sweet_little_asian_girl Sonya I'm told that I should keep quiet while you undress me with your eyes You want to put me in some silk robe and make me wear bright red lipstick I'm just a toy to play with and satisfy your fetish My pleasure, and my desires are always second to yours I'm told that I should be feminine and I should be delicate and pure You call me "china doll" one minute and the next you call me "chink bitch" I'm just some dirty immigrant, or am I? I'm also supposed to be studious and sweet I'm supposed to be hardworking and not put up a fight I'm just your sweet little Asian girl I'm the supposed female incarnation of complacency that helps you sleep better at night I have no representation to look up to like the other girls Barbie isn't me and never was nor ever will be You've asked me why I have almond eyes as if I had control over it You say that my olive skin is repulsive And still to you I'm just the sweet little Asian girl You only know of the Chinese and no one else You fail to see my other qualities and backgrounds I'm just the sweet little Asian girl you can push around Well I hate to break it to you but this girl has a lot more to her And maybe, just maybe if you took the time to see what lies inside this sweet little Asian girl you'd see You'd see that you might just enjoy being around me 011107 ... unhinged "do you have any asian in your background?" 011107 ... ilovepatsajak my best friend is korean and i hate going out with her because guys stare at her so much and it makes me sick. and my dad looks at asian porn, so i hate being with him and her at the same time. it's becoming some kind of trend. like that annoying lesbian thing. 011108 ... ilovepatsajak asiaphiles 011108 ... Sonya The whole "Asian" trend is pissing me off. It's mostly because I'm Asian and I have some guys staring at me but not in the normal way. It's kind of creepy you know?? And they aren't even my age, a lot of them are OLDER and creepier....they want that asian schoolgirl thing...damn pedophiles. Anyway, the thing is that it's kind of flattering but mostly not because our potential is dumbed down. We are nothing more than some little doll to play with. That is what really pisses me off. I don't mind people liking the way I look, but if that's all they like about me, or that's all they want from me, or if that's all they expect me to be, I WILL be pissed. 011108 ... ilovepatsajak it pisses me off too because now i am jealous of asian girls haha. just kidding. but it really does need to stop, you have the right to be angry. 011108 ... Rickster Forget what you know for it is little, Remember that each of us has a heart that is very brittle, You must understand that people don't always know, How to explain how they feel and how to tell you what they know, You must be accepting of the small things they do, Even if they seem evil and and sometimes shrew, Love is but a bitter battle, It doesn't take much to get on the saddle, Learn to find the things that make a difference, Be honest with yourself and take none of it, If you cannot find what you so desire within the one you have, Then end it now and remember you gave it everything you had, Time will heal the wounds they create, So deep, so painful they seem to be, But yet we move on like nothing can stop, Because thats how simple life can be, Start over and think of why you love the one you do, Make sure you understand that love is a precious thing, So much to understand and such a slow process of learning, Where do we place the ones we love among our hearts, Is it somewhere that others could see from the start, Perhaps they see it and toy with us to cause the pain, But maybe your just taking it to hard and crying yourself to sleep in vain, If you cannot live with the one you hold dear, Then pack your bags, throw em in the back and put the fucking car in gear. 021226 ... Jess I'm Chinese 100% although born & raised in UK. I still know Cantonese. I have something to say too. I fucking hate those men who are like, over the age of...50-something, looking at me while I go out shopping. It makes me feel so sick that I just wanna go out there and kill them damn pedo, rapers, molsters etc... Why do people do these things? Why don't they just carry on a normal fucking life instead of doing those "things." Sick bastards... Wonderful poem above all. It captures what girls think and feel about people giving them looks or something 031109 ... magicforest damnthemallme 031124 ... Lemon_Soda Okay... No one anywhere has the right to tell anyone where they can or cannot point their eyes. No one anywhere has the right to tell anyone what they can and cannot think. Do not get angry at someone for finding you attractive because of the way you look. Its a compliment. They most likely haven't even had the oppurtunity to get to know you yet. Get angry when they start pushing the subject or subjecting you to their opinion when you'd rather not hear it. Am I supposed to walk around with a blindfold on until I've had a meaningful conversation with every woman I meet? Can I magically turn off the part of my brain that makes me find women beautiful or attractive? Do I control my subconcious reactions so well? Is there anybody on the planet who is capable of having sex that has NOT fantasized about somebody while looking at them? Everybody is meat to someone. Of course there are extremes. 