excerpts paste! make your own! -------------------------------- from Revenge of the Glaciers by Ted Poultierre “This would be a good time to light that match!” Carson shouted, patching together the soggy wigwam. His gloves were failing miserably. When he left the shelter he had no intention of losing his cool. The General was behind him again, he had already lost his, paying very little attention to the shreds of sanity that remained. “Carson, Carson! Wake up!” standing directly behind him, “It’s time to make our final stand. The Ice Monoliths have done nothing but close in on our women and children and rations and...” Carson interjected, “But they’ll never have our dignity and warmth.” from Collected Poems of Otto Jenghan about not knowing the reasons behind detachment? And across the street, a wife is unbuttoning her surprises to a lover who was fired from the town’s only trophy supplier. from Rita’s Guide to Butterfly Catching by Rita McIntosh …balance and always keep solid footing. Remember that you usually have 10 to 20 minutes until the flashlight begins to irritate the Moth of Vercosa. Keep your elbows locked... from Truth or Falsified Information: The Majesty of the Animal Kingdom by T. Giddy Hayes The Ratchet Beetle is found in automobiles, factories and toolboxes, where it survives on a chemical compound found solely in petroleum distillates. The compound is necessary for mobility and integral to a metabolic cycle that allows it to utilize atmospheric helium. Specimens have been found imbedded in vinyl records and jars of Vaseline! from Ancient Ireland Vs Romanticism Vs McDonalds: A Study In Waves by Dorothy Yoe …see the sufferables on a larger scale and then it becomes all too clear how abundant. Grich then goes on to explain the dynamics of quality in lieu of the misbehaving natives and how the “apparition of the soggy vine” could only muster itself through mass instigation. from Afterschool Heat Part 12, Lenny has a crush on you! by Gilda Gracely …still wouldn’t let you in without a hall pass. But it didn’t matter, Wendy was going to get in whether they wanted her to or not! She snuck on her tip toes, her bright pink sneakers smearing the gymnasium floor. She knew one thing and one thing only: The sight of Lenny in his boxers would be hers at all costs! 030108 ... paste! from Over 2000 uses for Vienna Sausage! by Sammy Tundra 1203. Sizzling Vienna Sausage Quesadilla 1204. Vienna Sausage Gasket Sealer 1205. Vienna Sausage Parasol 1206. Customer Service Vienna Sausage 1207. Almonds, Toast and Vienna Sausage 030108 ... MDogMA Well, I gotta tell ya - I'd be very careful who I talk to about this. Because the person who wrote this is dangerous. And one day they could just snap. And then this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho, stalking from office to office with an Armalite AR-180 carbine gas-operated semi-automatic, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers. This could be someone you've known for years. Someone very close to you. tyler durden 030109 ... unhinged a long car ride that was the beginning of the end and i craned my neck to look at the sign on the outside of the rental hall and smiled (i have since forgotten to look). i colored in my tibetan buddhist coloring book. in this rental hall in nearby pennsylvania i heard my boys. we watched joel dance in a white bed sheet with a huge glass jar of whole pickles. i came home for the first time. i went to work making sure i had my death laid out in front of me. we drove to kent and got in for free. "the only people that are having fun here are the people that got in for free." she took a picture of me and them and they were all lined up in order; the order didn't become apparent until a few months later. 'can you hand me the ashtray?' 'hand you the what?' 'the ashtray' he carried me out of the building in my slippers and we went to the movies and i propped my leopard print slippers up on the seat in front of me. we sat on her porch and smoked a joint. it worked the very first time for me. we drove out to the lacrosse tournament and then out to the frat party where we were supposed to sell cds. we didn't sell a single one. kelly glared at me. he left. they were all horribly drunk except for him. they fought over kristin. he whacked his head on the curb and scraped his elbow. i rode home with them in the van because he wanted to party with us and needed someone to show him the way. frank and mark beat each other up right next to me while frank watched the t.v. in sunglasses 'now you know what it's like to be a rockstar.' he opened the back door while the van was going down the highway at 60 mph. when we got to the house he jumped into the bushes while frank followed with his feet up in the air 'dude, help me. i can't get up.' they made out in my lap. we were over his apartment sitting on the couch. as the bowl was passed through joel's straightedge hands, we stopped the rotation a moment to view the miracle. 'i want to get joel high. it would be so funny...he would probably start spouting math equations or something.' he held me as we looked at the stars behind the bar. he stopped talking to me. 'tell her that i care about her but i can't be with anyone right now.' i started cutting myself. it was the longest summer of my life. i couldn't even enjoy the ocean. everything reminded me of him kissing me in the middle of the street, the bar, the car. the cop that backed into the telephone pole across from lenny's house because he thought that we all were having an orgy. i stood outside smoking hoping that he would come to look for me. when she walked out to find me, i knew that i was done in him. that was the longest summer of my life. i went to see blink 182 because they were playing too. i went to the warped tour because they were playing there too. my neighbor was selling a bunch of small packets of white powder and asked me if i wanted to buy some. i made flyers and passed them out around town. sony 550 was there 'dude, we have like...fans' and i saw his hair and it made me want to cry. he was the