mother
andrew@benicetobears.com fucker. someone had to say it. 980819
...
dallas oh, mother. I'm gonna take your daughter out tonight. I'm gonna show her my world. Oh, mother. 981027
...
daxle "mother do you think they'll tear your little boy apart?" 990517
...
David I should have gotten "Mother" tattoed on my ankle. (sigh) 990927
...
some guy Why do we take them for granted??? 991107
...
Gigo Loma i sure as hell don't want to have sex with her, freud can kiss my effin' ass. 991107
...
jennifer as she runs circles around me, frantically doing one thing or another, I have sporadic bursts of conversation with her

and I realize that it has been that way for some time
991215
...
mott man i wish i was your mother, i wish i'd been your father, cause then I would have seen you - would have been you as a child... 000120
...
oodles She didn't just give birth to me...she gave life to me. There is a significant difference. I think I'll call her and thank her. You should too. 000218
...
Brad why are ordinary things, when said by our mothers, for some reason automatically transformed into things so corny that we want to be physically ill? The phenomenon is uncanny. Just think about when it is combined with a phrase that actually IS corny or antiquated... let the barf-o-rama commence. 000312
...
WoNDERGIRL mother?
are you there?
I love you.
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel..

and now
as wondergirl
i miss her somehow
that wonderful person
she was
when i was littler
and innocenter
000521
...
bebop Looking at goldfish makes me think about what it would feel like to be born tomorrow... maybe everything around me is just a womb providing for evolved needs until I become something that I have yet to be? Well... isn't it obvious? 000808
...
Becca she with the greatest importance in the life of a child - who can do the greatest damage when love is absent. 001112
...
pope john lithgow IV this too is true 001112
...
cat^.^ hard to talk about 'cuz she screwed me up bad..but should I thank that bi-polar bitch or pity her when all that pain comes out on canvas??? 001229
...
my Mumma is nice but she don't really know me.

shes got skin like silk.
is your mama nice?
mines a freak. I want to teach her how to break dance, butt she don't get it.

set. like stone.

Mumma Mumma, will you cook me a nice meal. Mumma Mumma Mumma Mumma your driving me up the wall.

don't tell her too much,
it's easier that way,
they won't phone you every 10 minutes.

god dam it.
fucking fucking fucking too good to me .

its annoying, but i feel bad 4 sayin' it.
010416
...
like rain. she winked at me when i left the car, and somehow i knew that burger king breakfasts and rides to school were the tip of the iceberg in her heart, even if she has trouble understanding sometimes, even if she can't accept my love. 010511
...
marissa mother, mother hows the family? im just calling to say hello. hows the weather? hows my father? am i lonely? heavens no. mother, mother are you listening? just a phone call to ease your mind. life is perfect, never better.. distance making the heart grow blind. when you sent me off to see the world, were you scared that i might get hurt? would i try a little tobacco? would i keep on hiking up my skirt? im hungry, im dirty, im losing my mind, everythings fine! im freezing, im starving, im bleeding to death, everythings fine! 010603
...
nanny i'm 21 and still call her mommy 010909
...
soul I love my mum, i just don't like giving her the satisfaction of the fact that i'm using her advice. And do i really love her? Sometimes she just really pisses me off. Can't with with em, can't live without em.

My mother and me are so different.

I think i'm going to be me growing up by myself and calling her every few years or so to tell her i'm fine. exactly.
010926
...
spooky fish (waiting for the worms) will she break my heart? 010926
...
niai The thing you grow to hate
The love you won't forget
-----
||Siouxsie and the Banshees||
011005
...
Inanna I am 011005
...
distorted tendencies Mutter. 011006
...
yes. Well the telephone is ringing,
Is that my mother on the phone?
Telephone is ringing,
Is that my mother on the phone?
The telephone is screaming,
Won't she leave me alone?
The telephone is ringing,
Is that my mother on the phone?

Well every girl that I go out with
Becomes my mother in the end.
Every girl I go out with
Becomes my mother in the end.
Well I hear my mother calling,
But I don't need her as a friend.
Well every girl I go out with
Becomes my mother in the end.

Oh, Oh mother
Oh mother dear please listen
And don't devour me.
Oh mother dear please listen
Don't devour me.
Oh women please have mercy
Let this poor boy be.
Oh mother dear please listen
And don't devour me.
Oh mother......

Well the telephone is ringing
Is that my mother on the phone?
Telephone is ringing
Is that my mother on the phone?

