you want me to be happy, why do you want me to never move, why do you want me to come back, why would it be fun if i went to college near you, why would you care if you never saw me again... the only reason i've come up with is that they feel bad for me. 010105 ... Agent008 cant i be a kid forever 010118 ... MullinSkiDerry all of a sudden-I am weak sauce out of a broken bottle I can toss Not my salad, unless u kiss ass 2 ur boss And now you must die Mr. Bond 010201 ... fallen hero Never means nothing Never means everything Never means you and me Never means we can't be Never may never come Never may never be Never may be forever 010301 ... katie a thunder call above a mountain high a fire ball is lighting up the sky a voodoo doll is singing songs of why some echoes (some echoes) never stop arriving some echoes (some echoes) never stop arriving why? again, i wonder why, i wonder why, again why? i again wonder why i again wonder i wonder why, you wander by i wonder why you wander by string passing through passing through you 010331 ... 13lue why do people put such a label on cutting and people who do it? 010409 ... ladybird I don't think there is a why. I think that's half the fun. Walk home in the warm rain at 3am just cuz - then you'll understand. 010514 ... forever why do you love her when you know nothing is going to happen. Why do you still hope. I am giving you my love and i don't know why. but you don't want it, you don't want me to love you, you want her, you don't even know that i love you but i do 010531 ... idiot boy when i knew you wouldn't come back when i knew it was over i asked you why i did everything else on your terms i deserved at least to know 010531 ... forever why do you have to hurt her like you are. Can't you see what you are missing. can't you see what you are giving up and only becuase you don't want to hurt the other one. but which one would you rather hurt. becuse no matter what you are hurting one of them 010613 ... nocturnal at work why is no one around whenever I'm on? this is getting old, people! 010614 ... jackie adam why is it like this? why when i finally find someone, he is uninterested in me. why? because life sucks like that. 010614 ... kingsuperspecial because nobody told me not too. 010615 ... fallenhero why does it keep hurting? why do i let it tear me apart? salt to the wound, that's you. over and over, i must be stupid. i let you return, welcome you with open arms, and parties with baloons and streamers and confetti. why do i subject myself to the evils of your heart? 010617 ... im nobody who r u r u nobody 2 ? why do I love him when he's a stupid idiot who doesn't care about me and tells me lies? just because. well i've stopped communicating with him so he can just go fish. or something. 010730 ... Inanna Why did I paint a picture of three azure shadows wading in a flowing river ? 010831 ... thedunator Why can't I just stop feeling this way. It's stupid and does not make any sense. I just want this to stop. I want to be over everything. 010923 ... wounded yes,why? guess all those years must have only been lies...? I cried. Now I'll try to live life... 011003 ... venetian blinds because people keep poking me in the eyes, that's why 011003 ... NeLoRa why the fuck does she hate me so goddamn much?! she doesn't say anything directly, but it's so painfully obvious that she can't even stand to be in my presence. maybe it was the Turret's Syndrome comment. How the hell was I supposed to know she had it?! but if that's not it, then why? dumb californian bitch. 011003 ... Toxic_Kisses The one question my parents dreaded hearing when I was younger... even now its still my fave. question 011009 ... tottaly numb Why? Why did you hurt me, When you said You loved me? Is this how you treat the ones You love? It shouldn't