50 year old whoevers don't need to be looking at anyone in the lower age groups, just like 14 yearolds don't need to be masturbating to a 35 year old actress' photo. People like sex. People people will fantasize about sex with certain people. People some times think of people as playmates and sex toys. But even if the rest of the whole friggin world thinks so, that doesn't mean you are. You are what you think you are. You stand where you stand, not where someone else says you do. I'm sorry there are pedophiles out there. I'm sorry alot guys have a drooling problem. And I'm sorry you find it annoying that your attractive enough to have this problem. But unless your a nun(even then its not over yet), expect someone on the street to look at you and want to have sex with you. It's going to happen. Where you take it from there is up to you, but I've never understood why people get upset at the way other people think when in all likely hood your just going to walk past the guy and never see him again anyway. As for this sweet little asian girl thing, thats just one of a million stereotypes of sexual playmates. Some people like same sex, somepeople want a virgin husband, some people want a gal with huge feet. Until as a culture on the whole we decide to filter this sensual/perversive attitude out, everyone is going to have to deal with this. And by the looks of it, I really don't think we're going to drop our number one selling point for the moral minority. 031124 ... misstree holy sh*t soda! righton! everyone is meat, everyone is an object, starting raising a fit only if you actually interact with someone and they fail to shift their perspectivometer to "real human being." until then, deal with it or blind yourself to avoid the inherent hypcorisy. also, beauty's_curse floated back to recent mammary from this page. other side of the coin, i suppose, but it's the same coin. 031124 ... Piso Mojado at the LA Times festival of books one year, walking the ucla campus, got a sticker: angry_little_asian_girl 031124 ... oldephebe objectification sucks! as a guy who grew up with four sisters each with varying shades and bodily, facial attributes..I became very sensitive towards what a hassle it was for them sometimes. Without my mom or anyone of them prompting or inculcating me, i kinda had a sensitivity towards how to respectfully regard a female. but yeah the whole asian thing is an object of obsession amongst some guys...personally i think all women are beautiful and i think our pornographic, misogynistic culture fans the fires of predators, pedophiles and closet mysogonists..yeah me a guy..saying this..i've consoled far too many friends in college whose dates got a little drunk and carried away..it sucks. Fathers and if not fathers then Mothers have got to have a serious grab you buy the hair talk with their young lions swelling with testosterone and sexual curiosity, desire. We've got to set these boys straight and help them to cultivate discipline and empathy and not wait until they are 15 or 16 or about to leave for college. 031124 ... ClairE L_S, I don't even understand what you are answering to. Did you see what Sonya said before you ever blathed? Sonya I'm Asian and I have some guys staring at me but not in the normal way. It's kind of creepy you know?? And they aren't even my age, a lot of them are OLDER and creepier....they want that asian schoolgirl thing...damn pedophiles. Anyway, the thing is that it's kind of flattering but mostly not because our potential is dumbed down. We are nothing more than some little doll to play with. That is what really pisses me off. I don't mind people liking the way I look, but if that's all they like about me, or that's all they want from me, or if that's all they expect me to be, I WILL be pissed. 