unattractive Ouroboros the sun is shining and global warming is happening, but this feeling of being unattractive is trumping it all. it doesn't help that a friend let me know he found the shape(liness) of my ass a turn off. it's frustrating, because i know it is about how i feel in my body and what i can do with it, not how it fits into clothing. i try to fight down that part of my mind that tells me to be thinner, etc., so it's unnerving to hear it from a man. i notice all my blemishes, face, skin, shape of my arms, legs, and ass, and feel inadequate. i could be thin, i know how to do that, but it scares me, the idea of being that way again- filled with self-hatred, etc. but would it really be like that? there would be benefits, not just some people finding me attractive- benefits for myself. eating better, feeling lighter, moving quicker, not feeling shame when i look at myself in the mirror. maybe. it's hard to tell what is healthy and what is pathology. how i am now- is this health? being thinner- is that pathology, or health? confused. 110212 ... ergo Sorry, but now I can't stop thinking about the shape of your ass........................... I bet it curves just so.... yeah like that... Damn, now I need a pencil. 110212 ... his sig i find balance is health be well out there, friend 110212 what's it to you? who go blather from