first one that made me sick. they broke up. i missed quarters. i had started talking to her. she was lonely down in north_carolina. she didn't eat; she exercised too much. i always reminded her to eat. they played at the odeon for thanksgiving; donating all the profits to people who didn't have the money to eat. i met her there for the first time; she was with her teenage boyfriend. she was so happy to see me; she gave me a hug. she moved back home after one semester. it was snowing badly; i told her we would be there. we got into the accident and sat in the police station for hours waiting for her parents to take us back. when i woke up the next morning i couldn't move my neck. i went to the hospital and the er doctor gave me muscle relaxers and sent me home. (i am currently going to the chiropractor everyday for whiplash) she sat down next to me and hit me; tried to burn me with her cigarette. i could smell burning hair. she told me i was a liar, an exaggerator, a faker. my pupils were always dilated from pills. my head swam when i bent over the drinking fountain. i went to the bar after our rehearsal because they were supposed to play. he walked down with me. i had my pills in my pocket. i took two and drank a few. i couldn't hold my head up. she asked me what i was on. i gave her one. he carried her friend out of the bathroom. she came to spend the weekend. we drove out to mansfield but mapquest got us lost and we stopped at the firestation for directions. we thought we were hopelessly late but when we got there it hadnt' even started. we went out to the van with him and they did situps in the back. 'didn't i tell you i would always be there for you?' 'what was that all about?' 'i don't know sam; what did it look like?' 'it looked like you guys were a little more than friends.' she dragged me outside by the hand to have a cigarette. after the pimp and hoe party, after pills and beer, he picked me up and i spent the night with him. he was probably confused by the hug. 'i know i don't have a dick but you can sleep in my bed if it will make you feel better.' my roommate walked in to me in bed with another girl. i pretended to sleep and she pretended to hold me closer. we took our own alcohol to the bar that night. she went home with him. he opened the door, came in, kissed me and left without a word. it's been known to happen in practice rooms. he suddenly became too interested in me. 'all i can do is think about you. i can't get my work done because i want to spend every minute with you.' i knew he was a liar. he came to my room every afternoon. we made out to jeff_buckley. he wouldn't let me hold his hand. i laughed when he made a mess. i gave him back the sunglasses he left on my nightstand in class. i didn't return his phone calls. i left the party without saying a word. he needed me to help him study. he walked me home. (to be finished) 030109 ... unhinged i was almost 19. i thought i would be nice and invite him up. i said no. he tried anyways and was successful because i was drunk. "i am so glad we didn't have sex." i think i had a dream about him not too long ago...i remember seeing him from far away or five feet away in the dining hall and i would always get uncontrollably scared. the last time i saw him he was crossing the street and we had to stop at the blinking light. he waved at us. i wanted to get out of the car and beat the shit out of him. my hand twitched on the door handle. she asked me to stay in the car. i was almost 20. we were in the nyabinghi after the show sitting on the same side of a booth smoking cigarettes realizing that we were almost sober and the munchies had definitely set in. he slid in the booth on the bench across from us. 'what are you ladies doing tonight?' 'i don't know; why?' 'do you want to come over my apartment and smoke some hash?' i looked at her and she looked at me and said without saying it that it was up to me and i said 'yes we would like that' 'well i'll meet you over there then.' we stopped at taco bell on the way there and the ghettobell on fifth avenue was anything but fast food on a saturday night after the bars closed. when we got there the whole crowd from the bar including the opening band was already there. we sat down to eat our food. we couldn't finish it. ian asked me to feed him like a baby....i played airplane with my burrito. i sat down on the couch next to him and he packed a bowl of hash. we smoked; the feeling of hash always confuses me. i was high; i knew i was high but i could still think clearly about mutiple things at once. he said that i could pick a cd to put in the stereo. he had a lot of modest_mouse. when mike came back in the room, he was thrown into epileptic seizures by the music. i changed the cd to appalachian spring with yo-yo ma and that one bluegrass fiddler. he looked at me with this weird look "you are the first person to ever put that cd in" it chased everyone else into the other apartment where the hot chick from the bar was stripping while sam took pictures. 'i think i am going to get up and lock the door. do you mind?' 'no' there was a knock on the door. 'should i answer it?' 'do what you want dude.' 'no.' the knock got louder. he got up and let them in. she came to check on me and make sure i wasn't in the same situation again; i love her for that. but mike...i don't even know what to say about the look on his face. they left. he pulled out the blanket and gave me a massage. before long, we were laying on his living room floor, fucking to yo yo ma playing bluegrass. 'do you want to try this another way?' 'no' he had to get up in three hours for work. we layed on seperate couches talking about sneaking mashed potatoes into movie theaters until she came to take me home. a few weeks later, he called me up and asked me if i wanted to hang out at katy's apartment with a bunch of people. we watched dracula 2000. i bought beer and picked up my pipe. we played some drinking games. me and my partner kicked him and his partner's ass in the drinking game. we walked back to my dorm; i wouldn't let him walk all