tell_me_about_your_day endless desire tell me about your day. lets here it. ((i have a feeling that this page is going to pass through those two days without any, but it's always nice to tell about your day)) go for it. 030827 ... mon picked peaches_and_cream_corn dug 'tatoes my fingers are real sore under the tips of my scrubby little nails baby carrots beets onions four kinds some of it's on its way to the lower_mainland hurray watched fire burning up away in the valley felt wind rushing swirling round me and the growls of mountain thunder blah blah only a little topsy_turvy mostly a_good_day 030827 ... ashmanzhou i woke up i watched for the woman_passing_by and sighed i was asked today if i wanted to attend a funeral to one i approached being a friend to i said i would it was required i overheard two minutes later my carer telling them i would not be attending my state too fragile two hours later i was taken down again to the hospital i had to get my eyes looked at not good news surgery could allow me to see for a few years more but its my choice i want me to be the only person ever to cut my flesh i then was taken home where i read blather for five hours only stopping to watch again for the woman_passing_by thus my day ends i only hope i may sleep tonight 030828 ... endless desire this makes me happy. i went to school today. i tried to be optimistic but it wasn't as good as i had hoped. tomorrow will be better. i just need to keep saying that to myself. 030828 ... x i was going to tell you about yesterday or the day before, as they were interesting days, but I couldn't for some reason. Today I've done laundry, waited on hold for a long time, and taken my glasses in to be fixed. I'm happy that nothing else has happened. 030829 ... mon beans beans beans 030829 ... misstree woke up just as the sky was getting light, walked to work with a thunderstorm holding its enterance for me, visited with puppies and kittens at the humane society on lunch, played in the rain in the afternoon, and went dancing tonight to be surrounded by babybats, but the dj put together a set specifically to keep my on the dance floor against a will, then had some great conversations, was propositioned and relatively tempted by an ex-something, got a bunch of compliments on my dancing, and now i get to go to sleep. it's been a good day. 030829 ... krazykat Failed motor vehicle inspection. Bought "God Bless you Mr. Rosewater." Ate at White Castle. Barf. Finished a song. Went to work. Thought for 5 hours straight while staring at freight bills. Came home and decided not to go out. Went out, hated it. Came home, blathered. 030829 ... endless desire in the mornings now, i wake up to dark skies. dark skies never satisfy. i've had a beautiful day and a very rough day, at the same time. but it's the weekend now. how can i complain? x-why can't you blathe the other days? beans, eh? magic beans. dance dance dance. 030829 ... birdmad worked, shopped for groceries, remembered the beach and falling backward into the sand, blathed this, tried to sleep 030830 ... phil It sucked hardcore. The night was alright but the cay sucked, luckily I woke would around 3p.m. I went into my old job, to get my paycheck I had been trying for a week to get, but I can't get it cashed at the bank. Because I don't have to forms of i.d. Basically you need to be inthe military, have a bank account, or a friend that banks with Well's Fargo. I don't , I won't, I can't I try to explain this is all the money I have that I need it and so on, but there is no breaking them. SO I rode my bike over the Baker's. Now normally at Baker's I can get a check cashed any time of the day, but this particular one wouldn't, because I had not done it there before. . . what? So fine, I had wanted to get downtown and pay some fines before 5, but it looked like it wasn't going to happen, so I took my stolen 3 dollars (for bus fare) and went to the post office to mail something. Here everything worked out, by talking to the guy next to me in line I learned about priority mail, and the postal worker was very helpful in sorting me all out. Then the bike ride home, at this point, was just grueling. I even missed a turn and went a mile off course, probably because I was getting tired. This seems like a dangerous habit I need to break. Dinner sucked. And my neck has been cramped all day. 030830 ... endless desire i wanted to say something to make you feel better, phil, but i got nothing. i tried and tried to think of something to suggest or a word to say but i wound up empty handed. so i'm sorry your day sucked. and i'm sorry i take for granted cars and money and even post offices. sleep solve all problems in that you don't have to deal with them. 030830 ... no reason it brought back the past and reminded me of who i am and who i'm afraid to be, and now i feel as depressed and pathetic as i did years and years ago. and it's even worse this time because i don't want to want this all to be over. because what comes next is worse. what comes next is the epitome of uncertainty, which will make this seem silly in retrospect. i can't help it though...i keep thinking...thinking and thinking and analyzing and dwelling and fuck. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm sooooo tired. i can't take this. 030830 ... birdmad finally slept, slept through most of the day, played with the cats, remembered a museum and the quote from Bacon next to some of the images near the entryway to one of the exhibits "There is no such perfect beauty that hath not some strangeness to it" wandering through a rose garden memory of an afternoon looking at photo albums, chinese food, a movie, a restless walk along a quiet beach, trying to break thrugh a shadow 030830 ... x a shadow? 030902 ... misstree details are all so blurred from last night... i spent 28 dollars on energy drinks, and i was ready to go out before 9:00, so we smoked and drank to pass the time, and i was so caffeinated that i was talking 3 times as fast as normal... finally went out to the club, just about started humping the leg of the people i knew/liked, just because they were there and i was goofy and exuberant... chomped on more people than i can count, i only remember a couple in specific... had very promising flirtations with a pretty boy who told me no because i told him to, and a playful, irreverent spirit that comes whizzing by like a toy plane on occasion... danced, and danced some more, and then i danced some more, because the dj was playing crunchy music just for me... got promised the presence of debauchery at a halloween party, there will be a variety of sweetmeats selected for my perusal... got to see my flavorite gothcop, i've missed her to bits... all in all a damn fine night... i still have two big bite marks on my right shoulder that i have no idea the source of, and a big scratch mark down my back... i'm kinda confoozled and dismayed that i can't remember their source, but i didn't even remember who the hell drove me home until i'd been here for a bit... and i'm sure there's other stuff that i'm forgetting, it's all a very drunk and very caffeinated blur... but ya, a very good night indeed... and today i'm still slightly drunk and rather caffeinated. yay! *stares off into space with a weird expression on her face for several minutes* huh? what was i saying? oh yeah. yay! 'bout damn time i had fun. 030910 ... misstree o ya, and my nose also sustained some random unremembered injury last night, hurts this morning like i got punched. yay! 030910 ... endless desire mmm dancing fun 030910 ... misstree i would die if i couldn't dance. 030910 ... minnesota_chris My favorite way to begin a conversation. "How are you?" is worthless. Yesterday I answered phones for The Man for six hours, then I worked on a patio for a couple more. I drove my truck and wore my big cowboy hat and had fun with it all. Went home, and found out the cat had been locked outside the house all day. Good for him, actually, he eats too much, and needs the exercise. I left him outside today too. 030910 ... shivers came to skool, hung out with all the losers again. my freinds. my bf wasnt there, i think hes sick again. maybe i should go see him after skool. no one was here for lunch... all went to daves. stayed in the stairwell w/ kathy. in the library again... spare. then the bell rings and ill see wut everyone else is up too. 030910 ... endless desire if i answer, "how are you?" or "how was your day?" sincerely, then i usually want to talk. i like those questions because people tend to actually answer them. i hate things like, "whats up?" i mean, doesn't everyone just nothing or not much? today i am busy. yesterday i am busy. tomorrow i am busy. free moments spent correcting essays or reading papers or anything. never a second to myself. homework and school work and work and work and work. ok now. breathe. 030910 ... imposter I know you love it, and that you don't mind you're doing it, but please. . . don't kill yourself darling. 030910 ... Syrope *whimpers* i got up at 8 to call and check on my laptop but they weren't open yet so i went to math where once again i didn't understand a word, then i went to physics where we got to work on a program that wouldn't work and then i picked up what i thought was a free purple stapler but it was green. then i almost cried when i couldn't make any headway on the blank file that is my java project so i emailed for help, then i went to work where i wasnt needed and then to fax a form in to the homecoming committee people, signing myself up for more work. then i paid too much for a piece of pizza, back to work, waited for almost 2 hours, then the woman i'm supposed to type for didn't show up, so working 6-9 was canceled. then the meeting at 8 that i was going to get to at 9 i could then be at on time, so at 6:30 i trudged back home in the dress shoes (i was wearing dress shoes because if i had had to work i wouldnt have been able to go home before the meetng, and the meeting required interview attire) and notified the guy in charge that i would be at the meeting. he says he doesnt need me at the meeting any more and the java peopled emailed me and yelled at me