011108 I really don't understand where your outburst came from because I don't see who told you where to "point your eyes". If there is something specific that triggered it, I would love to know where it is. But saying that anyone who does not want to be objectified as a stereotype has no right to get angry just doesn't fly. People who are into this idea of the sweet little Asian girl don't find them attractive as human beings or females. It is just some perverted distortion in their heads that dehumanizes the person he is viewing. You may see it as a simple case of attraction, but it stems from something rotten and evil. 031124 ... ClairE He/she, my_bad! How heterosexist and man_hating of me! 031124 ... Lemon_Soda Your upset because somebody somewhere thinks of little asian girls and gets a boner without taking the time to think to themselves "gosh, I wonder what her favorite hobbies are?". I've never seen someone so wrapped up in someone elses opinion. Especially someone you've never met nor have any plans of seeking out. Your making it sound like an army of perverts is marching through the streets grabbing little asian girls by the hoardes and buttering their bread with a butcher knife. Your aware that the age of consent is 13 in alot of eastern countries, right? Their train of thought is exceptable to more people than live in THIS country. Not MY bag of tea, I assure you, but it kinda puts things in perspective. Maybe one of us isn't looking past their own nose. As for what I said in my earlier post, it applies perfectly. Perhaps the wading pool was a bit deep, so I'll drain it down to a sentence. Those pedophiles opinions about your lack of use aside from sex only applies to you when you let it. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you'd prefer to walk down the street looking over your shoulder for drooling old men holding their canes a bit to firmly. Or perhaps it pleases you to fixate on thoughts of older men treating you as such. Go ahead. Let it fester and boil in your heart. String that sword with a fine thread and stand under it. See how many dates you get. If you believe that thought patterns like this arn't going to severely cramp your ability to get close to ANYONE, you sorely mistaken. If you want to lable me an asshole, feel free. Its worth it if I can pierce just one of your minds with the thought that your worth more than what a non-descript pervert has to think of you. 031127 ... magicforest Don't worry so much. It really doesn't matter what they think you are. You know better than they do. And if you don't know better than they do, You'll never believe it anyway. 031127 ... notme across_the_sea 031127 ... . . 031129 ... Lemon_Soda er...yay. Basically. Sorry, bit long winded on that one... 031201 ... pipedream yay for oE, well done *thumbs up* but i will also say that lemon, you're being a little harsh here- being ogled/leched at by *anyone* IS creepy and horrible; whether you're asian or not, male or female. its not about whether you know them or not, or caring what they think- it's just that nobody wants to be icked out by *anyone* like that, and have all the right to voice their distaste, just as you do in your defense. 031201 ... seventeen well. its nice that I'm a girl, and not a very creepy one...and I'm allowed to think sweet little asian girls (that are my age or older) are cute and that japanese fashion and japanese stationary and novelty is great...and that there are about ten million asian girls at my school (japanese, mostly) that are super smart, well rounded, pretty, nice, fun, and...everything...and I'm in between being jealous and lusting. yep. 031202 ... Lemon_Soda I'm not sayiing it isn't creepy and I'm not saying you don't have a right to be upset by it. Infact, if something is making you feel that bad, scream it loud and clear. Perhaps I was a bit TO roundabout with it, but what I'm trying to get at is tell THEM what jerks their being and DON'T walk around fixating on it. I believe I already stated earlier in this blath that old men don't need to be drooling over Calven Kline Jr. adds. But getting upset about it and not DOING anything about does exactly that: Nothing. Now I'm not saying these things because I think I can boss you around and order you what to think. I'm giving advice. Its incredibly unhealthy to entertain thoughts like that because pretty soon even the sweetest old Grandpa is going to bare the brunt of the thought pattern. I bet half the time you think this is going on its just in your head and your creating a stereotype in your head that will get stronger and stronger until you don't trust anybody of an older age. I'm sorry if I'm coming off a little harsh as you put it, but its just that important to me that people don't start suspecting malevolence out of hand. Nobody gets along when everyone suspects everyone of such things. Do something to solve your problem, not add to it. 031202 ... pipedream yep, you have an absolutely valid point there, but what *can* you do? sock every ogler? i agree that it isn't fair to stereotype anyone, but i suppose it all boils down to if-you-stereotype-me-you-get-stereotyped-in-the-process. evil cycle. 