confessions Doar open up and release yourself. 040411 ... cinzento I confess that I'm afraid of the future. 040411 ... girl_jane see blather_confessional 040411 ... x i have standards for myself that i can't reach and it makes me hate myself sometimes. i have a hard time being alone and i've done a lot of stupid things with a lot of different guys since august. sometimes i have a beer before going to elementary school. i lie to get myself out of trouble when i deserve to be in trouble. i can't even confess certain things because of who i know that reads this. sigh. 040412 ... Lemon_Soda I'm a self-sustainial lier. 040412 ... minnesota_chris a little alcohol makes elementary school SO much easier. They should have beer in the staff lounge pop dispenser. 040412 ... birdmad go ahead and tell...what's a few more unskipped details in the sum of things, anymore, anyway? i'm not going to let it tortureme anymore because i've mostly been coming to the conclusion over time that anything i have thought or believed in the last couple of years hasn't been much more than a big delusion 040413 ... x i could talk about it until i was blue in the face but you'd still believe whatever makes you and your life most dramatic and tragic. i wasn't just talking about you, either. 040413 ... birdmad dramatic and tragic? oh please...seems you haven't read some of your own words over the last few weeks/years, otherwise where the hell do you get off even starting to jab at me about that sort of thing? amd honestly, what should i believe? 040413 ... x i am a dramatic person. i'll admit that. but i am willing to admit that things can improve. things are not always black and white. THINGS CHANGE. I don't sit around with a "poor me" attitude. i work hard to improve myself and my life. because i am not satisfied with being unhappy all my life and i don't think i'm destined to be unhappy forever. that's the difference. you are so convinced that you are doomed and nothing will ever get better. it's because you make it that way. wake up. you say that i pick up any guy who comes my way except you. but notice that they all at least live in the same state as me, for one. and also, they are all in a similar place as my head. they're all fucked up to some extent and all working to change that. meanwhile, i'm finding that i'm even better off alone. but i sure as hell know that i'm not better off with someone spouting gloom, doom, and helplessness. 040415 ... stork daddy no one wants to own their troubles. i'd say confess. how can anyone ever feel truly accepted if they never give it all. 040415 ... original or extra stupid i would be there as much for my own reasons as to be closer to you, but with the exception of just a few moments, even when i was sitting right next to you, it seemed like i was superfluous at best (i was right there, but you were about 454 miles away to the north), and with every thing that's happened since then, while i might have hoped otherwise, i haven't really seen reason to believe that my standing with you would or could improve beyond that point even if i was nearby. so between the problem of uncertain economics (job, money, etc.) and the seeming likelihood of never being more than the odd_sock to you anyway - regardless of the mileage, i'm not really even sure of anything anymore and since you seem to be the expert, i'd really like to know it is that i always "do this to myself" there are things i know i've done to myself, i've neer denied those, and they're hard to get over or around... but if i go by what you're telling me, then...and lemme get this straight... somehow anyone i've loved who has ever managed to do something that made me feel stupid and/or worthless did so becauze i made them do it? how the hell do you figure? 040415 ... Lemon_Soda I have no real drive and upkeep the semblance of a life for the sake of my audience, secretly cherishing the simplest moments with the very, VERY few that don't make me recoil in disgust at humanity in general. Man...I left all the good material in my last birthing stage behind... I don't really think the above...I just fear it may turn out to be true some times... On the upside, I know how to make balloon animals. 040415 ... king kong NINJA thing is, they will if you let em. hard to find someone that won't. luck innit? 040415 ... kookaburra my confession? i'm not as different as i claim to be. 040415 ... x see, this is what happens. it's not like we haven't had this conversation multiple times. no, you don't understand correctly what I am saying. you only hear what you want. and for all i know you feel the same about me. 040415 ... kookaburra ????? did i miss readin somethin important? was there some long convo about not bein different? if so i apologize (my add prevents long readin sessions) 040415 ... kookaburra oh, you were sayin that things change and what not...well i dont care about you or how dramatic you are-but-dont-want-others-to-be!!! besides how can you be less dramatic than my statement???? if you weren't talking to me feel free to imagine puttin me in a box and smashin me with a hammer 040415 ... somedaysam i just wish i could tell you how my heart beats a furious storm and my eyes seem to glaze at the sight of you you make me forget where i am who i am i just wish i were yours 040415 ... Death of a Rose Holy religious fanatic Batman! didn't think I'd start something that would grow this fast. There that's my confession. 040416 ... nomme i'm unedumacated 040416 ... minnesota_chris we were all talking about you, kookaburra. 040507 ... love & hate I cant stop loving you 040507 ... Zantic I once sat on a whoopee cushion, please don't tell anyone Father Mulkayee. 040507 ... witchesrequiem I can't understand just why you went away. I sit and wait for the day you'll come back home. You were, my hope, my God, my love, my fear, my God it's over. But it was all good...till the world came crumblin' down. COLD 040508 ... witchesrequiem You where the first thing I thought of, when I thought I'd drunk you off my mind. 040508 ... stingRay that's a terrifying statement, maybe you should run 040508 ... kookaburra heyyyyy!!! when im not around? shame... 040509 ... montreatgrrl i *do remember the first time we met 040615 ... FUCK!!!!!! I never feel remorse 051122 ... witchesrequiem whats terrifing? it is lyrics from a band...Cold the drunk thing..................true...however may have wrote and read it of a bathroom wall..? alll this time pasted ans still drunk... don't remember. 051123 ... Freak even you couldnt help me with this one... 051124 ... f once i murdered someone it was a girl that looked like a monster she had teeth coming out the side of her face and a chain around her neck she was kept in the shed out of sight from everyone sometimes they would let her out on a lead and give her dog food this monster scared me so much i decide to poor petrol onto the shed and set a light to it she squealed as she burnt to death i am happy i killed a monster 090227 what's it to you? who go blather from