for not knowing what i'm doing and the internship lady emailed me wanting to see "examples of webpages I'd developed" which were actually just two really crappy websites so now i look dumb to her too. then i decided not to go out with the people from the meeting after the meeting, and i told some of them and they didn't care. and i called the laptop guy and he put me on hold for a long time and then notified me that the part that's been on backorder for 3 weeks is now on backorder for another week, so i decided to go take a nap. i'm going to go take a nap. 030910 ... camille up at the dawn's crack 4:00 am. got my bath, coffee, did my check book while sipping coffee. Grabbed internet pages i printed out last night for child activities and crafts. Left for work about 5:30 am. work in a small town school about 30 miles away. Overheard that one of the janitors just put in their two weeks notice --was tired of the bosses "crap". I smile as i hear it in passing. So much work, so little said.Made sure the children made it on the bus alright to their intended school. We laughed and joked together as they waited for the bus. They tell me i'm crazy in a funny way..(their way of saying i understand where their coming from)... Let the bus drivers know i found the child that the book belonged to...A book "Eleanor" had been left behind last week. Went on stage to clean and tidy up a bit. Moved construction paper to another shelf cleaned other teacher's cabinet's (just a clean freak i suppose)picked up the days sign in sheet. Went to my office, asst. principal came in ... i got paid. i handed staff their cks. Put together the daily breakfast list. Turned it in, did accounts, made copies of files, went to find a smoke alarm for the stage area. The department store had none. Went back to work to move a few of the bazillion craft supplies. Checked my mail box..another seminar to attend.. ho hum.. Asked a janitor if i could have a pad lock cut off with bolt cutters as i could not get into the ball cage. Message have a phone call on line 2... a parent wanting to enroll their child. After that phone call i checked on Field trips and the IMAX theatre for show times. Spoke with a co-worker about records for their file..Worked on accounts. Stopped to take a break went to check on the availability of a bus for the field trip. Looked up the seminar on the internet... a boy stopped by my office to tell me the boy's bathroom had been toilet papered.. i grinned thinking (I wish i had thought of that)I let the asst. principal know he grinned-- he's cool! He laughed and asked "what else"? I grinned and walked away...finished up work now 2:30pm... on my way home i enjoy the drive winding hills... ... 030910 ... endless desire i hope you enjoyed your nap. it sure sounded like you needed one. . . long day, eh? bazillion. i'm digging the word. 030913 ... Syrope depends on what it's a bazillion of. the nap was most therapeutic :) thank you 030913 ... Road woke up empy and angry finally forced myself to get up....fed the cats, fresh water....showered....looked in the mirror...debated on calling in sick....decided to go in anyway spent 1/2 hr just blathing. Now I'm actually printing out some floor plans for the boss. 031016 ... Lemon_Soda Woke up. 4:10 am. Put on sandles. Drank a cup of coffee while smoking a cig. Went to work 430 am. Arrived at work 5 minutes early. 425am. Straightened a huge car garage. Swept a huge car garage.540 am smoked cig. Smoked another cig so I could smoke a cig with the guy who came out to smoke one with me arrived right after my first one.550 am Razored(scrubbed) a huge car garage.640 am Vaccumed 'lotta offices.. 710 am helped freind finish garbage duty. 725am virgo coffee:This weeks game:Go Fish! 830 am Virgo coffee parts ways. To school! NOW. Typing on computer. Emotionally, I'm pretty good. Little wired though. 031016 ... endless desire i woke up tired and dazed. i don't know how i fell asleep on my couch last night or how the covers were on me or how anything happened at all. i not sure who turned off the lights or put my reading away. strange how that is. i wasn't quite sure of anything. and i went to school in a strange mood. . .i wasn't sure how it got there. . .all i knew was that it was. and i went from class to class with vacant eyes. i prayed for a stronge wind, so that i might blow away and land somewhere completely foreign to me. i could start my life anew. i envied the birds, as everyone does at some point in their life. i watched them come and go as they pleased and felt as though they mocked me. i hope Road and Lemon_Soda have a wonderful days full of beautiful people and pleasant weather. i love go fish. 031016 ... endless has an eraser *strong 031016 ... Road you should come around more often Endless Desire....you tend to be a better part of coming to blather. 031101 ... bandersnatch i woke up at 2:PM. the sore throat ive been fighting for a week and i thought was dead came back with avengesnce and ive been coughing all day. mom yelled at me to get a job. i was too sick feeling from the cough and just feeling ick (could it also be an all out badcold as well as just a cough?), so i showered and played on the internet all day feeling like i could keel over dead at any moment. 