031202 ... Lemon_Soda True, true. Nothing feeds negativity like more negativity. I get it. Its a spectrum. One extreme to the other. I just think its for the best to try and go in the middle. Balance and all that. Socking someone? Well, I am a pacifist so I can't suggest that...but maybe if you asked him a stun question when he wasn't expecting it...something that obviosuly pertains the subject of his current trend of action, but in such a blunt and unexpected answer that he's left with nothing but a vague sense of shame and a whole lot of confusion when you turn heel directly after and leave him to contemplate outside of his own existence. 031205 ... pipedream hee hee i love doing that....there are rare few things so satisfying as a good comeback :D 031205 ... Habitual Perceiver #314 I have to admit that i am guilty of seeing asian girls and glancing (altho always trying to get some eye contact rather than scanning them like sexual objects). I apologise to any i have offended and will offend by stating that but in my defence i will have to say that in my opinion oriental women are the most beautiful in the world. When i am looking i am always considering the prospect of sharing something meaningful with someone whom i might find beauty beyond appearence. I should probably move to the far east because i would find the majority of women stunning and my idea of physical beauty would become obsolete. So to all asian girls everywhere, you are amazing and we are not worthy. 031229 ... angry NO I refuse it and I deny it. I will not accept that that is all I can expect to be. You can have any thoughts you want, no one can stop that. But you have to be able to keep your thoughts to yourself, especially if they manifest themselves in a way that is offensive to others. There are plenty of opinions and desires people have that society deems inappropriate for public display. Why can't this be one of them? It's racism. I accept the power and validity of first impressions, but there's this assumption that this is all there is. No matter what I do to create a different impression, this one prevails. No matter how much evidence to the contrary, so many believe that under it is really just a sweet_little_asian_girl. I am scared that one day I might start to believe it. I'm angry because sometimes I let them get away with it. I'm angry becuase I know I can never prove to every single one of them how wrong they are. My speachlessness is all-consuming anger, not submission. I hate that I feel like I shouldn't smile at strangers because thats just encouraging it. I hate that the bitch inside springs forward so easily now due to overuse, just to refute it. not sweet, trust me. 040503 ... realistic optimist awwww wasn't that sweet? 040503 ... lobsterman but angry girls turn me on the most. so what if i sense your anger and am turned on, and you think my leering is the regular old kind of leering. then you might be projecting to me! weird. unfortunately this seems like a problem girls have with boys in a variety of contexts, across cultures. 040503 ... Casey Why is it every asian porn I download has the private parts blurred out? 040503 ... yamato damashii well that's japanese porn, where they have a taboo on showing pubic hair. 040504 ... Kurosawa It's not a taboo, it's the law. 040504 ... Lemon_Soda Stop wearing short skirts and tight blouses. Try jeans and a t-shirt. 040504 ... Dosquatch Pick your cultural degredations carefully. Which would you prefer, the random hormonally driven ogle, or this? http://www.i-am-asian.com/ $lt;wince, shudder$gt; 040504 ... dosquatch again... <wince, shudder> 040504 ... anythingbutcryptic im asian. i like it. people need to, for lack of a better phrase 'get over it' and things only get to you as much as you let them. 080129 ... Sonya So I'm breaking a promise I made to myself. It occurred to me that people take blather way too seriously. Lemon Soda, sorry but you do come off as an asshole here. You didn't really read what I had to say. Perhaps I should clarify what inspired my "poem". In 2003 I lived in the San Francisco bay area, California. I regularly used public transit daily. There was a particular "older" gentleman (he already had white hair -- in fact he kind of resembled Ernest Hemingway) who rode the same bus route that I did, except for the last stop (I would get off and go home, and he kept riding to wherever the hell he lived.) The buses there run on a regular schedule so really I saw this guy pretty much everyday for a whole year. Here was the problem. He was f*cking old. Now don't get me wrong, I don't particular have anything against old men, but you have to consider the source of my paranoia. At the time I was 19 but I had problems "passing" for 16. Your snide comment to wear a t-shirt and jeans is incredibly stupid. At that time in my life, THAT WAS ALL I WORE. There wasn't a reason for me to be "slutting it up" because I was going to class and 90% of the time I was tired as hell so I was