blather_confessional girl_jane Fogive me, Father, for I have sinned, in thought, and would in deed if the opportunity came... bad bad bad Catholic girl... 030311 ... girl_jane see-I'm still so flustered I can't even spell forgive correctly... 030311 ... father_confessional My daughter; Could you elaborate on the nature of these impure thoughts that I might better know what penance you deserve? 030312 ... girl_jane I'm afraid, Father, that if I let these thoughts wonder anywhere other than my mind, it would be another sin. 030312 ... this is me now i once found myself in a bath house. its actually wuite a long story. but to cut it short, i wound up walking into a room and giving a guy head without ever saying one word to him. i shudder now, and wish it didnt happen. only because its so not me. maybe if he came i would feel slightly better about it 030313 ... father_confessional There is an old adage which says, "Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." Don't beat yourself with actions past but, go forth and sin no more, my Son. 030313 ... Lilac It drives me crazy thinking about him not caring. yeah, it was a relief. But that was after I came to grips with the loss. It still bothers me when I think about it. We almost had a kid together. Geez A kid. I was going to be a mother until it was lost. And he never said anything. Just was relieved. thats all 030316 ... father_confessional Sister Lilac; I read your blathes of past and feel for you a sense of sorrow. "While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it." Samuel Johnson Be comforted little sister - this too shall pass. 030317 ... sirflaccid I didn't know how to react. We were having a baby. My mind was so busy and torn trying to figure out what we were going to do. I never really had time to sit back and think about what this really was. When it was over it was like the world was lifted off our shoulders. That was the only thing I knew how to react to. I think it was sad, I mean a part of me died. But it was a part I never knew I had. I just thought it was hard to realize you lost something you never knew you had. How do you cope with that. I just don't want anyone to think I didn't care. If I didn't care I would have suggested we cut it off ourselves. 030318 ... jane forgive me father, for i have sinned this is my first blather_confession. i have had impure thoughts as long as i can remember. i like girls and i like boys. i have had sexual intercourse with men two to seven years older than me. i don't ask for a lot but i am very needy. i want to know how to help myself 030318 ... ShnizelCheese I have Needs Much like Janes... I battle to find a calling to a certain gender... Is there something wrong, why is it so hard for people to understand that im just not fussy... 030318 ... father_confessional Brother Flaccid; This is an experience you will carry for the rest of your years. After you have fathered a new generation, you will find a small pain haunting you of the life that might have been. You can but ask His forgiveness and be most careful in future - our sisters take this much more to heart, you see. There is no penance for you - the haunting is the price you pay. 030318 ... father_confessional Sisters Jane & SC; I know of your dilema and I believe it to be a natural course. However, it is with some hesitation that I present the following wisdom; "In battling evil, excess is good; for [he/she] who is moderate in announcing the truth is presenting half-truth. [He/she] conceals the other half out of fear of the people's wrath." Kahlil Gibran I hesitated because Church doctrine would have you play safe; indeed, to heed these words is not. I have lived lives before this and can vouch this. Live life to the full and find yourselves. 030318 ... ShnizelCheese Um... er.... ShnizelCheese Looks Down..... Im not a Girl am i? 030319 ... father_confessional Oh my Lord! Forgive me my son. It was the fair texture of thy skin and the beauty of thine eyes which doth deceive these old orbs of mine. In any case, the quoted words of the Master are genderless and broadly sweeping in their application. 030319 ... splinken i poked my friends in their eyes, and i called the dog a bad name. i lied to my boss, i ate too much candy, i freedom kissed someone in the dark. help. 030331 ... father_confessional "Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact." George Eliot (1819 - 1880) Come back when your sins are more weighty and I will be glad to offer what little wisdom God has granted me. 030331 ... jane splinken, you can kiss me in the dark anytime 030401 ... splinken word! 030402 ... phil let me take this opportunity to say splinken/jane... anytime you two are ready. 030402 ... phil oh yes, and father please forgive for I hate you. 030402 ... father_confessional "Truth is the mother of hatred." Ausonius Of course you can be forgiven my son. But, what could I have done to invoke such depth of emotion? 