031101 ... notme snowing i woe cup of water food music incense pictures cuddling with my cat charlie right now off to learn how to paint and it is 8:00 night begins eye will write next when i 031212 ... zeke woke and left them in the complex house of stuff with lots not done and impelled 2 tons to stop at metal way where 1 drags and the rest push inside i read the world on discrete pages left behind when i go in the ground to climb the stair into a box that lifts and spoke for money to designers who care and fixed their stuff and walked a mile to the hole in the ground to where one pulls and the rest push inside i read the world more closely on discret pages left behind and i impelled 2 tons the complex house filled with scattered toys 031212 ... Sleepy TK woke up shower (wash face/brush teeth) phone call dress clean blather clean clean grilled cheese (I know, cheese bad, kraft worce) clean clean clean break play w/ dogs clean clean clean blather and soon shower again 031212 ... minnesota_chris I dreamed about someone far away, who might be in love with me but might not be. 031213 ... endless desire nomme got snow. nomme should be happy. endless wants snow yet she gets none. i just want a little. im butt cold in my house and it's 40 degrees outside. the temperature mocks me. . .it doesn't dare get just a few degrees colder. not that 40 is cold to any of you, but, as much as i loathe it, im a california girl and im beginning to think i always will be, whether i move or not. i think zeke is writing some kind of riddle. -one drags and another one pulls- -something about discrete papers- blah, i am confused and feel useless to comment on your day. TK (Toxic_Kisses i assume, but im terribly afraid im guessing wrong) be happy you got two showers in a day! yee for showers. ((im sorry, two showers just seems real nice)) i happen to like fake cheese. man n cheese espcially. i can't spell espcially. i always spell it wrong. where's blather spell check when you need him? he always seems to be there when you dont. endless can see futures and predicts that chris's someone is in love with him. (or she at least crosses her fingers for his sake) 031213 ... endless d oh and bandersnatch, i assume that by now your cold is gone. you should all be sure not to catch the flue...i doubt it's as extreme as they say it is, but a whole mess of people sure are worried. 031213 ... zeke no riddle deconstructive proetry i was describing my day as being dominated by my commute 031213 ... blather spell check especially 031213 ... Toxic_Kisses/TK TK is me, no worrys their Endless D, and its not just fake cheese thats bad, ~ALL~ cheese is bad bc it slowly closes off your blood vessles like vel-crow and Kraft is expecialy bad bc, well look for yourself http://krafty.org/flash/ and thats why I don't eat Kraft 031213 ... PS anything under 73 is too cold for me Endless D ^.^ 031213 ... monee there was a thin sheet of snow when i got up i didn't do much i read music i closed my door on the argument but opened it again to explain some of why by spring i'm moving i was told i'm off somewhere else not listening not looking i'm singing a dream a beautiful something 041222 ... . . 051113 ... *Amy* Today I can`t stop sleeping, just like all the days before since a month ago. I cannot care about anything, not the uni, nor to go back to my town at weekends to see my friends and visit my family. It seems that the only thing I want to do is sleep and I hate myself for that. I woke up 4 hours ago but I`m going to go to sleep all the same again right now... 051114 ... Toxic_Kisses Tell me about your (yester)day Set up new trampoline Had fun making the dogs bounce Helped make bunny cage for new bunnies (Liberty and Justice) Put bunnies in cage Zonked out Woke up early Couldn’t go back to sleep Jumped on trampoline (wheeeee!) Watched the stars till sunrise Watched the sunrise Blathered 070330 ... Syrope yesterday i got up late, at 8, and got online the guy i'm seeing from work was already online, leaving me worried messages. he noticed i'd taken a half day yesterday and wanted to check on me. i don't want him to check on me. i don't know why i still even talk to him. i think i'm trying to hang on to his interest in me in case i get lonely, but i really don't see myself wanting to see him again. then i went to work, and i had some fairly important stuff to take care of. i ended up finishing most of it just behind schedule, but the half-hour delay pushed the most stressful task to "finishing on monday" ...i'd hoped i could not think about work all weekend but now it's kind of inevitable. at work i began the psychologically and emotionally taxing "clearing of the desk"...i loaded all my personal files on a thumbdrive, started inventorying all the things that will be passed to someone else when i go. IF i go. that's the thing. if i get another offer, i will need to put my 2 weeks in immediately, but if i don't