your typical "scrub dressed" college student. The fact of the matter is that I wore t-shirts and jeans, nobody ever believed me when I told them I was 19, had my driver's license for years... and some 60+ weirdo had to eyeball me everyday for a year...you expect me not to be weirded out just a little? I would not have cared if he was younger. Maybe I'm agist or whatever or however it's spelled, but I was hardly "dressed" in an alluring manner - by my own standards I would say I was quite dorky looking and yet...the staring. So either he loathed asian women with a passion (maybe he got divorced by one or something) or he was just one of those weird pedophilic sad guys. He dressed business casual and carried a brief case. I did not know this person, but I found it odd. So that was one of a myriad of experiences that was summed up in my poem. I can only surmise that the reason you, Lemon Soda got so offended by something that wasn't even directed at you is one of the following: -you are one of those white guys who has an Asian girl fetish and doesn't understand how ridiculous and demeaning that is -some Asian girl hurt your pride -you are obviously not one of those people who gets "treated" differently based on your appearance, otherwise you would not have been so quick to judge So now I have judged you. You're obviously too white, priviledged, or close minded not to realize that people have a right to be angry about something they dislike. Besides, what was I supposed to do? Cause a scene on the bus? Honestly most of the time I just ignored him. Sometimes I gave him the evil eye and he'd look away like the loser he was. The rest of the time I found it funny, and then I decided to just jot something down to sum it all up. Do I believe it when people objectify me? Not a bit. Do I have a right to be angry when they do this? You're FUCKING right I do. Let me ask you something... If I wasn't a "sweet little Asian girl", but I was a big, black, angry, black man...would you have taken the poem more seriously before you unleashed your assholish judgment? Your racism clearly shows. This kind of attitude that Asians should just suck it up when they get treated negatively is FUCKING RIDICULOUS. You fall under that group of people who mistakenly think that people like me never have to deal with prejudice. I am not complaining about "being attractive" -- so much as the "reasons" that people find me attractive. Geez I know of men who import "women like me" because they think we're just gonna do their laundry, say "yes" to everything they demand, and not give a shit about getting beat/having our every breathing moment controlled. I don't blathe anymore but to see one of my old entries cause such an uproar takes the cake. I write everything for myself. If you don't like it -- don't read it. And if you're just some uptight, RACIST, asshole who thinks I'm whining about nothing, then I wish for you to be born a minority in the next life. Get pulled over for driving while black every day. Have fugly men come up to you and say "5 dollar sucky sucky?". Seriously gain some damn perspective. This is just another reminder why I no longer post here. Thanks a fucking bunch. 080129 ... Sonya Oh I should probably note that whatever "response" is posted, if any, isn't going to matter to me personally aka. I'm not going to give a damn because I'm going back into hibernation. This has rudely awakened me to the ridiculousness that comes with blather's benefits. It took me nearly 4 years just to see that people were bitching about my poem from way back when -- I did not post again after I wrote it because I jot stuff down and then, that's it. Again, get some freaking perspective. And to add to the mix -- I don't have anything against white men, and those who "want to look". If you want to misconstrue my post, feel free but you'd be misguided. I can honestly say that 2 guys (1 past, 1 present) in my life are white, and neither of them ever treated or treat me with any of this "asian fetish weirdness" that I described in that poem. I guess I can only sum it up like this. "All white men are destined to be pot bellied, balding slobs. They are only good for watching football, drinking beer, and they're fucking pigs, oh... and just for fun, they suck at math, they're lazy and that's why all the jobs are going overseas, and they're birkenstock wearing, ignorant, incredibly hypocritical yuppies. That's all white guys are good for." I don't believe any of that horse shit, but I've heard it all. How would you feel if I said you're whining about nothing when you are angry at being described that way? I know men who fit that description. And for the record, there is nothing wrong with finding someone basically attractive and wanting to look. However, you should ask yourself, "why" you find that person