030403 ... Dafremen Forgive me blather, for I have sinned. I just got internet service at home again and I've been indulging in a good old fashioned romp through farce and fantasy sarcasm again. (You know blather, is giving people what they expect of me instead of what I really am such a sin after all? I mean they don't believe the real deal anyhow...where's the harm?) 030403 ... annonymous i cheated on my boyfriend 030403 ... father_confessional "A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for." W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946) It is probably fair to say that until you are betrothed to another in the House of the Lord, finding that thing worth having is more exploration than sin. 030404 ... father_confessional I can hardly believe myself that I just condoned cheating. The Cardinal would eat me for breakfast for that one. However, I was inspired to console the cheater who, at a tender age needs not to feel guilt for searching out a proper mate. This is a normal process. The guilt would be mine should I pressure that person stay in the wrong relationship - which appears the case. 030404 ... father_confessional Dafremen; In this house you have addressed "blather", and so it is not normally my place to speak. Good thing that is too, for I see no sin in what you confess. In fact, I was a little confused as to why you should be visiting us at all. 030404 ... Dafremen You're a wise man and always so good to me father. Here's a 20 for the offering plate and a bottle of Irish Malt Whiskey for you. 030404 ... jane forgive me...maybe... i had more impure thoughts. and i'm not trying to get rid of them. 030404 ... father_confessional "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude We are with you in this moment of darkness, dear sister Jane. 030405 ... father_confessional For others who may be confused at the preceeding post, please visit jane's_rant. 030405 ... cant say forgive me father, for i have sinned. i am madly in love with a young lady which is almost impossible for other people to accept this sin i had made. I too am a young lady and according to the you my father loving the same sex is an awful sin. i tried to change my feelings but as you can see i havent succeed. everyone in my family knows about me being a (forgive me father for saying this word) lesbian, and i can tell that they do not accept this kind of thing. but it is who i am and what i will be forever. it kills me just to know that they judge me now that they know. what am i supose to do? shall i not continue to go to church and learn because i am a sin already, as sin from birth? do i even deserve to have a life? shall i just kill myself sense i have no one but my love. my friends has forgotten about me, "i am just another lesbian that might hit on them." i dont know what to do anymore father. tell me please. 030426 ... cant say forgive me father, for i have sinned. i am madly in love with a young lady which is almost impossible for other people to accept this sin i had made. I too am a young lady and according to the you my father loving the same sex is an awful sin. i tried to change my feelings but as you can see i havent succeed. everyone in my family knows about me being a (forgive me father for saying this word) lesbian, and i can tell that they do not accept this kind of thing. but it is who i am and what i will be forever. it kills me just to know that they judge me now that they know. what am i supose to do? shall i not continue to go to church and learn because i am a sin already, as sin from birth? do i even deserve to have a life? shall i just kill myself sense i have no one but my love. my friends has forgotten about me, "i am just another lesbian that might hit on them." i dont know what to do anymore father. tell me please. 030426 ... lost_soul forgive me father, for i have sinned. i am madly in love with a young lady which is almost impossible for other people to accept this sin i had made. I too am a young lady and according to the you my father loving the same sex is an awful sin. i tried to change my feelings but as you can see i havent succeed. everyone in my family knows about me being a (forgive me father for saying this word) lesbian, and i can tell that they do not accept this kind of thing. but it is who i am and what i will be forever. it kills me just to know that they judge me now that they know. what am i supose to do? shall i not continue to go to church and learn because i am a sin already, as sin from birth? do i even deserve to have a life? shall i just kill myself sense i have no one but my love. my friends has forgotten about me, "i am just another lesbian that might hit on them." i dont know what to do anymore father. tell me please. 030426 ... Marcie i did my confessions but it was not answered. ???? 