i will need to stay. i feel like i've been cheating on my job, and while an affair is one thing, asking for a divorce is another. if i don't get an offer, will i be happy staying? anyway after work i made plans to go eat but then i didn't have time. i hurriedly packed and skipped eating and still was 8 o'clock getting to my parents' house. there was a lot of traffic on the way. we went to eat at a dinky little japanese restaurant, and my parents lectured to themselves about health concerns (for my benefit i'm sure) while they doused their food in soy sauce, ate all the rice first, put cream sauce all over their meat, and wiped their plates clean. i had meat and vegetables without sauce, and just a few bites of rice, but still had half a plate left when i was full. i wanted more than anything to be able to laugh it off. or to be losing weight. i'm bloated even more than usual because my period is almost a week late. i felt myself ovulate, and today i've got the first entire-abdomen cramp, so i think i'm ok, this just isn't convenient, or fun. anyway, so i'm even more of a whale in my parents' eyes than ever before, and they're lecturing me on weight while they take horrible care of their bodies and take handfuls of pills a day. i know i'm doing what's best for my body because i feel better than i even thought i could feel. i'd forgotten how good i felt before, because i'd felt so bad for so long. instead of being happy for me, they were in denial the whole time i was in mental hell, so now they don't see what the big deal is. i was wearing my "would you waddle with me?" penguin shirt, and mom hissed at me "take that off. you do not waddle"...which of course means that she does think i waddle, but that drawing attention to it is inappropriate. then the waitress popped by and squealed "AW your shirt is ADORABLE. i just love penguins. aww, "would you waddle with me?" sooo cute!" and then mom chimed in that she liked it too. i wanted to vomit. i told them about the interview and they just squinted at me, and asked questions about the benefits. information i, of course, don't have until the offer, which i told them would be next week at the earliest. they're not happy for me at all. then they complained for a good while about the huge family trip they went on, that they tried to get me to join them for. i refused, because i knew it would be exactly the way they are now so surprised and bitter about. "guess who's getting married?" "tony" *appalled that i know this*...he's been dating that one chick forEVER and last time i was here my brother was saying how she seems to kind of be drifting away, moving to FL was a big hint, but tony just keeps hanging on, so i figured he'd do something stupid like propose, and she'd do something weak like accept. to be with him this long she has to be weak. and have no self-respect. i'm sorry, that's just true. "guess who else is getting married? another one of your brother's friends?" well since he only HAS 2 friends "chris" *baffled* and then, just as i'm tiring of this stupid game... "guess who else?" and now i'm out of guesses...but, my cousin is, apparently. at that point they could have just dropped the charade and been like "oh and also, this older-than-you-by-years, virginal, fat chick with no social skills that you're related to? SHE found a husband. what is YOUR problem?" and i would have felt less awkward. i admit i was bitter that they reacted so indifferently to my big news. but i still...i was also bummed that i couldn't get in touch with the guy in this area that i wanted to see, and that they were making all these stupid comments about "health" issues. "did you know ranch dressing has TWO HUNDRED calories!?" as they heap creamy SHRIMP SAUCE onto their food. *sigh* and yes, i did know. but still, i felt like it was my fault. did i think it was a good idea to tell them about ANYTHING that's important to me? we got home and i retreated to bed. dad came in after he thought i was asleep and put my gifts on the dresser. and i'm looking at them now...the wrapping paper on each one is so fucking perfect, and the bows are all brightly colored and crisp. on one hand i feel like they feel sorry for me, but on the other, they have no idea what my entire life has been like, so why the fuck do i care? 070331 ... tail-devouring snake i remembered to put chia seeds in my water all day. coffee at home in the morning, at a cafe before closing at 530. i fed her endless times, changed her endless time, and had one shining moment of cradling her and rocking as she slept. saw one friend with a baby, then other friends with a baby. i rolled and ate 5 spring rolls. danced with husband in our living room once. stretched my arms up into the light rain once. saw one roadrunner. 10pm now and having meal 2.5 of the day. two loads of laundry. whisper prayers into her ear 3 times. felt sexy for 5 seconds looking at my reflection in the dark bathroom mirror. smelled the lavender bush at dusk. saw the pink and yellow clouds at dusk. mispronounced a child's name once. 150710 what's it to you? who go blather from