attractive. There is a difference between liking big breasts, and liking someone because you think they can easily be controlled and they can't fight you back when you step on their sense of safety and dignity. This is of course, the basis for pedophilia and other "behaviors" which many people find distasteful. There is something wrong with staring at someone for a whole year, not bothering to make conversation (because obviously the staring is in some way...weird), and staring because of pre-conceived notions you have about that person's ethnicity and that ethnicity's "behaviors". If it was sheer "attraction" maybe, but most girls who have been checked out have come to learn the difference between a check out and a complete undress her and fuck her while staring at her fantasy. Hell, they caught some white guy at Harvard for cutting Asian girl's hair. He would literally come up behind them and snip a portion of their hair, and then run away. When they finally arrested him, they found socks full of black asian girl's hair that he was using to jack off with. You can figure out the rest. If you can find me a case of this involving white men as the victims, power to you, but I think you'll have a hard time trying to find something that psychotic happening to white men or any grown men of any other color. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans, not being able to pass for a 16 year old MINOR...gee I wonder. Thank god for private blogs...geez. 080129 ... Lemon_Soda I want to poke you with a sharp stick to see if you'd explode. I get what your saying, and I think your right, but still... *poke**poke* 080129 ... Lemon_Soda Oh, and too White? Now whose racist? But enough of that. I went and had lunch and thought hard about alot of the things Sonya wrote. I am willing to admit that I am white, that I grew up without worrying about where my next meal is coming from, and that I'm Otaku. I agree that people should take more time to think about why they find different stereotypes more attractive than others. I don't think I'm closed minded anymore than Sonya is, but that is not to say that either of us couldn''t improve our view, either. I understand what its like to be demeaned and groped by people I dont find attractive,and I have been judged by the clothes I wear if not the color of my skin. Socially, I'm laid back and take a genuine interest in tolerance of other peoples behavior. Everyone has their reasons. But here in the Blue, my inhibitions are loosed and I write it how I see it, which, really, is what we all do. I do find Sonya's anger amusing, but not the subject manner. If I had one regret it is that we may never have the chance to hang out, giving us both the oppurtunity to enmesh some positive experiences instead of negative ones. I do hope I get to travel more and thus broaden my horizons and I firmly pray that Sonya won't hold her experiences against the whole of the world. I have come to believe that when we are offended, it is ourselves that choose that reaction. If it is in response to anothers action or words, we only empower them. 080129 ... Sonya Lemon, I've only got one thing to say to you. Otaku made me laugh out loud. You assume too much about a person you do not know. You do not want to admit that you made unfair judgments about a poem a 19 year old girl, 5 years ago, wrote about and FORGOT. I did not write that so some sore white guy could come by and start controversy over it. You took offense to something that was not written about you, to you, or for you. Why is it that you got so sore? Did I touch a nerve? Being "otaku" doesn't make you "down with the people". I don't leer at guys and think about what they can do for me. I just admire their nice eyes and their nice smile, and this is regardless of their ethnic heritage or any preconceived ideas about their culture. There is a huge difference between how I view people and how OTHERS view people that you are not seeing. You seem to have this idea that I am not allowed to write about anything having to do with who or what I am. I might as well tell you that you're not allowed to blathe about anything you have a bad experience with a girl. You get the picture? I'm sorry my poem so offended you, but really...get over it because it was never for you or anybody else on here. This is a concept lost among this community. The need to seek approval or reaction is astounding. If I am "angry" it is mostly about the fact that I got a response I was not seeking from someone overly presumptuous. I'll gladly let you be the person who get leered at by a man old enough to be your grandfather any day. Be my guest and take that spot. I can deal without it. Nobody loves an asiaphile. 