030426 ... smurfus rex Marcie, read Ruth 1:14-18 and know that others have been where you are now. 030427 ... father_confessional Marcie; Assuming that yours is the confession of the lost soul, please forgive my tardiness in response. I was delayed in my visit here. I have searched in vain for meaningful insights which may have shed some light on your situation. I was surprised at how little I could find. I am therefore left to my own devices. In truth, I understand not why the church teaches homosexuality as sin. In fact, there are several churches that do not. Technically, it must be said, it is deviant behavior but then, where would humanity be without that? Kings and inventors throughout the ages have all been marked by deviant behavior. In life outside the church, I understand better the social pressures we put on those who deviate. As parents, we want our seed to live on in time. There is some dynasty gene we need satisfy. Peers are less than comfortable because you have chosen a path less travelled and peers are notorious for all to belong. I have little to console you sister. If you believe in this strongly enough, you place yourself in a leadership role and leadership, I suspect, was never easy. Give back to your community. Prove yourself otherwise worthy in His eyes. 030428 ... megan in orser to shed light on the subject at hand, i suggest we go to the Bible, the light and truth and word of everything. found in the book of Romans... "1:18 But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. F6 1:19 For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. F7 God has put this knowledge in their hearts. 1:20 From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God. 1:21 Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused. 1:22 Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead. 1:23 And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people, or birds and animals and snakes. 1:24 So God let them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other's bodies. 1:25 Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they worshiped the things God made but not the Creator himself, who is to be praised forever. Amen. 1:26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 1:27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men and, as a result, suffered within themselves the penalty they so richly deserved. 1:28 When they refused to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their evil minds and let them do things that should never be done. 1:29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 1:30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They are forever inventing new ways of sinning and are disobedient to their parents. 1:31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, and are heartless and unforgiving. 1:32 They are fully aware of God's death penalty for those who do these things, yet they go right ahead and do them anyway. And, worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too." Homosexuality IS listed as a sin in the Bible. it is wrong. But, we must not forget the incredible promise that binds us together in Christ. His blood. He died for every sin, washing away all our transgressions, blotting away all iniquities. In this, all sins are equal, being eradicated through the same means. In saying this, we can see homosexuality and lying as essentially the same thing. That's where the next passge of Scripture comes in (God doesn't want us to take anything out of context). "2:1 You may be saying, "What terrible people you have been talking about!" But you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you do these very same things. 2:2 And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. 2:3 Do you think that God will judge and condemn others for doing them and not judge you when you do them, too? 2:4 Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin? 2:5 But no, you won't listen. So you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself because of your stubbornness in refusing to turn from your sin. For there is going to come a day of judgment when God, the just judge of all the world, 2:6 will judge all people according to what they have done. 2:7 He will give eternal life to those who persist in doing what is good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. 2:8 But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and practice evil deeds. 2:9 There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on sinning – for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. 2:10 But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good – for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. 2:11 For God does not show favoritism. 2:12 God will punish the Gentiles when they sin, even though they never had God's written law. And he will punish the Jews when they sin, for they do have the law. 2:13 For it is not merely knowing the law that brings God's approval. Those who obey the law will be declared right in God's sight. 2:14 Even when Gentiles, who do not have God's written law, instinctively follow what the law says, they show that in their hearts they know right from wrong. 2:15 They demonstrate that God's law is written within them, for their own consciences either accuse them or tell them they are doing what is right. 