Oh mother.........................

------The Police
011006
...
kerry i'd like to say i like you

can't
want to
can't

the video recorder was running and i thought i might throw up when they all gasped and i felt like the devil incarnate
"well, i LOVE her, but no, i don't LIKE her"
thank god you weren't there to see me
and the teacher's eyes got big and then i thought the world collapsed on me
they all thought i was

evil
011206
...
EMO I fucking hate them!!!! I swweear to fucking god i hope they die!!!! i fucking hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them. Both mother fuckers they are such fucking cocksuckers its un fuccking belieaveable. All i want to do is get the fuck out of this house!!! Iwant to live on my own I want to start my own job doing something i enjoy doing. I will NEVER !!! follow in either of their footsteps. They are fucking sappy assed losers anyways. i fucking hate them i fucking hate them i fucking hate them i fucking hate them i fucking hate them i fucking hate them. Fuck you mom Fuck you Dad . GO TO HELL YOU FAT FUCKER!!!!! I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!!!!! DAMNIT! FUCK YOU FUCKER!!!! I HATE YOU! 011206
...
FUCK THEM IM NOT DONE YET. OKAY I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU MOM I FUCKING HATE YOU DAD I FUCKING HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YHOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
THERE JUST NEED A CIGGARETTE NOW.
011206
...
Paramour Mother.....you've killed me. 020103
...
psychobabe mom i hate you and i love you. More love tho cuz your my mother. Without you i wouldnt be here. I love you so much but when i talk sometimes i cant help but make everything i say sound horrible. Really i do love you mom and at times i want to run up to you and hug you till my pain goes away. Maybe someday soon when i get over my stupidity and self loathing i will be able to do it 020103
...
ClairE "I love my mother."

"Yes. I think my mother is my favorite person in the world."

"Dude, you should go tell her that."

"She's asleep. I don't think she would appreciate it."
020104
...
broken_down girl is beginning to hold finances over my head as an excuse to treat me like shit.

"If I was a working paid employee for the business who could just walk away whenever I wanted, I don't think you'd treat me like this."

"That's probably true. But I'm paying you allowance every week and your college so there's really nothing you can do."
020321
...
youinquired the one retrospective person who believes nothing of what you intend to say, culminating on embers of her own fires, repressing the stick throwers until all is left on a pile of rag doll melodies. 020428
...
Patty I'm always worried about my mom.
She's really sick. And she is always in pain.





it makes me sad.
020515
...
phil I don't want to have any kids, I wonder what she thinks about that. 020515
...
a b for the m....amused it's like i'm holding my breath, being held to the floor by you and your husband. Having my hair pulled by two different hands as two more try to shove pills into my body then every so often a hand just comes down out of nowhere and slaps me across the face...

oh wait, that was last night.
I am obviously completely 'out of control'


you forget i don't owe you shit because your ass only picked me up after nine months, i woulda slapped you had i seen you coming...
020617
...
swarm why do you repeatedly speak of me as if i was one of them? telling me how i don't want anything to do with you because it's not cool to be around you? one of them as in the stereotype of my age-group, what if i replied no its not the fact of "whos Cool?" like it was in your day as a child, its the fact that I don't like what you like, it's not me,im trying to let you down softly but im not your image, im not the image you have of me or want me to be. your reply="Don't be so rude" in the end your only defintion of rude is what your mother told you? 020619
...
Freak she's dead too 020621
...
coolz The Star in my sun. 020909
...
SuicidalAngel I haven't seen my mother in ten years because when my dad won costody, she stopped talking to me.. well I ran into her Sunday and may possibly again this coming weekend. We didn't say a word to eachother at the time, but I'd like to say something to her now. I'm really not angry at all and feel a little strange just saying hi.. anyone have any ideas of what I could say? 021008
...
minnesota_chris my advice, tell her what you feel. But put it in a letter (or maybe an email) instead of calling or face to face. I think it'd be easier to have your say.

