beauty's_curse misstree "I wish I had your problem." I tighten in silent reply to this too-easy dismissal. "Just for one day, I want to be no one," I murmur to myself, but my companion doesn't hear. We keep walking, and I feel the need to rail against this unfair power, the legacy and curse etched into my "fair form". "It's not something you can turn on and off. You have to look at every person as an enemy. You always wonder what they're after, when they'll start trying to herd you into bed, like some skittish wild animal--hand outstretched, cooing. You're not a person, you're a great pair of tits." I think of the man earlier who had tried to talk me into his apartment to bum a cigarette, who laughed at me as I skittered away, throwing back "no thank you"s like a deer's upturned tail, and how I clutched a thin, unsharpened pencil like a weapon against his approach. "Eyes crawl over you like hands, uninvited, so your body's not your own anymore," I think aloud. A sideways glance tells me this is being contemplated like a curiosity. "Your instinct becomes to run, to close yourself in, or else turn it against them, let them tip you and buy you drinks." A guilty fist turns in my stomach, thinking of my attempts to forget myself in music and free drinks, to somehow slink through the suffocation. "They call me a goddess sometimes, like they're worshipping or paying tribute. I don't want that. I don't want to be better than anyone else, not in a way I can't help or change." "You're beautiful. You can't escape it," my friend says with the finality of fact, annoyed that I would contest my "gift". I look up at the cold, distant moon, always circling the earth like a moth on a wire, a styrofoam satellite in a science project mobile. "No. I guess I can't escape it," I answer with a sigh. copyright 2001. 020416 ... creepy bird well, if it's any consolation you can rest assured that there is no solace in being bereft of beauty either but that is another curse unto itself 020417 ... silentbob what about the curse of constantly hearing what sounds like a long jagged fingernail scratching rough fabric? it's really starting to annoy me. But that being said, i think its sad that pretty girls feel like everyone's out to get them, just hustle them into bed, like they feel like their beauty is all thats to them. Thats why when i went up to a pretty girl, i asked what music she was listening to. Not if she wanted to get down and suck my dick. and instead of answering me she kind of rolled her eyes and vaguely motioned to a cd case. and when i tried to show her my cds, her interest was poorly faked. being cynical because you're beautiful doesn't reserve the right to be a bitch just because you don't want to talk to someone whose unattractive. it doesn't give you some handicapped sign that says you suddenly don't have to be polite to people. 020417 ... blown cherry poor jason He msgd me again tonight, but when I called he didn't pick up. I waited outside his house for 20mins, but nothing. Hope he's ok. I know he will be, it's just a matter of how far down he'll go before he comes back up. 020417 ... Daria They think your stuck up, but your not. They call you in the middle of the night and bother you on the street. 020417 ... splinken but sometimes "what music do you like to listen to?" really means "would you like to get down on your knees and suck my dick?" it's hard to tell. 030701 ... blather reality check change 'sometimes' to 'always' 030701 ... misstree or sometimes it means "i'm bored and you're convenient, entertain me", or sometimes it means, "you look like you belong to a subculture whose music i do/might enjoy, why not compare notes?" or sometimes it means "really, i'm curious, what music are you listening to?" Snap judgements stifle spontaneity worldwide, keep your eyes open and sparkling and waiting for the unexpected. Blather reality check, check thyself. ;) 030701 ... blather reality check if i didn't already know you were female, i would be able to tell from your response 030702 ... misstree Why, because I discourage snap judgements? Or because I believe people to be capable of being interested in music rather than sex? Do not fear the bitterness. It is there for entertainment purposes only. 030702 ... I Needed That i just say....nice... BOOBIES! 