2:16 The day will surely come when God, by Jesus Christ, will judge everyone's secret life. This is my message. " Take from it what you may. 030428 ... marcie thanks for saying what you think, but i still things that i shouldnt be judged by what i am but for the things i do. it was not my fault that i turned out to be like this. and it is said that god is a forgiving man. what do you think father? 030428 ... father_confessional This is a dilema. As Megan has pointed out, homosexuality is technically a sin. I have heard others profess that homosexuals will have an honoured place in heaven because they are destined to a higher order than simple procreation. However, judging by the level of promiscuity most homosexuals adopt, I suspect most will have a difficult time passing St. Peter. Promiscuity is however, a topic for another day. For myself, I have always tried to understand the reasoning behind the law (It has ever been this rebellious streak that has kept me from advancing farther in the priesthood). So, while I must accept the letter of the law, it isn't in my heart to enforce it because I haven't yet understood the intent. As to your "I should be judged for what I do" question; this is what I was alluding to above when I said "prove yourself otherwise worthy". You currently feel yourself judged by a label - as a new pair of shoes takes a little getting used to. In the long run however, people will forget (and forgive) the label and judge you by your actions. Make them count then until we understand better the intent of the law. "Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong." Dandemis 030429 ... Saint beware of potential stereotyping, i think anyone young and newly sexual runs the risk of being outrageously promiscuous regardless of orientation. You just see it more in the gay community because with the increased public profile of the gay community in the modern media. It's not that we are more promiscuous as a population, it's more that those of us who are are the ones you see more often. To say that we're all promiscuous is no different from that one god-awful congressswoman's remarks the other day about some gun legislation implying that all black people are dope addled criminals. If nothing else, the gloating and generally bad politics i have ben seeing lately have caused me to change party afiliations iin my political life. 030429 ... Grace (this is not a confession..) Saint- Sounds like the comment I heard a Democratic Rep.make about a month ago on t.v. He suggested..the President's current cabinet..and those who agree with him..or what he does..are/were : (quasi -quote) ''..war mongering ..Republican war loving..Born Again Christians..'' No one "wants" war We don't "want " war.. We were praying it would go.. We feel,prayers may've played a deep role in war being turned away or at least sortof ..left not quite so bad as it was.. Miraculously, for the world, at least now anyway, it was..(turned away) - It was really kind of strange..the comment Very,very..strange..And dumb! ~~~ Regarding above.. I'm sure many see the whole page as a lark..(maybe not..)..sex n all.. I agree with the Bible. There's just a way to say things, that may not be so effortless for some Christians. God's Word stands on its own merit. But it sounds harsh and punitive from another person,sometimes(we all sinners feet of clay etc.)And judgey..preachy..Or hypocritical, or synthetic. One guy took it in such a jaded way he's got a website on this parodying Christians..pretending to be a "Christian woman". It's almost humourous it it weren't so sad his rage and disappointment behind all his scathing comments/ary.. Anyway.. I can't lie and say God's Word isn't true. My Cousin passed away a saved man. But,I didn't write that because of that. I just wrote my poem, for him. God can speak through it, or any words, as He will. Or not.. But the details of that are rather complex and mysterious, even to me..(Salvation experience..) Maybe they'll come out in a poem sometime. 'Til then, yes,I agree God's Word is true. I also think those delivering this Truth..(not you megan) could be more kind, and less harsh with people about it.. Maybe they (Christians) just feel so very earnestly about what they came out of..Truth must separate from condemnation-(NOT God)-and only you know..And I believe you do.. If we were perfection,we,none of us would need Him or look to Him.. If He expected "perfection" of us that would make the concept (reality) of His Grace a joke. It's hard to reconcile "my" sins with not feeling wretched about "me" and add to that others saying God loves me.. HE loves ME? Yes,He does.. But,if God loves me, Why am I like this? Why do I feel this way? etc. I've heard of suicides over this THAT bothers me.ALOT. God foresaw who we would be before we were even born. He knew our life span our pains and the hairs on our heads.. I've known 'gay' Christians that are DEEPLY wrangled by this stuff.. It's painful because ALL of us are born into sin,here. NOT one