080129 ... Sonya I have much more to "pontificate" regarding this whole mess. And I feel that if I do not make myself abundantly clear, Lemon will misunderstand and continue to believe that I wrote this poem for him, or _wanted_ his bitter responses. To be clear, I have never spoken to him, nor do I know who he is, and after this, have no desire to know him. I went back up to the top to read Lemon's original "comments" only to discern that he was either extremely bitter about something or someone, having a bad day and decided to shit on someone else, or was mortally offended by what I wrote because maybe I struck a chord. And yet he chooses to sit there and spout about "empowerment", and in the same breath tell me I am close minded when I am frustrated by his ridiculous comments. So here is the genuine real reason I am annoyed: Imagine that you wrote something down in your youth on a scrap of paper 5 years ago. You take said paper, fold it up, and place it in a tin box. You take said tin box, put it in a larger, cardboard box, and then place said box in a storage closet. Imagine forgetting about that scrap of paper in that box for years. Now...imagine stumbling upon that box, and going through all the mementos, the scraps of paper, and having the memories that INSPIRED what you wrote on those scraps of paper come flooding back to you. Imagine what that would feel like. Now, imagine that as you go through the papers, someone else who has no ownership over your words, came by and decided that because he was having a shitty day or had one particular bad experience, that he decided to turn that scrap of paper with your memory on it into a ridiculous misogynist diatribe because even though the scrap of paper did not belong to him, nor was directed at him, he decided to presume ownership and get offended, release misogynistic remarks, and so forth. Since blather is an experiment, I decided to experiment with you Lemon in my 5 year late response.. The only reason I even noticed this nonsense is because someone else bumped the post and I immediately remembered it as something I wrote when I was younger. Imagine my feeling when after reading what I had written, I scrolled down and saw that you were "not happy" ( boohoo) about what was written, then decided to assume I was dressed slutty and that being treated a certain way was my fault. I sat and decided against going to one of your blathes (particularly your more emo ones regarding some woman who is "gone" or "left") and spewing bitter vitriol in the same way you did originally in my post. Frankly that would have been stooping to your level. I refuse to do this to people -- assuming the author gives a shit about whatever ridiculous advice I would give (as that is how you come across) is incredibly....trashy. So I decided that I would constantly point out to you your race, label and stereotype you continually to see if you would be offended by it. And you were, and you probably still are. Now you know how it feels to be labeled and looked at for what you are, rather than WHO you are --- even if that label could be misconstrued by people as "positive" it is still tacky nonetheless. Even if it is a label such as "sweet little asian girl", it is still uncouth. And for the record, had I come back to check my poem for "comments" in 2003 (rarely did I do this), I would have no desire to hang out with you in person. You have ruined it by your original comments which I found tacky and impolite. That's the thing about me and people. I could give a rat's ass about the color of your skin or your appearance as long as you are a polite person. All you did by writing what you wrote, proved to me that you are unpolite, and I couldn't have cared less whether you wrote that while wearing an armani suit or a potato sack. You fully admit that you "let loose" on the internet as opposed to real life. I pity you that you cannot be this abrasive ( or brutally honest about your beliefs) in real life but feel the need to spew maschismo over the internet at people you do not know to compenstate. I need not remind you that staring at someone for an unusual length of time without smiling, nor making conversation is seen as impolite, and usually...creeps people out. Had that old man struck up a conversation instead of what he did do, I would have been more than happy to at least talk to him and chit chat. The weirdness of the repeated staring without conversation could not be avoided. You might also want to do some research on the term "otaku" - not the ridiculous American meaning, but the origin of the term in Japan. If you said you simply liked anime, no problem. I have issues with grown men who sum themselves up with labels that they do not truly understand, though. The fact is that most Japanese would not want to be referred to as an "otaku" -- in America I see that obsessive anime fans prefer to use this term, but in Japan there is much more negativity surrounding it seeing