031124 ... mt (this spawned from question_for_the_'pretty_girls' , also worth checking out.) 031124 ... tyger I have seen it from both sides now. I used to be quite good looking but then gained about 40 lbs and 10 years. I'm not awful looking now or anything, but not what I used to be. I can tell you now that I would give almost anything to be beautiful again. I don't get treated badly, exactly (I am spared that indignity, unlike really heavy women) I just get treated like...nothing... I can't tell you how many times some guy has literally leaned across my lap to talk to the little skinny 18 year old on the other side of me. To ask her what music she's listening to, what her major is, where she lives, etc... Nobody is interested in me anymore for any reason. It's kind of made me angry with people, because I thought when I was younger that people liked me and were social with me because I was a cool smart funny person. Now I know that it was just because I was good looking. And that's sad. Even so, I would still happily take the curse of beauty over the curse of ugly anyday...at least then you aren't confronted every day with the truth that people are shallow and cruel. 031124 ... Lemon_Soda Okay. Let me lay this down, right at the begining. Subject aside, everyone will always have insecurity. Fixation feeds the beast. How long you gonna let that man eating shugablitz live in your basement, growing every day, before you kill it? You have to deal with a problem, thats no lie. You can't just wait and hope it'll go away. But just as important as dealing with the problem is HOW you choose to deal with it. You can take any offense in any direction. Whitch end would you like? Another person to hate? Or a more understanding friend? As for this "beauty is a curse" thing...well...this is rough to try to explain, because its a very personnal belief. There are certain types of people whom the masses love to be around. These people are bouncy, strong, commanding, terrifying, sensual...any concept you can imagine, seemingly personified for our own viewing pleasure. Almost all of them are incredibly attractive for one reason or another(not just looks, mind you. Two words: Ron Jeremy ). it pretty much comes with living where and when we do. This is a burden they will have to live with all of their days unless they completely wash away who they are. People will want to hear you speak, watch you walk, pray that they may some day bed with you, match your dressing style, or just be content to stand with in 30 ft. of you. Your the kind of person that turns a straight gay. This is not something that is easy to escape, and it never will be. You are an image. A concept. A saint of this or the other. You have a responsability to these people as well as yourself. This is the anti-bitch clause. Your example will open or close doors for literally thousands of people. You can make someone into a respectable freind/acquaintence or you can make them like slasher films a little to much. People choose their leaders, by picking the people in their lives that best represent the things they see in purist form. You are prime candidates. Your naturally attractive. Things that sound idiotic or pointless from you are taken as gospel truth. Your opinion when honostly expressed can raise an ego to the highest mountain or shatter it like a 40 pnd. sledge on a toilet bowl(including the putrid mess afterwords). In a nutshell, people are looking to you to stand firm so they have something to hold onto. Your the one that has to decide whether we'll all be standing in a field or a pile of shit. 031124 ... misstree not everyone looks up to the shining ones. there are predators out there, baser beasts who would consume anything with life... and there is prey, yes my dearies, some of it glittering like jewels, but fit only for a brutal feast... i understand invisibility... but what does it sum to if the entire world is crying out, "it's not fair!"... the world will not serve itself to you... find your tools and use them, we all start out with a fresh crack at godhood, where you go from there is all anything amounts to... 031124 ... petals dropping so.....wanna grind pubic regions..... okay you take l.a. and i'll take san fran...... 031124 ... celestias shadow So the witch pointed her wand at the princess, and said "You will be the most beautiful girl the world has ever seen." When she was nineteen, the princess went to her tower room, locked the door, and cut her wrists. 040104 ... jane the curse comes after the beauty 040104 ... jezabel there are no blessings and no curses just factors to be weighed and played. 040105 ... im not telling i don't think anyone really takes me seriously, everyone who's "nice" to me is full of shit, my best friend's annoying and intimidated, people will say i'm "pretty" when they know i feel depressed to make me feel better, i have no interest in guys, just having sex with them, and i'm shallow. 040302 ... sameolme good title for a romance novel 040302 ... elegance beauty's curse is not being beautiful and how everyone treats you, but the fact that once you are beautiful then you are expected to stay beautiful. and thats the hardest thing of all. 040617 what's it to you? who go blather from