of us is "exempt". My concern is the extremity in which (this can) be seen..And to the levels of self-loathing some can reach,on this..and related. No way is ANY of that His Will or desire for you. Not at all.. No Christian is going to share sin is a "good thing".. Does saying we aren't free from it make it a thing to do? If we have a choice? Outside of God's redemptive power in ANY life (and even then..)I think it's at best-hard, very hard to make that choice.Because the world finds most all sin acceptable.And His Word says it.. Problems can come when people take it so personally they feel they "Are" their sin. I think a distinction from -who you are- with-this sin or that..Just,a sinner..Everyone,yea..Again,only you know the distinction.. If one tells one lie,is he a liar? Practices, separate from who you are.. Society says it differently.. As I said in homosexual, sin is sin. It's a basic as that. Christ came for ALL. And I've met 'gay' Christians who say "But not for me.." "No but you have not read this scripture.." As if God loves them any less.. Making themselves separate. I find this painful. We have other friends who are saved and struggle with it,yes..but are less tormented and extremely freed up, more than some,anyway..They don't use the word 'gay' or even homosexual to describe themselves..They aren't in denial of their struggles with sin.. But, they are children of God.. just as we are.. I say 'gay' as an easy way to explain..a background.. No need to clarify what 'kind' of Christian really.. There's one, the saved kind. And we're all in it together. And anyone pretending we're not.. well..whose sin is that? So, I guess put this together with "Keith", and those are,kindof,my sentiments..For the most part.. And just forgive them..and yourselves.. And seek His face..As they say.. Man is fearfully and wonderfully made (pslm139) In a way,like Him,but-fortunately -not (God)Him.. It's loving to share the truth with someone. Especially when you feel/or know it's THE Truth. It's NOT loving when it's shared in a heavy handed or "Holier than thou" kind of way. I feel God finds that a bit contemptable. Or, at least wrong. Doesn't make His Word wrong.It's the delivery.. ~~~ Loving one another. Above these there is no law. It's also the Greatest Gift.. His Word says that too. God is Love Maybe I said it better in "Keith", but I tried,(here).As a Christian, I felt it important to share.. ~ yea,that's my "big-confessional" for the night..yeah me!:) My sentiments are here..and in a related topic..here.. see: "Keith" You know where:) cu -why am I thinking of that old Pet Shop boys song?.. Or was that song I Confess? Anyway..Nevermind..It was the '80s 030430 ... Grace Ok,ok.. I can't.. say my sharing on- my Cousin Keith was for him alone.. But it was.. It was..It was.. To be honest,I wasn't thinking about a "motive"..I don't write,live think or work,'that way'.. I have no doubt,sincerely,it may've been the Holy Spirit helping me write those words.. And Love (Which is the same thing)..That's pretty much the driving force of it actually.And all my life.. That's all:) I did it out of love..Best I can say.. But,anyway.. Ok..Now THERE"S my confession!:) ~~~~~~~ *Looks around.. *Sniffs.. What is this dark place and how did I get here? I haven't been in one of these dark little rooms in 25 years.. *Looks around.. *Stumbles over the spirits of guilt fear, self-loathing and sweaty palms(condemnation).. *Kicks legalism on the way out.. Smells like incense.. They haven't changed much, have they? -*Steps OUT of confessional box.. Thank you Lord I am out of that room.. Thought I was rather stuck there.. For a moment.. *Closes confessional curtains.. *Runs away 030430 ... father_confessional Thank you for your contribution, Grace. I will light a candle for you. "[People] occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened." Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) 030501 ... ferret i feel that a confessional is not a necessary way to seek forgiveness, since you already know my heart, so i see no reason why i should tell a priest my sins. i do not doubt that you will forgive me 030613 ... phil forgive me, I did not read anyone elses confession, I only read jane's, and I wish I was having impure thoughts. 030613 ... jane need some help 030613 ... girl_jane I slept with him last night, and I enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it too. is a glowing girl_jane today. 040216 ... :_) i wish i had the answer. in my mind sometimes it's right, sometimes it's wrong. i'm not Catholic, i'm not even Christian. but i'm certainly not atheist either. blather is a playground for people to express physical and mental desires. i'm okay as long as i concentrate on what my mind is telling me. but my body tells me something different. i can't help being aroused by certain words. it's safe sex. making love to words would be practically danger free. but price i have pay in guilt means nothing comes for free. i know a Christian would tell me it's the devil who's causing me to commit a sin. i'm not married, but i feel like i am. i sometimes think i'm the most honest person in the world. painfully honest. it's not a good thing on a job interview, or when you're trying to fight deep hidden urges. they don't go away. i can keep them at bay, but what a person resists, persists.... 