as how that is where the term originated. I like some anime but I never call myself "otaku". I am not nearly obsessed enough to label myself as such, and I think it's tacky to do so. While you are at it, you might want to research that term, and then immediately look up "gaijin". Then followed by that term, look up "wapanese", then "wigger". One has to wonder what is worse. To be harshly labeled by strangers, or to be foolish enough to label one's self? I knew that you would call me close minded for pointing out your race - however I still don't think you understand why I chose to take that route. Perhaps now you will. I wanted you to sit there and understand what it is like to be seen for what you are, rather than who you are, to be unfairly judged and summed up in a few derogatory terms, or snide comments. And asking you to research those terms is only for your own benefit and outlook on life. I do not really believe that you are any of those terms, but maybe you will come to realize that some people out there would peg you as such and perhaps you will understand how that is ridiculous. Your original comments up at the top only say to me that you think what I wrote about was trivial, because you do not fully understand it, and chose to make outlandish assumptions about the poem's "inspiration". This is the last of what I have to say on the matter. I can summarily say that I think you were "trolling" for some sort of response and it disgusts me that you would do so on a poem that was not meant to instigate anything. If so, the others who went against your "comments" (insults) gave you your trolling wish. My response here is really my indication to you that you have ruined something from my youth by making it about you (why else for the snide comments?), and being angry about something that was never yours to begin with. If you want to talk about empowerment, you're wasting your time. I do not feel "empowered" when I live up to my "label" (see the damn title of this page) by turning the other cheek and acting complacent and according to you "not giving in". In reality, if I gave in, this poem wouldn't even exist because I would just be "fine" with everything and just accept it, and well frankly...live life as a doormat. Think about that. I was not seeking sympathy or praise, but I was certainly not seeking criticism, misogyny, someone telling me he's otaku (for what purpose I do not know, nor care - it doesn't change anything), or to be as you put it, "poked with a stick" to see if I would explode. I can only wonder if you go back and read your comments and if you wonder what it was that made you so generally distasteful and rude in your dischord. And further more, I do not hold the world hostage. I am not angry at the world. Really I was just annoyed at you in particular for starting some controvery about a poem you had nothing to do with, which led to like 20 people feeling the need to jump all over this. Maybe you should sit back and realize that as a writer, one often writes for the sake of writing -- not so that 5 years later he or she can see a wall of diatribe pollute a memory from their youth, because to me, that's all it was, but now it's not. This is the absolute last I have to say about any of this. I feel like I've wasted years of my life even responding, because really what is the point? I'm responding to someone who is one person in person, and a completely different person on the internet. Anonymity brings out the worst in people. I can assure you that I have since this original entry was posted gone out of my way to as you put it "do something about it" by basically telling people how I really feel on the subject instead of just keeping mute. Thank you Lemon Soda, for reminding me why I stopped writing here in the first place. Thank you again for reminding me why I will not post anything here in the future for someone like you to rudely expound on. I would give you the same treatment on some of your more "sensitive" blathes, but why would I want to lower myself to such trashy behavior? Oh and if you are indeed an asiaphile, you're not looked at in a positive light. And Japan is not summed up in anime, which is purely fiction. It might do you some good to travel there, experience how they treat gaijin, and understand that asiaphiles seeking their women are viewed with disdain and contempt. And no, I am not Japanese...sorry to burst your assumption. 080130 ... Lemon_Soda Please go to any of my other blathes and tell me what you think. 080130 ... unhinged to_kelli 080130 ... ex? porn addict read some of the posts here http://www.pornaddictioninfo.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?fid=9 and try to realise how dirty the dirty old men feel, how they really do want to stop looking at you. 080130 what's it to you? who go blather from