Also don't forget to say you love her or you're proud of her, or that you miss her, or that you want her in your life. If any of those are true. Far too often those phrases go unsaid.
021008
...
minnesota_chris p.s. you never said why you were moving to NY? 021008
...
SuicidalAngel Thanks Chris, yeah I might actually do that. It would be much easier writing her a letter, and I think I would let her know that I'd like her in my life and I am not angry. Yay good idea! 021009
...
minnesota_chris I am really nice. You should visit me! We could go to the Abominable Mega Mall, if you haven't been yet. 021010
...
SuicidalAngel Mall of America? Yeah I've been there a few times. It's pretty fucking cool. That would be cool but I'd have no way of getting there. 021118
...
gay gizmo that was really sweet chris 021119
...
minnesota_chris Thank you! I feel a lot of times like I'm shouting into a big void. Maybe I should do an ask_Chris. But since I'm not a doctor, maybe I should just make it "ask_somebody_nice". Then again, Jane already has a column. 021119
...
kitty i used to *HATE* my mom when i was a teenager. i thought she was the fucking nazi devil. now that i'm a little older and i've already done all the things i'm not supposed to, me and my mom get along really well, and i'm glad she's there for me. 021119
...
the godfather my mum seriously stresses me sometimes. and there are so many things about her that annoy me. but i still love her. as much as i hate her sometimes, i still couldnt live without her. so yeah. thats me. 021216
...
anezka i was driving in the car and something in the song and the air made me think of my mother. it filled me with such a powerful yearning that i called out to god for a sign from her.. and suddenly a van pulled out next to me on this otherwise empty street and on the back window was a sticker that said only "mom." as i started to cry, heavy rain started to fall, and i was so filled with joy that my tears stopped.. and so did the rain. 030318
...
catherine my mom rocks my world. 030321
...
User24 whenever I say this word, I have to say it in the accent from Psycho.

"Motherrrr?"

Muahahaha...
030515
...
superstrings mother, do you think they'll like this song? 030515
...
cold comfort for change did it need to be so high? 030515
...
god it's ok. relax. 030530
...
shivers means nothing, its the person that raised u. mom 030530
...
megan too polite of a name
mom
mommy
she held me when i cried
she listened when i needed to spill
she was my beginning
030530
...
Lia She loves me, I love her. Caring, softness, warmth, nurturing, that is my mother. Sometimes sharp, never hurtful. Like what a hug would look like if it were a person... 030619
...
me "paradise lies at your mother's feet" 030624
...
Meighan My mother. My friend, my enemy. My laughter, my tears. My happieness, my pain. My inspiration my Mother.


I love you mom :p
030728
...
etoiles your mother suffers from..(something)-by-proxy.
i can now eliminate an almost inifinite number of words by saying that i believe it starts with an "m".
miranda?
silly!
that's the rights.
you have the right to remain silent.
you have the right not be read your rights and then be arrest.
you have the right to waste your time.
you have the right to go to engineering camp.
and you have the right to get up and go to sleep.
and the right to write like ernest hemingway and the right to finish stories and the right to have your bum squeezed.
you have the right to be a senior with responsibilities and an equivalent right to be a senior without them. you also have the right to make typos. and make mistakes.
you have the right to know the president and then the right to grin about it for a few minutes. you have the right to know that "all at once" does not imploy one man performing these three tasks but rather konwing two seperate inviduals who have held such posts.
and the right to know they still have society standing to the *n*th degree in such situations.
anything you say can an dwill be used against you.
or quoted.
or ridiculed at a later date.
(what the fuck are you talking about?)
030901
...
oldephebe ...and the baby tastes the milk
grow bitter on the vine
the bumped his head
and waddled all around
no one to soothe his
groaning, wilting spirit no one to touch his implacable ache
you
who should have been my
nurture became my wound
a living tapestry
of torture - genious of
the fire-rain
you know just where to bruise me
where others cannot see
you know just which words to choose
to make me breathe the blue
the baby taste the milk grow
bitter on the vine
the baby fell down
and lost his mind
tell me something
tender
about me
tell somethin true
somethin' you can't use
to tie my tongue down
and i always wanted to be
the good son
the kind one
but ya make it
so hard for me
to love you
accents of antipathy
upon which you suckled me
could you
would you
tell me somethin' tender about me
lately dearest
mother of mine
their seems to be
a disquieting dissonance
to the words we mime to one another
a frayed jagged edge to every
empty phrase
and long ago
i stopped looking
for a mothers love
to step into this space
and i can't
bring my self to say
all is forgiven
and Father Defalco says
to let the gentleness
of the lord be
my answer to this rage
so turn the page
it'll melt grieving heart
but father you don't know a damn
thing about being born to a
black and loveless womb
the child of blight
learned long ago to stand alone
tell me
tell me
something
tender about me
mother 'cause it seems
all you bring
is the bitter
tell me somethin' tender
aw damn that
it's too late
i don't think your
words of remorse hissed
through gritted teeth could
could touch me anyway
let this gavel that
governs our love
come down hard upon
our heads
tell me tell me
somethin' bitter
about me
'cause you see
that's all there is
between you and me
i did it
i told the tale
in shades of grya
and night
and you color the air
any way you want to
but that won't bring
my love back to life
so bring on the bitter
and we'll sit and shiver
see i impoverished myself
to find redemption in your eyes
a man could find more or less
the same thing
staring into the eye of hell
bring on the bitter
tell nothing was ever
tender between
you and me
030901
...
etoiles oedipus and the motherfuckers would be a really awesome band name. if you decide to use it, please just give me a nod.
i'm happy to be a contributing factor to the hungry cynicism and downward spiral of humanity.
030913
...
oldephebe man, that was harsh, but then the relentless excavations of the imperial matriarchy is an infinite universe of bruised hues and masterfully, ruthlessly executed machinations..some though, are an elegant finesse of treason, justating for years, planned and planted in the early innocent soil of uour yearning heart(s)..and then when the time is ripe, when she feels she's exhausted every other avenue to your egos obliteration, she calls unto that which has been tenderly nourished, that wich has slumbered only to be awakened at this time..yeah