040216 ... pheather i confess that writing a blathe about a beautiful_man is a complete sinful experience. let me be forgiven 040226 ... Farool Father, can you hear me? 060427 ... father_confessional Yes brother Farool, I hear you. Forgive me, I just stepped out for a sabbatical. Now, what weighs heavy on your soul? 070701 ... They call me Truth Father i must reconcile myself with you, you that has been traditionally taughtto me from youth. I love you, but my heart has been driven down to dark places and high places and places i believe are beyond your philosophy. You have blessed me regardless of this and you have remained with me through it all. I set myself free God, for once i was a frequent reader of the word but now i have put it down for its other manifestations. I have let go of the fear of the Devil and I no longer fear you. I love you deeply and now i see you as closer to me as ever before. I have no deep secrets. I have nothing that i must keep hidden. i have chosen my heart over that which wars with it, and sometimes this is the bible itself. i have two gay friends. Though i do not share in the lifestyle, i cannot find it within myself to disapprove. The only thing that i could have ever said was that the bible says that its wrong. I have sat by and watch my friend suffer, contemplate suicide, kill himself on the inside, hide in shame, all because of a written word claimed to be the voice of God. Yet there is a voice that lives inside of me that seems to be more accepting, more loving, and more unconditional than this God. Jesus said that God is inside each and every one of us and i believe with all my heart that there is good at the core of all people and i i believe that a book is necessary to hear his voice. Love is love to me and i no longer trust what people have placed in front of me and claim to be true, yet i do not dismiss it as false. i am sorry to put these impure thoughts on a page filled with God by the book. Please forgive me father if u view it as sin, i however view it as perfect love 070701 ... They call me Truth Father i feel like i must share more with you. I do not get the concept of hell and i never have. The only reason i would want a person to go to hell is out of vengeance and i do not think it represents perfect love. It is said that we will always have free choice. hell should be something we chose for ourselves, not something forced on a person. and to think of people being thrown into a pit of fire to burn for eternity doesn't seem to solve anything to me. barbecueing your creations because they didnt make what u felt was the right choices doesnt seem to be unconditional to me, and if the angels were able to rebel wouldnt we be able to rebel as well even after judgment. will he just keep tossing people in the fire if they do not adhere to the conditions he has set in order for us to remain in his pressence? Will it jus be an eternal barbecueing? Will he throw my friend into hell because he follows his heart. will i be tossed in there as well. i should not be able to fathom a God more loving or more forgiving than this. Yet I do. a God that allows every being as long as they need to decide to love him, a God that doesn't have conditions in order to enter his home. a God that accepts a man as he is and doesnt have any need or want to change any part of him so that he may be more "pleasing in his sights." How can we teach people to be tolerant and be accepting and uncondtional when conditions are being spouted out of every crevice, expectations are being mounted one on top the other by God himself. So that people must feel the weaight of judgment every day of their lives from every direction including above. Forgive me God i am having a hard time with believing that it should be that way. 070701 ... They call me Truth i am sorry. it was like word vomit. Talk to me father. 070701 ... ferdenan i like the feel of satin. 070701 ... father_confessional They call me Truth; You have touched upon many subjects in your blathe, and it would take a more learned man than I to answer all the issues you have raised. Above all, I am reminded of a quote by Patrick Morley, "There is a God we want and there is a God who is - and they are not the same God." You need to be careful not to try to re-create God in the image you want, for your own purposes. No matter how much society changes, we have to remember that God is immutable - He doesn't change. The truths that His Spirit inspired in the writers of the books of the bible are as valid today as they were in the first century. What you need do is to spend a bit of time learning the attributes of the God who is. Go to Him in prayer