the manipulations and wiles..you will never search out all it's chambered frailities and fury..

it is best to efficiently, sever all tethers to her despotisms, gentlemen this can also be transposed to the conquests of a mans will while he labors under the illusion that he has conquered the marital or relationships or trysts, or illicit interludes, or quid pro quo - in short splattering his seed and his advantage in the pursuit of putting his thing down

nothing personal ladies, but the male minds limited imagination of gamesmanship is like a flickering firefly against a star's retinal obliterating luminosity, compared to the
unmeasure potentialities of a womans stricken ire..

it doesn't matter the age, or the page, or the part you think you might be playing..master of the game..take some time to get schooled gentlemen before you get played..or flayed..

a gamers (don't want to assign a pejorative gender value - gamesters come in all genders and shades so watch and observe measure your words, your responses so you don't get played) ire, vengeance, crouches in the dark, and springs forward in ways that won't percieved until the cut has ben made over and over again, a gamer is differently constituted..so gentlemen or ladies get schooled so you won't get bruised..learn the signs, learn the moves..I'm hardly the one to do any schooling, but why wait and let life dope slap you, why not arm yourself in advance?

seek out the elders or the precocious and preciently wise, or learn on your're own by tuning your perceptions to a different frequency or vibe..couldn't really tell you where to start, but everyone here has thier own infinite source of inspiration and wisdom..

this was only supposed to be a few quickly typed lines..i don't intend any offense towards anyone..just trying to share a little..
030913
...
misstree i got lucky, i guess,
because i didn't really know her that well;
not like most kids know their parents,
who spend more than one day a week,
every other weekend,
and half the summer with someone.
familial familiarity does not conform to
schedules, numbers, dates,
parenting in pieces.

so my mother was always a little bit of a stranger,
someone i tolerated telling me what to do
and even looked up to, in my saner moments.
there was no clinging suffocation,
no fight to establish my own identity,
no bitter curses for being a burden.
my father was there but not,
custody won, for what?
my warden, my teacher, but not much more.

so when the time came to break, to
sever the ties that kept me in the nest,
i found that there wasn't much there at all.

nowadays,
i've realized that my mother is
wonderful, that she is wise and caring and
that she knows she can't shove, she can only guide,
and she's someone whom i'm very happy
to have in my life,
all placental coincidences aside.
030925
...
oldephebe i liked that.."all placental coincidence aside"

nicely done..but yeah you were just being real..so i guess no need for my compulsive appraisal..still though..some of your phraseology is pretty nifty..
...
030925
...
misstree thanky. :) i've always liked strange turns of phrase... it makes the brain linger a moment, allows you to carry more than a cliche.

this one was actually inspired by you, too, contemplating the hell that must be an overbearing and alien mother, trying to wrap my brain around it but my brain kept jumping back in nervous revulsion. it really bothers me to think of being locked into a family with people that are of that other species, the one that makes me slink back into the shadows so they can't see my light, can't try to slap a price tag and a social value on it. i would say i feel for you, but i really can't bring myself to the point of empathy.

vent anytime, 'phebe. i like poking at things that i have aversions to. :)
030925
...
oldephebe man misstree i so dig your honesty..loved that line about i would say i feel for you but i can't bring myself anywhere close to empathy..that was so frank and open..

here's something..i want to reach into my mothers mouth and repudiate every word ever whelped there..and watch her howl into hell dopplering down her desolation..that was harsh..yes..yes it was..but i've rarely allow my mother to see any emotion from these days..when she starts her silliness i just tactfully..truncate the game..or line of questioning or..converstaion..i speak to her like i would any adult..i've always shown her a constrained respect..a kind of vague promise i made to my father once..

i love my mother with every thing in me..it's just sealed in layers of prophylactic..its got to be that way..

any way back to the fact that there's a real intriguiging vive that runs through most of your writing..it is one of the more unique voices her in blathahdom..sort of like how you can always recognize a Dave Mathews tune by the 2nd or 3rd beat..

i get the feeling that you have consumed gigabytes of knowledge..and some of it not through books or rote recitation or inculcation..some of it through a kind of transferance..a kind of cognitive and intuitive predisposition to ..

sometimes i feel like my relationship with my mother was carried to the grave yard when i was 4 or 5..there was always something unkind burning in her eyes towards, me..i think though in a way she was a little intimidated by my twin (fraternal - sister) who looks just like my maternal grandmother..i'm look like my pop (a mullatto) with a nice tan and my twin..we don't even look related..we don't even look like we ever lived in the same neighboorhood.. heh heh..i love my sister with my life though..she is artistic and creative and was writing brilliant poetry at the age of 10 or eleven..brilliant..she had more creation in her pinky finger than i have in my whole body..

so misstree..thanks for being so honest and i really can't put into words..well how about that..me and my flailing tongue stopped up..i wanted someone to break me off with a little truth and you came thru..yep

conversations free of connivance..free of frilly lattices of obfuscation..free of the fallacy of these absurdly expected dances that we do..societal pieties..be polite and what evr you do don't say what you really think..i want a little subtly bruising truth..one that will grow into its clarity..one that will etch itself into the gift that was bequeathed upon its utterance...only some are too surface to perceive..it..

Light..Truth..we are all thronging to the quest..in our own inimitable ways..sometimes we just wander..or stumble right into it..that's always the best way for me..
...
030926
...
s3an M*Malice
O*Oh so detestable
T*Terrible
H*Hateable
E*Ever so annoying
R*Rotten
thus the result of a homophibic mother
031122
...
smurfus rex she's my Queen. 031122
...
endless desire Gigo Loma-- " i sure as hell don't want to have sex with her, freud can kiss my effin' ass."

oh my god that was funny.
i needed something to laugh at.
thank you blatherskite.
031122
...
a girl with nothing to say fucker!!!! 031123
...
r1y9a6n4 never knew her and still dont. has been in my life for its entirety but still cant say that i know her all too well. 031125
...
oldephebe looking back on my last two post..especially my last post to this page..i am ashamed at what i have writtien about the woman who gave me life..sure biological imperative and all that..but..i think i need to move past that..i do love my mother, dearly..and i can accept what passed between us but i am still furious over how she wounded 3 of my sisters, and brother and nephews..however they were/are still able to love her and there is an intimacy there that i knwo i can never have with her..and i don't quite understand why..i guess it's because i read her aura so strongly and i refuse to accept her for the person she will always be..she's incredibly strong and has endured much in her life..from a very young age she learned she had to impose her will upon this Life in order to survive. Mother..I do love you..and I don't know what I'll do when the Lord carries you home to His eternal busom..but i guess i need to grow more..or humble myself..or become more intimately aquianted with God's compassionate, forgiving heart. I hope you can forgive me for my reticense.. 031126
...
delial without you, I fear I'll stay a child, wandering down a black hall with my blanket and bear, calling your name until my end comes as well.

it seems as if you're the one person who understands me at all, probably because you've known me and have been near me longer than anyone else in my life. you're also a very perceptive person.

some things i'd rather not speak about
but they'll come, regardless

it makes me cry just to let the thought cross my mind, but i have to look it in the eye in order to grow up enough to deal with it when the time comes...but it's so easy to run and hide from it.
031126
...
oldephebe i'd look at the tireless maternal ministrations of some of my friends moms' you know?..even some of my aunts and wonder what's up with my mom? someone said mercy comes from the womb..to me..i guess it was like thrashing around in the black waters of a toxic tomb...we came intothis owrld to become the surrogate of her spite... 040223
...
boogie fuck your mother. 040226
...
oldephebe Ampèreheure ! Voici maintenant un esprit que j'aimerais le mettre
d'aplomb est des profondeurs sybillines ! Mon Dieu ! Une telle clarté
du mépris ! Méchanceté aussi implacable que le marbre non coupé.
Enseignez-moi à profane avec une telle alacrité de mercure.
040227
...
ethereal that's all you are.
A title.