and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Ask Him, in Jesus' name, and be prepared to be amazed. I will pray for you. 070702 ... They call me Truth Thank you Father for responding to me. And i am both shocked and struck in a state of deja vu by your response. I have had such a response to my thoughts before, and believe me father i have doubted them and struggled with them for a long time. I have even thought i was the anti christ. I went to God many times about this and i went to many people. They told me that i had these thoughts for a reason. I struggled to reconcile the God of my heart and the God of the Good Book many times and though i found many similarities i also found inconsistencies, holes, and contradiction. i looked at what God said he was according to the word and i believed with all my heart in his virtues, yet i could not see how he could not escape the weaknesses of humans. He seemed more to me like a man with immense power than a perfect God. I have bben amazed by God many times but it has not been the God that has been written down always but always the God that speaks to my heart. I dont expect you to understand this and given what you believe it would be hard for you to see it as i say without you putting a spin on it. Indeed we all do this. But i must assure you that i have struggled with this and it caused me many restless nights and many strifes, but i will post something here that i wrote so that you may better understand my heart. i see the pain that people go through over trying to please a God that claims to love unconditionally and it bothers me because i do not believe that God is or was ever bound by what has been collected and written down my man. i do believe that things are inspired by God but i have seen and felt things outside of this philosophy that has spoken to my heart and have shown love in such a way that i felt that these things were inspired by God as well. i think that it was our mistake to bind God by what people thought about him in the past and to believe that these things are somehow flawless in every word as if every act spoken in his name and claimed to be inspired by him was. They have clearly not been and people may manipulate God to serve their purposes and i do not think that this was any different in the days of old. I look forward once again to your response father. 070703 ... They call me Truth This is truth for those who wish to hear. For others it is a lie. The world has become a dictatorship, a restriction on freedom, an implementation of fear. Fear is the currency of society and it is easily spent because it is easily obtained. And with this currency, we have killed the truth of God. What can I say other than what I have been told? What can I believe other than what has been pointed out to me? If I was to believe in my heart, heaven forbid, I would be shunned and laughed at. I would be burned at the stake. If I was to follow my heart, God damn it, what would I be called today. Would I be called a liar or a worshiper of the Devil? Would I be called the Devil himself? At what moment would a silent death be laid upon me, because I choose to not rot from the inside, because I choose to not destroy the voice of God so that his “voice” could be dictated to me by someone else? What death would you give me? Would you turn your back and hate me condemn me to hell? But I will speak. I will speak for all those who fear. For all those who must submit to the laws of this world and forget the freedom of their heart, for all those who must turn to the world to hear truth, the same world the devil is supposed to be the prince of, and for all of those in between; I will speak my heart. I will believe the unbelievable. I will conceive the inconceivable. I will accept the impossible. Me and God are one. He is my heart in its perfect form. He is the hearts of all men and all things. The truth is God is all things. The illusion is that all things are not God. We wear the mask. And the mask is no longer the disguise. We have made it who we are. We are told that we must lie, that honesty is not always the best policy. We are told that we are bad. That we have fallen, that we are sinners merely saved by grace. We are told that we must lie down and give up all our joy and suffer because that is the price we must pay. We are handed truth. We are told it is truth. We must believe it is truth. We can’t deny it is truth because whatever our hearts say must be wrong because our hearts belong to the Prince of this world. We are evil. We are vile. We are disgusting. We are sinful people in filthy rags. And it is true. That is what we say we are so that is what we are. But I tell you this: we are all these things because we live in what we are not. And this mentality perpetuates the sin. This reality makes the truth a lie. And so we begin another chapter. We press forth. We live another lie. And we call it… Truth. 