I can't even be in the same room with you anymore.

I'm a pungent ooze and you're peroxide.

Is that it?
040410
...
x twisted x i hope someday i fall in love and have children. its really the only stellar dream i have anymore..to be a mother. 040412
...
Dosquatch Dig, if you will, the picture
Of you and I engaged ina kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you, darling, can you picture this?

Dream, if you can, a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They can feel the heat,
the heat between me and you.

How can you just leave me standing
Alone in a world that's so cold?
Maybe I'm just too demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold
Maybe you're just like my mother,
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
when doves cry.
040420
...
Lisa I wish you were still you and would stop this wicked game... you already destroyed everything around you. and now go, go and live your new life, but leave us alone... and stop fighting, because I know you are, and I know you want it.

but you have me close to turning away from you for ever.. and the sad thing is that you maybe don't even notice..
040515
...
photographed by the human eye I'm so glade im in your arms and under your winds. thank you for everything you have done for me. thank you for putting be through hell to realize what i have lost in love, life, and memories 040616
...
death i hate your guts, why did u have 2 c the cuts on my wrist? why do u make me go 2 counsilling when u no i loathe it? 040722
...
brian I love my mother. But, is there something about this layout that makes us all speak in rhythm and rhyme about them?

Apparently.
041107
...
yotipo91 Although it seems apparent you hate me, I love you, I know you love me to, but I want you to know,

You made me be,
And that you are a special part of me. I'm glad you built my brain and strength
I will use my power to its length.
You gave me hope when I had none left, you also let me down when you saw a threat.
You were also with me, my whole life through, I want you to know that I want to be a part of you.
I want you to know you made me be, and that you are a special part of me.

I love you mom.
050909
...
Ydalmi She hates me. Seriously. She said it and thought I didn't hear. 051111
...
Isaac She who does her best, even if her best is failure. 071221
...
olive the reason men love women is that men love there mothers.
they want to be inside the womb again...
and they wan't to have the feeling of having a nipple between their lips again.
081001
...
niecespieces Today I realized for the first completly solid time that my mother does not love me. She complains and complains but I guess I have never really paid attention.
I want a bigger house,
I want millions of dollars,
I hate my body,
You dont care...
She says and says and says and says.
Really though, we have money. A bigger house would not make it be clean, but some effort would. Our house is not flawless but I thought it to be a home. Apparently life is replaceable. Family means nothing, only material possesions do.
If I could just win the lottery, then I would move out and have a nice, perfect, clean house. And I could travel.
Sold. She just sold me the fact that a house is worth more than her daughter, husband, and life.
Why? Why does it make any sense for money (which barely even exists) to be more valuable than the human which she created, and the human which she created another human with.
090523
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Raina all I want is more of her time 130530
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tail-devouring snake You let yourself be bullied, you hide what's true and real for you, because you are so deathly afraid of being left alone, left behind. 140310
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motherless "...and YOU. I don't care what happens to you. I don't care if I ever talk to you again."

so brutal, her words.
The shock of it, the hurt,
the unfairness rammed my heart
like a stake...

and as I stood there shaking,
reeling, all I could say anymore,
so done, so done with her was
"fine, you no longer have a daughter".

out the door I went, never to look
back.

Then the years hit me.
Decades of caring for her,
being her defender when everyone
else was done with her...
always there to listen to her troubles
and woes, though I knew they were
self created.
Nonetheless I cared.
Even though never did she ask me,
"how are you?", I always listened.

And it was all for nothing.
full circle to zero.

She told me of things my Dad said of me
before he died...
she riled a campaign against me,
while I was off at work, innocent, oblivious.

What mother does this to her young?

:(

I no longer invite pain into my life.
I no longer communicate
with those who do not listen.

Love is a gift meant to me cherished.

Goodbye.
140414
what's it to you?
who go
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from