070703 ... father_confessional They call me Truth; Again you inundate me with many diverse topics. I am a simple man who prefers to deal with just one or two ideas at a time. So, as before, I will speak to the impression left to me by your words - less with the individual trees; more with the forest. God cannot tolerate sin. I believe God to be perfected and pure. By this purity His power is maintained and thereby, everything in heaven and on earth. The allowance of sin into His presence would dilute this purity (as it does our own) and, like a catalyst in a chemical reaction, I suspect that the whole of creation would be dramatically altered. Not something we would likely want to have happen. God's only acceptable means of cleansing sin has always been the blood sacrifice of the pure and innocent; in reference to the sacrifice of the Christ. And so, by Christ's sacrifice we are cleansed and allowed into God's presence. By this little bit of information, I mean to clarify your image of God as less than perfect. How He came to perfection is a matter of some scholarly debate but, by all learned accounts, to consider Him anything less is blasphemous. Another issue you raise, is that of the devil, Satan. You spoke of believing yourself to be the anti-Christ at one time and, whether you believe it or not, I can empathize with those feelings. I too was once lead into believing myself to be a biblical figure. I lost touch with reality for a time. I once met a Jew who had similar experiences, believing himself to be King David. As we get closer to God on our walk, Satan becomes more cunning and subtle in his manipulations of truth. It is easy to divert a babe in Christ but, more difficult to divert one who has greater faith. One must always question these newfound philosophies as to their origins. It may vary only subtly against the truth of God but, once deflected from the narrow path, it becomes easier for Satan to wheel us around. From Saint Paul's second epistle to the Corinthians (chapter 11): "13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. 14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works." In closing, I would say that it surprises me not that these things may resonate in your heart. This is as it should be, for by allowing myself to be used as a tool for His purposes, He speaks to you - not what I would say of myself but, what He needs for you to hear. 070703 ... jane if god is so perfect why did he give adam and eve two SONS? 070703 ... They call me Truth once again i must say WOW. it is exactly what i would think a person in your position would think. it also something that i would also say. i admire you because you have something about you that is essential in not only a good Christian but more importantly a good man. I too have become very simple. I believe that God created all things, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and i do not think that his purity can be corrupted by his creations or they would have corrupted him when they were created by him. There is more to this but im afraid, judging by what you wrote that you will undoubtedly label my situation simply, and though we are both simple men, i recognize and understand that there are both a simple and a complex side to everything. 070704 ... me horny damn, this is not a blathe to read when you're horny. I mean, it starts off with a naughty catholic girl and, frankly, things don't get a whole lot better from there on. 080801 ... oren Um, I_disagree. I_think it's a great blathe to read when you're horny. 080801 ... In_Bloom forgive me, please when he pushes me away when he throws barbs at me when he tells me things to hurt my feelings to knock me down a peg or two on purpose forgive me because... I don't want to hurt him in return instead I want to run to arms that don't hurt me I don't give a damn what lesson he believes he's teaching me I'm tired this year tired enough that I've done wrong I don't want to do wrong again but wrong keeps after me wrong sees my hurt and wants to touch it Forgive me, please I'm such a coward to let him have his say and everything his way while I hold my tongue and stomp my heart down and back into it's neat small container 091012 ... camille father forgive me ..when i was 10 i had decided to do the best that i could at being good avoiding the temptations of sin that way i could avoid going to confession on friday...the week went past i avoided doing anything that might blacken the slate...low and behold friday came.. i went to my mother and said.."mom i've been good all week, i made sure so i don't have to go to confession..." she looked at me in disbelief and screamed at the top of her lungs..."What? get the hell in the car you are going to confession!" quiet and meek as i was...shrunk a notch or two...and in the corridors of my mind i ran to and fro trying to figure out what i was going to confess????oh my God i have been good all week and here i'm going to have to make up lies so i can receive my three hail mary's and 4 our fathers as penance..what about lying to father confessional??? omg 091012 what's it to you? who go blather from